Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - MUM'S THE WORD BEST BITS: Kelsey Parker

Episode Date: August 25, 2024

On This Week's Mum's The Word:Kelsey Parker sits down and reflects on what her favourite moments has been from our guests across Season 2 of Mum's The WordWe'll Hear From:Cara DelahoydeChloe LewisAnd many more guestsGet In Contact With Us:Do you have a question for us? Get in touch on our Whatsapp, that's 07599927537 or email us at [e-mail] for Listening---A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Mum's The Word, the parenting podcast. I'm Kelsey Parker and welcome to my Best Bits from Season 2 of Mum's The Word. To kick things off, let's start with my chat with Jojo Fraser, the author of Mummy Jojo Uncut. Time for a mojo injection. She's also known as Scotland's Queen of Positivity and has been an advocate of smashing the stigma of mental health since 2014. I just feel like I sort of needed this conversation even about positivity today.

Like everything happens for a reason and I really, really believe that. Yeah, definitely. I remember someone reading the book. It was a neighbour actually and she said, Jojo, the universe brought me your book I believe I moved in next to you so I'd meet you and read the book and she'd made this massive decision life decision that blew me away and I was like are you sure like because you feel a bit you know if someone's been inspired by your work or whatever are you sure 100% the universe brought me your book and I was like okay if that's what you believe, amazing.

And it can be easy to not be, you know, I'm a very spiritual person and I've seen a lot of signs and stuff, but I believe, you know, it could be very easy to push that down if you've got people in your life that are like, it's just a coincidence or, you know, all that stuff. And I'm like, no, I'm going to believe it all anyway, even if you think I'm crazy. Have you always been spiritual? Well, I was raised in a Christian home. So we went to church every week.

But then when I got a bit older, I was like, I'm really free spirit. So certain things of dogma didn't suit me. You know, I started to be quite a rebel and ask a lot of questions. And then I just kind of moved from, say, structured religion as, you know, to more spirituality. And there's so many books that you can look at that show Christianity from a different light and showing, you know, Jesus came to teach a lot of stuff that is, you know, spiritual

and it's not about, he didn't come to set up a religion, you know, many believe this, obviously, many won't. And I started listening to podcasts like Eckhart Tolle and Oprah, and they would speak about religion versus spirituality and all that. And it helped me find my own path, do you know what I mean? Because it's a very personal thing, but I just think a lot of people hate religion because of trauma they may have had in a church or feeling like they have to change who they are and it should be about love, right? But I am 100% convinced that we are spiritual beings having a kind of human experience. You wouldn't believe some of the signs and

stuff that's happened that I know there's angels. I just love it. I'm so invested into this. Like since losing my partner, I was that person before that me and Tom were talking. I'd be like, once you die, you die, that's it Tom. And then he'd be like, there's so much more you need to believe. I'd be like, no. But then after he died, he literally sends me signs all the time to the point that I'm like, okay, okay, I know you're there. And obviously you don't think I'm crazy saying that, but once you see it, like he used to

always say this saying to me, once you see it, you can't unsee it. He was from Bolton, but it's so true because like now stuff that he shows me and shows me these signs, I'm like, I can't unsee this. You can't unsee it. And it can be hard if you are around the sceptics because they're so closed off. But when you know it's real in your heart, like I remember getting a strong message from an angel. And I said to the friend who was related to the angel, I said,

you have to look out for this song. And she went into the restaurant and it was playing. It was like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's an amazing world. I felt flashing lights over my bed. I felt an angel speak to me in my dreams and I knew a hundred percent what it was because I knew how it felt. It's a feeling, right? It's not a... Yeah. There's no mistaking that feeling. If an angel comes, I know. It doesn't happen loads and loads, but it's happened quite a few times in my life. Maybe about 10, 12 times in my life like that.

Really? I'm really open to it. I want an angel to come to me. I'm putting it out there, angels come to me. Do you use crystals or do any energy? Yep. Yeah, cause that's- Loads of stuff.

Look, I've got my crystals on now. Yeah, we can do that. I've got my crystals on now. Yeah, I've got my crystal bracelets on. Baby broke my love crystal the other week. I was like, I'm gonna let her just rip it. Yeah, but yeah, and energy. I did a course with mind valley and it was about energy and when you learn about energy and feeling different energies it's amazing like because we are all energy right so it's not like mmm so angels are a type of energy you know and it's a divine light being it's a really clear feeling it's really clear and bright and oh it's just magic but you can't explain it to the skeptics because they'll think you're off your rocker. This is my life now, I just think do people

think I'm mad? No but you know what I think that's in Scotland, in America it's probably very standard maybe England, I don't know like London and stuff I don't know but there London and stuff, I don't know. But there seems to be a lot more influencers pop up that are into angels and crystals and all that stuff. But it's a magical world, it really is. Nadia Thorburn found herself the mum of four children under three when she unexpectedly conceived triplets naturally following the birth of her first son, Mason. You're like, no, as a mum, I know I can feel it.

There's something different. You know, you absolutely do feel it. It's like mother nature. It's inside you. So that whole sort of two week period, I was constantly Googling twins, twin symptoms. Of course, I've seen what a twin scan would look like. I've done my research on multiples and twins specifically.

So randomly when we were on the way to the scan that would tell us our fate, I turned to Liam and I said, you know, this whole time I've been harping on about twins, but imagine it was triplets. And like, I just- Just imagine that. It was so strange because even looking at all the twin things,

I'd never thought to myself, imagine it was triplets. I'd never thought that or had a feeling. And I said to him, imagine. So I said it as a joke. And then he rolled his eyes and said, oh, it couldn't just be two. Now we've got to add in another one. And I got defensive, you know, that way we are. Why was I defensive? Like, obviously hormonal. Because you knew. You knew. You knew. And so I said to him, I said, you know what, people do have triplets, you know, like I just got really uptight, but probably just hormonal, but that sixth sense is in there. And then yes, so we got into the scan. she started scanning me and Liam's sitting there.

As soon as she put the equipment on me, the jelly got the scan up on the screen, I literally slapped Liam's leg. I went, I told you I was having more than one. And I was like, I knew it was twins. And this was before the woman said a word. And because I'd looked at all these scan pictures of twins for the last few weeks, I could see that there was two sacks. I couldn't really see much happening in there, like I wasn't really aware, but I just thought it was two babies. So I was like, I knew there

was twins. Women started laughing. So she let me have my moment of I told you so. Oh no, honey. Oh no, honey. She was like, little do you know. You thought it was twins. She must have felt like the cat that got the cream, like when I was so self-assured. Yeah, like, oh, I knew it was twins. She's like, what, do you do this for a living? She was just laughing, like, scanning me. So I'm like, Liam, I knew it. But at the same time, obviously the realisation of having twins, I started to get this like heat over my body, like this shock and the reality kind of started to come in. I was like, oh my god

like twins. Anyway, so Liam was sitting there and he said, you know, is it to the woman like looking really shocked and then she just turned to him. She said, so dad, when you look for one heartbeat, you look for two. So I was thinking, I knew it. Then she said, but when you look for two heartbeats, and then she just stopped and Liam was like, you look for three. And then honestly, I can't even describe, I still remember the feeling.

