Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - Feeling Like Yourself Again with Louise Boyce aka Mama Still Got It

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

The hilarious, honest and inspirational Louise Boyce, also known on socials as Mama Still Got It joins us this week to chat about getting back to feeling like yourself again, baby names, and some of her best tips surviving motherhood. You can find Louise @mamastillgotitGet in touch with us! Contact us on [e-mail] or on our whatsapp on 07599927537.---A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. Well, hello. Firstly, I just want to say thank you all for the glowing reviews about my podcast I did with Tommy. I always have to emotionally blackmail him. I say always, he's done it twice, but I always have to emotionally blackmail him to do it. So it's very nice to show him positive feedback. So I really appreciate it. I can't believe it's a whole week since we recorded that and now I'm back again.

But do you know what? I've had quite a good week since we recorded that and now I'm back again. But do you know what? I've had quite a good week. I took Alf out. I took a day off, which I always want to do, but just never happens because of various things. But this year I was like, do you know what? I need to have better boundaries. I've only got a few weeks left until Alf is not my only one anymore. So I took him to the London Aquarium and it was really great. But what I will say is I was not expecting quite as much heavy lifting as I needed to do with getting him in and out of prams on tubes and in high chairs to the loo in public places. So it felt like a workout that I didn't need in my third trimester, but it was really nice. And also I had a friend

come to stay this weekend. So I talk a lot about the mum identity and how it's something I'm still grappling with. And one of the big things that I've really struggled with, especially moving away from where most of my friends live is not having that time with my friends who are sort of like my family and my lifeline. So I've stepped up my adulting and I bought a calendar and I've started scheduling things in in the future, which for most of you are probably like, okay, but for me, this is a big step because I'm the type of person that wakes up in the morning and I'm like, oh, I've got no plans today. Hey, what are you doing? And everyone's like, yeah, I'm booked until September 2072. So I've decided to be that person.

And it's really nice. We went to the beach, a really nice place in Essex called Leon C. Do you know what? I feel like this is going to be the year, even though I'm about to enter newborn territory again, that I feel a little bit more to grips with my identity. And so I have the perfect guest this week who not only I'm excited because she's really, really bloody funny. And I always say

that I wish my podcast was a bit funnier. So this is the perfect guest, but also she talks so much about identity and actually her whole brand and business was launched off this sort of mum identity. So she firstly is a mum of three. She's someone I knew from a past life because we were at the same model agency, which feels so long ago. And she is a campaigner. She's got a podcast as well. She's got a book coming out, which we'll chat about later. She is honestly, I'm going to say one of the funniest people on social media. Even Tommy was like, you need to follow this person. And I was like, I know that person. And did I say she's Mama Fu? I can't remember Baby Brain, but I'll just introduce her. So it is Louise Boyce, aka Mama Still Got It. Hello. How are you? I'm all right actually. I'm a little bit jet-lagged

but I'm fine. The kids are all at school and nursery. I was in Miami doing a photo shoot. Is there anything better than being on a plane without children? Oh my god it's the best. It's like it's actually the best. I was 11 hours on the plane I read a book I watched movies I went to the loo alone I had some wine it's like being on holiday I was gonna say when I speak to friends who don't have kids who by the way I'm guilt I'm so guilty of this so no judgment and when you're like how was the flight and they were like oh it's really long it's really hard really stressful yeah I couldn't really sleep and I'm like uh-huh that's how literally sounds like heaven to me being like locked in an aluminium tin yes where no one can

disturb me and I get to watch a film yeah exactly what you said it was like being on holiday but there but it's weird because whenever I'm travel with my kids you know you kind of go oh my god if only I was traveling alone and then you travel alone and they're like oh I really miss my kids it's like a constant kind of like can I just be happy in this moment um but I was traveling alone. And then you travel alone and they're like, oh, I really miss my kids. It's like a constant kind of like, can I just be happy in this moment? But I was happy in the moment when I was just, I watched that movie Elvis. It's amazing.

Managed to watch the whole thing with no interruptions. It was brilliant. Yeah, very good. What I'd love to talk to you about is how Mums Still Got It actually came about. Because what's mad is I knew you at this time. And I think this is the really interesting thing about motherhood is we seem to go through these huge identity shifts that

are so invisible that to anyone else you're still the same person but inside you're like what the fuck am I who the fuck am I talk to me about your sort of like the birth of Mama Still Got It, but also your experience with the mum identity. Yeah. So as you said, yeah, we were at the same modelling agency and I was modelling from the age of on and off from like 15 all the way to when I became pregnant, which is when I was 31. And I wasn't with my agency then. I was with my previous agency. I told them I was pregnant.

