My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 114: Roker Poker

Episode Date: August 6, 2012

Things get awfully real in this week's episode. There's really not a plethora of questions, actually: Just a few deep, deep dives into matters of the heart that will likely touch you. Right on the heart. Suggested talking points: Olympic Orgy, Swingers, Squeaky Greg, Smell Shirt, Fault Tart, A 25-Minute Treatise on Nerd Shame

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? It's a new place, and the girls do you want to just say, hey, I want to, just say, hey, I want to. Guys. Guys. What? Are you guys there? Yes, we're here. This is it, this is the show. Did you hear the news? What's that? What's the news? I don't know how it happened, because science hasn't explained it yet, but Al Roker can see into the future.

What? He is a prognosticator. He is a God of my men. He's a modern-day Nostradamus, except with more fluctuating weight patterns. Right? He can see into the future. He can, he's like, what are you bait griffin? What are you basing this on? He's like the living version of the Almanac book from Back to the Future, because you know. He's like the living, eating version of the Almanac. If the book was a man. It's like he's eating Back to the Future. So we, like, you watch the, have you guys watched the Today Show lately? I know you have. I'm there every day. I turn it on at 6 a.m. I'm like, Hoda, Kathie Lee, I'll check you soon, but right now I'm, I'm Lowers. I'm all Lowers.

Yeah, Lowers putting some flavors. You know what I call them? You know what I call them? I call them Lower Hours. Yeah. Those are my Lower Hours. Those are your Lower Hours when you, with, when you play Roker Poker, which is when you masturbate while watching Al Roker. So anyway, while you're there, you're playing Roker Poker. He tells you what's going to happen at the Olympics that day. He knows it. He knows it. He saw it. If there was any market for betting on the Olympics, this man would be rich. He has. He has. Hey people, why am, why haven't Bookie stepped up and worked out, I don't know, some kind of gambling on the Olympics or something? He possesses the site and I, it's not very handy except for every even numbered year, I guess,

but it's better than nothing. I don't have the site for shit. And Naughty, and honestly, let's be honest, about half of those are some games that nobody really cares about because you know why you don't care about the Winter Olympics? Because you don't get to see all the beautiful, all the heavenly bodies, you know? Like that's the problem with the Winter Olympics is everybody's so, so frumpy. Yeah, it's like, hey, hey, curling, let's see that. Let's see his glutes. Get him out. I don't want it. It's not for sex. I just want to admire the glutes. Yeah, it's not a sexual thing. It's not a sexual thing at all. I promise you, I just appreciate a good muscle and you got two of them down there, so let's peep those.

Let's get that out. I was playing Roker poker and now these glutes are in front of me, but fuck it, let's keep it going. I'm really, I'm really enjoying the coverage that shows me the workout routines of, of the Olympic athletes because I can't be motivated to do regular exercise and now you're going to rub it in my face with the world's most physically fit people are doing as if that's what I'm going to go to that level. That's what I'm going to do. I enjoy the coverage that they're doing where they show things that happened at previous Olympics that were just like huge and epic, like Kerry's drug, you know, landing or vault and everything and like amazing moments and then comparing the current Olympians to them. So not only do I get to feel

the pressure of being compared to the current Olympians, but then they also get to feel bad because they're not as cool as people that competed 12 years ago. It really is horseshit. Like you can't show the miracle on ice and then cut over to that badminton game that the South Korean team threw. Like you can't go from miracle on ice to like the uh-oh with a shuttlecock, which did anybody else know that there was a badminton like world federation? Yeah. Does that does that? It's one guy. It's one guy who's never had to do anything in his life and then they came to him like, listen, this is the most important decision you'll ever make in your entire life. And he looked up from his bowl of ramen noodles and he said, I don't know. He said,

listen to the words I'm about to say because they're going to be very important. This sport is kids play horseshit. There's a, we called the thing you hit a shuttlecock because of how fucking stupid it is. You can't expect me to take it seriously because nobody else is going to. It's called badminton. Like nobody fucking cares. It sucks. Do you think there was any kind of convincing that had to happen to get them to throw the games or do you think it was like, I need you to, yeah, you got it. Yeah, we want you to not even hear my pitch. No, I don't care. Here's what we want you to do. We want you to not play badminton. I'm afforded that option every day and you know what? I jump at it. What do you, what do you get? What kind of sponsorships are

you hoping to land if you gold in badminton? Man, you get the, you know, the fly, flyleaf. They make the best shuttlecocks, the very aerodynamic. They actually had to outlaw them in this because last year everybody was breaking all of the badminton world records because badminton so far. And then one time somebody hit a shuttlecock so hard it went through a guy. It just went through his chest and they had to cancel, cancel flyleaf shuttlecocks. And they didn't kill him. It like, it buried halfway through. He still lives with it to this day. Yeah. Yeah, it's really horrible. It powers a mechanical suit. He's become a bit of a mascot, actually. His friends make him lie on the floor and they put Cheetos in it. And then if he, if he sneezes real hard, they all fly

out and it's a great game for everyone. Do you guys think that right after the Olympics, all the Olympians get together and just have like a fucking Cheetos jamboree, like they're like, fuck it. We're done. Phelps is, like Michael Phelps is done. He's won 22. And he defaults into an orgy. He's won 22 Olympic, 22 Olympic medals. And he said he's never competing again. That dude has got to be on a fucking combos spree right now. He's got to be filling those bugles with that whiz. And he has got to be living right. I try to just point it out, but I do have to ask. It's got to just turn into an orgy. Right? Usually, right? You have a, you have a city full of the most like physically fit humans in the world and you've got them in

cramped quarters. And they're all riding like the highest like testosterone. Yeah, right. You've got the drama. They're all coming down off like the highest endorphin high of like competing and winning in front of like a, you know, an international like landscape. It's got to be like, okay, so it's time to, when you have 22 pieces of precious, precious metal hanging around your neck and you're out on the town in London surrounded by attractive people, like when you have that much decolletage, like all you're thinking about is like, I know I'm getting fucked tonight. Michael Phelps is getting fucked tonight. He's got Michael Phelps. There's a one in 22 chance that I'm getting bone tonight. Yeah. And Michael Phelps will fuck anything. If you slow to a trot in front

of Michael Phelps, he will fuck you. Like he doesn't take no precious. And don't jump in the water thinking that it's like hornets. Yeah. He's going to get you in the water. He is not machine gun fire. He can get you up in there. He will get you up in the water and I do want to be clear. It will be consensual. If you get within a few feet of him, the way his pheromones mixed with chlorine is utterly intoxicating, at least that's what I told my wife. You see him. His web fingers attached to his 10 foot long arms will caress your cheek in such a way that you can't say no. You see him coming down the street with his metal and you say, oh, it's just one metal. But then they fan out like the acid spitting dinosaur from Jurassic Park, all 22 of them just sort of fan out. And you

swoon. And you swoon. And then you poon. Now, I do want to warn you about Michael Phelps. He's been training so hard that he has lost the use of the English language. So he will look correctly in your eyes and say, Phelps cold. Can you keep Phelps warm? To be fair, Phelps does love chunk. Yeah, sure. This feels good on Phelps tummy fin. That's what his penis has to be for him, right? Just another piece of drag, right? Another thing to shape a few hundreds off off the old time. Phelps is a smooth dumb man, like G.I. Joe. We can all agree that Phelps is probably a more tender lover than Ryan Lochte, right?