It was like an out of body experience. Like the room went quiet and she just said, yeah, you've got three healthy heartbeats here. You're having triplets. And I get emotional actually thinking about it. I bet you do. Just looking back on how well it's gone for us, that moment, because I still remember the fear so vividly

and the shock and just thinking about Mason, how is my body going to cope with this? Will they all survive? Like all these thoughts and feelings hit me at once. And just you were in complete and utter shock. There's no way. Well, obviously you had that on the way, but they're telling you that are you even pregnant? Yeah. At one point. So you're like, I'm very pregnant. I've got three. What does my life look like

now? What did Liam say? I mean, Liam could not speak. Like in that room, he could not speak. He was blown away and lost for words for the first time in his life. And do you know what? I think it's a testament to kind of how he picked himself up from that moment. He took a second to sort of process. And when we come out the room, he was like, this is going to be incredible. This is going to be amazing. And one question I get often is, you know, did Liam run a mile? But he was very much the opposite. That's him as a person. And I believe that that gave

me more confidence and more positivity throughout such a difficult experience. And also Liam weren't running anywhere because, you know, without Liam Liam this situation wasn't happening. He was a key player in this. He was a key player, but also no wonder he was happy. He didn't have to do anything. Right, so anyway, you're pregnant, you've got triplets. So how does it work with the triplets then? So were they all in their own sack? Or? So what happened was, so initially I would have fallen pregnant with twins, boy girl twins and then the boys egg split to form identical twins in one sack and I was getting rid of the other. So that is literally just a freak of nature though that's happened, that's people with twins that have identical twins, there's the sack

parts and then they have identical twins. And the boys shared a placenta and Winter, our girl had her own. So I had two placentas and three babies and two sacks. Chloe became a household name when she appeared on the reality show, TOWIE, and she is the mum to four year old Bo. You are co-parenting with Danny. Yes.

How is that going? Is it good? Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, it's hard. It's really hard because you don't ever see yourself not being with that person. And again, I think that's like for you to deal with and you to get your mind around

because obviously when you do go and have a baby with someone, Yeah. like you picture it being forever and you're gonna have this family, but sometimes it doesn't work out. Look, for both of our reasons, it's worked out completely different.

But yeah, it's similar, it's similar. But you think, I just wanted that perfect relationship, that perfect family, but what is perfect? No, I know, I know, I'm learning to learn that now. Learning to learn that. Yeah, no, it is hard sometimes, but he's a fantastic dad. He's really, really good with Bo. Can't fool him in any way with that in that sense. So yeah, it's just, we're amicable.

Are you two good at making like decisions together, joint decisions on parenting? Yes, we are. That's always been a good thing about us. It's never a good quality. It's never been, or even like, I would say something, a few of my friends have the problem where they'll say something as in they want something for that child and then they'll go no I don't think that's a good idea blah blah blah. That's never ever ever been the case. You both agree We both we've always both agreed or he'll give his opinion and I'll give mine and I'll go. Yeah, okay, or he'll say yeah Okay, it's never been even was naming him. It was a never a big that's why I'm having this Yeah, it was never it was always quite easy. Yeah, so you're was naming him, it was never a big. That's why I'm having this moment. Yeah, it was never.

It was always quite easy. Yeah. So you're both easy going when it comes to the parenting. That's really good. Yeah. Because especially you are having to co-parent, like you both need to be on the same page. Yeah. I'm quite a family girl anyway.

So for me, more so now I'm finding it easier. But I think Danny, he's always wanted to be a good dad. Do you know what I mean? He's always had that in him and he absolutely idolizes Bo. How do you feel when Bo goes off with Danny though? Do you feel like yeah I'm here for the break or are you like bye? Mixed emotions. I have mixed emotions. Sometimes I'm like oh really would love him with me today and then other days I'm here for the break. Yeah I I need the break I'll go Pilates or have a day out with one of my girlfriends. The Pilates queen. To look like Chloe Lewis you just have to do Pilates five times a week. Not the minute, I'm giving up. Oh whatever. I have. The most unreal person I always say to Chloe when I'm with her

Why has she got the most prettiest face and the best body ever? Kills. As she drinks her drink she hates it, she hates any compliments but honestly she has, she's got the best face ever. You're the cutest, thank you. Yeah so it's good, it's fine. Listen it's been a really, like I said, tough two years between us both but nothing really happening, it was just differences of people and not growing together, growing apart, which is just, yeah, it was honestly the saddest thing I've ever, ever been through.

But you have had obstacles as well with work and his work. So you've had that between you both. Yeah, it's tough, really tough. And then when you've both got this child that you both love immensely and you know what I mean? You're the only two people that have got the love for this child like you have. Yeah it's really tough don't wish it on anyone. Yeah but you know like that's what I'm saying it is your journey and it can change it.

And this is a stupid thing to say as well but it's almost like only because I know you grieve Tom but you don't see him do you know what I mean so you're grieving him but you he's not there anymore whereas I'm grieving someone but I have to see him every day it's a weird situation I can't explain it so yeah no I know exactly what you mean like I'm in a situation where Tom's not coming back like he has died and there's no back from that. No which I know is the most awful thing ever I don't actually know how you do it. What you're saying is what's the future for you and Danny because he's actually here. Yeah. And it's you're grieving the relationship.

You've just got to get on with it. You have to just get on with it and still see their face. Yeah I don't know. I don't know how how you do know No, well, I mean because you do share a child together and look anyways you and Danny Yeah, what's gonna be is gonna be and that is it and that's what I think in life. It's meant to be. Yes Yes, God, it's made me bloody stronger. I'll tell you that yeah But I think through life we do grow and we do get stronger and like like we saying you've been to Dubai You've got stronger from that you now reflect on that and you think I'd be a different person if I went back now But you have to do that to go. Yeah, you have to go through. Yeah this. Yeah, what's bar is for?

I literally them for years. I'm a complete different person Yeah, and it's been a roller coaster Yeah when I when I first felt or even being in the Maldives. When I first fell, or even being in the Maldives that December and I fell in the, me being in the Maldives that December to the person that I am now, my views and outlook on life

and the things I used to worry about and care about and worrying about what people thought and them small stupid things that I've learnt now that are just so unimportant and that your little bubble and your little team and family and all the rest of it is just what is most important in life. And every all of us are different as well. Yeah. Like we all want the perfect family even in my upbringing. Yeah. Like I've not had the

perfect family. No. So I think that's how I could actually probably deal with. That's why I think I feel like I've had a pithy for you That that is it because you were brought up by your mom and dad and you're they're so in love Yeah, they've been together how many years and like your sister and her partner and then it's you feel Yes pressure the pressure. Yeah, of course, but your journey is different today. I know I know my journey See, I'd love to know it's going to take me though to you. I know, I'm interested to see though. Courtney Simmons is a mum, a health and beauty blogger who promotes healthy living, body

confidence, self-love and beauty from the inside out. Well the thing is, I'm just like, and I feel like my kids are going to be like this too, that if you feel like something's right and you know it's right and a teacher's wrong, I would have to tell them. Yeah, I got kicked out of law for that reason. Did you? Yeah. I did law.

I chose law. I was gonna rule the world. And she just said to me, I don't think this is for you. And I said, what do you mean? She went, this is the law. You can't change it. It's not open to your opinion.