And they treated it like some kind of disease. And they actually said, okay, well, you're done now. I was like, oh, my God, really? Oh, God, that's horrendous. And I suddenly went from being this jet-setting model, going everywhere, earning nice money, independence. I had a great life to then having absolutely nothing and bringing a baby into the world without an income and really kind of questioning who I am, where am I going in life?

I never thought I'd bring a child into this world without having a plan, without having an income. Luckily, my partner, you know, could just about at the time support us both. But it was really quite frightening. And then on top of that, you do have that kind of identity crisis when you question everything and you see yourself change, you see your body change, you see your hair change, your skin, everything. And I had wonderful pregnancies. I them I loved being pregnant but there was always this kind of undercurrent of what happens next like I can't wait to have this baby but it almost felt like it was held against me and clients and I caught I saw other models have children and then not necessarily

come back to work like that was it they were done and I didn't I was 31 I still had fuel in the tank I still wanted to work I still could work and then um I started working at our agency because that seemed to be the next step after my baby was born which is when I met you and um so I was there for a while and then had my other baby. And then I knew it was too difficult for me to go back to work full time. And again, I was stuck in this place where I didn't know my next move. I didn't know what I was going to do. And then just randomly, I was feeding Sonny, my second child, he was about six months old, just feeling really blah, just feeling really, you know, when you're on maternity leave and you've

got nothing to do apart from look after your child which is great but I needed something for me as well and then I got an email from my agency saying um there's a client in Italy that wants to shoot you and it was like a great um photographer great client do you want to do it are you ready and I just looked at my son and I just said oh I guess mama's still got it and then this weird like light bulb moment happened and I was like oh that's quite a good name and I just looked at the domain name it was available so I bought it straight away and just thought there must be other women out there that want to still feel like they are still a woman rather than just a mother. And they want to hold on to their identity and they still want to go back to work

and still do all the things that we did before. And so it started from there really. And I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know if it would appeal to anyone. I had no idea. At the time, I wasn't even on social media. I had a private account. So I changed everything. I literally just went for it. Didn't know what I was doing I was slightly embarrassed had to kind of say to my friends I've changed my Instagram name and I don't know what I'm doing but there will be more selfies of me which made me cringe at the time um but it they were like you know just do what you need to do and I'm so pleased that I did because I nearly didn't do it out of like lack of confidence that you get when you do kind of lose your identity of becoming a mother obviously that

lack of confidence made me not believe in myself and um I just went for it really and the rest is history as they say when did um things really start to take off with you because like would it have been lockdown really how like how do you do these funny reels? Honestly, they're so good. But like, where did the idea even come from? And how do you execute them so brilliantly? Thank you. It's weird, because before COVID, my content was very different to what it is now. I think before COVID, it was very much, you know, there was still some humor there, but it was more pictures. And I guess actually reels went around back then you know there was still some humor there but it was more um pictures and I guess actually reels went around back then so there was more pictures and more like you know

my makeup transitions which is you know I still do and then COVID happened and obviously as we know everything shut down and I was actually really quite anxious and scared about all of COVID at first um I felt yeah really on edge and I had to stop looking at the news um and I I was it's weird like I was going to bed like well I was having like this kind of mini panic attacks and just feeling like I can't constantly hear about what's going on in the world I'd rather just shut myself off and not know and so that's when I kind of turned to humor um I started like scrolling on TikTok and saw really funny content like and it was really uh it was like a breath of fresh air it wasn't on Instagram at the time and it made me laugh out loud which helped me feel like easier and just more relaxed

and so I thought well maybe I can try this out myself. So I joined TikTok and obviously I didn't have any followers at all there because I started from scratch. I kind of thought, well, I'll do some funny content on TikTok and my Instagram followers won't see it because they're probably not on TikTok. So I kind of felt a bit kind of like, well, no one's going to see it. It doesn't matter. So I kind of put, again, I put myself out there just thinking no one's going to see it. It doesn't matter. So I kind of put, again, I put myself out there just thinking no one's going to see it. And so I started doing funny content and it started to take off. And then I would put my TikTok videos onto Instagram to see how they would do. And I was quite surprised as well, but it kind of did well. And then I just evolved into them doing these silly hands, which was completely, it was just fluke.

