Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - Georgia Jones

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

Model, Presenter and Influencer Georgia Jones joins Ashley to chat all about post-natal body image, reaching out for help, deal and finding time for herself this week on the Mum's the Word Podcast!If you have a parenting question you would like Ashley and her guest to discuss, get in touch at [e-mail]---A Create PodcastSee acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

this week i took alph into london and i randomly bumped into a friend and i've not seen her since well the pandemic but also since i became a mom and she is a mom a mom to a boy and the moment i saw her she literally burst into tears and hugged me and obviously it's like so sad to think that she's struggling but it was also really nice to think that like all the struggles and the hardships that we go through as mums like we're not alone it's also allowed me to like be there for her and to hopefully like reach out more because I know that she is finding things difficult at the moment but it it also I feel like connected to her and I think it's like such a good thing to talk about because there's this kind of like thing where we feel like we have to

like be happy or strong especially as mums we don't want people to think that we're not coping but actually sometimes when we're not coping to be able to like talk about it with someone it allows them to help but also connect and share their story as well so I actually wanted her to come on to the podcast today because not only can we talk about all the struggles and the things that we're going through but I know for a fact that she really struggled with something that I am currently going through and that is postpartum hair loss I don't know if you guys experienced it or are experiencing it or are maybe worrying about experiencing it but if you have any tips or tricks I would absolutely love to hear them because I actually thought I might have avoided it because I'm nearly 10 months postpartum now and I just hadn't had it.

But maybe it's because Alf isn't really like breastfeeding as much in the day. So I'm actually recording this and it's 5 p.m. and he has not breastfed since 8 a.m this morning which is practically unheard of so in some respects I feel amazing for it because I'm like freedom it just allows me to get more done obviously I need to have somebody here to help um so in today's case Tommy's mum is kindly downstairs while I'm doing this but I feel less attached to him but not in a in a way that I'm like wow I might be able to start seeing friends again more and doing things a little bit better and it's exciting because he's growing up but in the other sense I feel a bit like oh no this like beautiful journey that I've I've loved is like feels like it's starting to come to an end.

Although at nighttime, I'm not going to lie, he is still an absolute boob monster. For anyone who is breastfeeding or actually bottle feeding, do you find that your babies feed less overnight? Because I feel like the nighttime is meant to be the period when your boobs fill up. But Alf is pretty much like, obviously we're still co-sleeping but he is just constantly on my boob on a good night I'd say he feeds three times but I think

my boobs are also his dummy and I've tried dummies but they're not working but anyway I digress from the hair side of it so with hair I don't know if it's because I'm not breastfeeding in the day now that my hormones are starting to change. And so my hair is like, okay, now we can leave, see ya. But I do feel a little bit stressed about it. And I know for a fact that my friend and my guest today also went through this. I know you're going to love my guest today. She is someone I consider a friend, but also a model, a presenter, mummy to her son, Cooper. She is known on Instagram as the Georgia Edit, where she posts amazing content about parenting, women's health, fitness, beauty, lifestyle. And the reason I love her account so much is because she is very good at documenting the real honest truth

of parenting the highs and the lows welcome Georgia Jones oh that was that was possibly the best intro I think I've ever had is it oh I love that that was so nice I was like oh is that me she's talking about I always find when someone else introduces you, it's a little bit like having a hype man. Like I wish our affections in the mirror did the same. I know. Cause if someone ever says to me, so what, what, what, how would you describe like what you do? I would never describe it like that, but hearing it was really nice. I get so awkward when people ask me what I do. So I've just kind of started to become friends with some of the mums from swimming club and they were talking about like maternity leave and going back to work.

And then they were like, oh, when are you going back? And I was like, oh, I kind of already, I'm already working, but I'm really lucky. Like, you know, I've kind of never had to leave work. And then they were like, oh, so what do you do? Which is obviously a really normal question and I was like that but I like going to panic mode because I don't know what to say and then I'm like oh I'm like a presenter and I and I DJ but I'm not really DJing at the moment and um yeah and I do bits on Instagram and um I guess I'm a broadcaster and then in my head I'm like why are you making this like really uncomfortable for everyone?

I do exactly the same thing. I mean, if ever I crack, I'm a model into it. I'm like, and normally if I'm at the nursery gates, I've got my hair scraped back, no makeup on. I've like just done whatever. And I'm like, yeah, I am a model. But I know I don't look like one right now, but I am one. I found that I've started doing that a lot on social media and someone pulled me up on it in a nice way the other day.

One of my followers was like, I've noticed that you keep being like overly apologetic because I said, oh, like, sorry for doing a pouty face. And they were like, you don't have to be sorry. Yeah, you're allowed to do a pouty face if you want to do a pouty face. That's like me with selfies. Like I've started allowed to do a pouty face if you want to do a pouty face. That's like me with selfies. Like I've started trying to do them again, but after becoming a mum,

kind of thought that I shouldn't be doing them and I don't really know why. But I was like, if I'm a mum and I'm posting a picture where I think I look nice, people are going to be like, oh, she's a bit of an idiot. But before it didn't even bother me. I didn't even really think about it.

