My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 178: Freedom to Burger Out

Episode Date: December 2, 2013

We know we're a bit late in telling you this, but the McElroy brothers are here for all your turkey-cooking advice needs. Step one: Visualize the turkey. See it in your mind's eye. Taste it with your mind-mouth. Suggested talking points: Homeland Turkey, PlayStation Buttslammer, Hair-o, Drive-Thru Limits, Mayoral Powers, Cool Guy Voice, Urinal Mysteries

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? It's a new place, and the girls, do you want it? Just say, hey, I want it. Just say, hey, I want it. Welcome to my brother, my brother, me, and advice show for the modern era. We are here. During the Thanksgiving holiday, we repurposed our program to serve as basically just a turkey advice show. We worked in conjunction with Butterball,

sort of their podcasting arc. Who fired their entire customer service department, which I thought not only goes against the holiday spirit, it kind of goes against the whole Butterball ethos. I'll say this, you know, as I was going through the questions, you know what I wasn't expecting? What? So many questions about fucking the turkey. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of those, a lot of those are people trying to get like a rise out of, trying to like goof the goofsters. Yeah, but I would say that 10% of them were really graphically detailed. Sure. Well, they were like, where do I put it in? And it's like, I don't know, how about the giant cavity, you stupid idiot? Like you're clearly just fucking

with us at this point. And the turkey. Since we got laid off from Butterball, we have a lot of turkey advice build up. Let's go around introduce ourselves and just say how we cooked our turkeys this year. My name is Justin McRoy. I'm the oldest brother on this program. This year I went with a nice sun dried turkey. It's a little dicey to get the procedure exactly right. You got to leave it in the sun and then you'll wait. For how long? Enough. You'll know. Until the little thing pops. Until the little thing pops out. It usually takes about a day. The belly button. And your day is not nearly long enough. You're not gonna want to eat it. That's the other thing.

My name is Travis McRoy. I'm the middleest brother and I sat on it. You incubated it. I incubated it for 16 days. My name is Griffin McRoy. And also that turkey ended up tasting a farts. Yeah, I bet. You just really wanted to see farts debated. Farts, farts, farts. You guys haven't heard because this is our third stab at trying to start the show, but Travis has tried to incorporate farts into each attempt. Well, my offer that our intro should just be us farting into the microphones for three minutes Yeah, it's kind of a dry week. So that might impress upon the rest of the episode.

My name is Griffin McRoy and I just tormented a live turkey for like a year. I built a dungeon, a turkey dungeon, and then I would go in there every day around noon. You got to have it be at like a regular time so the turkey knows that it's common. And then I just just terrorized it and then eventually it based it in its own terror. And that is how you get a good Brian on a turkey. You can really taste the begrudging acceptance that his turkey wife has probably remarried and moved on with her life. That really comes through in the meat. And then I teach him to love me. And then I get him to hunt, kill,

and cook other turkeys. Homeland season four, catching on, Blu-ray and DVD at the full collection. Turkey Claire Danes is great. She is just all over the place. Very dynamic performance. So what you're saying that I'm saying I recreated Homeland season four because there's no way they're going to make it there without my help. Only it's all turkeys. I found a turkey that looks a lot like Claire Danes. I found a turkey that looks a lot like Mandy Patinkin. That was not as hard as you think it would be. And then I shoot the show in my backyard.

And the turkey is turned against, is weaponized against other turkeys. He's an Uncle Tom, he's an Uncle Tom turkey. Can you not like, did you not follow along? I know, I guess it is kind of a confusing show, but When did you find time to eat? I didn't, I guess. That's a life of a big Hollywood producer, you know. So you just blew right past Thanksgiving and the turkeys were spared because of your involvement in their, in their creative process? Well, I mean, we got to take them at least to sweeps.

And then we'll see if we can get like season five, season six. This is, this is how this fucking business works, Travis. Okay. You know, I'm new to it. I didn't know there was so much starvation involved in turkey eating. I've been looking at a lot of pictures of turkeys in the build up to this bit, this classic, sure to be classic bit. And some of the cardamom that distinguishes turkeys is that they are the only animal that looks delicious in their natural form. I don't think that's true at all. Like if you know, if you look at it, if you look at a picture of a turkey, right?

If you just say, I'm going to look at a turkey today. And then you go to like a Google image search and just search for turkey and tell me if they don't look like they are just flaunting the meat. Like I actually think they look like they have ball bag heads with ball bags underneath their heads. And then their whole body, it's kind of a ball bag. Kind of a overlapping series of scrote. Some of the animals you have to work to imagine how you might eat them. And I feel like the turkey really has it on display.

Like check it out. You know where you're going to eat me. But its head looks like a penis. Obviously the head is like clearly labeled not for eating though. This is what I'm saying. It's convenient. It's like a pull tab. You know, like definitely don't eat this is obvious. You don't want to eat this and the tail looks like a beautiful fan. So you don't want to eat that obs. But then the rest of it just looks delicious.

Like it's obviously you want to eat it. I can't go here with you juice. Oh man, I love turkey. How about a question? Yeah, here's a question. Turkey. Okay, how about another one? Now let me rephrase that as a question. Okay, it's better.

That's a little bit better. Um, I'm just scrolling through all of the turkey questions. And beating it to some that aren't. No, I'm not sir, sir. Gift giving season is here. And in an effort to find some sweet deals, I came across some good quality refurbished electronics. Is it socially acceptable to give somebody a refurbished item?

Or would I be committing a social taboo of the highest order? And that's from Joey. I'm huge into refurbished. That's great because you're keeping something out of a landfill. You know, you're not creating more waste. Captain Planet. I'm, I've been thinking about this question for a bit now. And, um, as somebody who used to work at GameStop,

I actually am a lot more hesitant about this prospect because I have some fucking horror stories that would turn your hair white. About refurbished electronics. About refurbished electronics. Do you know, let's play a quick guessing game of all the PlayStation portables. Sony's classic handheld gaming device

that were turned into our store for trade-in credit. How many were chalk-loaded with the butt slamminest porn you've ever dreamt of? Not enough. Did you say a hundred percent? Congratulations. There were certain, there were certain devices that was just like, obviously anything with any sort of hard drive

that you can download multimedia content to that also had a screen on it. It, people turn it into like the PlayStation butt slam. 3,000 are mad at it. But Griffin, so your concern, because when you refurbish it, you also reformat it, right? You're not handing it back to- Yeah, but there's a to reformat it, to reformat it.

