Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - Rhiannon Lambert

Episode Date: December 27, 2021

Ashley's guest this week is Registered Nutritionist, best-selling author, podcast host and mum to 19 month old Zachary, Rhiannon Lambert. She's chatting mental health, birth trauma, breastfeeding and weaning. If you have a parenting question you would like Ashley and her guest to discuss, get in touch at [e-mail]---A Create PodcastSee acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I am particularly excited about today's guest I say as I've literally just finished stuffing my face with like dry toast because I do think it's so hard to take care of yourself with food as well as I am a particularly bad at adulting when it comes to like meal times and feeding myself so one of like my biggest challenges with Alf is having to think about meals every single day and my guest today actually really kindly reached out to me when I had first given birth she's just been like a total rock she is one of the UK's leading nutritionists and founder of Retrition which is a renowned Harley Street nutrition clinic she's a best-selling author with over 250,000 followers on social media and she hosts the chart-topping Food for

Thought podcast which has over 5 million downloads and aims to give listeners practical evidence-based advice on how to achieve a healthier lifestyle. She's got a book coming out soon called Science of Nutrition which I'm very excited to talk in more depth about and probably her most important role is that she's a mum to Zaki who is 19 months old. It's Rhiannon Lambert. Oh gosh what an intro. You actually read it all. Thanks babe. Hello. I find it's quite nice being introduced by other people because it's a bit kind of like affirming like oh I did this I mean I'm bright red so thank goodness it's not being filmed on camera today from blushing or bright red from running around before the podcast trying to get

I mean you know you name it probably a mixture of the things had to get the washing done you know the manic mother life before the day begins with feeding and like you mentioned earlier getting breakfast in oh my goodness what a juggle it's funny because I spoke to really literally just before we started filming and we were trying to like find a time just to chat for a couple of minutes and so I think we had 10 minutes and in that time I was like right I'm gonna get some toast I'm gonna get some coffee I'm gonna run I'm gonna run and do this and I'm gonna let my cleaner in and you were like right I'm gonna have a shower I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this it's like just a standard day doing the juggle. Do you know it was rare I actually got a shower in before midday because normally on days where I don't have

child care it's when he goes for his afternoon nap and that's when I get to actually get out my PJs or you know get myself remotely presentable so today's a good day ashley today's a good day for me because i had a shower and yesterday i actually vetoed my shower and today i always said to tom i was like no negotiations i stink so i'm glad that we're both having a good day yeah hygiene tick i thought actually we could just go straight into talking about your book the science of nutrition it's obviously out on the 30th of December I had like a little a little flick through the the very small preview that I have I mean I mean first of all it looks very nice

like as in I'm I feel like I'm so clueless with nutrition. Like I kind of mentioned at the beginning, it's just not an area of adulting I feel like I've ever nailed. Like my kind of classic style is I'm a very good intuitive eater and I've also got rid of any form of like dieting. Like the diet industry no longer controls me. But I get hungry and I need to eat there and then and I have never have anything in my fridge that's in date and so then I run around being like what on earth can I eat usually like a little run to a supermarket yeah and that's kind of how it's been until Alf started weaning and then I was like right I really need to be a little bit more organized on this it's funny you say that though about you know you quickly, manically running to the shops or something because even so.

So the book is like an encyclopedia of nutrition that's easy to break down. I know you've got a very small coffee. I can't wait for you to have the whole book, actually, because it's huge. And it's in a Q&A format. So all the questions that you could think of, like, what do I eat when I'm in a rush? Or is alcohol actually really bad for me should I be skipping meals all these types of questions like how do I address sugar and what do you look out for on the shop shelves because you may pick something that's marketed to be healthy right

and I think that's one of the hardest things with parenting is when you're in a rush in the supermarket aisles maybe you know Al's not having a happy time in the in the trolley that day or the pram and you're just wanting to grab something quick and it's really confusing for everyone because the industry lies it's really hard to find things that fit into your lifestyle and that are actually good for you when half the time what is written down on a packet isn't correct so that's the point of the book is to help you you know i know what know what it's like as a mom. And like you said, your style is intuitive and you should give yourself a huge pat on the back, by the way, Ashley, because to get rid of that diet culture and to actually get to a comfortable, happy place with your relationship with food, that takes a lot of work. It took some time. And one of my biggest regrets of my 20s is not eating pasta.