It was just like, I had them anyway in a drawer because a friend gave them to me when I gave birth to my third. She was like, you need an extra pair of hands. Here you go, have these. I was like, that's a bit weird, mate. But turns out they're now part of my identity, which is bizarre. I didn't join Instagram to become the girl with the silly hands,

but there you go. And the reels are just from everyday life experiences and kind of put a light spin on all the crap that we go through on a daily basis. It's so funny. And I love that. Yeah, it's the stuff that is actually not that light-hearted but you make it light-hearted and you make it funny and

it's still really positive and I feel like often when mums try to like or parents in general but especially mums try to be open about the struggles they're sort of like cast off it's like oh don't have children then or don't be so negative and yeah it's it's great because it is I mean it's hilarious like I said Tommy's always like have you seen this one I've seen this one but I think I've always done that whenever there's been something quite stressful going on in my life without me realizing I've always kind of spun it and tried to put a positive twist on it and I guess I've done that in my um um, in my videos. Like I'm struggling at the moment with my three-year-old to get to bed, like reading her story is hell. I did a video

on it thinking, honestly thinking maybe I'm the only one that goes through this. Maybe I'm alone here. Maybe my daughter, maybe people are going to say there's something wrong with your daughter. But what's, what I find fascinating is these videos go out and then the amount of people that are like, oh my God, I've got the same problem I can relate to that and not only does it make me feel better and normal it makes the followers who are watching it feel normal and oh yeah my kids doing the same thing and it's kind of like this universal we're all in this together we're all going through this together and yes it's really difficult but yes we can look at the light side of it because it's not going to last forever and then we'll miss it. Apparently, as someone who's kind of still going through this sort of identity crisis.

And I think a lot of this has been heightened by lockdown that my motherhood and lockdown journey was so intertwined that I'm a bit like, what the fuck? What the fuck was that? When did you start to feel kind of like, oh, this is me and I'm still Louise, but I'm Louise 2.0 or 3.0 or whatever you want to call it. And what advice would you give to people like me or people even earlier in their journey, like new mums who are struggling, like what advice how what was

your timeline it's hard to kind of put like an actual date on it I mean these things happen really gradually um and I I must say that I do feel more like me now than I have done in you know in a long time but it does take time And it's little things that you said earlier about meeting up with your friends, making plans, like still doing those little things that you did before you were a mother are so important to me. And the things that you can forget to do because you're so busy doing everything else, but I'm in a WhatsApp chat.

And one of my friends who decided to not have children, I must say she's the one that's always like, right, when are we next meeting up? When are we have children I must say she's the one that's always like right when are we next meeting up when is the date in the diary and she's the one that organizes everything because the rest of us are mothers and the rest of us are like I can't I can't think I've got the time or um you're answering other messages from the school whatsapp which is just never ending I must admit she is the one that kind of brings us all together and whenever we are together and we we do try and get together I say like once a month like a nice dinner drinks or even a weekend away and it's

those key things that make me feel like me like I've still got it like I've kind of I can have it all in a way but it's little little things going to just the cafe and getting a cup of coffee by myself. Those little things that I did before just makes me feel like me. And it's bizarre because when I went to Miami just now, which is what I used to do all the time before I was a mother, I was literally flying all the time by myself. And it's weird because I remember like all these memories come flooding back, but I was actually quite lonely. lonely I was quite and I longed for a family of my own and I longed to I used to look at other families flying and think that's what I want I want to be on a flight with with small children little did I know so even though I did do all these lovely things alone I was alone and I wanted I pined for a family and now that I have that family it's funny that I pined to be alone.