I think Ryan Lochte is high on the winning. Michael Phelps has been through this before. He knows how it ends. He wants you to win. He wants you to win now, Ryan. It's your time to shine. No, he wants you to win sexually. Oh, sexually. He wants you to take home, he wants you to take home the sexual gold. Hey, this is my brother, my brother, me. It's an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your baby brother, Griffin McElroy. That was the longest lead in, I think we've ever, there was 10 advice free minutes for the folks at home. Yeah. And now I want to record an R&B album called Sexual Gold. Can we sing the whole? Oh, baby.

It's a complete spoken word album by Michael Phelps. You know what? We've piddled enough. Let's get into the advice. I really want to take a swing dance class with my boyfriend, but he is vehemently, vehemently, vehemently opposed to the idea. I mean, vehemently opposed to the idea. I'm sure it's because he's embarrassed or afraid to look stupid or uncoordinated in public. How can I convince him to get over his fear of looking silly and dance with me? And that's from dancing by myself. Well, the good news is because it's swing dance, there's all but two people look uncoordinated doing it. And those two people are busy filming movies set in the 1940s. Right. I have to warn you something. Since the year, let's call it

1949. And every year past that, if you see two people swing dancing at a public event, everyone since 1949, I said the same thought. These fucking people. Yeah. That's what everybody thinks when you swing dancing from like that's, and that would be my only problem with swing dancing classes. It might actually be kind of fun to take the class. It probably would be super fun. But you know, like cherry popping daddies are going to come on the wedding and you're going to have a look. You just touched on it. I feel John Favreau has done a lot of things to help this country. But that fucking zine from swingers is not one of them. It's I feel like that scene from fucking swingers led an entire generation of people who saw the movie swingers were like,

I want that. If I dance good like that, then Heather Graham will like me. But she won't. She can't. You don't know her. She doesn't have emotion. Doesn't have emotions either. I also think that my other problem with swing dancing is that no one has ever started saying dancing and anyone's thought, I bet they can just naturally do that. No, that's the problem. They know you've been prepping to like impress them for a long time. And then it's like, Oh, man, it's you're going from like, if you do that shit at a wedding or something like that, fuck you. Like because it's their specialty, not yours. And when you swing dance at a wedding, like you're not just having fun, you're performing. This is a show. Unless you're in the hit musical swing, you should not take

swing even down like you can stand on the stage and be like, No, guys, it just feels a little pretentious. Now we need to. Now we need to help the person. This is me helping. This is me helping. You're backing up the guy though. The guy didn't write in. Well, okay, well, let me say this. This is helpful advice to tell your boyfriend. The point of a class is for people who don't know how to do it to show up. Like if his worry is looking stupid and uncoordinated and not being able to do the thing, that's why you go to a class. That's a sweet, sweet, sweet world that you live in Travis, but that is not the truth. You think that if somebody here's how it works Travis, and this is a great, this is a great example of this sort of scenario, like would be perfect for

this happening is somebody goes to a swing dancing class, and they spend two years getting their swing dancing so right. And then they get out of swing dancing class and like, well, shit, now I have no place to swing dance. I know. I'll go back to the beginner level swing dancing class and make people think like I'm some sort of fucking zoot, zoot, daddy prodigy. Well then that person should like test into swing dance six. They shouldn't be back in swing dance one. Yeah. That person no longer wants to learn the art of the swing. They just want to get them. Oh, now he's a swing hustler. He's a fucking swing hustler. He just wants to get his rocks off. He just wants to make swing bets. And like, I bet I can throw this girl between my legs and catch her.

No way, dude. This is beginner swing. And then he does it and dudes out 20 bucks. Right. Hey, I bet you can't swing. Oh, you're right. I don't swing very well. Do you want to have a swing off? And then it's like swing swing swing swing hustle. And then it's like your wife is mine now. And you see that more and more every day since swingers came out. It's suddenly everybody's swinging everywhere. Well, no, just me. That's not not exactly. I mean, swingers did come out like like a year and a half ago tops. So it really is. It's really still pretty hot. I am having a hard time with this because I don't think I myself would it's just such an ostentatious thing to learn. That's my problem. Here's the thing. I was in a couple musicals in which I learned to swing dance

and it is incredibly fun. Like there's a reason it looks fun and it's because it is and it but but it's fun for you and your partner. It's not fun for anybody else. But fuck them as long as they give you a wide enough circle is that when you lift her up and she does that thing where she kicks backwards, she doesn't knock anyone out. You're good. That's the real problem. Have you considered the legal ramifications of swing dancing? Have you considered how how the first time you like your fluffy skirt like spins around and lacerates someone's wrist? Yeah. Have you considered how you're going to deal with those when you swing like I'm going to pick you up and your skirt falls down and like, oh, there's her butt. Yeah, it's awkward. Now, Travis, do you know what legal?

Do you know what legal things are because that's not technically everyone could see her legal briefs. Yeah, sure. That's gross. When you swing dance with somebody and and they are the the passive the more passive person of the swing dance. They're the self. The throwy. They are basically you are turning them into fucking human nunchucks and like you're not ready for that kind of level of power or responsibility. But no, have fun. But have fun. Really enjoy. Have fun. Really get up in there. You guys want a yahoo? Yes. I feel bad. We've never turned a question on somebody like that before. But I guess if somebody wrote in and was like, hey, I'm thinking about like eating poison, but my boyfriend says not to, we would probably come down on the same side. I guess like that dance

for all. All I'm getting at and and this is sort of the the maybe the more practical, you know, side of this of this advice is that if it's not something that both of you are excited to do, there's like so many different things. I mean, there's so many other things to do. And if he's not excited about it, I mean, you could try to you could try to badger him into it and you would win eventually. But you is that where you could always trade off of like these classes with you and then I'll go to and I'll finally do that gross whipped cream thing that you want me to do. Like that's where you put the nozzle for the can of whipped cream like in your butt and then you empty the entire can in there. You just shoot it right up in there. It's called a squeaky Greg.

