My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 112: The Channing Switcheroo

Episode Date: July 16, 2012

For this week's episode, we suggest gathering all your loved ones in a room, and then running away from and locking that room, and then listening to the episode as far away from them as you can possibly get. Suggested talking points: Thmoreth, Tom Jones Humblebrag, Grad Rags, Costco Actor, Snorks v. Dance Crews, Magic Mike Abridged

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello and welcome to my brother, my brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your baby brother, Griffin. We're live here from the show floor of San Diego Comic-Con, where we have just witnessed the reveal of Thor 2, Hammer of Thor. Travis, what was your takeaway?

The floor is a buzz, Justin. The floor is on Thor. I tell you what, we can't stop talking about it over here in the booth. Now, is it true that they, Griffin, is it true they started taking, to call it the show floor, the show Thor, just because that's how ever present Thor fever is at the San Diego Comic-Con? Mjolnir, I don't even know her. Good one, Griffin. Good one. Jokes like this are some of the many jokes that you'll hear. Thor related, Thor centric, everyone is talking about Thor. Over here at the Stanley booth, he's already talking about his cameo appearance as that guy who turns around and says one sentence. Travis, you watched 30 to 40 seconds of teaser footage. What were some of the big takeaways that you noticed? There was hammering,

there was some lightning. He looked dreamy. There was a swirling cloud. I think of something, I wasn't really paying attention. I thought it would be longer. I looked away to get some popcorn. When I came back, it was over. I read on CoolThorBlog.com that Loki's up to his old tricks. Confirmed or denied? Oh, no way. He was there, but I could not tell of what quality his tricks were. Tell me about SkrullX. SkrullX was awesome. Sorry. SkrullX. SkrullX, is that a Skrull DJ? He's a monster. He's a monster in the new Thor movie. Thor 2 Hammer of Thor, out summer 2013. I'm excited. Griffin, Thor 2 Hammer of Thor, out summer 2013. Is it true that they've taken to cooking s'mores there at the show floor and calling them Thor's? They've called them

s'mores. They call them s'mores. They call the treats s'mores, Justin. And they all have Swedish ingredients. It's very embarrassing for them. All the Revengers are here. They're all cooking up. Fresh s'mores. There's Metal Man. The thulk. The thulk is there. The thulk is there, right here. There's Neat Man and Metal Man and Kit Girl. Captain USA is there. Fresh off his new movie, Success. Andrew Garfield is on the show floor in costume as the flipster. He's flipping around, webbing any size of Thor. And all this is going on at Santa Clara Comic-Con, and we are live on the show floor of it. On the quietest corner that we could find. We managed to hide inside a burrito booth.

Can we give some advice now? Yep. Don't go to Santa Clara Comic-Con. Everything I hear about Santa Clara Comic-Con makes it look like nightmare. You know what? You say that till I see pictures of people hanging out with the Mythbusters and hanging out with Mark Hamill. Mostly, that's just Chuck Bryant. Our dear friend Chuck Bryant did post a picture of himself hanging out with John Noble of Fringe fame. From what I can tell, Chuck Bryant just has the best life. He's living every person's dream. He's living like he was dying. He's getting it. He's getting it, 20 does. Let's get some advice. Let's advice it. Let's advice around. Last August. My girlfriend of 7 years dumped me. The worst part is that she was my concert going buddy,

and all my friends are too busy or money conscious to go to shows with me. I haven't lost my luster for live music and would still like to go to shows when I can without relying on having company. Problem is, I don't want to be the creepy dude at the Dave Matthews Band Show standing by myself. Is it okay to go to concerts alone? If it is, what can I do to feel like less of a creeper? And that's from a real indie rocker in Indiana. Well, let me just clear this off right off the bat. You are not the creepiest dude at the Dave Matthews concert. Oh man, there are going to be people who are way, way creepier than you. There are people in the band that are creepier than you. Look to your left. Look to your right. One of these people smells like Cheetos. Both of them

have devil sticks. Both of them are operating devil sticks. Yeah, you have no worries the Dave Matthews Band Show. In fact, there are probably concerts that are that you're going to fit in better because there's more of a communal vibe, right? You go to a Dave Matthews Band Show, a reunited fish show, perhaps a wavy, gravy tribute. Maybe go to Modest Yahoo and see what he's, see what his thing is. Is he still on the set? Oh, he's still getting. He just had another big hit. Did another big hit. It is Modest Yahoo, right? It is Modest Yahoo. Humble Yahoo. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that I think that those sorts of communal concerts would probably be a better fit if you want to go by yourself. I mean, I can I be honest with you guys? Yeah, I am a person in

general. I just don't get concerts. Like as as there are special occasion concerts, there's stuff like the concert we went to with Regina Spector and they might be giants. Yeah, that was great. Mike Dodie in concert. Like that was incredible. We saw, you and me saw a show with Amos Lee, Costello and Dylan. That was great. Yeah, but like that's a big special event. I saw Pavement before they really got big. Yeah, me too. Let me think. That was like 92. Right. I saw a show with Electric Six and Junior Senior. It was the most amazing show I've ever been to. So you do like concerts. But no, but the idea of like sitting there around a weekend and be like, do you guys want to go see a concert tonight and like finding, you know,

searching one out and purposefully going? It's usually like some big, I would say in my life, I've maybe gone to 20 concerts in my 28 years. That's the big appeal of festivals to me. And I would definitely go to those alone because then you don't have, you don't like if you want to leave a show 20 minutes in, you're not going to have any baggage there. You know, if you want to go to the bathroom twice during the modest Yahoo concert, there's not going to be a friend there who's like, fucking really, dog? Really, man? We've been here for 30 minutes. What have you been eating? That's really my big concern is standing in a hot room with a lot of people. Sometimes you got to take a break. Sometimes you got to dip out.