But it's so weird how like your mindset changes. Do you think it's because of like what you feel like a mom should be or should be doing? Yeah, maybe. And if I'm there, you know, like posting pictures when I've maybe put my makeup on and stuff, people are going to be like, oh, well, look at you having time to put your makeup on.

I'm like, well, you know, my job requires me sometimes to like have my makeup done or stuff, people are going to be like, well, lucky you having time to put your makeup on. I'm like, well, you know, my job requires me sometimes to like have my makeup done or like, you know, if I'm going to an event or putting my makeup on to shoot content, for instance, you know. But also, let's be honest, the days, like we don't all, I don't care who you are and we don't all get to do our makeup and hair and stuff every day. And not that we need to or want to every day day but the days that we manage to get a blow dry or whether that's like a DIY one

at home or even better in a salon not that I've done that since lockdown and get our makeup done like you just feel like you've got your shit together a little bit more at least I did you find that it's just a treat as well you're oh, I want to show this to the world. Like how rare is it to look like this? So I'm going to show everyone. I'm going to have a little show off. Why not? My current thing with selfies is I don't think it's becoming a mum thing, but I think it's an age thing. And I think it's because I don't necessarily like what I see back in the reflection because I am struggling with age. And I think because I'm breast necessarily like what I see back in the reflection because I am struggling with age and I think because I'm breastfeeding so even if I wanted to change my appearance

I can't anyway yeah and I and I'd love to be I've always said you know when I was younger I'm like I'm gonna be one of those people who grows out gracefully but now that I'm kind of I don't think I'm old I'm 34 so if you'd have asked me when I was 25, I would have thought that was ancient. But now I'm like, do you know what? We live hopefully to where 100. I think the UK average life span for a woman is 85, 86. So by all accounts, we're not even halfway through.

So we're very young. But being 30 plus, I was like, oh, I'm starting to notice like fine lines and wrinkles and pores. And sometimes even when I do my makeup, I'm like, what is this? Why is my phone lying to me? Oh my gosh, I know. Well, do you know what? The more makeup I put on, it seems the older I look because it sits in your creases. Yeah. It's funny, isn't it? Because I feel like when I was younger, I loved wearing foundation. And now I love how we're not even talking about children at all yet.

A good light CC cream is definitely, especially because I don't know how Cooper is sleeping or how he slept as a baby, but sleep for me is not the one. And it just gets all caked up in your tired eyes. Did you find that becoming a mum made you more not necessarily insecure but did it make you think a bit more about your appearance because of all the changes that you went through it was really weird actually I'm probably more insecure of my body now than I was when I was like breastfeeding for instance because I think after I'd had Cooper I think I was just like I was just in awe of my body I was just like I can't believe what I've just done like that's ridiculous like what I've just done pushed a human out so I was

just kind of like amazed by myself whereas now I'm just in this constant state of, I'm not working out like I like to. Like I work out because it's amazing for my mental health. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel fit. It makes me feel healthy. I like the feeling of being toned, which for some reason there's a taboo about that as well.

But you know, that's just how I like my body to be. It's always been that way. And I'm not doing that moment because I haven't got time I'm eating crap because I haven't got time I'm not getting as much sleep so I've got bags under my eyes I look tired I'm not drinking enough water so like my skin's like just dehydrated from the inside out so I think now I'm more conscious of the way I look than when I first had him. It's really interesting, isn't it? Because I feel like I'm going through this phase at the moment. Number one, where I look back at my pre-pregnancy self and I'm like, wow, I looked amazing. But I have to remind myself that I didn't feel it at the time.

And that's what reminds me that it's actually not about what our bodies look like because it's about our mindset. Because if we, it's like, I look at my body from when I, like a few years ago before Alf was on the scene. And I remember feeling really insecure, not having much self-esteem, thinking like, I wish I was the type of person that could get away with wearing crop tops. And now I look back and if I could go and tell my youngest, I'd be like, girl, put those crop tops on. You look amazing. Do not settle for shit from men. Like you are a fucking goddess. Like you strut your stuff. But I didn't feel it then. And I think we can all get a bit fascinated, I think, especially in the early throes of new mum life of like being like

oh will I get my body back and number one like our body obviously never went anywhere and number two I mean it is going to change but we'll also look back in five ten years and be like god what were we worried about now so I feel like I want my future self to come back and be like girl strut your stuff yeah honestly actually like like, even now I do it, maybe like, like I'll have a, you know, sometimes if I want to find an old picture for a post I've got to do or something like that, even now, if I scroll back to like three months ago and I'll find these pictures,

I'm like, why on earth didn't I post that picture? And I know why I didn't, because at the time I didn't like it of myself and I was like what is wrong with me why do you like and I honestly think a huge amount of women female population are exactly the same at the time you do not appreciate how amazing you are and how great you look how like amazing that outfit was and you know how fabulous your makeup look that day how beautiful your body is like and all this stuff and you just don't appreciate it at the time and every time I see a picture of myself from like the past whether it be like a month ago or five years ago I think to myself I need to start reconditioning my brain to appreciate every

single moment because every single moment you do look good in that given moment and you're constantly changing like you you never stay the same I'm nodding along because I have it where I think I look like horrible and then I look back even a month ago I'm like I look really good then and so why can't I just believe that? And I feel like all we've done is talk about the way we look. But I do feel like, yeah, I wonder if that is a thing that we all have. Like, why can't we appreciate how we look here and now? I think that's it. I think we just don't.

