Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - The Importance of Female Friendships - with Carla Freeman

Episode Date: August 18, 2024

On This Week's Mum's The Word:Georgia Jones is joined by comedian Carla Freeman on this week's podcast.They'll Discuss:Dealing with Night Feed RageAccidentally stripping in front of family's baby monitorWhat no one tells you about going into labourGet In Contact With Us:Do you have a question for us? Get in touch on our Whatsapp, that's 07599927537 or email us at [e-mail] for Listening---A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey listeners, want to diversify your portfolio easily? The All-in-One ETFs from Fidelity Investments Canada lets you do just that. Each ETF provides exposure to stocks, bonds, and crypto so you can potentially maximize your return. It's essentially like getting a complete portfolio in one trade. Visit fidelity.ca slash all-in-one and find the ETF that's right for you. Commissions, fees, and expenses may apply. Read the funds or ETFs perspectives before investing. Funds and ETFs are not guaranteed.

Their values change and past performance may not be repeated..................................................................... Thanks for watching. Hey listeners, want to diversify your portfolio easily? The All-in-One ETFs from Fidelity Investments Canada lets you do just that. Each ETF provides exposure to stocks, bonds and crypto so you can potentially maximize your return. It's essentially like getting a complete portfolio in one trade. Visit fidelity.ca slash all-in-one and find the ETF that's right for you. Commissions fees and expenses may apply. Read the funds or ETFs perspectives before investing. Funds and ETFs are not guaranteed.

Their values change and past performance may not be repeated.................. And then, but this thing, the thing is that nobody tells you that it swells. Like it is so swollen. It goes painful. That sitting down, when you, is so painful. Even just walking upstairs, just, I was always like, oh my God, the pain, the pain. The pain, the, the, the, the, the nip it.

Even now, I don't, six years later, every now and again, I get a little nip up my fanny, and I'm like, oh, and it's definitely where I had stitches. Yeah. 100% where I had stitches, you get a little twinge. There's something, because something's not, it's not in the place it's meant to be. Yeah, yeah, it's just off kilter a little bit.

And I didn't get, luckily did not get piles. However, one of my best friends had the worst. She had to sit on a ring blaster. I know, there's not a great deal you can do about it. So I couldn't even imagine having a massive. I did get piles, but I have seen one of my best friends got piles once and she was like, I'm so sorry, but you're gonna have to put something

like you're gonna have to tell me what's going on here because I can't know and it is it's embedded in my head. Is it was it like a bunch of grapes? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I think this like needs, you need to go to the hospital. Like this is really, this is not okay. And it's so painful.

Oh, they're so painful. I think I've had one tiny, I've had one tiny one, but that's just not even from childbirth. I think that was just from sitting on the loo for too long. From pushing too hard, doing a poo. Well, you know, when most of my labor was spent on the toilet thinking I was doing a poo.

No one tells you this. This is a big thing. No one with Etta, I wanted a water birth but I had to be rushed down, both our heartbeats went down because I had a really stupid thing where I did not wanna poo myself in front of everyone. I just, and I don't know why because when I say it out loud it's like, who cares?

Your child's heart beat was, so I thought it was a poo but it was her head and I was squeezing her back up. I was like, no, I am not pooing. I will not do a poo. It is bad enough. Like, I like, and so this time with Joni, when I was there, I was like, let it go.

Let it go, I don't care. I don't care, I'm gonna shit myself, no problem. I know this isn't a poo, but I tell all my, my sister actually is giving birth next month. I'm so excited. And I was like, Al, if you feel like you need a poo, don't try and hold it in. She's like, why would I try and hold it in?

I was like, okay, we're different people there. You are the more sane version. You, do you know, I was very similar. That's why I sat in the toilet for so long. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna get this shit out first and then I'll go. And then I'll crack on. And then I'll pop, then I'll go to the hospital.

I need to do this poo first. And then I was there. Oh God, oh no. I mean, obviously I was in a hell of a lot of pain. So it's not as easy as I'm making it sound, but I was just sat in the toilet going, Dan, I just need to poo, I need to poo. Little did I know I was pushing her head out.

