Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - The Importance of Positive Energy - With Jojo Fraser

Episode Date: November 13, 2023

How can we stay positive throughout all the ups and downs of parenthood? How important is it to open up about our mental health as much as possible? Is spirituality the key?Scotland's Queen of Positivity & author of Mommy Jojo Uncut: Time for a Mojo injection Jojo Fraser joins us this week to answer all our questions on how to get back and keep our mojo back as parents - we talk about balancing life as being as a mum, setting goals with a deeper purpose, the importance of positive energy and much more.Do you have a question for us? Get in touch on our Whatsapp, that's 07599927537.---A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Mums The Work, the parenting podcast. I'm Kelsey Parker and I'm your host for this week. So this episode we are focusing on positivity and positivity and parenting go hand in hand I think. So when Tom was ill we started a Instagram dance little TikTok thing, which was called Positive Parkers. And it was where me, Tom and the kids dance and just shared our positivity with the world after we were going through something that was so negative. And when Tom passed, I stopped doing it. But Aurelia asked me the beginning of last week if we could film a video again. So we've started doing the Positive Parker dance again. And it's been absolutely fantastic.

It's really been great for Aurelia. She's loved it. She's loved the filming. She has been a little bit of a diva. But, you know, it's sharing that positivity. And I do honestly think that dance and smiling just makes you happy. She has been a little bit of a diva, but you know, it's sharing that positivity. And I do honestly think that dance and smiling just makes you happy. So today's guest is Jojo Fraser, the author of Mummy Jojo Uncut, The Time for a Mojo Injection. She is also known as Scotland's Queen of Positivity and has been an advocate of smashing the stigma

of mental health since 2014. Welcome to the show Jojo. Hello, thanks for having me. It's nice to be here. Thanks for coming. How are you doing? Good. It's Monday morning, so I'm trying to practice what I preach and get the mojo in check early on, you know, no grumbling, gratitude, looking outside, all the sunshine and focusing on all the good things when it's easy to be, you know, it's like, I'm tired or, you know, list the negatives. It is so hard. I like to say that I'm a little bit of queen of positivity because, you know,

life is tough. This morning I've got up, I've got the kids to school and I've even put my dinner in the slow cooker ready for when I get home. I just feel like I've got the kids to school and I've even put my dinner in the slow cooker ready for when I get home I just feel like I'm smashing life already yes you're nailing it and it's just them little things in life that make you positive like even putting the dinner on feeling a little bit prepared yeah I think even for me the things that I used to find really boring like putting the clothes in piles you know when you get them out you wash them you dry them and then you've got all the piles to do and it's just like well why don't I put a podcast on like this while I do all the piles turn it into something or or see it as like

a mindfulness practice and it's just taking those little things obviously with the big things it can take a bit more work if you've been through a crisis with your health you're caring for loved ones your kids have just been really full on it can take a bit more work for those kind of things and it's just practice really and some days acknowledging that it is you just got to feel the the hard feelings too just life can be really hard it's not meant to be really easy it's not meant to be perfect and this is what I think we sort of forget don't we that life is hard but I think we're all online and we're looking at other people's lives you know we're always comparing our lives aren't we now with other people's but life is actually tough and

it is them like mundane chores that you have to do that are quite negative and grueling yeah it's the little things can build up but I find that sometimes you'll be looking on social and you'll think people have the perfect life. And then a year later or whatever, you'll find out that they were really, really struggling. So it's so easy to wear that smile and that facade. But actually a big part of the work I've been trying to do over the past decade

is just make these conversations normal, especially around mental health, spiritual health, emotional health, make them normal, because it's so easy to talk about, you know, if someone goes into hospital with a broken leg, or they've got sort of health scares, everyone's, you know, what can I do for you? Let's talk about whether someone goes into a psychiatric ward, because they've got a mental health condition, or we'll just not really talk talk about that or we won't give them a get well soon card because they don't want to talk about that and it's very very hard isn't it yeah it is hard tell me more about the book and what inspired you to write your book yeah so that was partly when I saw my dad it was 2013 his mental health started to spiral it started with kind of anxiety which built then it