Like it's the law. The law's the law, yeah. And I was like, well, I'm not having it. Yeah. She was like, well, I can't change it, it's not open to your opinion. Like the law is the law. And I was like, well I'm not having it. Yeah. She was like, well I don't feel it's true. Do you feel like you're a truth seeker? I'm a massive truth seeker and that's the thing at school or in any situation I'd be like, well that's not the truth, you're not telling the truth, I need to get the truth out of you. Justice.

Actually my mum and dad moved house and they've got all my old school reports and in reception it said, Connie likes things to be fair. So I mean, law was never for me. And that's the thing I try and teach Aurelia now I'm like I hope you're kind to everyone in your class and and you know play with everyone and because she said to me yesterday oh uh that you know sometimes she doesn't want to play with certain people I said that's fine but just I want you to be inclusive and kind. Yeah, as long as you're kind. Because I was that, but I would be the person sticking up for someone that's none of my business. Yeah, that's me too.

I would be sticking up for him. And it's like they they've backed out the conversation here. And now I'm there arguing with the teacher or arguing with a friend. Yeah, that's me with friends, boyfriends. Yeah. Yeah. And then you say it and they get back together. Yeah. I've been there plenty of time That's just the sort of my life all and out with friends. Yeah, but you was saying how much you hate Yeah, yeah, and I do know what again it goes back to boundaries, doesn't it?

It's made me go actually I can't rescue all my friends who've decided to be with our souls. I can't rescue them No, so I'm just gonna say look I'm here if you need me. And that's it. My opinion stops there because it was affecting me. And again, it's with family. Like I've got three brothers. I try and help them and support them as much as I can. I do actually coach all three of them, like more career focused, but I have to learn to let go because there's a lot of emotion, emotion attached to that. Whereas with my clients, once I've spoken to them all that day, I can switch off from it. But when it's family and it's friends, there's that emotional attachment. So I have to set a boundary now. And also I think it's learning other people's personalities because you're

probably the same as me, that you think everyone's the same as you. So what they say is like, I'm very black and white. And when people are gray, I really find it harder to understand what they're saying because I'm like I'm I will tell you how people please in hard to understand yeah I do people please in the sense that if I sense people are uncomfortable I really go to the really huge extent to try and make them feel comfortable and then I'm drained. But people pleasing to the point where people are saying yes to everything and they end up miserable and unhappy. They say that people pleasing is literally a huge cause of mental

health issues because you're not doing anything true to you. You're saying yes to everyone around you and none of it aligns with who you really are. Can you imagine that? Yeah. I'm like, am I a people pleaser? I feel like I am a little bit of a people pleaser, but then if I actually don't want to do something, I'll just be like, no, it's not for me. Yeah. Everyone probably has an element of that because no one wants to hurt other people's feelings. But yes, it's the people reason I'm like, no, you don't want to do that. I know you don't want to do it. Why are you saying yes for? I get passionate. I hate seeing someone not being true to themselves. It kills me inside. Yeah and I think when you are just black and white and what you see is what you get and I've

always been like mom like people either like me or they don't because who doesn't like you? There's probably people out there that don't like me but I have because I am a truth seeker and I tell the truth and I say how I feel like And you get it from my, I definitely get it from my mum like if you want straight talking about a situation You go to my mum because she will, there's no bullshit with Diane. It's like say it how it is I love that though I know where I stand I think people are afraid of the truth

Yeah And I think there is a lot of that, a lot of bullshit in the mum world as well. And like, oh, you know, people pretending that everything's perfect. And I feel like that doesn't do anyone any justice. No, and that's why I think people have the shock of their lives when they have these kids

because they go and these babies, because it is so hard. It is, I always use this word. I think I've used it on every single podcast I've done so far, it's relentless. Being a mom is relentless. It's the hardest job you will ever have to do. And even when they're grown up,

look, our parents will still be worrying about us now. My mom said to me today, oh, so what jobs have you got booked in and what's happening? I'm like, what are you worrying for? But she said, I just like to know what you're doing and if everything's going okay. You never stop being a mom ever. And do you know what, I actually think

that there's so much pressure on women, on every woman to be a mom, but actually I think that not every woman should be one. If it's not for you, it's not for you and that's okay. I think you're better off going, it's actually not for me, than's not for you and that's okay. I think you're better off going it's actually not for me than trying to force something because society or like evolution or science or biology whatever you want to call it has said that your body was designed to be a mother but if it's not for you it's not for you if you know that that's not suited to your personality. I mean some people are just

because they have to but I don't actually think motherhood or parenthood is for everyone and I think that's okay. I think that's okay. I think that's okay. I think it's better for the kids. It's hard to believe it has been more than seven years since Cara Delahoyed was crowned Queen of Love Island. And all that time later, she and Nathan are still very much in love and together and since Love Island, Cara has become a mum of two and a successful businesswoman. We did not talk for I would say six months. When I say we didn't

talk I mean like he would come to every appointment, he was there for everything that I needed with the baby but we had no contact beyond that. I didn't want to know what he was doing, he didn't want to know So you'd split up? Yeah yeah we went we went together. Officially we was not together. I was pregnant. He was going to be involved and I was just- How long did you split up before you found out you're pregnant? We split up because I found out I was pregnant.

Oh, okay. Because it all just went so mental. And I can imagine Nathan absolutely losing his head. Just was like, and I can understand what he was saying. He was like, we can't have this baby. We hate each other. Like what sort of world are we bringing this baby into? When me and you can't even stand each other.

So he did have his reasons. It's not like he was just like, I can't be a dad, oh no. And he says now that Freddie's the best thing that ever happened to him. Because if he hadn't have had Fred, God knows where he would have been. Cause we never would have got back together. Never.

It would have sort of been done, wouldn't it? Yeah, a hundred percent. And I'd be in this series now. But that wasn't meant to be. You were meant to be together. And I said to you, that break was the best thing that ever happened to us. And in my mind, I was always like,

do you know what, never slag him off. Never, ever slag him off because he's the father of my child. If we become friends in like five, 10 years time, whatever, I'm gonna look like a complete idiot. And I do feel like people do that in breakups that they run the person down. No they don't do it on the person No, don't that's still the father of your child and your child is still like i just i just don't get it unless they've really

But also then all your family then become like yeah, they don't like they dislike that person They've got reasons like yeah Unless i'm really terrible to happen and they've been like abusive or something like that then Okay, that's a total different circumstance. But if you've literally just split up because you didn't like each other and you weren't getting on. Yeah.

Like, grow up, man. Yeah, just don't say anything. I went on this morning and they was like, how is everything, Nathan, amazing, he's so supportive, he's the best dad, we talk every day, blah, blah, blah. I was like, yeah, I'm not. Why would you do that? No, yeah. And it's better.

He's done the right thing. Yeah, and I'm still, even when I tell people about what happened, I'm very even with it. I understand why he felt like that. We was in a bad place because this was happening. We'd come out of a show. It's not a normal situation for any person.

