My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 182: Yogi the Stareater

Episode Date: January 6, 2014

This episode features a 25-minute-long argument about which bear is the most powerful bear. It's a return to form, we guess? Which is kind of a sad statement about our form. Suggested talking points: Gravy Hose, Islands in the Marathon, Chubby, Con, The Most Powerful Bear, Big Bang Theory

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello and welcome to my brother, my brother Meena, the vice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother, Travis McElroy. And I'm the baby new year ghost. Welcome baby new year. I'm the ghost of baby new year, a parent. Oh no.

The new year is already dead. Sometimes. Long live the new year. When I try to do like an impression, it almost always comes out ghost, and I think that probably explains like a lot of shit about A, me, and B, this podcast. God's griffin, he's our baby brother. And this is 24-word. We made it. Yep. 20 Dirt got pretty tazy there at the end. I was a little worried about whether or not we're going to be able to forward that their stream, but we made it and we didn't lose any supplies. Nope. I rung in the new year. I don't know what you guys did. I rung in the new year at a castle in the center of Ohio while I was trying to solve a murder mystery clues.

I didn't know that that was like a fucking like castle-y, but was their medieval times, not like the actual time, not the restaurant, in Ohio, like where their sieges. Yeah, it's all in the Book of Mormon, griffin. I guess. Yes. Where their dragons and squires and blacksmiths and shit, like in- So you run into the impression that dragons were a part of medieval history? Because I guess I just kind of thought that like Ohio missed out on that. I could maybe see like New Hampshire like- No, it just cycled later. Like here in Ohio, our middle ages happened about two years ago. Yeah, because I was there for that shit. Thanks, Peter.

Yeah, and then you left and then it was the Dark Ages for about a year and a half. Because I left. And we just found medicine. Yeah, you took it with you. Well. Oh, Trav, why do you guys get to the Renaissance? Yeah. Gonna be a lot of naked lady pictures just warning you heads up. I did karaoke for my New Year's Eve, which was fun. They had an all-time sign in the book. And it was, there was just a lot of cheer. There was a lot of opening of our private booth. Tying that's a nightmare though, right? You put it in, it pops up at 10.30. Like, hey, this is gonna seem- No, talking about a private booth. It wasn't like a,

it wasn't like a total request live situation. Whoa, look at- So you were able to do like karaoke and like strip at the same time. Biggie Smalls over here with his own private booth. It was like- You get some crystal? It was like $6 an hour. Whoa. It was not. There were no like fondant fountains. It was, it was a $6 an hour karaoke, Korean karaoke place. You know, the Golden Corral now has three fountains, chocolate, white chocolate and caramel. Really? Hey, hey, I got a brown rib, but I want to put it in chocolate, but I also care about-

Okay. I want to say, I'm actually amazed that there's not more. That there's not also like a butter fountain and like a nacho cheese fountain and like a gravy fountain and like a cookie fountain. No, there's a great- Sprinkle's fountain. There's a gravy hose. There's a gravy hose. Step on up. Then there's the cookie trough. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Their newest ads are just step on up you fat piece of shit. Just give in. Turn it on, shut it down. How have the first five days of the year been for y'all? My favorite thing is seeing on Facebook and it apparently our standards as a society have become so little to establish whether a year was good or not when it's like woke up and put on my slippers. 2014's looking good so far. I mean, I guess. Like, you haven't like-

Nobody's come up and like punched you in the- in the taint, like- Put on my- put on my slippers. They were scorpion-free, smooth sailing. So far, so good. I just hate to be with that person the one day. They're like, went to get the peanut butter. We were out of smooth and only had crunchy left. Fuck 2014. Fuck 2014. You- you fucked 12 hours in. It's already the worst year ever. If it keeps up at this pace.

Let's uh- let's help some people. I'm ready. I'm in good shape for it. 20- forward, here we go. First question, 20 forward. Is this. I'm relatively in shape and enjoy running. Well, well, well. Well, Lardy- Lardy-dar. Lardy-dar, look at me. I'm fit, damned-

I'm the running man. I'm the running man. I love it. I typically run an hour a day. Oh, well, well, well. But have found that listening to music just doesn't cut it for me. I really enjoy singing along. I found it makes running more fun and singing in general makes me a happier person. Is this a bad thing to do?

I get embarrassed very little. And I am not looking for attention here, but I'm curious to be thinking through to others to run by them singing Skater Boy. That being said, I think it's far more ridiculous to go from full out singing to nothing as soon as I see someone. And it looks like I'm embarrassed. It's a very Doppler effect.

It's- He's just as cute as he later was. Outside running only. Sing as one would sing in the shower or car. And I try to censor myself. Are there a lot of swears in Skater Boy? He's a fucking Skater Boy. I love you, Skater Dick.

What? Ladies. What is a Skater Boy? From piping and pits. It's like a regular dick, but he has one of those little finger flip skateboards that they sold at Toys R Us for a while. And a tiny helmet.

He only wears Vans condoms on it. I- Hey, do you want to have sex? I can't. My dick's a warp tour. Shit. Again? I'm at this crazy- This crazy cool lunge lady.

She's totally rad. Lineup sucks this here, but he'll have fun. It's more about like the experience. There's a really easy solution to this. If you're going to say don't sing, like- No, no, no. Can you tell a bird to not sing? No, god no.

You have to do queens don't stop me now on repeat. I like that actually. And then make eye contact with everyone you pass and like kind of maybe do like finger points. And then they're like, am I stuck in a music video and I didn't know it? And then they'll think, well, I don't- If he-

Am I stopping him now? I really don't want to be. That's what he means to me. I swear about that. I'm sorry. I don't want to salt your running game. Come back. But then the twist there is by calling out after him,

they stop and they're like, what? And like, oh shit, I stopped him now. Fuck. Also, I imagine you have headphones on. I hope you're not just like fucking carrying on- carrying like a boom slammer. What are those things called? Boom slammer.

Boom slammer. Yeah. Carrying a boom slammer with you as you run. It's like a jail for your booms. It's a boom slammer that you have like strapped to your arm with one of those little iPod arm bands. And you're just like, you just like bringing your tunes with you that way.

Because nobody sounds as good as they think they do singing while they're wearing- Well, I mean, I do. Like your buds. Hey, big ups to you for being able to both run and have the extra lung capacity to like- He was a skater, boy. He's gonna see you later, boy.

