Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - Why Dancing Awoken Something In Me - with Nana Crawford

Episode Date: June 16, 2024

On This Week's Mum's The Word:Grace Victory is joined by Jiggle Fiit's Nana Crawford (@ThisBlackWomanCan) to chat all about the beauty of dance, how to deal with getting overwhelmed & why her business is not just about people dancingThey'll Discuss:Why twerking is no easy gameThe importance of structure in family lifeHow Nana came up with the name Jiggle Fiit for the dance business?Get In Contact With Us:Do you have a question for us? Get in touch on our Whatsapp, that's 07599927537 or email us at [e-mail] for Listening---A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Mum's The Word, the parenting podcast. I'm Grace Victory and I'm your host for this week. So this week I am brown because I've been to Spain. Me and the kids went on holiday and it was lovely. Come back to England and the weather is diabolical. So I'm feeling a little bit bummed out but happy to be here today. Today's guest is Nana Crawford, better known as this black woman can on Instagram. She's a mum of two to Kiki who's nine and Cass who's seven. She says she wants to inspire people to jiggle and dance with their bodies with joy and confidence. Welcome to the podcast Nana Crawford. Welcome to the podcast, Nella Crawford.

Hi, how are you? I'm good, I'm good. I wish it was sunnier because I think the weather has really been like knocking my emotions. So I figured that I would wear this like tropical shirt just to bring some kind of sunshiny tropical vibes. Yeah. Yeah, I was in Spain recently nice I've been back for like five days and it wasn't like 30 degrees oh proper sunshine and then I feel like there's just a dramatic difference it's June and it feels like it's winter right it's really bad it is really bad and it's just

I don't I don't know how to behave and what's worse is that my kids they're very programmed into seasonal dressing so my daughter is as confused as I am because she'll wake up in the morning and she'll be like but do I wear my summer dress or should I just wear trousers and I'm like I don't know I actually don't know I put away all my um winter clothes like three weeks ago and so now I'm like fantastic so I'm like I don't know I actually don't know I put away all my um winter clothes like three weeks ago and so now I'm like fantastic so I'm just back wearing like my coats and stuff just over my outfits because it's actually like 15 degrees in June it's mental so how has the first half of the year been for you very overwhelming overwhelming. I'll be really honest. Like I planned a lot last year

for this first half of the year, thinking that once it's all planned, it just kind of falls into place, right? Because that's what you do. You plan, it falls into place. Yes. And it has fallen into place, but I felt incredibly overwhelmed by everything. And by everything, I mean, just balancing my part-time job, which I did for a charity, my dance business stuff, my own kind of dance, personal training, samba, costumes, all that kind of glamorous side, all that kind of glamorous side, being a mum to two as well, being a wife. So it's all felt incredibly overwhelming. And last month in particular, really felt it, like really, really felt it.

And I kind of shut down in a way. I was still productive, but mentally I was shut down and I was just going to promotions I feel like that's how I operate like I present like I'm like doing my thing I've got you know all different things going on the house is busy I'm running the house I've got the kids I'm like driving them to here there and everywhere working but inside I'm like I'm not okay. I feel like a lot of mothers can relate to that. So when you feel overwhelmed, what do you do? Well, the first thing I do is I break down. Because when I used to feel overwhelmed, I used to kind of tell myself that I shouldn't be feeling overwhelmed. You know, I should be

feeling grateful. I've got this amazing family, all that kind of stuff. But that wasn't actually helping me at all in terms of processing my emotions and processing the fact that I was overwhelmed. So rather than trying to kind of come out from it immediately, I just accept that I'm massively overwhelmed. And I kind of just let myself break down. And however that happens, I let it happen. I always communicate it to my husband. I always say to him, look, I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed right now. Like there's so many things happening. And he'll always say, what do you need from me? And I'll go, I don't know. Like I honestly, right now I have no idea what I need from you, but just be here