So even before I was a mother, I wouldn't say that my life was perfect because it wasn't in any way. But it's little things. And I think also holding on to my identity for me was when I kind of threw myself into work, like what I wanted to do. Like I really worked on my brand and wanted people to hear my message. And for me, just having something that wasn't just being a mum helped me feel like there's my identity. And again, getting your hair done or getting your eyebrows threaded,

which I really need to do at the moment, your nails done all these little things that you're treating yourself even they're small small things but you add up those small things over time and then it feels like a big thing I also think it's important to have you know a great partner by your side who makes you feel like the person you were before um I must admit my husband's very good at making me feel like I've still got it. He's very complimentary. Even when I looked and felt absolutely disgusting after I gave birth, he was still like,

you look really beautiful. And I was like, I fucking don't, but thanks. So I think it's having that support there as well, which is really nice. But yeah, but it's something that support there as well which is really nice but yeah but it's it's something that happens over time you know I still am a work in progress I do feel confident and I know who I am but I still get days of like you know as we all do yeah what's interesting to me is I kind of relate to all the things you're saying of you know going through motherhood and then like making that time for yourself and getting your autonomy back and seeing your friends again and getting to go out.

But how was it for you as a mom of three going back into those newborn days? Because when I listen to this, it almost makes me, don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to meet my little girl. And I'm so excited to get to experience all again now that I know it with less of an expectation but also knowing that the hard bits sort of end and I mean never say never but I want this to be my last child so I'm hoping that I'll just get to enjoy all the little moments within the really mundane shit parts but how did you cope with kind of giving up a lot of that autonomy and all of the things that make you feel like you've still got it or was there a way that you managed to find balance for anyone that is listening who is either still breastfeeding or not able to leave their child for whatever

reason yeah I think I always remind myself and I still do now when when times are tough that it passes it does pass and then it and then you forget it and it sounds like mad but my brother's had a baby and he's my brother's having a really tough time with him with sleep training and getting to eat the right foods and he's really stressing out about it and he's like Louise what did you do and I'm there just going I can't remember I can't remember but I know when I was in it, it was awful. And I couldn't see light at the end of the tunnel. But everything that we go through as parents, it passes and it passes so quickly. And then you forget or you miss it. And I'm so envious of you about to have a baby. Not that I want another one. I'm definitely definitely done that whole newborn experience is so short

and it's so magical and it's so wonderful and it's like my favorite part of having I think a child actually there's loads of great parts but that is those first few weeks when yes you're kind of like you're recovering and your body's just performed this most miraculous thing but it's that it's that initial bond and that time just healing together. I absolutely, I'd love to do that again. Yes, it's hard and you're wearing, you know, nappies yourself and your nipples hurt and all that jazz, but it's just magical. And it passes.

Do you know what I'm so excited to do, which I didn't quite appreciate the first time round, just being able to like binge watch series. And especially because I'm having a plan C section, I know that I have to stay in bed for the first two weeks, more or less, because I've been told, you know, the more you do that, then the easier the recovery is after. So Tommy's mum is a nurse and she's going to come over. Yeah. And I feel like the first time I was like, oh, it's lockdown, I'm bored in the house. And I didn't quite appreciate that those binge watching marathons would show slowly but gradually slowly come to an end around the six month mark whereas this time I said to Tommy like let's let's make a

list of all the series that we haven't seen and we can catch up because I was gonna be in child care and I literally cannot wait to just be cut open in bed with my second and my third I think with my first everything's a bit like oh my god what the hell's going on but with my second and my third I actually you know when you get like the the baby blues like I think it's day three or day four in or something when you're when your milk starts coming in and you get that kind of like well the usual baby blues and I embraced it I said to my husband, I was like, right, tomorrow I'm going to be crying my eyes out. So what we're going to do is I'm going to get all these movies lined up,

the ones that are going to make me sob. And so we set up all these movies. And I just sat there breastfeeding, just sobbing. And my husband kept going, are you sure you're okay? I'm like, yes, I'm fine. It's just part of the process. And I just embraced it. And I loved it. And then, because it's obviously, it's part of the interest. This release and it and I loved it and then because it's obviously it's

this release and it just I don't know it's just I just tried to embrace as much as I could and I still try and do that now even when you know I've got other issues with my children like my 10 year old doesn't want to do his homework or my seven year old is just always wants to be on his iPad and my three year old doesn't like going to bed like there's always something but with something I know it's going to pass um and that's what I keep reminding myself when things are tough I know it will pass as everything does and then obviously you get something else and you know that's going to pass but generally all this all the crap that I went through when they were younger a you forget or b you miss it you just miss it it's bizarre and I remember at the time thinking