And I think I lived in fear that I would eat pasta and like get fat and number one like who cares but number two that I when I started introducing all this food again that I actually love I was like wow like my body I mean it's changed slightly because I don't look malnourished anymore but like my body hasn't changed at all like really and I feel like we are sold this lie that you know carbs are bad or you shouldn't enjoy food and like it does take time to get out of that and sometimes I won't lie like it's easy to get sucked into it isn't it especially when you're around people talking around dieting or but it's it it's such a stressful way to live and especially postnatally I feel like there's enough to think about I haven't even thought about diets restricted eating and actually like god I'd hate to have to

like add that to my stresses on top of everything but I know and I'm empathetic to the fact that lots of people will be like really stressing about that yeah and after I mean if you break it down first of all with what you've said about I think we'll talk about carbs very quickly and then move on to the vulnerability post-birth because carbohydrates are not bad for you it's a huge misconception and it's it's the UK's number one source of fiber for the bulk of our diets you know we don't get our fiber day and if you're eating at least some more whole grains or getting a mixture of pasta and different breads and things into your diet you're getting more nutrition you know bread is now fortified with folic acid and calcium and iron and it's nutrients that people don't think about and actually it's not going to

overnight make you put on weight but I delve into that in the book so I'd encourage anyone that has a phobia of carbs or you know they're stuck calorie counting, I break down why it's not the answer for you in the book. But if we go on to post birth, I mean, what a time, your mental health, your physical health, it's a huge road ahead, like a scary mountain to climb of recovery. And the last thing that your body needs is to go into a dieting cycle or trap. And I sympathize too. I have a lot of clients in the clinic that are like, look, I'm just not comfortable with my body.

I need to do something. And there is a way to look at your nutrition, but there's so many factors. It depends on your support network. Do you have any help? And I know that during the pandemic, I mean, I was completely alone. I know everybody just felt so isolated. You didn't have that support no one helping you cook food or bring you anything like they say you know the best thing you can do I remember in the baby groups you know when you do those classes I can't

why can't I think of the name of them what are they called the NCT yes NCT yes those things they're like oh make sure someone brings you some cooked meals if they come over or they they make you a cup of tea you know there was none of that and if you're then embarking upon a diet as well that can impact your mental health because if you're restricting your food intake can also impact the breast milk production if you've chosen to breastfeed it can impair the speed of your recovery if you think of all the things your little tissues and cells need like all the protein and the the factors that it needs overnight to repair. Because you're not getting the sleep, let's be real.

Like the sleep factor of recovery is not there. So you need to be on it with eating food and you just need energy. Dieting post-birth is, I'd say, they say six weeks on the NHS. I say longer. I wouldn't recommend to any clients that they really start looking at it until around 16 weeks plus I would say if you're looking at your diet because it's just hard isn't it so it's mad to me this whole six week mark because it's like yeah I feel like the thought obviously before like when I was pregnant I was like yeah six weeks I'll be back doing exercise and having loads of

sex and yeah basically like back to normal I remember that feeling of like I'll be back to normal back to work back to this and it I remember I think I was like still in my pants eating my baby's head it's like I was not ready to do any of it but also my body wasn't ready like I was I was still healing my stitches hadn't healed I had incontinence and at that point the thought of having to go onto a diet because of the way my body looked like I was worried about how my body functioned I was like I think I'm I'm broken and it's interesting because today I'm wearing a pair of I'm very excited about this like I've got this like quite rascal burnt orange velvet suit

and um it's it's from my past it's from my pre-pregnancy days and i just happened to see i was like let's see if the trousers fit because they're really like warm and cozy and obviously it's cold outside very festive and they fit and i and look it's not about fit i hate even like the thought of like trying to fit back in your clothes but i'm 11 months almost almost a year old and I tried these on two months ago and I was like that's fine I wrote I'm never going to fit in my clothes again I'll accept it but I just didn't I was like I'm just going to put them in this corner over here and then today I tried them on and I think it's it just shows that actually

like your bones are still moving because it wouldn't even go over my legs. Mine haven't moved back my hips. I swear there's, I mean, I had an episiotomy as well post birth and there were all these things to think about. Like you, I couldn't really walk far. I remember being scared to leave the house and go too far because I would just wet myself. I was like, I just need, it's just all these little things. And there's a saying, it's not like an evidence based saying, I think it's in lots of different cultures around the world. But you know, it takes

nine months to grow a baby or take at least nine months to repair again, and then move forwards. And you haven't intentionally done anything to get back to that point. And I will caveat it by saying for some people out there, a bit of nutritional education and knowledge will really help them get back to the place that they would want to be but it's doing it in a safe way that's not restrictive and is I would say sensible that fits your lifestyle you're already running around after a little one and once they start crawling and moving it's like a whole new minefield but it's so refreshing to hear Ash and I think it's such it's great you're a great role model to people that you know you're not about that because you see too many things marketed at women with unrealistic snap back kind of mindsets and you'd think times have changed but