and let me just kind of break down and melt. So that's the first thing I do. And I find that once I've melted and I've realized kind of what my, I would say is the main factor of my breakdown, then I can start to kind of build myself back up and I can really look at the things that I've piled on too much of I can really sort of like take a step back and analyze the situation so the first thing I do is I break down I let myself break down and it's such a breath of fresh air to hear this because I am having multiple breakdowns at the moment but just because you know like you have to get on with things because you're a mum so you have to cook for dinner and like you're doing this you're doing that bedtime etc but then when it's quiet and my kids are in

bed I just cry like I just pause out of me as like a release like all the things I've been suppressing and I definitely can completely relate to having like a mental bee every now and then yeah and you have a seven-year-old and a nine-year-old yes doesn't get any easier because mine are one and a half and three and a half and wow I hate to break it to you it doesn't get easier it just presents new challenges right and some of those challenges you'll find like easy breezy, lemon squeezy, you know, like, oh, okay, I can relate to that. Other challenges will be new because it's new for them and it's new for you dealing with, you know, like every time. And this is the thing. So like when my daughter was eight, everything that presented then was new for her, new for me dealing with an eight year old. Now I have a nine year old. So it's different. Everything, her emotions are different. She's

studying a lot about puberty in class. So she has an endless amount of questions. And I mean, endless amount. And everything reminds her of something. So she will ask me questions about everything and anything. And sometimes I'm just like, okay, I'm not a dictionary and I'm not an encyclopedia. I can only take one question at a time and let's deal with that question. And then my son who's seven is just the most boisterous like energy ever. And I thought that as he got older, it would kind of like mellow out. Cause I see that, you know, those, my friends used to tell me that boys just chill yeah there's no chill he's not chilling he's not chilling anytime soon so it definitely doesn't get easier it just gets different and it

just presents new challenges but I find those challenges exciting and I also realize that for me it's a chance for me to grow and learn and also better myself as an individual and as a parent as well yeah I feel like I'm expecting things as they get older to be they need me just in a different way yes yes exactly that gives me a bit of hope because I feel like sometimes I feel like inadequate like I can't meet every single need to do all the time but yeah I'm like holding on and just like showing myself a bit of grace I think I'm really I think as women and mothers we can be really harsh on ourselves my friend Megan body positive um panda back from back in the day she showed me your Instagram page a few months ago.

And I was like, oh, my God, this woman is amazing. And now you're here. And I love what you do on your Instagram with your dancing. And you're such an advocate for body acceptance. Why is that? Because a lot of people aren't. They don't really understand the need to kind of like champion different body types. So tell me. What's really interesting is that,

and sometimes I'm always like, funny about saying this out loud. I love my children. I love my children. I really did not like being pregnant. I really didn't like being pregnant. I felt like it was a complete out-of-body experience for me. And often, you know, I got really, really sad when people would talk about how wonderful pregnancy is and you're growing a human and your body this and your body that. But for me, it was kind of like an alien experience. And I was not in control. I think that's what it was. I was just not in control of what was happening to my body. And that is really scary. And I feel like people should talk about that more when it comes to pregnancy. There's a lot of things that happen that you also

have no idea about. Right? Your your nose can swell your feet can grow like two sizes bigger all of these things happen you're like what nosebleeds and every time something new happened I wasn't in control of it and it really freaked me out obviously I wanted to have children otherwise I wouldn't have done it but I just wasn't aware of it. And I mean, I did it twice. I don't know why, but I did it twice. Did it once, thought, oh my gosh, what was that? Did it again, thought, oh my gosh, what was that? Both pregnancies were different. Both pregnancies were just as weird. But what it actually left me with was that afterwards, I had a complete disconnect from my body. I had a complete disconnect and I had this kind of image of

what my body should look like, based off what I'd seen on films on TV and media. And then I had this image of what my body actually looked like. And the two were completely different states. And then there was me in the middle. And I would kind of like be looking at both being like well where should I be and I went through so many like fitness things I did like fitness challenges I did like couch to 5k I did whatever it was I was like sign me up I'll do it because I was trying to obtain this image here and totally neglecting the body that was existed, the body that was left after the pregnancies. And once I got to the image that I thought was the one that I wanted, I was miserable. I was miserable because I was overworking myself. I was like just a complete fitness freak,