I'm not gonna miss this I'm not and then you look back at photos oh my god but they were so cute look how small they are and I missed that. This advert is organized and funded by Sanofi's Together Against RSV Disease Awareness Campaign and is for UK residents only. Now I want to take a moment to raise awareness of a respiratory illness called Respiratory Syncytial Virus, which is a common and contagious illness in children. RSV causes infection in the lower part of the respiratory system in infants. These are known as lower respiratory tract infections. RSV infection can cause respiratory illnesses such as bronchiolitis, pneumonia and croup. Most RSV illnesses in babies are mild and clear up on their own, however, some cases can be more serious and require hospital care. RSV is a leading cause of lower

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on the Train Happy podcast feed and it's available wherever you get your podcasts from. I guess that's like the lesson in it that a lot of it is quite shit at the beginning and I guess nothing can prepare. lesson in it that a lot of it is quite shit at the beginning and I guess nothing can prepare maybe not the newborn bit but there are lots of shit bits in sleep deprivation and sore nipples and healing from birth and all of that but it's like the little moments that you remember and I guess it's much like the rest of life as well you could have a holiday where you

argue all the time or so much can go wrong but then you remember all the like the good moments within that holiday and you're like oh wasn't that fun and you're like we literally argued the whole time that was not fun yeah no totally honestly I mean spot on I was looking at some photos um at Miami airport because we were delayed so I started going through my phone looking at some pictures and I found um photos of when we went to Aruba back in 2019 and I remember there was one night in particular that Jesse and I had this huge argument before we went out but then I look at the pictures and I'm like oh my god that was such a nice night how lovely am I actually was it but but we do we do seem to hold on to fond memories or I do anyway, which is maybe it's a survival mechanism.

We love to romanticize the past and fantasize about the future, but we're less good at living in the moment, aren't we? And I feel like maybe that's something to take away. That's very true, yeah. I want to pick up on something that you mentioned earlier, which was that you felt disgusting after childbirth, especially as a model. like what, how did you kind of feel body confident again? It's bizarre because when I was pregnant for the first time, I think we went on holiday and that was the first time really that I felt confident having my tummy out properly on the beach, but because I was pregnant. And so I was showing off this lovely

bump and I felt really confident being in a bikini, whereas, you know, previous to that, I was always very self-aware of my body. You know, I've had a bit of a weird relationship with my body since I was 15. But when I was pregnant, I had this confidence because I was allowed to have this big tummy. And then after I gave birth, I was really curious as to how my tummy would be because obviously I knew it changed and I didn't realize after I gave birth, I still looked like I was pregnant. And I always thought that that wasn't the case. I thought it just kind of went down straight away. Like at the time I wasn't on social media, none of my friends had had babies. So I didn't know all these things. So I was like, oh God, is this normal so I didn't know all these things so I was like oh god is this

normal I don't know and then I must admit like since becoming a mother I'm more likely to wear a swimming costume on the beach than I am a bikini maybe that's because there's so much comparison between women a lot and sometimes I just think I'd just rather not be involved in that so I just I'll just wear a swimsuit just to not tap the chat of how often do you work out or not and it's I find that quite difficult sometimes and if we think about it we're like the first generation of parents to be on social media and so for now more than ever before there's so much comparison with everything how you parent how your body is how your house is where do you go on holiday all these things that we can look into people's lives now that we never did before

and that can be quite difficult as well especially for for new mothers who have lost that bit of confidence and identity at the beginning. And for me to get that confidence back, again, like I just, it's just a work in progress. I had learned to love my body. I realized that it had performed this miraculous thing. You know, growing a baby inside you is incredible what our body does. Our body just knows what to do. It gets on with it. And it made me just really have a bit more respect for myself, respect for my body.

And so after I gave birth, and obviously my tummy had changed, you kind of think, okay, yeah, that's fine. But look what it's done look look what it's produced look I can see what it's produced I've got these people in front of me who are amazing and that's that means more to me than how my tummy looks and it's you know just being kind to yourself the way that we speak to ourselves is so important like even those little things that we think all the time that may be negative yeah you know I've learned to kind of go whenever I find myself being mean to myself I have to just shut it off and say no no no no no and spin it around and say actually my body's done this and it's incredible and I I'm still here. Like years ago, when I was in the height of my eating disorder days,