went into depression he had to have some time in hospital and that's when I really learned what stigma was because first of all people will say what's wrong pull themselves together they don't actually understand it's an illness and it's not something you can control. The other thing was just you're grieving for someone because they're not there, it's a different person because the mental illness will strip a person of who they really are. So that inspired me to raise awareness. The books, it's quite hard hitting, but there's quite a lot of comedy in there too, because there's tough subjects. I've tried to balance it out but really just being super honest about lots of things be it depression be it burnout stress relationship issues iPhone addiction addictions mum guilt parent guilt trying to be perfect mum I took on like just loads and loads of themes so it became more of a lifestyle book yeah wow you cover a lot

I do feel like mental health as well I have a close family member who really struggles with mental health it's that with mental health that you can't see like if their leg was hanging off you can see it can't you you go oh my god their leg's hanging off like how do we get the leg back on but with mental health it's just so hard because you can't see what that person lives every day and it is not there's no one medication that fits all as well so sometimes it's trying different medications but it can take about six weeks for one to work so you're kind of waiting and that's what we're going through at the moment we're just trying to get them on the right medication but the medication that they're on right now has lifted them but you know it's how long this medication

will then last and and keep them lifted yeah and that's the thing and there's there's so many other lifestyle factors and everyone will say oh go for a run go for a walk it's so good for you but it can be so hard for people to get off that sofa or to get out of bed in the morning you know that could be like a marathon actually getting out of bed a mental marathon so it is really hard and I just think the more we can kind of talk about it the more people we're going to really help but I have noticed a massive shift over the past kind of 10 years more people are talking but there's still so much stigma there's there's still crazy amounts you know I don't think it's ever going to fully go away because mental health is so complex and people will say things that they regret as well

and then there's the shame and embarrassment and that's really hard people lose relationships they lose friendships yeah it's nasty it's brutal, talking about it, so key and encouraging people who have gone through it when they're feeling shame to just not be so hard on themselves. Because there's a difference between personality trait and a mental illness. So someone with a personality trait, for example, a psychopath, they will know what they're doing if they're causing harm and they'll enjoy it. Whereas a person who has a mental illness may say something that's out of character that hurts someone, but they don't know what they're doing if they're causing harm and they'll enjoy it whereas a person who has a mental illness may say something that's out of character that hurts someone but they don't know what they're doing they don't have capacity they don't have the protection of boundaries because a part of your mind switches off so they'll say things and like when my dad

would say things to me like go away or i'm not interested i don't want to see you or oh I think the voices in my head are telling me I'm going to harm you I just couldn't do that personally because it wasn't my dad it was nothing like my dad's character so I think as well it's educating people on the difference that mental illness is totally different from certain personality traits that you see in the movies you know when you see evil people and they're trying to cause harm and you see the word psycho i do think like where you've lived it's a lived experience so you've seen it firsthand i think for people that haven't it's so hard to make a judgment and you know that fine line between psychopath or mental health because you've lived it firsthand you understand the stuff

that like everything you're saying about what your dad would say really is resonating with me but again it's a lived experience for me yeah it's so hard for people on the outside looking in I obviously had it with when I lost my husband that people from the outside were looking and being like how is she getting out of bed in the morning how is she doing this like for me obviously I made myself do a lot of things so I didn't get into that like depressed state which I could have easily fallen into and I completely get you know in the grief world how you can fall into that because it's so hard yeah that is so hard and did you get a lot of support at the time or like looking back you think of something that would have helped you more or what's your sort of advice for people well I do think that for me it was the

fact that I had obviously I've got two kids so they got me out of bed in the morning and life sort of had to continue for them but it was so hard to get myself up and out but I did it for them and I think for people around me I don't like loads of attention like that like people fussing over me so for me I was like if I get out and up then no one will ask me how I am and what I'm doing they almost will feel like oh yeah she is coping which maybe I wasn't coping but I was probably wearing a little bit of a mask at the time now I reflect back I feel like I definitely was wearing a mask but I just needed to get on with my life yeah is that balance because sometimes we need to wear a mask

to fulfill roles and keep us safe and then other times we just need to unravel a little bit and it's just trying to get the balance but what you say about kids just amazing like without kids like I've since had my own mental health scare and it's been horrendous and having my kids when you come out of something like that they're the focus you know and you just have to sort of focus on them and see the little joys and they're just amazing kids aren't they so they help a lot how old are your children how old are your babies? How old are your babies? Well, my babies are, Bonnie, my daughter's 11, and Charlie is going to be nine in a couple of weeks. So, but I'm still trying to baby them.