but in the complete wrong way. And also as part of that, I totally left this side of my body, like this body, unappreciated and unvalued. And that body was the body that carried those children, that nurtured those children, that loved those children. And I was so distant from it. So that realization for me is basically what woke me up it woke me up big time and even when I had got to this kind of fitness level type of thing that I was thinking that I wanted to get to I got to it stopped and my body just kind of completely changed again and

went back to you know like as if like pre-pregnancy. And it was just all, I was lost. That's what I was. I was completely lost. I was completely lost. And I had not only lost my feeling of like understanding my body and being in control of my body, but I'd also lost that sense of who I was. And like, you know, the fact that like, I'm now a mom and that's, that's me, that's it for me, you know, and I'm a wife, that's it for me, but that wasn't it for me. And I knew that there was more that I wanted. So that's when I started dancing basically. Cause I said to my husband, I was like, I'm not happy. And he was like, I know. And it's so funny because sometimes your partner, they know these things, but it doesn't matter how many times they tell you, you're never going to listen. He was just kind of like, I need you to realise it.

If you realise it yourself, it's like, please don't. He was like, once you realise it yourself, then you'll do something about it. And that's basically what it was for me. And then I took up dancing. And for me, that was just about reconnecting with myself and reconnecting with my body and having that relationship and understanding and also accepting that there are some days where I'm not going to completely be in love with myself right I'm not completely going to be like yay you're the best body I've ever had kind of thing there are some days where that's going to happen but it's just understanding and accepting that, acknowledging it, similar to, you know, my breakdowns, acknowledging those, and then figuring out what's the best way to move forward.

And I think pregnancy was a huge thing for me, absolutely huge thing for me. And anytime I think back to like, where was it? What was that trigger for me that made me kind of lose that connection with myself and honestly it was pregnancy and it wasn't because I was having kids it was because I was completely not in control of what was happening to my body that's how I feel about birth right interesting obviously my first birth was I was I ended up in a coma and then my second I had a hemorrhage and I feel like yeah I feel like those two births and just having an idea of what the start of motherhood should be like and then there could be in the complete opposite wow like I've completely lost control over my life and obviously you can't control children either like children are they have tantrums they've got big feelings they say no so I feel like since becoming a mum I definitely feel that way there's like loss of control and then trying to regain it in the small

windows of time yeah you haven't you haven't got them or when they're in bed or whatever so really I really get that and I love dancing and I've danced pretty much my whole life so the physical aspects of it I find really important also the mental aspect of it is that also why you find dancing like therapeutic because of the impact it has on your your mental health yeah so for me dancing has kind of like awakened something in me and allowed me to challenge myself. And I feel like that's kind of what I was missing in a sense, that sort of like, I feel like when you want to get to know more about your body, you have to put it through things that you wouldn't naturally normally do. You have to feel really awkward. You have to go to like a class and

be like, what on earth is going on here? You have to kind of be a little bit uncomfortable to realize that you're so much more capable than you thought you were. And that's what dancing for me does for me. It kind of really like reaffirms how capable I am, not just as a dancer, but just in every other aspect of my life. And I think that dance has allowed me, whenever I come up to a situation where I feel like, oh, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to cope with that. I think about how I went to a class and I was like, what is going on here? But I did it. I did the K-pop class. I might not have done it the best, but I did it it so the fact that I can do that shows that I can put that into other things into other areas and that is the thing that I would say

like for me in particular dance has really helped me manage who I am and manage what I'm capable of I honestly feel like it's made me not just a better person in a sense of knowing myself, but a better parent as well. My dance journey was basically in this kitchen that you can see behind me. That's where it started. And my son has seen that right from the start. And now he's like a little B-boy, has a little like break dancing crew, loves dancing dancing and my husband was like it's because of you like he's literally seen you dancing your entire way through like everything you know since he was like three and that's through your parenting of him and everything has been through dance whereas for my daughter it's been the other way in terms of body acceptance so for her now she will always like

look at things that she puts on and rather than being really like disheartened about things she'll just say stuff like mum there's something wrong with this t-shirt it doesn't look good on me it's not me it's the t-shirt and I'm just like yes yes you know and that's just to be nine years old and to have that understanding is something that I'm so proud of that she's kind of picked up and learned from me. Because, you know, like when we were younger, we think that we were the problem. Right. We'd be like, oh, well, we're the problem. We need to lose weight. We need to do this because we can't get into these clothes. And, you know, now she's coming up to me and she's like, I don't want this T-shirt anymore because it doesn't fit me.

