My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 120: Shuddering Ectoplasm

Episode Date: September 17, 2012

It is the grandest tradition of all time that, should a new Beverly Hills Chihuahua visit itself upon the world, MBMBaM shall celebrate its arrival. Come to us, brothers and sisters. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Suggested Talking Points: BHC3, Dad in Law Fight, 11:11, Jeezy in the Room, Burger Kingdom, Slowbro, Tat Prenup, 50 Shades

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello, and welcome to my brother, my brother, me, and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, George Lopez. I'm your middlest brother, Phil Lamar. I'm your baby brother, unfortunately, I am Ernie Hudson. Hey, do you guys want to hear about my Pokemon card strategy? Do you want to rap about it? It's based mostly on powerful evolutions and power stacking.

As you can certainly tell, we have been swept up in Beverly Hills, Chihuahua, Biba La Fiesta. Let me tell you, because I do speak about six years of educational Spanish, that means live the party, which is now my new life's motto. Live the part. Now, this film is directed by Lev Spiro, who I'm looking at is IMDB. You know him from other films. He is directed like Modern Family. I like that TV show. The kids are they're sagacious. They talk like kids don't talk. Let me hit you with this, Wizards of Waverly plays the movie. You might also know him from Super Ninjas. That's S-U-P-A-H Ninjas, Super Ninjas. That is also another. Now, I'm sitting here. I'm looking at

the IMDB page and under the trivia, the did you know the only thing listed is that there's a connection to Beverly Hills, Chihuahua one. I should fucking hope. Yeah, I don't know. They tried to reboot the whole franchise. Yeah, it's like a separate but parallel Chihuahua verse. Mm-hmm. You know what connection there isn't, though, and that is French Stewart. Do I think that French Stewart listened to the episode of the podcast where we inexplicably savaged him and then he just popped on Man in the Mirror and then he said, no more, this far no further. I like that you're living in such a utopian society in which you believe that that is what happened because my fear, my worry, is that what happened was all the executive producers

of Beverly Hills Chihuahua three got together and somebody said, oh, what about French Stewart? And they all kind of like, no one would make eye contact with each other. And they're just like, we don't, we don't want him back. That's even worse. No, why can't, can we do one episode without beating up on French? I think, no, I think that French, I think he's reinventing himself or alternatively, they said, let's put him in three. And then some producers like, no, no, no, you got to have, you got to have a long lead ideas when you're dreaming up the BH franchise. And just imagine. You will leave some room to go narratively. BH three, it's going to be strong enough to stand on its own legs, sans French Stewart.

We got Ernie Hudson's in the mix. We have Emily Osment. We have, oh, we have Kyle Gass. That's, that's no good, but it's going to be, that's a bumming me out. Tom Kenny is there by law as dictated by law. Tom, there is voice over to be done all of it. Every, every single movie with voiceovers is in the contract that Tom Kenny, he can just sit by and like drink coffee and watch other people do voiceover. He has to be there. Don't, I'm saying it's strong enough. Don't push the river. Don't shoot the cannon indoors. Let's say French Stewart for, for the quattro, you know, bring it back. He's got to come back. So it's like a big turn. Yeah. You thought he was dead at the end of two when he fell in front of that steamroller, but no,

no, he is back in the quattro because flat puppies. This time, this time the Chihuahuas are going to France and it's going to be fun because that's like, it's part of his name. It's, we'll see you in the quattro, French. Don't you think French Stewart would be good speaking of being run over by steamroller? Don't you think French Stewart would be good if they remade who frame Roger Rabbit as the, as the bad guy, Dr. Sludge or whatever? Yes, of course he would. I mean, then we got to replace Bob. What's the detective? Bob Fudgens is actor. Yes, Bob Fudgens. So Bob Fudgens is Ernie Valiant. He's got to be replaced by, wasn't it Bob Hoskins? Also French Stewart. Sorry Griffin, what is the name? Bob Hoskins.

Bob Hoskins, not Bob Fudgens. No, I am sorry about that. You are close. Bob Fudgens is evil Bob Hoskins. So, so you get French Stewart as Dr, Dr. Bad or Dr. Mean, I forget. And then as the rabbit, that's going to be CG. Yeah. I think Tom Kenny will legally have to do his voice. It'll be that guy who did that Gollum. What's his face? What's his name? Yeah, look, you're going to mocap, mocap Andy Serkis to play, to play Roger. That's a funny connection because Peter Jackson is doing the Quattro. So I'm afraid French Stewart, when we catch French in the Quattro, he is going to be in the mix for like 10 years that he cannot be shooting anything else. They are really tying him up with the Quattro. Yeah. But hopefully he'll

be able to make time for the shooting schedule of who framed Roger Rabbit again. Is that the name of the movie? Who framed Roger Rabbit again? Lay off. Who's still framing Roger Rabbit? Featuring the voices of John Travolta and Roseanne Barr as the babies. All right, time to get to the advice. I am currently getting ready to ask my girlfriend of four years to marry me, but a bit of an issue has come up. While talking to her recently, she mentioned that her parents were a bit concerned that I had not yet talked to them concerning my proposal. She threw me for a loop. Is talking to her parents, namely her father, who thinks I'm going to screw up, necessary in this day and age? Or is that tradition that went away in the 50s? That's from Confused in California.