Can I make you call the arms of all the people that go to concerts and listen to our show? If there are seats available, if it's like a stadium or they're seating, don't stand up. Why are you standing up? You can enjoy it sitting down, sitting down is so wonderful. No, you can't tell people that. Wait a minute. No, wait a minute. What are you saying, Travis? I'm saying that I hate standing up. There are seats there. I want to stay seated, but when everyone stands up in front of me and I can't see Harry Connick Jr. singing his heart out, like, what the fuck? Waving his web, weaving his tapestry of narrative and melody. And he's doing a medley of Christmas songs and doing a trombone solo and doing it right,

if you know what I mean. And I can't see it because everybody's on their feet. Let me pitch this to you, Travis. You're at the sold-out stadium Delamitri concert, right? And he's laying down the would-be singles. He's laying down some tracks. Delamitri is. It is one man, Del. It's a man's name. And so Del is up there. He's doing this thing. And all of a sudden, you hear the telltale, roll-to-me intro, plucking this. Oh, roll-to-me's kicking in? Yeah, everyone's been sitting this whole time. You're telling me that you can resist that. You're telling me you can keep your ass in the seat. I think there should be an immediate wave of people standing up like, I recognize this song.

And then 20 seconds later, just a synchronized sitting back down. I think Spikes should shoot out of the seat when roll-to-me comes on. Because if you're sitting down in that song, bad news, you're fucking dead. Poison seats. This shouldn't matter because you're a corpse. Yeah. Your heart's not beating. It's not pumping blood. Okay, so how about in the circumstance that you're at the Delamitri concert and only then are you allowed to stand? You should always, like, I don't care if you want to sit and I don't care if you want to stand. What I care about is if I'm standing because I have rented this square for the evening. This is my real estate for the evening. If I want to stand and you want to be a grumpster because

you're a lazybones, that's where I run into issues. I feel like you're talking directly to me. Yeah, apparently. I didn't know you had such bad taste in manners. We went and saw Foreigner, which was awesome, and Journey, which was awesome. Let's all list every single concert that we've gone to because it's charming and it's good radio. The first concert that I ever went to, I went with Justin when I think I was 15 and he was 18, and we went and saw Tom Jones. That was great. That was a great show. So is there more to that story or just? No, it starts there. You just wanted to sort of, I guess, brag? Does that kind of bragging when you say I went to a Tom Jones concert? With my brother? Guys, guess what? Check

this out. I clipped my toenails yesterday. I don't want to brag, but... Hey guys, check this out. Check this story. I thought that it was time to change my oil, but I got another 500 miles. Not a problem. I don't want to worry about it right now. There are people out there that are real jealous of me right now. It can be a real bummer summer, though, when you're trying to get enthused about a concert. It's a big problem at festivals. We went to Bonnaroo one year, so they have all these different shows at the stage, one right after the other, and so everybody went and camped out for Radiohead. But Elvis Costello was playing two shows before Radiohead, and all these hipsters were laying down and saving up their dance juice from when Rajiohead was on.

And it was me and two 50-year-olds, the only one standing for this Elvis Costello show, trying to groove because he had... Who was the... Toussaint? What's this? Alan Toussaint. Alan Toussaint up there. We were trying to groove to the New Orleans sound. And all these hipsters were sleeping. Did you have a moment of recognition with the other 50-year-olds, though? Did they see you and feel... Yeah, we had to. And we were actively dancing on the hipsters. If you can make it over our way, we've got some balls of pino grease, some rock shrimp, deveined and shit if you want to come over and hang. Stand near us. We'll pop up and put another ball of this pino grease. I think you got to... I think you just got to go with the consensus.

If everybody's standing, you got to stand. If everyone's sitting. Was that the question? I can't remember the original question. Can you go to Constance by yourself? I say yes, because it makes it inherently a stress-free experience. Now, if you're going to a Skrillex, if you're going to a Skrillex concert, or if you're going to like a girl talk and there's going to be dancing and gyration and movement, why not take a few friends, rub up, find out. What's underneath? What's underneath those Tommy H's? Let me check it. What would this feel like? Hey, Jenny, we've never talked about it. Let our bodies do the talking. Just let the dubstack take you. How about we jump to a Yahoo answer?

This Yahoo answer was sent in by Kate Stull. Thank you, Kate. It's by Yahoo answers user Humpfrey, who asks, will I ever need to wear my cap and gown again? I just graduated this year. What to do with the robe and cap? I was wondering if I would ever have an occasion to wear it again, so that I should spend $35 on dry cleaning. It's not cheap to dry clean the stupid robe. My college regalia colors are different from my high school regalia colors, and I doubt that I could wear it to my college graduation ceremony. I was wondering if any of the following events would require a cap and gown, or even permit me to wear one. And what would I wear to these different events? I will probably be attending this coming year. Am I clueless? And then there's

some events. Thesis presentation and defense. I do not know what that is. I would wear, sounds like a power play, though, to wear a cap and gown. Formal academic award ceremony. Just the cap. And nothing else? Nothing else. Now that's a brave look. Tell me about that. What it says is that I graduated from the University of Buckingham. Can I put, what about, what about just robe? I got my magna come loud. What about just, just robe, cinched, cinched, cinched, rolled up sleeves to the shoulder. So you're showing the guns. I like to see some black jeans underneath the robe. That's a really cool look. If you can get that one going.