Why does he want to give you a squeaky Greg? It's 2012. Those are illegal. In most states. Not in every state. Not in every state. It's illegal to give you. Well, that's the that's part of the trip he wants to with. He wants to whisk your way to Delaware or squeaky Greggs are still straight. Oh, it's great. It's only it's only Delaware. Maybe you've got to see the trees up there and oh, we'll get some cider. You're going to love it. Hey, pack the ready whip. Just pack the ready whooping case. We like want to put it on the cider or you know what, we can probably buy some cans there. Yeah. And I do mean some cans. Yeah. Please. Yeah. Yeah. Don't get it twisted. If there is only one can we'll have to we'll have to search out some old other

some old general storage or something. But hey, you know what, it'll be like antiquing. Oh, it'll be you know how you always want to go antiquing. It'll be like that. It'll be a lot like turning you into human cannoli. You're going to love it. It's going to thanks Delaware. You guys want a yahoo? Yeah, cool. This one was sent in by spummy or spew me. Thank you. Whichever two of those you like better. It's by who answers user DS who asks how to collect my scent for GF. I'm going off to college and I want to give my girlfriends some of my pheromones to remember me by. I also want them to last. What is the best way to do this? I have two ideas. One, go on a run in an undershirt, then put the shirt in a bag and the freezer. I could do this multiple

times. No, should I shower without antiperspirant before the run? Two, sleep in an undershirt for a couple of days. Presumably I should shower before this too. I'm extremely healthy in terms of diet and exercise and I knew my sweat should be pretty pure. Don't tell me I'm weird. I already know. Is purity a factor? This is 100% crystallized, pure. I'm so grossed out right now. This shit will get you so high. So what he's asking is in what form should I scum up a t-shirt and give it to my girlfriend because nothing says I love you like handing over some dirty laundry. Travis. Hey guys, girls are weird like you are. They're not weird. There's no reality in which it's like, gosh, Darlene, I really enjoyed getting drinks with you and the girls, but right now I have to go

home and smell my birthday's dirty shirt for the freezer. It's six months old and you ran on it for eight days and it's grow legs and it's walking around in the freezer. Let's see. I got some skinny cow up in here. I got some ready whip. I got a really just a brown and yellow flannel that used to be a white shirt. It used to be a plain white shirt. Now it's a brown and yellow flannel because of its odors. Why not just get a fucking necklace? No, I bought a necklace. I bought a necklace at the Caprio. I'll lock it and you can drip your juices into a file. I'm trying to stay away from anything that comes from your body. No, because we got to keep your smell in the rotation somehow. So you got to get some sort of phylactery and you got it. Okay, so you're going to want to

get her a pillow case stuffed with your own hair. How about just a pillow that you have slept on? When you sleep on a pillow for long enough, that pillow is basically a small dead version of you because it's covered in your cells and your smells. So just give that to her and then she can have that and then when you're off like fucking all kinds of college beddies and you're developing new smells, smells like incense, smells like swing dancing, other college books, then she'll have that to remember you by. Hey, I have a message for this question asker. Listen, I've only known you for one Yahoo Answers question, but I'm pretty sure that she is planning on dumping you before you go. You're very weird. Although it might be, it's a pretty good excuse

as you hand her your gross sweaty t-shirt for her to be like, oh, this is exactly the window I've been looking for. You're done. Great. You're done. You're out. Three strikes. You're out. It's actually 38 strikes. You're so weird. Oh, what is this? It's a grocery bag with an old ass sweaty t-shirt in it. Okay, great. The door's over there. It's been fun. It's cold out there. Do you want this back? Are you sure? Okay. We've actually never dated. Hey, real quick. You sit behind me in math class, so thank you for the shirt. I appreciate the shirt. Can you just run me through really quick? Why does it stink like shit? Is this, I really like the iPod Nano you've given me. I was curious why it doesn't

reek of your personal must. It's damp though. Could you feel me? Yeah, it is damp, but it doesn't really reek of your self-esteem. I am a woman, and this is a man's shirt. It does not appear to be new out the store, and it reeks like shit like a man would smell. So if you could just run me through really quick, I'm going to miss you so much. Have fun at college. Have fun at college. Goodbye. A lot of people don't know that Blue Can Trail hit him up style after exactly an incident like this. Her boyfriend gave her a musk shirt, and then she went on a shopping spree. Justin, have you ever worried that you have an inappropriate fascination with Blue Can? It's like every other episode we reference that fucking song.

You really think so? I wasn't going to say anything, but you're in a safe place here, and we love you, and I just feel like you're like an assessment. I just think she's a talent. Our key demographics, the numbers we've really pushed the ads on, this is a generation that does not know this song, I bet. We can start referencing single ladies. That's a good one. Would that be good? Would that be better? He gave her a stank-ass shirt, and he didn't put a ring on it. I'm pretty sure that, I think in this case, irreplaceable would be a better. To the left, to the left. It's so hard to say. All your fucking stinky shirts are in the garbage, and I set them on fire because they

smelled so bad, and then they sweat, got burned, and now it's in my walls. You need to tear down all the wallpaper and put up new wallpaper because it smells like your body odor in the kitchen, which sucks because that's where I eat, baby. Hey, I've had a crush on a girl for a few months now. I just asked her out yesterday. She said that she was flattered, but she doesn't think the relationship would be for her. That's a crazy excuse. That sounds like a really weird, interesting arrangement. Just not sure it'd be a great fit for me right now. But I'll tell all my friends. So my question is, should I continue being her friend and pursue a relationship later, or just try to move on? We are in our early 20s. You need to take... Crushed by the crush. You need

to take that microphone, and you need to turn it horizontally to the ground, and then you need to let it fall because you were out, and then you need to put one fist in the air, and then you need to walk away. There was a piece of advice that Griffin used to give quite frequently, but I think it would be apropos in this case. Don't wear silk on a Sunday. No, not that. Give the people what they want. Fish and friends go bad. Nope. So eat them both quickly. Nope. Are you talking about like, I'll pack your bags and move away? Yeah, you do that because you're done. You're out and you can't be here anymore. When you say to a girl, hey, I think we should go out on a date, and she says,

that sounds great, just not for me. That's not really what I'm into right now. You pick up your bags and put on your hobo hat, and you shuffle on down the road. I gotta say, this is... That advice, though, is in Congress with the other advice which we've been giving out this year, which is get it in 20 days. This person took a shot, went for it, went up to this person, got it, didn't get it, but they shot for it. You know what I mean? But that's it. He didn't stick the landing. To continue on with the Olympic finals. You didn't stick the landing. And he shouldn't have to fucking leave town because there are tons of reasons to pack your bags and move away, and I don't think this is one of them. But you're forgetting about, and this is sort of the dark side of 20

does, right? Because as powerful as get it in 20 does is, it's sort of like whatever Motherfucker first said, live like you were dying, or Carpe Diem, or whatever, like... Can we work YOLO? YOLO, exactly. I wish we could say it more on the podcast. I know, right? But we can't. I feel like this power has been tapped already. The YOLO power has been tapped. Not too late for Gungham style, but it's too late for YOLO. But like, the dark side of that is that you are not dying, and you are going to Carpe other Diems, and you do only live once, but you have to live the whole thing. You can dance like nobody's watching, but guess what? People are fucking watching, and they're saying, look at those fucking douchebags swing dancing.