There's something in our brains. We're all conditioned to what I guess that is like the beauty industry the diet industry we're all like so conditioned to want to be a certain way and also think that happiness is in changing our appearance or whatever it is but I think it's going back to what you said earlier it for me it's if I eat well it's for me it doesn't really have anything to do with how my body looks but it's like the nourishment drinking drinking water. That is like the number one thing, isn't it? I think I'm a bit like you that I went through pregnancy and I actually really enjoyed the changes of pregnancy. I didn't enjoy so much pelvic girdle pain and not being able to walk

and not being able to turn over in bed, but I loved seeing my body. And I felt seeing my body and I felt like my body was made of magic just watching this thing grow in me. And then even like the beginning of postnatal, I was just in awe. I was like, I will never hate you again because you've just done this amazing thing. And obviously bodies are amazing. They keep us alive and they let us climb mountains and kiss people and you know all those amazing things that we would not be able to do if we didn't have a body and also we'd look really weird if we didn't have a body but do you know what I mean but it's like I feel like then you get past I've just hit the like that time now that Al's been out of me longer than he was in me and it's almost like at

what stage have I no longer got a postnatal body or do I always have a postnatal body and is this at the beginning I was like oh it's changing it's changing it's changing and now I'm like is this just my body now or is this yeah I do think I think your body's always going to be a little bit different because I don't think you're kind of like your hips or you know your boobs they're never going to be the same like mine is certainly not the same everything loses its its form a little bit I'd say but it's just a new body and you've just it sometimes just takes a while to get used to it that's the thing I don't feel like it's necessary that I love or hate my body more or less than I did beforehand it's more than if it feels like someone else's body it's a different body and It's more than if it feels like someone else's body.

It's a different body. And that's quite confusing. Did you feel like that? Yeah. Do you know, actually, some of your posts, I've really resonated with the ones, some of the ones where you're talking about your boobs. Because when I was pregnant, my boobs went absolutely,

well, I mean, for me, enormous. Because I've pregnant my boobs went absolutely well I mean for me enormous because I've never had boobs and it felt so alien to me and I suddenly realized what all my friends with big boobs were talking about when they said they felt they didn't like getting their cleavage out all the time because people would stare and I remember I always used to say to them oh my god get it out like your boobs are amazing like if I had big boobs I'd get them out all the time and then I remember when I finally got them when I was pregnant I was like oh my god this makes so much sense why you all felt like this like you know that men stare at your boobs because they do don't they they really do whereas I'd never had that issue before because it was basically a breastbone that went nipples and that was it that's so it's

so interesting isn't it and I don't know about you and I know it's ironic because we're talking a lot about bodies and image now but there's something about having a baby that I feel like there's more scrutiny and pressure on the way you look than I feel like there ever has been before. And like I said, I know that that's ironic because it's what we're talking about now, but it's, I feel like, I mean, I know that we, me and you've spoken about this in the past that the moment the baby's out, it's like people become fascinated with your, The moment the baby's out, it's like people become fascinated with your, and I hate this expression, but baby weight,

which is essentially what's left from your body of doing this amazing, miraculous thing. And like some people lose, like lose the weight. I hate even saying that, that phrase, but lose it very quickly. People like Emily Ratajkowski, who then get really trolled and told that they're irresponsible and not good role models. And then other people would find it harder to shift or maybe not want to shift it or be left with like tummy gaps and scarring and prolapses and all of those things. And also I feel like people really celebrate and shame weight loss way more than before you have a baby

did you find did you find that and what's your experience with that yeah 100% you know I can't remember who I was talking to about this but I was saying to someone I think it was another mummy influencer about the how of the fact because I after having Cooper I did go back to kind of like my I mean I definitely didn't go back to exactly what I looked like before but I wasn't far off quite quickly not because I was doing anything like you know like you know limiting what I was eating or anything like that I think it was purely, Cooper was sapping every ounce of anything out of me. But I felt bad for even posting any part of my body online because I felt like everyone was like, oh, well, it's because I got a lot of,

well, it's all right for you pinging back. It's all right for you. You've got a great figure. What about us mums that, you know, haven't pinged back? And I was like like but it's not my fault it's not my fault my body looks a certain way and now it's kind of I'm being shamed for the way my body's looking after having a baby and it really really got me down and I definitely started kind of like posting less of my body because I was actually ashamed.