I think you always do though, don't you? Certainly my son. They'll always be your babies, however old they are. Yeah, absolutely. No, my little boy, he makes videos and he's like, I promise when I'm a teenager, I'll still hug you, mommy. Yes, I'm going to show you that. Does he still hug you now? So he's still he's still in the hugging stage.

Yeah. He's not embarrassed yet. No, not yet. I'll cry when he is. But yeah, they're lovely. They're lovely. They keep me keep me out of trouble. So obviously you're smashing, you you know the stigma around mental health and you've been doing it now since 2014 how do you balance that with actually being a mum yeah I think at the start I was just so all in on it and the momentum was quite different back in 2014 because not many people in Scotland were talking about it so it felt like my blog was one of the real go-to there wasn't a lot when even when I launched my podcast I felt like everyone

was like this is the first big podcast in Scotland where people are talking like that and years later there's there's more now but it was quite a busy time I found very very hands-on dad which is amazing hands-on grandparents at the time in the early stages when I was you know setting up writing the book I was also running a marathon to raise awareness I was an ambassador for various places like David Lloyd and the marathon festival so I had loads of amazing opportunities and I was just blogging and sharing them out to thousands and thousands of people which felt so good and I was interviewing so many people so I think the fact that I had the passion I had the support network and it kind of made me a better mum because when I was in with the kids you know I just felt really like proud that I'd been doing

all these things when they were either you know in nursery with grandparents with dad and the running I guess because I had to do training runs that gave me more energy um I look back that version when I did the marathon in 216 like the motivation I just I want to be her again because she was just so creative do you know what I mean I'm like I'm not saying I'm signing up for another marathon but I think I do need to do it get back into the running and be more consistent with it but it was a goal and you had an end goal to it and I think when you're working and striving for something, you've got to run the 26 miles at the end. 26.2.

The.2 really counts. I know everyone says that, let's run a marathon. They're like, the.2 is a lot. It's a killer. I love the idea of running a marathon, but I just don't know if I've got it in me. I'm not very good at running, but I love the idea of it. And when I go,'t know if I've got it in me I'm not very good at running but I love the idea of it and when I go that's the time when I get so emotional like I'm not really an emotional person but marathon day I end up just crying my eyes out the whole day like

everyone's just so brave and so inspiring that they're and I'd love to be that person but I just don't know if I could run that far do you know everyone says that I'm sure well most unless you're an athlete, but do you know what I mean? Or like professional runner, but it's just not thinking about the distance. It's breaking it down into manageable chunks, you know. That first wee run round the block

is just as important as your 10 mile training run. You're, do you know what I mean? It's seeing every run is equally important because they make you a little bit stronger. This is encouraging. I'm actually encouraging myself to start again yeah are you signing up actually a whole chapter in the book as well about running and how that helps mental health that was another thing I did so yeah just the whole journey I just loved it and then organically things happened when I did the book I started getting approached by BBC. I was doing a lot of BBC radio speaking. And then I got to do loads of speaking gigs and stuff.

So things just happen organically. And then COVID hit. And then I had my big health scare. So I was a bit of a, like, ah. How did your dad cope with COVID? Bad. Yeah, he was starting to get really good again. Now, my dad lost his eyesight when he was 19 so he's

got that added stress of not having the joy of you know seeing things and he is very independent my mum helps a lot and I think being stuck in the house really got him down like he'd gone from building himself up and you know in 2019 just he was thriving he was it was amazing to see and then 220 hit I had a health scare then the day I got out of hospital we went into lockdown so it was a lot for him that was the year they turned 70 as well so they planned to have parties and stuff couldn't do that so I think you know they say loneliness is as damaging as smoking 25 fags a day or something like that and I think he just really wanted to see people he wanted to see his family wanted to be out and yeah that did set him back quite a lot as it did so many right and I love that you just did

