My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 184: YOLT

Episode Date: January 21, 2014

Just read those suggested talking points. Are you brave enough to face off against this episode? Gird your loins, because it goes off the rails in like, minute two, and it never really gets back on them. Suggested talking points: Yes And, Jack Bauer Food Poisoning, Drake's Secret Second Torso, The Life of Pie, Camelbak Love, Shoogle.Lycos.Angelfire.net, Jackson Galaxy's Kissing Rollercoaster, Judge Reinhold Receives Poor Service From a P.F. Chang's

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello and welcome to My Brother, My Brother Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother, Travis McElroy. And I'm your baby baby baby Griffin McElroy. This week, Travis told me that we've been overthinking intros that we don't need to keep planning. We're always having this conversation about

current events right before. And maybe there's, and he said just start running. You know, that is a complaint that we get probably more than any other complaint, which is that our intros are too thought out and overproduced. They have too strong a sense of direction, almost as though they'd been written for us ahead of time by Bruce Valanche, which of course, everything we say on the show is, it just kind of ruins the mystery of it all. So I feel like, you know, let me just look for some material. There's no reason to like, overthink this. Just look around your room, pick an assortment of objects. Okay. You know what? I love this. This is sort of a freestyle. It's like somebody give me,

somebody give me like an action, you know, something that people are doing every day. Uh, euthanasia, euthanasia. Okay. Great. Someone give me a noun, you know, something to work. Colin Mockery. Colin Mockery. Okay. This is good so far. So far I got euthanasia, Colin Mockery. Now I just need a musical style that I can set this to. Anything at all. Let me just hear the first thing. Gregorian chant. Okay. Anything. Just shout it out. He already said it and it was perfect. Okay. So here we go with that. Here is some improvisational comedy from the masters of improv comedy. My brother, my brother, my man. Okay. Hold on. Here it comes. Colin Mockery. Your time has come. Freeze.

Hey, hey, Gov. Can I borrow a biscuit? I'm a Gregorian. No, I said freeze, Justin. You should say yes and you don't go back to the thing you already did. You don't fucking go back to the safety of like the perfect goose you already created. We have to create new. We're constantly destroying and creating. That is part of improv comedy. Okay. All right. No problem, Governor. I'm a Gregorian monk, Colin Mockery. You're doing the same fucking thing that we just did. It's all about destroying your art from before and creating. Kill your. Freeze. I didn't have something better. I just needed a time to think. Okay. That's not really how freeze works. Travis, freeze. I gov, would you fancy a biscuit?

Okay. You're just doing the same fucking things. No, I hadn't done that before. That's new. That improv comedy is easy. I don't know why. I don't know what Drew Kerry was giving people points for. So this is my brother, my brother, me. It's a comedy advice show. When we told, we've told people before it's a comedy advice show and they say, so you wait, you give advice to comedians and I was like, well, now we do. Now we do. Here's how you improv fools. Listen up. That's how you improv. Listen, pay us $50,000 a month and you can move up improv comedy levels. Right now I'm level four and if I want to move up, I have to test out, but I also have to pay another $50,000. There's also a significant amount of auditing.

A lot of auditing. I mean, that's basically all. And lots of auders. There's so many auders, you guys. So many auders. See, that there was improv comedy on Travis's behalf. Improv is basically when you think of something and then you just say it. What improv comedy is, basically, it's talking without thinking about what you're saying. So basically, everything Travis has ever done or said has been improv comedy. Basically, you know how words are usually used to communicate ideas, thoughts, that kind of thing. What improv comedy does is it takes that away and it says, what if it was just noise? Let me suggest this because this is what I do. Pretend like you have an audience of one and it's yourself and don't

worry about anyone else and just try to make yourself laugh and say things you think are clever. Just think like, what would I like? We just do that. I love the image of Travis standing in a alone in a nightclub with Travis, another Travis, maybe like a slightly older Merwizan Travis sitting alone at a table with a bourbon. Just you can hear him call out from the back. Make more fart noises. And then maybe they meet up after the show. They have a couple drinks and they realize that they have a lot in common and, you know, they just see where the night takes them. Let's get to the advice. I've studied abroad in the UK and since coming home, I've been really depressed. I loved everything about living there and all the adventures I got

to have on a daily basis without the responsibilities and the difficult classes or a job. It was the best time of my life. Being home in Texas now seems dull and America's troubles just make me want to pick up and move there. But I can't leave my family and friends. I've been trying to use my experience to open my eyes to the greatness of my own home without much luck. Can you help me find my love of America and get over this study abroad withdrawal? And that's from Gmail. Is it possible that it's maybe it has nothing to do with the place so much as it does the experience? Like it was a really super fun, wonderful thing. And it's like, yeah, of course you're going to be, vacation is great and everybody wishes they could live on vacation all the time,

but you can't. If you lived in the UK all your life and then you went to visit somewhere else, you would love that place too. It's new and different. You miss it. Here's the thing about studying abroad, right? You go to another place where you don't know anybody. You know that whatever you do there, A, your time is finite and B, the things that you don't have to put down roots or try to figure out some of the bigger questions. You just live moment to moment. Let me tell you what you were doing for that time you're studying abroad in the UK. You lived like you were dying. Indeed. You went skydiving. You went Rocky Mountain climbing or maybe Stonehenge climbing either way. They don't like to do that. I don't think. You lived in a

way that you were free of the serious responsibilities that make day to day life as an adult such as just a slog, just a slog. Maybe that attitude is something that you could inject a little bit more into your day to day life in Tejas. And maybe you should just move out of Texas. Hey, shut the fuck up. Texas rules. I mean, unless you live in Austin. He probably does because, God, where else would you even live? Are there other towns here? Here's the thing. You guys touched on it. If you lived in the UK, imagine you lived in your whole life and you came to America and you ate a hot dog and you were like, fuck, I'm moving here because that's sort of our main tourism is hot dogs. We have a hot dog.

Hot dogs and aquariums. Right. I've thought this about almost every place, not every place, but almost every place I've ever taken a vacation at. When we go to Tybee Island near Savannah, I think, oh my God, I could totally live here or Austin. Oh my God, I could totally live here. But the thing is what you're doing is basically like for a few days, you're living a life where all you have to do is worry about entertaining yourself and having fun. Right. And like, yeah, that's going to be pretty addictive. Let me throw this out. It's like you're watching a TV show, right? In which the characters always having the fun, happy or like action packed, exciting times. But what you don't see is them going to the grocery store. You don't see them like.

Yeah. Jack Bauer never poops on 24. He never like eats. He never like eats some really foul nachos in like episode three and then episode six. He's like, I'll help you right back. And then. Although I don't know. Think of your time there. But think of your time there is like an episode of the television show in which all you had was the highlights. You're right. And then you come back and it's shitty 24. Literally. I hope that they incorporate that into the new season. I think that that's must see TV because like you'll you'll see one episode and you'll be like, I haven't seen Jack Bauer in like two entire episodes. What the fuck. And then you find out the end of episode eight. He has really bad food poisoning. He is

not going to be a major character in this one. I wish in this modern era we probably if 24 was on the air right now. And I know it's coming back, but if it was on the air right this moment, I think there would probably be a web series after that was like the next 24. And it's just Jack Bauer sleeping for 14 hours and catching up on down now. I'm so tired. I'm getting tired. Waiting for time. Waiting for ties the whole episode. God, is it going to get there? Is it going to get there before Doughton comes on? God, I hope so. What about just a whole season of just him like oversleeping for the first like five hours? And I was like, Oh my God, everything's going to shit. And there's bombs going on. Where's Jack? Where's Jack? I haven't

seen him in a while. Listen, he had really bad food poisoning yesterday. He's plum-tuckered. Will you get off his case? He just shit his guts out last season, which was yesterday. Maybe you could calm down for a second. Jack, it's Chloe. We need you to bring down the terrorists who finally, Chloe, damn it. Can you bring him here? Can he come here? I'm still in my cookie pants. Can you please bring him here? I'm not even didn't shave. Feel a bit. Can it wait till tomorrow? I've sort of told myself, I'm just going to kind of put her around today. You know how you put her to try to get your strength back up? Chloe, I got, I got a diarrhea. Why does he get diarrhea every time? Why do we want to see Kiefer Sutherland just like

spewing his guts out? Why does that something that fascinates us? I think it's because he's so strong. He's such a strong stoic. Because there can't, there can't be heroes anymore, Griffin. I guess it's true. We as a society cannot allow heroes and we must watch them poop. You guys want a yahoo? Here in America, we just want to watch our heroes poop. Here's the other thing. The UK's great. Every time I go there, I feel like I want to get back there, got to get my paper right and I'm on that hustle constantly just to try to get back over the UK because I've had a great time every time. But every time I've been there, I've also been on vacation. So I don't know. Just get a highlight reel really. Hang in there. You'll find, you'll

find it again. Or you know what? Just move. I don't think you can move to the, I don't think you're allowed to just like move to another country. No, it's a one in one out kind of thing. You got to convince them in the UK to move here. Just wait until the next time you see Russell Brown on TV. Ask him to please stay put for a little while and then then get back over there. Sounds pretty easy. Here's a yahoo answer. This yahoo answer was sent in by Dan Yowell. Thanks Dan. It's by Yahoo Answers User Hook who asks, I'm I cursed? Or is 2014 cursed? I'm I cursed? Or is 2014 cursed? I failed in my college. And just yesterday, I had accident and it's cost me a lot. $2,500. My new car, it's Hyundai Elantra

2013. And I don't know, and I don't know what to do. And I was planned to buy a new phone, but now I can't. Anyone have a lot of money and want to give me? First off, yes. How much do you need? You are prom. This is a promising investment. I've been watching a lot of Shark Tank lately and I've been able, I've learned to identify when there's a promising. So what's, what's your business? I just failed out of college. I'm pretty sure that the year that we are in is cursed. Can you float me like four grand? Yep. I know what, here's what I'm going to need. I'm going to need 50 cents for every car that you wreck until I get my money back and then I'm going to need a quarter

in perpetuity. I don't need a portion of your business. I actually would like to stay out of the you business if at all possible. And we're going to need does not seem super promising. I'd like to be in charge of the branding. So just like call yourself Justin McElroy from now on. Is that something we can negotiate? And what I'm going to do is I'm going to take the story and I'm going to license it. I'm going to take it to Black and Decker. You know, I'm going to take it. Fuck that. I'm going to take it to, I'm going to take it to fucking George Clooney and it's going to be his next film. Is the story of, it'll, it'll be called A Cursed Year and it will start. Who else George Clooney? Well, that's great because you get in a car accident and you call somebody

like, I was in a car accident, like, oh my God, are you okay? And like, yeah, I mean, it's just like $2,500 of damage. It's not even that serious, but still like bummer. And I was going to get that phone, you know, but music swells, tears, tears, tears. You're joking, but there are whole episode arcs on the OC that are far less dramatic than this. This could have a potential on, on, on television. Guys, it's 2014. It's 2014 fucking Kurt. I know we talked about 24 and like everything's great, but like, I don't, what it, like, this person's having like a shitty day to Good Rick Day ratio so far. 2014 has not been working in this dude's favor. What it seems to me is that in 2013, it all kind of spread around and everybody

got like 1% of it, right? Maybe in 2014, it's just a dump on this guy and everybody else is going to have a banner year, right? Because all the shit has just been funneled. Just been funneled into this one person. Yeah, he's the job of our generation. He's taking on all of it so we can have a great 2014. God and the devil have an agreement about Job 2.0. You're saying Job in the biblical sense, not in the arrested development sense. Yes. Okay. Yeah, everybody thinks a great way to close out New Year's Eve is by taunting Romani's. That's not, that's not ideal. You think, you think it's going to work out. You think it's going to be a real lark for you and your friends. It's going to be a laugh, but like that laugh is going to cost, you're going to be haunted by a

satyr or something. Yeah, you don't, you don't want to do that. Don't taunt people. Stop taunting people, please. And don't drink and drive and run over people's daughters. Oh my God. In my case here. Well, that's like good fucking advice and like in general, Trav. That's fair. I mean, that's also just a bad way to start 2014 is to kill someone. Yeah, I would say it's bad. I don't believe in curses that I believe in is you make your own. You make your own curse, right? You make your own curse in this life. And by the, and this guy made his by taunting Romani on New Year's Eve. You can't, you can't get away with that. This guy taunted Ray Romano on New Year's Eve. Ray Romano is a treasure who got a bad rap for doing comedy that was broadly enjoyable,

as if that's some sort of crime. I'm, I feel bad about this guy because like 2014 is, for me, been pretty good. For me, I guess it's all subjective, isn't it? Because for me, it's not cursed. It's, I would say I'm having a, hey guys, have a, have a blessed year. That's something I'm going to start saying to people. Let me throw this out though. Okay. You got in a car and said, I can see where that's a horrible twist of luck. You fail out of college? That's not like a sudden thing that happened in 2014. We've only been in 2014 for three weeks. But the only class he was taking was safe driving 101. That's the problem. This is past fail advanced calculus one week edition. Here we go. Nope.

You got one question wrong. Get the fuck out of here. Drive safe. You're out of school. You're out of say, listen, this sucks. It's a bad term, but hey, have a blessed year. And be careful as you walk out. We've seen Romani on the lawn. Do you like how we have tried to be more sensitive by not referring to Romani as gypsies, but still clinging to the idea that Romani's are people that will curse you? Yeah, we're the worst. We're the pits. I love them. I think they're great people. You notice having a good 2014 is Drake. Drake was on SNL. Drake is half Jewish, half black, half Romani. Well, he's one and a half man.

That's why he has that extra torso coming out of his butt and that has a second person that he keeps inside the big jackets. You always see Drake and he's wearing a big puffy jacket and you wonder, why is that? He seems like a pretty trim dude. You think he'd dress in a sort of more metro fashion, but no, he has a second torso that comes out of the base of his spine and he has to keep it inside of his clothes. It used to be great. It used to be able to fold it back on itself and wear Jinko jeans, but nobody can really wear Jinko jeans anymore. I have to be honest. I spaced out for the beginning of that bit and it got pretty bizarre there in the middle. You know who else gets bizarre in the middle? Drake,

because he has a second torso that comes out of his ass. Sidney looked at me after Sidney was a huge Degrassi fan, which of course everybody knows. Fucking Drake. That human being is bulletproof. That motherfucker got to be the kid in a wheelchair on Degrassi and not in a wheelchair the whole time. Obviously, Jimmy was shot in that one episode in the school shooting episode. Making him literally bulletproof. I guess now he's not super bulletproof. Not super bulletproof. He's still a resilient. She was penetrated by a bullet, which had some adverse effects on him. And then he's going to be a rapper. Do you know how hard it is for regular people to

establish rapper cred? Like to get cred and believability as a rapper? This motherfucker, we saw his adolescence. He was on Canadian TV. Like you can't snap back from that, but somehow Drake has made a living as a rapper. Like he's rapping as if he is not also Jimmy from Degrassi. After the episode, after the episode of S&L, Sidney looks at me and says, I'm proud of Drake. What? She said, I'm proud of Drake. Do you think Drake knows when, whenever anybody in the world says that and it's like a little bell rings, and he's like, Oh, all right. Working my way back. Yolo, I guess. He came up with Yolo. That's another thing. Did he really? Yes. Drake invented Yolo. Oh, great. Now someone's googling.

He popularized it. I don't know if he invented it. He said on S&L, he said, I invented Yolo. Actually, Mae West was the first person to say Yolo. This is true. Mae West did not say Yolo. Mae West, popular, popular actor of the, of the early 1900s, invented Yolo. She didn't say Yolo. She said, you only live once, but that's. Yeah, but it's 2014. Up until then, everybody lived as much as they wanted to. And Mae West brought down the judgment and said, if I'm now on, you only live once and everyone panicked. As everyone knows, the stock market crashed. Mae West was halfway. So she got to decide the fate of humanity. That makes sense. Yeah. Do you think you think Drake, while he was doing Degrassi, somebody came up to him and was

like, Hey, Drake, can I tell you something that Mae West once told me? You only live once. And he was like, fuck, I thought I would get like another go around on my second tour. So I thought I would get like a second life. I've been wasting all this time doing Canadian teen dramas. Yeah. Drake got to be on a Canadian teen drama called Degrassi. And then after that, he got to be a rapper named Drake. If anybody should not be preaching to me about how we only have one life, is Drake. That motherfucker has obviously at this point lived two very distinct lives. YOLT. YOLT. YOLT. YOLT. YOLT. YOLT. YOLT. YOLT. YOLT. That's fine, but YOLO. I think it would actually, it'll be like Odelt, which is only Drake lives twice.

Nobody else can even try it. How about another question? Our question like goof ratio has been pretty bad. It's, it's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. We're just, everybody else gets the day off. I don't know why we can't take the day off from being topical or funny. I think we've done a pretty good job so far. Like others, my grandmother makes cookies and other goods. One problem. She often uses expired ingredients to make the food, saying that the new food has its own expiration. Hold the goddamn phone. Moment. You're saying like if she uses some rotten ass like eggs that she found in a mummy's crypt and then like bakes that into a pie, she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't even

worry about it. Now it's. It's been reborn. Refresh the clock on this pie. You think those eggs are like, oh guys, guys, guys, we're pie now. All right, started over. Started over. Germs, germ bacteria. You guys get out of here. We're starting fresh. It's got to be a stressful thing as an egg though. You get this new lease on life as pie and then you have to hope that you're, you're, you start racking your egg brain like, what else could pie be? She could transform the pie into maybe a smoothie. Can you put us in a blender please? And then you just take that smoothie poured into another pie. That's actually what the movie life of pie is about. And also what the miracle of Hanukkah was.

A lot of people don't don't know that. That's what that was. That part's not true. Do you want to finish the question? Yes. My family won't confront her about it and even said she's right. What the fuck are you doing? You need to emancipate your family's fucking crazy. Am I right in thinking this is disgusting and wrong? And if so, how do I get my family to stop eating her food or get her to stop? That's from Nana's Nasty Nibbles and Naga Doches. Hey, here's a fun game. Nacog Doches. Here's a fun game. Wait till you're in the middle of a crowded room and then just patiently lean forward and say, Hey, my grandmother cooks with expired food and then lean back and watch everybody react and go, okay, yes, I am a hundred percent correct. No, no one in that bar, stranger

or no, will go, oh yeah, that's perfectly normal. She uses rolled out eggs and gross milk. Yeah, please just promise me one thing, question asked her. If you and your family have an intervention for your grandma over her old food and you get your old grandma and you get to shame her about using expired ingredients, please promise you'll invite me. I just need to be in the circle and where I can stand up and read my letter about how her use of expired ingredients has hurt me personally and how I care about it. It's hurt you in a very... If you're eating it, it'll hurt you. I'm not like a doctor and I'm probably not even very good at science, just like compared to the average person. But if you eat an old egg, you're going to get sick from

it probably. Here's the thing, listeners, here's what I don't need. I don't need any of you to email me and go, well, actually, because of the baking process, because the fact of the matter is she's using old ass eggs and old ass milk and I don't even let that shit in my house. No. Let alone in my cookies. Now, I feel like not a needs an advocate here. So I'm going to say the... I mean, you're cooking it. It is safe, like it's safe. It's gross. Wait, wait, no, hold on. Because this argument is starting to take a real turn for the worst, because you're saying if regardless of the age of the egg, if you apply enough heat to it, it will become safe to eat. Yeah. Unless she is cooking at 1200 degrees. That's right. If she's irradiating them,

then yes, I agree. There's no danger of anything. Like it's not dangerous. It's dangerous to your palate. It's going to taste like... You realize that you can cook food and still get food poisoning from it, right? That's not how that works, Travis. Oh, it is. In fact, how that works, Justin. That's not how it works. If you cook... Okay. I have my food handlers license. Okay. So everybody take a step back. Jesus. What did you get? Where did you... Olive Garden? What? Yes. Okay. I think that that food handlers license is no longer... I think you have to re-up that every, I don't know, decade.

Yeah, but I don't think the science on food handling has changed that much. Also, I don't think during your food handlers classes, they're like, yeah, don't even worry about it. Once you cook it, the clock resets on that one. No. I mean, we didn't cover that. I think that though, once you bake it and you kill all the bacteria... Justin, I want you to take a chicken cutlet, set it on the counter for three days. Wait, I got one here. Okay, set it on the counter for three days and then I want you to bake it at 350 degrees for 20 minutes and then I want to watch you eat it.

I would do that. I have enough weight. Bullshit. I would do that. I have enough patience. Let's do a quick edit. Let me leave some chicken out. Okay. Okay. I've got the chicken here. We're back. It's been three days. It's Thursday. Let me just... Yeah, I'm fine. Gosh, guys. Through the magic of radio, I've proven you're wrong. You ate that really fast. I'm worried about how quickly you're cooking it. I had to cut away some stuff. There wasn't a lot of salvageable meat left. It did largely decompose, but it was still delicious. A little dish on.

Delicious. I think you need to go to your old grandma and say, listen, you don't have much time left. You don't want to hasten that. Hey, come on. What are you supposed to say? Well, don't bring up her impending death. That's probably not a good way to start up any conversation ever. Oh, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys. Travis. What if she's using expired food as a metaphor for how she still has a purpose and they shouldn't put her in the home? Oh my God. She's trying to stay out of a home. She's sending a message like,

yeah, maybe these eggs are a little old, but that doesn't mean they're not still useful. Hey, hey, Nana, can I make a quick suggestio? If you can get none on the line real quick, make this point with anything else. Make it with all board games. Like, you know, this Scrabble may have a little dust on it, but it's still. We lost all the e-tiles, but it's still a pretty fun game. Reset the clock. EHS copy of Spaceballs, maybe a little cracky and a little staticky, but it's still pretty fun. Reset the clock. Reset the clock on these Spaceballs. These fresh Spaceballs now.

Oh, fuck. Put it in the DVD player. Like, meeps, we can't. We can't be. It's a VHS meeps. That movie's fucking definitely expired. Tried to watch it the other day. That shit gone bad. It went rancid. You watch that and you watch Men in Tights and you're like, oh, now I get it. Now I understand. Now, after you, Men in Tights is great. Yeah, sure. Sure. Here, eat these eggs, Travis. Eat these old eggs. Eat these old eggs. You're gonna love it.

I got some prime Florida real estate to sell you, my man. Audious Travis is like, yeah, he's right, though. Nailed it. He stuck it to him. You know what never goes bad? What? Money. I mean, it does. If it like defaults, like, I don't think there. Or if you like soak it in eggs. I think it's still legal tender, like forever. But I don't think they have to honor it.

Franks anymore. I think if you have Franks, they just like, they won't accept those. And hay pennies. And hay pennies, doubloons. Amazon. Amazon takes the blue. I was trying. Okay, guys, listen, I was trying to say money zone just now. And the word that came out of my mouth was Amazon. I had like a mini str- I'm worried. Can one of you get down here?

You ate that expired chicken and look at you. Your brain's shut. Guys, guys, we ain't get the magic school bus up in your face. We're wasting time. We need to get paid. Let's go to the puppy pool. All right. Let's let's go to the seven zone. I'm going to set it up. I mean, I'm keeping all that in the show. Let's go to Trinsolor.

Who's this first message for? This message is for Chris, who is apparently also known as the Phoenix. You can't just do that, Chris. You can't. Well, I mean, it's I don't think Chris wrote the message. In fact, it's from Nate, Brian, Chelsea, Jeremy, and Alicia or Alyssa. That's their gift. That's their gift to him. Yeah. Finally. Okay, fine.

Fine. You're the Phoenix. Fine. What do you want to be? Space Hawk? Sure. Fuck it. Whatever. Can't believe we won't see your beautiful, eggs filled face at the office anymore. You're a super hardworking, smart, and amazing writer, hilarious, spirited, and made the best coffee.

Your absurd sense of humor and habit of openly napping at your desk will be missed. Damn you for leaving. Damn you. But best of luck out there. That's for Nate, Brian, Chelsea, Jamie, and the least you know. Jeremy, not Jeremy. There is no Jamie. From Jeremy. Maybe there's a Jamie at the office,

but I don't want her getting credit for this. So best of luck, Chris, in all your future efforts. For a second, I worried that Chris was dead, and that he died, and they were writing this, that I remembered. He's the Phoenix. Oh, shit. That is impossible.

Miss you, Phoenix. We'll see you, like, in a week. He's been reborn as a gas station attendant. Please don't touch the pile of ashes on Chris's desk. That's Chris. He's just coming back. He's gestating. He's gestating right now.

He's going to come back more beautiful than ever. You only live twice. My brother, my brother, being supported by Squarespace, an all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio, you want to dedicate a website to Drake.

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Right now, just go build your website. Or make an effort. You want to write Justin Drake slash fiction. You can make a Jake website, and that's the name of his weird torso. If you want to write Travis slash older, more distinguished Travis in the audience slash fiction. And then we can compare what we've written.

Travis already has some literature on the subject. He would be happy to share. I've been published twice. I'm the only published slash fiction author in the world. The great thing about this terrible website you're making is that it'll work on mobile just like that. It'll match your style, and that's automatic. So don't worry about it.

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I think it's an exceptional website. Okay, that got cut off. You need to create an exception. I bet you there's no good Drake slash fiction websites. I have an exception to that rule, and it's my Squarespace site. I know everybody's trying to Hulu. All right, that's old news. Everybody's got Hulu.

I've got it in my contacts. Streamed through Wi-Fi to my contacts I wear. You have Google eyes. I have Google eyes. I have googly eyes. And I'm going to upgrade that experience. Who wears Googles? I wear what?

I'm going to upgrade that. They're like goggles, but with Google in them. I'm going to upgrade that experience. Why didn't they call Google glass Googles? We call them Googles, Googles. You've probably tried Hulu, but Hulu Plus is the better version of that. Okay, you can watch your favorite shows anytime, anywhere, smartphone, tablet, it doesn't matter.

You'll whatever show you want to watch, ever in the history of mankind, they're all on there. And that's legally binding because I just said it. I don't think, I don't think like... Well, don't agree to disagree. It's all the ones you'd ever want to watch. Travis, name literally any show you can think of. Jimmy Kimmel Live.

Yes, on there. Shark Tank. On there. Scandal. On there. Do you see Griffin? Any show. And there is original stuff too.

Travis, does it just like come up with a name for a show that isn't on TV that you would just like to see? Just got anything. The wrong man's. It's on there, Hulu Plus. What they made it just because I said it out loud? There's one on there. Anything your mind can conceive of,

Hulu Plus will summon into existence. Can I try? Yeah. Law and Order SVU. Yeah, it's on there. It's like a law and order. It just got retrofitted to all of... Like we all remember SVU existing now

because Hulu went back in time and made it. This amazing technology can be yours for $8 a month, but you're not going to have to pay that. No, you're with us. HuluPlus.com slash my brother will get you an extended two week free trial. So head on over to HuluPlus.com slash my brother and they'll know we sent you

and you can get your two free weeks of Hulu Plus. Every referral we get, they give us one more episode of Law and Order SVU. It's like a referral bonus every time. And by the way, these are episodes that nobody else can watch. These are bespoke episodes of Law and Order SVU. Just for us. We can even specify what we want the crimes to be.

It's my crime. The one thing they won't do is make another season a flavor of love. I've tried so many times and it just isn't gonna happen. Well, they're probably... They said it would destabilize the time stream. Well, they also have explained that they can't find a single woman

that would agree to do that show on earth. They have actually started sending probes out into the vast corners of the universe to try and find some sort of living being that would agree to be on flavor of love. By the way, just so you people know at home, you would expect, just statistically speaking, that eventually an advertiser would be mad at us

for something we did. Hasn't happened. Nope. Has never happened. I don't know if they just shoot this money into space and like, well, best of luck, money. That or we are like fucking like mad men. We're like so fucking good at this.

Why? Listen. All right. Listen. I'm going to fire this entire board directors. Unless someone tells me why we never thought to offer every show in existence. Every name for the main guide. Nominees for advertisement of the year are the Coca-Cola polar bears.

Always a classic. That one commercial water refrigerator, Perry gets the Coca-Cola from kid before the big game. And everything that my brother, my brother would be have ever done. The best act with Coca-Cola. Thank you for joining us with the Coca-Cola Awards. I'm Carrie Poppy.

I'm Ross Blotcher. And we make a show. Oh no, Ross and Carrie. Oh no. We investigate fringe science. Spirituality. Religious groups. Alternative therapies.

We put ourselves through a lot of uncomfortable situations. So that you don't have to. Because really, why would you? For example, I watched a tube be inserted into Ross's anus. That's true, but it sounds terrible out of context. We've tried penis and breast enlargement pills. We spent six months undercover becoming Mormons. We hung out with the 9-Eleven Truthers.

The UFO called the Raleons. And we're going to do more. It's one of the newest shows on MaximumFun.org. On my way to class the other day, I found a nice camelback water bottle lying on the ground. That sounds like an anecdote, but I promise there's a question. After looking around to make sure no one was looking, I swooped in and picked it up.

Later that day, and before drinking from the bottle, I went to the store and bought a new mouthpiece and straw for the bottle. This is getting exciting. Despite this, my girlfriend says it's still disgusting to drink out of, and I should throw it away. A bottle like this would cost around $26. So I don't want to get rid of this.

All right, sorry. I'll stop laughing because there's a lot of math being bandied about this question. And I want the audience to really consider all the variables. I don't want to get rid of it so quickly. What should I do? That's from Waterless in St. Louis. Let me throw this out.

Oh, your camelback that you found on the ground. You want to throw that out. You want to throw that right in the garbage because it's a liquid that somebody else used for their math. If you've already drank out of it once, what's it matter now? Have they? In for a penny, in for a pound. Oh, okay, yeah.

He has already drank from the bottle. So I think the problem is, is this bottle going to be a point of friction between you and your girlfriend? Because if that's so, hop in the old car, sit there for 15 minutes, get out of the car. Come back like, yeah, switch that old bottle out. And then paste a picture of a different girl

onto the camelback and it's your new girlfriend now. This is my girlfriend, camelback. She's very hydrated. That's what the movie her was about. I feel like I can talk to you in a way I've never been able to talk to anybody else. Yeah, I'm dating my camelback. Yeah, that's not weird.

Lots of people are doing that. I'm dating, I'm dating Merman for me, man. I just wish you had a body so I could make love to you. Oh yeah. I'm touching your nozzles. At least the camelback has an orifice. That's true. That cyber lady in her didn't have that.

Have you guys read any of that Drake camelback slash version of it? I think that the fact that you bought a straw for it is a little crazy because I think that are you just gonna, is there a straw that's like an attachment for it or is this just like a straw? Do you know what a camelback is, Justin? Yeah, it's like a water bottle.

Okay. A camelback is like a bag that one, like if you're bicycling or walking that you're not carrying, it's attached to thing and then there's a tube with a mouthpiece that goes in your mouth and you gotta hold it in your mouth. It's a backpack. It's a backpack.

Holy shit. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I have a question for you, question asker that maybe you should confront yourself with. What are the set of circumstances that would cause a human being to say, well, I'm never drinking from this again

and throw it on the ground? Now that is it. Here's what happened. The person was walking on the quad, right? And then they took, they were enjoying their beverage. Maybe they had some Sierra Mist in there, right? Mixing it up. And they take it out.

And right when they take it out, a hawk flying overhead, shits and the shit falls directly into the tube, goes directly into the camelback bag. Like he sees it go all the way deep down. And then he says, well, I guess this, I guess this party's come to, I guess we've reached the end of the road, old friend. Let me throw this out.

The gentleman, he's walking across the quad, he's drinking it and he gets a text message from an unknown number and it says, you've been poisoned. Okay. Your camelback contains cyanide. You have 20 minutes to get to the hospital. He's here, rips off his backpack,

rips off his camelback and just starts running. Five minutes later, along Kim's question asker, they're like, ooh, free camelback. And he's dying. You're saying that this person's probably already dead and we're giving advice to a ghost right now. Yep. I do, I do wonder what the lag time has been

between this person sitting in this question, us answering it because I like the image of a water bottle just sitting alone on a shelf. I'm going to get you, I'm going to figure this out. I'm going to crack this. What if we get an email like tomorrow that's like, hey guys, thanks for the help. Got trench mouth already though, so.

Send it in. Send it in two weeks ago. Could have used it then. Got this, got this here, trench mouth, but I guess. Here's another thing you need to learn about being in relationships. A lot of times you'll come into items by unscrupulous means and you've got to be better

at covering your tracks. You shouldn't tell someone that you got it, that it's dirty and you got it from a dirty place. Your friend Steven gave it to you because he didn't want it anymore. My friend Ricky, he said he was done with water, he's getting out of the water. That's why it says Ricky on the bag. You know Ricky.

I know you've never met Ricky before, but. We house sat for Ricky that one time, remember? Remember, he had all this water. You ate that pizza you didn't like and you kind of made the yucky face. Yeah. And Ricky was like, I got too many water bottles. I'm eventually going to unload some.

You remember you commented on his water bottle room. And there was a journal in the water bottle room. It was like, man, I can't wait to start throwing these away and handing them out to my friends. You remember. You remember. You remember it. You're just.

Our friend Ricky, the water bottle magnate. He's got the glass eyeball. He's got two glass eyeballs, but he's always, he's never thirsty. You remember, he's the moistest man. He's very damp. Ricky Nalgene. You remember.

You know. Come on, remember. This is gross. I can't, I can eat. I can probably eat some food if I cut around the mouth marks. Right. I think fluid is just like, it's so pervasive. You know, so wet.

Well, no, like it, your shit gets in there and it just like. That that camera back is like a fucking incubator at that point. It's just like a little closed off, watertight surface. It's like a fucking, it's like a peachy dish. It's kind of gross. Like you're not even supposed to. But I feel like this is a Colombo moment where you've already said, like if you didn't know it was gross,

you wouldn't have bought a new mouthpiece and tube. Like you would admit that it's gross, but you think that you've hedged your bets on the grossness. It's kind of just living in a pretty cool city where you can buy just like attachments for water bottles. I don't know what story this is. Do you guys want a Yahoo? Please.

This Yahoo was sent in by Ira Ray. Are you Ira Ray? Who wants to know? Thanks Ira, it's by Yahoo. The American government. The America, is he like Edward Snowden? He's, uh, at least number two on the list. Oh fuck, I'm so sorry that I above that.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know, it's fine. Let me help you with this question. Yahoo, please. I won't read the Yahoo if you don't. Geez, go ahead. It's just me, Snowden. It's asked by Yahoo Answers user Anna, who asks,

Can anyone find me an article about not smacking horses in the face? Can anyone find me an article about not smacking horses in the face? That's weird, that's worded weirdly. My sister seems to think that smacking my horse in the face solves every problem, and even though I've told her a hundred times not to smack him in the face- Every problem? She says I'm being too soft and does it anyway. He's getting head shy.

Sorry. Getting smacked in the head turns you head shy? Like, yeah, I guess it makes sense. And I still can't convince her to just verbally tell him off, or even smack him on the neck, just not his face. Her and my horse are having problems deciding who is the boss. So do any of you know of an article that would say not to do that? I can send her.

Additional details. My sister partially owns, quote unquote, my horse. So I can't tell her not to go near him. She is an excellent rider and is generally great with them. But her and this horse just don't get along very well. So far, all of your answers have been great. Thank you so much. Okay, there's a lot going on here.

First of all, every problem? Damn this Obama can't. Oh, god damn it. I tried to use that website for a week and I can't do it and I broke my arm and I can't. Come here. Son of a bitch. Sorry. I mean, this is for you, for to run better.

Second, secondly, are there other side of his answers that went to you verbally tell off the horse and the horse goes, I know you're right. Guys, listen, I believe it. I fucking believe it. Listen, you're preaching the choir, okay? I know. I tried to canter over those crossbars and I fucked it up, okay? You don't have to hit me like I fucked.

There's no pain you could give me that's worse than the guilt I'm feeling right now, Deborah. God damn it. I also don't think you're going to say that someone else partially owns your horse. I think that by definition, it makes it our horse or it makes it both of your horses. I mean, look, it's God's, it's God's horse. Yeah, you may be, you may be leasing this horse and subletting it to your sister, but make, make no mistake. It is, it belongs to, to our Lord and savior.

What's the original question? What's the, can anyone find me under article about not smacking horses in the face? Like I can find you like a wicked lot of articles that are not about smacking horses in the face. I bet you can't find any articles about smacking, not smacking horses on the public internet. That's right, Justin, an excellent point. You're saying, Edward, you're saying that the NSA runs of some sort of follow it to the end. Follow it to the end, shake it through.

Run some sort of web. Oh, it's a piece of, it's coming together. Some sort of website network. That is, think bigger. Benghazi, secret. Is when two shooters were the grassing, the grassing old, actually, ended up. And to the right, that the, the, then hold on. I'm almost there.

You're so close. The national treasure to book of secrets. Book of secrets. It's the book of secrets. Then I think that all horses are Illuminati. Welcome to jetty. This is the first puzzle. I use it to test everyone.

Can you find the article about not smacking horses? It's secret. Take it from me. Let me Google smacking horses. Plus. No, don't use regular Google. You must use secret. Let me go and incognito.

I'm in chugle. All right. Secrets.google.hotspots. Secrets.google.hotspots.geocities. Then let's search. Dot angel fire. Dot angel fire. A lot of redirects, but okay.

Angel fire. And then search. Dot Lycos. Dot Lycos. At some point I'm going to type chugle in here. Lycos. Now copy and paste all of that in the artificial. Quote.

Horse smack. One word. Quote. Wiki leaks. You are going to be very surprised when the result is just a picture of Jimmy Hoffa's grave. Quote. Stone mason.

Stone mations? Very good. All right. I think that should be good enough to... Guys, my computer screen just went bright red. What does this mean? That is blood. You'll find a secret.

Did I just kill? Oh, I killed the whole internet. I can't look up this Yahoo! Answer anymore. That was the kill switch that I just turned... Okay. This has been a lot of fun. Don't smack a horse in the fucking face.

What are you fucking... What are you fucking talking about? What are you fucking talking... Like, what are you talking about? We've considered everything about this question, except the fact that we're talking about literally hitting a horse in the face. Our relationship... And not only that, but that she's talking to her sister,

who apparently needs some like written proof that that's a bad thing to do. Don't smack her in the face. I'll prove it. Show me an article about it. No, how about I smack you in the face? Let's be honest. Our relationship with horses has always been tenuous. Our basic interaction with horses is,

I don't want to run. Well, I want you to run. Well, I don't want to. Well, I have sharp points on my shoes. So I guess you're going to... Yeah, why don't you learn how to use metal and then like come back and talk to me, I guess? I have like spikes on my ears.

I have like spikes that I made out of metal that I got out of the ground and then I smelted. Hey, do you know anything about smelting horse? Then why don't you shut your fucking huge mouth? Go eat some fucking oats. Dumb motherfucker. I invented computers. Yeah.

Can you even use a computer? Did they even have horse Google? I bet if I brought you a computer, you would just lick it. You would just probably lick it or maybe step on it and break it. Great job. Just bought that with the job that I have that you don't have because you can't like make money.

Probably don't even know how money works. Our being mean to horses is our right for working because horses don't have jobs. So their job is to get hit in the face by us to help us relieve our stress. That's just that. I mean, that seems obvious to me. Yeah, God, this bummed me out this whole enterprise.

Stop hitting horses, everybody. They're nature's most beautiful creature. You can wrestle them all you want because that's fair. Yeah. Give me a question, Justin. I recently went out on a couple of dates with a lovely young lady about the third time hanging out. I made a move and we did some kissing.

Without telling too much, it was, sadly, among the worst kissing experiences I have had. We really enjoy hanging out together. I anticipate more of the same. So what, if anything, can I do to make this situation better? That's from somewhat surprised in Somerville. Like nothing. Like basic.

Here's the thing. You learn, you do get better at it, but you have it. I think everybody has a cap. And I think you hit that cap pretty fucking quick. Like I think. Have you thought about filling out a comment card? Like in an anonymous drop box and you put it in,

you're like, oh, there's two cards. I wrote one. Shit. Use of tongue. Use of tongue. You give me a two out of 10. That's a two. That's pretty brutal.

Lip moistness, six. So that's not bad. No. Nose placement, four. I got lip moistness, 10. And I don't know if that means that my lips are like, too moist. They're like really super, super, super slimy.

There's a butter zone. In which you put butter on your lips. Okay. It means you're a camelback bottle. I think that your only way of addressing this is saying, no, wait a minute. I was going to say something, but there's not. There's no way there's something you could say.

Hey, I really like you, Susan. But am I right in my assertion that you do get better at it? Like you start with zero. Okay. You're saying never been kissed fucking Drew Barrymore. Okay. And then after you kiss like a few people and you're getting better at it, you have like one person you get especially Randy with.

And we're going to get blue here talking about red hot pecs. You reach a certain point where that's like, that's as good as you get. And you hit it really quickly. I don't think it's like something that you just master over the course of your lifetime. I feel like by age, by age like 20, you're basically like that's just your style at that point.

I mean age is such a big thing in this question. If you're talking about like, if you're 15, 16, like, well, yeah, that's fine. If this is like a 26, 27 year old person and her kissing game is off, then like, it's not going to be bad. Again, it may not be bad. They may not be bad at kissing. Yeah, it just might be incompatible. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, there's certain levels of moisture that need to pair up. You can't have one person getting fully super sloppy double there and the other person just Sahara over there. Well, no, that is actually somewhere in the middle. That's actually what I prefer is to have like one person physical challenge. And then the other person is a cat on a hot tin roof, you know. Yeah, absolutely. Is it is it possible?

Well, it's a symptom of because I imagine like if you if there was really truly like a real connection, it would be amazing no matter what. No, is that just too romantic? You could connect. You can connect like on a deep spiritual and emotional level. And then your kisses are just like two big mouth trains just like crashing into each other. Just well, that's where it should be like that back to the future moment of like a feeling like kissing my my brother and you was like Hannah McCarty that says like we're friends

forever now. Yeah, and we're only friends. It's really a tragic because maybe you just stop kissing, you know. Just like in her, you don't need to express yourself physically. You can phone, phone fuck each other. Maybe I was going to say death to Smoochie, but I didn't see that. I was going to say pushing to these. