Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - YOUR Best Mum Fails - with Georgia Jones & Kelsey Parker

Episode Date: May 5, 2024

On This Week's Mum's The Word:Georgia Jones & Kelsey Parker break the brilliant news that here at Mum's The Word we're going to be official partners of the Baby Show with Lidl GB starting with the the NEC Birmingham THIS weekend.Remember the first 20 people to use the code MUMSTHEWORD will receive a pair of complimentary tickets - so fastest fingers first girls!The girls will also go through their worst mum fails as well as getting some of you, the listeners. fails that you were to happy to share!They'll Discuss:Our biggest mum failsMum's The Word becoming official podcast partners of The Baby ShowWhy you should join us at the NEC in Birmingham THIS weekendGet In Contact With Us:Do you have a question for us? Get in touch on our Whatsapp, that's 07599927537 or email us at [e-mail] for Listening---A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Mum's A Word, the parenting podcast. I'm Georgia Jones. And I'm Kelsey Parker. Oh, it's a double whammy today. And all we've got to say is we are tired. We are so tired. We just got into the studio and I was like, I'm so tired. And Georgia's like, I'm so tired. The energy level's low, but we're going to try and like... We're going to lift it for you. We're going to lift it for this episode. Positive vibes only, but it's tough.

It's tough being a working mum. It really is. The world is not designed for mothers that want to do it all. That is all it boils down to. That's so unfair. Isn't it? It's unfair because you want to be the mum. You want to be present.

You want to be there. But also, you want to work. You want to have a career. Yeah. You but also you want to work you want to have a career yeah and you have to have people come into your house yeah and it's just so hard to have it all like so now we're both running on very low battery should we just like go on holiday for a week together or something where are we gonna go i don't know we can record the podcast from now and then technically we're still working so this week we're talking about mum fails now this is just something that just makes my world light up because it just makes me feel less

as a less of a failure as a mum when i hear other people so george i feel like i've heard some of yours already you probably have you probably have and What was the one that you said that when you went to the teacher and was like, oh, what should I have been signing into? Oh, the homework. The homework. It was the homework. Still not bloody done it, have I?

Have you not? No, but let's not talk about that because it just makes, just sends me into a pit of doom. What we'll tell you about is I would say this is my biggest mum fail that I've ever had and And it was during lockdown. So it was the height of the pandemic. And you know, when you could only go out for like hours

exercise. And Cooper was still in a pram at this point. He was only little. And I was power marching along. And I got to the pavement. And I went to push the pram up the pavement. And have you ever had it when the kids have been little and the wheel almost like buckles under itself when your pram topples up? Well, the pram toppled over, but it didn't just topple over, it toppled forwards. Cooper was strapped in.

Oh, bless Cooper. I fell over on top of the pram. Oh, no, stop. Cooper's, the first thing that met the pavement was Cooper's head. Cracked his head open. No! Yeah, honestly, I was in bits.

There wasn't that many people around because obviously it was a pandemic and no one was really out and about. People were standing in and making the most of their hours. Yeah, exactly. And I was on the pavement, cradling Cooper.

I don't remember. Was it just you? you just me on my own danny wasn't with you no i remember i sat on the pavement held him because you know when you if you cut your head it bleeds a lot more dramatically than like it actually should well yeah i remember as a kid i had like a pinprick on my head and literally it like poured yeahoured. Poured and poured. Yeah, exactly. And I remember sitting on the pavement holding him and going, help, can somebody help? Oh, now when I look back, I'm like, God, what a drama queen. That's not... I wouldn't say that's a mum foul.

Oh. That was an accident. Yeah, but I couldn't... I didn't even judge the pavement properly. I should have at that point in my motherhood stage known how to get up a pavement with my pram. Yeah, but my kids do it with their scooters. You know, there's so many like bumps in the road now.

They like get to a point with their scooter, like as we're crossing like the main road to get to their school and a radio will like scoot or bow and they get stuck in the ground and then literally they just fall forward, forward don't they in slow-mo oh it's always in slow-mo when your child falls that's my classic line you're fine you're fine yeah i know same who was probably too does he watch peter rabbit in the morning no not anymore i always sing to

mine and they get so annoyed sing sing because in peter rabbit they sing um rabbits are brave rabbits are brave rabbits are brave so i always sing it to the kids if they hurt themselves i'm like come on get up rabbits are brave they go shut up i'm not a rabbit your mummy's rabbit, do you know what? Mine's quite similar, but mine was actually like recent. It was at Christmas. So, you know, in centre parks. Yeah. Oh my God, I feel like I'm going to wet myself already.

Why? Do you mean wet yourself laughing? Yeah, no, it was like wet myself laughing, but also I felt terrible. But I'm one of these people that, you know, when something bad happens, I just laugh. Oh, my God, same. If somebody falls, I cannot help but laugh if somebody trips. It's just one of those things.

I just can't help but find it funny. Right, so you go and pick your bikes up from Centre Park. Right. So I went in and obviously where I am, mum, dad and everything. Yeah. I obviously had to have the kids because they can't ride bikes yet on the back of me so what are they called the little like a tank oh like the little trailer oh yeah yeah so they've put the trailer i've got the i've got the bike with the trailer

the kids are in and literally i went to ride off and was like we've got this kid but obviously i've not thought about their trailers coming out wide behind me so obviously i'm a thin bike oh yeah yeah yeah so as i've gone to ride out i've hit a pillar the bike's topped over the kids are tumbled over aurelia's hysterically screaming and crying this blows up oh my god oh my god are they okay i'm like they're fine they're fine as i'm like wetting myself laughing at the same time after that i did obviously strap them in every time yeah but it was aurelia because she was so angry with me i'm not surprised they do get angry though when you do something i was like i didn't judge it i'm sorry but yeah that was my like epic

mum but they don't let you forget it either. No. The whole weekend, she was like, oh, my mum knocked me off my trailer the first day. Oh, yeah. My mum knocked me off. Oh, my mum hit my head. My mum did that.

I'm like, oh, my. Can we not say that to people out loud? Because it's going to start reporting me to social services. Cooper still tells me now about the time I pushed him over in his pram. We did have to call an ambulance. Did you actually? We did, yeah. Because there was a lot of blood.

And what did they say? They took him to hospital. He had to have little... Well, he didn't have full stitches. He had butterfly stitches, but still. And it was at the time I felt so bad as well because it was when it was all, do not call an ambulance unless you absolutely need to.

And I was like, oh, my God, I have put a strain on the system when there's already a massive strain. So much going on. Yeah, yeah. I was like oh my god i have put a strain on the system when there's when there's already a massive strain yeah yeah i was like what have i done this children's falling over a pram with a baby in it no that that's like i feel like yours is more of an accident not actually a mum fail thanks well mine and mine can you say mine was yeah yes yours was an accident it was my so my one of my very very close friends i won't say who it is because you might not want me to tell you she had taken her kid who's five into um a disabled toilet because they had to go in together they needed to get into this big toilet and he needed to poo i think

she was leaning down pulling his trousers down and you know how in a disabled toilet, there's the arms, those big metal arms that come down. He was messing with it and he pulled on it while she was bent down, pulling his trousers down. And it fell on her head and knocked her out.

Stop it! Knocked her out. So when she came round and she was like... She came round to her poor little child, screaming, thinking he'd killed his mother.

Because he'd knocked her out. That's sort of like the biggest lesson that he could have learned by like to not muck around. Like, that's what happens. That's either going to be a lesson or he's scared for life. He'll never step foot in a public toilet again. But no, I mean, can you imagine? Like coming to.

And I said, do you know what the worst thing of that story was? That you were passed out on a public toilet floor. We've all been there on a Saturday night. We've all laid on a public toilet floor before. She said it was a very clean one. That was it. Thank God. Your saving grace was that it was a very clean one.

Now, we did ask. We asked you guys. Our listeners, yeah, you guys, to send in some of your mum or dad fails, parent fails. And we got some good ones, didn't we? Yeah. What did you get? So I actually got like a lot of the same. People locking their children in their cars. Oh, God.

What would you do, right? If you locked your kid in the car? Well, this mum has said, I locked the keys in my car with my one-year-old in it so I had to smash them out. And a better phone was in there as well. But I know some... You know when the cars, like, lock inside?

Yeah. I've known kids to be locked in because for some reason the keys to have... I don't know, it goes... And then everything's automatically locked it does yeah it does if you leave your keys in your car too long I think everything just locks itself doesn't it yeah I had another one locked in the car once when she was one and she was strapped in the car seat oh no I mean I think I think the the scary thing for me with that would be if you've locked your phone in and like you've not, like what do you do? Again, it comes down to me being a solo parent

that when you get the kids out the car and I put the kids in the house, I always take the house key with me in my pocket or leave it in the, there's often my car, my keys are in the, see, I can't even talk. I am tired, everyone. I am so sorry. If this podcast i am tired everyone i'm so sorry if this podcast makes no sense we are so sorry and i often leave my keys in my front door because i'm so

worried that they're gonna shut the door on me and they have done it yeah and i have scared them this is is it i don't know this is a bit evil on my behalf but i've had the keys in my pocket they've shut the door and i've been like i can't get back in that's it you're in the house on your own now i can't get back in to to teach them to not shut that i think it's i think it's worth worth it to teach them a lesson yeah and like aurelia again bodie hysterically crying i'm like but you shut the door how am i gonna get back in now that's it yeah i have, what am I going to do? I have to call the police. You're like, not the police.

And the police will get you because you've been naughty. That's the best one to use, I think. Oh, it is. When there's the strong arm of the law around, Cooper will behave very well because he's like, I don't want to be a baddie. I don't want to go to prison. He thinks like, you know.

At that age, it is the good and the bad, though. It is. Oh, at what point does that change? At what point do they stop being so lovely and innocent? I had a woman messaging, and she said her little baby was about to fall off the sofa to try to catch it. And instead of catching it, she just slapped it in the face. I was like, that poor kid. I bet that little baby didn't i bet that little baby we've all been there though trying to catch a child on the sofa yeah one of my best friends little girls who was the same age

as cooper we had them at the same time and the baby must have been she must have been about six months she fell off the sofa and broke her arm i know but it can happen in a split second yeah i feel like my friend's little boy rolled his ankle on like a bit of you know like the kitchen like the plastic like a grape or something called a bit of cake like a plastic cake that he put on it and then rolled off it and he broke his ankle oh my gosh yeah i would say he's potentially got slightly weak bones maybe we actually had this as well so uh someone put the first time clipping their nails i accidentally nicked their finger and tom did that and tom was crying and aurelia both crying together so i feel so bad but i think when you're cutting babies nails it's so hard it is i used to bite coopers

yeah i remember someone once said to me bite them don't clip them because you can like feel where where their skin is that is i reckon about 80 percent of listeners will have clipped their kids skin a hundred quite a scary thing to do though when you're a brand new parent yeah cutting their nails with tom when we actually had the kids that was his first interaction with actually a child yeah yeah do you know of that age yeah i think it's a lot of people's first like proper like experience with a baby whereas i've been around babies have my brothers yeah i go on about them all the time but i'd been around loads of babies so i knew but tom had not a clue

yeah so he clicked it and he felt terrible oh there's nothing worse than when you accidentally hurt your baby yeah like just do

like not obviously not intentionally ever but like you might do something like I don't know like accidentally like when you're getting their clothes on like just nip their skin

or something yeah especially where I put my nails. You scratch me. I'm like, I didn't mean to, but you should be dressing yourself, shouldn't you? I put Coop in the eye the other day, and I felt terrible.

Like, you just feel so... You do. Why did you do that, mummy? And also, they just milk it as well, make you feel even worse. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. This lady said that her daughter went to school with no knickers on.

She went on her scooter and flashed me when she got into school i think i'd have to have marched in after cooper and been like mate we need to take you home and get your knickers on because i couldn't let him go around with his little bits hanging out all day i have got to confess that Bodie did go to football with no pants on, only his little football shorts on. And then I took him to it and I went, you've not got any pants on because he'd got himself dressed. Well, I think he's really independent.

So it's like that fine line of being like, I can't take his independence away from him. He's actually got himself dressed, but then he's forgot his pants. Oh, bless him. So it's all just flapping around. I don't think they forget their pants.

I think they know full well they've not put their pants on. Do you reckon? Yeah, I think they just like it without the pants on. Be free. Cooper went through a stage of coming home,

going to the toilet and taking his pants off, putting his trousers back on when he got home from school just because he likes to be free. Can I just say that they're going to listen to this podcast one day and go why did you just embarrass us why are you telling if the world this is the fact that

she's obsessed with like making out she's pooed herself she was at the gymnastics club the other day and i when she's in gymnastics i quickly pop off and do my food shop yeah i came back and there's always something so they were like oh she she pooed herself she pooed herself and i was like i bet she did not poo herself looked in her knickers she's like obsessed if she has like a little bit of a drip or anything anything the knickers have got to come off but then she has to announce to the world i've wet myself i proved myself i went back when we got home i said you didn't poo yourself i said you had a tiny little mark in your knickers yeah and i said and now the whole gym club gymnastics club think that you I went back when we got home I said you didn't poo yourself I said you had a tiny little mark

in your knickers and I was like and now the whole gymnastics club think that you poo yourself what did she say to that what was her response

she doesn't actually care how old is she again she's four and then she locked herself in the toilet when I'd gone shopping as well and then I got back

and her mum was like oh she was crying her eyes out she'd locked herself in the toilet. Isn't it awful when... I wasn't there. I felt terrible. Yeah, but also when some mums can sometimes really dramatise,

like, your child. I remember when... No, and also when your daughter is dramatic already... Yeah, and you know... I'm like, I know she's a drama queen. She was like... I took a sip. She went, mum, I locked myself in this toilet.

I'm like, yeah, but you could have just gone like that. You know how to open a door, don't you? Yeah, I think she just wanted a bit of attention. Mum's not here, I want a bit of attention. Yeah. Do you have an insatiable fascination with the paranormal? Brace yourself for the the supernatural world is about to reveal all of its secrets on the Paranormal Activity podcast. And who better to guide you

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Oh God, Cooper's crying at football. I just couldn't bear it. And I was like, oh, for God's sake. Because it makes you feel guilty, but then you've got nothing to feel guilty about. Yeah. And you know when you know their kids full well cry and scream and you're like, I'm sure you can bear it

because I think your kids do it, never say it. Also, disclaimer that when she's actually at gymnastics, she's actually with one of my, like, really good family friends. So that's why I pop out and go shopping. So she is safe. She's safe and Katie knows her inside out. So Katie knows... Yeah, but you can do drop-off at a lot of clubs now, can't you?

Yeah, and also you need time to do... Like, finding time to food shop, that is my time. On a Monday at four o'clock, I go food shopping. There's nothing I hate more than taking cooper food shopping yeah it's painful if you take a child with you painful and he's too big for the seats now as well yeah so he can't even sit in there he's got like dragging around and then he wants to carry something and scan all the food that's it oh god kids scanning food i couldn't think of anything worse than a kid scanning food it just pains me is everyone loving this podcast today i love it negative nancies are out

honestly we're literally just moaning anything else you want to moan about about cows let's get it out no it's everything i want to moan about. No. I'm good, I'm good. Are you good? Am I good? I don't know if I'm good. Cooper's in love at the moment, just to go off on a tangent. Really? He's got a girlfriend.

Oh, stop. Yeah, and somebody told me the other day that they weren't going to get married. And he was sat at home, really quiet after school. I was like, you all right, mate? And he was like, yeah. I was like, is there anything you want to tell mummy? You know, you can always talk to me. And he went, well, there is one thing. I was like you're right mate and he's like yeah i was like is there anything you want to tell mommy you know you can always talk to me and he went well there is one thing i was like go on he's like so and so said that me and the other girl aren't going to get married and i was like oh mate it's it's all right i don't think this is gonna be your wife but

i was like is that what's upsetting you and he he's like, yeah. I was like, oh, they're just starting to get those, those kind of emotions that they're starting to feel. And it's like, you can't remember as a child having them feelings. But actually, Aurelia was at my nan's house the other day and Bodie, I always forget Bodie, but it's just more like Aurelia because she just says loads of stuff.

But my nan had got out a letter that I'd wrote I'd wrote a love letter to a boy obviously whilst I've been at my nan's house my nan's kept it and the boy was called Keith no not a Keith never a Keith Keith is just a recipe for disaster and it was was like, what did he say? Oh, roses are red, violets are blue. If I could be with anyone, I would choose you. I must have been about seven or eight writing this. And I really kept going, but that's not daddy's name. That's not daddy's name.

Oh, my sir. I know, but this was a long time ago before mummy even knew daddy. Like, I didn't know daddy then. Well, that's what i said to cooper and he didn't like it when when he said about the marriage thing and i went well darling daddy wasn't the first person i was with oh as in in a boyfriend and cooper and cooper was yeah i've had more than one boyfriend and cooper was mortified that i'd dared have another boyfriend other than daddy.

Like how they think about it in their little world, it is just that beautiful love story. No one else exists. I remember I once saw my mum dance with another man, completely un, you know, there was nothing to it. Because you were devastated. I was devastated, fell out with my mum. I just wouldn't talk to my mum.

I think I cried. Because you felt like she was cheating. Yeah, yeah. Dad was right there, he was dancing with a woman, but I just couldn't bear that my mum was dancing with somebody. I was I cried. Because you felt like she was cheating. Yeah. Yeah. Dad was right there. He was dancing with a woman but I just couldn't bear that my mum was dancing with somebody.

I was like, how dare she? It is that mum thing. Actually, some children might be like that about their dads. Like daddy's girls.

Yeah, maybe. So someone else said to me, getting back to the mum thing, that it was their first visit to the health visitor and they forgot the nappy bag and they did a massive poonami. Oh no, there's nothing worse

when you're trying to impress the health visitor and then you've like completely, you've failed at the first hurdle. You're like, yes, I've got it. But I just feel like the health visitors are real life people as well. And they go, oh, we're all human. Well, I mean, you say that, honestly.

I'm just trying to be positive, Jojo. Well, I know. Are we slagging someone else off? I don't know if you've noticed, I'm negative today. I forgot. I'm in my negative era. Negative girl era. I'm alone with you for a day, okay?

Next week on Mum's Aware, I'll be happy again. I'm so unparented at the moment. And it's hard work, isn't it? it's hard work it's hard it's hard kills but no um i remember one of my best friends um when the health visitor came to their house my best friend had put a candle on just so the house smelled nice and whatever and the health visitor was like i'm just a bit concerned about that candle on that table over there. Bear in mind, it was a newborn baby. And Rose was like, oh God, why is it like the fumes from the candle or something? And the health visit was like, no, just in case the baby knocks it off.

And Rose was like, it was Rose. And Rose was like, but the baby can't move. It's five weeks old. And she's like, hmm. Bringing that up about the punami yeah when aurelia was three months old we went to america so we traveled from like san fran to vegas it was amazing it was vegas with the kids yeah at three months and she was conceived in vegas as well but we were in so when we was in la tom was like oh

i'm gonna take some um music meetings whilst we're there i was like amazing fantastic so we had the tiburon mall backpack oh yeah yeah tiburon mall backpack and he was like he used to actually think it was quite a cool backpack and wanted to wear it as his own backpack. So Tom took it to a meeting with all my change, nappies. I think he might have left me baby wipes. That was about it. She pooed everywhere and we had nothing. She was just sat in the back of this hire car, naked, crying. Oh, bless.

Luckily, LA is a warm place to be in. But I was like, oh my God, why did... Because he actually just liked the look of the in but i was like oh my god why did because he actually just like the look of the backpack he was like yeah this backpack's cool why did nobody think to check what was in there and what you have because you know when you're just in it all right like there was so much going on tom's leaving to go to this we're probably on the holiday it's all go go go and then i'm like he's actually left me with nothing oh was there any shops near because you can't imagine, I've been to Vegas,

can't imagine seeing, I can't remember seeing any like, shops where you would buy baby bits. Well, it literally popped out for a meeting so he was coming back but I was like, only Tom would take the whole of the baby changing.

No, no. No, Kelz, not only Tom. Danny would do that as well because they are very similar people. We discovered that. And just not think it through and be like, oh, she might need that

yeah and as he got to the meeting unzips get his laptop out and go oh I've actually got all the baby stuff in this too

do you reckon he even realised he probably got to the meeting didn't even notice no he's probably just signing a record deal or something yeah

too busy too busy signing a deal how dare he I did actually forget nappies on a long haul flight. Yeah. Did they have any spits? No, I had to scrounge off other parents that were on the flight.

I was like, how does anyone... I feel like that's a better mum fowl than the falling off over. Do you think so? Yeah. Should have brought that one to the table first. Well, here we are. I forgot, yeah. I'm opening the can of worms.

Oh, no. God, there's probably so many more anyone listening we have them all the time as parents and you've just got to let go of it

because I know some people give themselves such a hard time but just let it go because you know what we are all human and we all do

we do all do it like if anyone if anyone says they've never had a mum fail you're lying you're a liar you're a liar just a liar just don't believe it so me and kelse have actually got something very exciting to talk about as well haven't we we have so we are going to be at the neEC in Birmingham, Mum's The Word, the podcast, is actually one of the official partners

of the baby show, which is very exciting. It is so exciting. I just feel like that's an eee moment. That's huge. It's huge. So me and George are going to be on stage basically doing this.

This. This is what we're going to be doing right now. And it's probably going to be on stage basically doing this. This. This is what we're going to be doing. What we're doing right now. And it's probably going to be less filtered. Yeah. So come and listen. And also, we will be answering questions live on stage, won't we? I'm quite scared.

Now that you've said that, I'm a bit like, oh. Imagine if someone asks us a really, really deep intellectual question. I'd be like, I don't know what that means. We do have experts on to answer that. We aren't actually the experts. We are winging it. Yeah, just ask us about mum fails. We can tell you about that.

We've got a few. But we have got a code. Go on, George, give them the code. Right, I will tell you the code. So the first 20 people to use our exclusive code, which is Mums the Word, all one word, no spaces, will receive two complimentary tickets to the baby show at the NEC Birmingham, which is on the 10th to the 12th of May. So very soon.

This weekend. Oh, my God, it's this weekend. Ah! Ah, it's this weekend. So! Ah, it's this weekend. So get applying now. Yeah, use our code and the first 20 people will get complimentary tickets.

And come along and watch us do what we do best. Yeah. Talking. Talking. And Kels, tell us what you're going to be selling at the show.

Guys, I'm going to be selling my book. She's going to be selling a book. Wow, it's biography. Yes. Which is fabulous. I've got a copy.

If you want to know more about my life, get down to the NEC and purchase one of my books. Yeah, and I am going to be selling, I don't know whether

anybody knows, but I have a notebook range and a lot of new mums need notebooks. So, there'll be a little stand with Kelsey's autobiography. Can I have one of your notebooks? Yeah, of course you can. Thanks, babe.

So that will be there as well, alongside us two. But it would be lovely to see you all. Come and watch us. And meet you all in person. Exactly. Exactly. We were actually really nice people and we're not scary at all, are we? The only other thing I think we need to say is that there are two other baby show dates.

So there's the baby show, which is in Manchester, at Manchester Central, 7th to the 9th of June. And then there is the baby show at the Olympia London, 25th to the 27th of October. Can I just say a funny story that I went to that last year with Kelsey because she'd just had Winnie. Yeah. And the press wanted to take pictures of me

and I was going, can I just hold the baby because I'm not pregnant. I'm not pregnant. Can we just clear this up that I'm not actually pregnant. We don't want to start a story here. Yeah, do you know when I was like,

oh my God, there's going to be a story that I'm pregnant. That would have been an absolute scandal. Can I hold Winnie? Can I hold Winnie? Can I hold Winnie? And they were like, yeah, but we sort of don't want you with the baby. I'm like, but why else would I be here? Yeah, it makes no sense.

I need to have a baby. I've literally come here to support my best friend who's had a baby. I love that. So funny. So, yeah, if they like us, they might even ask us back for the 27th. The 25th and the 27th of October at the Olympia. Maybe. Maybe we'll be in Manchester and the Olympia maybe maybe we'll be

in Manchester and the and the Olympia in London okay okay I will

this weekend A game okay what I'm gonna do is get loads of sleep and I will be there full of energy yes

I can't wait to see you all so I've been Kelsey Parker and I've been Georgia Jones that's how we need to end it

and we've been Mums the Word woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo