Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - Why Pregnant Women Need To Be Taken More Seriously - with Susie Verrill

Episode Date: July 14, 2024

On This Week's Mum's The Word:Kelsey Parker is joined by journalist turned social media influencer Susie Verrill on this week's podcastThey'll Discuss:What being a parent alongside Greg Rutherford is like?Why pregnant women aren't supported enough?Why having a third baby isn't as bad as people think?Get In Contact With Us:Do you have a question for us? Get in touch on our Whatsapp, that's 07599927537 or email us at [e-mail] for Listening---A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Mum's The Word, the parenting podcast. I'm Kelsey Parker and I'm your host for this week. This week I want to tell you about my little Bodie because his improvement at football has been massive and his confidence has grown. And yeah, I'm just so proud of him because there was a time where I thought is he going to actually be any good at football I know he's only three but he would walk around the class pretending to sleep those that have listened to this pod before but honestly his improvement has been absolutely massive and yeah it's just that proud mum moment. Today's guest on Mums the Word is Susie Verrill. She's a social media influencer. She's sharing all things fashion, lifestyle and parenting.

After working as a journalist for several magazines, Susie created her own blog to document her journey into motherhood. Susie's also spent time creating engaged community on Instagram, using the platform to share her life experiences and document her honest journey through pregnancy and parenthood. Welcome to the podcast, Susie. How has your motherhood journey been? We like to talk motherhood. This is a mixed bag. It's a a mixed bag i feel like when i look back at how i was with my eldest to how i am now so how old is your eldest so he's nine coming up

for ten yeah and then i've got which seems crazy and then i've got a six-year-old who's almost seven and a three-year-old and we were living a very different life when we first had our eldest we were traveling a lot and it felt quite hectic I didn't really have a support network I was a lot younger um and new to everything I thought that I'd kind of go into it I did a lot of babysitting and I've got like nephews and I was like I'll be okay I know like the bare minimum I've got quite a lot of patients and then you just feel like you're thrown in don't you and you're like actually I mean I don't think anything will prepare you like I've literally had a performing arts school since I was 21 and nothing prepared me to be a mum of my own children you don't give back to anyone you're like no they're mine

yeah it's full on oh it is full on you have. Did you feel like the littlest, like, what was your hardest transition? Zero to one. Zero to one. Yeah, my friend said that. Yeah, I found that the hardest because just everything changed. Like, my body changed and what we did with our lives changed and there was no downtime. And I just thought, oh, my God, like, this is it now forever.

Like, this is, it's going to be like this. And one to two was a relatively small gap, but not that bad. You know, the two years. So it was busy, but I kind of, we, we'd got our groove and we knew what we were doing. And then third is, third's fine. Like she just is along for the ride. She's looked after by the other two. Third just has to get on with it.

It's like, right, come on. Yeah. along for the ride she's looked after just has to get on with it it's like right come on yeah like third one honestly like it's it hasn't changed our routine our lives at all it's just if anything it's made it nicer we've got a girl it's quite a different dynamic but otherwise the boy is good with her they are great with her yeah i do have to say to them sometimes like don't let her boss you around you know you have to stand your ground a little bit don't be worried about upsetting her or letting her get away with things because she can be a bit of a scamp but they're so good with a woman she is a woman she's gonna be bossy she's gonna tell him what to do yeah she's very determined but she just gets stuck in it's really nice three you know it's a nice number but it's not it's no different i don't think to having two when people say you've got

three i'm like yeah but you know for those people that have got two it's just as it's the same people got all the car but hotel rooms they hotel rooms is a different story but again you can muddle just put one in bed with you yeah at the moment but i mean we can't do that for much longer we'll just have to save up just won't go on holiday actually talking about sleeping together you are a massive advocate for co-sleeping yes i yeah i was accidentally a massive fan of co-sleeping just because it was all we could do to get some sleep. We went into parenthood very much like, we'll buy the cot, we'll buy the Moses basket. And our eldest just, he wouldn't sleep in it. And I have done, have had this conversation on panels and on podcasts before. And if there's

another parent, they will always say, we were really strict. We were really strict with our children and they slept in a cot. And it's not we we didn't try believe me like I didn't want a child in bed with me up until that point I'd read just horror stories and the midwife telling me please don't go sleep and we didn't go into it wanting to do that but it was the only thing that meant that we all got rest and actually it really worked I was breastfeeding so just shove it in there just roll over shove it in I've read up on how to do it safely and actually if you're given the right tools and you're given the right advice it can be done safely and we've done it with all of our children. Till what age? What age do you chuck them out? Normally till about two, two and a half. Were they all happy with the transition

when you then put them into their own beds? Yeah, they were. There was obviously that point where I did have to sort of lay down with them and give them a snuggle and wait till they fell asleep. But I mean, that's kids. Like my nine-year-old now, he'll be like, oh, are you going downstairs?

Don't embarrass him on the podcast no i will because i want him to stop doing it uh no but he'll you know he'll see me going downstairs and i'll put my youngest bed and be like you want to come and hang out with me and they everyone likes to have a bit of company at bedtime so there's always like it's a little bit wobbly but the transition in general they're very solid sleepers they're happy they're content and they weren't sort of pandering for it once i'd said right we're all going to have our own beds now so i think you've got to do what's right for you exactly and with mine as well aurelia was awful yeah

exactly yeah exactly and the thing is I'm not here saying everyone needs to share a bed everyone needs to co-sleep like you I just want people to do whatever you know so they can just get some sleep that's the main thing because you feel awful going into this motherhood journey and you're just exhausted and there's no point everyone just being miserable so if there's something that works then why not research and be given a leaflet on how to do it safely and it's an option because people will do it anyway and then they'll do it in an unsafe way yeah so even for. Even for my Bodhi now, so he's three, he goes through stages. So he was a great sleeper, always did sleep in his cot,

did the next to me. And then, actually when he moved into his bed, he knew he could then get out and that I had a space next to me. Yeah. So he slept with me all the time. Then I've like,

tried to get him back into his bed. So we go through like a month and he's like, mum, I'm sleeping in my own bed. I'm yes well done and then like now he's back into then getting in bed with me I think they're like well actually this week they've all they've both taken turns okay one night it's like they know as well yeah oh she's not in it tonight I'll get in it like they literally like take it in turns but oh I love I do actually love it as well I always be

the mom be like no no wouldn't have the kids in bed with me but it's just me on my own so i'm like get in bed with me and have some mummy loving yeah it's nice everyone likes a bit of company at bedtime it's cute especially from like small little humans that you can just move over scooch over when you need a bit of space it's lovely so yes i do support it i don't think there's anything wrong with it there doesn't need to be any shame around it um but again it's not for everybody and i think again you do you that's it exactly motto in life you do you ham exactly so how have your pregnancies been have they all been the same with all three no so my first pregnancy, I suffer with a condition called hyperemesis gravidum, and it's essentially extreme nausea and sickness. It comes with other, it's like a catalogue of symptoms that you can get, but they're the main ones.

And you only get that in pregnancy? Yes. And you had it on every pregnancy? that in pregnancy yes um and you had it on every pregnancy no I wouldn't say actually that I had uh so we're gonna just we're just gonna shorten it to hg for the purpose of this conversation yes quite a long quite a long time yes I don't say that I had hg in my first pregnancy because actually I only felt sick up until week 10 so I just had 10 weeks of it and that was you know when I could look at my other two pregnancies I was very minimal and the symptoms really weren't that extreme the second pregnancy just hit me like a ton of bricks and the third one I was then under a specialist so that going into it I could be given medication

and support ahead of the symptoms sort of settling in because the earlier that you can kind of try to combat everything that comes with it the better so pregnancies are not fun for me personally no but the births were good no the uh first birth was traumatic can i just say that there's hardly anyone that ever comes in this podcast and says that they had a lovely birth i can imagine yeah i feel like everybody has trauma somewhere, don't they? Yeah. But what do you think that's due to? Honestly, I feel like pregnant women and women in labour aren't taken seriously. They aren't listened to. And unless they've got an advocate who is really strong on what the woman in question needs and wants if they aren't able to voice it themselves