I was ashamed that I was still a size eight and I was ashamed that I didn't have, you know, stretch marks, for instance. No one in my family do. It's just is what it is. We just don't have stretch marks. But it was all these things and and the thing was nobody said how's your pelvic floor though have you got a prolapse it was all just well you look great so it's all right for you and I was like well actually I wet myself whenever I jump um I've got a prolapse I have literally zero pelvic floor and my boobs are like foreign objects on my body but nobody nobody asks you that i talk about this a lot i feel so passionately that like any form of body shaming it's like the kind of expression real women as if like women who are naturally really slight or athletic aren't real

and that kind of i think that's not promoting body confidence. That's actually just shaming another type of body. But also to reduce the only time I ever had any talk about postnatal and the postnatal journey was in relation to weight. So are you going to bounce back? Do you want to bounce back? How's your weight? Are you going to lose the baby weight? And it was all about weight loss. So then when I was going through fecal incontinence incontinence piles prolapse to be honest like my weight was the last thing on my mind um I do struggle with the size of my boobs because they were big beforehand and now I'm trying to get used to life with boobs five times bigger and that is something that maybe I'll

consider correcting but obviously there's no point in thinking about it until I stop breastfeeding. And I feel like there's a whole other story and conversation and decision for another time. But there is so much more to the postnatal journey than the way in which we look and how our body weighs. And like you said, I feel like if I posted pictures of my body before it was it was kind of like for me there was less like comparison and judgment whereas I feel like now that I'm a mom it's very much I think like oh is my body like too big is it not big enough is it this isn't that because I'm so worried about being considered irresponsible but actually the fact that anyone has to worry

about how their own body looks and whether that is through healthy lifestyle and exercise or whether that is through, you know, I've got stretch marks and I actually love them. And I hate the fact they're always considered a flaw because I actually see it as a tattoo from mother nature because everybody gets tattoos to mark different

parts of their journey and i have stretch marks one from when i had a lump when i was 15 that ended up not being cancerous but it was you know like a big part of my journey and then i've got stretch marks on my bum and my hips from alf and i was like how nice is that my body grew a human and i get these little like stripes to kind of commemorate this time. And I hate the fact that it's even like a celebration if someone doesn't have stretch marks. So I get people messaging being like, how did you get away with stretch marks? And this whole thing, it's still kind of like weaponizing and judging women for their bodies. And also presuming that weight loss is always positive.

When actually I lost loads of weight recently because I had COVID and obviously I was breastfeeding through it. I was really ill. Alf was really ill. And I've actually dropped down to the size that I was before I was pregnant. But it's not healthy because I was ill. And to be congratulated on that, I find it a bit eerie. It is. because I was ill and to be congratulated on that I find it a bit eerie it is I talked to someone recently about that of when you get the praise for losing weight not necessarily in the most

health like the healthiest way not that you were trying but other people that are then when you're congratulated it feeds you it feeds into it's like my God, they've said I've done really well. They said I look amazing. I'm going to carry this on. So I can see why it's a really, really easy downward spiral for some people. Yeah. And do you know what? I saw it recently. I think it was Keisha, who's an ex-Sugar Babe, had gone to Leanne from Little Mix's 30th birthday. And she put a tweet up with a picture of Leanne saying wow doesn't she look amazing which she did doesn't she look amazing snapped back after twin already snapped back just after giving birth to twins and I was like that's a really weird thing because

like you can say someone looks amazing and it doesn't have to reference their weight but it's almost like how like she might be like you said she might be going through incontinence or piles or prolapse or insomnia or depression or all of these things and so to make someone to kind of like worship them for their size and it also plays into the fact that for people like me who didn't snap back straight away it's like so am I not do I not look amazing or am I not worthy of praise because I didn't I didn't snap I mean I had my I think I don't even think I wore top for the first like month or two of pregnancy I did not I was not a glamorous new mom oh god I wasn't I was leaking from everywhere I was literally just like I got constantly just everywhere was just wet I was just like I just can't move from this bed

I'm a mess oh yeah how old is Cooper now Georgia Cooper's three and a half well just over three and a half but before in January which is mad oh that's amazing yeah so do you feel like you have been on a journey of self-image do you still feel like a new mom and a post do you still feel like you have a postnatal body yeah I do actually a little bit but I feel like it's more postnatal body because I've kind of not sorted the parenting side of things where my life is I mean my life's never going to go back to how it was because I now have a child but I've still even like three and a half years in I've not managed to kind of like sort my timings so that I can kind of like do everything that I want to do to make me feel like me and I

suppose that's sacrifice you've got to make isn isn't it? But, you know, like, for instance, exercise, which is one of my, like, it was one of my top things to make so I think yeah I do still feel like that because I haven't got my kind of everything I want to do in order and how I want it but then that might be the slight control freak in me with it all as well of like liking things a certain way and and it's never going to be that certain way again you know what it's actually like quite reassuring to me to feel like obviously I want you to have it all figured out and I want you to be able to like do the things that are important to you but to know that I'm like not alone in it because since I've since he was nine months I kind of felt like oh I should have it all figured out by now and actually it's really hard to like

figure out the child care and I feel really lucky that I've got Tommy's parents near and they will come like one day a week or sometimes on the weekend but I find it really hard even like not to resent Tommy sometimes oh massively so really because yeah of course because because for some reason still in this modern world it seems to fall on the women to be the the main caregiver when actually a lot of women have the exact same careers as the men but because because we're the mother, we're the ones that have to wash and clean and organize childcare. And if our diaries clash, we're normally the ones that have to sacrifice the going out or the event or the work commitment. And I don't quite know why that's still a thing. It's funny, isn't it?