No, it's still very much, I think. Yeah. So I've only ever gotten engaged at one time, but my thought on this is whatever they think is a tradition is the tradition. Yeah, I think you should probably get a read on how traditional they are, which I think is going to help you to light your way here. I don't think that this gesture would ever be... I mean, I do understand there's inherent sexism in the gesture, but I don't think that it's necessarily going to offend anyone doing it. I mean, I think you run a much greater risk of offending people by not doing it. Oh yeah, like Teresa's parents, I was talking with Teresa before I did it and I was like, I want to talk to your parents first. And she was like, they don't

care, don't worry about it. And I was like, yeah, but I do. And it was still a very nice moment, even though it's not like if I had proposed without asking, they would have been super offended or anything. Can you guys tell me... It was just a nice moment for us. I want to hear your stories. I want to hear stories from Justin and I want to hear stories from Travis about how this talk went, because Justin, I know yours was kind of a panic attack. I'm not good at anything that happens in this whole procedure. And I asked my now mother-in-law if she and my father-in-law could meet me at their house on their lunch break, which I love. And I'm like, come on back to the house, let's just talk this through. Because you start out by inconveniencing them. I know,

that's like full panic attack. And I ask them, I say, well, I'd like to, they'd guess, they knew the jig was up. And I am like... They somehow put two and two together? What if you just got them some subs, some subway subs, and they just called and you thought, I just thought this would be a nice thing for us to do together if we had Subway Sub Wednesdays. Would you come back to the house on your lunch break, Teresa? I want to point out all the messages you need to clean up. Listen, I'm in the middle of asking, and they say yes. And then my now father-in-law says, I would like to ask that you would consider maybe holding off on getting married until after she had finished medical school, because I wouldn't want anything to get in

the way of that. And I like, that was three years away. So I like, slap my hand down the tail. I was like, listen. Okay. Back off. I don't, this part of the story. I don't remember that part. I said, back off. I think it's getting fictitious. I think even your father-in-law stood over you. Yeah. Even if your father-in-law was not a nine foot tall, I would say Conan-esque figure, you would still probably not have the gumption, the vim, to pull that maneuver off. No, I just said, like, well, I'll think about it. And then we'll never brought it up again. And then you've got married six months later. Yeah, it's got married six months later. That was my play there. I worked that pretty good. And sent him an invitation to the wedding until the day

before. Yeah, he just didn't bring it up again. So I was like, well, I guess this is cool. I guess we're cool. Now, to be fair, you really did tie Sydney down while she was in med school. Are you kidding me? You burned all her books. You would let her go to class. The crazy thing about his assertion is that I would ever do anything to get away of me making that money. I know. I gotta get paid. Travis was yours. Yours, I imagine, was much smoother. Well, I mean, it was in the fact that, like, we, you know, we took them out to dinner in Dayton. So, like, they didn't have to, like, drive down to Cincinnati or anything. But, like, Can you drive down to Cincinnati on your lunch break? My plan originally was, like,

when Teresa, like, gets up from the table, you know, use the bathroom or something or, like, she goes away to, like, check on whatever. I'll do it. And I told Teresa that at about 10 minutes in, 15 minutes in, she's like, well, I'll be right back when we go to the bathroom. And I stood up with her and, like, walked there and was like, I'm not going to do it so you come back. I can't do this without you there. She was like, oh, okay, cool. So I made her sit at the table while I asked her to. Push your courage to the sticking point, Travis. I didn't at all. I pushed out. I was so freaked out. Travis, I would like to formally request that you start referring to me as King Nuggets. The King of Having Nuggets. That's the full title. The thing is, is let me

hear it once and kind of try it on for size. So here's the thing, King Nuggets. Her dad is, like, a hardcore, like, Air Force guy and has been, like, he's a lifer and he's a very, he likes me. He's a nice guy, but he's a very quiet, reserved guy who usually answers in monosyllabic responses. And, like, the idea of carrying on a conversation about how I was going to marry his, you know, like, be the first person to marry one of his daughters was, like, the most terrifying thing to do without treason. My father-in-law is nine feet tall and his hair is made of fire and he is always riding a horse. My father-in-law could rebuild a car, like, blindfolded in a cave and knows more about being a man than I would ever... Guys, guys, there's only one way to

settle this. We need to get your fathers-in-law to fight each other. Well, my father-in-law is recuperated from knee surgery, so he's gonna... Then it might just be fair. I think my future father-in-law will do very well, like, in the Hunger Games, like, sitting up traps and knowledge of weapons and whatnot, but hand-to-hand, I think that Justin's father-in-law would win. I think it is a... I personally think it is a nice gesture. And again, I do think you run more, especially if the dad already thinks you're kind of whack. Yeah. You are not going to do anything to assuage him of that. Like, not doing it feels pretty excusy from where I'm sitting. And if you have issues, like, it's sexist or, you know, I feel like it's outdated, then I mean, I think it's completely

justified to make it an opportunity for you and your girlfriend to talk to both sets of parents, you know, have a time with her parents, sit down with your parents and say, hey, we're planning this, you know, this is gonna be coming up, because they're both gonna be involved in the wedding, so both sets of parents. Yeah, I agree. I think that you could make a legitimate case for, you know, having both people present if you felt it was a sexist gesture. I think it's nicer to do something, though, to show that you are looking for their approval. Like, getting them some subway subs on their lunch break. Yeah. Or at the very least, like, one of the cards with, like, 10 holes punched in it, so they can go pick out their own sub if they want to. To show you that I am a viable