I had to press the button, right, and scroll to the thing in the menu. And guess what? It always, like before I could get to that old user interface, I saw a fucking butt with a man's like whole head in it. Like- So your concern would be that you would be re-gifting someone a refurbished device

that at some point someone had used to bait it. Haunted by the ghost of baiting. What if the sales associate had not been as diligent as I was? Guys, like there was this one time this dude came in and he handed in his PlayStation poor bike. I like to trade this in. I was like, I can't wait to see what's on this shit. And he actually said, make sure you,

make sure you check out some of the stuff I got in there. I think you're really gonna like it. He actually told me that. And it was, I'm like, it was just, just asses for days. It was gigabytes of gigabytes of gigabytes. I wish I could have been in the car with somebody who had just dropped off a porn loaded PlayStation because they got to be having that discussion in their head.

Like, no, I've formatted it. Didn't I? Did I? Better, better point is then they reach over and they pick up the other PSP they have. And they're like, wait, wait, wait, none of my porn's on you. Oh no.

This is my Crash Bandicoot one. I turned in the wrong one. Damn it. God damn it. I haven't stepped all over my funny bit. Sorry, go ahead, Justin. I've been waiting to do this funny bit while you guys talked about your stuff.

Do it. I haven't stepped all over. He said, no, I got a different bit I'm gonna do. It was very rude. Can you give me, can you give me a basic rundown of what your bit would have been? You want me, wait, you want me to recap my bit for you? Well, now I feel bad when I feel like I'll always wonder.

Last time. Yeah, I feel bad. I feel bad too because I feel like I contributed to the bit chomping. And so I need to know if the guilt is justified if your bit was actually any good or not. Okay, so basically what was going to happen was that the guy in the fictional car was going to be like,

I didn't, I must have deleted it. And then he was going to be like, I'm sure I did. And then he would slowly have the realization. You know what the bit was about? It was about human foibles. So it really would have cast a light, a very human light. Something everybody could relate to. Travis is exoterated.

It'd be like, I feel like everybody sort of got where the bit was going from the start of it. That's the problem though. Why do you think we're so chock full of bits that we can afford to just like leapfrog bit to bit and not just like cling to everyone for dear life? This is episode 178 or something. But listeners are super busy.

And if we can deliver unto them a bit in like five seconds and then they can fill out the other like solid 25 seconds of material in their own minds while we like swing from vine to vine, like joke Tarzan, like I don't think there's any problem with that. Guys, guys, refurbished bits. Okay. This is how we keep it going for another 178 episodes.

Right? So let's bring back, we can bring back Torsi. We can bring back, you know, like ghosts. That's always a good refurbished bit. Yeah. This is shit we already do, Travis. This isn't like, oh, let's talk about ghosts and horses a bunch. Like that's it.

That's our show. We are doing that. We've been refurbishing bits. Like since I have the dozens of episodes. What about refurbished furbies? Refurbies. Refurbies? I don't have a rest of that.

I just think that that's a really funny word. Do you guys know that furbies are still like regularly popping off? And I feel like furbies are only distinguished by their, you know, you remember there was that one Christmas where, where forget about it. Like you had to get it. If you didn't have a Furby under the tree, you should leave your parent card.

I got, I got Harrow. Is that Harrow? What's that? Harrow is the off-brand Furby. For parents that maybe had kind of a tough year. That was the shag line. Hey. Do you have a tough year?

Because they, because they understand. No, it's okay. It done good enough. Yay. This is what Harrow would say. He would say things like, he can't tell the difference. And really the other parent's just paying for a brand name.

Listen, I'm a smart buy. Things like that. Just to make you like. I remember that Harrow. You named him Jim Belushi, didn't you? I named him Jim Belushi. And one day he disappeared. And next thing I know he's,

so long as he'd be, he had his own job. Origins. I, I was of course, suggesting you named him after the second hand Belushi, but you are instead suggesting that you were gifted Jim Belushi, the actor, and you gave him the start. You have to, you have to be careful.

You can't get him wet. You can't feed him after midnight, or else he's going to start his own shitty TV show. That was definitely, definitely on Harrow's instruction. And for Christ's sake, don't let him near a harmonica. That'll be your whole day. How about a Yahoo Griffin? Okay.

Coffee break, okay. This Yahoo is sent in by Ashley Bergart. Thanks Ashley. It's by Yahoo Answers user Big C who asks, should there be limits set for how much can be ordered at fast food drive-thrus? It seems like I am always getting behind some van that is ordering like 10 combos.

I don't think this should be allowed. People with huge orders should be denied drive-thru service and made to place orders inside. It is unfair to those of us using the drive-thru for its intended purpose to get our food quickly. I see a drive-thru as kind of like a supermarket express lane. Order limits should be set for it to keep its line steady moving. Sometimes I read questions on this show

just because they make a lot of fucking sense. Yeah. This guy's got some fucking good ideas. I don't, okay. I have a problem with the premise of his question though, because I don't think anyone is going to go inside Arby's because they want to soak it in. I have to prolong this experience.

In this day and age of drive-thru convenience, who eats in the restaurant? Our local Arby's and Wendy's has a lot of seating in it, and it is so confusing to me. The idea that you would say, I know where I want to eat, inside Arby's. I want to go into Arby's and sit in there. And listen, you can make the argument and say like,

well, maybe you have time to kill before a flight or before you have to be somewhere and you're not from around there. Okay, great. Get the food and go to a park. Get the food and go literally in the house. Oh, shut, shut your trap. Go get your food and go to a park.

Like you have literally- You mean the guy eating Arby's in the park? Yeah. That's a good look. A guy at Arby's has- Ooh, get your Arby's and go to a Wendy's. When you go to Arby's, Arby's tagline is, hey, you got five minutes?

Because you have five minutes that you need to refill the old food tank as fast as you possibly can because you have plans in seven minutes. Nobody goes to Arby's and is like, what is the best possible venue that I can eat this food in? Can I get seconds on these onion dip brews? Because I am just enjoying the ambience. This is not a classism.