they actually haven't do you know what it's actually I find it quite infuriating because you know I've spoken to people even on this podcast like Georgia Jones who who did I mean I hate even saying the term baby weight because I think it's a repulsive thing to say that your body's just grown and done this amazing thing and then the moment the baby's out it's like considered this unwanted excess but she is like naturally very slim and went back to a naturally very slim state after birth without trying and very quickly. But she was also suffering with pelvic health and, you know, all of the things that a lot of us go through. And she was told that she was a bad role model

and she felt like she had to hide her body. And I think, you know, fat shaming, skinny shaming, it's all policing and judging a woman's body on appearance and after going through something like childbirth however you gave birth it's just so rank that we could be like celebrated or judged on our bodies just done this like miracle thing I'd love I would do you know what I would love for you know how when you're pregnant you do all these like body shoots I did like a one where I put like flowers in the bathtub with milk I actually want to do a postnatal one because whether you've got stretch marks or you know loose skin I still have loose skin so even though I'm back in my trousers my body will never look me my tummy will never be taut but we should still like celebrate like

I mean it's mind-blowing like I still can't actually quite believe actually I need to at some stage to stop declaring to Alf you came out of my vagina but you also starts to understand yeah but you grew an organ like we grew a placenta out of nothing what blows my mind this is the geeky kind of sciencey side of it for me but it's the fact that we were able to grow a whole organ that feeds your baby all the nutrients it needs and we sacrificed our own nutritional stores for nine months plus basically to feed a child and then if you continue to breastfeed or regardless you're you are giving all of your energy to this child like we are keeping a human being alive from day one and there's loads of

interesting research that the first 1000 days, so that's where all the stats come from, which means from the moment you fall pregnant, and then all the way up, I think that takes you up until a baby's two, or it could be three. Bad that you can't quote me on that right now. But it's in the book. And that research is the most crucial crucial critical building blocks of a baby's life from their brain developments their cognition how they think how they feel and you know what it's all down to the mum no one else but the well the caregiver if you're the mum or you're the partner whatever if you are providing for that child it's your responsibility that is huge if you think about it in itself it's mad that we judge on appearance and aesthetics

when you're actually responsible for creating a baby's IQ from day dot and how a baby will think and feel and care and how long they will live and how their heart health will be forever you are dictating all those factors right now yet people just judge you on how you look I it's just mind blowing I mean the most thing for me is obviously I've been really open about like my mental health and last week I felt so like anxious that I lost my appetite and I mean I love food like I'm a big foodie and I was like this is crazy and I had COVID about a month or two ago again I lost a lot of weight because I was so ill and trying to breastfeed and keep Alf going

through the time because he also had Covid and so then to be like people like praised me for losing weight and I was like no no no that this is this is down to illness like this is not good and especially when I'm breastfeeding like I can't like I need my reserves but I guess that's the society we live in and And it's so great that, you know, you're doing your bit to kind of like debunk the myths of diet culture. It seems sometimes like an endless battle, Ashley. I mean, it's something in the clinic that we've had for years, because we have many different sections in the nutrition clinic. And one of those is eating disorders. And I have a wonderful team of registered dietitians. And we

work with psychologists frequently psychiatrists when needed in extreme cases but it's serious you know that is mental health is so so serious and what people don't realize is that food can be a huge coping strategy for people in need at a time that can be a really good one actually it's amazing that we can turn to food and not something else but when it becomes a prolonged thing or becomes a problem and it gets in the way of your everyday life and like you said losing your appetite is equally a huge sign something's wrong and it's these red flags that we've almost been brainwashed to believe are these positive things we just hold such a hierarchy for how women are visual objects

rather than looking at mental health and I'm glad you brought up mental health because it's something I'm so passionate about and I've only discovered about a few months ago so my son's now 19 months old I think it was around 16 months I discovered I had PTSD and I didn't know because I hadn't had any help for my birth and the situation I just thought that what I was going through was normal you know experiencing really hyper vigilance like feeling like I need to check the monitor all through the night just not feeling like I can let go of control of looking after him getting some major mood swings like from depression to rage and flashbacks to different