financial supporter of your progeny. Here's seven out of eight punched on this Quiznos card. Where it goes next is completely up to you. Don't worry about us or our kids. I'm already, I'm not looking for, I think mine when I do have this talk is gonna be very uncomfortable, because I am going to request no visitation. I see. Just from the, just from the jump, from the get-go, legally. You know that you're not, like, adopting her. I just think it gets, it gets, it gets confusing for, you know, she's gonna be like, which family am I a part of? And it's like, I don't, I just don't want, I just don't want her to ever question, you know? Right. And you don't want to have to rely on shaking the no-no can

for the rest of your years. You need to set boundaries for the beginning, right? Now the no-no can, that is a can full of beans that shakes and she gets scared of the sound. You can also do a spray bottle, and when she gets up on the front. This is not sexist, but I am, I'm seeing a raccoon. I'm romantically entangled with a raccoon. I was gonna suggest an invisible fence also, it would be great. She listens to the show, she's not gonna enjoy this part. Sorry. Sorry, baby. Sorry. I love you so much. Let's do a yahoo. Sorry.

Oh man, she's actually sitting 20 feet away. I'm so sorry. She's just gnawing on his furniture to find her. I would eat this pillow. Let's do a yahoo answer. Oh, this one's good. This one is sent in by Lizzy Cross. Thanks, Lizzy. It's by a yahoo answers user, Black Sunday Mold. Who asks, his avatar is poop in a toilet. I do not want to look at that anymore. How to make 1111 wish not come true? So last time during 1111, I made a wish to see my sister. I'm sitting overseas soon.

When I wish for 1111, I usually repeat the wish out loud until 1111 is done. So for a minute I kept saying I wish to see my sister soon, but out of nowhere in the middle of my wishing, I suddenly said I wish I was Latin American. Okay, obviously I don't want to be Latin American. Okay, I obviously don't want to be Latin American. I think my Filipino and Chinese mix is all right with me. I'm not being racist or anything. Would the Latin American wish come true also after that accidentally slipped out? I still kept on saying I wish to see my sister. Please help. Would the Latin American wish come true? I wish to see my sister. I wish to see my sister. I wish I

was Latin American. What the fuck? What a Freudian. I think that this dude needs to open up to the fact that he does in fact wish he was Latin American. Maybe there's something in you that needs to just let that carefree spirit out. Feel the rhythm of the night. Feel the rhythm in your bones, didn't you? If you make a wish at 222, it never, ever, ever will ever come true. That's another one that people don't really know much about. That's a rhyming couplet, actually. I think that whichever one you wished more, I'm not sure about the technical, but I think whichever one you wished more is the one that legally has to come true. I don't think so. I think you can get a fraction of it. You might get like 66.6

repeating percent. I want to see my sister, but I think when you wake up the next morning, you are going to be one third Latin American. I think the thing with that is it's a numbers game where if you say you want to see your sister, I don't know, like 26 times and you say you want to be Latin American once, there's a 1 in 27 chance. Or if we go with the fractional rule, I didn't even consider the horrifying possibility that you do wake up 127th Latin American and then your sister shows up and maybe she's missing a hand. Maybe she forgot who you are or maybe. I mean you have to go find Doc Brown. Now what is 127th Latin American look like? Does that just mean you can pull off white dress shoes? Is that the only change? I want you guys to know that I'm

sitting here dealing with the horrifying reality that I don't know a single thing to say here that isn't just incredibly racist. That's great traffic. We are sitting here. I've accepted it. I've learned it. Well now you've got a nice blend because you've admitted that you're racist without just saying anything funny, which is good because it's sort of like the worst of both. I think the only problem is we're all sitting here trying to think of something funny that applies to every Latin American person. And I think that is actually the dictionary definition of what racism is. So you're saying we need to make it broader and be like you know he's 127th Latin American so he really enjoys America's next top model. Or I think we yeah we explore options that don't make a lick

of goddamn sense at all, which is still racism. You just say literally the first goddamn thing that comes into your head. Yeah yeah basically. Like uh like they uh maybe they they all really like going to the opera. Everybody knows that about everybody. Like they're they're ambivalent towards pancakes. Don't bring that don't bring that pancake passer around here. I offer him pancakes. He passes them right back to me. He says I don't know. Pancakes. I don't know right now about pancakes. A closer closer. I'm a Latin American Canadian. They uh they they took all the jobs from Australia though. Okay yeah right. And gave them to Great Britain. And then just kept passing them around. Yeah. What if they are taking our jobs but then they're giving. They're like the

Robin Hood of jobs. They're hiding them in places we'll never find them. You know that I heard Latin Americans buried like 10,000 jobs in the landfill in New Mexico somewhere. And you have to go find them. And if you're the guy who finds them then you get them all. Which is going to really take a chunk out of your free time. I never see Mark anymore. Yeah he's got he's holding down 10,000 jobs. He found them in the Latin American landfill. Every stump speech. He's really rich but he's so tired. Every political stump speech ever. Some people are trying to work 10,000 jobs just to make a just to make a living. They found them in a secret Latin American landfill. What are we fucking talking about anymore? The secret of America. That's why you that's why Americans are

working longer at hours in their jobs statistically speaking because they're afraid to turn their backs on them. The Latin Americans will come and sweep them away and hide them in a like a burrow or something. They didn't see my desk. Yeah. Hey where's my desk? Well don't look up in that tree. I didn't hide it up there. God damn it Manny. Oh shit. Manny's a fat baby. On a chuckle family. What's that fucking shit called? Yeah chuckle family. My family matters. I don't think it's family matter. Modern warfare. Okay. I got another question. Okay. Sorry if anything we said offended you by the way. Let's lay down that blanket but if it did I don't make any sense. I if my worry is that we like

stumble on a really bad one. We fucking love pancakes. Yeah. They know about that. I hate these gringos using the terminology. I yeah. There's going to be some judicious editing on that portion. Oh golly. It will take hours hours of deliberation and googling. I was listening at home. May have just heard like 10 to 13 minutes of silence. It's great silence. I just have you cut out Justin's whole La Cucaracha rant. That's where it got pretty bad. Oh man. So great loss bit. Great classic loss bit. Launch it into space and maybe somebody will find it some of the margins of civilization. Hey so I've started dating this guy who seems pretty cool but I'm converting to Catholicism which means that premarital sex has to go.

I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be happy about it if he knew. So how long is it going to take him to either leave me or cheat on me or is this something you guys are really willing to put up with if they like you. That's from Gmail. To be fair it says that that guy is not us guys. Okay that guys are really willing to put up with if they like you. Yeah. I don't think you can lay down that blanket statement because there's got to be guys who honor the true love weights. Of course there are. Yeah for certain. Yeah but I don't know your dude. You didn't give us any deets on your dude. Yeah without any sort of deets on your dude it's going to be hard for us to delineate. I think the important thing here is going to be honesty

and forthrightness that you lay it out for him as honestly and directly as you can. I would caution you however and point out that just because you're converting to Catholicism people fuck up on their religions like all the time. You know like that's kind of the whole bit. It's like messing up and messing up and coming back. But we don't mess up and come back. We shouldn't tell anybody to do something less than the best of their ability. No I'm not trying to give you a permission to fail. You should be the best Catholic you can be. Don't get me wrong it will feel so dirty and good because now it's forbidden. Yeah forbidden for it. So it is going to feel it's going to feel better it's going to feel wetter it's

let's but listen rich just listen mouth stuff. You can go right now to extremestrains.com use coupon code middleist and you will find things there that I'm pretty sure do not qualify as intercourse but are going to take you on a journey. They have special attachments extremestrains.com Pope approved. Yeah most of them are post sexual I would say like they're they go beyond our traditional ideas of intercourse. I gotta say there's a whole section in there about knee pits about the back of your knee and like things you can do with it that I had absolutely it is a secret cave of pleasure that and you got two of them. Yeah so I don't think you should set out to to to fail. I'm I'm I'm basically

kidding about that. I do think you should be honest with the guy and I don't think and and again this is just I don't think anybody would say well that's not going to work for me. I mean you're cool at all but I to amend the statement I think it should be true love will wait if that's what you want. He's not going to say flat out no he's going to say no okay that's fine and then y'all are going to be making out later that same afternoon and it's going to be like hey I'm just going to stick it in and then you're going to be like no I fucking I said it Jerry I said no well nobody is dating anyone named Jerry but oh that's fair that's how it's going to play out they're gonna when the lust wave when you're swimming in the ocean of lust

and remember you've just heightened this because you just said no no no this can't happen because of GZ then you um GZ he is going to combust so you got to be vigilant when you do when you do the stuff I was just kidding about mouth stuff by the way that you know it's up to you you I think if it's something you're serious about and like this is important to you then if he doesn't respect that if he's like uh no then maybe he's not that great of a dude I had a um I had a uh youth pastor once in when I was in in my youth appropriately enough and he said people you know you kids ask me all the time you know what's how far is too far you know what what you know what can I still do and I and I tell him

your heavenly father is watching all the time so if you wouldn't do it with Jesus in the room then don't do it and I sat there thinking that's a pretty fucking short list man yeah the list of things I would do if Jesus was in the room or I wouldn't chew with my mouth open if Jesus was in the room yeah I do not how come Griffin died oh he stopped pooping he stopped pooping and he died from it I wouldn't put my elbows on the table like am I gonna talk about frenching like no way excuse me excuse me young Jesus is this cool hey jay man I sang at the top of my lungs in my car am I going to hell now yeah Jesus was watching and judging you the whole time I mean I know I was off key but sorry bro um hey you know if this guy turns out to be much more of a dipshit than we

gave him credit for maybe you'll meet some nice people in your new church that would share your values um and that and that might be a better fit I don't know I don't know this guy again I'm we're flying kind of blind here well and not not to get too preachy uh but there is this one concept that I remember from my youth and it was that idea of being unequally yote and I think that goes both ways you know that if that always be with people that raise you up to the standards you want to be raised up to no matter what that is no matter what standards you're holding yourself to you know what I mean yeah and that goes to the same of like people that ride in and they're like my boyfriend's so lazy he doesn't have a job just sits on the couch all day like that's bad that's

he's bringing you down yeah he's a bad influence on you yeah just um I mean but that raises the question what is my wife doing with me like I don't understand well after a hard day of her like being an adult and being responsible and taking care of things nice just come home and kick back with you she's back with old low-press day thanks scraps that really well I mean she comes home and she's got no one to impress you know she hasn't sat down all day she wants she wants the human equivalent of of a of a of a sumo chair somebody who she wants to put on her sweat pants yeah now you're like a papa's on yeah in that respect now travis who is she doesn't have to impress it's you no and then who is that again I'll be you king nugget thank you thank you