I have an idea. No day but today. And then Tuesday. Yes, Rhett. That's accurate. And then your dad's birthday. And then your dad's birthday, and then you and Janine are going out to the lake. Like, there's other days. They're really all... This is my suggestion. This is what people need to start doing. Carry around with you a tiny notepad and a tiny pencil. And if something like this happens again, and you ask a girl, and she says no, pull out the notepad and pencil, and cross something off, and say thank you very much for your time, then move to the next closest girl to you, and ask her out. And then just continue on with the circle, marking people off. Now Travis, this... That is actually metaphorically like how Travis got through college. That's basically just like that.

It... Is this the... When you said that, did you think of that as soon as we read the question, and then you just sort of let her sit there in the chamber and wait for a time in which you could interact? I actually let that bounce around for a while. Yeah, I could tell you let that one just percolate, and you really honed it down to a perfect diamond dean point. I don't see anything wrong with that, because what it is, is it gives you... The fucking dumbest thing ever to do that anyone's ever done. No, because it gives you an out, because suddenly you're not embarrassed, because she was just next on the list to see what was up. Yeah, except everyone's gonna think you're a fucking serial killer dog. Well, there is that. I'm not saying it's a perfect plan.

It's the farthest from that. It's the farthest from perfect. I'm not saying it's a perfect plan. It's a plan of garbage. It has some faults. It's all faults. It has some faults. It's made from faults. It's a fault pie. It is... It has a certain air of fault to it. There's a... It's a fault tart. There's not even a crust on top. It's just a bottom crust of dookie, and then faults all through it, made in it. You know, to each his own. That's what I say. Yeah, one man's trash is a... Yep. One man's fault is another man's win. It's... So, here is the answer, and I will tell you the answer now. You are out. Like Griffin, it had it right. You're done. And because... And I'm not... I'm not saying like men and women can't be friends because they can, but that's not what you were

in it for. That's not what you... Not at all. And if you were to continue to be her friend under the pretense of eventually dating her again, yeah, girls know that. Like, they're pretty smart about... If you think you're gonna like... You're gonna wily coyote your way through this one, like she's not gonna see it coming, and then she'll fall off a cliff, and you'll catch her, and you'll be in love forever. Because if you think about it, like, what's your hope that she, right now, when you were really playing game, wasn't interested, but maybe if you try to fake a friendship with her, and she knows that for a while, that's what's gonna make her go, you know, I'm gonna think twice about this guy now that he's totally trying to worm his way into my life.

It's just gonna be hard on your heart, and you... You shouldn't spend your time that way. I spent a dog fucking... Listen to me. Listen to the words I'm saying. This is 100% like legitimately true advice. If you're in college, don't waste a fucking second on this. Don't waste a goddamn second, because you're not always gonna be in college, and then you're gonna look back and say, oh my god, why did I waste as much time as I wasted? It keeps me up at night. Like, don't let it happen to you. Just live it as hard as you possibly can. Don't be a statistic. And don't pine for people who are callous with your heart. If you really can now, so that you don't have to look back when you're old and callous and say

to people in college, move on, man. Don't waste a minute. Don't turn people into projects. There are people out there. There are dozens of people out there who would like you and would like to spend time with you and want to be with you because you are who you are. And now people, you don't have to wear down. Don't waste your time that way. Get it. Get out. Get it in 20 does with somebody else now. You're done. Cross out the list and move on to the next one. Don't fucking know lists. Do that. It works. You can have lists in... I feel like elementary school is okay to have lists of girls that you would want to... I guess in elementary school, smooch on the cheek or something. I don't think that that can... You're top 10 smooch list.

Yeah, you're top 10. I don't think that that can go. I don't think that can leave the elementary school. And don't go to elementary school now and make one because you're fucking 22. And that's gross. Do you think that metaphorically, when we look back at college and think of all the times we didn't get it, and you're like, do you think that's what all of life is like that metaphorically? If you're not getting it, it's so... The difference between college and the life I'm living right now, this is what I'm saying. The difference between college and the life I'm in right now is similar to the difference between... It's relatable metaphorically to the difference between being alive and being dead is basically what I'm saying. Do you think that's an accurate

metaphor? I bet that hell is just a series of being able to watch, completely watch on television or on a giant movie screen, those moments. And then having a pop-up video that's like, if he would have done this, then this was the million-dollar idea that would have changed his life or it would have been the most amazing night of his life. But he didn't because he was chicken shit. If you'd ordered the Panang Curry, Steve Buscemi would have heard and you'd be like, oh, bro, that's my fave. Let's party down. And then he would have been best friends with Buscemi. Yeah, and that is, I guess, life's ultimate achievement. What the fuck are you talking about? I regret my life is perfect right now. I have a great podcast and family and girlfriend and

job, but man, me and Buscemi were buds. What if Buscemi were your roommate? Oh god, I would forsake everything to be a Buscemi bud. You fucking idiots. I'm sorry that this isn't enough. I'm sorry that you don't live satisfying lives and that you need like a trap tooth actor to help you, to help you find satisfaction. I'm going to tell Sidney all this shit that you said and Teresa. You don't have to listen. Listen, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, I love you. But I love, love Buscemi. So I just feel like there's a Buscemi shaped hole in my life. It was for Sidney's sake that I didn't pick like a girl or something. I didn't say like, and then Kathleen Turner would hear and you would get totally crazy. So wait, in your mind,

Kathleen Turner is the female version of Steve Buscemi. Like they're equivalent. Right, exactly. Oh Christ. I'm so disappointed. Let's go to the money zone. It's time. I'm ready. Hey Griffin, who's this message for? It's for Amanda, AMA and DA. Hey Travis, who's this message from? From Cody. It's from Cody. Yeah. Oh, was there like a thing? That would have been the traditional first anniversary gift is paper and the internet is kind of like paper. So Cody thought that an NB, NB, AM blessing would be a neat way to surprise his beautiful, loving, nerdy wife while she's driving or doing her makeup. After all, she first introduced Cody to that sweet,

sweet, maculary wisdom. So congratulations to the two of you on your anniversary on your first one. And Amanda and Cody, I want you to know you have my blessing. You can now pursue your relationship with the blessing. Time to consummate this. What else we got, Travis? The internet is, can we just address the fact that what we do is not paper? Wait, we're not, you realize, we're not like talking into paper and then putting it on iTunes. Well, hold on, some of us are. Okay. Well, I've been meaning to talk to you about your recording set up for a while because it filters out all my plosives. Yeah. Travis used to pop his bees really bad, but then he started shouting it into paper, making inventions and radio with a needle.

And it depends on like how loud I'm in because sometimes it's three-sheeter, sometimes it's a four-sheeter. It just depends on the guy. Tell me about it. Poop, like poop. Nope. We got another message for Tyler Matheson. The message is from Ben Gordon. He says, happy birthday to a loyal MB, MBAM listener for a present. Could you creatively insult our friend, Corrin? He's getting a dual masters in literature and poetry. I would submit that Corrin is doing a fine job of it himself. But how can we make fun of him? He's a dual master. He's fighting in both literature and poetry and killing people with his words. I don't want to get on this guy's bad side since he's so good at Yu-Gi-Oh. So that joke worked on two levels because he probably is probably pretty

good at Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm just glad that he's working long and hard, like just probably 80 hours a week on these masters so that he can work at McDonald's, I guess. I don't know. What do you do with literature and poetry degrees? Besides trying to impress women. That's us. You took it right on my mouth. Guys, I want to talk about the all-new Squarespace 6. This is a web design tool that lets you build your own website. It's got beautiful new templates, a drag-and-drop, super simple interface, responsive design. It's got social media connectivity. It's got cloud stuff up in it. So go to Squarespace.com. Our listeners get 10% off by using offer code MyBrother8. That is the number 8. Don't spell it out. MyBrother8. And you can get 10% off.

All one word. And you can get 10% off their web tools. And these, I mean, it looks really slick. It looks like some slick-ass website. And send us a link to the website you make with it so we can check it out. Go check it out. I can't confirm that Gryphonspacejam.com is built on Squarespace, but wink nod. Maybe it is. But it probably isn't. I don't want to give them a bad name because it's a nice website, but it's not Squarespace material. I did want to mention one other thing, FundingHunter.com. It's a free social site directed to entrepreneurs and invest-yours. The members can make profiles and pitch their ideas to other members using tools and features. Anyone could be an investor. Members make the connections and build relationships.

We provide the platform. Now, this site, FundingHunter.com, is where you can learn more. It's especially applicable for us because I think it's fair to say we've had, would you say, history of bad investments? I keep betting against Michael Phelps. What the fuck am I thinking? That's not an investor. I did want to talk to you about that. I invested in family circus, the comic strip. But here's the problem. The return on that investment, it has been zero because I don't think that you can, I don't think that's a thing that you can invest in. I did invest in it. I filed the investment papers from the Rite Aid parking lot, from the guy, from that one guy. If it makes you feel any better, at least just a zero return,

I've been losing money on Marmaduke for years. That guy though, he's got to be making a killing. He's always out there. He's been out there for like 20 years, it seems like. Yeah, I actually, I got a little more specific. I'm more of a risky investor. I short sold Beetle Bailey. That's a real blue chip there. He's a blue chip. That's one of your classic performers. It mitigates the risk, I think. I tried to short sell Jeffy, but then the cop showed up. So I don't know exactly. That's tricky. There's a lot of copyright that goes into that, a lot of trafficking. It's sticky wicket. Sticky little wicket. I got into BC, like really hardcore, but all the religious undertones really put off all my potential

buyers. So I'm not going to fall for that one again. Hey, lock horns. Hey, if you could just turn a profit in this quarter, fiscally, please, thank you. Can you stop with the fighting and maybe you focus on black ink for once. If you could do that, just get a fucking divorce. You're not happy together. Split the stocks. I'll take the shares of the lady and you take the shares of the guy and we can just focus on profitability. Maybe you need somebody nice. You're wasting your lives, lock horns. You're wasting your lives. Hey, my co-worker is trying to get me to play Magic, the card game, but I don't think my street cred can handle it. Got any suggestions? That's from Too Cool for Cards. You don't have any street

cred. Yeah, well, first off that, guaranteed if you listen to this podcast, you ain't got no cred. I love you listeners, but come on. You ain't hard, but also more importantly, you don't know what it's about. That shit's going to keep you from doing all kinds of cool stuff that you would otherwise miss out on, like playing Magic. And by cool stuff, I don't mean in the traditional sense, or anybody would ever look at you and say, oh, that's a desirable sexual object, but you'll probably have fun. Griffin, you don't think ability to play Magic is a trait that people look for in a sexual partner? I don't think anybody has ever perused somebody's swamp deck and gone, this person is fuckable, highly fuckable. Now, I'm going to disagree, because I've been to

PAX. I couldn't disagree with you. I think that's probably happening. If I had someone who was trying to get me to play Magic, I would probably do it. My problem is that I'm a 31-year-old man. I live in my house, and I mean that. You're not better than living outside your house. I mean that in the hermetically sealed sorts. I live in my home. Justin is sealed for freshness inside of his house. Right. That's how I keep my cherubic look, is I don't let myself get exposed to the elements. His front door is tamper-proof, so. Yeah, that one's getting in here. The only reason I'm not playing super nerdy-ass board games in Austin is just because I haven't met a group of people to play those with yet. You can't be afraid of this. Here comes the

emails. I've realized recently that it's a lot like trying to find, what I imagine, trying to find like a drug dealer or buying or selling drugs. There's a lot of in-ya window and raised eyebrows when it comes to D&D. New guy just started working at the theater, and we were talking about like video games, and Dragon Age came up, and somehow that led to this like, have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons? And it was like, I mean I made. I remember what when we were trying to find out if our group of friends in Huntington would be interested in playing the new D&D when like this was a few years back, and like this was a conversation. It was like our cool going out drinking buddy group of friends that I don't think we'd ever even played like

risk with or anything like that. Like trying to broach that subject with them is like two fucking intelligence agency officers like trying to drop secret codes at each other. Like, hey, have you ever watched Lord of the Rings? Do you like that like swords and shit? Yeah, what's that all about, huh? Like in, you know, like Willow, like Goblins, and just like, hey, do you like, like Candyland, and uh. Just sorry you're operating. What if we, can you imagine a world in which someone just like knocked on a door and she's like, I'm, I love Dungeons and Dragons, and I think you do too. Let's do this. Oh, let's do it. Okay. Oh, where you going? Suddenly, it's out here in the light of day. Oh, it's, it's a lot more attractive than I would

have thought. Here's what's up. And I used to feel this nerd shame in a big, big way. And even when I was like writing about games professionally, like I would be embarrassed to tell people what I did because I was in college and I was super, I cared about what other people thought about me. But like, if don't ever, if you want to play magic, the gathering, like if you want to get super into it, just fucking do it. Like if you want to do something and it's, it's healthy, then, then just do it and don't let, you know, your so-called street cred, which isn't a real thing that exists. Everybody's too busy, like giving a shit about whether or not people think what they're doing is nerdy to actually do it to other people. So just fucking.