I just wasn't good enough for her. Oh god. I need an amateur move. God, I gotta tell you from an outside observer's perspective, like it wouldn't be a situation of like if somebody was running towards me in the streets like shrieking Avril Lavigne, it wouldn't be a situation of, oh, that person's so weird. It would be like, I am genuinely fearful for my life right now.

I genuinely- I need to be in a different place in this place right now. That's across the street situation. That would make my day. Are you kidding me? Justin, you're saying that to like goof. Actually think about a person running towards you, singing a song while they're running towards you

as fast as they can for fitness. Okay, why am I- Why am I at the track? That's the first thing I gotta know. Are they at the track? Well, you're at the running track, right? No, I don't know. See, sometimes people just like run on the street

where people like walk to go to the store. Are there dogs chasing them? You were walking to HEB to pick up a flick at the red box and then all of a sudden- See, I think somebody's fucking running down Guadeloupe at you on the same side of the street singing a song. I think that's very rude. When people jog past my house,

I feel like they're having a parade for themselves. Like, yes, okay, you're running. Everyone sees you. Oh, what if you just join a parade? Oh, oh, you could mask your- You could just stick to only running with things that make noise, like run next to an ice cream truck. That would look good.

I think Travis is suggesting what if there were events or circumstances, like a parade, but instead of floats and stuff, it was just a bunch of people running a long distance. What if we invented that? Like a bunch of people all running down the street, and it would like- Here's the thing, though. Here's the best part about it.

It would block traffic for normal people. And it would be like pretty annoying in big cities. Now, Griffin, I feel like you're doing a marathon goof, but what if you did that, but the whole marathon was like a giant choir? It was a big sing-along. Well, actually, I was just actually picturing my head. Can you imagine doing a 5K?

Well, no. But I can't. Can you imagine doing a 5K? But like, as soon as it starts, there's a guy just like, Island's in the stream and that is what we are. And then there's also a woman jogging next to him, harmonizing. That would help me set my pace ahead of those people. Just got to keep ahead of them.

Because you can't afford to have douche shells in a long run. You got to stay hydrated. Mm-hmm. Let's see how you're glambing. I would suggest maybe like, if like you are instinctively singing along with the song, listen to some like non-lirical shit, but then like, there's nothing stopping you from like,

when you're listening to like, I don't know, let me think of a non-lirical song real quick. The Seinfeld theme song. Just running down the street like, I would say that what I love about this question is that they're not worried about looking weird. They're worried about seeming rude, which I think is so considerate that you're missing.

I don't think it's rude at all. I don't think anyone's going to see you running past you go, how rude. I think they're going to go, I need to get inside. I need to get somewhere safe behind a threshold. This is the, well, this is the thing though about, I think there's a law of like, if you, there's momentum impacts the,

your value of a crazy person, right? So if you are. How often do you run into that situation? I, are you saying like, well, you get into an elevator and it's like, oh, what are we stuck in here for? And then it turns out the person's, you know, talking to a quorum dog or something happened, or maybe you're just trying to use the bathroom

with cracker barrel and a weird guy comes up and shows you his nipple through the crack in the door. Maybe that happened to you once. I guess I'm just like uncomfortable with the crazy terminology for maybe eccentric. Yeah. Okay. He was an eccentric, an eccentric gentleman.

You showed me his eccentric nipple. Was the nipple eccentric or was it pretty like cut and dry? Had he drawn a little winking smiley face on it? No, it's just a regular nipple and it's super upsetting. I actually want to talk about anything else. Okay. Here's another question. Recently I had my vehicle stolen, which really bummed me out.

I was wondering if you guys had any advice on things to do for a good cheer up session. And that's from Canadian good and car. Get justice. Like on the person. Get justice. For every car stolen from you, you must steal 10 other cars. Well, no, that's opposite of justice.

Well, then it balances out. You got to pay it forward. I never saw the movie, but I understand that. What do you say the three of us need to sit our asses, I said our fat asses down and watch fucking pay it forward so we can like reference this film in a way that makes sense. Yeah. Once you've, if something is stolen from you,

the only like reasonable response is to try to fill the hours that that thing would have filled for you with justice, like trying to pursue justice. That's how Batman, Bruce Lee became Batman because once his parents were dead, you know that full one going to go to school anymore. Who's going to make him nobody. So he decided to stay home, become Batman.

He had a lot of great time on Batman. If like he was the world's greatest detective and crime fighter and also a literate and couldn't do his timetapes completely literate. Batman to solve my latest riddle, you have to write in cursive. Wait, no, no, absolutely not. Can I help you there?

Hey, Alfred, because you come here and sign this check for me. Thank you. Please. It's for a billion dollars for cancer research. I wrote Batman, I wrote Batman, but the in, I did it in big block letters and it ends backwards. I don't think they'll take that because my bank accounts not under Batman.

Alfred, what's three times two? Quit laughing, you old fuck. Stop it. It'd be really frustrating for the Joker because all the jokes would go over his head. They've all got like historical punch lines. You'll be fiddling like Nero when, what are you saying? I don't, I don't, I don't fall though.

Mad Hatter. Yeah, like what, what's a mad hatter? You know, from the bottom. What's mad about punching some more? I know about punching. And the, the, the villain he's most impressed by is Clock King because he can tell time. Like, wow, that is something.

You're not using digital or anything. I'm super intimidated by you, Clock King. Um, uh, but on the real side, uh, just go buy a bunch of stuff on Amazon. Usually does it for me. He's got to save money for a car though. He can't buy anything. No, you don't really need a car.

You could go just test drive cars all day and then not buy one. Well, that's just a, just to kind of get your fix. I mean, because like if you're really like Jones in for a car ride. Oh, could you live next door to an auto dealership and use that to get around town? Hey, I will have this back to you, my man,

but I got to hit up Go-Mart. Um, that, but is there's no situation more stressful than test driving a car? So I don't think that would be like, especially, I don't think that would like. Okay. So maybe like, maybe like smoke a little weed first, just to even it out and then go test drive a couple cars.

Cut that. It's fresh with a little hashish. I was shocked when they, when I test drove, we buy, we bought a car, uh, it's like six months or so ago. I was shocked that they just let us drive it. Like I've been driving for 15 years, but suddenly I was terrified about my ability to operate a motor vehicle.

Yeah. I had forgotten everything. That happened when Teresa and I bought the matrix and I, I. Great. I was much, I don't think that. I mean, I hesitated like for a second. Like, I don't know.