Hem it up, hem it up, cinch it with a belt, hem it, black jeans. And that now. No shirt. No shirt. You got a tunic, basically, or a blouse. Yeah, I'd have it open to the navel. Fraternity party. Yes. It depends on the theme, right? But if you do it, you have to wear it to every fraternity party so people start to know you as the Robester. Oh, that's nice. Robespierre. Robespierre is here. Could you be Professor Beer Hands? And you would also, your hands would need to be made of beer. Have you guys ever heard of Edward 40 Hands? Yes, I've heard of Edward 40 Hands.

Please, Professor Beer Hands is my father. Call me Edward. I feel like Professor Beer Hands was invented right after I got out of college, which is a shame because it seems like the kind of problem solving I could really get into. I have to tell you, it sounds like hipster legend. I don't believe anybody actually does Edward 40 Hands. Can you imagine doing Edward 40 Hands and then like you get a phone call? Yeah. Like there's a knock on the door. Or how about you've just consumed 80 ounces of liquid and you need to pass it through your body via penis or vagina. What's the next step there? Tell me where that terminates.

You just start smacking at your zipper, I assume. Yeah, and then hope that luck comes into play. Yeah. Dorm formal. Is that like a sex thing? Mm-hmm. First off, I hate to see a good Portmanteau go by. It's your Dormal. I think that is what you should call it. Secondly, how, I mean, that's pretty formal. That's a formal look. It makes you look like an educated sorcerer. And I don't think there's anything more formal than that. Hem up the bottom of the robe about six inches, right? Okay. And then dress shoes, no socks. Army guys can wear their army clothes, army guy clothes to fancy occasions and graduating from schools like graduating from the University of the Army, you know, the Army. These are my brain

fatigues. Thank you. Yeah. I did a tour of smart duty and I think you should be able to like let people know that you graduated. Nash. I think it sounds like what we're deciding is every occasion is a robe. Yeah, we're batting a thousand right now. How about job interview? Yes. If you're interviewing for a sorcerer, yes. I mean, again, it's a power play because it's like, you don't need to look at my diploma. You don't need to look at my resume. Look at this robe. Oh, and it's also an intimidation play because if you think about it, all the other people in the waiting room are about to go in for the interview. They look around and they're like, oh, that guy's way more educated than I am. Yeah. Oh, God. He wears his brain on his sleeve. Were we supposed

to wear a robes? I had no idea. Go home and get mine. Can you wear over the robe a Boy Scout vest with all your badges on it and maybe like a miss whatever your state is, even if you're a man. I'm saying you should deck yourself with as many status claiming clothing items as you can possibly get your hands on. I'm like a bandolero with like all of your baseball trophies in it. Yeah. Now you're going to have to tell me what that is. You know, like a gun, like a bullet belt. That's called a bandolero, you say. I believe so. It's a bandolier. Bandolarista. It's a bourbillon. Should I bring my gold medals? Gold medals would be great. A tiara. Maybe those special contacts you got in high school that make your eyeballs look like money signs. That necklace that

says I'm number one. Such a great investment. I didn't think it was going to pay out. I didn't know if I was going to get enough use out of my money sign contacts, but I really did. Because at first you got them for that gag when someone was like, we're going to get paid and you could go kaching and look at them. But it has so many more uses. Not really. It has about as many uses as your graduation robe. Because I have mine from, I guess it's from Marshall. I just don't, I have it, it's in my closet and I keep it and I don't know why because it's not very comfortable. Graduation robes have one use. You hang them on the back of your closet door and then you get really stoned and then you trick yourself into thinking Dracula's in your closet. That's it. That's a

good one. Or if your plan is exploding, you can wrap your baby in one when you're shooting it off. That's another thing. That's another thing they're going for. But that's the only two things. Martha? Martha seems to be a baby in this crater and he seems to have graduated from the University of Oklahoma. Martha, maybe it's just me, but does this baby look fucking smart or what? Shit. He's gnawing on that cord. It must have essential nutrients in it. Guy's smart. Just throw him away. I want to see pictures. I want to see pictures of every listener of this show and I want to see beers. I want to see beers taped to your hands. I want to see putting your robe in the garbage. Open up there. With your beer 40 hands trying to maneuver into

the garbage. That way they'll have one more use. They'll help you win our love. So there you got and also to stop up all of the beer that you've spilled by trying to do something with beer. Hey brothers. I've got a problem. I want to be an actor and I know it's a very difficult route to take, but an opportunity has come up that's just too good to pass up. I recently started a job though to make some money and my parents are very against me losing the state job, which I might have to lose to take the acting job. How I let them know my priorities differ from theirs on this one. That's from Sam. It's easy. You don't tell them. Yeah, they'll never know. Wait, what? There's a ton of stories. There's a ton of stories of celebrities and comedians who tell the story of like, well,

for a long time my mom thought that I was still in law school or they had no idea that I was doing stand-up comedy at night. Like, it's the thing to do, man. Like, don't tell them until you're successful or until you've got a solid contract and then say, oh, or I'm making money doing. Yeah, because that's, uh, what is the, see, you took that road. So that's what's the net? What's the like average like 99% of the time it's you end up on Saturday night life. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The problem is you can't, you would be able to answer this question really easily if you could see the perspective in which these events will be viewed. If you bet big and this turn, and it turns out you're a success, none of this will matter. In fact, it will sweeten your story of success and

sacrifice. If you don't make it, then this is just a depiction of how low you sank. Yeah. And you've got to remember that your parents are looking at this from the outside in, and so they're not looking at all of your potential and like your confidence in this. They're looking at it from the perspective of people that love you and fear for your well-being, and they're going, that's a pretty big risk. Yeah. When they talk to Grandma Judy this year for their one, one time a year, Grandma Judith check-in, this is the thing that they're going to talk about. This is it. Do you think Grandma Judith is like an actual biological grandmother or like an old friend of the family? I think she's just an old lady who walks around the