Neither of us was in a good space. He wasn't in a good space. I wasn't in a good space. And I don't think you're prepared. You guys definitely wasn't prepared for the fame that you had. The guys that are coming out now, they're more prepared and I feel like the channel's more prepared and the producers and everyone's more prepared to go, do you know what? You're going to go on this and it's going to change your life. But then I don't know what more they can do. The only thing I think when we was in that they could have done more was financially

give you more advice because you go from earning, like I was early 90 pound a night dancing in clubs, do you know what I mean? Like it's still right, but, and then you go to earning more money and you don't understand because schools don't teach you about tax, that national insurance, pinchings, that they don't teach you any of that. But

I think now they do do that. What once they come out they say. Yeah, I think they obviously don't. You're gonna have a tax bill. Yeah, so make sure you save your money because we live in England. Hi all, it's TV's Gail Porter here. I am so excited to tell you that I am joining the Paranormal Activity family and will be hosting a number of live podcast recordings across the UK. The first is on the 6th of March at London's haunted Richmond Theatre. Expect terrifying tales, audience interaction and hopefully a spirit or two.

I can't wait for you to join me and to hear your own paranormal experiences. You can find tickets at www.paranormalpod.co.uk So you were pregnant, Nathan's, you're not together. How did you get back together? No, I told this to Kelsey's mum as well. This is how we're very open people. So when I'm- You're gonna tell everyone now.

I don't think you need to worry about just telling my mum, Kar. We're all friends, I'm your friend, we're all friends. When I had Fred, total difference to Delilah, I don't know if you found your different with a boy and a girl. With Fred, I needed an itch to scratch, you know? I really needed a pull. You were horny.

Yeah, I didn't say that. You said that. Anyway, I really- I was quite like, I was very horny when I was pregnant. Right. With both. See, I wasn't with Delilah, but I don't know.

I had proclampsia and we didn't know, but I really needed it with Fred really bad. And I was like, I'm pregnant. At the time I was right in the public eye. Like I couldn't go and do anything for anyone else. Not that I wanted to, but like, could you imagine if me and Nathan split up and then I got spotted with another geezer pregnant or like,

and I couldn't think of nothing worse. I was in such a bad place. I was like. No, and you loved Nathan. Always loved him. But we just both knew that we couldn't, at the time we couldn't be together Neither of us was in the right space. It was not good for us. We was toxic

So we went for the scan as I said He used to come to all the scans and we used to sit there not even look at each other Look at the screen and just be like Not trying to be really planning at the time he didn't drive so we used to have to get someone to drop him Oh Wait outside then driving back which is joke. Oh little knife. Yeah now we say that not the time he didn't drive, so we used to have to get someone to drop him all the way down to King Right outside and then driving back, which is a joke Poor little Naif Yeah, now we say that, not at the time, I was like hmm

We went to the scan at 20 weeks to find out if he was a girl or a boy And I said to him, I was like listen, I know we hate each other I know you hate me, I know I hate you But please can you do me a favour and just, just one time Just do it with me one time, please. Just scratch that itch and just, because I'm really desperate and you're the father of my child and I can't go with no one else, please.

And we did. And then we both realized like, this is ridiculous. It must've been good. Do you know what I mean? Like it turned a whole relationship around. I bet you it was like really passionate. Must've been. And then yeah, we basically got back together in secret,

but we didn't tell my family, his family. We didn't want to tell anyone because there would be no... Did you tell management? I can't remember because we was with the same manager. I don't know, I can't actually remember that but yeah we did get back together but we didn't tell anyone for absolutely eight years. More and more these days homeschooling is becoming a popular alternative to conventional schooling in state or private schools. One such parent is the wellness and fashion and travel blogger Coral Goldin. I think that's the biggest misconception about homeschooling is that it's you and your children

sat down with books, 8am, 9am, starting school for the day, but that is not the case whatsoever. We're out and about in the real world mixing with other adults, mixing with other kids. Like they have friends over all the time and they're making up dances or they do groups together. They're always socializing. I actually think more so than you would be in school because- Well, saying that, Aurelia goes to a really big school.

Oh, does she? So she goes to like the biggest school in Europe, I think. So it's six classes per year with 30 kids in each class so her school is massive. And how does she does she love it? She loves it but she's really confident isn't she so she literally goes around she knows everyone like she'll go oh that person's from class 19 that person's from there like she is me as a child like and growing up and now even, I'll like walk around my area and I'll know people because I went to school with them.

Because the school's so big for everyone. You're very bubbly and confident. I feel like you know everybody, don't you, though? I know everyone. If I don't, no. I do know a lot of people and I am bubbly. So school was great for me, but looking back, I would have probably liked the homeschooling

because I think there's certain elements of when you're at school, you know, for me that actually sitting at the desk, I actually saw someone, I think it must have been Brooke Vincent that put it up yesterday or someone and it was like a kid in the class. So I've had to move your daughter because she's talking to the person next to them.

This was me as a child. So I moved your daughter next to the teacher. She then started talking to the teacher. Like that was me as a child. Like I couldn't sit there and be quiet. Yeah, but I don't actually think kids are necessarily, especially from a young age, they're necessarily meant to. Do you know what I mean? So what does a week look like for the girls? So no week is exactly the same, but roughly on a Monday and a Tuesday, they do always

go to their kind of home ed school, which is nine to five Monday to Tuesday. And that is run by ex-primary school teachers who saw not necessarily faults, but they saw things that could be improved within the education system. And they tried to make changes and they saw within the system they couldn't do anything. It's like it's all legislative, you know, they can't make changes, it's really difficult. So they took a step back and they started the Imaginarium, which is that project-based learning where it's all ages and there's no testing or anything like that, but they go and it means they're with their friends and they're learning about the world, but with teachers, with qualified teachers.

So they do that on a Monday and a Tuesday. They also have piano on a Tuesday. Then Wednesday, Ava has a math tutor. Then they do Aikido. Then she does private singing. What's Aikido? It's like a martial art. Oh. Yeah. But it's really good actually. They talk a lot about mindfulness and meditation within that. So it's not like karate or any of those kinds of martial arts. It's more defensive and how to stay calm in a situation, which I think in this 10 age

is really important. Yeah. Yeah. So they do that. And then Ava has singing and dance. And then Thursday they have tutor, art, gymnastics. But you know like gymnastics, is that an after school? No. So this is a home ed group. dance and then Thursday they have tutor, art, gymnastics. And then-

But you know like gymnastics is that an after school? No, so this is a home ed group. Oh, okay. Yeah, which is really good. So I feel like there's a lot of places now that are kind of catering more to the home ed community because also there's a gap in the market for businesses. If you think of like a gymnastics club,

what are they doing all day? They've got this big open space. They might as well fill it with, you know, home ed kids. It's great though, so you get everything done during all day. They've got this big open space. They might as well fill it with, you know, having a good time. So you get everything done during the day. I'm a taxi driver. Like obviously not fully, but I'm taking them around to groups all the time. But it means that they're, yeah, you do get everything done during the day as well. Because I guess that's what parents would feel that, you know, I drop my kids off at half eight and they come out at three. Yes. I get to do other stuff during the day.

If someone went down the home ed route, yeah, you are sacrificing a bit of do you feel like you could work and do home ed? Yeah, I definitely I know loads of parents that do. And the thing is, you just because there are a lot of groups, you can, for example, on the Monday and Tuesday, they're there all day, you know, longer hours than they would be at school. But then also you just kind of navigate it and communicate with other home-made mums.

