Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - Keeping a Relationship Together - with Cara Delahoyde

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

What's it like when everyone has seen your relationship on reality TV? The importance of not 'playing the game'? And the importance of laughter in keeping a relationship together?Cara Delahoyde joins us this week who most people will know from winning Love Island Season 2. She discusses her relationship journey with Nathan, how having a baby was a sign, how it brought her relationship full circle and why laughter is one of the biggest things to have in a relationship.Do you have a question for us? Get in touch on our Whatsapp, that's 07599927537.---A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Mum's The Word, the parenting podcast. I'm Kelsey Parker and I'm your host for this week. Oh guys, this week has been so tough with Bodie. I just feel like since December he's changed so much. We all talk about terrible twos, but it's the three-nager. I don't know whether he's trying to go for the role of the domineering man in my life but he really is pushing all my buttons and I'm not gonna lie it's been a tough week. So this week my guest is Cara Delehoid. It's hard to believe it's been almost seven years since Cara was crowned Queen of Love Island. And all that time later, she and Nathan are very much still in love. Since Love Island, Cara has become a mum of two.

She's a successful businesswoman. And it's so lovely to have her here. She is my mum on a Saturday morning. She is my fellow dance mum. Welcome to the show, Cara. What's new? How are the kids? Yeah, great.

You know what my kids are like. No, they're good. They're off school today. No, they're not off school. They're at school. So I've had a day to myself. Yeah. So we've got Freddie, who is?

Six. And then Delilah slash Pinky. Who's three. off school they're at school so i've had a day to myself yeah so we've got freddie who is six and then delilah slash pinky who's three but no she doesn't like pinky now does she no why doesn't she like pinky i don't know so this is a whole thing obviously we had a because obviously they come to k2k yeah and she had a school those that don't know you know we're not plugging but you know if you want to join us on a saturday you can join the mum gang and then we got our jacket made didn't we have pinky on it yeah because we all call her pinky and then we got her jacket made didn't we with Pinky on it yeah because we all

call her Pinky and I don't know she's now I think she's a grown woman and she doesn't like to be called Pinky she wants to be called Delilah

she just cracks you up she's so funny she's just mad because at three like she has literally got her own mind I think he's her brother though because you know

what he's like he's very forward and like I don't know I think when they've got I think when girls have got an older brother they turn around you didn't have an older brother yeah no that's true but i feel like our kids are just very that's why they get on so well because they're so similar and that's why we get on because we're just like help yeah we have the wild kids together and it's so hard because when other parents and their

children aren't as wild as ours yeah but that's why we do stuff together. That's why they come to your dance school because you can handle it. Like you're like, as soon as I drop them off, I'm like, listen, this is not my responsibility no more. You listen to Miss Kelsey. Kelsey! And she will tell you off. So you and Nafe obviously met on such a big show.

Yeah. With millions and millions of people watching you. It's crazy, isn't it really? How was it being in there and then coming out together like i said you know don't you feel like you've lived together for six weeks you've been in this bubble you don't because well i was 26 he was 25 so that is an adult but it's still quite young really do you know what i mean like and we sort of come out we was like right we've lived together for six weeks we are sweet less moving together we know everything we're gonna be like posh and it's gonna be amazing we didn't all of us thought realistically in series two we was gonna come out

work for a couple of months and get some savings well series two well you had the series one and obviously they came out and they did well but like not no series two is like now it's yeah you go in and you know you're gonna come out it was like the lift off point series two like none of us had any expectations except for maybe doing a couple of pas and like just get some savings because a lot of us well everyone in there at the time had like normal jobs do you know what i mean so for us to go into show uh cara's normal jobs that she had i wouldn't say you had a normal i used to everyone knows about it i was showing you pictures yeah i used to work on like the telephone channels you know so i was doing the whole option number two ring me and i loved it i used to work in nightclubs in the west end i used to work seven nights a week i had no social life but i absolutely loved it i was working every single night sleeping all day