Like, I'm not saying like- We do seem to hate on Arby's a lot, though. I know. It's always- Have you guys noticed how it's always Arby's? Is Arby's just the funniest? I think Arby's is a funny name, but also like I'll go to an Arby's,

so I don't feel bad about it. Like I went to Arby's two days ago to get some grub. I get it. Good mood food, mighty minis. They're delicious and new, but- Tell me more. Okay, so they got two little things. They're on Hawaiian buns and they're two little

sandwiches with roast beef, and they have crispy ends on them, and then some like a- I don't know. It's like a flavor sauce. So they're like slammers. Slammers with roast beef. They're like little slammers. But it's like little-

What kind of meat? Oh, roast beef. Roasted beef. You dumb fucking- It's really helping us gonna be pulled pork, because I associate pulled pork with the Hawaiian rolls. Interesting. No, no, no.

It's a roasted beef. Anyway, I just don't- If you have- The only context I can see is, if you have kids, and you're like, I cannot be in a car with these children anymore, like I have to put them in a place where I can get them out of my field of view.

I get that. I understand that. But if you're just by yourself, you have to know how much you're gonna upset other people who'll see you. What if I'm driving through the drive-through, and I am driving past the window, and I see a man doing a sudoku and eating a mighty mini

out of the corner of my eye, and we make eye contact? That's my entire day. You know, you're forgetting. I was thinking about that guy. You're forgetting. Some of these places have free Wi-Fi. Whenever I drive past the McDonald's, it is illuminated by so many MacBook Air screens

of people, you know, getting some files. You're also forgetting McDonald's birthday parties. That is true. You play the game, or you put the straw up to your nose, and you try and drop it, and drop it in a cup. You get in the play place for a little while, get a good static buildup. Was it a common thing that the McDonald's birthday parties

making games out of like- McDonald's shit? Oh yeah, like Depression-era children, like fashion and faxing games out of whatever was available. There was one where you had to stack as many filet of fish boxes on top. I remember that. We have video of that, sure.

I feel like that might not have been a McDonald's policy. That might have just been dad being like, oh, this birthday's shitty. All right, give me those filet of fish boxes. Here's the game, kids. Stack them. I don't know what you're talking about. That was the best birthday that I've ever had in my life.

Man, there are some people in Yahoo Answers that are just fucking furious about this idea. What do they have to say? No! A lot of those. This is a free country. That would be taking away rights. What right?

Excuse me, pardon me. What legal right does that take away? Is that freedom of expression? Is that right to bear arms? Is that right to refuse army quarter? Freedom to burger out. That would be taking away rights. I don't care if you're buying 1,000 cheeseburgers.

You don't care? You don't care if I buy 1,000 cheeseburgers? Let me read the source because the source is social studies. What's up now? This person talks a big game, but I think if they were at Arby's, they have five and a half minutes to get this shit from pulling into the drive-thru to consuming every last calorie.

And then someone in front of them is like, hi, I need one, two, three, four, five, 1,000 cheeseburgers, please. And they're like, well, that's going to take us a couple of days. Because you don't sell cheeseburgers. The person behind them is like, well, this isn't ideal, but I don't want to infringe on this person's rights because I learned not to in social studies.

Can I just say I have a bigger problem when I'm in the fast food line and it is not the size of the order, but it's the time to take when they order the order. I got stuff behind a woman at Raleigh's, which already I wasn't super proud of myself, but she went through like 10 different items asking what came on it and like wanting a breakdown

of the ingredient list and like the care that would be taken creating the team at the Raleigh's. Well, Raleigh's is kind of an off brand. It's not really one of the big three. You know, it's not the one you go to. I imagine that this is probably this person's first time at a Raleigh's. Maybe they've even been to a checkers before

and they don't know about the regional differences. There are a lot of questions. Raleigh's is a fair place to inquire about those kinds of things. The hard thing is you might actually create a deficit by buying a thousand cheeseburgers. I went to Wendy's, this was three days ago, I think, and I was in line and when I got to the window,

the gentleman told me, we don't have any beef right now. You have to pull up and wait a few minutes. I was at Wendy's and they didn't have hamburgers ready. From my reaction to this gentleman, you would have thought that I was in Soviet Russia. I could not believe that here in this great land, I was being told I had to wait on a hamburger. I get it if I'm getting chicken strips.

So you may not have those handy. I understand that. I had a weird fast food experience that I wanted to have some over. Can I ask if it was funny at all before we like it and jump into it with both people? It was more bewildering. Well, then it may be not right for the show. But I would like to say it.

I know I've been trying to work, but I've been trying to work through it. You can say it. I'm in a lot of issues. We'll try and find the human. Maybe it'll be like a little slice of life type of humor like they do on Prairie Home Companion, but I don't want you to just tell a story because it's really not that kind of.

I can do it really fast. Put it through your Dave Berry filter, Travis. Take the slice of life moment and then tell it as American humorist and national treasure Dave Berry would tell it. No. I pulled up to the Wendy's and there was a dude standing next to the screen where you order. And he like knocked on my window when I rolled it down.

He's like, what are you going to have? And then he talked into his headset and all I could think was, oh, this is some kind of weird Wendy's scam where he's pretending he's going to take my money. And he was like, OK, pull up to the window. And then I got it. He was working for bootleg Wendy's. I guess I got to the screen

and realized I'd forgotten to order something. And I was like, oh, this guy was talking because the screen is broken. And I rolled it down. I was like, hey, could I also get something? And the voice from the screen was like, yeah, sure. And then I pulled around to the window. Why was that guy there? Was he a ghost, maybe?

I don't know. Did you imagine him? And you were actually talking to the screen the whole time? Maybe it was Wendy's new hollow projector technology. And the man was a hologram like Wolf Blitzer. Oh, maybe, you know, I didn't ask. I guess that was my fault, really, is I should have gotten up to the first window and be like,

hey, why is that dude there? Well, you should have thrown like a fistful of coins at him. If they traveled right through his body, then you're dealing with a. Well, that's assuming it's soft like technology. If it's hard like technology, then they're still going to strike off of him. The only way you can know for sure is that if they look like a famous person,

because you know that if Arby's has a hologram projection outside taking orders from people, why wouldn't you you got to make him look like James Dean or Elvis or something? Or Dean Stockwell, how was how good would that be? Oh, my God, if he's putting your order into Ziggie, fuck that rule. I don't know.

I'm checking the numbers and it looks like, yeah, 100% probability of diarrhea. But I tried the I tried the new chicken go wrap. I should have left. I should have left. You're going to you're going to hope that your next leap will be the leap to your bathroom. Ziggie says you're going to die if you eat this combo meal.