But, but like, okay, I see your point. Like, I know what you're saying. And I do think anybody can get hung up on, on, you know what, outside perception. But at some point, your inner perception comes into play too. I mean, I think it's legitimate to say that you don't want to see, that's not the kind of person that you want to be. You don't see yourself as the sort of person who, who plays magic, the gathering. Like that's not your separate, but they, they haven't tried it yet. They haven't. First off, they haven't tried it yet. But second off, it's fucking stupid to define yourself that like, like, when you play, like if you play Magic the Gathering, if you start playing it, you are not all of a sudden the guy who plays Magic the Gathering. And if, if you

do think of yourself that way, then you need to literally define, yes, you're incorrect. Okay. But go on. You know what I mean. You're not like, Hey, I'm the magic guy. Like people don't introduce your party. How many times do you, how many times do you think you need to get spotted by babes playing Magic the Gathering before that particular image sticks? Answer one. You are goofing. You are goofing right now. But this is like the actual thing that this person is worried about. Just fucking own it. Just if you. It's 2012. It's not 1995, where you're going to get beat up. Yeah. Nobody's going to like, a nerd is not going to, or a bully's not going to come and like, drop a big pile of sand in front of you and then proceed to kick it all over your face and cards. Like,

that scenario, by the way, did not take place on a beach. That's why they had to bring their own sand to kick on you. Okay. They're not going to open a bag of sand and dump it at your feet and then wait for the whole thing to empty out and then. I swear to God, if you own it, like, you are never, ever, ever going to have an issue with this. When John Locke was playing board games with his friend across the phone, is that when you thought John Locke ruled? Or did you think John Locke ruled when he went to an island and brought a box of knives and started getting it? That's, like, you don't ever see him on island. And then he carved his own chest set. Like, yeah. Those knives, Justin. Okay. Correct. He played backgammon on the beach

with the, with the, with Walt, with Walt and he. They're just trying to cling to civilization at that point. That's different. If he had said my civilization on the island, he would have put his knives down and said, Oh, I think I'm going to get really good at this. Okay. And maybe there's a chance that you start playing magic gathering with your friend. And then the writers realized that he's going nowhere. So they write him off the show until like season six. And then they bring him back. Yeah. There's lots of things I haven't tried that I don't think, like, that I don't think are cool. So I don't want to do them. Like what? Like we just had a 10 minute, we had like a 10 minute goof about how we're not going to take swing dancing. But that's different because

we don't want to be those. When I, if I got like super into magic and I went out to like a park or something and had an intense magic, the gathering match, I wouldn't be doing it. So other people would look at me quite the opposite actually. But if I went to the park and started swing dancing, I might as well be like, I might as well put up signs and fucking charge admission because that I want people. But did you, would you wear a cloak? That's my, that's what I keep coming back to is my question. Would you wear a cloak? This is, you're bordering on hate speech right now. So watch it. You're being very mean to magic. Fin ice. I'm not. No, I'm not. Like, I play, like, this isn't what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, like, there are, there are things

that you, that, like, you don't have to feel peer pressure to be nerdier than you are. That's what I'm saying to feel peer pressure to not, that's what I'm saying. Everything that you are worried about, I swear to you, because this person's not going to go around like throwing magic cards in everyone's face, like, I'm the king of all magic. This, like, that's, that's, unless it turns out he is, if it turns out you're the king of all magic prophesied about for, for centuries. Go, like, go, go, right. He is coming. Make it rain. Go make it rain. But that's not what this person's doing. This person is worried about outside, outside scrutiny, that it doesn't fucking exist. I swear to you, it doesn't exist. So let's boil it down. This is, this is what I think we're saying.

Stop. Take a second. Close your eyes. Don't worry about anyone else. If you truly don't want to play because you're not interested in doing it, fine. Then, like, you say, you know what, I've got enough stuff going on. I'm not interested in it. Great. But if your only hesitancy to not do it is that you're afraid of being judged by other people, try it. Yeah. But do remember that you are judged by other people all the time. You aren't being judged by other people all the time. And if you are, fuck those people. Like, that's going to have zero. Because, like, guaranteed they do something that they're embarrassed about. Yeah. If you live your whole life, like, just maybe they're playing Roker poker at home. If you're constantly, every day. If you want to play Roker

poker in public, I think you should be able to, I'm trying to get those laws passed through Congress. It's all, it's a tough, that's a tough putt, though. Public masturbation. It's a big thing with these people. Yeah. What is your hang up? Prudes. It's the 60s. Like, don't. It's not. It makes me sad for people who have to keep their freak on a leash, you know? Griffin's not afraid to tell everyone about his Pokemon days. Yeah. Which by which I mean the present. Yeah. Now, this day, he's telling the person about the day that he is in. If you, I'm not saying go around and sing, sing, write songs about Magic the Gathering and then sing to people. That's not what I'm saying. Because then it's a fetish. But don't be afraid to do it

just because somebody walking by might tweet about it. Like, fuck it, man. Life is way too short. What if Steve Buscemi plays Magic and you're, you don't get to be friends with Steve Buscemi because he wants to play Magic the Gathering with you and you're afraid to try it? If you're not embarrassed about it, there's nothing anybody can do that's going to, that can hurt you, right? Like, you're doing it, you're owning it, you're living it. That's great. What I'm saying is, if you're embarrassed about it, like, it doesn't jive with your own sense of self, then you shouldn't feel like you have to do it. Like, it shouldn't, like, it's okay to think that things aren't for you or they're not how you

want to conduct yourself, I guess is what I'm saying. I'm just saying everyone should watch the hit Jim Carrey movie, Yes Man. Don't watch the Yes Man. Yes, watch the Yes Man, say yes, because it's the sequel to Liar Liar, which everyone loved. Why didn't they just call it that? This is literally, we had this conversation on the last podcast and I edited it out. Really? I swear to God. I want to have it again. Did I, I feel like I maybe didn't make my, I understand what you're saying, but there is, because I do review video games for a living, but like, there, there are levels of being nerdy that, that I can't get in. I'm overweight. Like, I've got some strikes again. I'm pasty. I've got some strikes against me. There are levels of