My body is changing and I need a bigger T-shirt. You know, and it's just that kind of like that confidence that she has in herself is really important for me because she's going to go through puberty, which I don't know if I am looking forward to because I know what I was like when I was going through puberty. Raging hormones. Raging hormones. if I am looking forward to because I know what I was like when I was going through puberty like raging hormones I find having like having children is really is quite healing to my inner child like when my children say something I'm like wow like I can't believe how self-actualized they are because it's so safe to to be that way yeah whereas I was completely opposite as a child so I love that your daughter knows it's the clothes and

not her that's just incredible like even that lesson alone is so powerful right because like I said when we grew up we always thought it was us I mean I always thought it was me I was like well I can't I can't shop in Topshop because nothing fits me my thighs are too big therefore I need to make my thighs smaller if I'm going to be able to with my friends and shop in Topshop whereas like now if something doesn't fit me I'm just like okay whatever I'll just get something else but I didn't realize that doing that has impacted her in that kind of really positive way where she can now look at clothes and she'll put something on and she'll just be like it just doesn't make me look as fabulous

as I am and I'm like oh okay great let's move on and let's get something else that makes you look just as fabulous as you are I love that that is yeah that i thought that is like a testimony to like your motherhood and like how you're raising your children so do you have an insatiable fascination with the paranormal brace yourself for the supernatural world is about to reveal all of its secrets on the Paranormal Activity podcast. And who better to guide you through this hair-raising journey than myself, Yvette Fielding, renowned paranormal investigator. Every episode of Paranormal Activity takes you on an unforgettable adventure into the unknown. But that's not all. The true heart of this podcast lies in the stories,

evidence and questions shared by our devoted listeners. Will you dare to join me? Listen to Paranormal Activity with me, Yvette Fielding, wherever you get your podcasts from. How do you do it all? How do you balance what Nana wants to do as Nana as a mother your business jiggle fit like what how do you find the time do you drop the balls because I drop the balls all the time oh the balls are dropped you just can't see them they're like all around me on the floor just like constantly I think I would say that like I don't have the answer for everything in terms of time and when people do because that is the question I get asked the most they're like how are you doing it and I would say that like you know maybe 70% of the time I am and 30% of the time I'm not doing it I'm completely overwhelmed and have no idea what's going on,

you know, missing the fact that my son's just learned like a new breakdance trick that I haven't seen that he's been trying to show me, but I've been so focused on getting my admin done and I haven't, you know. So I think that something that has been really important for me now is prioritizing. Prioritizing what is really important right now for me now is prioritizing. Prioritizing what is really important right now for me and making sure that I focus my attention on that and not focusing on it for too long as well. I

think that that is something that I've actually learned a lot from my husband because I used to be like, why is he constantly moving from one task to the other task, the other task? Like he'll never get anything done. But he gets everything done all the time. And he used to really annoy me that he was so like on it. And I was just like, how is this? And he was like, well, I just do. If I need to send an email, I just send it. And then I close my email.

I don't bother looking at other emails. I just reply to that one email that I need to do. And that's it. And that's that. And he's like, you need to start thinking about what is it that you need to do get it and move on so yeah that's it so now I know I know is that a men thing because I'm sure honestly because I I mean I think you're probably like me where like I say say to myself, right, I'm going to spend 10 minutes tidying the kitchen. Let's say, for example, two hours later and I have like, I've kind of washed the dishes, but I've also checked my emails.

And then I've replied to my mom and then I've bought products for my hair. And then I, yeah, I have to set an alarm on my phone. So I will set an alarm for like 20 minutes when that alarm's done so I'll clean for 20 minutes and then when it's done it's done and then I've got to move on to the next task yeah I've got to like break down my day otherwise I either do like a million things and exhaust myself or I just do nothing like I just sit there yeah and still face or just I completely freeze yeah so that's the thing that I've been doing a lot lately is the freezing thing is the like I will sit and I'll open up my laptop with

the intention of getting my admin for my dance business done and then an hour pass and nothing has happened and even sometimes my daughter will come up to me and she'll be like, you know, you've been on that page for like an hour and you haven't typed anything. Are you okay? And, you know, and I always used to think that you should never really overshare with your kids about how you're feeling. But now I do share with my daughter sometimes when I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and I'll explain to her kind of why and I'll say to her yeah I was supposed to do my admin stuff but when I looked at it I just felt like I had a lot to do so I just sort of froze for a little bit and when I explained that to her once she said to me me too she was like I was trying to draw but I

didn't know what to draw and then I was just looking at my iPad thinking, what should I draw? And then she's like, half an hour went by. And then she's like, remember, you said to me, what have you drawn? And I said nothing. And then I got really upset because I hadn't drawn anything. And I was like, oh, I didn't realize that it's because you were, you know, so then it will open up that chance for us to have a conversation about what we do when we're feeling overwhelmed.

But something that we all have in the house adopted is just using our calendars properly. So blocking out the time, having all the kids' activities scheduled in the calendar, having my husband's activities scheduled, my classes scheduled. And then when we see those spaces, we can put stuff in and go, right, this is what we're going to do as a family. We're always going to have family time every night and we're going to play a game or we're going to do um listen to some music together we'll watch you know my son will put on a show i say show it's time. Okay.

Yeah. So we'll do so. I've embraced. So the two main things I've embraced is making sure that when I want to do a task, I only focus on that task and then using my calendar to its maximum and having everything's color coordinated. so I can look at my calendar and I can be like, great. If it's not in the calendar, it's not going to happen. It has to be in the calendar. My lists have got lists. Otherwise, my brain will be just mush. I have to have it out. All the thoughts just dump somewhere else.

Like it has to be in the calendar. And if it's not in the calendar now it just doesn't happen and sometimes I have to apologize to people if I miss things because it just hasn't been in my calendar and it's never been my intention to purposely miss things it just wasn't in the calendar so I just didn't see it 100% it didn't happen so juggle fit is your business yes dance yes tell me about that because I feel like you just bring joy to everyone and you yeah empower women of different ages and and children and you are just I find your Instagram page just very uplifting oh I don't always get that from Instagram pages at the moment. So tell me about your dance company, how it started.

Well, obviously we know because of postpartum, but how it came to be and the future. What do you see for yourself next? So before it was actually just called Dance With Nana because I used to get messages on Instagram from people just being like, I want to dance with you. And the more I did the classes, so I did, so I mainly do twerk classes, the more I did them, the more I just realized how much joy people were having in the class. And I kind of realized that actually it's not about people dancing with me it's just about people

dancing and being with themselves and being supported by other people so it needed a new name and when I tell you the again the overwhelming feeling of trying to come up with a name for this business was just so much back and forth so much this and it was actually my daughter who came up with the jiggle for the first bit because she was like well when you do your online classes she was like you're constantly shouting jiggle jiggle jiggle this jiggle that can you feel the jiggle is it jiggling so I was like do I say it that much she She was like, yes, mum, you do all the time. So she was like, what about something to do with jiggle? And I was like, well, that's perfect.

That's perfect because that's what everyone in life should feel happy jiggling and free to jiggle and embrace jiggling. And then the fit was because as part of like my classes, I ended up doing my exercise to music qualification so that I could become a fitness instructor. And I really wanted it to be almost like a way for people to look at exercise differently. And you know, like how I was saying earlier that when I was going through that kind of signing up for all these fitness things, runs, all that kind of stuff, none of them were really working for me. And I think that's why I was switching quite a lot. Whereas Jiggle Fit is about offering people lots of different things that people are looking for. So some people are just looking for connection and the classes offer

that. They have a great vibe of people that are there for themselves and there to support each other. For those who are looking for fitness, it offers that because twerking, let me tell you, twerking is no easy game. And I think people who think it's just like, oh, it's like a two-step, it's not a two-step, okay? It's like, it's a foot-on fitness class. And then you've got the kind of,

it also offers people a way to kind of, again, similar to my journey, find out more about their bodies, challenge themselves, try something new. And that's what I really want Jiggle Fit to be and to grow. And the joy, I just think that I've always thought that I'm quite a joyous person. And I just really want people to feel that joy, feel that joy in themselves and feel really proud of themselves as well. That's also the most important part of it. And that's why I was like dance with Nana kind of has to go because it's not about me. It's about everyone who comes to this space. And I think that jiggle fit is really nice because it feels joyful. Who doesn't want to jiggle? You

know, I haven't met anyone who's just like, I don't want to jiggle. Why would you not want to jiggle in life? You know, in general general it was like really freeing to like feel like that your boobs just like bounce everywhere like everything all your fat just like ripple it does it feels good it does feel good but it's also for a lot of people really unnatural it's really unnatural because we've had lots of messages about things being tight and toned and ripped and this kind of stuff. But I want to break free from that and say that even if you do want to feel, you know, want to have a kind of sense of tightness and toneness and stuff, but it's still OK to jiggle. And jiggling is a very joyful, empowering thing that people should feel and not feel judged as well. thing that people should feel and not feel judged as well because the one thing that I hadn't really prepared myself for was when I started posting on Instagram and my videos

started to kind of go viral the amount of comments from people who didn't think that what I was doing was beneficial to society whatsoever. I've seen you post about these, like what? The people who say it's not a real job. I'm like a disgrace to the black female community. And I'm just like, really? I'm just trying to spread jiggly joy. Seriously. And I generally think that for some people, and especially must be those people who aren't fully in themselves and happy with themselves

to see a group of women shaking their ass unapologetically can feel really like confronting right it can kind of awaken something into you and you can just be like oh i don't like this please don't stop doing this but it's like have you tried it you know and i always think have you tried it have you tried gone you know and I always think have you tried it have you tried gone to a class and just been like you know what I'm just gonna you know shake a little something over here because I think that the world would be much better off and people would be happier if every day people spent a little bit of time just jiggling their bodies I think also like not even just because of like the joy but also it literally

can move like suppressed emotions and like trauma and like there's this position that I sometimes do without even realizing like I'm cleaning the floors because the kids have like just made a complete mess and I'll squat and I can literally feel the tension leave my hips. I can feel it. So yeah, I just think dancing is freedom, isn't it? It's expression. It is. And I would say that like, when I think about the future of Jiggle Fit,

what I want it to stand for is I just want people to understand that exercise doesn't have to be so strict and it can be joyful and it can be movement that's unexpected for you as well. And I would love to eventually do like a world tour and take jiggle fit worldwide and spread jiggles and joys all across the world. But I'd also love to be able to do that by collaborating with lots of different fitness just because I see people doing similar stuff to me and I'm just like oh I love this and I I'd love to be able to do that and connect with people and I I do genuinely love that when people message me and say stuff like you know I didn't think I could for example

take up samba but then I saw you doing it and your body's really similar to me. And now I feel capable of doing it. And that means the world to me, because if I can just change one person's perception of themselves, then I've done my job, essentially, right? I've done my job. And that is something that I never would have thought, you know, four years ago, me would have been able to do because she was kind of stuck in that place but now I'm in a positive place a good place and I want others to be in that space as well I've loved our conversation and I feel that you are very passionate about what you do and it's just so nice to see that so before we go where can people find you people can find me on instagram i have two

pages so if you want to kind of know more about my life my ins and outs my ups and downs then they can follow me on this black woman can on instagram or tiktok if you are just about the jiggles and you want to see lots of women of all different shapes and sizes happily freely enjoying themselves then they can find jiggle fit with two eyes on instagram but also they can come just google this black woman can or jiggle fit on instagram or google and i'll i should come up my daughter says she Googled me the other day and I came up, so it's all good. According to her, I'm famous, so. Thank you so much, Nana.

It was amazing to speak to you. Thank you. Thanks for listening to Mums The Word, a parenting podcast. We love to hear from you. Get in touch on WhatsApp where you can send us a voice message for free at 07-599-927-537 and email us at askmumsthewordpod at gmail.com

we'll be back with another episode same time same place next week