Muscle for Life with Mike Matthews - How Nicole Used Thinner Leaner Stronger to Lose 100 Pounds

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

In this episode, I interview Nicole, who read Thinner Leaner Stronger and used what she learned to lose over 100 pounds while gaining significant amounts of muscle. After having her third child, Nicol...e was over 260 pounds and embarrassed by letting herself get to that point. She got fed up and decided to make a change, but she wasn’t sure what to do to get fit. Like many women, she was intimidated by weightlifters in the gym and ended up spending her time in the cardio section. It didn’t help that she was taught by misguided trainers that she needed to “tone” and lifting weights would make her bulky. She was also following heavily-restricted fad diets, which lead to a lot of binge eating. She eventually lost some weight, but she still wasn’t happy with her physique. She was skinny fat. Luckily, a google search on building muscle helped her find my book Thinner Leaner Stronger, and after implementing what she learned about macros and strength training, she’s now 156 pounds, wearing size 4 jeans, and has visible abs. What’s more, her awesome transformation has inspired her husband to join a gym, and he’s also lost 100 pounds! In this interview, Nicole and I chat about her story and the important lessons she’s learned along the way, including how what she was doing before finding TLS, how macros transformed her eating and ability to stick to her diet, how she overcame gym intimidation, how she’s inspired her kids to eat healthier, what she’s working toward now, and more. So if you’re looking for a jolt of inspiration and like motivational stories, I highly recommend you listen to this episode. 5:23 - Where were you before you met me and my work and where are you now? 12:04 - Before you met me, what was working for you and what wasn’t working for you? 17:01 - How did it make you feel knowing you lost the weight you wanted but you still weren’t satisfied with how you looked? 18:04 - How did you find me? 23:43 - How was the gym intimidation factor? 26:14 - When did you start to feel more comfortable? 29:07 - Since you’ve gained some muscle how has that changed your physique? 35:56 - Where do you want to go next? What are you working towards? 41:49 - How has what you’re doing rubbed off on your kids? Mentioned on The Show: Legion VIP One-on-One Coaching: https://buylegion.com/vip Thinner Leaner Stronger: https://legionathletics.com/products/books/thinner-leaner-stronger/ Want free workout and meal plans? Download my science-based diet and training templates for men and women: https://legionathletics.com/text-sign-up/

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, I'm Mike Matthews. This is Muscle for Life. Thank you for joining me today to hear from Nicole, who read my book, Thinner, Leaner, Stronger, some time ago, and used what she learned in the book to lose over 100 pounds while also gaining a significant amount of strength, lean muscle. As you can imagine, she completely transformed her physique. Now, before Thin Leaner Stronger, Nicole was her heaviest that she had ever been in her life. She was 260 pounds. She had just had a third child and she was embarrassed and couldn't believe that she let herself get to that point. But she eventually got fed up with the status quo and she decided to make a change, but she wasn't sure what to do. Like many women,
Starting point is 00:00:50 she was intimidated by the gym, particularly the weights section, all the sweaty guys grunting and groaning. And so she decided to spend all of her time in the cardio section. And it didn't help that she was taught by misguided trainers that she just needed to focus on toning her muscles and lifting weights would make her bulky. And she also needed to follow fad diets that rely on heavy restrictions and which also lead to binge eating, binging, purging. Now, because she was doing a lot of starvation dieting and a lot of cardio, she did lose weight and she even reached what she thought would be a great number on the scale, but it wasn't the body she wanted. She still wasn't happy with what she saw in the mirror.
Starting point is 00:01:35 She was skinny fat in her own terms. And then though, she started to search around online for information on muscle building, particularly muscle building for women. And that helped her find my book, Thinner, Nearer, Stronger. And now after following the program for some time, she is 156 pounds and she wears a size four and has visible abs. She is super fit. And she also has inspired her husband to join in the festivities and start his own transformation. And he is also now down almost 100 pounds. And so in this interview, Nicole and I chat about her story and some of the important lessons she has learned along the way. And how she has used what she has learned and experienced to help inspire her kids to eat better and be healthier, and what she
Starting point is 00:02:27 wants to work toward now that she's in the best shape of her life, and more. So if you are looking for a jolt of inspiration, and if you just like motivational stories of people overcoming obstacles and achieving their fitness goals, then you're going to like this episode. Also, if you like what I'm doing here on the podcast and elsewhere, definitely check out my VIP one-on-one coaching service, because my team and I have helped people of all ages and all circumstances lose fat, build muscle, and get into the best shape of their life faster than they ever thought possible. And we can do the same for you. We make getting fitter, leaner, and stronger paint by numbers simple by carefully managing
Starting point is 00:03:11 every aspect of your training and your diet for you. Basically, we take out all of the guesswork. So all you have to do is follow the plan and watch your body change day after day, week after week, and month after month. What's more, we've found that people are often missing just one or two crucial pieces of the puzzle. And I'd bet a shiny shekel it's the same with you. You're probably doing a lot of things right, but dollars to donuts, there's something you're not doing correctly or at all that's giving you the most grief. Maybe it's your calories or your macros. Maybe it's your exercise selection. Maybe it's your food choices. Maybe you're not progressively overloading your muscles or maybe it's something else. And whatever it is,
Starting point is 00:03:57 here's what's important. Once you identify those one or two things you're missing, once you figure it out, that's when everything finally clicks. That's when you start making serious progress. And that's exactly what we do for our clients. To learn more, head over to www.buylegion.com. That's B-U-Y-L-E-G-I-O-N.com slash VIP and schedule your free consultation call, which by the way, is not a high pressure sales call. It's really just a