nerddom that I cannot, that I cannot embrace as a role. I played magic a couple times in high school. Like, you know, sat down, had somebody walk me through it, teaching how to play it, played a game or two. It wasn't for me. Like, it wasn't something I picked up on and I continued on to this day, but like leading up to it, it was my friend, Eric, and he kept saying like, oh, come on, it's really great. And I didn't want to play it because it was quote on, yeah. And then I played it and was like, oh, I can see where someone would totally get into this, but this is not for me. This is not something I'm going to dedicate my life to. But like, okay, here's an example. SCA guys, right? Society, creative writing. They're in

the park. They've got lances. They've got, um, they've got armor and they're morping. I think is what they're morping. They're morping. They're animals. They're morping is what they're doing. Do I think that will be fun to do for an afternoon? Of course I do. But I also know like, you can't unring that bell. Well, but that's a bad example because that is tantamount to medieval swing dancing. Yeah, basically. Yes. Right. You're doing, you could do it on your lawn. Nobody does magic to gathering as performance art. So if someone can figure that out, I will kick start it. If there's a thing, if you put, what I'm saying though, is if this person plays magic and really likes it and it makes him happy to play it, like, don't feel, if you just own it,

then you're not going to feel embarrassed about it. If you don't let it define yourself, if you just say, yeah, it's a thing I do, whatever. Like it's, it's fun. I enjoy doing it. That is the thing. That is the key, Griffin. You're right. And that is the salient point that I want to get across. If you're not embarrassed about it, then don't worry about it. But I'm saying that's a switch. No, but I think you're using the word embarrassed where you should say, if you don't like it, if you don't enjoy it. That's not what we're saying. That's not what we're saying at all. What I'm saying is no, the embarrassment in your brain. And I swear to God, this is true. It's a switch and you can flip it. You can, you can flip that switch from like, I used to be embarrassed

to like fucking ride the bus in Chicago and, and like play my Nintendo DS. Like I would, I would not do that because I didn't like people watching me play video games. But like I flipped that switch eventually and I realized that this is a thing I want to do on here. Like it's a great way to pass the time. I'm going to do it. And then like it seriously is as easy as that. We spent a long time on this question, but I think I don't know. I like it's a thing that I, it comes up like really, really frequently for me. But you're, but, but like, yes, I, like I get your point, like I understand what you're saying, but that sort, that level of like, it's not as easy as you're making it seem because that level of social recalibration, deciding that something isn't,

is appropriate socially, like just deciding it for yourself. It doesn't matter if it's appropriate. That doesn't always fly. Like cause you still do live in a society. Like it's the same reason I like, I think sweatpants are comfortable, but I'm not wearing them every day because that's not what I'm saying is if you wear those sweatpants on a bus and fucking 55 people on that bus see you and all say, look at this fucking goon in his sweatpants, and then they go home to their families at night. They are not going to talk about your goddamn sweatpants. They're not going to remember that you exist. You're dead to them. That's, listen, like this is not a message of sunshine and flowers. Like you are so fucking insignificant

that maybe 10 people are going to remember you after you die. And those 10 people sure as fuck aren't going to remember that you played magic cards. I guarantee it. So good luck. Like life is meaningless. And life is meaningless, I guess. And like you're super insignificant and you're probably not going to be famous. If you get famous, then yeah, maybe you shouldn't be buying magic cards. But Steve Buscemi, if you're listening and I hope that you are, probably put them down. Or maybe you should play magic cards. Maybe you should. You could lead the fucking revolution. Like Vin Diesel when he's like, yeah, I played D&D. Like he fucking started the movement and he made it easier for the rest of us. And thank you Vin Diesel. But like,

seriously, nobody gives a shit. Nobody, zero people give a shit. There are zero shits to be given. Unless you wear sweatpants every day. No, even then. No, Graven. I'm sorry. I have to stand like that. It's so extreme that I could walk around Austin with 10 fake dicks attached to my body. And I could run around and I could be the fun guy who runs into people and slap them with his fake dicks as he jogs down the street. I could ride, I could ride a fucking jazzy. And I could use a giant fake dick as a lance and I could run it into people. I could beat someone to death in the street with a fake dick and in a year and a half nobody would remember me. I'm, this is like, you think I'm joking, but I'm being 100% serious. I could be

the fake dick murderer and I would not be. But what I'm saying is that yes, while you are, you may be technically correct, that behavior becomes your defining aspect. Nobody's gonna say, man, the fake dick murderer has gray hair. It's just not going to be something they know. You're right. But what I'm saying is in 10 years, they're going to be at dinner and someone's gonna say, do you remember the fake dick murderer and the other person's gonna say, no, I don't. I don't remember what my wife looks like and I've been away from my house for six hours. I'm not joking. These are things that I seriously think about when I think about whether or not I should do this thing in public. You make such a small impact in the world

that nobody's gonna give a shit. Just play Magic Cards. Everybody play Magic Cards. This podcast is sponsored by Wizards of the Coast. Thank you Wizards of the Coast. They are paying us exclusively in energy, so. We did like three questions this week because of this question, but it's important. I feel, well, I feel, I'll be honest with you. I feel like it's a, I feel like this is one of the few times where the differences in our age is dictating this, like dictating these these answers. Because I mean, I do think it matters what people, like I do think it's okay to care about what people think about you. Now let me weigh in because you guys have been arguing for like 20 minutes. Thank you. It's just occurred to me that like, I feel this same way,

but about things in the reverse, like joining a fantasy football league. Like if someone was like playing my D&D game, I'm like, okay, totally cool. But if somebody was like, play in my fantasy baseball, fantasy football, you know, March Madness thing, I would go, oh, I'm going to I got to tell you, I'm going to do this. I'm right there with like, I have the same, my friend, Justin Minsker is asking me, I think to be on two different leagues of like a bowling league and a kickball, a kickball league. And like both times I was like, no, that's not for me. Just because like, I mean, I would kick the ball and it would hit a child and then I would be embarrassed. That's the same thing. You're right. Like I just haven't, I've come to terms with the kind of person

that I am. And that person is, is kind of nerdy and enjoys, enjoys watching sports. I, I'm, yeah, I'm embarrassed to try and cross over. So this is what, this is what I'm saying. Travis is exactly right. This is what I'm saying. You just hit, you have, this guy has come to terms with the person that he, he is. And I think it's okay to come to terms with yourself being a person who wouldn't play a fantasy card game. But I disagree because I think you should at least try. I don't think you can. Did you try kickball? Yeah. When I was fucking nine years old, I have no pleasant memories from the experience. I'm just saying that I think it's, it's really easy to say, you know, live like you're dying and it doesn't matter what other people think. And it's, you're insignificant and they won't care