Because I would say like, even in our decision to be parents, it was a very much 50-50 decision. And the agreement was like, yeah, 50-50. Tom's always been really, is paternal the word or is it maternal? Yeah, paternal. He's always loved kids and always really wanted kids

whereas I was much more of a cold-hearted bitch I was like I don't know if it's for me but anyway when when we decided to have Alf we were very much like 50 50 parenting and I think it really took me by surprise how kind of old-fashioned and gender the roles seem. And that's not a diss at Tommy because he actually is amazing and he always will do what he can, where he can, but it's more like even society, like the fact that, you know, Tom got two weeks paternity leave, which again, he's really lucky to even get, but I was like, but, but what about after those two weeks and the fact that yeah sometimes I've got work to do but I'll have to like arrange for whether it's Tommy's parents or like the nanny which will cost me money or you know whatever it is just to be able to get that stuff done whereas

like Tom can just like go up and work and it's kind of like a given that I'll look up look up I always say I'm I'm the free babysitter. Yeah. And then I don't know whether you do this and I know a lot of my friends do it and I certainly do it, is when they then are doing like something for you and the child,

well, which sounds ridiculous for me even saying that out loud, you go, oh, thank you. Or do you mind? Or could you do that? And then you almost feel like you owe them. And I'm like, why am I thanking, why am I thanking Danny for, you know,

taking Cooper up for a bath or, you know, taking him for a haircut or something? Cause Danny's, Danny's job too. And again, like you said, Danny is amazing. He's very hands-on dad. But when I first had Cooper, Danny went to, had to go back to work because he was filming the boys kids he had to go back five days later I was five days and he was got he was he was working non-stop from that point and I was literally like oh my like oh my god I'm just been thrown into this at the deep end on my own what the hell's going on you know and in those

early days when it's your first baby even something as simple as trying to get a glass of water whilst you're in the middle of breastfeeding is hard oh the days where you'd sit down to breastfeed and the remote control would be out of reach and you'd be like yeah or your phone or your water and you'd be like oh my god I'm literally gonna die at first if i don't get a glass of water right this second hello and welcome to a to z of men a brand new podcast that helps explain well men each week myself, Chris Brooks, and me, Scott Robinson, we take on a different letter of the alphabet. What? In

order? Yeah, in order. We will find a word that best describes men that starts with that letter. So it's basically like a guide? Like a guide, yeah, that's correct. Well, this will really help me explain myself to the wife. We tackle topics such as mental health, stereotypes, and stupid things us

men do don't forget sex oh and sex so join us each wednesday as we create the a to z of men you can find us wherever you get your podcast from including apple podcast spotify and a cast just search for a to z of men it's funny isn't it because i i do really think that like resentment between partners and obviously i can only speak for heterosexual couples is because that's like our experience which is why that's what we're talking about but it is it's funny because i do feel like the resentment is there and it's almost like like the fact that like, I don't know, like Tom could walk down the street with a pram

and literally people would like swoon and clear the way for him and tell him what an amazing dad he is because it's so nice to see a dad with a baby. And that might be the case. But then I feel like I go down the road with a pram and I literally like get thrown onto the pavement and totter that.

And if I go out, it's like, oh, who's looking after the baby and it's like his dad the other parent yeah do you think and it is hard not to like breed some form of resentment isn't it like because I wish I was you I would love to get just get my work done and not think about it but if you were to chat to any mum, if the other mum was being completely honest, I reckon at least 95% of other mums would say the exact same thing. It's just people don't like to always say it out loud

because they don't want you to think that you, like, hate your partner. Because it's not that. It's just you resent that they can do things that you can't. And you do definitely. I think you've spoken about this before, but you mourn your past life and you kind of resent the fact that their past life is still kind of there a bit, whereas yours is pretty much, I mean, it's there a little bit, but nowhere near as much as

the husband or the partner. It's funny, isn't it? And I think because of that, dads don't have that kind of like competitive or judgmental, like, I don't know, they don't seem so like caught up in things because they can literally go to work, come back, play with the kid. And whereas ours is, it's much more like consuming, like we lose and then we find our identity in some way. Tom keeps talking about wanting to learn golf and i'm like no if you think you get to work a week and then pick a sport where you would be out for the entire day of the weekend i was like it's not no no golf for you yeah danny plays golf and football so yeah i'd maybe like stay clear of the golf 100% that is a long spot you're like my one bit of advice is never let them play golf or even more than that cricket Danny's not a cricketer but I

know that match doesn't have an end time so like yeah definitely not avoid cricket that is so true shout out to anyone whose partners play cricket although I am looking forward to it I'm looking forward to the day that um Alf's like well presuming that he is into sport because he might not be but I'm looking forward to the day that he's into sport and Tom can just take him out for the week for the whole like day of the weekend and I get a self-care day we've literally just started that so however I've been going only because like it's really cute when it first starts so Cooper's just started football and I can't bear not to watch because it's adorable I mean it'll lose its shine in about a week but we're only about three weeks in and um also one of my one

of my best friends her little boy has started as well because um she's a single mum and it's actually that's a that's a really big thing is that classes like that so group classes like that if they're split parenting it it's very rare that they do they will let you do a week on week off so it's really hard for single parents to be able to do classes because you normally have to pay for the bulk of the class and you have to go every week you can't pay the amount and go every other week because that's that's the problem with single parents is if the child's at the dad's one weekend and the mum's the other weekend weekend classes are really hard to do if you have to book them in a you know in a in a bulk of

like 10 classes god I just take off my hats to any any single parents and especially yeah like doing it with shared custody which I guess is what it usually be because yeah I think I honestly think that you're all heroes because it a lot of people do stay in relationships that don't work and so to walk away and to then have all the like admin and the the extra stresses that come with being a single parent I think I think you're rock stars yeah oh absolutely like yeah my my best mate she's just doing the sterling job because trying to work as well at the same time and like you know support your child it's so full-on it's full-on at the

best of times even when you've got a you know a partner to do it with my friend dick funnily enough today and she's been on my podcast before she's an amazing episode about adoption she adopted a little girl and but she just sent me a video her daughter's gone out with um her friend uh literally just down the road to the to queue gardens and vick sent me a picture with hair dye in her hair at her desk and she was like the juggle is real just trying to get like done in like the short space of time but that's it that's it like I've been recently because Danny's been on tour I've been going home back to my mum and dad's in the north I there came a point where I was just like

because it's kind of been about three months of me doing well basically solo parenting for a lot of the time and it just got to the point where I was like I can't do this on my own anymore I need help and I fully waved my white flag and held my hands up and I said like no enough's enough now I can't I can't do it all on my own. I'm exhausted. I was exhausted because Cooper's not the best sleeper. And I just couldn't do it. I was trying to work. I was trying to look after him and don't get me wrong. He goes to nursery, but when he's at nursery, that is my only nugget of time to get all my work done. And like we've talked about before, haven't we? only nugget of time to get all my work done and like we've talked about before haven't we it's not a quick thing doing you're doing kind of creating content it can take all day just to shoot one

ad can't it yeah I mean the juggle is definitely real but I was so pleased when I saw that you went back to your parents and I think this is the thing for anyone you know whether we've got a partner or not like it is really hard and I think it's so important to ask for help because there are people that can that can help and I sometimes feel like I've always been bad at accepting that I need a bit of support or help and actually when you do like when Tommy's mum comes around it's just like such a game changer even to be able to like have a shower or have a nap or get my work done. So that's one thing off like my mental load or get some washing done or whatever it is.

I feel like we we have to like almost get over the feeling that people will think we're not coping because like most people will get it and most people will help. But a lot of people don't think to offer to help because they don't want to make you feel like I don't know to like disempower you or whatever yeah and a lot of the time I think we do power through and don't let people in and don't let them realize that we're actually struggling and having a bit of a hard time like and it's really really difficult to say help to say I need help it's it and once you've done it it's like a whole way it's lifted off shoulders but just that initial thing of saying actually do you know what I'm struggling and I need help it's just hard I think as well because we have to be like the rock for our kids so we forget that we are allowed to be we're allowed to not have it all pieced together I don't know yeah you're

allowed you're allowed to be vulnerable you're allowed to need a cuddle from your mummy too like that was my thing I went home and I just cried I just had a cry with my mum and just said I was like I just need my mummy I just want to be a little girl again and have a you know mummy cuddle and you make everything better and she did and dad and my dad as well my mum is just not a cuddler I think if I said to her I need to cuddle she'd give me one of those like awkward pats there you go yeah maybe like your best friend or so whoever's the cuddler whoever would give you a bit of comfort we've all got we've all got a cuddler whether it's you or not I know I force it on people COVID was horrendous for me because I was like what I can't cuddle you I know I still I always find like with COVID that I feel like I

was always really awkward with greetings anyway and now with COVID it's made it even awkward because I'm like do I handshake do Idle? Are you cuddling at the moment? And like yesterday, I bumped into my friend's mom and I gave her like a hug and a kiss in the cheek. And I was like, oh, God, sorry. Is that OK? Are you cuddling? And she was like, no, don't worry, I am. But she was like, you've just made this really awkward. I was like, that's what I do. Yes, I like to make things awkward. It's like when I saw you at that event, I didn't give you a choice. I just launched myself at you and cried oh I know I bumped into Georgia and um yeah I think you were just so happy to see like

another fellow mum could you ask me if I was okay that was the thing because I thought if I because I was I was I was on the brink of needing to go home at that point I thought to myself if I see anyone I know today and they ask me if I'm okay that's just it that's gonna be it you know and you know you you know you're on the brink of tears and then I saw you and I was like no I'm not fine it's so nice you know because like I know that you were like oh god sorry but I was like no it's so nice because it also makes me feel like I'm not alone and I think that's the thing when sometimes we say we're fine when we're not but actually the moment we open up like it actually gives you more connection to someone and yeah I don't know if I was struggling now I'd be like oh I'm gonna message Georgia because I know that you've been

through it whereas sometimes when we pretend to be fine people almost think we're fine so they don't even ask yeah yeah it's so true it's so true and if you've always been quite like a strong person or always been the one that's like always looked after everyone else people just assume that you are fine unless you give them some kind of inkling that you're not they do just assume you're fine we've I've actually just recently set up a whatsapp group with two of my friends but I think it's called something like you're never alone because I'd gone to see them and I basically kind of just gone, oh, I'm just having a hard time at the moment. So we created this group just to keep checking in on each other. Yeah. And it's really nice because now every kind of, you know, every few days it's like, how are we all? Are we all doing OK? Because we've all got babies of like different ages.

It's just nice. Nice to have that little bit of comfort. Definitely. And always good to open up. I love that we've all got babies of like different ages. It's just nice. It's nice to have that little bit of comfort. Definitely. And always good to open up. I love that we've covered like so much ground and none of it is what I wanted to talk to you about. I know. I'm so sorry. No, it's great. I love it.

But what I actually wanted to talk to you about is postpartum hair loss. I think I'm going through it. And I actually remember when I was pregnant and us having a conversation about it because you said that you really struggled with it yeah I did because I've always had really super thick hair and um when I was pregnant oh my goodness it was like a mane it was just so thick and then after I'd had Cooper oh my goodness I mean I think it was when I came to the end of breast stop of breastfeeding my hormones obviously altered and oh my goodness it was just coming out in the shower in absolute chunks like and it's so scary I think that I might

be I don't know if I'm coming to the end of my breastfeeding journey like Like I'm certainly not deliberately coming to the end and Alf definitely feeds through the night, but he doesn't really want the boob in the day. I love that I just call it the boob. The boob. There are two, but it's the boob. And I really noticed my hair starting to come out. Like you said, I washed my hair today. And then when I was like combing my hair starting to come out like you said I washed my hair today and then when I was like combing my hair after that the amount of hair that was coming out and so that's when I was like I need to speak to Georgia about this because I remember you said you struggled with it and it does seem a bit unfair that in your pregnancy you're like you get this lovely beautiful hair and then you have a baby and you're really overtired and you're doing your best and the hair's

like see ya yeah well I just felt like my body was just giving up on me I was like I've got prolapse I can't I keep working myself my hair's falling out my boobs are leaking I was like what is going on with my body I was like you'd think it would like you'd turn into a goddess to congratulate you you know you think you'd like have this gorgeous, glossy mane to be like, well done. You've done such a good job carrying that baby. But no, everything just falls apart. But what I will say about the hair loss is, number one, you're not actually. Well, this is this is kind of broad, but for for the majority of people you're not actually losing more hair than you would normally it's just during pregnancy you retain more hair than you would

normally so then when your hormones alter back more all that hair that you haven't shed starts coming out so it just seems like a hell of a lot like i got to the point where i was like if this keeps coming out i'm gonna be'm going to be bald soon. Like there's going to be big bald patches, but there wasn't and it does get better. And I promise it does slow down and it does eventually stop. But it is scary when it first happens because it's a lot of hair.

Did you like take anything or use anything that you found helped? I used a shampoo by Aveda I feel like it was called Invati I'll have to try and find out the name of it it begins with an I-N anyway um and honestly it was amazing absolutely amazing I did notice a really really big difference I'm just looking the Aveda one is called Invati. Invati. That's it. Yeah.

Really good. Really, really, yeah. You know what I think is actually quite good is I've carried on taking the, what are they called? Let me look. You know the Pregnicare supplements that you have in pregnancy? Yes. They also do breastfeeding ones and i mean i'm sure they're fine to take even if you're not breastfeeding but it's basically just like supplements but anyway they've got biotin in

and i have found that if i've forgotten to take them for a few days my hair does seem to like start to shed but then when i take them again it seems to stop so I would definitely recommend like keeping taking like your vitamins I did I carried on with the vitamins that the ones that were safe for when I was breastfeeding I carried on taking those for as long as they lasted because you know it's all good for you and yeah definitely some kind of like you know there's supplements that are meant to be good for kind of hair and hair growth so definitely yeah just do whatever I could because I was just like please don't all fall out if anyone listening has any tips if you've experienced like postpartum hair loss that then please please message I've got the email askmomsthewordpod at gmail.com or send a dm or when you leave a review

then you can always put comments there as well but I'd love to know I feel like this is something that so many of us worry about and yeah it can be really unfair that we have to go through it I'd rather almost go through it in pregnancy but I feel like hindsight's a great thing you probably wouldn't feel like that when you're pregnant yeah do you know I think as well though with things like that it's like anything that's like looks related anything that could at all come across as like vanity people don't talk about it enough because they're worried people are just going to think they're being vain when actually a woman's hair is a big part of them yeah it's true I actually snapped my hair a few years ago from over bleaching it and it really really like literally at the crown it was all snapped and

it took years anyone that's followed me for a while will know the hair journey that I've been on and so it I I was I think that's why I'm panicking so much now about like the potential of losing it because I kind of only just got it back and healthy. And that was one good thing of lockdown that it allowed me time for my hair to like breathe without having to get it like styled so much with work. It's so funny, you know, it's like we've lived like these little parallel lives because the exact same thing happened to me when I was like in the height of modelling. It got bleached and all dropped out. I had like a mullet basically. It's a scary thing when it happens, but yeah, my one bit of advice to anyone that's going through

postpartum hair loss is just kind of try and ride the wave and just remember it's going to stop and it's not all your hair falling out. I love that. Georgia, we get different questions every week. And this week I've got a question through from Lucy and she said, I'm finding it hard to get my confidence back after giving birth to my baby girl. She's just about to turn eight months and I fall in love again every day with her and less with my own image and self. I've been living in leggings and hoodies for the last eight months and I want to feel better about myself. And I think getting out of the sweats will really help. I want to stay comfy. And a lot of my clothes aren't fitting as I would like. Do you have any clothes suggestions that are comfy,

but don't look like I've just thrown something on? Oh, I mean, always a dress, always a dress with some form of like elasticated waist, nothing that's like requires a waist belt that's going to cut you in half. Do not wear wear do not wear tight fitting jeans like honestly since having a baby tight fitting jeans are just like the beard of my life they're just so uncomfortable anything that's kind of like nice flow like the so you wear a lot of gorgeous kind of um you know like midi dresses I love this because you look and just throw them on but they look like yeah effort and you can wear them with trainers you can wear them with boots you can wear them with heels like they're very

like throw it on and you feel great yeah exactly and then like you can dress them down with like a jumper over the top or underneath or you can dress them up with like a blazer and like you know like heels so I think they're just like such a key part to a mum that wants to feel comfortable but also wants to look good and also you know it does take a while to get your confidence back it really it really can but she just needs to remember to just start doing things that she knows makes her feel good and I'm the world's biggest hypocrite there because like I'm like well I really need to do exercise because it makes me feel good and I don't have time but if she does have time and she can do things that make her feel good even if it's just having a bath or painting her nails on

a night or like calling a friend I like to take my friend for his afternoon nap because then I know that I get time with my hands where I can like text friends or ring a friend in the pram. And I feel like if he naps in the house, I end up just faffing. Whereas if I'm out, I'm getting a bit of exercise because I'm out and I'm out of like the four walls. But I'm also going to match up with people. That's my little thing. I think that's why mums are so good at multitasking, because you have to. That's why you always see mums on their phones on the with the prep it's amazing how much you judge mums before you're a mum and then once you

become a mum you're literally like I can totally understand why you're on your phone I can understand why they're on their ipad I can understand all the reasons mum do mums do things that you would previously judge them for. Honestly, hats off to any parents not giving their kids iPads because we have songs on all, not all the time, but long journeys in a restaurant, it makes everyone happy. And sometimes I'm like, people judge, but actually, would they prefer my child to be listening and quietly watching something or would they prefer like absolute mayhem so yeah I can't judge what we don't know and just to finish off your question Lucy I would also say that any clothes that don't fit put them in a box like even if you're not

ready to let like to get rid of them because I feel like your bodies do like naturally change for the first like obviously you're eight months but my bones are definitely still moving but put them in a box because there's nothing that has a bigger impact on your self-esteem than waking up every day and looking at clothes that are too small for you so put them in a box and get some nice ones dresses are really good I actually love um M&S do these like cashmere attracts cashmere tracksuit it sounds quite bougie and it is quite bougie but they're just like so comfortable and i wear them year after year they last like so well and that's what i'm living in now as well i've seen that on your

instagram there it's very nice i know i think i might get myself one of those no they're great anyway i'm gonna let you go you might even get bit of time to do some exercise after all of that. But I really loved today's chat, given that we've covered a lot of topics that I did not expect. We have. Oh, thank you so much for having me. It's been lovely to just natter. I've loved it.

And don't forget, if you've got a question that you want me and my guests to answer, get in touch by emailing askmumsthewordpod at gmail.com. You can even leave us a voicemail now on WhatsApp. So the number for that is 075-999-27537. Or of course you can leave it as a review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you so much, Georgia Jones, and I will see you same time, same place with a different episode next week.