Starting point is 00:04:25 discovery call where we get to know you better and see if you're a good fit for the service. And if you're not, for any reason, we will be able to share resources that'll point you in the right direction. So again, if you appreciate my work and if you want to see more of it, and if you also want to finally stop spinning your wheels and make more progress in the next few months than you did in the last few years, check out my VIP coaching service at www.buylegion.com slash VIP. Hey, Nicole, welcome to my podcast. Hey, thank you. I'm glad to be here. It's awesome. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad to have you because you have an awesome transformation and a great story to tell. And it's been a little bit since I've been able to record one of these
Starting point is 00:05:09 episodes. I think they got mixed in the shuffle of moving schedules around and guests having to reschedule and stuff. So here we are. Thanks again for doing this. Oh, thank you. So I generally like to start these success story episodes with just kind of a snapshot before and after so people can immediately get a sense of where your journey started and then where it has taken you. So could you just quickly share with us where you were some time ago before finding me in my work and then where you are now? Yeah. So, you know, I got married, got a house and everything. And we ended up having three children. My third was the roughest pregnancy. I had a lot of complications since day one, ended up having emergency C-section. And this was in fall 2018. And, you know,
Starting point is 00:06:08 fall 2018. And you know, the hormones are running, I have, you know, two kids, a newborn, not sleeping. And I feel like in a blink of an eye, I hit my highest weight yet. And I was 263 pounds. And I'm six foot tall, just to put that in perspective. But I ended up, you know, having to wear my husband's clothes because I could not fit into any of my clothes. And I was still wearing what maternity clothes I could still fit in. I was wearing those. I was just too ashamed to go out and buy new clothes because I was afraid to know what size I truly was, you know, at the time, you know, I was like, I need to do something. And I found your program today. I am roughly
Starting point is 00:06:57 156 pounds. That's awesome. Yeah. And I'm in my second year of thinner, leaner, stronger. I'm in phase five. I am now wearing a size small shirt and size four jeans. I've gained a lot of muscle. And the one thing I do have to brag about is a few weeks ago, I was doing squats in the squat rack and I was wearing a crop top and I looked up and I actually saw abs. And I had to do a double take because I wasn't sure if the mirror was lying to me. If it was like a funhouse mirror? if the mirror was like lying to me. If it was like a fun house mirror. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:07:48 So I did a double take and I was like, no way. I'm like, are those four abs? Like I almost started crying at the gym because all these emotions, you know, just came up from everything from my past. And I've, you know, what I've been through throughout all the years to now, I was just, I couldn't believe it. Like how far I came. Yeah. It's amazing. I mean, looking at your before and after. Yeah. I mean, you're super fit now. I think you can say that
Starting point is 00:08:14 you have earned your, your place in the squat rack. Yeah. So that's awesome. And in two years too, which may sound like a long time to some people, but I don't know about you. I just remember that when I first started making real progress again, the first couple of years, it didn't feel like two or three years just because it was exciting. It was exciting to just like what you're talking about, seeing real changes in the mirror and seeing real improvements in the gym. And then you stop and look back and you're like, wow, it's been two years. Has it been like that for you as well? Oh, yes. So my big thing is, is it's hard for me to look in the mirror. I kind of have a distorted perception of myself. So what I do is I take a lot of pictures. So I have these pictures to look back
Starting point is 00:09:01 on throughout my journey. And it's crazy to see. And it keeps me, you know, moving and motivated. And I keep, you know, doing these small goals to get into my, you know, end goal. Just, you know, moving forward one step at a time. Those are the two good points, actually, that the how much progress pictures can help because we look at ourselves every day it's very normal we all tend to focus in on what we don't like about our physiques or what we want to improve the most and we tend to quickly get used to the improvements that we've made and the things that maybe we do like so that's something that taking progress pictures can help with especially when you can flip back to three months ago and then three months before that and three
Starting point is 00:09:49 months before that and see that the trend is clearly going in the right direction. So that's smart that you do that. And then also this point of setting small goals to achieve that then lead to the bigger goal is, I would say that's like kind of achievement 101 in any area of life. I think any individual project or endeavor, it's important, especially when the bigger goal is going to take some time to do that and to get as granular as you need to be to stay motivated. I mean, that's what I do. Something to add to that also is I tend to, in the beginning of projects, really just focus on putting in the work every day and achieving those small milestones that are in the not so
Starting point is 00:10:37 distant future and tend to intentionally ignore how much work is still ahead of me to get to the actual finish line. And then as I get closer to the finish line, maybe after I crest the 50% mark or something, maybe when I'm 60% or 70% done, I then find it's more, I don't know, emotionally satisfying to look at how close I am to being done. So in the beginning, I'm more just looking at what do I need to do in the next day, week, maybe a couple of weeks, maybe also reflect on how much progress I've already made. And then as I get closer to the bigger goal, kind of flip that around, of course, still focusing on the immediate day-to-day that needs to be done. But then I find it is at least a bit more motivating to look at, all right, I only have 30% left. I only have two months left on this project and
Starting point is 00:11:26 then it's done. And you can apply that mindset and that approach to fitness as well. Exactly. It's just looking at the end result that you want. It's too overwhelming and it can get a lot of people discouraged to know how far they need to go. Totally. So let's rewind to before. So a couple of years ago when you just had your third kid and you're having a rough time, understandably so, and you were at your heaviest weight, I'm sure you had tried some other things before you found your way to me and my work. And can you tell us about how that experience was? What was working for you? What was not working for you? Oh, gosh. I don't think it really worked for me at all, what I was doing in the past.