I was told I couldn't even have children. So the fact that I've got three healthy children is miraculous. So I remind myself of that a lot. But it's definitely a process. And it's just being kinder to yourself, not comparing yourself to anyone. I think that's the harder to yourself not comparing yourself to anyone I think that's a hard thing it's just not comparing you know you see these celebrities or influencers online who have like had a baby like yesterday and they've got like a six pack and you're like okay that's

great that works for you that's great but you know that's not everyone and I think there are women out there that that really do compare and do get affected. That's why I started that campaign for more honesty and maternity advertising because they were pregnant women comparing themselves to these models online who weren't actually pregnant and looked perfect in these clothes. Oh, I remember this. And there's such an irony in the fact that you were told, you got pregnant and were told that you wouldn't work again. And yet there's all these maternity images out there. So you're I mean, I always knew that I always knew, okay, I got pregnant. I can't do modeling because they like to use the phone bumps. And I mentioned this on my Instagram, thinking that everyone knew about it for thinking it was like common knowledge.

And then the amount of women who were like, Oh my God, thank you because I've been dieting to try and look like these other pregnant people how come that lady can look so perfect pregnant when I'm swelling everywhere and everything's grown but the fact that they now know that they weren't pregnant and now it states on the website it states that this model is wearing a foam bump and it's not actually pregnant I actually know quite a few people who are actually influencers who have given birth and look like they haven't given birth. And obviously, it's easy to be like, what a bitch.

But actually, they feel really insecure to post about anything online because they feel kind of unworthy or not good role models. That's what they're always told. You're not real. You're not real. This is not a real reflection of women. And it made me realize that actually the shaming is on both ends. One of the girls I know who did look like she didn't have a baby, she still had a bladder prolapse and incontinence and all of the things that I had.

And I think this is the thing for me that made me realize for anyone who is comparing, it's like we are made to feel that bouncing back and baby weight, which is a rank term in itself, are the most important things or kind of like the factors of postnatal recovery. When actually, you know, I even think like Emily Ratajkowski, I mean, she's like not human with how her body changes after pregnancy, but we don't know. She might be shitting herself. She might have all of these, she might have the biggest piles.

If her piles are bigger than mine, I doubt it, but we just don't know. And I think that's what I always say to anyone that is lacking body confidence or is feeling that they're comparing themselves to someone else because it is the tip of the iceberg with postnatal recovery as anyone who has given birth knows like you know hopefully none of us have issues but I know for a fact I do and when I lost weight because of COVID and everyone's like

oh my god how did you lose the baby weight and I was like because I'm ill and I'm depressed and I'm sleep deprived and I'm by the way I'm still shitting myself. So I just want to feel normal. I couldn't care less about whether I weigh whatever I weigh. I don't know. Or whether I look like I haven't had a baby. I just want my body to work. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

That is the most important thing. Yeah, we don't want to be shitting ourselves. So yeah. Nobody wants that. Yeah. I think we finally got a name now as well. So yeah, it's all feeling very real. I'm very excited. Are you sharing or are you waiting?

No, the reason I'm not sharing is because our first name that we had for her, which awkwardly I told my family and it was kind of like a sort of family name and we changed our mind. But we made the mistake of telling people and Tommy's brother said it sounded like a porn star. And so that totally put Tommy off the name. So we have learned. Oh, it's not fair. Yeah, we've learned not to share. We didn't tell anyone our names because, yeah, we didn't tell anyone the names of our children because of that reason. People relate names to certain people.

But then I've got to say, our family went you know they didn't hold back how they felt about our name to be fair with with Alf was the same when we said about Alf's name my mum was like oh well you've got six months to change your mind oh my god I know it's not right like my um my father-in-law is a retired teacher so obviously he can relate people back to names like students and stuff so we called our second child sunny and we didn't tell him but we love the name sunny and then he was like he literally was like you cannot call your child that you have you have to change his name how about sam do you like sam i was like you can't tell me what to call my child yeah so i was like it's sunny it's super sunny i know he loves it i was gonna say i had another

girl's name that I loved and Tommy wasn't quite keen on. And so I mentioned it to my best friend around Tommy, thinking like, she's going to really egg this on and make Tommy let me pick the name. And she was like, yeah, pretty much everyone I know with that name is a massive slut. And I was like, this is not helping.

The last name is a porn star. Now the name is a slut. So my lips are sealed. I promise you, podcast listeners, you will be the first to know, or probably Instagram will be the first to know, but I will say the name. But when I say it, just say that is a lovely name. Just say that's lovely.

I mean, yeah. It's amazing how people have such an opinion on your baby's name and literally share it um and tell you about it you're like oh I don't need to hear that but thank you anyway bye um anyway I know that we have been um chatting for England about various topics but I do want to talk about your debut book yeah I can't believe I wrote a book. Congratulations. Tell me more about it. Oh my gosh. It actually feels like my fourth child. There's such a process to writing a book, which I have no idea about.

So it's called Mama Still Got It. And it's a year in the life of a mother with school children or nursery children. So it starts in september when kids go back to school and it's written month by month and all the things that we go through month by month and it's and like you know from easter to halloween to world book day to play dates to swimming lessons to all the things that we do in a year and there's so much but it's written in a very light-hearted comedy way a bit like my it was it's like my reels but in a book um that kind of goes into more depth with all the motherhood um shit we go through there's a few things in there that no one's ever known about uh there's a few

there's a lot of work stuff in there that no one's ever known about there's a few um beauty secrets you know without blowing my own trumpet it's it's a lovely read and it's it's been written in ways you can pick it up at any time like you say what month we're in now we're in january right now if you get the book and you're like oh it's january i'm going to read about what's going on in january fine you know you can pick it up and put it down whenever you want and it will hopefully make people feel like they're normal in their parenting journey and what we all go through it's completely normal and it will raise a smile or make you laugh out loud that's the whole idea so it's a very light-hearted book on motherhood and I can't believe I didhood um and I can't believe I did it

actually I can't believe you did it with three kids and a job and you've written a book what the hell very busy eight nine months yes it's uh it's been done and I can't believe it and it's out for for Mother's Day so uh which was done purposely because I want people to get it as a gift for themselves for Mother's Day oh yeah so you can either buy it for yourself or start dropping some hints but I imagine I haven't read it but I'm excited to read it I I'm feeling like it's going to be like obviously all the relatable shit show that we go through but in your usual humorous way yeah it's um I mean I've read it now about five times because there's so many obviously like proof reads and edits and stuff and so I've been reading it for eight months and five times and

I still like it which is saying something I just don't know what's going on out loud I mean it's the kind of book that I wish that I had read before my kids started school and stuff just kind of see what was to come and what to prepare for but it's um yeah you know it's it's strange for me to kind of blow my own trumpet but it's a very it's a it's a nice book please go and buy it we have to blow our own trumpet especially as mums i feel like we don't blow our own trumpets or not so blow away but um yeah thank you so much for coming on and chatting thank you i'm gonna put all the links to well your book if it's i presume ready for pre-order pre-order yes but that'd be great thank you so much well anyway have a lovely day good luck with

the book and we'll chat soon and for anyone that doesn't follow louise on instagram i'm gonna put all her details below like i mentioned thank. Thank you. Thank you so much. I wanted to read out this Apple podcast review. It is anonymous, but it says, I absolutely love this podcast. I'm expecting my first little one in September and I have a stepdaughter. I've already dealt with a lot of judgments surrounding my stepdaughter, but listening to this has inspired me to advocate for myself and speak up more, not just for myself. daughter, but listening to this has inspired me to advocate for myself and speak up more, not just for myself. Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner.

Peloton all access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. For my kids, having grown up in an environment where I felt like I could never speak up about opinions, this is huge. Thanks to Ashley and all her guests for being so inspiring. I absolutely love this. And do you know what? I find it so weird, the judgment. Number one, I can't imagine not caring enough. That's not the right word, but I just can't imagine thinking that I know what's right over someone else. But also, I don't understand why there'd be judgment around a stepdaughter. I think it's amazing that you parent another child like your own. Yeah.

Anyway, I don't understand that. But I'm glad that the podcast is helping you speak up. And as always, I love, love hearing from you. If you do want to get in touch, whether it's about things that we have covered today or previous episodes, or maybe you want to suggest topics or guests for future episodes, then you can get in touch like this person did on Apple Podcasts. If that's where you listen, you can leave a review. Obviously, five star helps other people find us, but I will not emotionally blackmail you like I do to Tommy.

Or you can get in touch on WhatsApp where you can send a voice message. It's free. You can do it anonymously if you want. The number is 075-999-27537. Or, of course, you can email me at askmomsthewordpod at gmail.com. And I will be back with another episode, same time, same place next week.