moments and just crying when I talked about the birth and I didn't know that that was a sign so I think if anybody out there just is listening just speak to someone about it and I think a lot of women probably a bit scared to come forward maybe and just talk about that that's interesting because I feel like since giving birth to Alf but it's so hard because I guess a bit like you with Zaki you must have given birth when around March 2020 so yeah it was April full yeah full on and so sometimes I find it really hard to differentiate whether what I'm feeling is due to the world that we're living in like with pandemics and lockdowns and whether it's because I'm a new mom but I feel I get so easily overwhelmed now like I used to be really good at

juggling so many plates and obviously I'm juggling more plates than ever but if one thing goes wrong I get so like oh my god I can't do it and and I never used to be like that so I'm listening to you thinking like I wonder if I maybe have like some form of PTSD from from my birth without did you would you say that you have positive birth I mean is the PTSD from birth I wouldn't I mean I'm not a therapist first of all but I would definitely look into anything if you're experiencing because I didn't know that it wasn't you know the norm to feel that anxious you know some mums could give their child someone else to put them down for a nap. And I just didn't feel safe doing that. So I've discovered mine was linked to safety and fear and giving birth in a mask and being on my own for five days. My husband couldn't

meet my baby for five days in COVID back in April. And then I was in for eight days. But the whole time I was just terrified of my baby catching COVID. And it got so bad to the point where I was in for eight days. But the whole time I was just terrified of my baby catching COVID. And it got so bad to the point where I was so sleep deprived, because it was quite a long birth. It was quite traumatic, quite long. And I developed a mild form of psychosis. So I was like hearing voices on the ward. And that's why I got removed to a side room eventually. And then my husband was only allowed in because they wanted me to pump in week one so he could do some night feeds so I could get a bit more sleep and I didn't realize the impact that COVID had had on my birth obviously that is a I'm still stuck on the fact that you had to give birth in a mask I know they just shoved it on my face when I was wheeled in for that I had a forceps

delivery in the end I was told I had four pushes and then it'll be over to the c-section and it was all a bit of a blur to be honest but yeah I gave birth wearing a mask and I remember saying I can't breathe I can't breathe and that for me it's so I still find it hard to talk about it but I'm able to talk about it now now I've processed it all in a different way I don't feel like you have to talk about it if you don't want to talk about it but it's it's because I was really scared about giving birth in lockdown but I gave birth January 2021 and I feel like we were going into off we well they just announced the third lockdown I think around the 3rd of Jan which was my due date and I gave birth on the 9th also by that point we knew more about Covid like when you get back it's been terrifying because everyone was afraid of hospitals like we really did all i wanted a home birth i didn't want to

go in it was like my worst nightmare i had the home pool i had the home birth team you know thinking because all i'd listened to actually was they say don't listen to negative experiences don't they before you give birth and i'd only listen to these really positive like i had a home birth and it was dreamy and it was amazing and I was like yeah I'm gonna do that I did hypnobirthing and I did I can laugh about it because I did kind of set myself up for it now I think back but yeah the minute they said go into the hospital I mean I was not releasing any oxytocin let's put it that way I was just on my own in hospital for ages they wouldn't let my husband in. I think it's actually inhumane like I kind of understand that in March April 2020 they genuinely didn't know what yeah I mean it felt like it was

apocalyptic wasn't it there was a death toll every day on the news I remember watching a death toll when I was just about to go into labor I was like turn the tv off I was just I mean that's not going to help the oxytocin is it no um not all. I remember saying like, if you're not allowed in the hospital, I will give birth in the car park. But also similarly to you, when I was pregnant, I only wanted to listen to positive birth stories. And you know what? In a way, I'm glad I did because I think actually I was so excited to give birth.

I was like, wow, I'm going to have this like amazing sort of spiritual experience. I was excited to like feel it. I did hypnobirthing too. So I was like, I'm gonna have this like amazing sort of spiritual experience I was excited to like feel it I did hypnobirthing too so I was like bring on the surges you know it's all almost very positive that I do think it I didn't even have a birth plan so I will say that I was I was aware that things might not go to plan so I didn't have much of a plan other than that I wanted to have to have the vitamin k shot and I wanted my placenta to be put in a weird box to be made into pills. But still, I didn't really envision how long and horrific that my experience was. And similarly to you, I think there is this weird, well, it's not weird, but there's this like you almost you feel

ashamed for having a negative birth story and you know I mentioned to you that like when Alf was born I worked with a doula and she actually when I first did a podcast episode with Susie Amy which is about our birth stories in detail so if you if you do want to listen then obviously you can find that episode but trigger warning neither of them were particularly positive experiences. And she actually reached out being like, how dare you talk about this? You're going to put people off. And I was like, but I feel like there is this like something, it's like you feel ashamed.

Like it's like you're a dirty seat. Like don't talk about the negative birth stories. You're going to frighten the pregnant women. And it's like, but I also need to talk about what I went through I mean people have a choice and I agree it's like only listen to positive if you want to listen to positive stories but equally if you do want to just arm yourself with a little bit more knowledge it depends how you thrive doesn't I think some people love to know every eventuality don't they so they can mentally mentally prep for things that could potentially happen and then other people just rather just not think about it just don't want to know about

anything I just go right in and I think it's whatever works for you isn't it yeah see I'd run marathons and I've run two marathons and I didn't train for either but I'm like very stubborn and strong-willed so I remember in my mind just being like don't stop left right left right and I did it and I did it in four hours. So my approach to childbirth was like, if I've done a marathon without training, I can give birth without. I'm laughing just because that's the last thing in the clinic I would advise anyone to do nutritionally. But good for you.

It shows you are very strong. You've got a good willpower there, actually, because that is hard. That is that. Yeah. Credit to you there. That's tough. There was a moment, though, that I was about 12 hours in and the midwife team told me they were going to go home

and have a nap before I gave birth. Oh, God, yes, yes. What? Where do you live? Like, you've got time to go home. And then that's when my mind just went because I was like, I can't do this anymore. Yeah, you're like, you're not coming back are you

I remember thinking yeah you get that one midwife for that one shift I actually had three in the end and you know they were all called Bethany's like they were lovely they were so nice I had like a Bethany a Beth and another Bethany and it was really weird but they were all Bethany's and yeah I just remember them saying oh end of the eight hour whatever now that I been here for. So I'll hand you over to the next one. And you just have this naive impression, don't you, that you'll just be with that one midwife the whole birth. But then I had had friends that had such amazing experiences, you know, and I'm very hopeful that if I have another, that one day it will be a different experience. And equally, just for anyone listening, like said of course big trigger warnings but I think it's so important just to seek out someone to talk to and share like you said your experience because if it was a bad one it's only going to be improved by

releasing it and being able to tackle it I think. Welcome to Paranormal Activity with me, Yvette Fielding, a brand new podcast bringing together people's real ghost, extraterrestrial and paranormal stories, as well as getting some inside details from those who study the supernatural. I'll be listening through your paranormal stories every week and try to understand them, as well as chatting about my own encounters with an occasional paranormal investigator too. You can find us wherever you get your podcasts from, including Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Acast. Just search for Paranormal Activity with Yvette Fielding. So how did you get diagnosed with PTSD?

I booked in to see a therapist just because actually I thought it was impacting even my relationships at home. And, you know, it was hypervigilance. I didn't feel safe. Like I couldn't sleep at night. It was getting to a point where it was stopping me going to sleep. getting to a point where it was stopping me going to sleep it was really getting in the way of my relationship with my husband because I would just not trust anyone to do things in a certain way with my son because I was just so scared of anything happening I was scared of him going out and catching anything and I thought right I need to talk to someone about this so I found a local therapist that works with birth trauma and I thought you know, I did have a difficult birth,

but I'd always just kind of suck it up and put on a brave face because I know so many other women do. And I always said to myself, so many have it worse. I'm really lucky. You know, I have a baby here at the end of the day. You know, you go through that whole process of there's others worse off than you. There's so much guilt with mental health and any form of trauma, isn't there? But actually, there's always always in anything going to be people worse off than you that's what my therapist says all the time she's like you just that's my big barrier to everything I do is I feel so grateful for the situation I have in life right now I've worked so hard for but feel so grateful for it that I must feel bad

for having anything wrong but anyway when I went to therapy she I filled out this screening questionnaire and we had a good chat and it was very obvious to her with the results that came back and that's a medical screening test she's qualified to do that that that's what I experienced and you know what some people say don't label but for me knowing what I dealt with actually was a a justifiable thing you know that I did experience trauma was the word because she said your brain changes so when you're traumatized it's fascinating your brain actually changes so the amygdala or the place in the brain that creates the um flight or fight response is heightened which is why you become so hyper vigilant once you become a mom and if you've

experienced any form of trauma that's always kind of switched on so your brain has changed in shape and the way it functions which to me made sense I was like oh my god my brain's changed and that's why I am the way I am now I'd love if if you don't mind to kind of like move to I know that you have in your book a bit about nutrition with children and obviously you mentioned earlier like the importance of nutrition for their development what what do you do about food like I feel like weaning is a bit of a minefield to be honest and I'm still you know steaming all my veggies and putting them in ice cube trays but now that Alphys is so much older I basically use half an ice cube tray but what what do you find that works and what would you recommend for parents who are just a bit lost I mean what am I filled you're manically trying to juggle probably going back