Oh my gosh. Did you end up, were you at home then, like for? No, but I was pushing her head out. Oh my gosh. Did you, were you at home then? Like for? No, but I was 30 minutes off. So when I got in to hospital, 30 minutes and Cooper was there. Oh wow, my gosh. I went primal when I got there, like primal. Yeah.

I just took everything off and just got on my hands and knees. I was the same. And growled at anyone that dared talk to me. I was like a cat. I was like, oh, mooing. Nobody tells you you moo. It comes from the depths. It's such a-

It's like the exorcism. It is. I don't know, like, Griff told me I was mooing. I kind of could, because you're not really, I watched all these amazing, because I did Hypnobirthing with Etta, and I watched all these amazing, because I did Hypnobirthing with Etta, and I watched all these amazing videos of these women, and oh my gosh, all hats, all my hats off to them,

but I'm just not capable of that focus. I was, and if you are pregnant, I'm so sorry, because you might have an amazing experience, but for me, the sensation, which is the word you're meant to use, not the sensation, overcame me. And I was no, and all the gentle massage that your husband was like, get off.

I remember at one point, he was trying to shove like Haribo into my mouth. And I was like, just spitting it in his face. Like, I've put, he's like, you need to keep your energy up. I was like, Paul, they're so helpless, aren't they? Like it's so hard to do. They're literally like, I have never. They're just trying anything to like help and like, they've never seen their wives in pain like that before.

It's awful. We like women possessed. They must be like, oh dear God, what sweet Lord. I know like gearing up to Joni's birth, like Chris was, he was really anxious. He was like, I was like, it's okay. Like's birth, like Griff was, he was really anxious. He was like, I was like, it's okay. Like we've done it before. He's like, yeah.

Yeah, it's quite a traumatic experience for him as well. It really is. Danny rocks up in a pair of cream suede shoes when I gave birth. And I gave birth on the floor. It's a rookie error. And I never forget, I was like, this is a rookie error. And I would never forget, I was like, put some music on!

And he was fannying about trying to get this speaker set up and he was like, I just remember seeing him in my peripheral. And he couldn't, he couldn't. A musician could not get the music to work, so he basically ended up just getting the phone and holding it to my ear. And that was all he could do. He was like, I don't know the music to work. So he basically ended up just getting the phone, holding it to my ear. And that was all he could do.

He was like, I don't know what else to do. I just, I can't, I'm totally helpless here. I do feel for them though. Like the person they love the most in the world and their unborn child. And they're like, I can't do anything. There's nothing I can do. That's where it really baffled me, you know,

when you see the husbands that go out. And they have to go to the vending machine on One Born Every Minute, which I used to be obsessed with. Sim. Absolutely obsessed with. Cried at every episode and then they used to be like, Tom has gone to the vending machine and like his wife's like I think that the wife is just about to give birth and Tom has decided to go to the vending machine. Tom has a work call. Are you kidding? Tom's mother has arrived and he's gone to see her. Could you imagine? He decided to go and get some flowers for his wife. Not now. Surely one of the midwives in these hospitals would be like, I don't think that's a great idea. Probably the producer's just going, no, I mean, great telly. Yeah, yeah. It was probably two hours prior. But what we do, what we do here.

Yeah, we'll throw Tom under the bus. Tom can look like a dick for the sake of our age. Poor Tom, he's like, I didn't do that. It's like I was there, I held her hair. No, you weren't, Tom. You were getting your Snickers. I had to live with the baby. Yeah.

Oh, when they're asleep. Oh, God. When they're asleep next to the woman, heaving and shoving. And I'm like, no, you can't. Or my favorite, when you see all those ones of the men like going. Yeah, I think that was my dad.

Passing out, yeah. That was definitely my dad. He couldn't even get through the, what's it called? Antonato class. Where they played a video and dad went green apparently. Was it? Was it gonna?

He was there for the best. But there you go. He pulled his socks out. So just going back quickly to, obviously we touched on the fact that, you know, the initial feelings when you first have your first baby especially. And obviously the postnatal depression side of things.