I think it's very easy for healthcare professionals to just glaze over and let things go wrong that's not me saying that healthcare professionals aren't doing the very best that they can but I do think we know our own bodies and I do think particularly if we've been pregnant before or given birth before then we know when things are going wrong or going right and I do think we should be listened to I think a lot of it is around money and I'm in a position where I'm fortunate I was able to go private for my second and third birth that's not the case for everyone English is my first language we know that the death rates for women who are black are so much higher than those who are white and I do think there's a massive problem with giving giving birth in this country

I think everyone does probably have not everybody but a lot of people have a trauma story and they're not really taken seriously it's funny though I was birthing partner for actually well my best friend Rosie my best friend Kelsey Rosie I've done both of her children I was her birthing partner and then my friend Kelsey and because I was there and I knew exactly what they wanted they did actually have great births because like you're saying someone being the voice I mean Rosie's first birth they were asking me if i was a doula and i was like no not a doula i could be this could be a career for me but i knew exactly what rosie wanted i mean the second one was extreme i was like oh rosie like she wanted me

to burn the cold and do all this actually we did go a bit off piece i was like let's just cut the cold let's just calm down like you've literally just been through labor let's cut the cold yeah but she didn't want hands-on she wanted like it at home she got everything she wanted because i was there even after she gave birth they really wanted to rush her into hospital and i was like she's opted for a home birth for a reason she wants to be at home like let's just wait and then they did sit it out and we waited half hour because she basically was feeling faint. But it's like, of course she does. She's just literally used all of her energy to give birth.

And they actually did weigh and she stayed at home and she had the most perfect birth. But I think you really have to push. And I guess knowledge, knowledge is king, isn't it? And yeah, and I think women have to go into labour knowing that they have choices as well. And I think sometimes we don't know that we sort of think, okay, we're being told this is the way it's going to go. And this is what might happen. And it's a tricky one, because you are in the hands of professionals, and you want to listen to what they're telling you. But at the same time, professionals and you want to listen to what they're telling you but at the same time there are choices that you can make i remember with me though uh i did the hypnobirthing but my hypnobirther said you wouldn't just go and buy a house would you you wouldn't just be walked

around the house behind a state and you go all right yep i buy it you ask questions like you don't just go into it being like yeah like it like it. You ask so many questions, don't you? If you're like, if you're buying a car, whatever you're buying. I had a friend that gave birth at the Portland and she's paid for that birth. She had a great birth because in her head she paid for the birth. And unfortunately, that was kind of how I viewed my labor. Because it's like, it is mindset as well. Because you're thinking in your head, well, I'm paying for this.

It's going to be amazing. Yeah. Which isn't how it should be. I mean, yeah. She was like, I'm in it for the afternoon tea afterwards. I was thinking, I don't know how you could eat afternoon tea after you've given birth. Did you?

So our afternoon tea was the day after. The first day I had jelly and it was great. But I'm that person after I've given birth. I literally literally i'm a really sicky person in day to day like i could be sick at any occasion like if i'm tired i could be sick if i'm feeling nervous i'm sick like i had everything in my stomach yeah and straight after i gave birth i was like oh my god i just want to be sick i just want to be i can't eat anything i want to be sick yeah although i had cesareans for the second and third yeah so you do feel differently do you have you had a cesarean no you do feel differently when you've had a natural abdominal labor yeah yeah you do feel different how do you feel well first time around because it was traumatic i felt like i'd been attacked

with a machete i felt terrible i honestly it's i with, you know, full power behind my voice. The first experience of giving birth for me was the worst day of my life. It was awful. I hated every second of it. And I thought I was going to die. And I was actually very comfortable with that, which is something that I had to kind of work through that kind of brought quite a lot of trauma. Why did you feel like you was going to die die because the pain or just because it was all going wrong it went really wrong so I my waters had broken two days before I gave birth they were leaking and when I mentioned it to a midwife who wasn't my usual midwife it was suggested that maybe I'd wet myself and I thought well I don't think I have but then turns out they

were leaking again with your first you don't know what to you don't you kind of like well maybe you haven't seen down there is this normal you don't you don't know am I wetting myself am I I'm like down there I haven't seen it in months it could be leaking out we don't know I haven't seen my mum after I gave birth kit going to me have you not had to look if you know I was like I'm not getting a mirror and I'm not looking down there Diane no she was like oh I had to I had to have a look I can't even imagine how that looked so no no I didn't I didn't but no they I got to the hospital they had no beds they put me out in the courtyard I was mooing I was like just they they said to me look your waters have only just broken at

home nothing's gonna happen but you were moving I was mooing I'd had diarrhea like I was on the phone to my mom and I was like the contractions are coming really quickly and she was like I feel like you should go to hospital and they they were going to turn me away they got me you know out in the garden so I wouldn't keep putting everyone off and then they brought me in they were like oh she's five centimeters yeah you were that person that no one wants next to him going like oh it sounds so bad listen to her next door he sounds awful she's making a lot of odd noises yeah and he he got stuck and I had an epidural but um it was put in wrong So it didn't actually relieve any of the pain. I just had a foot that was kind of really floppy.

So they wouldn't let me move. That's so weird, isn't it, as well? That must just be a weird feeling. Yeah. So it was only a foot numb? It was just my foot that was numb. And I kept saying, like, please can I have some sort of pain relief? And they were like, well, no, because we've given you the epidural.

And we know that your foot's wonky but we can't actually we're not actually allowed to give you anything else so they gave me a second one and that didn't do anything either and do you reckon you're just bodies like i think they know the woman who did it had been on call for i think it was i feel like 22 hours it's a long time she basically admitted to putting it in wrong took twice yeah twice yeah because they put they put something in i'm not a medical professional so i have no idea what i'm talking about but they put something in yeah that stays at home can't actually see the hand gestures i'm getting here they put something in they put something in your back and it stays there and then

they like administer and re-administer through that one port I want to say I think so it didn't do anything and then all of a sudden I got to a point where I was genuinely thinking I would rather die and that is actually a very frightening thing to look back on and think wow that was my better option but do you know there is a stage so if you do see a doula they have these beads and that is a bead that is a bead that you hit that you think i cannot do this i absolutely am like done yeah and then you push through that bead and then you're that that that stage where it then happens the the bead stage is like the bit before you think I can't it's just it's just horrendous it just every part of it when I look back I'm like none of that was

the magical experience that they sell you and then everything went wrong about seven people came in the room and said look you've got to have forceps we haven't got time to get you down to surgery we're going to do it here my partner was kind of ushered to one side and told just so you know baby could die mum could die baby could have cerebral palsy we need you to sign this form greg was like oh my god this sounds good i can't where do you want my autograph well that sounds great i'll just let her know yeah babe you know the birthing plan yeah it's not it's not going to plan right now but i guess they have to cover their backs i'm guessing all of this what they say is to cover their backs yeah they have yeah they have to do that. But as a, for like mindset, that is like, what does Greg do?

Greg cries. Yeah. Well, I don't think there would be a lot of men that would stand there and be told that information and not. No. Because they think the worst. And also, they're not in your body and they don't know what you're feeling either. And the whole thing just looks horrendous, doesn't it? Well, exactly.

And he was just crying and leant over and was just going i need you to tell me what to do i need you to tell me what to do and at this point obviously i am sort of half not really conscious and half i just shouted like get them to do it. Because there was nothing else left for me. There was no other option. And they sort of, they slapped me on the face with this big wet cloth and said, look, if you want forceps, you want this baby out, you have to wake up. Because you have to push with us. Otherwise, there'll be serious problems with us pulling on the baby's head.

And yeah, then he was out. And I was like, what? What happened? What happened to me? What the hell happened? And they were like, oh, baby's fine. I was like, well, I'm glad he's all right. I feel awful.

And now I've got to look after him. I was just sat there and then obviously, then I want to get the baby on the boob. And I just wanted to. It's a lot. It's so much. Literally, after you've given birth, I remember i had all

like everything in me like those drips and whatever else my kidneys had gone into shock and then they're like right baby needs feeding i'm like oh no what yeah you just want to be left alone i feel like anyone that's actually pregnant and listen to this like just be prepared that when that baby comes out it's going straight on the boob yeah straight on the but oh they like fish around for it don't they like where are those massive pregnant nipples get them out and they don't you know they're right on in there which is good because i didn't want to have to get it out myself i was i was probably just laying there just i had my mum brutal dying she was like boob out get the baby on the boob yeah i actually needed that though yeah i need i needed that because I felt like you.

Yeah. Like horrendous, like, oh my God. You're really thrown into the deep end, aren't you? Whatever happens.

Yeah, whatever, I think even if, the C-section, anything you go for, you're like, wow, I don't think anything

can prepare you. No. It is the greatest gift. Like, we've really, like, put some people off today, haven't we?

But, it's the greatest gift that you could ever have your children. But it's just... It's just a lot. It's a lot to prepare for and you can't prepare for it, I would say. Do you have an insatiable fascination with the paranormal? Brace yourself for the supernatural world is about to reveal all of its secrets on the Paranormal Activity podcast.

And who better to guide you through this hair raising journey than myself, Yvette Fielding, renowned paranormal investigator. Every episode of Paranormal Activity takes you on an unforgettable adventure into the unknown. But that's not all. The true heart of this podcast lies in the stories, evidence and questions shared by our devoted listeners. Will you dare to join me? Listen to Paranormal Activity with me, Yvette Fielding, wherever you get your podcasts from. Anyway, talking about Craig. Yes. How is he? How does he cope with parenthood? Craig's good. Craig's got a hooping cough so he's,

yeah, so he's like 10 weeks in, still coughing like a trooper, being sick, going bright red, not breathing. So he's obviously not working or anything?

No, well he's not doing live TV because he's had to put a lot of that off air just because it's not pleasant to listen to but no, he's doing alright.

He's, yeah, we're good. I like to think we're a nice little partnership. he's like a big child probably which is i think a lot of men yeah i mean i gotta get myself out of the trouble here because i literally are like the women yeah no he's like he's your um full child he is yeah he's um no he's great he's he is great in a lot of ways and he's a feminist and he's he does all the cooking in the house and he's a great example of like

how to be a man how to be a dad you know he's very loving affectionate and i really love that for him and for us and for the kids that's great he's also a massive pain in the ass he's also we're fairly certain he does have adhd and i think that in some ways has driven him to do great things it's also driven him to want to mow the lawn at like nine o'clock most nights of the week and do things like go and buy speakers when we've got people coming around in 10 minutes. Oh my God, Greg and Tom. Like, that was Tom. And Tom was definitely on that, like, never been tested, definitely ADD, ADHD, would do things like that.

Like, if he's jet washing, he's jet washing everything for the next three days and that's all he's doing. Did you find it exhausting or did you find it quite endearing? I loved it all, but obviously if he was focused on something, say, like, like studio he would be in that studio for like 12 hours not eat not do anything else yeah that's all he was doing yeah but then if he wasn't he'd be like here there and everywhere yeah like even for tom like the ladies at the local sainsbury's knew him so well because he actually couldn't cope with going down getting like breakfast lunch and dinner he'd go get his breakfast go back buy his lunch with them and go back and buy his dinner

and I'm like they knew you more than me yeah because he'd been there all the time he couldn't he couldn't go oh forward thinking go up right I'm gonna get the days or the week shop no that's that's very similar with Greg he kind of lives in the moment and problems will sort of crop up five seconds before we've got to leave I mean like we went to a festival last year and I'd got all the kids clothes ready for the you know over a few days I'd got my outfits ready if I'd needed anything I'd ordered it and we were just about to go and he's like I haven't got a belt and I was like well it doesn't matter doesn't really matter yeah we're going to a festival like just is there

something else you can wear or could you just not wear a belt because really who're going to a festival. Just, is there something else you can wear? Or could you just not wear a belt? Because really, who's going to see it? And he was like, no, I'm really fixated on the belt. And then on the way to the festival, we had to do a detour

to like a shopping mall so that we could all get out of the car, walk around and find a belt that he liked for a festival, which he wore. And I don't think anyone saw it. I don't think there was, you know,

people go around going, I love Greg Rutherford's belt. That that was so I'm so glad he got that otherwise otherwise his outfit would have looked shocking like it it's things like that like he's he is wonderful and there's so much that I think he gives to our kids but yeah he is like the fourth child yeah yeah it is it like literally you're describing Tom like that is Tom that everything's got to stop and it'd be like right we've got tom like that is tom that everything's got to stop and it'd be like right we've got to go and do that for him or like i'd be ready to go out for a night out and obviously for us girls it takes us a little bit of time this obviously

before kids and then like 10 minutes before i'm like are you not gonna get ready yeah and then like then he like would delay the whole thing makes you it makes you late. And I'm like, I like to be on time to places. Yeah, we're always late. And that is because of Greg. And I guess he probably comes across as the fun, energetic one. But a lot of it is like frenzied. And I find it quite full on sometimes. And I have to.

How long have you been together? 11 years. Yeah. And it's, you know, it's great fun when you haven't got kids because then it is exciting. And when they're being that sort of person, you can kind of just let them do their own thing. But then when it affects the kids,

you do have to be a little bit like, right, well, I'm putting all of us in line. I need you to just take care of yourself. You do you, hon. You do you. I'm going to go in another car and I'll meet you there. Yeah. Yeah. You have to do that though, don't you? You do. Because otherwise you wouldn't get anywhere. No, hun. You do you. I'm going to go in another car and I'll meet you there. Yeah. Yeah.

You have to do that though, don't you? You do. Because otherwise you wouldn't get anywhere. No, exactly. Or do anything. So when you first had your first child, you travelled a lot. Yeah. So Greg was a professional athlete at that time.

So he was doing warm weather training. He'd do that for a period of like four months. Because obviously you can't do warm weather training in England. because there is none so you'd yeah he'd go to what are you talking about we've got our first bit of sunshine i know it's a lovely day today great for long jumping today so i didn't realize when i got together with him i was sort of like oh so you have the olympics and then do you have anything else like oh you what you train you look like the olympics for four years and there's a whole circuit, like, throughout the year. There's all different leagues and meets.

And, you know, you'd be in Switzerland, and then you'd be in Australia, and then you'd be here and there. And there's loads of... Were you into anything like that before you actually met him? No. How did you two meet? Just through a mutual friend.

Yeah, I wasn't into... I actually missed Super Saturday because I was at a wedding. And the only recollection I have is going home that night, my mum going, oh, Jess Ennis won and Mo won and a really smiley ginger man won, which was so nice. And I was like, oh, OK, cool. So no, I didn't know anything about athletics, which he probably liked. I think when we got together, it is it's a whole thing like he was always busy and uh when we first got together I would go with him and then when we had Milo then Milo would come so where would he have to train

what did you say so he'd do his warm weather training in Arizona so we'd normally be there about four months of the year but then he you know we could be anywhere and we'd we'd kind of go all over and it was a lot of fun like you know Milo got to go to lots of places that he can't remember but you've got the pictures to show we've got the pictures and then obviously you know Greg retired when our middle child was sort of one and a half so they got to see a little bit of him competing but yeah then the sort of traveling in that sense kind of died down and now it's just sort of holidays and we still go back to Arizona and that's where we got engaged so you've got a nice connection there now but we

don't need to go for the training we don't need to go for months we don't need to we don't so really you're the support but like I think behind every man is a strong woman supporting and I guess you was the massive support for him to get him through it all yeah well I think well you know how it is like they have they have one persona that that's going on and then when they come home there's someone else and you're kind of they're still normal aren't they like they're it's there's still a real sense of kind of they're still normal aren't they like they're it's there's still a real sense of normality back at home and things are still having to tick over and you've still got family and friends and pants that need washing and you know it's like

I remember once he went out to Dubai for a warm weather camp we were having our house renovated and I had the two kids we were living in our kitchen and it was freezing because we didn't have any heating and there was I woke up and came downstairs and there's a dead mouse on my handbag and I was just like Greg was putting up like him out in Dubai in this hotel on like Instagram and I was just like I actually hate him this is awful this is like terrible and I just moved in with my mum but you know there's normality

happens around all the exciting stuff like things like the award shows that you go to and the TV that you do and the radio and there's still kids that need their bums wiping at home dinners that need cooking and it's all going on isn't it yeah and i think they miss out on you

know tom missed out on a lot whilst he was in the band because he had to be there yeah and then i'll be like well i'm still gonna go to the wedding or go to the birthday party or go to whatever so i did a lot on my own yeah but yeah they miss out because obviously they are in like a training camp or they're on tour or whatever else they have to be there don't they yeah and I think as well as the as the partner and the one behind the scenes you'll know that not all of that stuff that they're doing actually they're enjoying some of this stuff that they weren't enjoying at the time either like they went and did it because it was a job and also because it was a passion there was a lot of it that was actually probably quite hard for them

and that they didn't enjoy so I guess you end up being a bit of an anchor don't you yeah massive anchor that's what I'm saying that you're there and you're supporting and that's like even for me now in my career like I supported Tom so much and now it's like my time really because I was the person behind him to get him to where he was yeah and even to what we've like created the life and the family and stuff that we wouldn't have been able to do that if we both did what tom did do you know what i mean yeah yeah you get what i'm saying i totally get it yeah now it's your time to shine yeah yeah but as parents you really get along and do you agree on everything no who's good cop who's bad cop no who's good cop who's bad cop see now I think this is quite unusual Greg is actually bad cop yeah and I do tend to hear it the other way around but he's quite commanding and he's quite firm and

he's quite set in his ways and also and I will hold my hands up to this and I do always feel bad if I told the kids off he would have my back and he would be like you listen to your mummy you know she you need to listen to her if he tells them off i'm like oh all right like give him a minute like just let him be i don't think that's a mum thing though do you think i don't think it's a mum thing i get really offended i'm like i'm i'm allowed to get you're not allowed to tell them off no i'm not having, I get that from my friends. Do you? Like, that they'll be like, oh, I really had to, like, support and back him when he was making, you know, when he was shouting at the kids or telling them off.

But really, you want to go, no, no, no, I'm the only one in this house allowed to tell them off. Don't you dare. Yeah, and quite often Greg will be like, you really need to have my back. And I'm like, oh, I do. I do need to. But in the I'm like oh I do I do need to but in the moment but what's he stripped about all the good stuff in fairness you know he's like with manners and he doesn't you know there's back chat I get towards mummy he doesn't like it and he's quite I suppose because he's got a lot of energy you know if there's kind of

grumbling or complaints he'll be a bit like come on like suck it up get on with it he's quiet i guess well he's got a sportsman mentality as well he's like what's he like at sports day as well oh we don't have any parent participation at our sports day none at all he'd whitewash it though he would yeah but what does he feel about the boys is he like quiet so our eldest is very sporty our middle child not so much he's more kind of creative and he does like sport but i don't think he'd ever like it competitively i think he would do it as he's just very keen for all of our kids to enjoy moving their bodies yeah he doesn't need it to be competitive doesn't need for it to go any further than that but he's just really keen they find something that keeps them healthy he's quite refreshing for a sportsman in fairness because he's not like really rigid on diet he likes to

enjoy himself and he does have other passions and interests like he loves history loves metal detecting and all that so you're really selling it i know he loves it don't listen to this podcast no he's cute he has nice he's cute he likes metal detecting he does he has nice passion he goes out of a metal detector he does along with our oldest son who is now interested or he also does it's really into mudlarking so they go along the thames and they look at what's been washed up and it's because he loves history so it's nice he yes yeah that's lovely he encourages sport but he also encourages other things they just you know what that our kids are kind of leaning towards and yeah we'll see what happens oh i love that yeah anyway thank you so much thanks

thanks for having me thank you we've had a right little both off to do the school run yeah off to do the school run now we've had a right little gossip and catch up and spoke wonderfully about lots of different things do you have a question you want me and my guests to answer get in touch by emailing askmumsthewordpod at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail on WhatsApp. Our number is 07599 927 537 or leave it as a review on Apple Podcasts. Make sure you hit the subscribe or follow button so you never miss an episode. If you're listening on Apple Podcasts podcast then please leave us a review and a five-star rating it helps others find us and talking of spreading the news please tell another person about the podcast and help us reach more people so i've been kelsey parker you can find me on being underscore

kelsey on instagram where i'm just being me. We'll be back with another episode, same time, same place next week. Thanks for listening.