neighborhood in her graduation robe from 1938. She seems wise. Check it. Our son is so dumb. What's he doing? He had a great job at the Costco. I think if you want to, if you want to broach this topic in a way that's going to be palatable to your parents, what you need to have is a, I'm sure that you are confident of your ability to continue to sustain yourself without the day job or else you wouldn't, you know, this wouldn't be a problem. You need to talk to your parents about how you're going to continue to be a sustainable person without the job. Because if you knew that, if you can convince them of why, you know, why you'll be able to continue to take care of yourself, they won't care. It's not like they love the fact that you work at Einstein,

Brother's bagel bakery so much. They just want you. Maybe they do. Maybe they get a discount on the bagels. Maybe they do get a discount on the bagels in which case I can't help you, but you know, all your parents want is to know that you're going to be safe and secure. So if you can convince them of that, they won't really give a crap if you want to have a day job. Maybe, and you might be able to explain it to them from the point of view of like, you get a J job to support yourself to do the thing that you want to do. Like, you know, so if you have to turn down acting jobs to keep your day job, it kind of defeats the purpose of having the day job. Um, I think you should sit your parents down and then, uh, like act act in front of them.

Oh, just like do some acting in front of them. To like say, I like, I understand that you do not want me to leave my, uh, assistant manager position at the, at the fashion bug, but, uh, would it, would it change things if I was and then your parents are like visibly, like they're like, they're like J all slackens a bit. And it's like, Oh my God. Oh my God. It's like Lancelot is here with me. It's just never, I've just never seen it in contact. Did you hear what he did with his voice? Where did our son go? Fuck. I know you want me to keep working a day job, but how can I continue to work? Why should I continue to have a day job when I'm Hamlet the prince of Denmark? Yeah.

It doesn't make any sense for me to make bagels. My mind prepare. I have a date. I am a prince. I'm a Danish prince. Bagels haven't been invented yet. This is a Danish voice. Who have I heard of Moli air working at McDonald's? Probably a lot of people. Oh yeah, probably would have. It probably definitely would have. Uh, I, I hope that helps. Or you know what? You want some advice from your old buddy, J-man? Just keep that day job, climb that ladder. No, don't listen to J-man. J-man, J-man is wrong. J-man wants everybody to just earn a living and build a society with me. How about that? How about everybody? Here's my dream. We're all in a society together and we all have jobs. How's that? How's

that? Hey, you know what? We're all paying our own way. You should quit your day job. You should pick up a newspaper. There's jobs everywhere. People are crazy with jobs. There's job fever. They can't find enough people to fill all these great, great jobs they have. So by all means, quit your day job. I'm sure you'll find another one. You're going to be, you're going to be 23 forever. Don't listen to your parents. You'll be 23 forever. Oh, man. Come on. Build this with me. I know it's not fun being a cog. Come on. Come on. You gotta be a cog to support, you know, the bigger cogs that are on top of you, crushing you. All that we're saying is that material is broke and it is fucking wicked expensive to fix it. Supply and demand more

toilet engineers equals cheaper toilet maintenance for myself and my man. Nobody. Competition brings down rates. Yeah. I had a discussion last night with a, with a young man who was carving a pig. The pig's name was Brian and this young man carving it out of what? What was the man's name? I do. I did. I swear to God, I do not learn that man's name. The pig's name was Christ. Is it possible? Did he take his name tag off and put it on the pig as a goof possibly? No. Was the pig talkative? No. The pig was dead. Oh, what? And he told me that I said, where is the best, most delicious meat on Brian? And he said, Brian's most delicious feature are his cheeks. People, but they don't sell pig cheeks because that doesn't make any sense.

You know, you have one pig, two cheeks. You can't really box that. The economics of that don't scale. And I said, well, why don't you shave me off what a Brian's cheeks and I'll just eat it now before the bride and groom get to tuck into this piggy pig pig because they won't, they won't, they won't know that the cheeks are the best. They'll mix the cheek meat in with the rump and then they'll eat it and be like, oh, it was good rump. And you're like, you dumb assholes. You just wasted two sweet cheeks on rump. So I walked away eating a cheek and thinking how nice it was to have a conversation with a person that knows anything that you didn't bother to learn his name. He seemed nice. I did not pick up his name, but it was so nice to talk to someone

who actually knew about anything in this digital era. Pretty much nobody knows anything. It is so refreshing to talk to someone who has a skill, a some sort of skill that actually has some value, especially not like acting, which is bullshit. Right. Like learn a trade skill. Those people are the real artists yourself to someone like a metallurgist or don't do that. I read Johnny Tremaine. I know how that shakes out. Don't do that. But please just learn a skill. Get in the machine with me. Please. Let's just get this, just let's get this old fucking, this old I still think that maybe I'm alone. I still think there's some kick and some get up and go left in this beautiful old machine named America. Yeah. So why don't you get in here with me?