that fact about loneliness because I think people don't know that yeah that being lonely is like so hard I say even with like losing my partner like the evenings were just an absolute killer for me when I first lost him because obviously that's the time when you're with your partner and you talk and you catch up on the day and whatever and I felt myself putting the kids to bed and just being like just me then what am I gonna watch shall I put a reality tv show on and then it's like the phone addiction that you're saying because then what do you do you just swipe and then you're looking at other people's lives and yeah I didn't realize how lonely I would be it is hard though you know and I'm the sort that would take myself out for dinner and stuff because I used to travel a lot and sometimes I'd be on my own and I'd get used to that and reading books and things. But when you get into habits and you love someone as well and it's really, really, really tough.

Yeah, see, I'm not that person. I'm terrible. I could think of nothing worse than going out for dinner on my own. of nothing worse than going out for dinner on my own. I was actually having this conversation with someone yesterday that I held a workshop and one of the ladies said, I'm really pushing myself out of my comfort zone and I'm like going to the cinema on my own and I'm going for meals on my own. I was thinking, I just couldn't do that. Yeah.

I just feel like I would then be on my phone reaching out to other people. I wouldn't actually get the experiment of being on my own and being happy on my own. Yeah. I see a lot of people with books that go out on experiment of being on my own and being happy on my own yeah you could I see a lot of people with books that go out on their own do you like reading yeah I do quite like reading should probably read more but got two little ones so yeah yeah I know it's hard but people watch I just like sort of people watching and just yeah or journaling and things

like that take my notepad you know because I think we are talking more about mental health people are actually working on themselves doing the journaling and and I think it is amazing yeah it gets things out but sometimes it's like oh you've got to be really honest on this page and you know sometimes people just want to numb with tv or you know whatever else social media scrolling or whatever so they don't have to face these feelings and these thoughts but they always say they're better out than in right yeah I am a massive sharer I talk about everything every feeling so I think I'm really good at getting it out of how I am feeling at the time yeah no it is good it's good my dad always called me a whizzy wig what you see is what you get but I think sometimes it's hard because when you are in the public eye or whatever

and then you share things then you're like maybe a couple years later should I have said that was that too honest was that if you're an overthinker do you look back now on stuff that you did in 2014 when you first like started everything and think why did I say that or are you happy with everything you've said do you know what it's a mix sometimes I'll have the odd cringy moment and like did you actually say that and a lot of authors will say there's a period where they hate their book like they look back at their book and they hate it and I will be like I wouldn't have wrote that now because we grow and change right so I wouldn't have wrote certain things because I've you know although we've got personality we've got our qualities and stuff we do change in ways right so I'm like I wouldn't have said that that sounded cheesy that was maybe too honest that maybe hurt that but

you sort of think right I would have written it differently but that was you then that was writing it yeah and then there's a part that you've got to be compassionate to that person right and that version of you you've got to be compassionate to that version and just what's the point you know I'm just like get over it what about your chapter gold diggers would you change that oh gold diggers that's goal not gold you don't know gold diggers it's my london accent go go go probably cheesy in parts i'm sort of writing to the gold digger in me and saying you know we've we've achieved it it's kind of like motivational and i was so motivated though and like i am proud of that person because it's talking about

we can all be lazy at something right so I think it's saying like pick two goals or something like that that really means something to you because without passion we have no energy right so there's no point picking a goal that you're bored with like for me I don't really like the gym sometimes I can be really good in the gym but I don't love it I just don't love it I would prefer to be out in nature walking than spend an hour in the gym so it's okay well look at a goal around something you really enjoy do you want to climb a monroe do you and tailor it around what you get excited by there's still some good advice in that chapter I would say that I would still pick from but it's just gonna be a bit cheesy, the writing.