Definitely. Every day for the next 30 years. Definitely. Yes, you will. Absolutely. I was just wondering what it takes to become a mayor. I have no political affiliations or any substantial income, but I think I would be a good one.

What do you guys think is the best approach to take to become a mayor? Nay, a great mayor. That's from mayorally musing in Nebraska. I've seen a lot of stories lately about unlikely mayors. Yeah, like a little kid mayor or a dog. A little kid mayor, the dog mayor. I think you got to have an angle. Like why would you be mayor?

Superhero mayor. Superhero mayor. Mayor by day. Superhero by night. John mayor. People love that. There's a town in New Hampshire. I think we're a boat is a mayor.

They have a boat mayor. Seems convenient. It's not like a play on words or anything. Their mayor is a fucking boat. They have a boat that has municipal power over the city. What about a mayor-mare? That's right. A horse that's a mayor.

But you're not a horse. That's problem one. Ooh, what about a mirror-mayor? And you have a mirror and it says over, like look into the mirror to see the mayor of this town. It's you. So it sounds like a time magazine cover. It sounds like to me that you guys just want to think of fun wordplay.

More mayor. And Jay Moore is the mayor. What about a mayo-mayor? Uh-huh. It's a John mayonnaise. Sure. I don't even know what a mayor does. Nobody knows what a mayor does.

Because a mayor doesn't do any- Oh, I think the soda's too big. So let's go ahead and cut- No, shut up. No. Maybe we- I'm passing a law. No more soda.

Like you can't. You don't- You have no legislative powers over any of us. I think the mayor just appears at things, right? I think it's entirely appearances. I think mayor has the fourth estate. What is the Tom Clancy shit? Like he has-

He is not judicial, legislative, or executive. He has powers elected to him, given to him by the secret parts of the Constitution that allow him to protect the other three branches of government using any means necessary. The fourth- So he's using the fourth freedom. The fourth freedom is-

That's what you're talking about. That's what third echelon has. Freedom of speech. Freedom of dance. Freedom of movement. Freedom to burger out. Freedom to burger out is the fifth freedom. The fourth freedom is-

Fourth meal. You can legally waterboard people if you're the mayor. I think the main thing mayor does is probably go places and get free shit. Like in a small town, I imagine, that's basically- He's cruising up to the deli and asking him to throw extra slices on. He travels from deli to deli with his giant scissors that he also uses to cut the ribbon on things. He shakes hands with-

That's the first- Okay, Travis, you've stumbled on step one unintentionally. That's step one. If you want to be a mayor, you have to invest in giant scissors. No one's going to take you seriously. I would also suggest a golden shovel for groundbreaking. If you have those already, that was actually in my failed campaign for mayor. That was my slogan, my campaign slogan was,

hey, I already have the shovel, and it was a picture of me holding a shovel. Explain to me why you deserve our votes. Like, you can just keep that shovel money right in your pocket. It also helps- Oh, you got to walk around with a push broom and say, like, I'm going to clean up this town. Don't do what I did, which was have a poster with me in the broom and under it. Just say, sweep it up.

Say, this is a real broom, but it was just you holding your palm out flat and somebody photoshopped a broom on top of it. But the broom was like a clip art broom and it was way too small. Then he just switched it out and changed his tagline too. He knows how to use photoshop. He knows what brooms look like. He knows how to find clip art. I'm going to photoshop all kinds of business into this town.

Everyone's so upset about Rob Ford getting on all of these shenanigans, and it's like, he's the town clown. It's not like the president is doing crack. Nobody knows what this dude does. Nobody knows what his job is. Nobody knows where Toronto is. I think it's up. Yeah, it's definitely up.

We can help this person at all. How do you become a mayor? It's an elected position. That much I do know. I think it helps- You got to get signatures first. Signatures? Yeah, you need 100 signatures.

I think in Nebraska, as long as you're outside of one of the major cities, I think you probably have a pretty good shot. Do you have a shovel? I think it helps if you were a mayor in school, and then you can carry that over, and then maybe be an apprentice mayor with the current mayor. In student council, are you talking about you majored in mayor? I mean, student council, preferably, but you want to have the practical experience. You could have a paper that says you're a mayor,

but you want to have some credits to your name. Someone says, like, I majored the lunch room. I majored at the library for a while, you know? I don't think you know what the word means. I don't think any of us know. You have to mayor before you can mayor, you know what I mean? It's one of those things because they want someone with experience, but how do you get the job to get the experience?

Can you shadow the current mayor? Could you stalk the current mayor? Oh, fun. You could become the mayor. Okay, plastic surgery. Become the mayor. Just silently take over. Like in Dave, you've got to Dave the mayor.

It's been a long time since I saw Dave, but I think that's what happens. There was an 11-year-old mayor in Texas. Yeah, that's how we do. Our freedom, our fucking shit is so free. Like, we will do shit to just, like, make sure everyone knows how free we are down here. Like, we got an armadillo mayor. Fuck you, fuck your rules. We don't need them.

We're basically a big stateful of pirates. He actually, he was in an unincorporated community, and he, his one platform was that he was going to get them incorporated. And the problem was that making them an incorporated community, there are laws that said he would have to be 18 years old. So he would put himself out of a job. It was sacrificing. That is fucking incredible.

His own mayorship. Isn't that a beautiful, beautiful story? And that got him the job. That got him the job because he was going to sacrifice himself. You think they were just waiting until he turns 18 and then they get him back up in office? I, I don't know. This was a long time ago. And his name was Barack Obama.

Barack Hussein Obama. Look at him now. Look at him now. And now you know the rest of the story. That is why Barack Obama has carried Texas with such a wide margin of votes in both presidential elections. And that's why when he retired, when he is kicked out of office in 2016, or earlier, God willing, Benghazi,

then he's going to come back to Texas and he's going to be the governor here because we just can't get enough of that guy's fucking flavor. We just cannot get enough of his freedoms. Can you step back? We love his Obamacare. They always make jokes on West Wing that when you're president, it's like the last job you'll ever have. Can you be president and then go be governor of somewhere

and then like be mayor of somewhere and then be on city council? Just, and then work your way back up. And then like you die as the treasurer of some student council somewhere? Is that what you're saying? I'm just saying, like what's the life cycle after presidency? I think you just lamp. And I think you just talk at schools about. You can finally tell everybody what you think of him.