Let's rub this engine, kick the tires and see if we can't still put some miles between us and the Ruskies, you know, because actors are like the fuzzy dice of America. Yeah, I love this. Yeah, exactly. Please keep chasing this metaphor. I'm just saying actors are the fuzzy dice and like the assistant manager at Unscience Bagel is like the gasoline. You're the gasoline that keeps it going. I think you know about things like bagels. The produce guy at IGA is like the side view mirrors, right? Basically, yes. Take your shot at acting. Here's your course. Take your shot at acting. And even if you miss, you won't land in the stars. You will land back at home unemployed. But then what you do, fire up the Tivo, load up an episode of Dirty Jobs, and just

you know, throw a dart at the TV and then your TV is going to break the screen and then decide that you're going to be a TV repairman. Precisely. Real quick before your parents get home. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Phoenix online. Help me. Any of you learned it? I need a two and a half hour degree. Fuck. They're going to only have learned a skill. I'm so busted. Guys, this week on IFC, it's Comedy Bang Bang. It's an absurd half hour comedy show that only looks like a talk show. It's Comedy So Nice. They banged it twice with your host Scott Ackerman, a band led by Reggie Watts, and amazing guests, people like Amy Poehler, Zach Galifianakis, and Seth Rogen. This week, it's Ed Helms, who shows off his banjo and animal noise making skills.

That's this Friday. Check it out. Hey, I want to tell you about Squarespace. It's where you can go to create your own website or blog in just minutes. It's easy to use. They've got these beautiful templates, and there's a support team there, 24-7 online workshops. Again, someone with a skill, making the machine run. They got free domains when you sign up for one year. So go to Squarespace.com, and our listeners will get 10% off by using offer code MyBrother7. That's MySpaceBrotherspace7, the number seven. So use that code and go build something for yourself. How about a Yahoo answer? Yeah, I'm ready. Oh, shit. This one was sent by Lisa Holofield. Thank you, Lisa. It's by Yahoo Answers user MintyFresh, who asks, what are some good dance crew names?

I'm putting together a dance crew, and previously our name would have been SnickSnacks with Xs. There were some issues with using that name as we wanted male dancers to, but the name was appealing to them. So the members that I have now wish to change it to a badass name. Does anyone have any ideas? We might use the name, and we might change some things in it to make it more suitable for the look of the group. Thank you, smiley face. First of all, I want to address that. What is there inherently about SnickSnacks that implies anything one way or the other? I think SnickSnacks would be a good name for a plump, centric dancing crew. Those have to exist, right? You would think? Like a dancing crew that is mostly comprised.

I'm just saying that heavy people like snacks, I guess. Basically, in short, heavy people like snacks. Can I revise the goof? Can we looper it, please? Allowed. What if it is just composed of Clarissa from Clarissa Explains It All, and Keenan and also Cal, and all that crew. Hey, do you guys remember Snick? Okay, wait. Hold on. Let's operate on the preface that you remember Snick. I'm going to looper it again. Back up. Hey, do you guys remember Snick? It was this great programming block on the Nickelodeon channel. It came on Saturday nights. It stood for Saturday nights in c... c... c***s. No? No? Kids. Saturday night, Nick. It's Snick. Saturday night, Nick Snick. Snick. You sure it c***s wasn't a factor. I am 150,000th percent sure. It's been

20 seconds and I can't think of another word that starts with C. TV used to be so much more edgy. Um, you want some all that? You little c***. So anyway, uh, so this joke, it involves, uh, characters from the SNCC lineup. Fuck it. Oh, I see. Let's just go.

Let's just go. I'm trying to think of some kind of badass name that contains the word steppin' with an apostrophe. Steppin' wolves? I think that's Taya. Yeah, I guess. Not the plural, though. Travis. Uh-huh.

Uh, I've created a game to help us answer this question and get our brains working. Uh, I'm going to ask you, give you a series of different names. For each name, I need you to tell me if it's, uh, uh, one of the teams that competed on America's Best Dance Crew or one of the Snorks. Now, if I make it 80s cartoon series, the Snorks. No, you, I am, I feel like I need to sit this out because I've actually watched a couple of seasons of that. And I know how, I know how crazy town this shit can get.

I've never watched it. Let's do this. All right. Travis. Are you ready? Yes. Small star. Snork.

Correct. It's a yellow-skinned female infant Snork. Uh, blueprint crew. Uh, dance team. Correct. Uh, hype 5-0. Is it a Snork? Incorrect.

That's a dance crew. Uh, vogue evolution. Now, stop. Okay. You expected there to be much more cross. I thought there would be much more. Anti-Marina. Oh, I'm going to go with Snork?

Correct. Static noise in a YZE. And definitely a Snork. Guys, I'm going to tell you a name. I'm going to tell you a name. And I want you to tell me if it's a former U.S. president or a member of the Parliament Funkadelic. Begin.

Okay. I'm going to tell you, I'm going to say a word. And I want you to tell me if it is a fruit or not a fruit. Here we go. Ass fault. Travis, let me hit you with this iconic boys with a Z. Is that a dance team? Correct.

Eclectic gentleman. I want it to be a Snork. I know. I want it to be a Snork too. Uh, is it Enigma Dance Crew KRU? I mean, obviously that's a dance crew. I'm just trying to decide if that's the full name of it. Dance Crew KRU.

Uh, I can't help you any more than I already have, Travis. I'm so sorry. I'm going to go with Snork. Just trust my god on this one. That's it. A big shame is, Travis, what about Jabbawocky? I know that that's a dance team because they do the scary neutral masks. See, if they didn't have that.

If they didn't have that fame. They're soulless. That is the only possible Snork crossover I could think of. Okay, Travis, one more for you. Gary Diperman Shiter. Dance Crew. Unfortunately, Gary Diperman Shiter was a member of Parliament. So that, that was cheating on that.

Travis, grapes, go. Be good. It's a free. Uh, Yahoo Answers user Izzy dropped some, some suggestions in, in the Yahoo Answers. Uh, Izzy suggested, uh, Maniacs, uh, Barb. With an X? Uh, no, unfortunately. Barbara Ains with a Z and also misspelled.