Oh, I love a bit of cheese. Loose Lips, the podcast where we give our expert, not-so-expert advice. Join us as we figure life out one episode at a time. Yeah, you don't want them breakdancing in the middle of Wetherspoons, do you, really? A tanned ankle, no socks, boat shoes, so they have, like, a partially tanned ankle no socks boat shoes so

they have like a partially tanned foot so you got through it yeah well i mean well we're not together now oh well yeah there is that gotta say i'm furious high five yourself boom another life saved you know find us wherever you got this podcast just search list slips for weekly topics and some seriously juicy listener dilemmas. I do think it is good to set goals. And like you're saying, I've definitely last year achieved certain goals that I didn't think I'd be able to do. Like I trekked the Sahara Desert for Copperfield to raise money for breast cancer. And, you know, when I I signed up I was like yeah yeah yeah I'll do it and then when it came to it was like oh yeah you're gonna walk like 100k each

day's gonna be like seven to eight hours walking I thought is this an achievable goal but then when I got there and I was with everyone you just do it don't you and you push your body like you're saying with the marathon yeah and the support with know? Yeah. And we actually sadly just lost, I lost one of my teammates yesterday. Hannah passed away from breast cancer. Now I'm like, I'm so happy that I got to do that. I walked with her and we raised money and raised awareness. And then, you know, it is that I didn't think last year now that I'd be sat here talking about her on a podcast and would have achieved something and now you just think that achievement was so worthwhile that I set that goal and I was like yes I'm going

to do this. I think when it has a deeper purpose right rather than just I want to lose weight or I want to do you know what I mean like people have these different goals but when there's actually a why behind what you're doing and that's such a special memory for you and you know so sorry to hear that news but that's something that you will remember and you'd be so proud of it was more to it it was deeper than just surface level goals it was something but at the time you I didn't think it was gonna be that I didn't really know what I was signing myself up for and I did it and then now I'm like I'm so grateful and thankful that I've actually done that yeah you'll remember it you'll you'll never forget it so it's inspiring for people find your why and find your people as well because being with like-minded people who who get the goal and who can push you on is so important, right?

It's so important to have that. Do you feel like you've done that over the years? Do you feel like you've created that community around you that are like-minded? Have you had to clear negative people out of your space? Or have you always had quite a positive family? I feel like your family sounds a bit like mine, that they just get stuck in and everyone's there for each other yeah I mean really lucky to have that and that love and support my mum was always like I'll be proud of you no matter what you do but you know

when I started the whole mission with wellness and meeting other influencers and authors and inspirational speakers and stuff I've met so many amazing people and continue to do so and I just feel like someone had said they were writing me a review and they were like Jojo just has that way of spotting amazing talented people and bringing them together for a shared kind of goal and I've learned so much and I brought a lot of them into the book as well because my brother was like oh how have you added all these people into the book I like to collaborate you know I mean I never want things to just be about me you know it's like I want to learn from other people and I've been so inspired and just yeah some of the people I've met just blow me away and I think you take something from other people yeah you do you

take something from everyone you meet right yeah even today this conversation like I've taken so much from you already I just feel like I sort of needed this conversation even about positivity today like it's everything happens for a reason and I I really really believe that yeah definitely I remember someone reading the book it was a neighbor actually and she said Jojo the universe brought me your book I believe I moved in next to you so I'd meet you and read the book and she'd made this massive decision life decision that blew me away and I was like are you sure like because you feel a bit you know if someone's been inspired by your work or whatever are you sure a hundred percent the universe brought me

your book and I was like okay if that's what you believe, amazing. And it can be easy to not be, you know, I'm a very spiritual person. And I've seen a lot of signs and stuff. But I believe, you know, it could be very easy to push that down. If you've got people in your life that are like, it's just a coincidence, or, you know, all that stuff. And I'm like, no, I'm gonna believe it all anyway, even if you think I'm crazy. Have you always been spiritual well I was raised in a Christian home so we went to church every week but then when I got a bit older I was like I'm really free spirit so certain things of dogma didn't suit me you know I started to be quite a rebel and ask a lot of questions and then I just kind of moved from say structured religion as you know to more spirituality and there's so many books that you can look at that show Christianity from a different light and showing you know Jesus came to teach a lot of stuff that is you know spiritual and it's not about he didn't come to

set up a religion you know many many believe this obviously many won't and I started listening to podcasts like Eckhart Tolle and Oprah and they would speak about religion versus spirituality and all that and it helped me find my own path do you know what I mean because it's a very personal thing but I just think a lot of people hate religion because of trauma they may have had in a church or feeling like they have to change who they are. And it should be about love, right? But I am 100% convinced that we are spiritual beings

having a kind of human experience. You wouldn't believe some of the signs and stuff that's happened that I know there's angels. I just love it it I'm so invested into this like since losing my partner I was that person before that me and Tom were talking I'd be like once you die you die that's it Tom and then he'd be like there's so much more you need to believe I'd be like no but then after he died he literally sends me signs all the time to the point that I'm like okay okay I know you're there.