I don't think that franchise has a lot of legs on it still. I don't think. Giannis burned me before. I don't, I just don't know. I'm so indecisive. I love Laurence Fishburne though. Shit. But everybody's talking about this.

Who's this Carrie and Moss? I don't know her. That might be an adventure. Fun acting adventure. I always love finding new actresses I love. Let's give it a shot. It's got guns on the box. This is great.

Let's get the other two right away. Sign unseen. Ah, fuck. God. Shit. Should, fuck. Should have rotten tomatoes those. Got me again, Keanu.

Fuck. Yeah. By the first one, you'll have the other two. Won't love the other two. I shouldn't even like bother finishing the story now, should I? No, didn't sound like it was going anywhere like great. You guys want Yahoo? Yup.

Are you eating something? You eating some food? No. I can hear you quietly, guiltily crunching. I thought you guys would be riffing for a while. In my defense, I thought that goof had better legs on it. That's my fault. This Yahoo was sent in by somebody anonymous.

It was like, I got it from like a Yahoo answers referral service and I assume that like somebody sent it in through that service and not that like Yahoo has like gone self aware. Cause man, if Yahoo knew how much we'd made fun of it. Anyway, it's asked by Yahoo answers user flauntre scarlet. Who asks? Why doesn't the penis gain fat? Good question.

It just hit me suddenly. That's it. We got to eat the right foods. You're suggesting that there are foods you can eat. Just so I'm clear that specifically like, I guess it makes sense because really you eat like a big burger and you know, like, oh, this is going straight to my hips. You're saying there's a way that there's like Dick's smart bombs in food form. It's where there's originals.

This whole time. You couldn't have picked a more upsetting. You picked. You're saying like grandpa's, preternaturally, fat dicks. You're making me think right now of everywhere there's commercial I've ever seen or a kindly silver haired, uh, septagenarian has a little kid on his lap, which is amazing that he has room for anything on that lap other than his enormous, not enormous. We should, we should be careful with the vernacular here because we're not talking about

like a huge, a huge hog in the typical. Not impressive anyway. Just horrifying. Like a fleshy Campbell's can just there. It looks at it. You look at it, which you don't want to be doing anyway, but you are looking at it and you think to yourself like, Dick looks out of shape. That's one flabby wiener.

That's why I hope people always get offended. If you take one of the Werther's out of their candy dish, that's nature's viagra. Be careful. No, it's not nature's viagra because it doesn't make, I don't want to get like gross or blues this soon into 24, but it doesn't like get you hard. It doesn't get you, doesn't get you. If anything, it gets you softer. It gets you, it gets you busier a bit.

It's a little bit around the middle. It gets you swole in a bad way. The problem is after that, if you don't keep it up, you end up with stretch marks. Oh God, I can't with this. I can't do this with you. Okay, let's do this. I just mean if you don't have a constant source of Werther's, it deflates back weird. Sure, it deflates.

Like Fat Bastard at the end of the Austin Powers movies, where he's got the weird flaps of skin. Are you like imagining this? No, this isn't a scene. Okay, let's, let's fucking jump as fast as we can away from this topic of A, visualizing fat dicks and B, making any Austin Powers references. Justin, that's going to sound like it's your cue to do your thing. To do both simultaneously. Why doesn't the penis gain fat?

It just hit me suddenly, Flandre Scarlett said. Now finish your short story. I think it's because it's all bone. Now Justin has been pushing this theory for a long time. I don't know if Sydney has been a co-conspirator in this, but she should really know. She is probably my biggest detractor. Okay, good, because like she's a goddamn doctor. Like I think it actually breaks the Hippocratic oath to suggest that there's a bone that lives in your penis.

Justin's been pushing this theory about penis bone for a long, long time. Some animals have a penis bone. That's true. Humans are one of them. That part, I have a little bit of a problem. Justin, do you have any kind of medical science to back that up? Boners. Boners, okay.

The word, the word, the word boners. Of course, that being said, the word chubby has recently taken on an entirely, like, just, like, it's not a good word. Well, like it was a great word before. Like it was the medically accepted word. Just get your chubby out and let's take a look at it. I am a chubby doctor. No, no, not a fad doctor, a chubby doctor.

You don't understand. Like a proctologist. Yeah, yeah, a chubby doctor. Why doesn't it game fine? I don't... A penis bone is called abaculum, which is so close to scobacula that it... He's actually the only human being with a penis bone. That makes sense to me a lot.

Do you want me to ask Sidney real quick? Yeah, yeah. I'll just ask her. Okay, hold on. But I want to hear it. Hey, Sidney! Hey, Sid! Why doesn't the penis get fat?

Why doesn't the penis get fat? She says Jesus. I'll take it. I'm not sure she's a good doctor anymore. I really wanted a more thorough explanation in that. Wait, hold on. I know. Was it an exasperated Jesus or is she implying that Jesus' power stops?

She's implied that Jesus was the one that makes it so your penis doesn't get fat. I think she is trying to... She heard you ask that question and thought this is a great topic for a sawbones episode. And now she's trying to fucking... She is trying to hold on to this podcast comedy and use it for her own thing. Justin, your marriage is tearing our brotherhood apart. Sorry, we had a good run though, didn't we? Who you and your wife are you and your two brothers.

Time to pick. This is it. This is when you pick. I picked Jesus. Okay, so I got another question for you guys. You want to hear it? Yeah. Yeah.

Hey guys! Quick question. Been married for over a decade now. In the past few years, I've really come out as a geek girl. For example, I enjoy playing D&D, watching Firefly, debating, hey listen, we know what geeks are, okay? Covered. We got that covered.

But my husband doesn't appreciate my geekdom and makes fun of me, making me feel immature and less of a woman. Sure, he does appreciate the occasional Star Trek episode, but he draws the line and allowing me to attend a con. My question is, should I just go back to the closet and try to suppress my geek urges? What can I do to help him realize how lucky he is and let me explore this side of me? That's from Sexy Good Girl. Man, I gotta tell you, like,

we have talked about the idea of self-identity based on cultural consumption and how most of the time that is not the healthiest thing. Not that we're shaming those proclivities at all, because Christ knows we've got them. But the terminology, the phrase allowing me to attend a con gives me the royal skevers. You know, here's the thing. In my opinion, people that make fun of or make people that enjoy things like this

feel less is because they themselves are afraid to allow themselves to wholeheartedly love something that much. If you see someone make fun of someone at a Star Trek convention, I doubt that it has anything personal to do with that person so much as they're looking at someone unabashedly loving something and it scares them. Something that I've had to keep in mind throughout my marriage, which isn't as long as yours, but it's getting there. Sydney can appreciate some things that would fall into the realm of geekdom for sure, right?