it's king nuggets yeah king nugget is adorable or sounds like his honorable and most venerable nugs king nugget sounds like who mayor mccheese had to overthrow could steal democracy in redone land my leash there's been an uprising the fried kids are revolting upturn the vats of honey mustard take my child mcrib and get him out of here where's kibbe safety return only when there is calm even then momentarily bring me the head of grimace no my lord we don't know where the head starts just kind of slopes having a hard time figuring this out just find a thick part of the gradient

someone bring someone bring me bring me lord had just a mcpizza he's been gone from our kingdom you special heater you served me well these many years I must send you away to toggle their safety my leash here comes kid vid the king slayer he's riding wheels like a beautiful chariot the kids club always pays their debts oh christ oh the kids club does always pay their debts it is it is accurate you know speaking of debts we have our own pay so you need debts we gotta go the money the agrif who is this message for uh this particular message is for kira thompson it's uh

it's from lance and georgia low who wish kira thompson a happy belated birthday to their mls holding max fund bumper sticker having sourbrought and making all-around fantastic friend like mobim bam kira helps people resolve the pressing issues in their lives as a librarian that mostly involves directing homeless people to the bathrooms and helping children log onto computers so they can enjoy porn a noble calling kira the coolest person ever that sounds like a pretty cool gig yeah uh travis what about our what is wait what is an mls you guys it's uh your mat your your master's in litter library sciences yep that's what i thought thank you that might be right i think that is in that soccer travis who's the other

message for oh it's for lori yoko yama and it's from jonah yoko yama and those are good names yeah right and didn't i do a great job pronouncing them good really good good um well the thing is is like i've met lori and jonah they came to see me in complete works and uh lori made some of the most amazing cupcakes i've ever had in my entire life oh are they the are they the i had cookies once i think the people who bought cookies this since it's well okay sweetie good job have you guys heard of cookies they're like flat cupcakes they're really yummy uh they're like crackers but like sugar like sugar crackers mm-hmm anyway so jenna says happy 120 lori maker of literally the most awesome cupcakes travis magura has ever eaten confirmed happy anniversary eight years and i love

you more all the time thanks for being so supremely awesome and wonderful i'm lucky to have you in my life and then jonah has informed us here to make fart sound so there i'm not gonna there's no way eager to please there is absolutely no way happy to be happy to be here i'm ever going to i did it with my knee it's better than Beverly Hills two off with three they probably quite literally are uh i also want to talk to you guys we mentioned them earlier but uh extreme restraints dot com is uh is a site where you can buy all your adult toys for adults only um we have this coupon code middleist uh and it does two things for you one it saves you 20 on all your adult purchases which is which is rad but more importantly it puts your purchase on a big list of purchases

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shades dot com go check them out they're a lot of fun they like the show and and we like them we've done we've done a lot of promotions for them i think they are our leading sponsor which literally makes me so happy yeah every time um so so they support us go support them even if you listen to to these bits you're like oh that's not for me go check it out because it probably is for you there probably is something for you there extremer shades dot com hey when you do find something make sure that you go back and write a product review of it that'll make them real happy yeah yeah they'll like how about a yahoo answer i'm wanting one of those so bad this one was sent in by seth condon thanks seth it's by yahoo answers user oh it's just a colon okay easy enough

yeah is it a picture of a colon um because no that sounds more like yahoo answers uh colon i think that emoticon is like you got the eyes but the mouth is so shut that's horrifying they ask what pokemon should we name our baby after me and my husband are so excited for a new baby we really love the first 151 pokemon are planning to name her him after a pokemon we have some preliminary names picked out but are having a tough time deciding what do you guys think of these names uh and then they listen pokemon names including cyduck and cat or ps and raichu is ghastly in there eckens ghastly ghastly ghastly is not among them um i appreciate these people's attempt to keep it og by not introducing the other ones because i feel like

they really lost their shit um for the naming conventions for you know 152 on yeah so we're keeping a ridge we're keeping gin one red blue or leaf green fire red okay so my my vote goes to slow bro okay is there any particular reason well i feel like you're setting that kid up to fucking fail well i thought we were already planning on that i thought that was already a oh i see you're leading into it yeah i'm just going with it okay um i think um my my choice would have to be for um stunky stunky the pokemon stunky is stunky a pokemon yeah and it it looks exactly like it sounds so i actually okay i'm gonna pick a real one because i don't want to just and i don't want to sell i don't i do not want to put you on blast but that

is definitely not an original pokedex okay i i'm sorry how about i go with uh i'll go with one from the original one who do you want and go with um spinner rack that'll be good yeah that's good spinner rack is yeah because your child's gonna be an evil mage so griffin is spinner of course not sorry why because it's in the second it's in the gold silver crystal generation just and you know this obviously you know this what about i feel like you're just doing this to piss me off now i'll keep check um okay i'm gonna have to go with can i use japanese names i think you have to okay then i'm gonna go with nido queen okay that's not a japanese name that's a real sorry griffin what that's what it was called

okay you make me so fucking angry all i want out of you is a straight answer fushigi bona okay um fushigi fushigi bona is venus sore in japan uh i like that way way better i'm gonna go with mr mom because it's good you're set you you are saying a lot about that kid right from the jump hey by the way uh there are i'm gonna say i didn't count them but i'll say about 25 answers to this and all of them uh are composed of pokemon names and not please for uh not doing this thing that not doing this terrible terrible thing to a human being not cries for mercy please to the governor to spare this child here's the thing but this is what blows my mind whenever we stumble upon the yahoos that are like you know i want to name my kid after harry potter people

like there are real ass regular normal names somewhere in the poke you know verse yeah sure like charizard no name your kid i'm saying name your kid fucking ash name him brock name are misty like don't don't why would you pick why would you say like no those are real bullshit names i'm going with pikachu like fuck you everybody wants to be the person that does the thing that no one else has done before and i think that you have i think if you name your kid uh you know pony top i think you're probably in the clear as far as that is concerned um let's be honest though i mean our worry is that you you know this kid will become a social outcast because he's named after a god damn pokemon but consider this kid's parents the dais casts i mean i don't think that

that's the guy's gonna be the head of the lacrosse team no and he's gonna feel there's gonna be a lot of um psychological issues uh you know vis-a-vis having 150 siblings yeah because they gotta pop them all out right they got they got a birth of mom got a birth of mom i gotta say though i i did just picture like the idea of this child growing up to just be an incredibly successful lawyer i think you mean evolving into an evolving into a successful lawyer and someone just be like now uh geodude donson attorney of law are there criminals out there affecting you don't worry i'll catch them all professional football player charizard jones oh i got charizard jones on my fantasy team that would be great actually that would actually be the

best uh um wiggly tough peterson i find you guilty a four counts of patricine you killed your parents resurrected them and then killed them again what a terrible crime but who can blame you you're off scot-free vote for me maychamp smith president maychamp what have you done you have run our country into the ground are you really better off than you were four years ago when president budget oh what's elected can we have a new weekly segment on the show called justin tries to pronounce pokemon names i did great i should have gone with butter free yeah that's my that's my bad or you know i could have gone i should have gone with um fluff fluffy is that that's pronounced marie marie is a pretty good name that would be a great pick for them

doctor be drill murphy ob gyn yeah let me get let me get up in there much like a drill would do on a b's hand can we move on let's uh i have a question here hey brothers i've been a tattoo artist for seven years and one of the hardest parts of my job is gently informing potential clients that getting their girlfriend or boyfriend's name tattooed on them is a terrible idea can you help me come up with some good ways to let them know they're being dumb that's from bringing the pain in main i have an idea okay you know when you go to tattoo parlor or for those of you that have never been to a tattoo parlor they have books up front that is a catalog of the artist's work so that you can be like oh i really like this idea and i like this aesthetic and there's always

a section where it's cover-ups what if you had a book that was just cover-ups where someone got a boyfriend or girlfriend's name tattooed and then got it covered up by something yeah have them go ahead and pick out which cover-up yeah and make that part of the deal where like they got a sign of contract that says they'll come back to you it's like a tattoo prenup i like that yes yeah though you got a prepay for your cover-up uh so you get like jennifer tattooed on you with the option of if it doesn't work out you get it augmented to say whatever happened to jennifer gray you get it augmented to benefit because you were just such a huge fan of bennett yeah jennifer garner uh now how do you cover up your benefit tattoo that falls apart because i'd got that i would like

well no in that scenario you're covered because he went from from lopesta garner i'm saying as long as he keeps seeing jennifer as you are you are in the clear can i i i gotta say and maybe there's a sort of different ethics that i'm not aware of in the tattooing biz but i gotta say man just just fucking do the tattoo i mean the the only knowledge that you could be imparting to them is that it is permanent and like if they are not aware of that then you don't think there's a certain amount of like inherent responsibility like it's different from like going to get in a haircut because you know someone said like dye my hair and shave my basketball number into my face or something and you're like okay cool and then you that will grow out and i'll go away but if someone

comes into you and says i want this terrible idea for a tattoo i don't want to live in a tattoo in any state but it's i want to get a stupid tattoo that i should be allowed to they have to practice a regiment of stern non malfeasance they they they adhere to the hippocratic oath just like every other medical professional and that that means they can't they can't you know get put like a race car with uh you know miley cyrus's face on it on somebody's body as a joke or maybe for serious are you saying that they can't do that instead of what the person asked for or can you not just say i don't think that's a good idea or is that like well fuck you like i think they can turn people away right you i mean i'm sure you can turn anyone's ever like gotten a tattoo at

gunpoint i think no but they can turn people away from being drunk i think that this is along the same lines you say you're drunk you're drunk get out of here i'll make you a deal if you still want this in a year i'll do it for you but then they're just gonna go to the to like uh you blacklist them you got blacklist needles or whatever the bad tattoo parlor is you know they're gonna get an alleyway tattoo from a person who doesn't know what they're doing and then they're serious they don't they don't give a shit about the hippocratic oath in the alley you can give them a tattoo of blood oh that's a good idea trav i like that get him a tattoo of what a blood i don't just hurt a lot more because there's no ink but you can by doing the um you know you get a tattoo of with no ink

and it'll just stitch your blood in there it's not permanent it will heal but maybe see how that so are we just talking about cutting a thing into you and then it's a scar yeah i mean yes yes i know so last year when i reached into the oven to get a pizza out and i burned my forearm on the uh on the rack uh that was not that was i that was just me getting a bitch in blood tattoo that was a that was a pizza brand okay it's different you got branded by your loving pizza oh shit guys i just remember i got some pizza i uh it's right across my wrist it looks like i tried to shuffle myself off this mortal coil and really what happened was that i had uh i had a tombstone in there and i just really couldn't wait to get at it is tombstone i had a tombstone pizza from