i had a great social life that's why people fell in love with you yes because you were so normal so real you were that couple next door that you know you see us all the time and you know yeah literally us now this is what you see is what you get with cara and nathan if they're gonna have a round they're doing it in front of you if cara's pissed off nathan's gonna know about it yeah if he's pissed off then we just laugh at him and they're like stop being an idiot but yeah so we went in there come out thought we knew everything thought you know we're so in love this is amazing you don't even factor i can't explain how much of a bubble you're in because you don't even factor okay you're gonna get out you've got your normal life you've got your friends like this relationship has got to fit into the life you had before your

friends and your family weren't really in the equation no because you're in a bubble so you're just together all the time you're in this perfect world there's no outside influences there's no one else putting their two pence in they're not going out to work every day that it's not a real it's not a real situation it's not real life no so we come out got a flat went to chickwell because i thought we was posh and then nath was doing pas all the time so he would be out pretty much every night of the week some nights doing two pas but back then that's how the boys earned their money and it is hard going doing the pas yeah and even just doing anything like you know even tom being in the band it was like it's all night time work you're doing a concert at night you don't see them and when you do see them they're tired

obviously for you it was like more intense more insane like mad things for me it was just it was in faces or sugar or something so i was doing all my work in the day looking at social media all day thinking i have no idea what i'm doing and I've got all this work to do and I have no idea. I had no directions in what I was doing. I got myself in another depressive hole where I would literally stay in bed for like two, three days and just lay there and be like, I can't get up, I can't do this.

I was on my own. Obviously I've got my family and things like that, but they was all far away. And also, I think really you've come out and you were living this normal life yeah and then it's blown up and you and Nathan are massive because you were massive when you came out and you've got are you saying we're not now well you were still massive in my eyes no I'm not saying that obviously you're completely different now but you wasn't expecting it now now you can tell new love islanders that come out they don't listen though

but but you've got the experience whereas you didn't know then you didn't know what this world was you came out and you're like oh i've been offered an okay deal i've been like this like like you don't even know about like getting terms and you know you know it's like now like if you get a job you want to look at what you've got to do and like specifications back then you didn't have a clue did you you just be like yes oh my god yeah no you've always been quite i'm not i'm always away with the theories so i got into this this depressive spiral i'd be in bed for three days he'd be going out coming home hungover and we was terrible we absolutely hated each other because he didn't he'd never been around anyone that had like depression

or anxiety or nothing so to him he was just looking at me and he was like what's the matter with you get out of bed like you're living this life what's the matter with you why are you so like I guess if you haven't seen it before it's really hard to and I totally accept that because you don't you're looking at someone who's telling you they don't know why they're upset. They don't know why they're anxious because you know what it's like. I always describe depression as a storm that you can, Stephen Fry said it. Stephen Fry and Tyson Fury are the only people I will listen to about depression because they're not trying to sell me nothing and they're not trying to do it for likes. And I cannot bear things for likes.

Can't stand it. But anyway, that's the subject for another day. So Stephen Fry says that depression, a depressive state is like a storm cloud that you can see it coming on the horizon and it's coming and the rain cloud's gonna come over you but it's gonna pass so that's how I always think about it and that's what I always say to people I'm like it's a cloud it's a storm it's gonna come it's gonna pass it's gonna go you gotta go through it and then i found out i was pregnant and that just went down so well really well um amazing so basically knife was in amsterdam with his friends for their birthday came back obviously been in amsterdam had you even discussed having a baby together well like for work wise not me and him but you know like when you like we are agent was like you need to get married you need to do this you need

to do that and we was all like we ain't getting engaged we ain't doing this we was very the problem is with me and Nafe we've never played the game we're not game players I can't do that like you're not a game player

do you know what I mean like me and Nafe could have come out we could have played the game and we could have been I don't know multi-millionaires like living in a big house but I can't play the game.

I'm not good at it. No, and my mum, as a kid, used to always say to me, just play the game. My mum does that all the time. Just play the game. I'm like, I can't. I physically cannot do it because it hurts my soul. Like, I need to...