She watched Battlestar with me. She loves Doctor Who. But there are some things where I have to be honest with myself. I have to look at myself and say, Justin, this is a show about Green Arrow getting his feet underneath him and maybe meeting the Flash at some point. Like, probably not. Probably not.

This isn't going to fly. Probably not. Probably doesn't need to watch my DVDs of that show, The Wizard, which was about a little person who invented things and was rich and a genius and a toy maker. Probably would not get into that with me. I mean, I really want to watch that. Now, if you want to come over and watch The Wizard, you can. But I'm saying is sometimes you feel like something can't be a part of you unless

that person is sharing it with you. Like, you love it so much. You want them to take part. That can be a little off-putting for some people because everybody's got their own taste, their own things that you like. You have common ground with Star Trek. Maybe that's a place to build from. You build out from Star Trek.

Hey, you want Star Trek but good? That's Battlestar Galactica. Come watch this with me. You like Battlestar Galactica? Why don't you tune into the OC? It's basically the same thing. It's a real good show. Seth is a Cylon.

I ruined it. Justin and I are thinking about doing a spin-off from a boom-bam called Ack Ack Ack. Maybe it's just the OC three times. We'll just talk about our favorite episodes. Anyway, let us know in the comments what you think. Thanks. Rate and subscribe.

I don't let anyone make you feel bad about anything. I mean, it's your husband and I'm sure you, I'm sure it would be easy to look at this one facet and for us to judge it. So I'm not going to do that. But if it's something that's important to you, you should say something to him. Be like, hey, whether you mean to or not,

you're making me feel bad about this and that ain't cool. Am I like, I was only going to give this dude the benefit of the doubt, but saying no, you can't go to the con. Like, is he worried that you're not going to come back? Like you're going to meet some, I don't know, some twilect there that's just going to like, you know, Griffin, I'm willing to bet that it's something like

seeing it as a reflection of himself in some way of like, oh, no, please don't go to that. Please, that'd be so embarrassing. Don't go. He doesn't have to fucking go. That's, but that's what I'm saying is, I think that's what you're saying. Be like, hey, listen, this is a partnership

and we're in us and everything, but I want to go to this thing. You don't have to go. No one there is going to care that I'm there because everyone else there is also there. So why is that embarrassing in any way? I mean, it's not embarrassed. Like it's not.

But that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Tell that dude, like there's nothing embarrassing about it because it's not like you're rolling up to someone's birthday party in your full out, you know, Star Wars or Galea. But if you roll it to Star Wars convention, what does it matter? I mean, you could do that. You could put on your ceremonial head tails

and just like fucking roll up to roll up to this birthday party like, sorry, hon. You didn't like give me a place to like vent this. I bought these head tails. I got to wear them somewhere. I'm sorry. But also mentioned to your husband that the Avengers was the biggest movie that the year it came out

that J.J. Abrams makes Star Trek and Star Wars movies now. Like they canceled sports. The battle is over. Oh, man, that's a shame. He's inherited the earth. I really wanted to watch the Packers' Sporting Niners game after this. But you're saying that.

No, canceled. Canceled sports. You would think they would wait until at least until the end of the season. There's a lack of interest. See, I don't think that's true because they like. They said, you know, they said like only like six people are watching. Turned out everybody got concussions.

They canceled all sports. So they managed to sell out the Packers' Game, which isn't like especially surprising because that fact. Everybody bought the seats ironically. Everyone bought the seats ironically. No one's actually going. Yeah, no one's going. Like, Lamb of the House like every single game.

So it's not super surprising. It is like negative 40 degrees right now in Wisconsin. People sitting around negative 40 degrees like, God, I get a high, high price ticket to do that. To lose to lose my gins in the cold. The toe comes off in the boot. God, it's insane. How do you do that?

It's right now at the Packers' Game. It's 48 to 39. Is that the score? No. Number of penises that have fallen off versus the number of butts that have fallen off that just frozen off and come off. But we'll keep you updated throughout the game. Now let's go back to the Tertino's halftime show

starring John Madden. Sorry, John Madden is banned. The Madden Knights. Hey, I'm no better at commentating than playing bass. One, two, three. Let's hit it. Oh, wait, hold on. One second.

Here's fucking pizza rolls. Boom, and he's on his back again. Covering himself in pizza rolls. You know, when I was in middle school, I read the book All Madden by John Madden like five times. I still have passages of that book that I remember. You want to know how John Madden treats his sore throat? Don't even worry about it.

You want to know how strong he thinks LT is? Very. I just googled John Madden dead because I was no kidding, guys. 500% sure that John Earl Madden, born April 10th, 1936, was dead as fuck. But right now, it just says born, and then it says dead. Question mark? Dead. End of the day, sexy geek girl.

Don't suppress your urges. Don't let anyone make you stop doing anything you want to do, as long as it's not hurting anyone. But Devil's Advocate, there is absolutely nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with these habits. But I always say when we talk about this stuff, I get super uncomfortable when people define themselves with it. Well, I mean, that's the thing is marriage is a partnership.

Yes, on the one hand, you shouldn't let him make you feel bad about it, but on the other hand, you're in a partnership with this dude. So there's got to be some level of maybe what he doesn't want to do is decorate the whole living room in a Doctor Who theme. Right, but I don't think she's... But I'm saying, so don't go like fucking hog wild, find a nice, even keel that the both of you are happy and comfortable with. But if you want to go to the con, go to the fucking con.

Yeah, go to the con, girl. Girl, damn. We'll see you there. Let's get paid. Let's get paid. Guys, I have a pretty fat penis and the rest of me is pretty fat too, and I decided that in 24-word, I'm going to move my weight number 20 backward, by which I mean I'm going to lose 20 pounds. But the problem is I like eating food that tastes good.

Oh, well, there's no solution. Damn it. Excuse me, maybe you haven't heard of Nature Box. Remember earlier when I was eating and it was rude? Well, I was eating sweet potato fries that I got sent to me from the fine people at Nature Box. Curving your appetite doesn't get any easier, guys. It's going to help you lose weight with these snacks that are shipped in a box to you monthly.