Possibly Barbara Brains, which is cool. Um, Barbara Brains. Fusion. Inbeat aerodynamics with a Z. Uh, there's also ferocity 911, which I actually do like that a lot. Hannah Barbera. Snork. Hannah Barberian.

Man. Hey. Hey, roll over to every girls. Hannah Barberian would be a pretty good, uh, be pretty good name. Um, what about Snorks with an X? I feel like. Oh my God, that would be a good dance crew. And then you could just come up with other variations on like little, little star, but

you work the word like, um, uh, like high jump into that. Cause that's, that's like an integral move. You guys would not believe some of the things that Snorks are doing with bubbles. The climb into a bubble. They're in a bubble. Um, do you guys ever think about what it would be like to be a part of a dance crew? I can't imagine any, uh, any other like union, like any level of unity that I could feel with a person more than.

I feel like. More than a dance crew? Yeah. I feel like my problem would be that I would constantly get momentary groove impulses and I, my body would tell me to follow a groove. Yeah. You're a loose cannon, McRoy. I know.

Yeah, exactly. You've got no place on the Snorks revolution. I need your dance badge on my desk by three o'clock. You would be the, you would be the turbo of the, of the community. I can't go back to the dance mayor one more time and explain to him why you love him. The dance commissioner's on my ass, McRoy. I'm getting too old for this shit literally cause my old bones won't do the flips. I'm tired of answering for your groove shenanigans, groove nanigans.

Maybe you should try putting moves together instead of busting them constantly. You cost $20 a damage to the dance floor yesterday with your groove. You set it on fire literally. Now I gotta, I know that the chief of dance commissioning is on my, on my case. You're a showboat, McRoy, and you got us fired from working at the showboat. This is your new partner, a drum machine. Let's kick it. He's an actual dance robot.

He's a dance robot. You're being replaced. This is, this is your new partner, Skrillex. And this is Blader on the dance movie. Two weeks later, you'll never believe it. The dance robot, he's turned. We need you back. There's one man for this job.

No, I swore. I swore I would never dance again. No, Paul, don't do it. You said we're going to build a life together. He said you would never dance again. Don't you understand, Tammy? If I don't go back and defeat that dance robot in a dance battle, who will? Get ready to smell the funk.

I will kill you like I did your partner. I have captured the dance mayor. I'm going to dance your daughter to death. No! No human is brave enough to dance against me. Oh, yeah. Me and inspiration with three Zs. I have something to say about that.

Let's go, team. I'm back. You get him, dance carl. Get him. Really, Travis? What? What's wrong with dance carl? I'm literally googling dance crews right now to find a name to say.

Oh, fuck. Dance carl with an X. Oh, shit. That is pretty edgy. Hey, I got a question here. I don't know if I often go to movies because I find the unpleasantness surrounding the screen outweighs the thrill of seeing what is essentially a really big TV. In the case of a person making an unreasonable amount of noise, what is the proper etiquette?

The scolding me wants to shush them like an 80-year-old librarian, but I don't want to be an even bigger asshole than the noisemaker. What would you do that's from incensed in Indiana? If I've learned anything from Dad, the proper response is you turn around and you make your eyes really big and angry and you kind of push your lips together and you just stare at them really hard for like 30 seconds and then you turn back around without actually doing anything. I think that's move one.

And then move two is you say to them, hey, can you keep it down or try to watch a movie? If that's not enough, if that doesn't work, then you go, then I say go to the usher. Nobody wants to be a killjoy like that, but I think that it's the only option left. I think you guys are escalating it a little bit too slow. I think you got to shock and awe. Just like turn around, no warning. Just yell like shut it! Like that in that voice.

Oh boy. Making direct eye contact with them. Do you think dump a buck up popcorn on their heads? I think dunk a bup-a-dup. I think dunk a bup-a-dup of love. I think dunk a bup-a-dup. I think dunk a bup-a-dup of lava. Just dunk one bup-a-dup.

Dump a bup-a-dup of lava on their face. Dump a bup-a-dup. Get a bup-a-dup. Full it with lava. Do I get a discount for buying one cargen of soda and a bup-a-dup of popcorn? If I buy both the cargen and the bup-a-dup together. Can I get just like a Borks of Junior Memphis? Get some bummy-wurps and a bup-a-dup of sweet-nuttered popcorn.

Can I get one of those hot purzels with a little bit of that chose all over it? Thanks. Do you have the Nietzsche chose? I prefer sort of a Moxican Flavor to that. You got the hot dogs. I love hot dogs. I have all of the aphages. But you're right, Griffin, in that you really shouldn't ever have to.

We should all know how to behave. It's not like they have encroached unknowingly on your auditory personal space. There's no way that you missed that lesson going up. Hey, don't talk to people watching movies. Right. I mean, it's 101. Can you just quietly lift your middle finger in the air and leave it there for the remainder of the film? Like without turning around?

Don't turn around. Yeah, yeah, because you're watching the fucking movie. Don't let them distract from two of your senses. Just stick your middle finger in the air and let them know. Because what are they going to do then? What are they going to do then? Oh, and maybe you've drawn a little man on your finger shushing them. That doesn't make any sense.

I think that after five seconds, he's like, hey, whatever, man. And then after like five minutes, he's like, okay, man. And then like an hour into it, he's like, I don't know. What do I do? He seems angry still. You know what I hate? I hate when I'm at a movie theater and I just want to stand up and enjoy myself. There's always one guy.