to work or whatever you do and you're trying now to also prepare food for your child which is a whole other thing to do and once they become accomplished eaters you're then preparing proper meals for them and yourself it's like another added level past the milk just the milk phase so I think it's really important to find the approach that works for you with weaning and we discuss this a lot in the science of nutrition the science behind it but you can either go down a traditional kind of fruit and baby rice type puree area but there's more emerging research now as well for veg-led weaning so bitter tastes first which means maybe there's more research that your child will be more likely to eat vegetables in the future so it really depends how you want to do it at the end of the day the goal

is to get your child to eat food and learn how to use their gag reflex correctly and swallow food and eventually start chewing and you'd be amazed at how strong their gums can be if you're doing this and your child still has no teeth it's amazing because they can chomp their way through heavily steamed items but I still use a steamer at 19 months I steam pieces of broccoli and whatever veg I've got green beans he loves baby corn or you know courgette and stuff and I'll put that on the side with a meal like spaghetti bolognese or something or whatever he's eating that day fish pie whatever it is and he will still use that so I think it's quite a good investment

to get used to steaming things and freezing things my freezer I nearly said we need to buy a whole new freezer because it's just full of Zachary's meals um there's no there's no space for our food it's it's like it's um we just basically do need to get a bigger freezer it's tiny we are waiting for a big fridge freezer because we we've got just like a really small one and exactly like you said it come from your flat because ours came from a flat no ours was already integrated into our kitchen and it but it's tiny especially the freezer there's like three small drawers and it's all covered in alf's food yeah between finger food and ice cubes of steamed veg yeah but it is your best friend the freezer is the best friend when you are weaning and the key is to make sure that as soon as you can when your baby is able to is to get them onto

those balanced meals so each each meal, once you're past the initial tastes and textures and finger food phases, I would introduce cutlery as early as possible, to be honest, just to get them used to holding a spoon, even if they don't use it, just to get familiar that the setting when you eat is with a, you know, a spoon and a plate or something, because that will help you and equally the same goes with water from six months they can have tap water but you know before it should be boiled and cooled down but make sure that you've got maybe a cup of water a sippy cup or something because you've got lots of different things you need to get your baby used to like sucking

instead of chewing and sucking because some straw cups that you get as well when you move onto a straw cup they have a little valve in them that the baby has to like chomp on to open to get the water up but you just want a free-flowing sippy cup eventually so it's going to help them with many life skills even speech development is linked to weaning as well now which we know and eventually you want that protein carbs and fruit or veg on the plate type mode. And you want to be aiming for that at each meal of the day. But ultimately follow your child's lead would be my biggest tip because they know when they're hungry and they know when they're full. You just can't fool a youngster. I feel like this with kids in general, like we all kind of strive to go back to not caring what people think, not dieting, just eating when we're hungry, like eating.

It's amazing, isn't it? They're just like, they're basically like little masters. Their minds are not corrupted. Like you said, they are masters. They're like the Zen. They're the ultimate. Yeah, they live in the moment. The ultimate moment. Yeah, they know. They know how they feel. They'll cry when they want food or milk. They just know.

Sadly, we are just corrupted, Ashley. I mean, as the years go on. And, you know, it starts quite young. And I would say as any warning signs, it's something we do in the clinic a lot when we have our child development sessions. It's looking at when they go to nursery and beyond. So the settings they eat, the food they eat at nurseries, do they then become accustomed to certain desserts every single day on a certain day of the week when they go somewhere? Are they used to constant snacks

throughout the day? These habits that we form at a young age are the ones we need to be prepared to stick with for quite a while because we are shaping their food and their relationship with food and I guess I'll bring up sugar very quickly it is contentious and it's completely up to the parent but the advice is no sugar under the age of two and it's purely just to protect dental health as well because you know you'll get to this phase actually but it's a nightmare brushing their teeth it's an absolute nightmare I don't know if you've had any tips on that before somewhere on the podcast but no but please share because right now I literally hand him a toothbrush and let him just play with it but teeth that could take place well we're 19 months in and we'd be lucky if I managed