I get like 10 snacks a month. You get to choose whatever you want. They have like a crazy assortment of things you wouldn't have even considered having, but man alive, they are delicious. So like, and here's the thing. They got the sweets covered. They got the french toast granola, like the salted caramel pretzel pops. God, I ate so many of those when I was in town.

But they also have like some amazing like salty savory shit because I prefer that. I like my chips and stuff. They've got some stuff. Oh, they have. Italian Bistro Pestles are very good. They have very elusive chili lime pistachios. Why don't these days I'll eat those without my wife just like hoovering them up, shell and all. So I guarantee no matter what you taste, they've got something that you're just going to eat.

And it's all natural. There's no trans fats, no high fruit, just corn syrup, nothing artificial. And the best news is you can try it if you want for half off. You use coupon code mybrother. Go to naturebox.com and use the promo code mybrother. All one word, all one word. And you're going to get like 50% off these great snacks. So like my thing right now that I've been using to lose weight in 24 forward is I

every time I get hungry instead of eating, I smoke a whole cigar. I've also been dipping all my food in oelestra. Just because like I remember that that was on those chips for a while and those did actually I think helped me lose some weight. So is this a better option or? No, this is much, much better. It's all natural. But I would assume with your free all natural, I think.

Yeah. But with your frequent bowel movements, you're going to be missing some highlights from your favorite TV shows. And I'm sure you're pretty worried about that. Not really. I just like let it right. Just like let it leak. That's my 24 word colon.

Let it leak. That's colon by the way. Colon, let it leak. It's not it is not a punctuation mark. It's just my it's my blood. The good news is there's Hulu Plus. That's going to help you catch up on all your shows that you missed. You tried Hulu.com.

Everybody loves it. It's great. They had this great accent that Alex Baldwin for a while. You probably tried Hulu Minus. Yeah, that's just like a blank screen for a couple hours. But now they've got a lot of huge JPEGs of your favorite shows at Hulu Minus. You don't want that. You want to go to HuluPlus.com.

It actually does a guy describing TV shows to you. Is there a Hulu? You'll never believe what happened on Dr. Who last night. Is there Hulu colon? If they got SNL, they got Jimmy Kimmel Live, Shark Tank and Scandal. And there's like every episode of shows like Lost, Law and Order, SVU, Dr. Who and Community. And they got some original stuff too.

The wrong man's behind the mask, which is the show Travis was watching about sports mascots. And the best of all, it's only eight bucks a month. No problem. Eight bucks a month, anybody can spare that. And and it always costs eight bucks a month forever, right? Griffin, you have to pay that right up front. Yeah, pretty much.

Oh, no way. You stupid idiot. Right now you try that HuluPlus. You can get on that tip for free for two weeks. I'll get that free two week trial. Just go to HuluPlus.com slash my brother and cash in. Get it. Get it.

Watch it. View it. Enjoy it. Stop what you're doing right now. Breaking news. OK. Twice a month, Chicago Comedians, Cody Melcher and Ranjeet Suri invite a funny friend of theirs over to talk about a really weird book.

They've all just read. Now, hold on. Do they do they broadcast these discussions or are we just no, there is no way to listen to this. But no, I would say if you are outside their window on a warm summer's day and the breeze is in the no, you can you can listen to this podcast. They have people like Dan Telfer, our our dear friend. I think I can say that.

He introduced us once. Dan Telfer, SNL's Tim Kazerinsky, communities, Danny Pooley. They've done so many books from Edgar Allen Poe's only novel to a conspiracy book about homosexuals starting the Nazi party to twilight. It's called Tom Fulory. Nope. Tom. It says there's a clever fucking pond like in the name of it.

Well, just call me Batman. Sorry. Tom Fulory is the actual name of the actual thing. The newest episode is Children of the Matrix with Aaron Lane. So go over to Tom Fulory. That's T-O-M-E-F-O-O-L-E-R-Y dot com. And listen to this great show. And tell them we sent you and tell them they're welcome.

Well, like and apologize. You know, Tom is like a book. They didn't just like spell Tom Fulory like wick. It's super. Tom Fulory dot com was taken and they're like, well, what do we throw any in there? Well, if we throw any, it's like a book thing. Anyway, check that out. They're on Facebook slash Tom Fulory.

They're also on iTunes. All right, I'm done. You guys do this next one. I'm done. I'm out. I'm done. This next one's for Justin from his brothers Travis and Griffin. Dear Justin, we're sorry for making fun of your literacy.

Love your brothers. It's not a letter. He's like pulling the literate. This message is a special message and it's for Pauline from Brandon, who is the nice boy who lives with her. Who hopefully you're aware of. Hopefully you. Oh, God, that raccoons back in the crawl space.

This special message is coming from inside the house and it says, to my favorite partner, thanks for hanging out with me for almost three years. If there's a day when you haven't made me laugh, I don't remember it. Thanks for turning me on. I'm a bim bam and Merry Christmas or Happy New Year or Happy Valentine's Day, depending on when the macaroons get around to reading this. Nice. It's burned.

Yeah, that is painful and accurate. I will need some salve for the burn. Severe burn. Brandon, sorry we said that you were a monster living in Pauline's mirrors. That only helps out when she turns her back. We were sorry about that that I just said. And we hope you guys have a great holiday. Great Hanukkah.

Happy Hanukkah. Happy Christmas to you guys. Breaking news. January is one of the biggest months ever for the Maximum Fun.org Network. We're launching four new shows. Yes, four, four new shows. So much stuff to listen to. The first new Maxfun show is Oh No, Ross and Kerry.

They join fringe religious groups, undergo alternative medicine treatments, and investigate the paranormal. Also, you don't have to. Your new late night best friends are Jasper Redd and Kimberly Clark. And their new Maxfun show is called The Goose Down. Not to be missed. Also coming to Maxfun in January, Song Exploder. It's a podcast that talks to musicians about their songs

and deconstructs how they were put together. And our fourth new show is Lady to Lady, a weekly talk show with Tess Barker, Brandy Posey, and Barbara Gray. It's like the view if the view was a good thing. And one final announcement. Dave Holmes, the great Dave Holmes from television, is joining the network as the new host of our funniest heck international quiz show, International Waters.

It's going to be a great year for maximum fun. You can check out all our new shows at maximumfun.org or wherever you find your podcasts. Uh, here's another question. Now, how about a Yahoo? Yeah, sure. Yahoo's line around. Yeah, I got a Yahoo.

This one was sent in by John Williams. Thanks, John. It's by Yahoo. It's your user, Ben, who asks, what bear is best and why? God, don't get me started. What bear is best and why? It lists black bear, grizzly. Well, let's take these one at a time.

Black bear, official bear, official animal of West Virginia. Pretty great. Pretty hard to beat. You know what he loves? What? He loves berries. That's not a pun or a play on words. Like, that might have if I could do love him some berries.

Okay. Um, grizzly. Like grizzly atoms. Oh, I think like the bear. Yeah, like grizzly atoms. I think they're asking about bears, so. Oh, grizzly atoms is like a bear of a man. We're getting into semantics.

I don't think we should. And why do you think so? So, like, these person only listed just the two bears. I don't know if they want us to decide between black bear and grizzly, because that's a pretty easy one, black bear. My favorite kind of bear is poo bears. Because like me, we both enjoy smackerels of honey. Chaps is trying to take us back to the days of Christopher Robinamp.

Poo. The great thing about black bears versus the great thing about Travis is always singing this song because he knows it makes me cry every time. They did this to me before. Please don't. I'm serious. I'll cry. They did this to me before Griffin's wedding.

And then everybody thought I was crying about happiness. Now it's no longer fair use. Hold on, it's not fair use anymore. There's fair use up until the bees. They had a good run. I think the good thing about black bears versus grizzly bears is that black bear didn't eat grizzly man. That's true.

And grizzly bears are going to have a hard time getting that one off their record. It's right there in the name. I like the polar bear. They're pretty good, I guess. I saw polar bears. They're hair is in white. It's translucent. I mean, if we're done with jokes for a bit, I'm a big sun bear fan.

Those guys with their long claws and their little faces. I also like the Kodiak because it's like 10 feet tall. That's a pretty horrifying bear. Is that the bear that was in that movie with... Oh God. You know, where they're like on the river? And they're like, there's a bear that just won't leave them the fuck alone and they eat that dude from Lost.

They don't eat it. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Man, this story, guys, it's getting away from me. There's a bear that eats the guy from Lost. Michael eats Michael from Lost. And then there's that older guy. And then I want to say, anyway... Wow, when you said we were done with jokes, you meant for the whole show.

I need to remember the name of either of the actors in The Edge. I, it's Hulk Baldwin and Anthony Hopkins. You couldn't fucking help a brother. You couldn't fucking step in and be like, let me get this for you. You were doing so well by yourself. I like a koala bear because it's not a bear. And that's gotta be awkward. It's a Marmaduke.

We can do this for hours and hours and hours. And we'll have a great time doing that. And so will the listeners. I think we need to come up with some metrics. I think we need to boil it down to who would win in a fight. Okay, so we have to eliminate human bears. Bear grills, Grizzly Adams. Yeah, because the, sorry, like bear grills.

Kodiak Jack. Bear grills is okay, but Kangaroo Jack. Kangaroo is the type of bear. Now, would Gentle Ben be eliminated just by the fact that he's so gentle? He's not going in any fights. Too gentle, too gentle. Are we looking for a species of bear that is the most dangerous? Let's sit, let's sit here.

And let's each come up with a bear represent, an ear sign representative. That we can then see, pick against each other. And we'll like, we'll, we'll role play it out. We'll do a bit of bear role playing. And then we'll see, we'll see who comes out the victor. Okay. I know what mine is. It's like, I, I sort of came prepared.

Okay, what's your bear? I mean, I don't want to say mine first. Because then what if you like figure out the strength level, the power level of my bear? You qualify. What if we've already named all the bear ones? I've got mine. I've got mine. Travis has his.

Justin, you need a minute. Okay. Just our species are a specific bear. Bear, the most powerful bear. Okay, you guys go first. Okay, Travis. Wait, I didn't, I need to hear your bear. Now, should we say our bears at the same time?

Yeah. All right. I'll say, I'll say my bear and then you say yours right after. So you don't have time to like, like change, change. Okay. You ready? Ursa Major. Teddy Rockspin.

Okay. So Teddy Rockspin has flung into one of the many stars that compose Ursa Major. And his barn is today. Listen, I knew as soon as you said it, Griffin, but we specifically said no cheating. So I wasn't going to deviate from my previous course. Is it cheating or is it the most powerful bear that there is? Because it's celestial? I feel like the rules are pretty clear about what we were looking for.

So what's the best kind of bear? Star bear. Yeah, star bear. Can't really beat that. Star bear is the best. Justin, I guess you have a pretty good opportunity here to think of what beats a bunch of stars. It's one star.

It's one star. Ursa Major is one star. I think it's a bunch of stars. No, it's one. It's the North Star. It's not the North Star. Hachimachi. I'm almost certain it's the North Star.

It is most certainly not. It's in all the ancient texts. Let me get on my astrolabe. I proved both you fucks wrong. Oh, yeah. I got guys. I'm looking at my lab right now. It's a bunch of stars.

It's a bunch of stars. It's like six. It's like six to eight stars. OK, I have something on the season. I have something that can beat your bear. My bear is one to eight stars. So let's see what you got. Hot shot.

All right. How about the brightest star in the Hannah Barbera Galaxy, Mr. Yogi Bear? Hey, Boo Boo. That one is even especially outside the box. Hey, Boo Boo Boy. I certainly like picnic baskets. Here's the thing about Yogi Bear that you didn't think about.

He eats stars for power. He eats the stupidest galactus. Yogi Bear system killer. Yogi Bear's star eater. He is something that you don't know about Yogi Bear is that he's 56 years old. No bear has ever been that old. So we have to assume that Yogi Bear is immortal.

So from that, if you were to extend that out, then even stars burn out. But Yogi Bear's present. Yogi Bear will be there after the star has winked out of existence. Yeah. The stars wink out of existence and who still stands strong. I don't care how many movies they throw at him. Yogi Bear, still.

Okay. If ours. Okay, but the fact that Teddy Ruxpin is an android doesn't come into effect. Burned. Burned. There's not an android that you can throw into a star that's going to survive that shit.

