My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 101: Sext Fiction

Episode Date: April 23, 2012

You thought we were going to call it quits after a hundred episodes? We'll be honest -- we considered it. But we managed to overcome our extreme exhaustion to bring you another episode chock-full of tangents and straight-up gobbledigook. Suggested talking points: Holo-B.I.G., Leap Anniversary, Scorpion Improvement, Recovery Sandwich Recovery, Choose Your Own Adventure, Wingmanning, The Theme to Doug, Lady and the Tramp Killer

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Live from Coachella, it's hologram. My brother and my brother and me, we are made of light 2012. That's the name of the tour, but also we are holograms. Hello everyone, beep boop bop boop beep. I've secretly been a hologram this entire time.

You are made of light, and as a result, you know Tupac. Yeah, me and Tupac hang out. We were both made of light and ghost magic, and we both performed at the Coachella stage, but you couldn't see me very well, because my light wasn't turned on very bright. Oh, that sucks. If you look really closely at the videos, you can see me in the back, and I am just viciously seawalking. The problem that hologram Tupac ran into is he was out of time reversal cubes.

That is a joke. That is a time traveler goop that literally two people and they're both on the show with you. But it's a hologram game, you see. Yeah, I got that. My boy Rick Dyer, creator of Time Traveler, the hologram game. Maybe let's try New Goofs. Am I the only person that when I hear Coachella, I always just assume it's an Italian liquor? You are the only person.

I'm the only person that does that. I think most of us are like in the loop on Coachella, right? I don't know what Coachella is. I did not know this until a couple days ago, my roommate pointed it out. So Coachella, they had the weekend lineup. For two weekends ago, and then they brought that same exact lineup back, the same exact schedule for this past weekend. What?

They did two weekends of identical Coachellas. Why? I guess it's so big that they can't fit it all in one Coachella. But do you think that like, imagine being a musical actor, it's like, all right, let's do this whole same thing again. And also imagine like you're high on Cokeweed and you're like, what's happening? What's that? Where are you?

Is Tupac back again? Yeah, saw this already on YouTube. Thanks, though. I want you guys to know that before I knew that there was a hologram angle to the story, and I just read like the article headline Tupac performs at Coachella. Yeah. I lost in my mind. Sure.

I was like, I knew it. I've known all along. I knew it. Second performance, check this out. Second performance, hologram Tupac. Everyone's like, yonzo. And then who's that? Hologram, B-I-G. What are they doing?

Laser tag. They're shooting the hologram lasers from their fingers and fighting each other. They hologram, but hologram Tupac gets shot. He gets de-rezzed. Right? He gets, yeah, he gets to have a hologram biggie. 15 years from now. What's up?

Hologram of Tupac's hologram. Hologram, hologram, hologram Tupac. Machiavelli, rise again. 9-Eleven was a hoax. That was a Tupac thing, right? He was in the spare change. Why do you have to? Was that a Tupac thing?

I can't, I don't recall if that was a Tupac. How could that possibly be related to Tupac? I feel like he was, he was- 9-Eleven is numbers, and so is two. And two is in Tupac. Tupac. I do, I do enjoy his music. I do not enjoy his holograms.

This is my brother, my brother made an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother, hologram Travis McElroy. I'm your baby brother, holo biggie. I'm also Griffin McElroy.

And I'm Jim. It's a shame that Jim didn't come out, because it feels like once you have Tupac, hologram Tupac, that you're missing opportunity if you don't have Jim and the holograms also perform. You could have hologram Jim Belushi out there. All day long. And no one would have watched him.

Wouldn't that be a fart in the face if you were still alive? And instead they went with the hologram thing, and they're like, no, we don't need the real person. We'll just do hologram Travis. Also, wouldn't that be crazy if people went to see Jim Belushi on the stage?

Hologram or no. In any context, basically. You're going to see the Belushi tonight? Sold out Madison Square Garden in this bathroom. The bathroom, the first four bathroom, men's bathroom, Madison MSG. He's playing there. It's a 10 seater.

With himself. I miss Jim Belushi. I wish. What's he doing now? Is he still according to Jim? He's programming the Tupac hologram. This is my greatest creation. I thought it was the pilot script,

which I had a consulting credit on of according to Jim. But no. No, it's this. It's hologram Tupac. If I die, if I ever do die. That is not my plan, but. If God ever finally gets the better of me. Well, you guys promised to never make a hologram with me.

I can't do that. It just seems don't because they were making him say stuff. What? He's never he never said he said like, what's up Coachella, which wasn't invented until like three years after I died. I love PBR. Yeah.

How you doing? Wait, so wait, I did not. I did not see this video. Is it was it sort of like a, was it like a Pirates of the Caribbean vibe where it was like hologram animatronic Tupac? Is that the is that the score? No, it was just doing lines from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Why would it need to be two? Why would you need to be a hologram and a puppet? Because they're making him say stuff you said. He was saying stuff he never said, which the magic for that. I do not know how that I guess maybe they got maybe DMX. He kind of sounds like Tupac. He's got that gravelly voice.

That's racist. No, he's got a gravelly Tupac like voice. Maybe they brought him up because he's not doing much of anything nowadays. He's not really the hit maker that he used to be. But don't make me, don't bring me back to life in a hollow form and then make me say shit that I wouldn't have said IRL.

What if we can promise to say really true to the Griffin McRoy character? That would be great. Just talk about like, yo, can't wait to go to Walgreens and get some on sale Easter candy. That is totally, totally legit. I wish Disney would release bug juice on DVD.

Now we're just reading my tweets. So as you've probably guessed, this is an advice show for the modern era. As important as hologram Tupac is, maybe we should get to the advice. Hey, brothers, just so you know, I took your advice and moved in with my wife and we're engaged.

We got married on February 29th. Yes, leap year. No, she does not poop in the shower. And finally, I have a question about our anniversary. Should I do something small every year on February 28th and do something a bit bigger every leap year? Or should I wait till leap year and do something freaking huge

four years worth combined to one? That's from leaping into it. Jesus. Yikes. You got, you can't save it up like that. Like the expectation, every four years, you would have to like turn your body into like stars and then shoot into the heavens

and make her on a psychedelic trip into space. I have some bad news. So far, you're not good at marrying marriage. You messed up basically the first thing. Yeah. That you can't. Which is don't get married on imaginary days. Yeah.

When do you have your anniversary? It's crazy. I'm sure it seemed normal. I didn't sneak, did it sneak up on you? Were you like, we'll just do it this Sunday and it turned out to be February 29th? Like, were you that casual about it? Maybe he was trying to make a goof

who's trying to, you know, sneak his way out of it. He says, yeah, we can get married on February 29th. If such a day were to even exist on December 32nd. And she caught you. She caught you. You got to just do something February. Effectively, your anniversary is February 29th. Um, but you can, you should absolutely

observe it February 28th. Now, here's a good thing. February 29th is technically also, I mean, it's more accurately March 1st. So if you forget on February 28th, you got like a built-in cushion. So like, well, I like to observe it on March 1st. That'll work.

That'll work once. I feel like my anniversary is one of the things that I'm, it's one of those, like as you get older, I think the novelty of birthdays and it kind of wears off because it's like, oops, gonna die. But I think with my anniversary, that's one of the few that I actually feel pretty proud of. Cause it's like, hey, world, nice try in this world of,

of fragile marriages and Kardashians. I, I'm still, I'm still standing. We did, we did it again. Sorry, world. But, and here's the other thing leaping into it, not to tear you down, but it's also one of the few you actually get to pick the day of. You don't get to pick your birthday.

Don't get to pick Christmas. You can schedule your anniversary ahead of time. Well, no, you can't. But yeah, you can say, I think our anniversary should be in June. Let's get married in June. That's not how that works though. I think it is.

I'm almost certain. When you get married, Justin, when you and Sydney decided on July 1st. When you dedicated your lives to each other. That beautiful, beautiful Friday afternoon. I think it was a Saturday. Did you, did you think like, oh man, this is going to be a totally killer day for,

for all, all future years to come? No, I thought this will be easy to remember. It is, cause I can do it. And I'm, I am not involved in the arrangement at all. Not in the slightest. It's actually the very first day of the second half of the year. So. Yeah.

You kick it off with a bang. Kick it off. Kick it off. The second. Kick it off. Two, three. Two, three. Kick it, two, three.

This fiscal quarter of marriage, we're rocking into it with a, in a big way. Year over year. We are looking at huge dividends, but which I mean, I guess like sex stuff. That I just made myself uncomfortable. I, I prefer you. We not discuss this anymore.

We don't have to. If you, my younger brother Griffin, though he is not married, he has a, he has, he is very adept apparently at marriage, because if he could not be right, more crap that if you try to combine four years of anniversaries into one, someday your fiance will remember

February 28th as the day Ricky threw himself out the plate glass window. Cause you're never, you're never going to be able to handle that. You can do maybe one of those. Be like, Hey, I rented out all of Australia. Let's go crazy. Right.

But you can't do that twice. It'll kill you. You'll die. I taught our baby to sing or something. Taught our baby to dance and he sings your favorite song and he wrote it. So the baby wrote your favorite song and he's three months old.

This is our anniversary. But I also want to picture the conversation on the off years in that where you're like, not this year, baby. Nope. Oh man, I got something cooking. I've been done in the lab. This is only year one of the four year cycle.

You got three more years of anticipation. Can we fucking just like go to Ponderosa there? Can we just like go to Ponderosa? No, no. I got to stand it out. No, I'm going to sleep straight through the day. Just to make sure that I don't do anything nice for you. If you can't, if your wife asks you to take her to Ponderosa

and you say no, you don't have a good reason for that, I guarantee you. But here's the thing. If your wife is asking you to take her to Ponderosa, you've already said a troubling precedent in your relationship at some point. You've got bigger questions to answer. Yeah, you've got bigger questions than

exactly how much food and can I eat? Where can I find an open Ponderosa? What is your driest steak? Give me your very driest meatloaf. Can you carve a rib off of that giant piece of beef for me? That actually sounds great. It's our special day. Honey, I hit a ring inside of your ribs.

Your literal ribs. Get it out. Saw six. This year. All right, this is plenty. Griffin, let's play of help. Just don't do that dumb thing you said that you probably know is dumb.

Yeah, you do something every year on the 28th. Do something every year on the 28th. And couple it with an apology every time. I got you this and also I'm sorry that we did it on the 29th. Here's a related question. This one was sent in by Steve Lewis. Thank you, Steve. It's by Yahoo!

Answers user Mary Mary X3O who asks, How do I improve my scorpions? My scorpions are okay, but not the best. How do I improve them? I've been struggling with them for months. That's it? That's so important. That's the context?

Best at what? By the way, when I said that it was related, I meant completely diametrically. Best in what capacity? Okay, well with scorpions, you have four basic criteria for judging their quality. It's their four danger zones, right? Yeah, the four danger zones that you've got to worry about.

One, exoskeleton. Yes. Two. What kind of chitin is he working with? Yeah. Can we improve it? How's your chitin? Is he getting enough vitamin D?

That's huge for chitin. D is, I say, I've always said. What's your motto? You always tell people and you have it cross-stitched up on the, hanging up there in the den above the fireplace. What is it? It's about. It's, it's, you got to have D

if you want, if you don't, if you don't shed your, don't shed your, don't shed that chitin. Put, fuck. It took, it took our mom weeks to stitch exactly that, but Griffin. And she was not a swearing woman. Yeah, she did not enjoy swearing, but I mean, Griffin was very specific.

So armor. Armor, that's number one. Second, of course, claws. Does it look like a little crab? Do I know if scorpions have claws? How are the pincers? How are the pincers? Number three, obviously, pointy tail.

What's in there? Who knows? Caramel? Poison? I hope. I injected some caramel into all your treats. I'm the best scorpion ever. And then what's the fourth one?

Heat coming off the genitals. How is, how is it's genital heat? Also, can you find my scorpion's genitals for me? I'll show you. Can I make a 1980s movie called Genital Heat? I've been over this motherfucker's thorax with a fine tooth comb. No genitals to be found. And also for your scorpion, a big thing is,

how hard did it nail the solo and rock you like a hurricane? Because that's vital. That's huge for scorpion. Is it possible that this person is actually saying, how do I make my band, the 1980s band Scorpion better? I bought them from some kind of closeout sale. Got them at Ollie's at the Grandview Weekend Outlet on bargain. And they just don't have the luster they once did.

Well, that's guaranteed. I, one time I thought I stepped on a scorpion. That's a real thing I have to deal with down here in Texas. In the rural areas, they're just our scorpions. And I have to deal with the reality that the scorpions are that's terrifying. For me, like scorpions might as well be dragons. Yeah.

You know, because you've never seen one or because they are just doombringers. They're, well, they're that far from my sphere of reality. Like, what would you do if you walked out of your front lawn and there was one there right now? I would, I mean, I don't know what I would. I mean, the reality is so far from, I would sooner, I would be less confused if I saw a naked blonde woman standing in a pile of ashes with three scorpions crawling on her and talking about how she's going to, to lead the Dothraki armies. Like that would, that would be the context in which scorpions would be acceptable.

If I just saw one in like my day to day, I would probably assume that it was the matrix. Like that, that Morpheus was fucking with me. Oh, something's gone wrong in the, in the programming. Hiccup in the programming. Justin saw a scorpion. So he was wearing a tiny top hat. You would improve this man's scorpions by making them invisible and also in space. All right.

If you see a scorpion in your house, your very next stop is a, is like a, is an open house. Century 21. Yeah. Pardon me. I, this is a lovely open house. Thank you for having me. I'll take it. Here's my way.

Cannot sell my old house because the scorpion lives there now. It's his now. It is now. I'm going to try to charge him taxes on the sale, but I don't know how the scorpions don't have money. Can we, can we improve the, the mass marketability of these scorpions? You guys are missing the obvious answer. What's that Travis? Steroids.

Travis, I don't think that. Wait. You're running away from me because you want to make these scorpions like super beefy. I don't know that they have beef. Right. I don't know that they have beef to, to imbefin. You know, I think it's just, just skittling. Well not yet.

Skittling. You gotta, you gotta get them on a regime. It's, it's all chitin and. On a regimen. It's chitin and just hate in there. Maybe you could paint, paint, paint their shells like hermit crabs. Okay. Now see, I like that.

Paint the scorpion for human, for, for kids, for kids. This is what I'm talking about. Can we make scorpions the new furbies? Of course. Just a tiny cork on, on their stingers. Okay. That would be adorable. That would be adorable.

It's claws though. And rubber bands on their claws. Did we talk about the claws? Is that been verified? That just, that just kind of looks like a scorpion who's into like weird bondage, which I can't imagine a more terrifying thing. I, why do I, I have, I think scorpions are so hateful that if you cork their tails and rubber banded their claws, that they'd like learn to bite or learn how to.

Yeah, they'll grow things. Learn how to use a gun. Or just become really spiteful. Use their words to hurt you. Looking fat today, J-Ram. Hair's looking a little thin. Not as young as you used to be, J-Ram. So he turns into Beetlejuice.

You know, it reminds me of that. It's an old parable. It's an old story of the, the frog and the scorpion. And the frog gives the scorpion a ride across the river and halfway across, the scorpion starts calling him, I don't know, like fat and stupid and stuff. And the frog starts crying. He's like, why are you such an asshole? The scorpion's like, it's in my nature.

Yeah. Yeah. And then he's, but then does he sting him? No. Because he's got a tiny cork on his tail. Oh, that's right. He just batters him with the cork. He's like, oh my eye.

Ow. This is my new line of frog safe scorpions. Each one is $20. Who is the first to buy? Can you imagine a frog with a scorpion on its back and the frog is also full of hate? And then like, you get that, you get that lethality of a scorpion with the mobility of a frog? Well, we're done. Oh, shit.

And the frog is secreting some sort of hallucinogen. So the scorpion is just freaked out. And also the frog has a really high credit score. So he's able to like get a house. Why would the, why would the, okay. The scorpion knows, the scorpion knows American sign language so he can talk to deaf people. And one of them is played by Ray Romano. Oh my God.

The frog is Ray Romano. Okay. Oh, and the scorpions played by Tim Allen. We've got a hit. Listen, this is the least productive meeting we've had about Madagascar 4 yet. And I think I need to go back to the drawing board and really see where we're going to stray. I have a theory that it's when we introduce scorpions. Yeah.

They ruin everything, including our Madagascar 4 production meetings. Um, I'm reading more of this Yahoo answer. And I think that a scorpion is a yoga position. Oh, ah, moving on. None of this, none of that was helpful to this person. But if you, you don't know, you don't know. You throw it out of the wall. You see what sticks.

They might have found something and that was useful. Scorpions, their, their feet are like needles. Yeah. Hey, brothers. There's someone, there's someone really into yoga that's been screaming at their iPod for five minutes. You dumb motherfuckers. Hey, brothers, I got out of a two year long relationship in February and I got over her

very quickly. Allah, the recovery sandwich. Problem is I'm finding it hard to ease into a relationship or casual, dating. I dove in and started dating another girl. It didn't work out and I got out. Now I'm seeing another girl, but we went from meeting three weeks ago. She's spending three or four nights a week at my place in that short and sweet time.

What advice do you have for pumping the brakes to ease into this relationship? That's from Lava Lange in Louisville. Oh, gosh, this is. This is thorny because here's the thing. It may be, maybe it's real. And if that's the case, then there's nothing, there's nothing wrong. But I think the fact that you are asking how to pump the brakes means that it is moving a little too fast for you.

You know, and I see it a lot and I, I don't know if we've talked about it before, but when you leave, whatever circumstances and a long term relationship, there's this just minefield of immediately wanting to get back to that level of comfort. And you know, it's unavoidable. You're going to do that when you get out of a relationship and you never really casually dated. Like, yeah, it's the reason that you see, it's the reason you see rebound so quickly. You know, so, so often is because it's not a weird kind of, it's a weird kind of rebound because it's not like, it's not like you're just like swinging through bars, trying to get

trim, you know, you're, you're trying to find a new replacement for that, you know, that long-term girlfriend. I bet you see this rebound more often than you see the swinging through bars rebound. Yeah, you may try that for like two days for a weekend. So my only worry with, with rushing this is, and I'm not like, typically I'm, I'm sort of a go for it kind of guy. I think, you know, whatever, you only go around once and who knows how much time we have. So just go for it.

But I do think that you're going to burn through a lot of good stuff by moving this too quickly. I mean, there's a lot of getting to know you type stuff that you lose, I think once you, or not lose, but you can miss out on if you rush right into like, we're living together, which is where you are careening towards. Um, now, now I, I hate to interrupt Justin, but it also might be possible. I know that it also might be possible that it's just your M.O. Because I know that I am a fast-moving person in relationships.

So it had nothing to do with, you know, any kind of past relationship I was getting out of just, I met my girlfriend, we hit it off very quickly and we were living together like three months later. Yeah, you know, three months is a far cry from three weeks. I agree, I agree. But they're not living together. Yeah, they're just spending three or four nights a week together. They met three weeks ago. I mean, I don't think there's anything, if you didn't send in this question to us to ask us

what you should do, then there would be no problem with this at all. Good point. Good point. Like if you, if you think like, my advice, the best thing I can offer you is to wonder if you are worried things are moving too fast because like society or your friends say that, or if you're legitimately worried things are moving too fast. It's not that. It's that you got to have, it's a reasonable level of doubt.

When you get out of a long-term relationship, everything in your body tells you, okay, let's take some time off, let's just do some quiet reflection, because that's the best thing you can do after a long-term relationship, is do like a fucking long debriefing and just like figure out what went wrong, what qualities in that person drove you away from them and what qualities in yourself you can improve to make yourself better for the next person and do all that stuff. And it's hard to do all that stuff when you are like in another beginnings of a long-term relationship. That completely discounts the possibility that you just meet someone really important and like,

are we going to keep him at arm's length because you got to get your shit worked out? Well, see, that's why I think like it's really hard to be this kind of self-reflective, but you got to look at it and say like, is any of this forced or was there just a supernatural, super automatic connection with this person and I'm worrying about it too much. Yeah, I think that that's the important, I think that that's the key thing is just to know that I softly know why you are doing this and try to like take a really sort of practical look at your own state of being and see why you are moving it so fast, because if it's moving that fast and you don't feel in control, that's a problem,

because that's your self-conscious trying to push you back into a long-term relationship. As far as pumping the brakes on this relationship, I don't know, I feel like this situation is kind of ubiquitous for anybody who's ever been in and then out of a long-term relationship. You got to go full disclosure. You got to say, and I got out of this long-term relationship, it didn't work out. I rushed into another one that also didn't work out because we just moved too fast or whatever. I really like you, but I don't want to move this thing too fast because the last time I did that, it didn't work out. But I do want to keep my exclusive deal on dating you. I want to keep an option to move this forward, but I want to keep exclusivity.

Well, that's going to be, that might be harder to negotiate. That might be too much. You got to have that in the contract. You got to have that in your deal. Well, don't bring paperwork into it, because that's intimidating. Well, you could have like a non-biting mediation. Okay, good. Get a free party. Get a Notary public there and have them sort of oversee your conversation. But have them sworn to secrecy. Cool. So, we were on a tear there for like three minutes. We're actually saying things that a person could actually do in real life. You can get a Notary public.

Yeah. How hard is that? Like, sure. I tell you what, I'm going to try to become one before the end of this show and we'll see. And we'll just see who's laughing. Get on Google. Then just Google. You're in the tall grass, my friend, but at least you're not cripplingly lonely. Hey, don't psych yourself out. Yeah. Yeah. Just stay honest with yourself and be honest with her. You are in a completely, no matter what you actually want, you completely have the moral high ground here. Just be careful that you don't miss out on something really great because you're second guessing yourself too much. It may just be the right person and you may not have met them at

the ideal time and sometimes you just got to roll with it. Because if it's the if it's the one, your special one, then you won't burn out living together and you'll be magical. And you know what? I think it's probably just good advice overall to relax, you know, and maybe that will help you slow down or it will help you take stock of the relationship as is. So maybe not try to know where it's going and how it's going to turn out and not try to rush it, but not try to slow down and just take it at its own pace. So breathe. I feel like we just touched, I feel like half of our listeners are probably going through this right now. Yeah, probably. And you know what? It's funny because the older I get and the more

shows we do, the more I can basically tell a question to askers age just from the question. Because if a 30 year old person finds 31 like myself, finds someone who wants to be with them, it's like, Oh, thank God. Oh, God, I'm not going to be alone. Please sign this. Please sign this. Please, please. I just want I don't want to die. I don't want to die in front of my mori Povic. I can't stop eating frozen Frenchman pizzas. I've been eating frozen Frenchman pizzas. Just love me so I'm safe. I'll throw up my tortillas. Just please don't leave again. I don't know. I'm keeping my options open. We're moving too fast. Fuck that. Focusing on my career. I'm moving too fast through these empty cartons of Ben and Jerry's.

Please move in with me. Please. I just need something to hang on to. Some kind of lifeline. I'm drowning here. Running around lonely in its place. You guys want to do a yahoo? Yeah, please. This yahoo is sent in by Yasmil Cruz. Thank you, Yasmil. That's a dope ass name. Yep, good work. It's by yahoo answers user Sydney who asks, How to end a sexting convo? Please don't judge me first of all. My boyfriend wants to sext me. No pics. But I don't really want I don't really know how to end the conversation. My friend says she just doesn't reply, but I don't want to do that. How would I end it? Thanks, smiley face. You break up with them. Man, I hope that's not my wife.

Justin, it's S-Y-D-N-E-E. Shit. How do you end a sexting conversation? I love, well, I don't love. I'm terrified by the sentence. My friend says she just doesn't reply, which to me, I'm just imagining like an iPhone where it's all just like one side of a text conversation like I'm touching my peanuts now. I'm touching it again. I'm touching it a third time. Do you hear me? I'm still doing it. Yep, just now I'm just flicking it. I know you're there. The best way to end any sexting conversation is to continue the fiction. So then you text the person, now I'm going to the bathroom to wash up. I'm going to say, I'm taking a quick pee. I'm not seeing what's on TV. I'm making something good. I'm making some eggs.

I was out in the garden for like three hours. I'm like super grody down there. Wait a minute. No, you're starting off the fiction. You're starting the fiction, the classic gardener and gardener fiction. I'm trying to end, I'm saying you end it. You say like, I just played like six hours of frisbee golf. It's really, really swampy. That's how you keep from sexting the first place. Right. That's what you say. Oh, I've got a really bad habit. So you're saying how do you end it before you begin? Oh, man, I am so bloated. Let's not. Hey, do you smell that? I ate a whole subway footlong. Just let me sleep. I at least shouldn't have gone golden corral first. Let me

sleep off this footlong. The only thing on the footlong was black olives. I think I'm septic. Hey, does this look infected to you or what? Oh, my stuff is pickle. Please let me sleep. I got some real bad bubble guts. Oh, Christ. My teeth are falling out. I'm on a family plan. I'm on a family plan with my dad. Please stop. I don't get free texting. Oh, my hair is falling out. You keep interrupting my games to draw something. How am I supposed to fruit and enjoy this? Please no. Hold on. Let me put my leg on. Oh, shit. No, that's not fair. The McCarthy woman is beautiful. Jenny McCarthy? No, Jenny McCarthy can ramp a Volvo into a pile of flaming shit for all I care.

I hate her. I'm talking about Mrs. Paul McCartney, the one-legged lady who's so sweet. She's very good. Okay, so sexting endings. Bye-bye. Bye. No, thanks, but no. No, you are not touching it. Yeah, I disagree. You could subvert their fiction. That's good. I start unzipping my pants and then it gets stuck, right? And it's stuck and you're hopping around the room and you're like, as you put your underpants on backwards and the flaps on the other side. Yeah. And then you're hopping around so much that you fall over and your head hits the corner of an end table. Oh, God, you're bleeding. Not like this, God. Not like this. Say something. Not again.

You smell smoke coming from the door. Do you touch it with the back of your hand or go to sleep? I can't even choose your adventure. Turn to page 57. Oops, you died. You found the cave troll. You can try again on page 38. Maybe this time don't grab the magic sword, by which I mean your dick. You encounter a troll. Check your satchel to see what you have with you. North. You go north and die in the fires. Please don't try to fuck me on my phone. It's my dad's phone. Why do you keep texting my dad? I called you from this number once. Is it this hard? Can't you just? I'm starting to think the non-response is the way to go, though. Yeah. No, because that's, no, that's giving them free reign to just molest you with words.

I wouldn't let someone send me a romantic novel that they wrote about me and them. Do you know what I mean? You say you wouldn't? I would not. I probably would. I was gonna say, if somebody called you, if it was well written, if the syntax was good, if it had vampires, because that's huge right now. That's real big. It's like biting, biting a wiener. Is that, I don't know. Don't, wait, what? Like the vampire, like drinks wiener blood. Is it in that why it's so hot right now? It's like the thought of like, I'm imagining, isn't that why vampire sex, when you do mouth stuff, the fangs for pleasure? Just keep going. Yeah, keep going. I gotta know more about this.

I don't know. I don't understand why vampire sex is so great and why it's so hot in the TV. Only thing I could think of, mouth stuff, fangs, good. Oh, okay. All right. I think I'm kind of with you now. So you put two and two together and make gross. Yeah. Okay. I've never sexted. I don't think anyone above the age of 15 has ever sexted. I bet you're probably wrong on that front, Trav. You think, I'm just trying to imagine like, how one as an adult, like with a job out in the world starts that without being embarrassed. Well, like, have you ever done karaoke? Yeah. It's basically the same thing. Okay. So you get a couple drinks in you and you

just roll with it. You're home, home in your bathroom. You watch someone else do it really badly and you're like, I could be better than that. Yeah. Yeah. I could sex you. Let me sex you better. I could sex you better than a man. Step aside. Let me show you. Let me show you. Step aside. What I really want is a written permanent record of my feeble, humiliating attempts to be sexy. That's great. That's fantastic. How quickly can you get this on Reddit? That's my question. How quickly can we spread this around? I want everyone to know what a Lothario I am with the texting. That's why it's also important that you include pictures. But because you know, you can trust the person that just texted you, hey, show me your dick.

Yeah. Well, I would, I would, I think I would put a little bit more flavor in your ear than that. What would you break us off? What's that thing you had crossed? I'm so turgid right now. Okay. Okay. I'm turgid. I just went from flaccid to engorged. My member is voluminous. It's glowing. It's billowing. It looks like a beautiful parachute down there. I'm meant to talk to you about that actually. I don't think anybody should be sexy because it's a sin because no babies can come of it. So obviously my religion doesn't permit it. Sure. It's got to be for procreation. You disapprove of rumping for the very same reason. Yeah. Is that, I'm sorry. Is that debut? Rumping? Yeah. Oh, God, it obviously is.

What if you sexed a rump, a rumping sin fiction, sex to rumping fiction? That's my favorite Bell and Sebastian song. Do you mean like, do you mean like saying like, I don't want, I don't, can we not? No, I was, I backed out of this. I am like that. I don't. I take this. I, I get my, I prepare my fanny, send, wait, response. Nope. Why, I powder my fanny in preparation. You know that fanny doesn't necessarily mean what you think it means across the universe, right? What is a fanny in other parts of the universe? Like, it's a vagina. Holy shit. Holy shit. My butts a vagina.

That didn't make any sense. Pretty much nothing we've said for the past 40 minutes. Jesus. First law and order. Now the word fanny. Is there anything the UK can't ruin? You guys are so lucky that we got into the Dr. Who and we're helping you out on that. Yeah, well, don't worry. You guys can't be trusted with anything. You know what? You know what you can trust us with? What's that, Justin? Your money. Of course, we don't want you to give us your money. We want you to give your money to our dear friend, Brent O Floss. And this isn't one of those like bullshit internet friendships. Yeah. This is like real world. Yeah. Travis, tell us about Brent. Well, I met Brent,

my freshman year of college, and we've been friends ever since. That's not true. Fresh year college, we did not like each other, but then we moved in together sophomore year, still not liking each other. And then we became best friends and lived together for three years and have been friends for like the last decade. Here's some great advice. Don't do that. Yeah. No, it actually worked out really well. I would recommend it to anyone because if you move in with like your best friend, you're going to annoy each other and ruin it. Yeah. If you move in with someone that already kind of annoys you, you'll actually find all kinds of things that you have in common and things that you really like about each other and become best friends. But let's

not focus on that. Let's focus on Brent. What does Brent do, Travis? What is his game? Honestly, he's brilliant. I'll tell you this. My brother, my brother and me would not exist without Brent. Brent is an internet comedian and basically he takes all kinds of video game music and writes video game inspired music, basically adds lyrics and does really funny YouTube videos. And he's just put out a second CD called Bits of Me and I got to listen to a sneak preview of it. And it is both hilarious and at some points moving. Travis, you got that sneak peek. You want to hook us up? Give us a taste. Yes, I do. Give us a taste. Yeah. Zelda, why? Why it's me. It's the little Linky. No, it's you. No, me.

Meet me in the dungeon, dear. Or wherever danger's near. How I miss your little baby face. In my arms, though, you're out of place. How I love the thought of you in chains. Please get kidnapped again. Be my damn cell. But be in distress. Please let me have a second glass. So you like Zelda? You like Mario, Mega Man, Star Fox, Castlevania II, Contra, Banjo, Kazooie. He riffs. I can say, can I say riffs? He riffs on all of those in musical styles ranging from rock to bluegrass to Dixieland jazz. They got more. And the best part about it, even if you don't know about those video games, like my girlfriend, we just listened. You know, I made her listen to his first CD. She loved it, ate it up and she doesn't know

half the video games that are on there. So he's brilliant. He's brilliant. He's great. And the thing is, you can get his new CD and preorder it until April 26th for 1299. You just go to Brentoll Floss B-R-E-N-T-A-L-F-L-O-S-S dot com and preorder it and then say like, hey, I'm pre-order this because I heard about it on MBNBAM. If you go to brettelfloss.com, you can also listen to some samples, I'm sure, of his work. And while you're there, you can also see the webcomic that he puts out in which he and I are roommates and they kind of tell some real, some made up stories of our time together as roommates. Has he written a song with music from Shenmue in it?

Not yet. Has he written a song with music from Seaman in it? Not yet. NFL 2K5? Yes. Okay. Brentoll Floss.com, go right now, preorder it. You only have until April 26th. So you've got like three days to get this CD and you're going to want it. I've already pre-ordered mine.

I could not be more excited to enjoy it and I would suggest you do the same. Brentoll Floss.com. Travis is Brent's roommate. You can't trust Travis on this. Me, I hate the guy's guts. I just love his music. I pre-ordered it and I can't stand to be within 100 miles of the guy. So take it from me, an unbiased listener of music, an enjoyer of it. BrentollFloss.com. Now Griffin, are you going to sing a song? Fuck that. Should we just play another clip then? Yeah, sure.

I float towards you. It's deep and it's blue. Zink or swim. Baby, don't go lovin' him. Wait for me. I'll come and set you free. But until then, I'll keep on swimming in the sea. I have a good, loyal, kind friend who is tragically incapable of romantic success. He is constantly too drunk lamenting his last rebuke to lay down game on the next potential. You want to try that again? He's too hurt from his last refusal from a girl to flirt with the next girl. Thank you. What are some good wingman moves I can use to get him hooked up so he will be happy and stop complaining. That's from Dating Delegate and Davis.

Can we get rid of the fiction of the wingman? I don't think that it's possible for anybody to get anybody else laid. This is the problem, Griffin. If they don't have the magic inside of them. The wingman is a real position, but we as a society have the wrong concept of it. The wingman, as far as I understand it, wingman is code for I am married but I have a great excuse for flirting with girls. Exactly. Wingman, you are there to be the non-threatening guy who backs up your friend

when he fails. You can't throw an alley-oop to somebody who's taking a nap in the press box. Right. Slam a jamma. You're not going to jam that slam. The ball will fly free. Okay, so let me because I wish that someone had told me this when I was like 23 and thought I was being a good wingman. This is not a good move. Walking up to a girl and saying, listen, my friend over there thinks you're really cute, but he's too nervous to come over and say anything. You should don't do that. Why would you do that?

All it takes, Travis actually did a not bad job of it. I've never told you this before. Oh, thank you. Travis's jam was, it was very similar to have you met Ted on How I Met Your Mother. He would just go up to a girl and just say, hey, this is Griffin, and then ghost. The hard part about meeting people isn't coming up with a clever thing to say. It is coming up with a salutation. That's all you need. And if you do it right, you also provide good conversation material so your buddy can be like, I'm sorry, Travis is an asshole. I am Griffin. You're not only opening the door,

you're also creating something to talk about at first. Yeah, you can found your relationship on your mutual dislike of your brother. That's what I'm saying. I think the important thing about being a wingman is being willing to embarrass yourself so that your friend doesn't have to. Here's my problem with wingman or ladies. I know, see, I think ladies prefer pack hunting. I think pack hunting metaphors are better for the ladies. They seem to travel in packs. So like an alpha and beta. Like an alpha and beta. You got to kill, wait, the werewolf curse won't be lifted unless,

no, here's my problem with the wingman. If I am going to begin a relationship with a new partner, I don't anticipate ever doing this again. But in my young days, when I had to, I can't have my ability to lie stymied by my friend who knows me being around. I'm going to say a lot of things that aren't true or exaggerations of the truth. And I can't have my friend look at me like you're lying. I've got to be on my own. If that person does that, they're a terrible wingman. They call bullshit on you. He's lying.

Justin, why are you compulsively lying to women though? Well, it's not just women. Compulsively, it's not men, women, children. Guys, I don't, I'm not saying like lying like I've got a real hearty penis. No, I'm not. I'm not talking about lying like it's like a can of Sanka down there. He's talking about lying like saying things like, no, I'm not afraid of masks. Yeah, right. They're pretending like I'm not afraid of the robot woman from Superman 3. Should that come up in casual conversations? Oh, you know who I like?

You know what, you know what never scared me? The HBO logo that used to show in front of the movies in the 80s. I never, never really scared me. I used to scare the ever loving shit out of you. It was pretty frightening. No big whoop. I think the answer to your question is your job as wingman to not, it's not a defeat. Like that's the thing. If a girl is like, no, I'm not interested or like,

you know, even in the worst shooting you down, it's not a defeat because you have not lost anything. Like, and so when your friend starts to like, like, fuck it, I'm just going to do like nine shots because she doesn't want to talk to me. Like, you need to be like, Hey, bro, it's not that big a deal. Don't worry about it. That's a bigger problem, I think. Yeah. I also guys, I think the term, the idea, the term, the concept wingman has been

just so steeped in so much bro. I agree. That it's, I don't even think you can like go with the, the, the idea anymore. It's been bro mented. Like, do you know what your only, your only obligation as a wingman is? What? To not make your friend go out to a bar by himself. Like, that's it. Really?

If you do that, you're already like head and shoulders above anyone else. You know my ideal wingman? What? Somebody who will just like buy every other picture and play some darts. Yeah. That's a pretty good wingman to me. Well, no, no ladies tonight, but you threw a real nice 301. So.

Do you want to know who the world's worst wingman is? Who's that? It is my dear friend, Michael Bradbury. Why? Why is he so bad? Because he is the most naturally charming person I have ever met. If you bring a girl within a 15 foot radius of Michael Bradbury, she is lost to you. Yeah.

He can't be too charming. This is my wingman, man, John Stamos. Oh, you're gone. Oh, fine. You're fucking John Stamos in his car. Great. I am the perfect wingman because I'm just charming enough that I don't necessarily come off as a serial killer. This is my dear friend, Michael Fassbender.

He's dark and mysterious at year making out. Maybe you've seen his penis in the movies. He is legally required to take it out during every one. Here's the one thing that I learned you don't want to do as a wingman. If your friend starts doing well with a lady or fella, you don't want to start running around the bar screaming, how am I going to get home? My friend is doing well with a girl.

I don't know how to get home and then flapping your arms. You know, Justin, you pointed out something earlier that it's just clicked to me. That was a great point. Oh, that's rare. What did I do? I know. Women are pack hunters. Yeah.

So your job as wingman is to help your friend not feel like he's singularly approaching a group of women. So you're there with him. You're back up to talk to other people. So you got to tank the other women. Yeah, he's rogue. He goes rogue and you tank. He goes rogue and you're tanking.

Meanwhile, you can find a wizard. The druid is in the corner, healing you. And by all means, when you're talking to this special somebody that you're trying to connect with, make sure you tell him that you're the rogue and your friend is the tank. And he's tanking the mobs that came with it. You're trying to DPS. And if she gets it and laughs, marry her. No, don't.

All right. No way. No, because she is probably being paid to seduce you, sir. She is a spy. She is a spy. You're a dead man. Um, this is also, this is also such a great reminder of it's so hard to meet. Yeah.

People have found real lasting relationship. How do you meet anybody? Anybody. How do you make friends? You know what I'm coming to realize in my life is that it's just like when people try to come up with a formula to help them, you know, figure out the winning lottery numbers or, you know, to figure out what stocks are good. Like there is no formula.

If I just have this wingman and go to this bar and say this line, I'll meet the perfect person and be happy forever. Your best, the best thing that's working in your favor is that everybody is equally desperate. Like I just want a friend. Please, I, please, I need someone. Please. That could be your opening salvo.

Please, please. I'm going to lay it all online. I'm super lonely. Just a warm body to throw darts with. Please. Please just come hang. And this is all, this is all of this question and the answer is all predicated on a fiction that things are a lot more tactical in a bar than they actually are.

Yeah. Really just have enough drinks that you think you're cool. Yep. I'm in dire need of advice on smiling. I simply cannot do it on command for pictures. It's not that I frown. I just end up sarcastically smirking or simply sitting there with my mouth agape. People, especially my mother and girlfriend, detest this shortcoming.

Please help. That's from Expressionless in Pennsylvania. Wow. That's a good one. You know what my jam was? What was it? I just found like a funny face. Like what?

You know, I just pulled that in every picture for like two years. Okay. I did that too. And it's, I don't recommend it. Nobody has taken a good picture of me since 1991 when I was a baby and I got in a basket. And someone took an amazing picture. But that's what, that's the problem, Griffin. You used it all up when you were four that I lost it.

That one could be like a National Geographic like cover of the month. Yeah. Babies and baskets issue. Yeah. Now National Geographic cover of the month, is that a contest they run or I'm not familiar with National Geographic's cover of the month content. I meant cover of the decade or like cover of the century. But I'm pretty sure time frame I pulled out was month.

I'm pretty sure every National Geographic cover is a cover of the month. Yeah. Shut up you guys. When I smile, my teeth do a weird thing where they like shoot in different directions. Like a picket fence that got hit by a tornado. And I get this crease in my forehead that I can't explain. It's a vertical, which is a weird crease. And then like my eyes turn like, I would say like 45 degrees diagonally.

And I look like some sort of horrible ghoul. Griffin's expression in pictures is reminiscent of someone who's incredibly excited to be opening a birthday present. But suspects it may be the severed head of a dead puppy. Like he's starting to think like, wait a minute, what if. It's because you can see behind the eyes. Behind the eyes, there's terror. Like it's halfway between a genuine smile and straight up Godfrey.

Like that's usually where I come in. If I could land on either one of those extremes, then it would be fine. I mean, that's a macro thing. If we smile too big, our eyes just automatically close. I don't know why that is. My wife gets mad at me because I don't look silly in pictures. What has finally started to pull me out of it is when you're taking the picture, try to think about how the fact that you're not dead.

But someday someone might look at this picture and you may be dead. So you want to look happy about it. You want to look happy now. Help cheer them up. You're gone. You're not there to take care of them anymore. So just put a smile on that phrase. You're not frown upside down.

You know what's particularly troubling for me is that I have a couple friends here who have nice cameras and so they take a lot of pictures whenever we have, you know, hang out events and get a lot of candid pictures taken to me. I never just, my rest state is not very happy. I look very, very sad and angry and like lost in thought pretty much like 99% of the time. Is that how people are naturally? Maybe that's how you are naturally. I was going to say, I'm pretty happy.

Like most of the time I'm smiling a lot. I'm happy. My eyes are alive. When we were at PAX East, we were in Boston last month. I ran into John Drake, a friend of ours from Harmonix. He said, I ran into Griffin. I said, yeah. He said, man, that guy is just over it.

What? That's not the vibe I get from Griffin. But I don't know. Griff, maybe you're throwing out that over it vibe. I think it's just that I'm a very, I'm just super intellectual, you know? Yeah. That's that's probably I'm thinking about poetry that I read earlier that day and like what it means to me as a person.

You know, I don't really have time to think about like all the joy that is in life. See, that's why if someone looks at me and they're trying to figure out what I'm thinking, I'm loudly singing the Doug theme song inside of my head. Is that that kind of keeps me smiling? Can someone just like tell me how to be happier? Sing the Doug theme song inside of your head. You're smiling.

I'm smiling, yeah. Oh, I'm just thinking about the Holocaust again. Damn it. How about a yahoo? They usually cheers you up. Okay, I'm not thinking about the Holocaust. How about a yahoo answer? This yahoo answer was sent in by Steve Lewis is by asked by

yahoo answers user Jerry Brewer who asks, How do I get my dogs to romantically eat spaghetti? I have a Cocker Spaniel and some kind of mutt. I have a little table set up in a replica authentic Italian restaurant built in my basement. I have tried everything to get these dogs to eat romantically, but they do the exact opposite. In fact, they just eat it really fast and fight each other for the spaghetti. I don't know what else to do.

I am very serious about this. Please only serious answers. Um, tiger, tiger can't change his stripes. Dogs can't change the way that they'll just eat the, they'll just eat fucking, they'll just eat fucking spaghetti. They'll eat anything you put in front of them. You can't say, hey, slow, slow, slow down. You can't teach a fucking Cocker Spaniel Catillion, you dummy.

Well, not, not easily. Not easily. It takes time. I bet Caesar could do it. Caesar could, your only hope is to find Caesar, the dog whisperer, to come to your house. Yep, yep. And the dog's like, oh, he's right.

He's sitting, sit, shake, salad fort goes on the left. Please put the napkin in your lap. No red wine goes with pasta. Damn it. Coordinated. The problem is, uh, your pasta noodles, they're not long enough. Yeah. That is the, you need one long noodle.

Do you guys want to know God's Honest from watching ladies in the, lady in the tramp? I used to think that spaghetti was made with one big, huge long noodle. Uh, animation has given you that impression for years. How many times have you seen a character put a fork into a big plate of spaghetti and turn it and turn it and turn it and it's all in the fork and oh my God, I've been on accidents for like a week and a half and I'm losing my mind. I have to eat something.

Are you back in, are you back on trying to get that ketosis? God, just, I just really got to get ketosis. I got to get fit. We got Max Funkon coming up June 1st. I'm going to be hobnobbing. I guess I could say hobnobbing with our friends, John Hodren, John Roderick, uh, Chuck Bryant, Sophie Cheneau. I want everybody, the one takeaway I want everybody to have for Max Funkon is,

wow, Justin's got a hard body. Yeah. How was your Max Funkon? It was okay. Justin was looking great. I've never met him before, but I could just tell that his body's gotten significantly harder. I think he's on ketosis. He's inspired me to make another Long Winners album.

I'm really going to finish it now. This one's called Justin's Ass. It's rockin'. Yeah, it's called Rockin' Justin's Ketosis Fine Ass. So anyway, yeah, I just really would like some pasta. I'm literally considering, well, I'm actually going to get some spaghetti squash for lunch. Is that where you take squash and you noodle it down? In the spaghetti?

No, it's like a, it's like a type of squash you cook it in the, in the microwave for like six minutes and then you scrape it with a fork and it's basically, basically like spaghetti noodles. Basically. Wow. That sounds really sad. That sounds like the saddest. It's healthy. You like health?

You want to live forever, don't you? I do. No, I'm never going to die. Oh, youth, I remember that feeling. Pulling around, sex anything that walks, drinking anything that can read. Yeah, well, drink anything that'll melt. I've been there. Eatin' anything that casts a shadow.

Eatin' anything that casts a shadow. I've lived, I've lived that life. Shoot, shootin' up anything that walks. I've been there. We've all toured with the stones. You guys aren't cool. Snortin' anything that'll grind. Ah, god damn it.

What are you going to go with? Puttin' long, cylindrical objects in your, in your ears. Makein', makin' puttin' that to anything that'll congeal. I've been there. Yeah. Experimenting. But. It's the 80s.

Somethin' about, something about your butthole and doing, doing stuff to it. Picking stuff up with your butthole. Yeah. You've been there. I was in Blue Man Group. I know how this, these things go. I know how kids are. Are we just, are we helping this guy with the dogs?

I wasn't paying attention. Uh, yeah. I, I pretty much, I pretty much erased him from my, from the planet with my thoughts as soon as we do. I choose these questions. You'd think he would choose people that he thinks we can help. People who, who we can reach out to. I imagine it would be easier to find people willing to dress up like Lady in the Tramp and Eat Spaghetti for you in your tiny basement Italian restaurant.

Oh man. Than to train dogs to do it. There is only one way that fucking short story ends. And it's with chop, chop, chop, trunk, clothes, room, lake, park, splash. Well, it's, that's the end. That's the full lifetime movie. It's actually book. And all that would be predicated on jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk.

Jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, chop, chop, chop, chop, trunk, drive, jerk, jerk, jerk, a little bit. Splash, jerk, jerk, jerk to fall asleep, get home, clean up the spaghetti lifetime. Jerk it to the lifetime movie. Go to the office the next day. How was your weekend? How was everyone about it? Oh, it was great.

How was your weekend, President Obama? Horrible secret reveal. What a reveal though. This episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me was paid for by the campaign to elect Mitt Romney. President Obama is definitely, definitely a Lady in the Tramp murder fetishist. He's the Lady in the Tramp killer. We caught him. Good job.

Good job, FBI. Nice job. Nice job, Sherlock. Oh, also, Sherlock. How long before presidential campaigns start taking us to the money zone? Would you guys even care, like, who we affiliated ourselves with as long as we got? That's what you say, do I care? Yeah, if we got like a big enough honk of that super pack pie,

Oh, you're saying, I would do Nader. Yeah, in a heartbeat. He's coming back, right? He's coming back. I'll do Gingrich at this point, just because he's adorable. And by do, you're talking about fucking them, right? No, Griffin. I'm doing an ad for a commercial for them.

You haven't looked at Gingrich's chunky dumps and been like, I could. Can we not? I could see myself in that. No way, because I'm planning on having cancer someday and I want somebody who's going to stick by me. That doesn't that doesn't fit the bill with him at all. See, now we'll never get sponsors. Great. Damn it.

Damn it. We're never going to get political ads at this rate. Oh, shit. So, hey, this has been our advice show. My brother, my brother, me. It's modern air and everything. I'm Justin, the oldest one. Whatever.

Travis and I'm the middle. Why are we doing it again? No, we're starting again. I want to do it over. I did it wrong. Thanks to everybody tweeting about the show. We want to welcome our new Tony award-winning fan, Lynn Manuel Miranda. It's super good to have you on board.

Thanks to everybody else tweeting about the show. If you get a Tony, let us know. We'll say your name on the show. That is the new barrier for entry. We hit 100 and we just raised the stakes. Rod as I roar. R.D. Awesome. Our dear, dear friend Eric Nier.

Sean Fish. I almost said Travis McElroy. Yay. Hooray for me. Incredible K. Joseph Bloomberg. Thrashworth. Ross Butler.

Everybody. Flamedrakes. We super appreciate everybody tweeting about the show and helping us to spread the word. You're the only reason that we are still doing this and the fact that we like to talk to each other. But other than those two things, that's the only reason. So thank you for spreading it. If you get a second this week, tweet about the show with the nbnbm hashtag and make sure to include that bit.ly forward slash it's mabimbam.

That's our sampler. And it's a fun way to get people in the program. Or just tell a friend about it in the meat space. Yeah, tell a real world friend if you can still have those. Just hand them a CD and say you're welcome. And then make them listen to the podcast. I want to thank everybody who gave us well wishes on our 100th episode. That meant a lot to me.

I also want to thank John Roderick in the Long Winters for the use of our theme song. It's a departure off their album Putting the Days to Bed. It's a super good album and that song is on it. And it's a super good song. So go purchase that on Amazon MP3 and iTunes and vinyl. And I want to thank Brentalfaust for sponsoring this week's episode. Make sure to go to Brentalfaust.com and pre-order the CD. Pre-order ends on April 26th.

So hurry up. Griffin, bring us home. This final Yahoo answer was sent in by Mike Sherwin. Thank you, Mike. It's by Yahoo Answers user MrDang who asks, How long have you had a crush on Gary Busey? I'm Justin McAvoy. I'm Travis McAvoy.

I'm Griffin McAvoy. This is me, my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad. School where I'm a lips. Keep your heart, three stacks. Keep your heart. Hey, keep your heart, three stacks. Keep your heart.

Man, these girls are smart, three stacks. These girls are smart. Play your part.