Oh, God, how loose cannon would I, I don't understand why presidents, former presidents, aren't going full loose cannon. The only thing that keeps me from going full loose cannon right now in my day to day is the possibility that in here in about seven years, I'm going to be the president and I cannot have my campaign sullied by the actions of my youth. But if I had already been president at this point,

what are they going to stop you from doing? What are you going to do? You can't take that away from me. Try to take me off the nickel. You can't try to put me on. The dime. There's somebody else there. I'll stand in the background.

I'm not even worried about it. Loose cannon. Hey, you going to spin me? Don't look at him. Look at me. Don't look at him. Look at me. Look over here.

I'm in the corner. If you have the spider on the one, check it out. This is really close in. Really close in. Look at it. Look at it. The spider's got Justin's face on it. You don't give a fuck.

Look at the top of the pyramid. There's an eye there. It's my eye. It's always been. Let's get in my zone. Let's get you in my zone. Got a message. Got a message for Eric.

But that's not the important thing. The more important thing is that this message is as near as I can tell from this sheet from Nas. So Nas in this case is spelled NAZ, which is not the traditionally accepted spelling of Nas, the rapper, which is NAS. Correct. But you didn't have to tell him that.

I just thought it was important that people know that it's. To be friend, he's he's Nas to the public, but he's Nas to his friends. He's not. Okay. So Nas, the rapper writes, Eric is my very best bud. He introduced me to Mbim Bam and listening to the show together

is one of our favorite things to do. Happy birthday, friend. You're the best and I love you. And now we are the rapper. I'm definitely the rapper, Nas. You know, this is an angle on Jumbotron announcements that we never thought of. You could assign a celebrity to wish you a very special greeting.

Ooh. Think about it. This message is for Eric and it's from Tom Hanks. And he says, I never would have gotten into acting if it weren't for you. You're the best. I base my character in big on you. Because of what happened to you when you were a child.

When you were cursed by a fortune teller machine. And you fucked some lady that was like 20 years older than you. And she is technically wanted for statutory. Life sure is hard. Love you lots. Best bud, Tom Hanks. Tommy Hanks. Tommy Salami to his friends.

Please don't tell everyone that my true name is Tommy Salami and that I changed it when I moved to Hollywood. Hollywood sure did change Tommy Salami. That guy used to be cool. They accidentally put out a draft of that new Walt Disney Mary Poppins movie. The first trailer they sent out credited him as Tommy Salami and they had to recall the old celluloid on that bad boy.

Yeah. Got another message from Michelle. Who's it from Griffin? It's from Marine, Erin, Mark, Rhea, Murder, and Sweet Baby. Her two kids. Basically the entire cast of rent. Okay. Happy birthday Michelle.

Okay. You go ahead. Go for it. Happy. Okay, but don't like ask me to read something and then like chomp it. A lot of a bit chomping this episode. How to chomp fake this episode.

Happy 30th birthday, fucking god damn it. Happy 30th birthday, Michelle. We know how much you love Mbem-Bem, so we joined forces to issue the best birthday ever. And they'd be filled with friends, wine, Fleetwood Mac, dancing, more friends, and kale. You're the tortilla that covers our Santa Barbara love burrito. Let's stay weird and friends forever.

Beautiful. You really had me till kale. You had me to love burrito. Yuck, yuck, yuckaduck. I gotta wash that memory away and the only way I can do it is with stack soap. Stack soap. Stack soap is a beautiful, unconventional product

that is a soap with a divot. So when you get down to the stupid sliver, you jam the sliver into the divot and oh my god, eternal soap. Do not prematurely slam the divot. Don't slam the divot. Because we tried to do that with our stack soap and Teresa was like, well our soap doesn't fit,

but we had not been patient and we had not waited. Sometimes you get too excited about that momentous time. We tried to slam the divot. I've been rocking the same bar for like a year now. Just keep, I just keep slamming that divot and slamming that divot and like, I get so excited to just slam it. I take it with me everywhere I go, camping, spaceship. Time.

Camping, spaceship. Time travel. Can you even imagine if I took this ship back to colonial days and was like, check out this stack soap, colonial fucks. And they were like, oh goodness, because it's heavy toned. And then you check your book and it's like, oh and now I'm going to blot out the sun with my power,

but you didn't because it was just an eclipse. But you read it wrong because there's not an eclipse. So they just think you're a liar. And then they burn you to death and keep your soap. Burn you to death and keep your peppermint, jasmine and unscented soap. There's three different varieties now. You can get them on Amazon, but go to, do me a favor.

If you're in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Washington, D.C., South New Jersey, Virginia, or Kentucky, go to Whole Foods, buy them there. So more Whole Foods will carry them. And just buy that. Don't buy anything else. Don't buy anything else because they know they track everything.

Buy it at Whole Foods. Get it as a gift and go to stacksope.com to get more information about it. Speaking of foods, man, I got a deep hunger in my belly. I finished all the Thanksgiving leftovers. I ate it for like six meals in a row. Like half turkey fat now. I wish I had something I could put in my bell bell.

Well, I got great news for you, Griffin. Nature box. Nature box. Have you heard about it? I've heard of nature and I know what boxes are. So I'm imagining just like you put some bushes and dirt in a box. No, you're so wrong. Shit.

Do you like bush boxes? Is that like an old pouring vagina? What are you talking about? The Nature box is a collection of healthy snacks sent to you every month. And they're not bad. They're delicious, but they are healthy. Being like dark cocoa almonds is very good.

Salted caramel pretzel pops, delicious. French toast granola. I put it to you this way. You know when you go to a vending machine and you want to eat the healthy option. So you're like, oh, that nut granola bar thing that's coated in sugar and it's all like this process to gross food. But you're trying to trick yourself into the healthy option.

Those are skittles. You accidentally bought skittles. This is the real option. This is the thing that's going to get to you. And you're going to be amazed by both how delicious it is and it's good for you. Like what more do you want than that? I can't imagine.

And you're going to be able to... We're going to get you a little discount here. It's no big deal. Don't tell anybody. Tell everybody. But make sure they use this coupon code. That's the thing. If you want to tell everybody, you're going to get your first order

at NatureBox 50% off. Just use the coupon code mybrother. It's all one word. You're going to get it ship-free to you. Nothing artificial, nothing weird, but you are going to get it a little cheaper, 50% off. And it's going to cover all your tastes. You want savory, you want salty, you want sweet.

It's all there. You want umami? Ooh, umami, do you? I don't think that's a thing, but... Umami? Yeah, it's the hidden flavor. It's the fourth... No, I don't think...