to get around every tooth in his mouth it is difficult we play this song that so I put an insta story box up and asked for some feedback and someone we play this song that so I put an insta story box up and ask for some feedback and someone said play this song called hey dougie toothbrush song on youtube and sometimes I put that on yep then he'll watch the song and the dougie dog thing and he'll brush his teeth a bit but sometimes I just have to make him laugh or just get in there and he just doesn't like it you just know it's going to be a strop but if your child has been chomping away on sugar all day and dried fruit shouldn't be offered under the age of five and it's marketing oh no i've been giving them dried apricot i've been given half dried

apricot well this okay so this is the thing it's a really condensed i feel cheated i know i know and raisins are another one you know they're marketed at kids it's like all these things but under the age of five we do recommend not having them but I will say dried apricots are an excellent source of iron so you know you've got caveats and fiber Ashley so you know you've got to take it all with a pinch of salt but if you're able to brush the teeth don't give them a pinch of salt well this do you know what it's up to the parent it really is and it's not the end of the world sometimes I'm just giving out the spiel you know the NHS guidelines but it will stick to the teeth and it can be more difficult and we know that a quarter of children now under the age of five have tooth decay in the UK so yeah little things there but this is what I

mean about the food industry like like how deceptive. It's just... Well, I grew up in a generation where we all thought Sunny Delight was one of our five a day. Oh my God, I used to have Sunny D. They bowed that, didn't they? The biggest lie of our generation was that Sunny Delight was the healthy choice. Sometimes when my mum, and I don't think she listens to the podcast, so I can say what I want, but sometimes I like my mum suggests food for Alf I'm like what did you bring us up on because she'd be like does he like

baked beans like from the from the can and I was like well he's not allowed salt or sugar yet mum he's like oh I would give you baked beans she told me she needs to give us appetizer in our bottles and I was like yeah no I won't be doing that she's like does he like smiley faces and look smiley potato faces they're they're absolutely amazing but I was like mum he's six months old do you know what's funny now is that I've realized that because Zachary hasn't had enough of the tinned spaghetti and baked beans because he's starting nursery soon and I know that they'll give him some other stuff there even if I don't personally think it's necessary you know whatever I'm every now and again it's fine so I've had to start weaning him onto these types of foods that he

hasn't had for so long so I've got like this opposite battle of you you need to just eat baked beans babe you know you need to get used to eating stuff that's gonna be everywhere so it yeah it's tough I was brought up on those jarred foods you know those jarred baby food things yeah yeah yeah all of those I think you know what and we turned out all right didn't we got to take it all within reason I think yeah it is true I do sometimes think that like well I'm fine well apart from the fact that I've got crippling anxiety probably because I was left to cry outside that was another thing my mum said do you not just put him outside to cry I was like no no I don't oh but it makes so much sense now yeah and you know it really doesn't I'm so sensitive as well and I swear things like being left to cry and I know that it's a really personal thing but

it's not my jam and yeah it's just different it's just different do you know what the more we know my saying is the more we know the more we don't know because it becomes so overwhelming once you open up and that's how I feel in nutrition I feel like that's my job every day actually it's like the more I learn the more I just don't know and also I feel like ultimately like we all do our best with the information that we have and sometimes it is just a total minefield but as long as we love our babies, isn't that like, I tell myself, do you know what? He is so loved. And I tell him every day,

you are so loved, you are so loved. Because I think knowing that you're loved growing up is just, is huge, isn't it? Compared to everything else. That's all you really want, isn't it? Like, you know, all you really want is your parents to be around. Yeah, exactly.

You could eat, like, you could give them any food or all they really want is to be with you so yeah i am genuinely excited to get your book science and nutrition i'll make sure you get a copy over asap but thank you yeah i hope it will help people there's so many chapters like i said we go into all of it from gut health sugar should we even be eating you know sustainability how to raise children now in a planet-friendly way as, if that's something people want to look at. So I hope you like it. And I did see this chapters on is fat bad for me and should I go on a diet?

So I think anyone that is, you know, kind of struggling with body image and that kind of dieting spiral, then hopefully it'll be really good. So I'm going to preorder it as soon as i get off this podcast before i do let you go every week i answer a question that one of you guys has asked so this time it's from kim who got in touch via email which is askmumsthewordpod at gmail.com and she said hey my husband recommended your podcast to me it's helped me massively while i binge listened to the past couple of weeks thank you for normalizing and putting your name to how i feel i've been able to explain it and open up to friends which has massively helped me start seeing them in low-key settings both with and without my boo monster lol that's what i call alf as well um anyway my