Just can't happen. There's no substance that it's certainly not Teddy Ruxpin, whatever he's made of, felt. Burned to death. Justin has a pretty good argument, actually, with this eternal cartoon bear. Thank you. Which is funny because I feel like this is a Rock, Paper, Scissors thing

because I feel like cyborg bear could be Yogi Bear. This is the new Rock, Paper, Scissors is what you're saying. We need to put some brand on this. Erson Major, Teddy Ruxpin, Yogi Bear. I actually have a problem with what Travis is saying because much like the legend of some people and characters from history will outlive them even if he killed Yogi Bear, Yogi Bear. If he struck Yogi Bear down, as I'm saying,

he would arise more powerful than your cyborg bear could possibly imagine. Mainly because your cyborg bear doesn't have a soul, which if there's one thing Yogi Bear certainly does, it's a lot of heart. Okay. Let me pitch this situation. One of the stars up in Erson Major goes Rogue. Yes. Like in that Lars von Trier movie, the name of which escapes me.

Rogue Star. Rogue Star. I think it was a planet in that movie. I think it was called Super Sadness. This star comes flung from Erson Major, travels at the speed of light, destroys our solar system, just burns it all up. Burns up every Teddy Ruxpin doll that was ever produced, burns up all the celluloid and every person that ever watched an episode of Yogi Bear,

it burns up Hannibal Bearland in Kings Island, just destroys the whole thing. And there's nobody left to carry on these two legacies. Okay. Let me counterpoint. Okay. As that's happening, Teddy Ruxpin learns to forgive and thereby wins a moral victory. But Teddy Ruxpin has been evaporated. Teddy Ruxpin, yes, but he was able to forgive Erson Major,

and so he is the victor in the competition. The problem is we've been broadcasting Yogi Bear cartoons for over 50 years now. They've been done every fucking radio broadcast. Ruxpin had a cartoon. Yes. Ruxpin had a cartoon. Okay. Yeah, but they were predated by, like I'm saying by the time Yogi Bear reaches Betelgeuse,

the planet, the, those, no, sorry. Yes, it's a plant. Well, it's super, super not. Okay. One of the planets around Betelgeuse, you know what I'm saying? So once, once the broadcast from Yogi Bear hits them, it's the only message they've ever received. They think of Yogi Bear as a deity.

So that time your Teddy Ruxpin signal arrives at the planet near Betelgeuse. Oh my God. You'll see in the Bear Antichrist. He will be a heretic, is what I'm referring to. There will be a Splinter Group. False Bear. Be False Bear. There will be a Splinter Group of Betelgeuseans that adopt him as their God.

There's a horrible, horrible civil war that breaks out on this bit. Oh no. What's that in the sky? It's Ursa Major's Butt Star. I win again, motherfuckers. 2-0. 2-0-0. Do you think they would think that way?

So the stars become sentient and it's seeking out any remnants of Yogi Bear to grasp it in the galaxy. This is how the universe ends. Not with a bang, but with a new boo boo. The problem is that by the time that the Betelgeuse planet has already adopted Yogi Bear as its personal savior, they've already built a giant picnic basket shaped communications tower where they've started beaming out the message, the word, to all the other galaxies. You will never, you can't stop the signal. You will never catch the myth of Yogi Bear.

It's moving at light speed in every direction of the galaxy. There's no way that it can be caught. Except by the ranger. The only thing you could do, maybe, I would grant you this Griffin and this is more than I should do for you because you have not earned this, but the only thing that your sentient star could do, or sorry, your sentient collection of stars, is if one of them were to volunteer to collapse, and in doing so, perhaps, create some sort of possibility of time travel that would allow them to go back in time and kill William Hanna and Joseph Barbera.

So one of the, wait, so one of the stars collapses, allowing the other stars to go back for to kill Hanna and Barbera. Hanna and Barbera, one day, while beginning to do the sketches. That would first, hey, I have an idea. This is my favorite Doctor Who episode. Tell me about your idea, Hanna. Man, it's totally sick. What if there's Jelly Stone Park, and there's like Bear, Super Hungry, got a little friend,

Rangers kind of. He's kind of like Ed Norton on The Honeymooners? Mm-hmm. What do you think? I think that's great. And can I tell you how much I love this open office space that we have with the skylight? Hey, look up through the skylight. There's a singularity in the clouds.

25 stars come storming in like, what's up? Heretic. Now, here's the problem, though. Shit. One of the stars has to agree to collapse, and you know how stars are. Yeah, that's true. They are not going to be thinking big picture. No.

They're going to think, well, not me. So you know what happened? What about, what about Daryl, the star? 25. He could collapse. He's the last one to join up in the constellation. Lots of people don't even count. Without Daryl, it's just a bear with a shorter tail.

25 of the other stars murder one of the other stars, and that is where sin came from. That's original sin. When you read about original sin in the Bible, that's what it's talking about. That's amazing. I am glad that we were able to really play out this whole scenario. I do not know who won. I think it was mine, because I killed Hannah Barbera. Still not as weird as Scientology, though, which is surprising.

Man, we did that for like 30 minutes. Where do you go from there? I think we have to stop. Let's do one more regular question. Okay. I'm getting married within weeks, and I want to make my wedding night a special one for my soon-to-be husband. I'm not interested in making it a hypersexual experience.

I want to do something more interesting. Any ideas? You'll give me a cosplay. Yeah, I'll give you a cosplay. That sounds pretty hypersexual to me. How, how like, oh man, do you think this person has like gone through systematically the extreme restraints library, the extreme restraints catalog, and has exhausted every product on there? Like, uh, sex is just so passe for me.

No, maybe she's not. She doesn't want it to be all about sex. Maybe she wants me to get about like the emotional magic of like, now we are one, now we are bonded, now we are forever in love. Anything that you do, you are going to run the risk of making him feel guilty that he did not also do something. If you put together like a photo collage of like your greatest moments, all your greatest hits, then he's going to just look around the room and be like, I got your hotel soap.

I got this for you, a special reminds me of, remember that hotel we stayed at? That one time the night we got married, I saved the soap. That is an excellent point. No matter what, get a hotel room. Even if you're like getting married next door to your house, get a hotel room. Do not go home. Yeah, don't go home. That will make it special.

Location is important. So find a place where you can maybe get a nice suite. Don't make it about sex. Make it about relaxing. Get a suite with like a nice jacuzzi tub in it and get some card books. Order some fancy cocktails. Get a gravy hose and then if you do decide to turn up the sex, then you have that just like on hand.

You got the gravy already there. You can do a gravy in the jacuzzi bath, turn on the jets, get gravy jets and then just see where the mood takes you. I can tell you where the mood is going to take you when there's gravy jets in play. To golden crown. Right to the golden crown. Right to golden crown. Get a nice room.