How do you feel like you got yourself out of that? Or do you think it was just time? I think it was, yeah, I don't know. Like you said, like it's only when you're better do you realize that you weren't okay. I think I got out of my little funk. I like call it a little funk. It wasn't a little funk.

It was properly sad, but I think it was time. I think it was time and me getting confidence as a mother. Yeah. Believing that you actually. Believing that actually it's okay, you can do this. And just getting a bit of a sense of self back. I think what, and sleep. It was sleep.

I remember it was week seven. I really remember this and my husband's an actor and he was, so that was sleep. I remember it was week seven. I really remember this. And my husband's an actor and he was, so that was hard because he's out every night doing a show. And it's not every night, it's like from three because you have to go in and you have to warm up. So, and I remember him coming in one morning and going, I'll give you an hour before I've got to go to work.

And I just went, I've slept 45 minutes all night. I need more than an hour. I can't do this anymore. I can't, I want to, I'm scared of what I will do. I'm so angry with her that I've slept 45 minutes and I can't. And he called into work and he was like, I've got to have two days off.

And we went up to his family's, because my mom was a bit poorly days off. And we went up to his family's, because my mom was a bit poorly at the time and we went up to his family's and his mom and dad were just so amazing. They took her and I remember I slept from like 8 p.m. till 4 a.m. And I just felt completely different in the morning. It's amazing how one night of sleep can do something.

Oh my God, and the world didn't, it seemed manageable again, I can manage it. And I think, like the term, like you need a village, you need a few people, but the most important thing, which I'm not good at still, but I'm trying to become better, is you need to ask for help. Because that village won't come to you. Maybe in some amazing cases it will,

but most people now, especially around my age, they've got their own shit going on, and they've got their own stuff and you can't really expect them to be there all the time, but you can if you ask. If you say, just on Monday, could you just come over, Griff's got work, could you come over for two hours so I can get this work done?

Or can I? Literally two hours, two hours so I can just have a sleep, or have a nap. Or a nap. Or would you mind just leaving some milk outside my door? Or would you like? Cook me a meal. It's the asking and then you'll get, you will have your village,

but they might just not be there all the time. But yeah. And it's also that accepting the help as well. Cause like the amount of time someone would say to me, do you want me to pop around for a few hours? And I always just think to myself, no, because if you come around, I'm gonna have to talk to you and I don't wanna talk.

I'm too tired to talk. I'm not me, I'm not chirpy. So you're not gonna get any form of conversation out of me. I'm gonna have to make you a cup of tea. What I needed was someone to come around to say to me, I'm gonna come around, but I'm not going to talk to you. I'm going to take the baby. I'm gonna cook you dinner.

I'll get something cooking. I'll make a spag bol or something. And you go and sleep. That was all I needed. My family were far away. And mum and dad were incredible as were Danny's family. But you know, you can't rely on that. One of my best friends, she, with Joni actually,

and I wept on the doorstep, because you're so hormonal. Oh yeah. She just rang the door, I think Joni was five days old, and she didn't say, she lives so far away, and she just rang the doorbell, and on the door was just all my favorite food in a bag, like everything that I love.

And like these zippy, I'd said like something on my Instagram stories about how whoever invented poppers on baby grows is like a sadistic bastard. It's just like as if with your newborn in the middle of the night, you wanna be trying to aligning that little bronze popper. It's like, and they advertise it like,

it's got an aligning popper. You can't see that. What, the one red one that's like under it's bum. I've got shit on my hands. Like I can't, like, do you know what I mean? Anyway, so she- They need to be glow in the dark. They do.

Oh, they do. Oh my God, another note for, another note. Yeah, right. Mother Hill, glow in the dark popper. But yeah, she just left YouTube and then Zippy, she left Zippy sleep suits. And she, my husband, like, is vegan, he can't have dairy and she left loads of stuff for him as well.

And she just beeped in the car and went, I love you. And I was like, I was just like, I love you too. Like it was so magic. It was everything, like she'd got biscuits. She was like, these are for, she labeled it like, these are for when you have visitors. So you've got biscuits in for visitors. Cause you can't, you don't think of stuff like that.