And I just think, as well, you have to stay true to yourself. 100%. I can't tell my soul. It's ridiculous. Also, you and Nathan do have an amazing life together and you have an amazing house and you have two incredible children so whatever game you did play

was right for you and then I do sometimes think when you've got your bills coming in oh maybe I should have just played it a little bit and I'm joking so yeah I found out I was pregnant we was in a really bad place let me reiterate that

we was terrible we didn't even talk to each other we was living in this flat but we was like strangers we just hated each other you weren't talking but you're clearly doing something else we was clearly doing something else you know so we i found out i was pregnant and i said to you dinner at the time so my younger cousin he was like my brother he passed when he was 19 he had cancer there was a few different things that he had he had his leg amputated but he was like my brother because my mom and dad when i was younger they

moved abroad and i used to live with my aunt so he was like my younger brother he's the same age as my brother he's got the same birthday as my brother it is crazy so he had passed he was ill whilst i was in love island that's another reason why i found it quite hard because i didn't know like we knew that he was not great but we didn't i could never know sort of what stage or what was going on outside. So I found that really, really hard. Like, you know what that's like. So I was like, I've never had an accident. I'm terrible with contraception.

I've not been on contraception since I had my children because it messes me up bad. So we just play, pull out game and just hope that it works. So at the time, I'd never had any little accidents, never had no blips. And I was like like I feel like this is a sign I'm not like I'm not as deep in it as you with signs and things like that but I was like I feel like this is a sign I've never had an accident I've never had to worry about things

like that I've just lost someone so close to me and now I'm pregnant if you like we don't have to be together like if you don't want to be involved this is you saying to nafe yeah i was like i can't get rid of this child it's like because i see this as a sign my family's just lost someone and i feel like i've been given an opportunity to not replace someone but to bring someone in to bring us a little bit of happiness and like i don't know i just found it really weird and in my head i was like what if he's a boy like what if someone's passed and then yeah and i just i just was like because he was a boy and then I had a boy and I was like I always look at Fred

and I'm like I don't know you know you just think like because he is he's so special Fred like I'm not just saying that he is you know what he's like

he is yeah one of a kind he really is and I think is that is that a sign I don't know

so the other day can I just tell everyone the other day at K2K he said we say can you say your name age age and interest in fact? Actually, Freddie's wasn't about you two.

But then he went, did you know my mum and dad met on Love Island? And I went, oh, what did they do on Love Island? And he went, oh, they were getting filmed and they were snogging each other. What did he say afterwards? He went, you go on Love Island and you get married, then you get pregnant. Yes. That's it. Done deal.

Okay, cool. So if that's... But her daughter interest in fact was that you she poos on the toilet i went wow no she's only done it three times she will not poo on the toilet and i can't i've tried everything i see a tiktok the other day and it was like get the kids to blow into you know like a cup with a straw yeah and blow bubbles because it helps to like whilst they're pooing yeah like whilst they're sitting on the toilet so you think if you go yeah it sort of lets it all out right we're diversing to sorry poo now right yeah so we split up i moved back to kent because i love kent and i'm sorry i will always be a kent girl i can't help it kent i moved back to kent rented um a little two-bedroom house set up a nursery, everything.

Me and him did not talk for, I would say, six months. When I say we didn't talk, I mean like he would come to every appointment. He was there for everything that I needed with the baby. But we had no contact beyond that. I didn't want to know what he was doing. He didn't want to know what I was doing. So you split up? Yeah, yeah. We weren't together.

Officially, we was not together. I was pregnant. He was going to be involved and how long did you split up before you found out you're pregnant we split up because i found out i was pregnant oh okay because it all just went so mental and i can imagine nathan absolutely losing his head was like and and i i can't understand what he was saying he was like we can't have this baby we hate each other like what sort of world are we bringing this baby into when me and you can't even stand each other so he did have his reasons it's not like he was just like i can't be a dad

oh no and he says now that freddie's the best thing that ever happened to him because if he hadn't have had fred he god knows where he would have been because we never would have got back together no it would have sort of been done wouldn't it yeah 100 and i'd be in this series now but that wasn't meant to be you're meant to be together and i said to you that break was the best thing that ever happened to us and in my mind i was always like do you know what never slag him off never ever slag him off because he's the father of my child if we become friends in like five ten years time whatever i'm gonna look like a complete idiot and i do feel like people do that in breakups that they don't do it run the person down don't

that's still the father of your child and your child is still like i just i just don't get it unless they've really but also then all your family then become like yeah they don't like they dislike that person they've got reasons like yeah unless they're really terrible's happened and they've been like abusive or something like that then okay that's a total different circumstance but if you've literally just split up because you didn't like each other and you weren't getting on. Yeah. Like, grow up, man.