Make it about relaxing together because you guys are going to be so exhausted. You just plan a wedding. You just met everybody you've ever known. And they've all seen, you know, told you how happy they were for you. That's emotionally exhausting. Just make it like a nice relaxing time. I mean, to reason I wrapped up in robes and watched like HGTV while we ate chocolate covered strawberries and drank champagne.

Perfect. And then you got and then you and then you had sex. I don't want to talk about this. Did you not Justin, did you not like express yourself sexually? I would rather talk about anything, including Darfur. It's there's a there's a you have to like have a conceptual release and like a consensual release and a physical release. You have to have three different releases on your wedding night,

because it's like symbolic and it's like a press release. It's like love. Well, you do that the next morning when your aunt is like, so how was it? Date line. I had sex breaking over the wire last night. Jim Parsons had sex. I didn't mean to summon up the star of Big Bang Theory. Jesus, I've got a big, I've got a big bang theory.

He had sex last night. Guys, this has been a very enjoyable time that I've enjoyed having with you until Griffin tried to go to us into talking about sex. I don't want to hear about like your sex lives. I just want to know. It's your sex day. I just want to know that you you indulged in the carnal the the the carnal release. Does it make it easier to talk about when we say carnal release?

I think Justin is dead. So I don't think it made it much easier. You guys are breaking up for a bit, but now you're back. We're talking about carnal release. I don't want to do that now. Okay. We do have a lot to talk about though. So let's let's wrap it up like one would before they have sex.

Gross. Thank you to everybody tweeting about the show. Why say sex gross? What? No, it's just talking about sex with you guys is gross. Makes me sad. Thanks to everybody tweeting about the show like Adam, Steve Lewis, Garnett Braul, Ryan Miller, Scratchy TK, Armaline, Byron Wesley Chan,

Harky of Fair Eyes, Sean McNally, Nanners, James Galbraith. Thank you so much for for tweeting about our show. If you want to tweet about us to tell everybody that you're listening to our show, then you could tweet using the Mbembe hashtag and include a link to our Sampler right on you, bit.ly4 slash it's Mbembeam or bit.ly4 slash Mbembeam 2013. Also thanks to everybody who's sending questions this week. If you would like to send a quote, if you have a pressing query for the Brothers McIlroy, you can send it to mbmbam at gmail.com or mbmbam at maxmaximumfun.com.

Nope. You fucked up. Maximumfun.org. Yep. Fuck. Yahoo Answers. We do accept those. Like every Yahoo Answers I read at this point are user submitted and they're so great.

And thank everybody. Thank you. Thank you for sending those in. Well is drying up a bit. So now is the perfect time to submit those. Just shoot them to either of those email addresses. And I read every one and I peruse them. So yeah, send them in.

Might get them on the show. Again, please keep them out of like scatological or incestual territories unless they're like kind of if it's fun. If there's like if it's like fun scat. Fun. Like fun zest. Yeah. Like if it's just like trying to be gross, like I don't, homie I'll play that.

Otherwise, otherwise it's good to go. And thank you for sending those in. And God, there's a lot of things to talk about. Thank you to John Roderick in the long winters for the use of our theme song. It's a departure, which is on the album, Putting the Days to Bed. It's a terrific album. I was just listening to John Roderick and Jonathan Colton's Christmas album, which is which is similarly great.

We don't have a theme song off that album, but it's it's good too. Also, make sure you listen to all the other Maximum Fun podcasts. We just got five brand new four brand new shows and one brand new host. They're so great. What have you guys been? They're all really great. I was redoing my office last week and I listened to listen to all of them, like I wouldn't recommend all of them, but especially I really liked Song Exploder,

which is very good, which is a very, very brief thing. It's like 11 minutes podcast where they take songs apart and talk about how they made them. I also really like the goose down is is super, super funny. So check them out. I haven't got a chance. Is it Ono Ross and Kerry? Ono Ross and Kerry is another good one. Are they talk about the concept of it to me?

I haven't got a chance to listen to it yet, but it looks fascinating. I can't wait to listen. You would like it. It's almost like a mix of like saw bones in case of emergency. It's yeah. They explore like French science and religious groups and they join cults and everything. It sounds really cool.

Yeah, they're all really good. Check them all out. This week, I've also been listening to myself on Wham Bam Pow with Cameron Esposito, Rihobacher and Ricky Garamona, also of the Maximum Fun family. So make sure you check it out. I'm super great on the episode, you guys. So check it out. It's this week's episode.

Don't miss it. Thank you so much for listening to our program. We hope you'll join us again next week for another episode. Oh, also, I just remembered, if you're in the Cincinnati area, I'm going to be in Hamlet at the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company. Dr. Plugs over here. Well, listen, I'm doing a lot of cool things. A lot of big stuff happening for Travis Magray, 2014, looking pretty good so far.

But yeah, go to scentsieshakes.com and you can get all the info. And come see me in Hamlet and I'm awesome. He plays Hamlet. I don't. I play laertes. But I get to I will no spoilers. No spoilers. He's stabbing the tummy, doesn't he?

I said no spoilers. Okay. We also want to thank naturebox.com where you can order great tasting, healthy snacks, snacks, martyr in 24-word. You're ready and get fit to set up your first order. Go to naturebox.com and use the coupon code mybrother. All one word. Also, thanks to Hulu Plus, where you can binge on thousands of hit shows anytime,

anywhere, and you can get that free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to huluplus.com forward slash my brother. All one word, my brother. You sure it's a forward slash? Yes, Griffin. It's a forward slash. Okay. I just, you're not, you're not like hip to like HTML.

It's a forward, it's a. Griffin, give us the last question. We got a console, console, cowboy, and cyberspace. Last question. Sure. Thanks, Swordfish. This Yahoo answer is sent by Drew Davenport. Thank you, Drew.

It's by Yahoo Answers user DLocka who asks, How is your father? Is he good? I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad.

School, where are the lips? Why don't you say, hey, I want it. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Hello, my name is Gray. I'm Clark.

My name is Dave Shumka. Together we host a show called Stop Podcasting Yourself. We're from Canada. Oh, whoa, whoa. Don't hang up. Don't hang up. And every week we're lucky enough to be joined by a guest, sometimes a comedian, or sometimes just somebody that we like,

and somebody probably you've never heard of. But trust us. If you followed us this far into the promo, just try it out, please. Do we sound too desperate? Stop podcasting yourself on Maximumfun.org.