1997 that i've been saving you know every pizza has a story but a girlfriend's pizza has a legend you understand that tombstone pizza was a pizza company this was not a a promotional pizza for the movie tombstone i feel like it was like all the pepperonis shaped like white art okay and like that holiday cheese this has gotten out of control it yeah well yeah usually how it shakes out um hey i recently found out two of my cousins started following me on twitter this wouldn't be an issue except i'm 30 and they're 14 and 11 it's not like i'm shoveling hate and filth in my tweets but i'm a grown-ass lady woman with a grown-ass lady woman thoughts and opinions what should i do be uncool and block them or censor myself in hopes i don't corrupt young minds

that's from not sure what to do in chicago this is great this is we all had to deal with this yes um i feel like twitter is the the the truest form of who you are that's not true just i say fuck a bunch on twitter and my our fairly religious cousins listen or follow the follow the tweets i say and i can't help but feel you just got a stomach the disappointment every time you say anything yeah you know what is funny about that griffin i had that problem too but i recently checked in and the situation had resolved itself what was they stopped following they did unfollow the kid that is really too bad i have been unfollowed uh and i can't i don't think i can follow a 15 year old without it being mutual i had to unfollow them reciprocally

reciprocably yeah reciprocably got it yeah got it in one got it one take one take j they call me you know i had this experience yesterday where uh this uh i was at work and this 15 year old said hey i really like your show and me thinking it was one of the many plays that i have worked on i said oh which one and she said my brother my brother and me and my response was oh oh fuck sorry sorry for saying fuck just then too you should go you should wait can you leave you gotta find you gotta what you gotta do is find the balance it works for you so that you can sleep at night for instance i stopped saying the c word on twitter that's good that was a good that was a good place to start i do have a secret special other twitter feed

where i really just let it let it all hang out see because every time griffin censors the word that word doesn't go away oh no we gotta put it somewhere i i get a backlog of words i can't keep carving them into my body i've gotta i gotta find a healthier uh venue for them and uh you mean giving yourself a tattoo of blood i yeah yeah yeah yeah my body is just covered in blood tattoos of the c word we didn't make that concept up i want to make that clear it was in uh it was in one of the one of pen and teller books yeah i think it was the travel book yeah that's called the reed song so this y'all who answers send it by nicole b thompson thanks nicole it's by yahoo answers user dina who asks what's 50 shades of gray about a reading teacher's favorite book in

my school is 50 shades of gray and i heard it's like porn but in words can someone tell me what happens in the book yeah i'll try to wrap it up for you see there's a rich businessman whose name is christian gray have you read the book no okay i'm it's a young lady named uh let's say darlene okay so christian gray is rich darlene i'm gonna fuck you so good that's not what he says he says darlene i'm going to spank you and darlene's like oh christopher please spank me well at first i think she's more i think she's like i don't know if it's gonna yeah at first she's she's like you're right at first she's like i don't know if i like to get i don't know i don't want to get red and then christian's like is she a ghost she is a ghost in the book she's a ghost

so christian guy's like well i'm sorry darlene but i'm gonna try spanking you anyway so christian is melting yes i'm trying to follow along yeah keep up christian is melting darlene is a ghost he takes her over and he said you're ready for the spike spike spike wait i'm confused the spike confusion is coming into town i'm trying to think of something better so christian gray is the paul bearer yes so christian gray who you made up better as undertaker manager paul bearer holy it's time to spank you uh-huh it's not gonna hank her in for spanking he's also selling children's cereal i'm gonna give it to you so good and darlene's like

i still don't know but then quack gives her the first his hand actually passes through her her spectral form yeah and that gives him he loves it gives him a butt now did he buy his riding crop on extreme machines dot com you bet even use the coupon go mentalist cross corrosion he spanks her and that's like the next 200 pages uh-huh just the one or is it just one spank that just reverberates through her body and then she describes it in in in much detail i felt i felt my ectoplasm shudder through my body it was as though he were spanking my very soul as his melting paul bearer-esque hand slips through i expect i felt myself begin to slimer and then i and then i slimmered and slimmered and slimmered and there's

slimmered and slimmered over and over again and then ernie hudson showed up and sent me back yeah and made me watch remember the hills to walla three and said watch this scene i'm in it's real good you're gonna love this i'm sure in the second book now you've moved on to the second oh i'm sorry i'm sorry can we i i think that here's an opportunity for us if we could do if we could somehow create what 50 shades of gray has done to books by which i mean ruined them forever i think we have a great uh chance to really seize the podcast market share here yeah if we could ruin podcasts like we haven't done that already well we could do like i don't know how we could be more erotic than we're already being that's a good point we could have a secret alternate

podcast stream where we where we talk about uh just like sex stuff and like really i guess that's this never mind thanks for listening i mean it's basically this is basically the 50 shades of gray just people don't like it as much maybe we need to do an alternate podcast where we don't do any of that and it's appropriate for our cousins to listen to and that will make this one seem more like shades of gray in comparison that's good and we'll just call that one like green i uh i have some um some hit lines for 50 shades of gray if you guys just want to try these on okay we could try to put these in the podcast oh good this is gonna be okay i'd like to buy that live he whispers darkly geez i'm a quivering moist mess and he hasn't even touched me i squirm in my seat and have

me do dark glare fuck the muscles inside the deepest darkest part of me clenching the most delicious fashion where is it not dark in your body there is no light go on travis suck me baby his thumb presses on my tongue and my mouth closes around him sucking wildly holy fuck this is wrong but holy hell is it erotic this is the dirtiest this is we have done a podcast where we talked about eating celebrity poop and fucking fouls and this is the grossest thing i've ever read uh i don't like that holy fuck is a standalone sentence i holy fuck period do one more oh my i didn't think it would feel like this didn't know it could feel as good as this my thoughts are scattering like ectoplasm there's only sensation only him only me on please i stiffen