And obviously you don't think I'm crazy saying that, but once you see it, like he used to always say this saying to me, once you see it, you can't unsee it. He was from Bolton. But it's so true because like now stuff that he shows me and shows me these signs, I'm like, I can't unsee this. You can't unsee it. And it can be hard if you

are around the skeptics because they're so closed off but when you know it's real in your heart like I remember getting a strong message from an angel and I said to the friend who was related to the angel I said you have to look out for this song and she went into the restaurant and it was playing it was like do you know what I mean yeah it's an amazing world I felt flashing lights over my bed I felt an angel speak to me in my dreams and I knew 100% what it was because I knew how it felt it's it's a feeling right it's not a yeah there's no mistaking that feeling if an angel comes I know it doesn't happen loads and loads but it's happened quite a few times in my life maybe about 10 12 times in my life like that really i'm really open to it i want an angel to come to me i'm putting it out there angels come to me do you use crystals or

do any energy yeah yeah because that lot loads of look i've got my crystals on now yeah I've got my crystal bracelets on my rings on baby broke my love crystal the other week I was like I'm gonna let her just rip it yeah but yeah and energy um I did a course with mind valley and it was about energy and when you learn about energy and feeling different energies it's amazing like because we are all energy right so it's not like so angels are a type of energy you know and it's a divine light being it's a really clear feeling it's really clear and bright and oh it's just magic but you can't explain it to the skeptics because they'll think you're off your rocker this is my life now i just think do people

think i'm mad no but you know what i i think that's in scotland in america it's probably very standard maybe england i don't know like london and stuff i don't know but there seems to be a lot more influencers pop up that are into angels and crystals and don't know but there seems to be a lot more influencers pop up that are into angels and crystals and all that stuff but it's it's a magical world it really is and for me as well like when you're talking about energy well we've really like steered I just absolutely love this that we've steered onto this now but you know even at school in science they taught us energy can't be destroyed it can only be transferred and that's like for me when you die you've got to go somewhere because we are in all

energy like you said everything's energy so you can't be destroyed your energy's got to go somewhere yeah and that's why you connect with certain people and then some you maybe i can go in a room and i can know if someone is wary of me i'll be like they think i'm too intense or i'll be like oh they've read my blog and they think i'm an idiot or what do you know but i can know if someone's being you know you can feel energy right yeah people feel it more and it's like an emotional intelligence partly too but you you feel energy you feel it and a lot of people say it goes up you know the energy goes up when you pass on I'm not sure um where do you think it goes yeah I feel like when I felt kind of spirits it would be like yeah they're coming down and I remember if I've been with

people and I felt something I've only been able to if someone's like oh can you tell me what you're feeling you know they've got to be open to it it's like if you go to a fortune teller like I went to a fortune teller with a friend and she was the one that taught me into going in 2007 and she was so close-minded in the fortune teller I couldn't get a reading whereas she gave me a really really good reading and a lot of the stuff she said is already making sense in my life do you know what I mean so yeah people are open to it but I felt like someone's grand can't people's grands come people's mum come dads like I have really really felt and sometimes it's like goose pimples up my back or down my arms or down my legs or whatever and if the people are open to it so it's yeah it's like

coming down or if there's like a song and it's funny because in reiki people can feel it right and they use crystals in reiki so they're more likely to come but I was getting a facial a luxury facial and halfway through the facial I was like there's angels in this room a hundred percent they're all around the girl who did it she knew it was quite spiritual and would want to ask me about some stuff and I was like I'm going to do that conversation after the facial you know and I was like I have to tell you right now because I couldn't lie I was like there's angels right here right now like they are in this room and it's magic so yeah sorry long-winded answer but I think kind of I get feeling like up but I don't know I'm so open to it like I said it's like but when you