until you're actually in that moment where you're playing Magic the Gathering and somebody walks by and snickers behind their hand and suddenly you feel like a tiny, you know, insignificant person. But if you let that kind of shit bother you, then your life is going to be just miserable. No, no, no. I'm not saying, I'm not saying that you should let it bother you. I'm saying that as much as I would love it to be a switch that flips, it's not like you've got to convince yourself and it's a constant thing to remind yourself not to care what other people think. But I still don't think, like that's not even what I'm talking. Like if somebody wants to, to judge like that, like somebody wants to get a kick because they're

personal, like adjudication of what's cool doesn't grok with yours. Like that's like, fuck that guy. I'm with Griffin on that. Like I think, yeah, screw them. I'm just saying that it's okay to have a series of guidelines for yourself in the way in which you want to, to Yes, but I also think you can completely rob yourself of a positive experience. I remember, I remember going to the Bob Dylan concert with you, Justin and sitting there and like everybody else is on their feet and dancing and me going, ah, you know, this isn't my usual way of enjoying a concert and I'm not that big into Bob Dylan. And you looked at me and said, you're never going to see Bob Dylan in concert again. You should get up and enjoy this. And I did

and ended up having a great time inspired myself because I just let myself do it and didn't worry about anything or try to like rob myself of a positive. The problem with your, the problem with creating your self identity, like you're, you're talking about Justin and knowing the kind of person that you are and using those as guidelines is that's, that's fine. And that's a great way to like live your life with that guiding light. But the very first time that keeps you from doing something awesome that would become a new defining like thing in your life, it's all fucking, it's all fucking forfeit. It's all, it's, it's all for naught. That's accurate. I'm just like, I say where you're coming from. I, I, one of my friends invited me to go play golf

and it's like I've never played before. I'm not an athletic person. I knew I was going to fucking humiliate myself because that is a game that requires both physical prowess and accuracy. And I was, I was embarrassed and I was embarrassed like my first few holes because I shot it and I hit a child. That's a big problem for me. It's a big game. But then like I had a great time and I want to go play it more. Like it do, do as much new shit as you possibly can because that's the only way that you can know whether or not you're going to like it. YOLO! You had some really good advice there and then you completely ruined it. ROLOS! Okay. Frodo! There it is. Um, we've been recording for about six hours. I feel bad because I felt like we didn't, I felt like we didn't bring

me any goofs. No, I think you got maybe we got some goofs in there, but I think we got some real like we got that advice that like is broad. I feel like Delilah right now. Can I, can I, I'll tell you what's fucking with me and maybe this will help to inform me. I have like in my head ideas of people who I think are cool, right? Like, oh man, that's a cool person. That's the kind of person I'd like to be. Okay. And there are some parts of all culture, not just nerd culture, but anything, uh, watching bad TV, whatever, you know, like that don't, that I think to myself, I let, I get the thought of like, man, that person would never do this. And like, that's, and, but like, and that's the thought that I have. Like, I think that person's cool and I think that person lives

like the sort of life that I would like to have or be perceived of having and then, but there's no way that they would be caught doing this thing. We're 114 episodes in and from going over Yahoo answers and everything that people have asked is you don't think that that person that you think is infallibly cool goes home and does something. That's what I'm saying. Like uncool or just super like weird straight real talk. Do you think I'm cool, Justin? Do you think I'm a cool person? I think you're a cool dude. Okay. When I was 15, I spent probably $800 on Pokemon cards. Like you can't, because if everybody else is thinking like that, and I think a majority of the people are, then they're not like airing out their secrets. There's no way to really know

like what a person is like until you like marry them. That's basically, that's basically it. Like there's no way of knowing what kind of shit a person is into if they are also living their life like embarrassed of the things that make them happy. So inspirational advice. So YOLO. So YOLO. Seriously. YOLO. I think you should um, but do do play it in private though, because it may not may not work for you. You should also play it in private because it's not really that fun to watch. It's like the most boring game ever. Pokemon cards though. Oh, that game has at least half the cards are racist, so you don't want to say them out loud. You know, it's great strip Pokemon cards. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I like is strip out poker roker, strip roker poker,

strip something. How are you, can I ask how you're playing poker roker without it being stripped? I actually played reverse uh, uh, roker poker where like I put on more clothes. Or out roker masturbates while watching you do the things that you do. I just have him give me like some tips about the weather, you know, he wants to know what's going on on your neck of your penis. The answer is a small tie. Yeah. Yeah, I got a small tie down there. I won that hand. Now you have to tell me what's going on and in Des Moines weather wise, but do it slow. Take it slow for me. Why don't you put a few more pounds on? Hey, yeah. Wait, now we can't get into creepy. No, I'm just saying I liked it better when there

was more Al de Jerk off too. Okay, I've got Jerkable, I've got Jerkable Roker for Miles. This has been my brother, my brother and me. Of course, it's a comedy advice show as you certainly gathered over the past 20 minutes. There was a nice parabola of like helpfulness there. We came down nicely. This is what a literarist would call the descending action. Welcome to the day new wall of our advice comedy podcast. Thank you so much for listening, number one. That's the best thing you guys do for us is listen to the show. We really appreciate it. But thank you so much for everybody tweeting about the show. Thank you to Karin, Karine. There we go. Karine, John Weebel, Heron Bird, Kevin Chai,

Pokedex Swain, Sabay Thin, GR. No, that's a good one. GR, Mount Mosher, Hallways spelled in a crazy way that I love, and DC Badger. Thank you so much to everybody tweeting about the show. Thanks, guys. I want to thank John Rodger and the Long Winters for the use of our theme song It's a Departure off the album Putting the Days to Bed, which you should be listening to. You should also listen to the other Long Winters albums. I've been flying around a lot lately. I've been listening to the whole discography, so get up on that. You should also be listening to all the other Max Fun podcast, Jordan Jessica, Throwing Shade, all of them. And I've been on a big kick of audiobooks this summer. And if you haven't listened to the audiobook version of John Hodgson's

books, you know, more information than you require in the areas of my expertise, I don't know if that is all is out on audiobook yet. But if you get a chance, make sure you listen to them. They're just wonderful. They're great. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. So here we got a final Yahoo answer that I'm going to read to everybody right now. Daddy's ready. This Yahoo answer, this final Yahoo answer was sent by Christian. Thank you, Christian. It's by Yahoo Answers user George, who asks, how can I make my pennies longer? What? I assume there's some misspelling in there. Yeah. I'm Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad. Square on the lips.