this is bad this is bad and i want to say that this is proof that he is melting because the next one is christian follows with two sharp thrusts and he freezes pouring himself into me as he finds his release where'd you go ah fuck my insides practically contort with potent needy liquid desire guys it's turning diarrhea so she basically is guys i was it's turning from from being a goof to like being genuinely erotic we need to be careful we're walking on thin thin sexy eyes i was uh i was at books a million uh last weekend and i was checking out and the uh the woman in front of me is buying one book and as the cashier is putting it in the bag he says you know a lot of people are reading that 50 shades of gray just like that and i think this

dude legit did not know what the book is oh or maybe he's just putting her on blast you think he's won over spot i don't know although they are a shameless they are a shameless bunch the the the fans of this but i was sat on an airplane while a woman read it right next to me she was reading it she was reading about people just getting slam jammed and ram jammed and she was she was thwibbing it right there she was just flicking her beans going down she was just thwibbing thwibbing her acorn for all to see oh man 50 shades of black all right well nobody listened let's listen to this podcast anymore i say we put up put it let's we can reveal our fucking pin numbers and all of our internet pastors right now and we would be a okay here's

where i buried all the jobs no one's gonna find them because no one's listening uh not that anyone's listening but this has been my brother my brother meets a comedy podcast we put out every monday if you're looking for something else to listen to on mondays uh i put out another show called satellite dish with my wife sydney it's a podcast about tv's you can find that on itunes and it comes out mondays it's part of what i'm calling the macaroy fun squad monday and i even frequently sorry i infrequently produce a podcast called in case of emergency uh so you should check that out but more importantly if you're in the sincernati area or really anywhere around us uh coming up in october i'm going to be in a steampunk version of william shakespeare's titus andronicus at the

sincernati shakespeare company um so come down and check it out it's going to be awesome chavis plays a robot you can follow me on how about i don't have a podcaster show but i'm on twitter it's griffin macaroy on twitter and i um i'm so close to 10 000 followers and i want to be for me that is the that is the celebrity hump once you get in five digits you are just you're there you've made it um so this is what i've learned from from the twitter follow count griffin what's up justin is everybody's favorite because the most and then you are the second favorite yeah because you have the second most and then the show itself yeah everyone's third favorite yeah and and coming up last it's me so there are 2000 people that like the show

but not me well not big on travis there's to be not big travis fans to be fair your tweets are um i'd say they leave a little bit to be decided let's read let's go let's go through the list let's see i ate a big ham this morning and i've never said that okay watching avatar the last airbender again i just can't get enough mayonnaise i did test mayonnaise sir uh but but uh thank you to people who uh have downloaded the show subscribe to my tunes and reviewed it that really means a lot and helps to boost us up there so if you're looking for a way to say thank you um that that would be a great way to do it say it with roses travis how many gina davis retweets have you done in the past all of them following travis is like following gina davis twice

well that's because they have you ever seen janet and gina davis i'm right behind you retweet her tweet and then you tweet at her good one gina you did it again gene i want to thank john rogerick and the long winters for the use of our theme song instead of putting the days to bed uh it was john rogerick's birthday last week happy belated birthday john rogerick i only know that because people talked about it on twitter i'm not like a stalker or anything like that but um oh god i just want to smell his hair oh cool cool uh we got t-shirts and stuff maxfunstore.com if you want that and there's other shows uh on the maximum fun network you can find them all at maximumfund.org they're all great and we haven't mentioned in a while but

we got a couple people asking this week um if you are interested in doing a jumbo tron or you have a personal message or a business message or anything like that just go to maximumfund.org forward slash jumbo tron and all the information is there oh oh oh before i forget we've had a lot of people asking about this too uh if you'd like the first uh 30 or so episodes of the show that are not on the maximum fun network you can find all those at mbmbam.libson.com uh i just click through the archives there uh and on the right side you can see all the all the years we've been doing the show um the first one is in is in april of 2010 you can see the hit art that i made for it before justin russo did it and it's just a picture of the three of us on mars near an ocean and we

all have mustaches and it's not very good art but it has a special place in my heart but that was back when we were using a theme song from uh let's call him a very litigious swedish pop group yeah so you can go back to all the old episodes there and are there for your enjoyment thanks for the thanks for the years thanks for being with us and enjoying us this is episode 120 we're gonna be back next week with that seems like a lot that seems like a pretty big seems like we're coming to the end at what point yeah when do we get to stop never it is my pledge to the listeners of this podcast that we will never stop doing it until one of us dies how's that that seems and then there'll be a very touching slideshow or or until we stop making money off of it because yeah until

we stop making money off it that's really gonna be sweet money well drives up we're gonna dip i think that there's always going to be a market though for people to pay us to make fun of uh george lopez for them take care of my like work my brother my brother made so you don't have to so anyway in closing um griffin's gonna ask us one more question this final yahoo was sent in by gray thanks gray it's by yahoo answers user monolithic vulgarity who asks does anyone have a recording of a duck having an orgasm i am just a macaroon i'm travis macaroon i am uh ernie hudson this has been my brother my brother i mean kiss your dad just go down the lips keep your heart three stacks keep your heart

hey keep your heart three stacks keep your heart man these girls are smart three stacks these girls smart play your part