So like, I'll take one of Ava's friends for the afternoon and then vice versa. So you all just kind of help out, I suppose, and then take them out for the afternoon, you know, go to the library or wherever you end up going. So you have built a community. Yeah, and there's, I mean, we're really fortunate in Brighton. There's a massive home made community.

And I'm not even a massive part of it because I'm not one of those like really social mums that goes and like I do make an effort, but I'm also I just kind of do my own thing as well. Do you know what I mean? Like we've got our friends, but then yeah. So the girls absolutely love it. What are their thoughts on school? Do they ever go to, oh, why don't I go to school?

Well, Ava, neither of them ever did and they were really happy to homeschool, but now Ava's, because she would be due to start secondary in September and she's asking a lot of questions about it. And I've always said, if they ever ask to go to school, obviously I'll let them. So, I don't know.

To celebrate Mother's Day, I was joined by my mum to chat about what I was like as a kid. If our parents and styles differ and share some of our best stories about me as a kid for you all to discover. So all your friends still ring me up and I'm gonna ask, die. Yeah.

I mean, Tom used to literally ring my mum how many times a day? He used to go, die, question. Die, question. ask, die. Yeah. I mean, Tom used to literally ring my mum how many times a day? He used to go, die, question. Die, question. Question fire. Die, question. Yeah, my friends still ring mum now and even now with their parenting.

Yeah, I've done the breastfeeding with them all, little Kelsey first one. Yeah. All of it, all of it. Yeah, Zoe. Zoe, yeah. Yeah, all of them. And then some will be like,

oh, what does your mum think about that? What does your mum think? So I think basically. But they don't have to take my advice I don't care if they don't take my advice. No, but we're really straight and direct So if you want an honest opinion, and I guess I'm a bit too straight and direct You can't upset people if you're bit straight and direct Yeah, but I would say I am like my might the people even love me or they hate me and growing up I was like that, wasn't I? Like teachers, certain teachers would absolutely love me, then others would just like despise

me wouldn't they? Too loud, too noisy, too much to say. Yeah, I've always had a lot to say but look, I'm here talking for a living, do you know what I mean? You used to have teachers that used to go, it's brilliant. She interacts with the class. She's kind to everyone, a bit like Aurelia. She's kind to everyone, looks after everyone, and always got something to say. Some teachers found that a positive, so it is just an opinion.

I do think as well with Aurelia that she obviously, to look at, she looks like Tom. Both my kids just look like Tom. I don't even know how I birthed them out of my vagina because everyone just says to me all the time. They look like Tom. They look like Tom. I'm like, okay, cool. But Aurelia is so much like me, isn't she? Always dancing, singing.

That's what Kelsey was like. So I think probably that's why the teachers found it because you always were flamboyant, weren't you? Remember when Julie made you that Barbie outfit and you was dancing around the hall in the Barbie outfit. Okay, let's talk the whole Barbie outfit. Let's talk about the Barbie outfit. So we did a... Yeah, what was it?

It was probably like a school assembly. She just all literally danced around, didn't you? I can't remember what it was for, but I think I was in year one or year two and my auntie makes costumes for a living. She makes Borama Latin outfits. Basically, you name it, Julie can make it. So Kelsey always was the best dressed. Oh, she was the best dressed. When it came to her performance.

So I had this Barbie costume and I was, I think Billy Nicholson's mum has still got the video of this. I need to get it from her, where I strutted around the school hall being Barbie. But that's when they pulled you to one side. Yeah, one of the teachers said to me, have you ever thought of putting them into performing arts? And I thought, oh, so that's when we went you to one side. Yeah, one of the teachers said to me, have you ever thought of putting them into performing arts? And I thought, oh.

So that's when we went up to Italia Conte and she started one lesson a week. Yeah, drama. Drama. And then it just went from there to, and then she was doing everything. At that point, she was doing ballet elsewhere. You were doing horse riding. Yeah. You were doing-

Swimming. Swimming. You were doing ballroom and Latin. You did it all, didn't you? Every day we did something different because she just didn't like sitting indoors. What are we doing tonight? and Latin. You did it all, didn't you? Every day we would did something different because she just didn't like sitting indoors. What are we doing tonight? Which is what Arale is like. And she's like, what are we doing tonight, mom?

Both my kids are like that. What are we doing? They do every activity. And I think that's really important. And I did get to a stage where mom said- You got to pick. Hops riding is quite expensive. Ballroom and Latin is quite expensive.

And obviously when you went to main school- Yeah, so I started on a Saturday and I used to do nine to five every Saturday, dancing throughout the whole day. So I did dancing, singing, acting. You used to stay there all day. And then the head teacher of the Saturday school actually. You said about auditioning for the main school, didn't you?

Yeah, one says the main school. No one knows what the main school is. The main school is Atalia Conti Academy of Performing Arts so you never really we didn't really know about secondary schools then did we? No we didn't. But he said I think Kelsey should audition and I auditioned at I guess you're 10 or 11 then aren't you and I got a place and so she never went to state secondary school yeah went to Atalia Conti. I went to Atalia Conti which I think was the best thing. Oh, definitely, definitely.

Do you reckon I would have been chucked out of normal school? Well, you always managed to pick the naughty kids to be with. Gemma. Gemma, are you listening to this? Gemma, we wasn't naughty. I just think sometimes with schools, it's very structured. Not naughty, mischievous.

Mischievous. Gemma was very mischievous, isn't she? But I never actually used to do the naughty things with him. I used to just get, I was just with them. And then I guess you get found guilty for, what's it called? I was talking to Gemma's brother, Matt, time we went to that party and Gemma hid all the shoes when it was time to be picked up. We went to a soft plate party and Gemma, Gemma's got to listen to this pod now.

Gemma didn't. She was very mischievous. She chucked... She didn't want the party to end, so she chucked everyone's shoes in the ball pond. That's it. Pipp Davis, better known as Midwife Pipp on social media, is a practising midwifery sister, podcaster, and most importantly, a mum.

This year, she published her debut book, Midwife Pipp's Guide to a Positive Birth. Women's bodies are like incredible, aren't they? Like we are. Sorry to big us up, but like we're blooming awesome. We are incredible. And I think that's what I say to friends that haven't had babies and they're like, oh, like we've not decided on a baby name yet. But I like, I'm like, just wait. Wait until you've given birth because you will be allowed what you want whenever you want it because he has just watched

and gone, wow. We are amazing. And I think sometimes we've been actually just understanding how incredible our bodies are and how our bodies and babies are literally designed for this event and how they've adapted throughout that nine-ish months of pregnancy to accommodate birth just starts to give you that confidence, which we need more I think for pregnant women Because often we're told, you know, like don't do this. Don't lift that don't move in this way

You know, you mustn't do this and then we suddenly feel like this weaker more vulnerable version of ourselves But we're not. And then we're like, here's labor. Yeah. Here's this big old challenge that I've just told you you're incapable of. My mum said to me, get to the gym, get working them leg muscles because you will need them.