I just want to dance. There's one guy behind me. The groove is overtaking me. I just want to dance in the aisles. Yeah, I just want to stand up and just enjoy the movie. There's always some jerk. I just want Harry Connick to know that I'm really enjoying the show. Yeah.

Yeah. Even when he's not there. If I want to masturbate during the Katy Perry film. You should be able to. Oh, there's a hilarious. If you guys get a chance, check it out on YouTube. It was on the Max Fun home page. So go check it out.

Jordan Morris wrote a parody video of an advertisement for Katy Perry for dads. Yeah. And Jesse Thorne, yeah, narrated it. It's good stuff. It's on Funny or Die, I believe. Hey, serious answer to that question. Just moved to Austin. Our theaters, if you talk here, they shoot you.

Yeah, dude. We went to the Alamo Draft House. It was amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody just so, it's so scared. I've never been so terrified. I don't actually can feel before.

They play scary music and they put up words on the screen. They say, they'll fucking kill you. They'll fucking kill you. I saw it once. I thought the scene, the scene they show from the Schindler's List was a little unnecessary, but I certainly think it's the point across. Yeah. I saw them kill a kid.

Yeah. That was pretty hard. It was like that scene from Reservoir Dogs. Here's the worst part. It was during a Dora the Explorer short at the beginning, and she was asking for feedback. Yeah. I mean, she was begging them to say, where is, where is Steeler? Yeah.

What is this? It's a backpack. Oh, fuck. Sorry, Swiper. Fuck. Fuck. Hey. Hey.

Fuck. Hey. Guys. Guys, if we can at least be factually correct about Dora the Explorer, then what the fuck are we doing here? If you want to keep us from swiping things, then you're going to need to follow us. What is that? Who's this message from? It's from Jasmine.

Who's this message from? It's from Matt. Happy birthday, Jasmine. I got you this jumbo tron, because I know how much you love those McRoy brothers. Almost as much as you love cooking bacon, candy, delicious things, beating me and matching the gathering, playing Guild Wars, and watching documentaries about our bears. That's the best life ever. That's such a good life.

You've done it. I think you're the coolest and love you like crazy. That's from Matt. He put it with three T's both times. So I'm thinking that is how he actually spells it. Maybe it's pronounced like Matata. Matata. His name is a drum roll.

Matata was my favorite Pokemon. Matt. Matt. Hey, Matt. Matt. Yes. You're right. You're right.

Yes. Can I help you? This message is from Jillian. It's from Seth, who says, congrats on getting through your surgery. You got through the tough part. Now just take it easy. It might be hard right now, but if it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes you great.

Just keep calm and stay strong. Best foot. Isn't that sweet? Proud of you, Jill, Jill. We get a lot of goofies in here, but sometimes something real sweet and genuine happens. I think that that was one of those moments. I think the more we talk about it, I think it magnifies it somehow. Beautiful.

The more we inspect it, the more beautiful it becomes. It's almost as if we are more responsible for it than they are, because we have dwelt on it for so long, don't you think? Yeah, it's like we made it happen retroactively. Hey, I want you guys to check out a new San Francisco based lifestyle podcast with a humorous bent. It's called The Philosopher Kings. They discuss topics like the fashion sense of Captain Ron, which Eiffel 65 song is topping

the charts in Germany. The ultimate cocktail to accompany your next screening of Point Break. There are special guests like a Google employee, acclaimed drag queen slash filmmaker Peaches Christ, and our lesbian roommate, Lauren the ape. So, I have mine questions in the show. I have 50 questions. I need another podcast about how to understand the ad for The Philosopher Kings guide to the good life.

That's an iTunes search for Philosopher Kings and subscribe right now. And honestly, if that description isn't enough to make you do it, I don't know what you're waiting for, because that's a lot of enigmas there. I'm going to be a bridesmaid for a wedding this fall. The Bachelorette party is scheduled in about a month, and I've just received word from the maid of honor that it's going to be fairly classic or cliche, depending on your viewpoint. She has scheduled an afternoon at the spa, followed by dinner, drinks, and dancing downtown. We are expected to perform the evening's festivities decked out in...

I was waiting. In penis jewelry. Is that jewelry for your penis? That is not jewelry for your penis. It is jewelry depicting the image of a penis. The knight is going to culminate... Like a diecast medal of penis. Exactly.

The knight is going to culminate with a visit from a male stripper to our hotel. Hey, I've got one of those. I see y'all are big fans. I see your fans as dicks. Well, get ready. I have one to enjoy. Pleased to enjoy. My dick's got a smaller ring with a dick on it.

Check this out. Somebody get a microscope and see the dick that's on his dick. Do you have any tips for how I can get through this shindig with some dignity intact? Some dignity intact. That's from Petrified in Pittsburgh. Yeah, I got a quick solution for you. Don't go. That sounds like the bits.

This is one of those things where it's not like you're missing something and there's some trick to coming through it with your dignity. It's designed to be embarrassing and wild and crazy and silly. But it's not, though. Is there some point... I'm legitimately torn on this question because we can all take a vote and agree that's terrible. Yeah. And let's make it clear.

Regardless of gender. Regardless of gender. If the genders were swapped, still fucking awful. That's the pits. If I have an evening as a gentleman where one guy is going to look at me and be like, this is just like in swingers. Like, I'm out. Yeah.

Oh, no. Fuck that dude. 100% out. And I love swingers. You're ruining my point. Don't get me wrong. Anyone who says that makes you want to kill them. The problem, like...

Okay, so there's one perspective that I can definitely see this from where it's like, you're a fuddy duddy. If you... I know it sucks, but just go along with it because this is what you do. But isn't that like why we're still doing funerals? Because no one says, hey, this blows. Can we not anymore? Like, I don't want to be rude, but...