question and current huge stress is weaning oh there we go i generally haven't read this question beforehand my little boy is currently six months and will be at nursery from 12 months. Hope you've booked in. And he's back to work. How do I get him to a point he isn't taking breast milk between eight and six? He refuses all bottles and currently still has boob every two hours during the day with two meals on top. No teeth yet either. Any help or guidance? I mean, you're perfect for this. So yeah. Wow. Yeah. yeah oh gosh I really feel for so hang on what was the age that the child's going to nursery will be at nursery from 12 months and it's currently six months yeah I mean there's a huge difference first of all the panic the amount

of milk a baby takes at six months compared to 12 months is really different so it does go down and first of all not to panic too much because it does go down and by that point you might find yourself only on three feeds a day perhaps potentially it's something to work towards maybe it's very hard to tell without knowing what you do do you offer milk before or after a nap you know those types of scenarios but one of the ways that I found this is anecdotal would be to try and get your other half or your mum or someone else just to do a few hours in preparation every week leading up to it and then give them a bottle and also at 12 months you can use cow's milk if you want to start swapping over so it's a complete different ball game is all I can say at 12 months to six months.

It's a huge difference. And I think the worry and anxiety you have now won't be there when they get to 12 months. It will be very different. And I would also just say from my own personal experience with Alf, who is 11 months, is he would not take a bottle for love or money until and until but he still won't take a bottle but he now loves water and he drinks out of cup the cup and try the cup if i'm not around it's well we we have like i call them shot glasses because they are just like little plastic things and now he has one with handles but he will take my milk from other people if i'm if I'm nowhere near and he also loves water so I think honestly try not to worry I know I mean the easiest thing to say I'm the biggest worrier

telling people not to worry but they move and change so quickly and even my boob monster who will not get away from my boobs in the night can pretty much go the day without me so I remember being scared as well. My biggest concern Kim is have you signed up to nursery but do it now yeah get on the list but it does get better with the breastfeeding I'm 19 months in now and I was in that position where I thought I would never ever have a break I genuinely just panicked but yeah it changes it changes. What is your kind of like breastfeeding like now because obviously I'm still breastfeeding and I go through stages of being like I'm going to stop but I actually don't know if I will I feel like the hardest bit you know is actually

establishing breastfeeding and now yeah I feel like sometimes it's laziness I'm like well it's a lot easier than sterilizing a bottle do you know that's how I got to that point with me and I kept thinking oh my god what whenever the differences I had lockdown and I feel the only positive thing lockdown gave me was my established breastfeeding and the chance just to be around my son all the time so we only have two feeds now it's when he wakes up in the morning and when he goes to bed at night but I haven't had a lion in 19 months of my entire life well not that I'd expect to I guess as a mum but because I do that morning feed every day so sometimes I'm like oh I'll just drop the morning feed but it's become such an ingrained part of routine that it's really difficult to do and when they're sick they ask for boob way more

as well like randomly throughout the day and what's worse is now Zachary's like a little toddler. It's quite cute actually, same time. He'll just come and pull up my top and then pull it up. And you know, I could be anywhere. He's like, I want milk. And you can tell. And I just say to him, not now, later. And then he understands and it's fine.

So they understand more. I probably will wean him off to be honest in the next month or two I think we've had a really good run but it's so useful isn't it like you said I don't know if it's laziness but the faff of everything else I feel lucky I don't have to worry about it yeah well hopefully that answers your question Kim and puts your mind at rest if anyone else has a question that they want me and or a guest to answer then you can get in touch their email is askmumsthewordpod at gmail.com or you can leave it as a review on apple podcasts or even more fancy which we still haven't had yet i actually challenged someone to do this you can leave a voice note on

whatsapp so there is a number for the podcast which is 07599927537. I feel like that would be great. Like it's quite a punchy, like brave thing just to like leave a voice note. Why not? I love voice notes. But really, thank you so much

for your time and your insight. And like I said, I can't wait to get my hands on your book, The Science of Nutrition. Oh, thank you for having me. It's been a lovely chat. I feel like we really needed that. It's just so good to, to yeah it's always good to chat to other mums and people that

get it so thank you for having me and thanks to you guys for listening to ashley james first time mum the parenting podcast i feel like this one was a little bit less maybe my state of mind slightly improved because um i feel like it's a little bit less depressing than normal so um hope you enjoyed the episode. Make sure to hit the subscribe or follow button so you never miss one. And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, then please leave us a review. Obviously a five-star rating

and it helps others to find us. And if you think that you know someone that might benefit from what we talked about on the podcast today, then spread the news, tell them about it and help me to reach more people. And I'll be back with another episode,

same time, same place next week.