Actually, I had the preeclampsia, and I mean, the listeners would have heard this story about a million times, but I was so swollen. My legs had ballooned and I felt like I was in like a sumo suit and the midwife kept going to me you need to get on your knees I was like I can't I can't physically get on my legs because you know where they are anymore I didn't know and they wouldn't bend like my legs wouldn't bend I was like I actually physically can't because I can't move

that was obviously traumatic but I think again for me I'm not an over thinker so I think even going through something so traumatic of the preeclampsia I ended up in having forceps, tearing, being stitched everything but afterwards I was like I've got a baby and now I've got to feed it and now I've got to do this like it was so I didn't even think about the birth afterwards I think it's now doing this podcast that I keep talking about birth. I'm like, oh yeah, thinking about it. Mine were actually quite traumatic, both my births.

And that's often the way, and often I find it's when women, if they've had one traumatic birth, when they conceive another pregnancy, they've kind of compartmentalized it. Because like you say, you're then into the next bit and the next phase and you're managing everything else. And then when they recognize, oh, I've got to do that again, that's when some of

those kind of fears and worries start to come back to the surface. And it's really important that we start doing work to stop women having traumatic birth because we don't need to be living in this massive epidemic of birth trauma and I just think it's saddens me to look at it midwives. But why? Why? Why do you think that we are? I think it's definitely multifactorial. One is I think we are fed sometimes a really unrealistic concept of birth. So, you know, I love positive birth books, I love positive birth stories, but we have to look outside of this one type of birth. And so often we are fed this one type of birth.

There is a lack of education and information for women. It's all very surface level. You just can't prepare for the biggest day of your life through like a one day course or a couple of evenings. It's not enough. I would say think of the preparation we put into a holiday or a wedding because we know they're important. And yet for birth, we're like, I'll just rock up to this course for like an hour and then know everything

and set myself up for the best journey. It's just not feasible. You'll get some useful information, but it's not enough. Daisy Wood Davis is an actress, singer, and best known for her roles in Hollyoaks and Holby City, and most importantly, a mum to her little boy Asa. I think that's the power of us women that we can go through that pain and people say to you don't they nothing

whatever compared to childbirth and I don't think it I don't think any other pain will. No and then we want to do it again so yeah and that's why I said it can't be that bad because we we sign ourselves up to do it again I mean literally I went that's why I said it can't be that bad because we signed ourselves up to do it again. I mean, literally, I went nine months after I was like, yep, I'm pregnant again. So I was not. Yeah, I really was nine months and I fell pregnant with Bodie. Oh, my. I loved it that much. Let's do it again. And also mine was quite traumatic as well. And I was like, yeah, doing it. Just go for it again. I don't overthink though. And also I knew what to expect that second time. So did you feel like your second was easier, your second better? My carrying and being pregnant was a lot easier and I looked like a dream. With Aralia I looked

horrendous and I just thought that was normal. But actually being pregnant the second time, I realised it wasn't normal and I was really ill. But then Tom obviously got diagnosed in me when I was 35 weeks. So my perfect pregnancy went out the window. I was like, oh, I was just in stress central and I wasn't eating, I wasn't doing a lot. So it was probably again another traumatic birth. But for me, I was actually just more,

I wanted to get the baby out and get on with life. Get on with life, I need to move forward with I think. It wasn't the focus. No, it wasn't, especially with Bodie it wasn't. It was like, right, you're having chemo and you're going to radiotherapy. It really wasn't on my radar to be like, oh yeah, what have I just been through? I think it's taken to now I'm now reflecting on all my births again. I'm actually seeing a spiritual therapist, of course I am,

and we're talking, like I need sessions just on my births alone, because what I went through in both of my births. That's what I mean, I just think it's really rare for a woman to come out feeling sort of unscathed by it and feeling like it was just like a really pleasant experience, which is a shame. It is a shame, but everyone on Instagram's like,

I'll tell you my birth story, I'll tell you my birth story. I'll tell you my birth story. Like everyone's got a birth story, haven't they? Because I think, do you think it's that we're underprepared? But you did the hypnobirthing, but you still feel like, even with the hypnobirthing, they didn't cover, they didn't turn around and say to you, this is actually gonna be really painful.

Yeah, I think there's an element of, but then again, I guess it depends how your brain works and whether that works for you. And I think your pain threshold as well, if you've got a high pain threshold. Yeah, and I didn't really know. I mean, I assumed that I didn't because I'm dramatic. No, no.

I feel like do any actors or people from performing arts got a high pain threshold? But for me, my waters broke first and apparently, I don't know if this is medically true, but apparently that does really increase the pain because when the amniotic fluid hits the cervix, it just gets everything moving a lot quicker than it sort of naturally should do. And I think also like in films... But that's why I think when they break your waters, that's why it goes from like 0 to 100, because they've broken and then you're like, right, you're in full on labour now.

Not that I'm a trained midwife. Neither me or Daisy. I mean, we did go to a Sally O'Conte. We did do a lot of sex education talk, but we're definitely not trained midwives. It wasn't much science going on, no. My waters broke on the day I turned 37 weeks. And it was also the day that my sister organized a surprise baby shower for me. So I think she put me into an early labor with that. But yeah, it then took like five days for him to be born.

So he was really early then? On the day I went into labor was the day he wasn't classed as prem. Oh, okay. But your waters broke at your surprise baby shower or before no in the evening So I wanted because I didn't want a baby shower to be honest when I've always been to them in the past They've been a bit boring. So I was like I don't So I was like I don't want a baby shower. It's they're boring for other people

Like if everyone I think it's boring for the pregnant person Is that why do I want to party and not drink with everyone? I've never been to one where everyone's had a drink. I feel like everyone vibes off the mum. I had a bump party with Aurelia. Like everyone came, it was men and women. Tom got absolutely paralytic.

I thought, oh my God, he's gonna break his leg before the baby comes. I was in so much pain so I was just so Swollen and it was horrific for me and I look back at the pictures and think that was actual hell, but it looked Really nice on Instagram. Oh, yes. I remember this actually. I remember seeing pictures of it. Look beautiful You had like bouncy castles and I just yeah swollen mess days I literally looked I had my hair plaited to the side Don't know I had that no

I didn't I didn't I actually Tom actually was calling me princess Fiona From Shrek and I actually I had the I had a dress on that actually resembled her and now I look back and think I Actually was her I actually looked like Princess Fiona when she when she's an ogre actually looked like Princess Fiona when she's when she's an ogre. That's harsh. That's harsh. Yeah, I did. It's the truth. Yeah, I know what you mean. So yeah, baby showers for you. So then my sister organized a surprise and I basically just wanted everyone to get drunk. So I was serving everyone drinks to like half one in the morning

and then got into bed at like quarter two and laid there thinking, this is like too much for 37 weeks. And then felt my waters go. Jane Dowden, better known as mumanomike on social media. Her unique and relatable viral content has made her become the go-to creator for your daily dose of fly on the wall parenting content?

So they, I had an emergency operation which doesn't usually work as in they don't usually carry out on twin parents, twin mums. This is a vagina back home. It's not your vagina Kelsey, it's your cervix. It's much further up, nothing wrong with my vagina, it was my cervix. Do they actually do that? Yeah, the procedure's insane what they do as well. China, it was my cervix. I literally... Do they actually do that? Yeah. The procedure's insane what they do as well.

But my little boy's bag was bulging through my cervix. Because the boys were... Are they non-identical? They're identical. Oh, they're identical? They're identical, yeah. So one placenta. So they get like...

They are a freak of nature anyway, aren't they? Yeah. Because that's what identical... So it's one embryo that then splits. Yeah, and they were IVF as well. So we'd had one embryo put in and then they said, you definitely won't have twins. And then we went for a six week scan.

You definitely got twins. So there's two heartbeats, I swore a lot. Just because I had actually always wanted twins, but I didn't necessarily wanna then go from IVF to one of the highest brackets of, you know, things going wrong. And then it obviously did go wrong. So yeah, I was in hospital for five weeks. This was after the operation because they still because the bag had been exposed and

I was still contracting. They still thought that it was game over. Like the chance of us actually getting to take the boys home was so slim at that point. So yeah, we're in hospital. I was in hospital for five weeks. How was that? The worst time of my life, to be honest, like I had to dig deep to even function. And were you on a ward with other expect like what ward were you expecting mums? So people were coming in and going to have their babies and you were on that ward.

Yeah, it was really hard. It was I was in a I'm actually I want to I'm going to write about babies and you were on that wall. Yeah, it was really hard. It was, I was in a, I'm actually, I wanna, I'm gonna write about it, cause it was such a profound time of my life. And also some funny stuff happened. And also I met some incredible, incredible women on that journey. So I was in a room, there were two beds,

there was a blue curtain dividing us. And over those five weeks, all these different women came in, one of whom's a really good friend of mine now. Really? Yeah. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't be in there for five weeks. I'm like, can I just go, can you just put me somewhere?

Well, you say that, but when you think that- I know for the babies. Yeah, like I would have done anything. So- There's people sleeping and chewing and eating. Yeah, I mean- And being noisy next to me. The worst one was when-

Did you get earplugs? Yeah, yeah I did. The worst one was when they willed somebody in and it was quite near the beginning. So the prognosis of me getting live babies at the end was so slim. So it was just, I honestly, it was just the darkest, darkest time of my life.

And then they willed someone in and she was an active labor and she had an excited partner with her and a mom and dad were all excited. And I had to basically listen until she was ready to push this bed next to me. And it was so traumatizing. I understand that there weren't enough beds and obviously, you know, a safe baby-

But you're thinking in your head, is that gonna be me? Am I gonna get to that stage? Well, I did at that point, I absolutely didn't think that was even an option. I just thought, yeah, and so did the doctors. It was such a slim chance, but yeah, it worked. And I did bed rest for

15 weeks in total. I did five at home, five in hospital, 10 at home. And so by the time I got to have them... Yeah, because that was 15 weeks. Yeah, at 36 weeks. So after five weeks, why did they let you go home? Because I was 26 weeks, they had a shot if they were born. And I was starting to get sort of mentally quite poorly, I think, and institutionalized, I guess,

being in a hospital for that long. So the hospital were great, actually. They let me do day visits, because I was so nervous to leave. Day visits home, and then I'd come back to sleep in the hospital. And then by 26 weeks, they were like, it's okay, you can go home. So I did and then did it at home. So yeah, just laid in a bed for 10 weeks.

It was mad. But I think when you've been faced with an option that your children are going to die, you do anything, anything at all. And actually it helped when they were born because I just was so grateful they were there. I just was so grateful they were there. I just was so grateful. I didn't really care that I wasn't sleeping. I just, I couldn't believe that they were here. Really, you were well rested. So many mums don't rest up.

Well, I don't know. Enjoy that time. I got insomnia though, so I wasn't that rested. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's the stress of it Yeah I think so and it also because there was such a long period where I really thought they weren't gonna make it everyone thought they Weren't gonna make it was being told every day. They weren't gonna make it I didn't really realize I was having these boys till I was sort of 30 weeks

So I only really had six weeks to get my head around the fact that I was going from zero to two. And it all just felt a bit mental. But yeah, here we are. This is where I believe in the soul like they're meant to be here. I hope so. It's got to be. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. They've gone through so much. I know. And they're here.

Actually hanging on. Mom, come on. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. They've picked you like I obviously I believe whatever. No, that's nice. You believe your mom. I believe that you picked your mom and they're here and they went through all of that. I'm just so grateful that whatever that night, the fifth of September it was, made me go, something's wrong.

I don't know what it was, I'll never know, but if I hadn't have gone to hospital that night, I would not, they would not be here. Cause if I'd have gone to the next morning. So you had that feeling of? Just had that feeling. It was the same feeling I had when I recorded the song. Same feeling.

I've got to do this. I don't know what it is, can't explain it, gotta do it. I always follow my gut for that reason, always. Wow, I love it. I'm here for it. I absolutely love anything like that. Louise Boyce is more commonly known today as Mum has Still Got It and creator of the hugely popular Bernie.

Leading Louise to be known as the woman with the little hands. Outside of being an award winning content creator, Louise is a model, podcaster and best-selling author, as well as a mother of three kids. I kind of seem to be known now for the lady with the little hands on Instagram, which was not the reason I went on Instagram at all. But here we are. And yeah, it all started because my friend came round when I had my third child, came round saying congratulations,

he's a bottle of Prosecco, a card, his pair of plastic hands, I was like, that's really weird. And then she said, well, you know, you'll need an extra pair of hands now that you have a third child. And I was like, okay, I get the pun. And then put those hands away in a drawer that I never really look at.

And then COVID hit and and homeschooling, and trying to work at home, and all that disastrous rubbish. And my son did, he came up to me when I was trying to finish an email, and he was like, mommy watch, mommy watch this, like mommy watch, and then did something like really pathetic. And I was like, well, that's quite funny. Can you do that again? And then he was like, no.

And then so I basically fished out the pans and filmed it myself pretending to be him. And that's it. The rest is history. I had no idea that it would be as popular as it is. It's kind of crazy. And yeah, I wasn't planning on being Bernie ever. So before you were just posting content on Instagram, you already had like an Instagram following and presence or this blew you up?

Yeah, so I started Instagram in 2017 and I called it Mama Still Got It because at the time I was, I've been modeling for years. Which you have still got it, can I just say she's still got it? Well today, I mean, I'm looking at my video and I'm like, oh my God, I literally look horrendous, but thank you anyway. So yeah, I started Mama Still Got It because I was modeling and then when I said that I was pregnant, I was basically kicked out of the industry. And I really suffered with that because I kind of felt like I was damaged goods because I chose to have children. How dare you have a child?

You know what I mean? Like, come on. And so I realized that social media was on the rise and a lot of other models were on Instagram and actually getting jobs through Instagram rather than having your agency. And my agency at the time lost all their faith in me because I had a child. So then I just went to Instagram and called my channel, Mama's Still Got It, because I was like, I want mothers, women to know that regardless, if you've had a child or your age or whatever, we've still

got it. Like we still want to work and look good, feel good. And we're so capable of doing everything we did before. We're probably even more stronger now that we are mothers. And so that's where it's happening. Oh, without a doubt. Without a doubt. Someone says that to me the other day and I was like, look, I've got multiple businesses and I'm a mum, so please don't mess with me. The ultimate one is I'm a mum. Yeah, don't mess with a mum. And I do feel that since becoming a mother, I'm much more upfront and like, I won't take

any crap. Whereas before I was such a pushover, I'd be like, oh yeah, of course you can be mean to me, it's fine. Whereas now I'm like, absolutely not. So yes, that's where it started. And then it was, there was always a bit of like comedy in there, but it was before video was on Instagram. It was a different time. I remember when you couldn't even comment on things on Instagram, it was literally like you post a picture and you can like it. And that was it. But talking about filters, you remember the filters and overlays you used to put on to try and make your pictures look

pretty and then you scroll back down and think what was I doing? Why have I put a board around that? What was I actually thinking? Horrendous, I know absolutely but you know it was very cool at the time. So then yeah Covid hit and that's where my content completely changed, because I found myself, like many others at home with children, struggling and not really knowing what the hell was going on with the world. And I was really anxious. I was so anxious. And so I downloaded TikTok, and it was was when TikTok was like, kind of more for younger kids and dance routines and you know, God forbid a 40 year old mother would ever be on it. So I just downloaded it and I found the content really funny

and I found myself laughing a lot. And so I just thought, you know what, I'm gonna try this out. And because I was new to TikTok, I didn't have any followers. So I was like, doesn't matter what I do, because no one's following me, I'm't have any followers. So I was like, it doesn't matter what I do because no one's following me, I'm just gonna do it. I'm doing it.

And see what happens. Yeah, I was just like, it doesn't matter. And then it started to get some momentum on TikTok. So then I thought I'm just gonna put one of these videos on Instagram and see what happens. And it did well, so I did another one and another one. And I just kept going. And because we were stuck at home every day doing nothing,

I just said to myself, every day at five o'clock, I'm just gonna do a TikTok. And it was like the thing for me every day just to keep myself sane. And- And a job, like creating yourself a new job. Yeah, basically. Suzy is a social media influencer sharing all things fashion, lifestyle and parenting,

using the platform to share her life experiences and document her honest journey through pregnancy and parenthood. Using the platform to share her life experience and document her honest journey through pregnancy and parenthood. I feel like everybody has trauma somewhere don't they? Yeah. But what do you think that's due to? Honestly I feel like pregnant women and women in labour aren't taken seriously, they aren't listened to and unless they've got an advocate who is really strong on what the woman in question needs and wants if they aren't able to voice it themselves. I think it's very easy for healthcare professionals

to just glaze over and let things go wrong. That's not me saying that healthcare professionals aren't doing the very best that they can, but I do think we know our own bodies, and I do think particularly if we've been pregnant before or given birth before then we know when things are going wrong or going right and I do think we should be listening to I think a lot of it is around money and I'm in a position where I'm fortunate I was able

to go private for my second and third birth that's not the case for everyone English is my first language we know that the death rates for women who are black are so much higher than those who are white and I do think there's a massive problem with giving birth in this country. I think everyone does probably have, not everybody, but a lot of people have a trauma story and they're not really taken seriously. but a lot of people have a trauma story and they're not really taken seriously. It's funny though, I was birthing partner for actually, well my best friend Rosie, my best friend Kelsey, Rosie I've done both of her children, I was her birthing partner, and then my friend Kelsey and because I was there and I knew exactly what they wanted,

they did actually have great births because like you're saying, someone being the voice, I mean Rosie's first birth they were asking me if I was a doula and I was like no I could be this could be a karyfmi but I knew exactly what Rosie wanted I mean the second one was extreme I was like oh Rosie like she wanted me to burn the cold and do all this actually we did go a bit off piece I was like let's just cut the cold let's just calm down like you've literally just been through labor let's cut the cold yeah but she didn't want hands-on. She wanted like it at home. She got everything she wanted because I was there even after she gave

birth. They really wanted to rush her into hospital and I was like she's opted for a home birth for a reason. She wants to be at home. Like let's just wait and then they did sit it out and we waited half hour because she basically was feeling faint. But it's like, of course she does. She's just literally used all of her energy to give birth. And they actually did wait and she stayed at home and she had the most perfect birth.

But I think you really have to push. And I guess knowledge, knowledge is king, isn't it? Yeah, and I think women have to go into labor knowing that they have choices as well. And I think sometimes we don't know that. We sort of think, okay, we're being told this is the way it's going to go and this is what might happen.

And it's a tricky one because you are in the hands of professionals and you want to listen to what they're telling you, but at the same time, there are choices that you can make. I remember with me though, I did the hypnobirthing, but my hypnobirther said, you wouldn't just go and buy a house, would you? You wouldn't just be walked around the house by an estate

and go, all right, yeah, bye bye. You ask questions. Like you don't just go into it being like yeah like it. Yeah. You ask so many questions don't you? If you're like if you're buying a car whatever you're buying. I had a friend that gave birth at the Portland and she's paid for that birth she had a great birth because in her head she paid for the birth. And unfortunately that was kind of how I viewed my labor. It's like it is mindset as well because you're thinking in your head, well, I'm paying for this,

it's going to be amazing. Yeah, which isn't how it should be. I mean, yeah. She was like, I'm in it for the afternoon tea after I started thinking, I don't know how you could eat afternoon tea after you've given birth. Did you?

I had, so our afternoon tea was the day after. The first day I had jelly, and I was great. But I'm that person after I've given birth, I literally, I'm a really sicky person in day to day. Like, I could be sick at any occasion. Like if I'm tired, I could be sick. If I'm feeling nervous, I'm sick.

Like I had heart, heart, everything in my stomach. Yeah. And straight after I gave birth, I was like, oh my God, I just want to be sick. I just want to be sick. I can't eat anything, I want to be sick. Yeah, although I had caesareans for the second and third. Yeah. So you do feel differently. Do you have you had a caesarean? No. You do feel differently. Do you? When you've had a natural, abdominal labour. Yeah. Yeah, you do feel different. How do you feel? Well, first time around because it was traumatic,

I felt like I'd been attacked with a machete. I felt terrible Honestly, it's I'd say this With you know full power behind my voice the first experience of giving birth for me Was the worst day of my life. It was awful I hated every second of it and I thought I was gonna die and I was actually very comfortable with that Which is something that I had to kind of work through that kind of brought quite a lot of trauma. Why did you feel like you were going to die? Because the pain? Or just because it was all going wrong? It went really wrong so I my waters had broken two days before I gave birth they were leaking and when I mentioned it to a midwife who wasn't my usual midwife it was suggested that

maybe I'd wet myself and I thought well I don't think I have but turns out they were leaking. Again with your first you don't know what to go by. You don't, you're kind of like well maybe. Am I wetting myself? Am I down there? I haven't seen it in months it could be leaking out we don't know. Did you not have a look? See my mum after I gave birth kept going to me. Have you not had a look? I was like I'm I gave birth kept going to me, have you not had a look? I was like, I'm not getting a mirror and I'm not looking down there Diane.

No. She was like, oh I had to. I had to have a look. Do you have a question you want me and my guests to answer? Get in touch by emailing askmumsthewordpod at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail on WhatsApp. Our number is 0759927537 or leave it as a review on Apple Podcasts. Make sure you hit the subscribe or follow button so you never miss an episode.

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