I don't think umami do you. It's the fourth estate of flavors. It's the flavor that protects the other flavors, and it can do whatever it needs to to do it, including waterboarding. Out and brown invented it. Out and brown invented it, because it's just the best. So, NatureBox.com, go get it, eat it, live.

It's a pretty good tagline for them if they need one. Get it, eat it, live. Alive. Hey, I'm Jesse Thorn. Hey, I'm Jordan Morris. We're actual friends. And actual professional broadcasters. We host Jordan Jesse Go, a show about, you know, friendship, being a person.

Yeah, we run the full spectrum from feelings to some of the most vulgar jokes you can imagine. And honestly, putting it that way makes it seem like it's half and a half at best, 25, 75. It's definitely mostly vulgarity, but it's a pleasant, friendly vulgarity from two guys who went to a reasonably prestigious UC college. Why don't you try the show out now? Grab one with one of your favorite comedians,

like a Rob Cordray or Rob Delaney or whatever. Or somebody awesome that maybe you haven't heard of yet. Yeah, go to MaximumFun.org or your favorite podcasting app, and download an episode of Jordan Jesse Go now. Justin, oh my god, introduce farm wisdom. Farm wisdom, farm wisdom. Grow some corn and watch some porn. Don't, why would you?

Nailed it. Nailed it. That's gross. You really touched on the too hot topic that farmers are worried about today. What should they grow and then what should they do with their free time? We got it covered. Do you guys think there's farmer porn? Do you think that there's a set of specific things that only like a good mulch

that like farmers just can't get it going unless they experience that in their porn? Definitely. You think that farmer porn has to have mulch? I'm saying that there, that's- I think regular porn has to have mulch, but that's just me. I'm a man of very exotic tastes. I think that farmer porn has to incorporate some sort of element about topsoil erosion,

about the water table. I think that like they have to set that up. Like, you know how some porn has like a fiction to it? They have to set that up. Like, hey, I lost my phone. I was over here for the party. Oh, come in. Cool.

Yeah. Hey, can you tell me about the water table here at your place? And she's like, oh yeah, it's, we're looking at a pH balance of about four, which makes it good for, you know, more acidic things like peaches. Would mind, I'd like to see your peaches. Yeah, they're great there. We have this new mulch and they're growing really nice and plump. All right.

Well, thanks. Bye. And then he leaves. Let's, let's tune into some farm wisdom. Travis, tell me, I'm ready. I bought a book to learn how to raise goats to make artisan goat cheeses, and was shocked to find that when baby goats, kids are delivered breach, they sometimes look dead.

They aren't in order to, quote, wake the goats up in, quote, the farmer's most grabbed the kid by its neck and feet and swinging a big U-shape several times to clear the amniotic fluid out of its nose and lungs. Gross, right? And that's from Tiffany. I mean, that's how humans, they have to do that to human babies too, I think, right? How else do they start breathing? Don't you think that that's like 50, 50, like that's what you have to do.

And also it's probably pretty fun for the farmer. Yeah. The farmer's like, oh, breach. Pretend to do like a quick little Fred Astaire cane, cane wobble. My father, who is a soybean and corn farmer in Illinois, told me and my sister, if you see a dead snake in the road in three days, you'll have rain. And if it rains in January, you'll have frost in May. That's science.

It's from Cindy. It's not science though, Cindy. Cindy, I hate to break it. The thing is, I feel like you could do correlation science with like the rain in January, frost in May. But what connection could a dead snake possibly have to rain? If I start killing snakes, can I summon the right, like what are the rules to this science? I bet your dad is trying to fib you out on that. I bet it starts raining two days after and he's like, well, if you think about it,

I guess if you count from hours, it's really three days. If you count the first day as a day, you can pretty much justify any time you see a dead snake. It's probably three days. And are we talking about like the first person that sees a snake? Like if you see the snake and it starts raining one day, can you just assume that someone saw that dead snake two days before you did? Oh, good question, because if you see it and then your friend sees it the next day, who's right and who's wrong?

You can, if people just keep seeing this fucking snake over and over and over again, you could have like a perpetual drought. Oh, that's why I should say, if you see a dead snake in the road and then eat it, it will rain in three days. If a snake sees it's raining, does it call its parents right away? I'm fine, I'm fine. Has anyone heard from Jimmy? It's been like three days.

Oh, fuck, Jimmy, no. No. I can't believe we don't have any subway hacks. I know. We did get one where someone was worried about the other way around that if you subway hacked the subway artist, they would not give you enough condiments. I felt it was a very scary world in which the subway artist would be able to revenge himself upon us.

Oh, vindictive. He knows he got snowed, so he's going to try to take away your mustard. We got a subway hack from somebody claiming you can get a subway sandwich to every topping, including all toppings for around $18. For some reason, it really upset the artist to get it on flatbread. Oh, man, that sucks. Let me get a turkey, ham, Swiss pizza sauce, avocado, chicken, bacon, ranch. And of course I want it toasted and I want it toasted after everything's been put on it.

You can do that, but you legally have to eat it in front of them. All right, now I'm really hungry. Like the fucking kid in the chocolate cake from Matilda. People in the subway start cheering you on. Should you thank a waiter every time they pour you water? Yes. thanking them every time feels weird, but so does ignoring them. Thank them every time.

You thank them every time. That's an easy one. Oh, let me throw this out. Okay. You do a thanking of diminishing returns. Thanks. The first time you're like, oh, thank you. The second time you're like, oh, thank you.

Thanks. Thanks. And then by the end, you're just like, fuck you. Thank you. Thank you. It has to go back to the other side. God damn it. Enough.

Enough. That's plenty. I'm being like a madman over here. You guys want a Yahoo? Please. It's Yahoo was sent in by Ashley Eubank. Thanks, Ashley. It's by Yahoo Answers.

User Jordan who asks, why do I look bad in pictures but good in a mirror? I look horrible in picture but good in a mirror. I heard if you look into a mirror and you hold up a small mirror and look at yourself by projecting the mirror image onto the small mirror, that is what you look like to other people is this true. What? Wait, hold on. It took a weird turn because I was about to be like, okay.

Yeah, I get what? What? They have a point because when you look in your mirror image, right, they talked about this on radio. If you look at the mirror image, that's not what other people see. They see the opposite of that. You are seeing all of your features reflected How do you look into the mirror and the other mirror at the same time

with your reflection in it? You hold up a mirror and your face to the mirror and you look at your face in the second mirror that you're holding up to the first mirror. That's easy peasy. Wait, so you're looking in mirror A and seeing the reflection from mirror B of the reflection in mirror A? Yeah, this isn't that hard. I do not understand why you're having so much trouble with this.

And if a sun beam hits mirror A, you will burn your face off. Okay. You will lose your eyesight. But in that circumstance, if you're looking at A, the C, B, and A, aren't you not seeing, you're seeing a double triple, wait, the triple reflection. I'm so confused. What you have to do is rip your own eyeballs out of your head. Okay.

Now again, you're not. You didn't say that. I didn't have all of the details. You are not going to get the full picture of it because again, you will be missing eyeballs and that is a pretty important part of the face. I think with the mirror, I think if I were to guess at an actual answer here, I think the difference between mirror and photographs is that even if it just takes a moment, when you're in a mirror, you can adjust your angles and your facial expression

so you can kind of see, you can adjust and tweak the look. But I think in a camera, you're just kind of throwing caution to the wind and hoping that it's a great angle. I actually, I think it has more of a psychological factor to it where I think you can look in the mirror and know that that is ever changing. And maybe you've got a bad hair day that day, but you're able to subconsciously forgive it because it looked really good the day before. But when you look at a picture, you know that that's locked in time forever.

It's always going to look like that. So you're way more judgmental. Oh my God. So you're saying like the permanence of a photograph is what makes it look worse? Yeah. I guess why Facebook needs an option where like if you get tagged in something, you have the option to delete it. Or just a text-only Facebook.

How great would that be? I guess it would have to be called something else at that point. Or you could do like an ASCI interpretation of your face. You know what I mean? Like maybe an emoticon that you think looks a lot like you for me like 8D because I'm always got those big eyes, always got a big smile on my face. And people would just like know that like when they see an 8D, then it's me. And sometimes I'll try to put like an M dash in the middle of it to like signify my nose,

but now it looks like a dick. Oops. Oops. That's not what my face looks like. I don't think. I hope not. I don't think you have dick face personally. But I'm your brother.

I'm blinded by my love for you. Can I just throw this out? Facebook sometimes really embarrasses me because sometimes if I'm yelling at someone in a post or something and I am breaking down reasons why I'm out of them. And I say option A parentheses, you know, to like separate that out. And then I put option B parentheses. It just instantly turns that into a smiley face with sunglasses, which really cheapens my argument.

Yeah. It's like you're saying, hey, because you ruined my wedding and hey. And what's that? And here's something a cool guy would say. Imagine this in my cool guy voice. You stole my wife. Hey. Question.

Hit me. No, you do it. I thought you had one. Read the one about bladder shy. I'm I can't. That's gonna be hard because I really have to be. I'm extremely bladder shy. I'm only comfortable going at home.

I can go in public restrooms if no one is in there. But if anyone is in the bathroom, I can't even go in the stalls. This is especially a problem at large public events like sporting events or concerts. Is there a way to get over this problem or at least less in its effects? That's from Sam Crossfire Quave. Let me tell you, I used to have the same problem. Not so much with the stalls thing. That's fucking crazy.

But in the urinals, definitely. If there's other people in there, no thanks to the extent that like if I'm going in a urinal in a restroom or nobody else is and then I hear somebody like walk up to the door, my penis is like and shuts down. Power ring. Bro, fuel, energy. My penis is a transformer. And what got me over this is at some point in my life I became I'll say borderline incontinent.

I have I have a bladder that is capable of holding 15 cubic millimeters of liquid at any given time and then I have to excuse myself. I have, as I've talked about on the show, not a shame to admit it, IBS that is probably deadly and it's become such a routine thing now, me using the potty that if I don't get it over with it would literally be my entire life. So that is sort of how I got over my nervous bladder is that like I have taken away any option from my palette. It's like this, it's my way or the pee your pants way.

Let me throw out options smiley face with sunglasses. Travel around with a duffel bag full of your decorations from your home bathroom, decorate the stall with your stuff and it'll make you feel more comfortable. I love that you hang up the little cross stitch that says if you tinkle while you sprinkle be a sweetie, right the CD. Yeah. Just hang it up. Don't leave that in there though, please.

No, you have to take it with you. You have to take it with you. Oh, you put the toilet seat cover from your toilet seat on there. You put your mat around it. You have your potpourri going. You have your picture of Neil Diamond. You have your cross stitch and you just go to town. Hang in there that you just said that whole list all was normal.

I just wanted to give you a piece of mind that all the things that you have in your pee zone are totally normal. Thank you. Sydney always gives me a hard time because whenever I go to like a new place, I usually will go to the bathroom right away. I love to go pee. You want to scope the sitch. Also because I'm really socially awkward and the bathroom is sort of like my safe place

where I can get away from it all. It's like a little vacation for people. And there's no problem with pre-planning like Danny Ocean didn't just walk into the Bellagio and like grab all the shit and walk out. Like you got to get some blueprints and stuff. And sometimes they have like a weird toilet. I went into a bathroom where the urinal was like this bucket set up thing that they had turned into a toilet.

Like you want to prep for that. You want to know that ahead of time. You don't want to get in there and suddenly you're throwing off your rhythm because it's like hold on and then you've peed your pants. This problem is especially bad in the sort of environs that the question asked or mentioned like stadiums and concert venues. I feel like they are getting worse about not distinguishing pee zones from hand washing zones in the effort to sort of push everyone cattle like through the experience.

It is not uncommon to see urinals that look a lot like hand washing stations and vice and vice. For kids. You go to like an elementary school. Maybe you're voting or something like that. You go to the bathroom. You've just peed in a child's sink is what you did there. You just peed in a child's sink.

What I hate even more because yes that is awful. But what I hate is the bathroom planner who puts this hand washing sink like directly like six inches away from a urinal. So that means if person A is washing his hands and person B is pissing it's like oh hey well I'll be over there in a second and then we can trade out intentionally because that way if someone is having a hard time you can give them some words of encouragement like hey I've been where you've been. I've been where you've been.

I got through it and you will too. Get that pee out of there. Get it on out and then come over here and wash your hands. I'm going to go back out to the movie but first I wanted to tell you you're my big man. You're my big you're my big man. You can do this. Okay. Enjoy the Wolverine.

I was peeing in a urinal a couple weeks ago. Tell me more. Hold on. This is good. I was peeing in a urinal in a restaurant a couple days ago and I watched a gentleman out of the corner of my eye. I don't think he knew I was in the urinal because he kind of went out of the toilet stall and went straight to the sink and I watched this gentleman from the corner of my eye turn on

the water, wait a second and then turn it off fucking that guy is all on point. So like if you didn't know you were there who was that who was who was that whole act for. I don't know. There are other stalls that had closed doors so I'm assuming he thought a little show for them or maybe someone had had been walking in. I don't know who this production this production was for. He didn't activate any sort of hand-drying outboards.

Is it possible that he was going to wash his hands right and he turned on the water and in the second after he turned on the water he just went oh no I'm not kidding I turned it off. I'm going to grab the knob. Wait a minute. Why start now Wayne? Why start now? Maybe.

Maybe he peed in the toilet stall right and listen it's entirely possible ladies you might not know about this it's entirely possible for a dude to do that particular business without touching his zone at all. You just you unzip you flump you do it you pulled the pants forward to retract it and then you zip up no contact so maybe he got up to the sink turn on the water was like wait did I touch my business and he said no I didn't I'll just go ahead and turn this right off because your pants aren't dirty you know what I mean it's just the sin that's dirty when you touch your when you touch your zone you get sin all over your hands you got

to wash that off. But you've almost certainly encountered some sort of fixture that has been touched by someone else with dick on their hand. No maybe not I mean it's entirely like it's super automated now. That's true. I'm saying it's entirely possible to get in and out of the bathroom without touching nothing but your pants and in those situations I think it's a hundred percent acceptable to walk out out of the doors and like keep keep making that army sandwich.

He's hydrophobic. He might be hydrophobic too. Like he was trying to work up his nerve. This is his little way of like facing his fear and he's this he's on like step six right and step six is like just turn on the water Wayne you don't have to use it but just know that it's there. If you need it but you don't because you didn't touch your dick at all you're fine go ahead. That was step five step five was to learn to pee without touching your dick because he's

also dick. It's not that hard. It's super easy I have 98 percent of the time I do it. Is this a weird thing. I've never talked to or said it any of this shit out loud before but I don't think it's that weird of a thing. I guess it's a weird thing because you guys are like stymied right now. No no it makes sense.

I know we're I know we're just on just on plus. Okay. So it's so calm it's so normal that you think it doesn't even they're talking about anything and bears repeating. Sometimes you do just pee without without touching your stuff. Sometimes you touch it a lot though. Sometimes it's got a jostle to get the engine going. Sometimes like first date town you can't keep your hands off it.

Listen thank you so much to for listening to our program. We hope you have had a good time. I want to thank people who have sent us stuff in the mail real quick dipping into the mail bag. It's PO Box it's PO Box 54 Huntington West Virginia 25706. So I want to thank Corinna Terbs she's a beekeeper who sent us some honey that had been aged and whiskey barrels. You have not eaten all of it have you.

There's still some. No I saved some. I can bring it to Griffin's wedding. Yes. Turkey Hill apiary at gmail.com is her email address and she didn't ask for a plug or anything I just really I dug it so I wanted to tell you guys where you can get it because she's thinking about going full time in the beekeeping game and I say go for it. Chris Kuchera Kuchera yes the coach Chris Kuchera the coach sent us boxes of all the

monster cereals which is amazing Matthew Siegel sent us a horse and pony body language phrase book so kind be able to communicate better for them everybody Martha sent us some pictures some prints that she made and Cruz Flores sent us some Halloween candy and it says at the bottom of his note it was dictated but not read which I really appreciate it we also got by the way I have misplaced the the the label but who sent it to us but we got three dog tags that have emblazoned on them in case of an emergency blast my cash that's amazing this is our fan so awesome I'll bring those to you guys too. You guys are amazing.

Yeah you're all the best thank you all so much for for sending us that neat stuff and thank you to folks tweeting about the show using the nbnbm hashtag like Matt James Hardesty Nick Robinson Eric DS one Charlie Balcom Kyle M Smith Justin Sedech Alex Shaver Dave Smith Danny Persky Hosmer Angel Jeremy Greer Tiffany in so many others Jeremy Piven also want to remind everybody make sure to go check out our friends at nature box and use the coupon code my brother and get 50% off your first order even if you just go check it out it's a super great idea and I think you'll really love it if you want my current nature box the one I'm going to be getting delivered tomorrow you can you can get a box just like your

old hero Justin get some citrus chipotle chickpeas baked sweet potato fries French toast granola salted caramel pretzel pops and Italian bistro pretzels that's my bow that's how I roll and make sure you check out all the other great shows on max fun wham bam pow throwing shade Jordan Jesse go bullseye judge John Hodgman stop podcasting yourself and of course saw bones with Justin McRoy and Cindy McRoy probably my favorite show on the network hilarious two things thanks John Rodgerick in the long winters for the use of our theme song it's a departure off the album putting the days to bed you can find it on Amazon you find it anywhere makes a great Christmas present for them have been banned fan in your life or anybody because

it's a really good record also we're not gonna have an episode next week because getting nail weed will the week after that be our candle nights episode or are we gonna do the candle nights episode on like the 23rd I don't know let's figure that out when we're not like actively recording an episode start start sending in your candle nights questions candle nights coming up make sure that you put in the subject something about candle nights so that I can separate those out don't swear don't swear in your questions because we don't swear in the answers it's our family friendly episode every year that is the hardest to record and to edit so yeah seriously thank you guys all very much for your love and support I feel

like I'm getting married to all of you you know what I mean legally he is legally I am getting married to everybody who listens to the show so thank you we're all going to have such a lovely family together all right girlfriend I'm ready finally I last question finally yeah finally yahoo was sent by Sean Moran thanks Sean it's by yahoo answers user Mixie Minix who asks is it possible to get sick from farting a lot under your covers at night and then opening them in the morning oh Justin McRoy oh Travis McRoy god I hope not it's been my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported

my name is Dave my name is Graham and we're both the host of stop podcasting yourself which is a podcast from Canada in fact we've won the best podcast in Canada two years in a row at the Canadian comedy awards sounds made up it does sound made up even as I was saying it I'm like did that really happen here's the thing stop podcasting yourself it's a very positive show about two people who hate absolutely everything but we love you and you uh listening through all this pro ad if people have already fast forwarded through this part of the program thanks we're stop podcasting yourself and you can find us at maximumfun.org