said about the energies and reading people's energies it's quite funny because I feel like it's something that I've developed and I'm quite good at but my best friend's terrible so she'll go into situations and she'll be like oh and she'll be talking to someone and I'm like just sitting there and it's it's painful she'll probably be listening to this podcast laughing because I'm like not that they don't like you I'm like they are not a fan of yours or their energies are not good for you like let's like move away but she can't read it so she'll just go and like talk to anyone like she has got the best purest energy but obviously other people like reflect the negative to her and I'm like how are you not picking up on that how could you not

read their energy she's like I know I'm so bad aren't I where's her oh no I see I meet people like that and then some like they will just won't stop talking and I'm like you need to stop now not that they don't like you because that's something really horrible to say but I'm like, you need to stop now. Not that they don't like you, because that's something really horrible to say. But I'm like, they're not a fan of yours. They're looking at you and they're being quite negative towards you. So let's move away from that situation right now. Don't waste all your energy. It's not being reciprocated.

Yeah, exactly. That's the thing, right? But wouldn't it be great in life if, you know, we all had this little button. And it would go, if the energy is not reciprocated or the feelings aren't reciprocated you would just know whether that's friendship whether that's love whatever you would just know so you could just move on do you know i mean there'd be no minds there'd be no playing there'd be no manipulation there would be no romanticizing in your head about something that didn't exist there would be no

learning then would there I think we have to learn and then hopefully you don't put yourself back in that situation I mean some people are like have you not learned from the last time but you know you we put ourselves into these situations and maybe friendships I feel like as I've grown older you know I've maybe got a little bit better than that that not going back to that same friend and what I said to you about having that, then people around you, then positive people that surround yourself with positive energy. And I am all about the positive energy. And what you give out in life is what you get back. Yeah, it is true. And what you were saying when you asked me earlier about negative energy, I found that place in my life when I was putting so much positive energy out I was just

attracting positive people whether that was on the podcast writing about collaborating with and speaking events and stuff or whatever it was it was just attracting that kind of like well it's when people talk about like manifestation isn't it like manifesting but it's like it's sort of manifesting but if you put the positive out there and say what you want then hopefully it will come back to you yeah I mean I've taken it really far I've put like a little box and I've put my dreams and hopes in a box and then we're getting this little gold box and I was doing one of those manifesting and then they also said to bury some stuff in the garden so get your white your wee bits of paper and bury them and all that sort of stuff and it's it's a bit of a trip because you're like is this gonna happen you know you start to ask all these questions but

it's people really believe in it don't they yeah and for me I feel like you need to have some sort of hope and belief in something so it's what gives you peace i feel like you need to have some sort of hope and belief in something so it's what gives you peace of mind yeah you need to have something you need to have some kind of faith in a world that can be a little bit scary unfair lessons hard testing all these things you see if you didn't have faith you wouldn't get out of bed well yeah we've got we're lucky we've got gorgeous kids to get out bed for but you wouldn't get out of bed otherwise you know yeah have that faith in something it's finding your thing and clinging on to that for dear life oh jojo i feel like we're like best friends now i just like i just feel like everything you're about, I'm about. Thank you so much for joining me. And honestly, this has been such a great conversation.

Oh, no, I've loved it. Thank you for having me on. What a lovely way to start the week, like Monday morning mojo. I'm going to go a big nature walk with a puppy next and I'm going to be like, yeah, feeling great. Do you have a question you want me and my guests to answer? Get in touch by emailing askmumsthewordpod at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail on WhatsApp.

Our number is 07599927537 or leave it as a review on Apple Podcasts. Make sure you hit the subscribe or follow button so you never miss an episode if you're listening on apple podcast then please leave us a review and a five-star rating it helps others find us and talking of spreading the news please tell another person about the podcast and help us reach more people so So I've been Kelsey Parker. You can find me on being underscore Kelsey on Instagram, where I'm just being me. We'll be back with another episode, same time, same place next week. Thanks for listening.