She have children. Yeah, she's got two boys. Yeah, I mean, this is the thing. Cause when you, when you have them, you know what they need. Well, she said someone had done it to her and it was like the best thing. So now she's, and now I will do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. I'll pass it on. It's the best thing I think you can, one of the best, I mean, as well, turning up sometimes. Depends where you are, but for me, that was at that time, it was perfect. Exactly what you needed. And we're nearly at the end,

but what I did want to know is, how did you get into your comedy side of things? Have you always been from a comedy background? No, oh my goodness, no. I love, it's always been from a comedy background? No, no. Oh my goodness, no. I love, it's always been my passion. Yeah. But no, I went to drama school and I actually did musical theater

for a long time when I graduated and then I did just straight theater. Yeah. And then, but I've always, without sounding like an absolute dick, no actually I should just say this. Say it. Everyone always says, you're not gonna sound like a dick.

You're really funny, and why aren't you doing comedy? Why aren't you doing, like, you should do stand-up. Since I was like 10, I've had that. And then I think with the acting words in lockdown, just went into a bit of gridlock, and I was like, and Griff was like, just do all those stuff. Like, because I'd written loads of stuff, and he's like, just put it out there.

Like, what's the worst that could happen, just try it. And yeah, and that's kind of where it started. And that's where it started, so it really came to light during lockdown. Just after, I didn't quite get in on that, I wish I'd started just bang on lockdown, when literally everyone was on their phones, because I could be so much bigger now,

but I didn't, I typically in my life, I wasn't like one step behind. No, but this is what I was actually going to say to you is that I think you're very much ahead because the things that you post about, the things that you chat about, I'm like, oh my God, yes! That needed to be made into a sketch. That needed to be like made into something funny.

And it's like they're things that you think about internally, but nobody, no one voices them. So I do think you're actually like a step ahead. So don't do yourself a disservice there. But Carla, it's been wonderful having you on. It's been so fun. That was so quick. It goes so quickly, doesn't it?

When it's a chat, I love it. When it's not an interview and it's actually just a chat between two moms, it goes super, super quick. But thank you, you have been wonderful. Thanks for having me, I've had a lovely time. I'm doing your accent, that's embarrassing.

No, no, it's not. Do you know how many people do that? I do just go into Northern like anyway. I think it's an accent. But now because you are, would you, is that offensive in itself to say Northern? You're trying to wrap up. She's trying to wrap up.

I'm not trying to wrap up, I'm a Northerner through and through. Yeah, okay, good. No, that is a compliment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A compliment. I said before with the last guest, we were taking a photo and I said,

my phone, your camera, you know, if you don't wipe it, it looks hazy. Yeah. And she went, what's hazy? And I was like, hazy? And then the producer, I don't know, he was like, I think she's trying to say hazy. And I was like, ah!

Hazy, hazy, hazy, hazy. Ah, yes, not with a U, hazy. Hazy, hazy, hazy. So yes, not offensive at all. And also a very nice accent for people to do. Is it? Is it? Is it? So yes, it's not offensive at all. Oh good, okay. And also a very nice accent for people to do. Oh, it's so good. I think the amount of times I wish I had a Northern accent.

Do you? Yeah, a Northern accent or an Irish accent. I just think, or a Welsh. Welsh. You just, as soon as I speak to you, I'm just like, oh, I've known you for ages. Oh, good, yes. Like, that's great.

But it is, but when you speak to me, you're like, I've known you for ages. Oh good, yes! That's great! But when you speak to me you're like... No I'm not! T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t But Carla, it was lovely. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks for listening to Mum's The Word, the parenting podcast. Make sure to hit the subscribe or follow button so you never miss an episode. We'll be back with another episode, same time, same place, next week. Hey listeners, want to diversify your portfolio easily? The All-in-One ETFs from Fidelity Investments Canada lets you do just that.

Each ETF provides exposure to stocks, bonds, and crypto so you can potentially maximize your return. It's essentially like getting a complete portfolio in one trade. Visit fidelity.ca slash all-in-one and find the ETF that's right for you. Commission's fees and expenses may apply. Read the funds or ETFs perspectives before investing. Funds and ETFs are not guaranteed. Their values change and past performance may not be repeated.