Starting point is 00:12:16 So I joined the gym and I knew nothing about the gym. I knew nothing about working out. I felt super intimidated by all the, you know, equipment, and all the guys that are, you know, lifting barbells and by the dumbbell rack. I was afraid of what people thought of, you know, a fat girl working out. And, you know, are they staring at me, and I was afraid to embarrass myself. So I hid in the cardio section and I was switching between the elliptical and the treadmill every day. I'd go every day, but it was at the cardio equipment. Cardio confusion instead of muscle confusion. Instead of muscle confusion. you know, body that I wanted, I ended up, gosh, I ended up spending thousands and thousands of dollars on these personal trainers. And they would tell me, you know, just to eat under these calories. And that as a girl that I want to tone that I have to do, you know, a mix of cardio,
Starting point is 00:13:41 light dumbbells and body weight exercises, and that I don't want to gain muscle. And I don't want to look too bulky. As a woman, personal trainers, you know, that added up got expensive. So I had to stop with the trainers. And I decided, you know, classes are the way to go. So I started taking the classes at the gym, like one or two classes a day. Plus I would do some cardio, like a warmup before a cool down after. And then my diet at that time, I was trying whatever fad diet I heard about. So I was eating only the food that would fit into these little containers for the day. Or I tried super low carb, I tried counting points, like any diet I heard I tried. And did I lose weight on them? Yes, I did. But I didn't like my body. And I was constantly yo-yoing, gaining and losing this weight because
Starting point is 00:14:47 I couldn't stick to these crazy diets. I felt like I was starving all the time. And when I'm told I can't eat something specific, it just makes me want to eat that thing even more. And I would end up binging. Especially when it's stuff that you like. I mean, even if you have a very good relationship with food, still part of the reason to eat good food is for the pleasure of it and for the enjoyment. So, you know, if you follow, it depends on which fad diet you're following, but maybe the one you're following is telling you to eliminate 80% of the foods you actually like to eat. Well, that sucks. Yeah. And then I would end up eating the
Starting point is 00:15:30 thing I really wanted. And it led me into, you know, a binge for a day for a couple days. And I felt like instantly I gained all the weight back and bloat feeling and everything. It just, I felt awful. So then I gave up on taking the classes and then I decided that I'm going to start running. So I got into, you know, running. I was horrible at it at first that I was doing like a half jog, half walk type of thing and ended up running for miles and miles per week towards the end. And I was just making sure I was staying eating under a certain number of calories a day. And then I realized now is that diet at the time was mostly fat and carbs and a little bit of protein. I'm a carb girl, definitely was not watching anything like that. At that time, I didn't even know what a macro was. My body got really beaten up from running.
Starting point is 00:16:33 My knee started hurting, was, you know, so tired. I did end up losing weight. And I did love the number. I ended up on the scale, but when I saw myself in pictures, I still looked fat. And I guess what people say that skinny fat, that was me. I had no sort of muscle or anything. I was just, I was skinny. And how did that make you feel? Just because the reason I ask is I've spoken to many, this is maybe I would say it's more often with women than with men because women have been, I think, indoctrinated more than men to live and die by a number on the scale. But okay. So you reach a number that you thought, I'm assuming that you had a number in your mind. Okay. If I just get to this body weight, then I should have the type of body that I want. All right. So you work your ass off to get there and you endure the starvation diets and
Starting point is 00:17:35 you do all the running, work through the pain, the tiredness, you hit the number. And then you're like, okay, what do I do now? Is that how it felt? then you're like, okay, what do I do now? Is that how it felt? Exactly. I was so happy about the scale, but in the same sense, I was so unhappy. I felt terrible. Honestly, I looked terrible. And I thought I looked great in the mirror, but when I saw myself in pictures, honestly, I looked terrible. And it just wasn't what I wanted. And I thought I did. And I didn't. So what did you do from there? I mean, obviously, you kept going, you didn't give up. So that's good. But I'm curious now, how did you find your way to me and learn that you needed to go about things quite differently? So like I said, I got married. And I ended up having my first child in 2012 and my second in 2015, my third in 2018.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Oh, got it. So that was after this previous period of losing a bunch of weight, but then not having the body composition that you want. Yep. So what happened is that every time I was pregnant, I got super lazy and sick. And I didn't do anything. And all I did was eight because when I was pregnant, I thought it was an excuse that I could eat whatever I wanted, because the baby wanted it and I was craving it. So between eating whatever I wanted, and not doing any sort of exercise, I gained a lot of weight, each pregnancy, like 50 to 60 pounds, every single pregnancy. Thankfully, I was still healthy through my pregnancy, like, you know, my blood work,
Starting point is 00:19:20 my blood pressure, everything was fine. I just got a lot of yelling from my OB doctor every single time that I was getting too much weight. You know, that didn't feel good. And every time I went to the doctors, they weigh you. And it was just awful. Every single time I was, you know, so afraid. Between every pregnancy, I did lose some of the weight. I was fortunate enough where I have a job where when we were working in the office, we have a gym and they bring in personal trainers to teach classes and everything and it's free. So I would on my lunch break for the hour, I would go to the gym and I was doing the classes and I was doing Zumba or kickboxing or anything like that. And between the classes, and my diet, which again, I was just eating super low calories,
Starting point is 00:20:15 because still I was, you know, in that mindset is, as long as I'm eating super low calories, that I have to lose weight. And again, I was only tracking, you know, the scale because that's what I thought, you know, I had to do. The scale was the number one thing I had to, you know, had to get lower. So you're doing that. And then eventually, did you come across my work online or how did you find it the new way? my work online or how did you find it the new way? Yeah. So, you know, after I had my third child on maternity leave and I just, you know, I got that to that fed up, fed up state of how I looked. And I had, I was thinking, I was like, I tried all these other things in the past and they didn't work. Like they worked, but they didn't work in the same sense.
Starting point is 00:21:06 They didn't get me where I wanted. And I was like, I need to do something different. But what is that something different? I don't know. I'm tired of being fat. So one day I did a random search on the internet and I put in how to gain muscle. And I'm curious why that? Because up until then, it sounds like you had been taught that building muscle isn't, that's not a good goal for women because that's for the guys. Women get bulky if they build muscle. So I wanted to try something different and I ran into this girl at work, and she started weightlifting. And she was looking, you know, she was gaining muscles. And I was like, wow, like, I saw her, you know, the really skinny before and now she has like these nice, you know, arms and muscles and everything. So literally, that's why I put how to gain muscle. Yeah, yeah. And then you found my website or something about a book? No. So like a random forum popped up. And I was like, okay, you know, I just start clicking into
Starting point is 00:22:21 all these websites, just nosing around to see if I could find any information. And I landed in this forum and I was reading through the comments and someone mentioned thinner, leaner, stronger, and how they lost fat, they gained muscle and how they felt so much better, not just about themselves, but like their body, you know, and their mind felt so much better. And I thought, why not? Like I gave everything else a try. I was like, let's give, you know, this one ago. So I downloaded your book. And I started reading it, I downloaded a macro counting app, bought a food scale, you know, I bought a new weight scale, calipers, tape measures, calculated my macros. Oh, no, all in, because that's how I am. I'm like, I've always had that mindset of, you know, all or nothing. And so I was like, jumped in with,
Starting point is 00:23:19 you know, both feet. And I even also set up an Excel file so that I can track all my workouts. So even now I have it. So I have it from day one, every exercise, every phase, every rep, every weight, every day I did it so that I can look back on it and see how far I came from day one for that certain exercise. That's great. And how was the gym intimidation factor that you had mentioned earlier? Like when you got back into it, did you still feel that when you were starting the program and how did you deal with it? And then how did it pan out? And often it's not what people expect. Often the gym is a lot more of a maybe inclusive or accepting environment than people first think. Even the rough looking guys with all the tattoos and
Starting point is 00:24:12 muscles and stuff. Yeah. So I was still super intimidated, but I put on my big girl pants and I was like, I'm going to do this. I don't care about anybody else. Let them think what they want. I'm just going to do this. Which is the right way to look at it. Because when I see somebody who is out of shape in the gym, I'm happy to see that. I think that's great. They're there working. And a lot of people are not. They don't even show up. So the fact that they're showing up and doing something, even if it doesn't quite make sense, not. They don't even show up. So the fact that they're showing up and doing something, even if it doesn't quite make sense, even if they don't know what they're doing, it's still commendable that they're there doing something. So it's also one of those things.
Starting point is 00:24:55 I think it's important that we can look at ourselves not only as we are right now, because we all tend to, again, pick ourselves apart and we're very quick to criticize ourselves and come down hard on ourselves much more so than other people. So I think it's important to be able to maybe acknowledge where we're at and what needs to improve, but also be willing to look at ourselves as we are going to be, to be able to envision ourselves as what we are going to become. So that is, I think, just a useful little mental trick, if you will, especially if you feel like you're starting maybe in a bit of a rut. I did feel like a fool when I first started out. I'm with all these guys. They all know what they you know, they're lifting all this heavy weight. And you know, I'm here, you know, trying to figure
Starting point is 00:25:49 out the correct form, super using super low weight in the beginning, some exercises, I couldn't even do the barbell, I had to use dumbbells in the beginning and you know, work my way up. And I was trying to, you know, figure out the starting weights for every exercise. So I'm picking up these weights, doing a couple of reps. I'm like, nope, too heavy, put them back down. So it was kind of all over the place. But then at what point did you start to feel more comfortable? Did you start to find your groove? So just going, honestly, just going to the gym every single day, it just, I got more and more comfortable as I was able to get better and better, you know,
Starting point is 00:26:32 at my form. But it came to the point where I felt like I was the only one in the gym. And I still feel like I'm the only one in the gym when I'm lifting weights. I just, And I still feel like I'm the only one in the gym when I'm lifting weights. I just, I get into the zone of just me and the weight and feeling, you know, how my body's reacting to the weight and everything else. Like, I just don't pay attention to everybody. I put my noise canceling headphones in. I could care less who's in the gym. I do me.
Starting point is 00:27:01 And I do have, you know, some people and some guys come up to me and be like, Oh, how are you doing? Are you how are you progressing on your weights and everything like they're checking up on me? And I'm like, Oh, it's going great. It's just awesome. Because I was, you know, so shy, and felt like such an outsider to now I'm like one of the guys, there's only I think right now, there's only me and maybe one other girl that are right in there with the guys working out. And we're one of them now. It's awesome. Yeah. That's a common experience for many women. Just what you described is starting off intimidated for one reason or another for the same reason and understandably so, where it's a
Starting point is 00:27:40 bunch of guys and they're all grunting and throwing weights around. And it doesn't take long before women realize that the majority of guys in gyms are not creeps. They're not assholes. They're actually quite supportive. And they love seeing, not for weird perverted reasons, but they love seeing women getting in there and working hard, just like everybody else. And so, you inevitably kind of develop a bit of camaraderie. You get your little group and everybody, I wouldn't say it holds everybody else accountable, but it becomes part of the routine that you see your workout buddies
Starting point is 00:28:11 and you chat usually fitness-related things. And I think it adds to the experience a little bit so long as it doesn't get distracting. Some people like to socialize more than others, but. Yes, that's why I like my noise-canceling headphones because when they see those in, they tend to not talk to you as much. Yeah. And you got to avoid eye contact too if you don't want to be bothered. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:28:33 That's also part of the key. You just kind of always are looking down at the ground or like off into the distance or whatever. Yeah. Let me fix, you know, this on my barbell or. If you like what I'm doing here on the podcast and elsewhere, definitely check out my VIP one-on-one coaching service, because my team and I have helped people of all ages and circumstances lose fat, build muscle and get into the best shape of their life faster than they ever thought possible. And we can do the same for you. So you've gained quite a bit of muscle and how has that changed your physique? And I'm just curious how that experience was versus maybe what you expected. Like, did you, were you a little bit hesitant early on? Because even though I do address in the book, I mean, it's one thing to just hear a guy talk about it. And it's another
Starting point is 00:29:29 thing to experience it firsthand that you did not end up bulky at all, even though I'm guessing that your body weight now is a bit higher than you would have anticipated a couple of years ago before you went through this transformation. Is that the case? Yes. I have this love-hate relationship with the scale. Oh, and I don't say that in a bad way, by the way. I'm just saying the reason why I bring it up is many women that I've spoken with over the years, they are surprised at what they see in the mirror and how much they like it and how that translates to the scale. And in a way that usually is positive in that they do realize that the scale isn't the grand arbiter of their physique or their fitness and
Starting point is 00:30:13 that muscle is very dense. And when you combine, call it probably most women, I would say the look that most women are after is right where you're at. You've probably gained, I'm guessing 15, 20, maybe between 15 and 25. It's hard to say exactly pounds of muscle in the right places on your body. And you brought your body fat percentage down to probably around 20%. And so you look athletic, you look very fit, but you still look feminine. And the only reason I ask is again, those questions is because I just know that many women are quite surprised at, again, how that transformation looks in just know that many women are quite surprised at, again, how that transformation looks in the mirror versus on the scale.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Yeah. So I always had that mindset from doctors and trainers that the scale was everything. And that number had to be super low. I had to be this certain BMI percentage. It's almost like the lower, the better. Exactly. And I learned that's not true at all. I like myself at a heavier weight than I ever thought I would be, but I'm smaller in the same sense. It's odd because even when I did weigh less, I was in bigger clothes because I didn't have muscle. And that's that point of density. If you were to see a picture of like a pound of muscle versus a pound of fat, muscle is a lot denser. It takes
Starting point is 00:31:30 up less space. And so for many women, it feels like an optical illusion. They'll step on the scale, they'll see a number and they'll remember what that number looks like before they had a fair amount of muscle. But now that number looks totally different. Yeah. And I learned, you know, scale isn't everything. That is just one tool to use as progress. So I have, you know, a caliper. I also measure my, you know, waist and everything. Cause I don't like the scale. Yeah. And then you have the mirror, you have your, how your clothes fit. I mean, those are also perfectly valid indicators of where things are at and where they're going. Yeah. And I guess to your point, you had also brought up progress pictures.
Starting point is 00:32:12 So when I say mirror, that's actually, I think it's more useful and accurate to say taking pictures. Cause if you just look at yourself every day, it's going to be hard to really know what's going on. But if you take regular pictures, then it's real easy to just look through a little slideshow and quickly see like, oh yeah, look at that. This is, look at the muscle definition coming into my arms. Look, I have abs. Yeah. I feel like the, yeah, the mirror lies to me. And then I'm looking at the mirror and then I start seeing like, oh, well this doesn't look good or this doesn't look good. But then if I,
Starting point is 00:32:43 you know, I see it in pictures, I'm like, no, I look really good. So I don't know what the mirror is talking about. Well, that's good. Again, it's good you've discovered that for yourself. What has it been like getting strong? Because you had mentioned when you started out, you couldn't even use the barbell. I'm assuming on the bench press, for example, and the overhead press, you probably had to start with dumbbells. Many women do. And how has that process been over the last couple of years? I feel so empowered. I never thought this was something I would ever do. Or like, I was like really naive, or I didn't even think that like women could do this in general. I always had that thinking that weightlifting was a, you know, a guy thing, a man thing. That's what they do.
Starting point is 00:33:25 But it makes me feel so empowered as a woman that I can be strong and I can do anything that I set my mind to. Totally. I think it is not cheesy to say that resistance training in particular, and there's probably something even a little bit special about handling weights against gravity. It's like a form of therapy. I think that's a perfectly valid statement personally. Yeah. Weightlifting and the gym definitely got me through some tough times just in life. Like a year and a half ago, I lost my grandma and my best friend within three days of each other. And, you know, never thought in a million years that would happen. But I did take the time for me and I went to the gym. And it got me through things like that, even,
Starting point is 00:34:20 you know, kept me going. Yeah, I mean, I understand totally because no matter what's going on, you may not look forward to a workout. You may not even particularly enjoy a workout, but you always feel better having done a workout, right? You always feel better when you leave the gym, regardless of what's going on. At least that's always been my experience. Oh yes. So I lift first thing in the morning. I wake up at 4 a.m. And the first thing I do is I go to the gym before anybody in my house wakes up. And I have to do that.
Starting point is 00:34:54 I lift five days a week. That's how I like starting my day. And if I don't do that, I feel like my day is off. Totally. I've trained it many different times, but that's one of the things I've always liked about first thing in the morning is it just gives a great start to the day. It sets the tone for the day. And I mean, there's even research that shows that the mood that you're in in the morning does actually set the tone for the rest of the day, that if you can get yourself into a
Starting point is 00:35:19 better mood early in the morning, you're more likely to be in a better mood later in the day. And that's one of those things we don't really need science to tell us that. We've all experienced it, but there is research on that point in particular. And I think that's one of the kind of hidden benefits of doing just that, waking up as early as you need to, to get your workout done first before you start doing other things. That's always been from a, I guess, maybe psychological perspective and just scheduling perspective. That's always been my favorite way to do it. Even though you might be a little bit stronger, you might have a little bit better of a workout doing it later in the day. You do get
Starting point is 00:35:56 that added little benefit if you do it first thing. Where do you want to go next? What are you working towards? Is there a bigger long-term goal you're working toward? And then what are you looking at in the more near future, maybe over the next several months, three to six months, rest of the year? So right now I'm in a cutting phase till I think it's like the second week of April. And then I want to move on to a maintenance phase. week of April. And then I want to move on to a maintenance phase. I have not lean bulked yet. I'm kind of, I'm nervous. You don't want to gain fat. I understand. Yeah. Especially when you get lean. I mean, it's nobody, well, maybe not nobody, but most people don't look forward to it. They do it for whatever reason they do it, but that's normal to feel like that for whatever reason,
Starting point is 00:36:44 do it for whatever reason they do it, but that's normal to feel like that for whatever reason, especially like the leaner you get, the leaner you just want to stay. And so sometimes you have to kind of force yourself to stop being weird. But that said, there may not be a good reason for your lean bulk. Maintenance may work just fine for you because you can still make progress on a maintenance diet. It's just not going to be the same. You would make faster progress in terms of muscle and strength gain if you lean bulked or lean gained or whatever term you want to use. But if that's not that important to you, if you are okay, let's say progressing at maybe 50% of the rate or maybe a little bit less than that, and that's not a very scientific estimate, I'm just kind of throwing a number out there that is probably more right than wrong. By just eating at maintenance and then not having to deal with unwanted fat gain,
Starting point is 00:37:30 then that's okay. Like you don't have to lean bull, you know? Yeah. So once I'm done with cutting, I'm going to go into maintenance and I kind of want to, you know, reset my body and I want to eat more. I'm getting kind of getting fed up with cutting. So I want to go to maintenance. And then I want to, you know, give maintenance like 12 weeks, I'm also supposed to go on vacation that was, you know, rescheduled. So I want to see how maintenance goes. And then
Starting point is 00:37:57 I want to decide if I want to try lean bulking, because I do want to gain more gain more muscle and strength. Like for example, like squatting, right now I'm squatting my body weight, which nice, yes, which is awesome. And then you know, my deadlift, my weights out 165 pounds right now. So I just want to, I don't want, you know, cutting to, you know, affect that any longer. I really want to see what I can do weight wise and what my body can do and, you know, push my body. So that's where I'm, I'm getting at right now is I just want to see how far I can go weight wise.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Then I would recommend eventually getting around to a lean bulking phase. And it sounds like you'll do just fine. It sounds, I mean, you just kind of treat it similar to when you're cutting and that I would recommend making a meal plan and sticking to it more or less. Of course, you don't have to be perfect with any of this, but not having too many very high calorie days because you're lean bulking and enjoying the extra calories
Starting point is 00:39:06 and understanding that, yeah, you're going to gain a little bit of fat, but what you are going to really like is what happens in the gym. You're probably gonna be a little bit surprised how much of a difference once you've been in a steady, slight surplus for, I think in most people, I think it's fair to say it takes probably two or three weeks for them to really start noticing a difference. And you mentioned that you like carbs. And so I'm assuming you're going to put a lot of carbs in your diet, which is just going to help you more, more than more fat would in the gym. And after a couple of weeks though, it can be surprising how much more energy you have in your workouts and how much faster you're able to progress.
Starting point is 00:39:45 There's definitely a big silver lining to, I'd say it probably is, it's more silver than gray. The little bit of fat gain is like, almost feels like a small, it's just kind of a nuisance, but at least you are going to have probably some of your best workouts during that time. And then of course, you know how to cut, you know that it's very straightforward. It's not particularly pleasant, but if you're doing it right, it's not particularly unpleasant either. You just do it. And if you, I would say have normal genetics, like if you're a normal responder to training, this would also apply to men just for men listening. If you're doing a good job on your lean bulking, you should be able to gain probably like one-to-one muscle to fat. And if you respond particularly well to training, you might be able to gain a bit more muscle than fat. So, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:34 you can stretch that out four months, five months, six months, and have great workouts, gain a considerable amount of muscle and gain some fat. And then just, you know, a couple of months of cutting. And at that point, look at what you have and just be like, okay, well, I'm going to maintain this for a while now. You know, you may not even need to do another round of that. You may want to though, at that point, it's whatever makes sense to you, whatever seems most interesting and most fun. Yeah, definitely looking forward to, I don't know. I like to read and I like to do research. And so I'll have to do a lot of, you know, research and reading before I would start a lean book. Cause I guess it's gonna
Starting point is 00:41:16 be more mentally challenging. Cause it seems scary, but. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I understand. Mechanically, it's pretty simple. You don't have to know that much. I mean, you already know all the fundamentals. It's just a matter of eating more food. Like, you know, consistently being maybe 10% over your estimated total daily energy expenditure. And if you want to bring that down on the weekends, for example, because you're not lifting on the weekends, even if you're maybe doing a little bit of cardio or like walking or just being a little bit active, you could bring your calories down a little bit on the weekends if you want or not. It doesn't make that big of a difference either way. I have one other question for you. So how has what you're doing rubbed off on your kids? Have they noticed it? Has it helped them eat better or have you noticed any positive effects there? Oh, yes. And just not with my kids. It's, you know, my family in general. So my, my husband joined a gym. And because he saw, you know, what I was doing. And he wanted that. So he joined the gym, and he's lost about, you know, 100 pounds. And he's, you know, weightlifting and doing everything that, you know, I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:42:26 And he's not so much good on the, uh, the eating part. So I kind of have to rein him in on that. So I do all the cooking and I'm kind of showing him, you know, what he should, things he shouldn't be eating, things he should be. You're his trainer. You're his coach, but Hey, he's down a hundred pounds. Yeah. And he wants it. So it's not like I'm even forcing it on him. It's something he's asked me to do. And of course, everything is moderation. So if we want to have something we don't normally have in a day, we just make sure, fits into our eating, I, you know, I don't deprive myself of anything. Because obviously, in the past that hasn't worked. And then with my kids, my kids right now are two, five and nine. And they're seeing everything that you know,
Starting point is 00:43:17 we're doing. And when the daycare was open in the gym, they were going to the gym with us on Saturday, so they would, you know, be in the atmosphere. But we're teaching them about nutrition and about staying active, because that's not something I was ever taught as a kid. So I feel like it's very important. And maybe if I had not more knowledge back then, you know, I mean, it's like kind of like the what if type of thing. So I'm just trying to, you know, teach them nutrition, staying, you know, active. We also limit their technology. So we limit how much TV they're watching, you know, their iPad, their video games, things like that, because I want them playing and being active. And it's nice outside. I kick them all
Starting point is 00:44:03 outside and like get outside, go play, get fresh air. Cause we live in the mountains in the country and it's just so beautiful to be outside here. So I'm just like, you know, go. Yeah. Yeah. It's smart. I do the same thing. Another thing I do with my kids is I feed them every single fruit and I feed them every single vegetable. You know, it was a fight in the beginning. I was like, you know, try it, at least try it for me. Or I would put the vegetables in something more fun for them to sneak it in. But my kids today will eat every single vegetable, every single fruit. They eat asparagus, Brussels sprouts. My two-year-old eats avocado off a plate. And it's just awesome to see. Yeah, that's totally awesome. That's great. I mean,
Starting point is 00:44:51 my wife and I tried to do that with our kids and we got them to find fruits and vegetables they like, but we didn't get to where they would just eat any fruits and vegetables. But we got to enough of a variety that I was like, okay, this is fine. Like they're willing to eat four or five, six different fruits and three or four, maybe five different vegetables, depending on how they're prepared. And they're willing to do that every day. And they're willing to eat some whole grains as well. You know, they like oatmeal and they like Icelandic yogurt, which is, I just prefer that over Greek yogurt and they'll eat, you know, chicken. So they'll eat protein. And I think we have all of our bases covered,
Starting point is 00:45:29 even though there are some things that, yeah, it would be, it would be like a force feeding session to get it down. So we'll just leave those ones out. Yeah. And of course, you know, they're kids. So, you know, we let our kids be kids. So if they want ice cream during the summer, we let them have ice cream. I'm not going to deprive them of their childhood. It's a balance. And you also know you don't need to. It's just not necessary. I mean, they have a very nutritious diet.
Starting point is 00:45:56 And as you know, I mean, the principles that you know, they apply to kids as well. We're just talking about amounts. I mean, for the average adult, it's recommended that we don't go over, I believe it's about 30 grams, maybe a little bit less or a little bit more. I don't remember the exact number, 30 grams or so of added sugar every day. It might be 35. So that's an adult. Of course, it would be different for a two-year-old kid, but it's not zero. It's not like on average, your two-year-old has, if you were to average it out, a few grams, five grams of added sugar because you let them have a little popsicle or something. But they're eating fruits, they're eating vegetables, they're eating whole grains.
Starting point is 00:46:32 It doesn't take much protein, obviously, for a small little body, but they're getting some protein. Their body's getting all of the nutrition that it needs. Then adding some sugar or adding some non-nutritious foods into it, there's just no health-oriented reason to not do that. And I don't know about you, but I remember a couple of friends growing up, and then I guess I've seen some now kids as an adult who have parents who would be very restrictive, not allow any sugar, any quote unquote junk food. And so, what did they do when they got older is they just went to their friend's house and binged on it. It's just not a very practical strategy to try to heavily restrict the foods that your kids eat.
Starting point is 00:47:18 I think what you're doing makes a lot more sense. Teach them how to nourish their bodies and then let them have some stuff that they, some treats as well. And I don't know about you, but I've been doing that again with my kids and my kids are happy to have some ice cream here and there, have something here and there, but they also could just as easily not, they don't really care that much about having non-nutritious foods because it's never been something that is taboo, something we've just allowed them to have a little of consistently and that has worked out. Same thing with technology because that's been like that from the beginning. I guess they're
Starting point is 00:47:52 just used to no TV during the week, for example, and no iPad. We let my son read books on the tablet if he wants to do that, but no just watching YouTube videos or playing games or anything. And we let them do some of that on the weekend. And it's been like that since the beginning. And he's happy to go out and play. And even on the weekend when it's time to get off the screen, it's not a big deal. Okay, fine. Just commending your parenting. Thank you. So my nine-year-old's a girl. And I guess from seeing me and my husband and everything else, she's excited to potentially, when she's older, to work out and everything else. And it's really cool to see that rub off on her. And a couple of weeks ago, I started actually taking yoga classes once a week.
Starting point is 00:48:40 I realized that I need to work more on on my flexibility. From working out from lifting and stuff, my flexibility is not so great. So I started doing yoga, and they have a mini yoga class on Saturdays. So I take my nine year old and she's doing the mini yoga, and I'm doing the you know, regular yoga, and that helps her because she does dance since she's been dancing since she was two, and she's been in the competition dance program for the past four years. So the yoga, you know, helps her in that aspect. So it's just really great that, you know, that the whole family's just involved in too. And it's like a great family activity is what I want to say. So we're not just, you know, sitting on the couch, watching TV as a family. We're eating food. Like we're getting out, we're having fun. You know, we're going to the park.
Starting point is 00:49:26 We're, you know, walking outside in the mountains. It's awesome. I don't know. I just, I love it. Yeah. It's a nice life. It's a good lifestyle for sure. Well, this was great, Nicole.
Starting point is 00:49:36 I really appreciate you again, taking the time. Love your story. Love what you've done so far. And not that it needs to be said, but keep up the good work and definitely keep me posted on how your first lean bulk goes. Send me an email when you're a couple of months into it. Well, let's say when you're at least one month, when you start to notice the difference, let me know what you think. I definitely will. And thank you so much for letting me be on here. I listen to the podcast all the time and it it's just great that, you know, now I can put my story out there and hopefully this helps at least even one person where, you know, their stories have helped me.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Totally. Yeah. I always enjoy doing these and always get good feedback. I think of one woman, I believe her name was Maria that I interviewed some time ago and similarities in your stories. some time ago and similarities in your stories. I believe she also had three kids and busy, but made it happen. And a lot of women reached out just to let me know they really liked it. And so I'm sure this one will resonate as well. Glad to hear that. Awesome. I look forward to hearing the updates. I look forward to the LeanBulk update in particular. I will. I'll definitely be reaching out to you. Cool. All right. Well, that's it for this episode. I hope you enjoyed it and found it interesting and helpful. And if you did, and you don't mind doing me a favor, please do leave a quick review
Starting point is 00:50:56 on iTunes or wherever you're listening to me from in whichever app you're listening to me in, because that not only convinces people that they should check out the show, it also increases search visibility. And thus it helps more people find their way to me and learn how to get fitter, leaner, stronger, healthier, and happier as well. And of course, if you want to be notified when the next episode goes live, then simply subscribe to the podcast and you won't miss out on any new stuff. And if you didn't like something about the show, please do shoot me an email at mike at muscleforlife.com, just muscle, F-O-R, life.com, and share your thoughts on how I can do this better. I read everything myself and I'm always looking for constructive feedback, even if
Starting point is 00:51:46 it is criticism. I'm open to it. And of course, you can email me if you have positive feedback as well, or if you have questions really relating to anything that you think I could help you with, definitely send me an email. That is the best way to get ahold of me, mikeatmusclefullife.com. And that's it. Thanks again for listening to this episode and I hope to hear from you soon.

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