This is what like the bride really wanted for her thing. Because she's nasty. She wants to get like rowdy and nasty. Yeah. I mean, is it possible that this is like her dream Bachelorette party? That's... I mean, that is the... That's probable.

You have to pres... I mean, you have to suppose that. And it's like, this is the last legit non-jewelry penis that this woman's going to see other than her sweet betrothed. I could see maybe, I guess. I can't divorce myself from the fact. I could never be in that situation. And I have not been in that situation, but I could never be in it and be like,

this is a professional. It's cool because we're giving them money. It would still be like, here's a naked person in a place where they're the only one. They're the only one. So, neat. How enjoyable. Hey, that's neat, I guess. Having a great time.

Good. You know what you should do? You should go full-blown. You should just furiously masturbate. And just be like, what? I'm enjoying it. Isn't this what you wanted? It's a typical response, right?

What? Should I not be twibbing it right now? Yeah. Expose. You planned it, Debbie. You deal with it. You planned it? Expose the norm.

That's what I'm saying. If I find I'm going to be in an uncomfortable scenario, sometimes one of the tricks I do is I try to learn more about the scenario than anybody there. So, I can try to make myself, like, get super deep into etiquette for male strippers. What is off-limits? What is good? What is not? Oh, no, no, no.

Okay, Susan, you'd have a dollar for each ball. It's a dollar per ball, Susan. You looked right into a spread, but you can't. Is that a move that male strippers do? Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. You know that. He part of it.

That's five dollars. I know what you're going to love. You know the part of the show where he's raising his butt, cheeks, and stance? It's emotionalist for 15 minutes. And you throw skittles. It's like a carnival game. You're not actually supposed to look for more than 20 seconds at a time. Or else, it loses its specialty.

Actually, no one's supposed to look. If you look, he leaves. He scampers off. He just spooked him. She left. No. He starts, and he turns, and looks at his spread bow. He starts to tie him over again.

People tie hydration. The hydration is right. He looks at his spread butthole. Hey, somebody look. God damn it, Christy. God damn it. I got started again. One, two.

No one look at my spread butthole. Please. Isn't that the plot of Magic Mike? It's basically the first hour and 45 minutes are him trying to get through the 15 minutes. No, it's an interactive film. It is just stuck and chanting. If you're on the honor system, you have to push the button connected to your seat. It is just stuck and chanting spread butthole on the screen.

Yes, mom and dad, I do want to pursue acting, and I'm sorry, but I'm quitting my day job as the usher that has demanded the audience to make sure no one looks at chanting Tatum's spread butthole. I said stuck and chanting. You said stuck and chanting. You said stuck and chanting doesn't hurt me. You said stuck and chanting spread butthole. You've conjured that image and new existence with your words. No, I won't.

Now everyone is thinking about stuck and chanting spread butthole. It's your fault. You know, you actually said it and I went through this montage similar to like show girls where stuck and chanting is like training. Christ. No, you got to spread it like this to really get the soldier vitro up. Humors are all at a whack channel. You know, that's not the first time that switches happen. Oh Christ.

This has been our comedy advice show. My brother, my brother, thank you so much for listening to it. Griffin has a formal apology he'd like to issue. I'm sorry, Ms. Channing. You were the president's wife and I did you wrong. Yeah, you did it real wrong. Thank you for everybody tweeting about the show. Jay Christie, Billiard, one, two, three, Socketier,

Skratty Bones, Luke Docker, Slaskamo, Pit Danger, Tracy Wilson, Avi Warner, everybody. Thank you for tweeting with the MB, MB, AM, hashtag and helping us to spread the word about the show. If you tweet about it, you want to help expose more people. That's the best way we have it growing. Just send it a bit.ly forward slash it'smovembam. That's our sampler and then get a get a taste of the show

and see if they like it. I want to say a special thanks to Lori and Jonah. They came and saw the complete works of William Shakespeare with me in it and brought me a shit you're not the most amazing cupcakes I have ever tasted in my entire life. So thank you guys so much. And Lori was sweet enough to make me swear that I would share them with the stage manager because her brother was the stage manager

and nobody ever brought him anything else. Brought the actor stuff. I know it was like the sweetest thing. So thank you guys so much. Thank you for coming. Thank you for the cupcakes. Now you definitely didn't share those with the stage manager, right? No, I ate everything.

You shoveled them straight into your throat. I want to thank John Rodger and the Long Winters for the use of our theme song. It's a departure off the album, putting the days to bed. Go buy it. I can't stress this enough. Don't Spotify it. Don't.

Because I'll know. Also, if you haven't, go give a listen to the other Maximum Fun Shows. Go listen to Jordan and Jesse. Go. Stop podcasting yourself, throwing shade. And our new little brother. Oh, yeah. The Memory Palace.

The Memory Palace. There's some good stuff in there. It's a bit of a tonal shift, I would say, from... They're not going to talk about soccer chanting. Spreads wide butthole. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to it. In fact, it probably means you shouldn't listen to this anymore. Ironically, no.

So go check out the Memory Palace. Yeah, it's on iTunes. You search for it. You listen to it. You subscribe. And subscribe and review our shows as long as you got the program booted up. As long as you're winning your C-Prompt and loaded iTunes. Go ahead and throw us a review.

This is finally Yahoo! It was sent in by Jake Carter. Thanks, Jake. It's by Yahoo! Answers user Corey, who asks, Can a kid with a very mild concussion go to Dave and Buster's? I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother and my brother and me. Kiss your dad. Destroy on the lips. Smart. We stacks these girls smart. Play your part.