Yeah, just don't say anything. I went on this morning and they was like, how is everything, Nathan? Amazing. He's so supportive. He's the best dad. You know, we talk every day. Blah, blah, blah.

I was like, yeah, I'm not. Why would you do that? No, yeah. You've done the right thing. Yeah. And I'm still, even when I tell people about what happened, I'm not. Why would you do that? No, yeah. You've done the right thing. Yeah, and I'm still, even when I tell people about what happened, I'm very even with it. I understand why he felt like that. We was in a bad place because this was happening.

We'd come out of a show. It's not a normal situation for any person. No. Neither of us was in a good space. He wasn't in a good space. I wasn't in a good space. And I don't think you're prepared. You guys definitely wasn't prepared for the fame that you had. the guys that are coming out now they're more prepared and i feel

like the channel's more prepared yeah and the producers and everyone's more prepared to go do you know what you're gonna go on this and it's gonna change your life but then i don't know what more they can do the only thing i think when we was in that they could have done more was financially give you more advice because you go from earning... Like, I was earning £90 a night dancing in clubs. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's still all right. And then you go to earning more money

and you don't understand because schools don't teach you about tax, that, national insurance, pensions. They don't teach you any of that. But I think now they do do that. Once they come out, they say. Yeah, I think they obviously don't... you any of that. But I think now they do do that. Once they come out, they say. Yeah, I think they obviously don't. You're going to have a tax bill. Yeah, so make sure you save your money because we live in England.

Hi all, it's TV's Gail Porter here. I am so excited to tell you that I am joining the Paranormal Activity family and will be hosting a number of live podcast recordings across the UK. The first is on the 6th of March at London's haunted Richmond Theatre. Expect terrifying tales, audience interaction and hopefully a spirit or two. I can't wait for you to join me and to hear your own paranormal experiences you can find tickets at www.paranormalpod.co.uk so you were pregnant nathan's you're not together no how did you get back together

i told this to Kelsey's mum as well this is how we're very open people you're going to tell everyone now I don't think you need to worry about just telling my mum we're all friends I'm your friend we're all friends when I had Fred total difference to Delilah

I don't know if you found your different with a boy and a girl with Fred I needed an itch to scratch, you know? I really needed a pull. You were horny. Yeah, I didn't say that. You said that. Anyway, I really...

I was quite like... I was very horny when I was pregnant. Right. With both. See, I wasn't with Delilah, but I don't know. I had preeclampsia and we didn't know. But I really needed it with Fred really bad. And I was like, I'm pregnant.

At the time, I was right in the public eye like i couldn't go and do anything anyone else not that i wanted to but like could you imagine if me and nathan split up and then i got spotted with an avagiza pregnant or like and i could think of nothing worse i was in such a bad place you loved nathan always loved him but we just both know that we couldn't at the time we couldn't be together neither of us was in the right space it was not good for us we was toxic so we went for the scan as i said he used to come to all the scans and we used to sit there not even look at each other look at the screen and just be like like trying to be really platypus at the time he didn't drive so we used to have to get someone

to drop him all the way down to ken wait outside then driving back which is jokes poor little knife yeah now we say that not at the time i was like we went to the scan at 20 weeks to find out if it was a girl or a boy and i said to him i was like listen i know we hate each other i know you hate me i know i hate you but please can you do me a favor and just just one time just do it with me one time please just scratch that itch and just because i'm really desperate and you're the father of my child and i can't go with no one else please and we did and then we both realized like this is ridiculous it must have been good do you know what i mean like it turned the whole relationship around i bet you it was like really passionate must have been and then

yeah we basically got back together in secret but we didn't tell my family his family we didn't want to tell anyone because did you tell management Did you tell management? I can't remember because we was with the same manager. We was with, yeah, I don't know. I can't actually remember that but yeah,

we did get back together but we didn't tell anyone for absolutely ages and then we slowly like, you know, when you start telling like family, people in the family, like cousins and that

that you like trust but you can't tell like aunts or like mums because that's a bit serious but you can tell people when they're... You're like telling your cousin but like don't tell mum. Yeah, don't say nothing that's a bit serious but you can tell people when they're you're like telling your cousin but like don't tell mum

that's what I would say to my cousin I go don't tell mum or Julie but and then I'll tell her what the thing is

yeah but I get that I do get that but yeah and then we finally got back together and I think I even done a pregnancy shoot with her

I done a couple of pregnancy shoots with her and we was together but we was like no we can't tell anyone yet. And then we got back together. Oh, it was the best thing. It was the best thing, honestly.

And sometimes you need that break. Like me and Tom had a break. No one even knew when we first got together. No one even knew about me. How old was you when you got together? You was young. I was 19. So young, innit?

But again, we were just like, Tom obviously got into this band and I'd met him in a nightclub and he said to me, oh, I'm in a band. Do you know what I really want to watch? I've been listening to a podcast and they review like old TV shows from E and I really want to watch that programme.

Yeah, you should watch The One We Love. Are you on it? Yeah. I need to watch it. I've got to find it. And I was listening to it thinking the other day. I was the cool girlfriend. Yeah, mate, I really want to watch Kills on this programme.

I'm like, so, well, I guess it's just me. What you see is what you get. I didn't give a shit. I was in America living the Yeah, mate, I really want to watch Kells on this programme. Well, I guess it's just me. What you see is what you get. I didn't give a shit. I was in America, living the life with my boyfriend at the time. What an experience, though. They used to try and stir up so much drama, but the boys went to Vegas, so Tom had to come in and be like,

oh, I'm going to Vegas. And I was like, oh, okay. Obviously, I had to act like I was a bit gutted. I can't remember if I did act if I was gutted. I was like, happy days. My best friend, Rufan, lived in Like, obviously I had to act like I was a bit gutted. I can't remember if I did act if I was gutted. I was like, happy days. Like, my best friend, Rufan, lived in America, like in LA. So I was like, I'm going to spend the weekend with Ruf. Bye-bye.

Have fun. Bye. But I think me and Tom were so good at that. But yeah, we had a massive break. We had six songs. And it's good sometimes, isn't it? And he needed it. Because when he got into that band, you're thrust into something.

How old was he when he got into the band? He was 21 21 turning 22 got into this band i'm in a band i've not got a name then he's got girls throwing themselves and he thought in his head that he needed to go and do the deed with everyone and i was like go and do that get that out of your system and then he then he realized that's what they do that i'm the best thing ever. 100%. How do your kids find that you're doing social media for a living? What do they say?

To them, it's just normal. I suppose with Ray and Bo, it's so weird. And sometimes I'm so fortunate for everything it brings. I'm so fortunate that I have been able to do a job where I have been able to stay at home with my kids. Even though Nath's gone back to work and done different things like same with you your work majority revolves around that you can spend time with your kids and see them grow up and take them to school and go to like the plays and you've not got to worry about anything but sometimes I do think

it's ruined them a little bit I'm not joking yeah we both talk about this together, that our kids get so much that... And it's so hard in your head to justify it because it's work. I mean, over Christmas, they turn into horrors. By the time I'd got on holiday with them, we needed to go away, but they'd been to so many events. Yeah.

And it's not their fault. No. It isn't actually their fault. And people are probably listening thinking, are you mental? Like, what are you moaning about? It must be so hard, but it's like they get everything,

but you want them to be grateful. And the thing is what me and Nathan worked at, they are so young. Like our kids are basically exactly the same ages. It's not their fault that they don't understand to appreciate everything they get because of their age. Like they don't understand. Like I say to Fred, this is not normal.

Like this life is not normal. It may not last forever. Like this is not normal. But how do you say that to a six year old they don't they don't know what that means okay mum

chill out I always say to Aurelia what do you go and tell the teacher at school that I actually do for a living what's she saying she goes oh I don't really know

I'm like I wonder what she actually tells people I think Fred just goes mum dabbs in Love Island but he's no idea what it is but he just says dabbs in Love Island

no they snog you snog when you're in Love Island oh sorry I snog and get married and get pregnant. Yeah. It did happen. It did. He's right what you're saying.

Yeah. I think what we do... Doesn't happen for them all though in Love Island, Fred. But it is just incredible that you and obviously... You and obviously... You and Nafe have lasted and it's incredible. He's just a good guy though, isn't he? Like, how could I...

But it is... This is why I believe in the soul journey. You were meant to go on that show and you were meant He's just a good guy though, isn't he? Like, how could I... But it is... This is why I believe in the soul journey. I think you were meant to go on that show and you were meant to meet him. You said you would never have set forward for someone like Nathan. Did you set forward? No, I set forward for Nathan,

not because of his looks, because his looks was... If you look at any of my exes, he was not... Didn't look like anyone I'd gone out with before. But like I said to you, I felt like he had a good heart. Like, he came out, he was a laugh and I thought, I'm going to have gone out with before. But like I said to you, I felt like he had a good heart. Like he came out, he was a laugh.

And I thought, I'm going to have a laugh with you. Even if these don't go nowhere, I will have fun with you and I'll feel safe with you. And you're still laughing now. We do. We laugh a lot. And I do think that is the key to a relationship because you're going to get old and be butters one day. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? But if we can still sit sit we sit there and we laugh at my stupid things and i see a thing that i've done it was like you know you found your soul mate or your one or something and it was basically like true love is being able to be your self around someone be stupid and not i can't remember the quote it was a really beautiful quote and i've just totally destroyed it that's what i've got to say about me and Tom, that he used to make me cry of laughter. Yeah. And likewise, like me and him, he actually enjoyed it.

Do you know when some people like it when you're taking the piss out of them? Yeah, we take the piss out of each other. We take the piss out of our kids. Like we were saying this the other day, I feel like we are not a serious family. Like you're not a serious family. Like with our kids, we banter our kids.

Not in a horrible way. No. I'm not going to leave them with lifelong trauma or something. no but i think they need to also toughen up a little bit toughen up and and my granddad used to do it to us and and make us like say things and he'd be like you've got to laugh laugh at yourself laugh yeah not in a horrible way but you know like we call pinky pinky and like she won't poo at mom so we call her poo bum and we're like oh come on you stink and she's like no i haven't like but we're like a little bit you know the thing at the moment is that oh i've not got no skiddies in my knickers and you're like oh okay cool well done so you've not pooed but you've not got no skids well done i love her she's just

so open and i hope she carries that with her forever oh and bode's her new boyfriend isn't he yeah he's not i don't think he's too impressed that he's the boyfriend at the moment. Why are you just running away with that? He's like, no, don't kiss me. Delilah was basically trying to kiss Bodhi on Saturday and he was like, do not kiss me. She did kiss him.

He prefers actually Freddie kissing him. Yeah, Freddie loves him. Freddie loves him as well, but Bodhi is that person. Everybody loves Bodhi. I think because he's so small like older kids love him they just come and kiss him on the head hug him want to pick him up it's just he must be so annoyed for his personality lately though he has become really assertive and he like he's like a proper

little man i don't know what's happened to him like i think at home and i think it's really hard i think he knows there's no obviously of course he knows his dad's not there there's no man of the house and i think he's trying to go for man of the house at three he's it's is that why he keeps taking his top off and that is tom tom used to yeah he said that having his top off doesn't want to wear a top and everything i say there's no reasoning with him that's what fred's like that i think well delilah's like it as well everything you say they argue about but for me it's like he wants unrealistic things yeah so say like i've got orange juice out for them he wants the apple juice of course because it's always just trying to push you that's not even that unrealistic it's

it's really i can't even explain to you and it's so hard at the moment and I am I'm struggling on my own with that because I've got no backup yeah I'm like there's no backup in this house it's just me

the thing is you've got a village but obviously in your house it's just me yeah so you have got it all and you don't want to call people all the time

no you want to be able to be like oh yeah mum can you come round and sort out Bodhi his attitude stinks and it matters our three yearyear-old he's free he was free and i think this is delilah how does a three-year-old make us feel

so rubbish like they're three years old how do they do that three and people talk about terrible twos but i i don't know about this worse three is so much worse and someone said it to me in the playground but aralia's always been really easy going and I can team talk her. With Bodhi, she's very grown up though, isn't she? There's no team talking.

Like, when he's decided something, that's it. Yeah, he's stubborn. He's so stubborn and he's not going back on it. I can't take him seriously though.

When he has that little touch and I'm like, ah. It's like little man syndrome. Leave him alone. Yeah. Oh. It is so hard and that's why i try and

share on my instagram how hard it is me and you do the same thing because we're not trying to show people it's sugar-coated like it doesn't matter what your situation is what your background is kids are hard work i would rather kids like ours and yours who are hard work but i've got great personalities yeah that think how much they make you laugh more than they make you cry oh yeah and even when he's been unrealistic i am secretly laughing so i'm like that is just unrealistic what did you say the other day in the car when you was being loud or say and he was like he went so me my mum my auntie they're really featured in this this please i'm gonna tell them on saturday they're coming in so uh we're all talking in the car and he went oh i can't stand this

i'll stop talking i can't i can't stand it i can't stand this because we're gossiping but that's what i'm saying and he goes he's really cut for it he's like i don't love you i don't love nanny i don't love you i don't love ray he'll go through the whole family tells me i don't love anyone or anything that's what he's saying at the moment. But it's crazy because he was this shy, timid little boy and now he's really come out of his shell and I want him to be confident. Of course.

But not rude. And I know he wouldn't go and carry on like that. He's not rude. Our kids aren't rude. Your children are not rude at all. They've got great manners and they've got great personalities. Our kids are strong-willed. Strong-willed. Strong-willed strong-willed strong

willed even when we went up north all all the uh my northern aunties their northern aunties were like they are so polite they're such polite kids and i was like yeah i was happy with that yeah i always think even if they're being awkward with us and they're being rude to us we're their mums they feel safe with us this is where they can i don't condone it. Before someone comes to me, I don't condone it. But I would rather my kids be polite and kind outside of the house and I get all the rubbish. Oh, well, Freddie is literally the kindest boy. But then he can be...

No, he's hard work. He is very hard work. But with him, he's just like... He's too clever. He's so clever. He's so kind. Manipulating. But he just loses his head yeah that's what it is he

gets so hyper that he literally loses his head and he can't bring himself down when he's on a high so you just have to roll with it and that's why i think obviously performing arts is perfect yeah for him we just gotta get his dancing better gotta get his dancing better but i think people want to see you know especially for me when I watch your Instagram, I just love how authentic you guys are and that you show the real you and how you all are. I just think that's it. But if I didn't do that, I wouldn't have no content to post

because I'm not, I can't stand there and do like, I'd love to. I'd love to have like a set up and be able to do like the get ready with me's, wouldn't you? I would love it. But it's just not, it's not really sick.

Cara, I'm really trying on, you know, my socials to do my whole hallway. Well, you've got your morning dances. Yep. And I've got my hallway stuff. Do you know why I always film in my hallway? Because it's the only thing that's actually tidy.

I've got nowhere like that. I've just got stuff everywhere. I've got nowhere to do stuff. So if I didn't post, and that's what normal houses are like. They are. I just, I can't be able to post things that are not normal because then I just feel like an idiot. And I think people now, they see the world of social media

and they see when people are not being themselves. Do you think? I can, can you? Don't be political here political if you see someone that you know is putting it on you know yeah i know when some people are putting on and i'm like oh maybe i need to put it on a little bit more i can't i actually can't no listen these stuff really happens to me i don't need to pretend it happened all right but i do think that we have outrageous kids so then that you know, they bring the content.

It puts a smile on people's faces. They bring the content. They do. And it puts a smile on a lot of people's faces. I like that. And I like you. And I'll see you tonight. And thank you for coming on Mum's The Word.

Thanks for having me. Do you have a question you want me and my guests to answer? Get in touch by emailing askmumstheordpod at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail on whatsapp our number is 07599927537 or leave it as a review on apple podcast make sure you hit the subscribe or follow button so you never miss an episode if you're listening on apple podcast then please leave us a review and a five-star rating it helps others find us and talking of spreading the news please tell another person about the podcast and help us reach more people so i've been kelsey parker

you can find me on being underscore kelsey on instagram where I'm just being me. We'll be back with another episode, same time, same place next week. Thanks for listening.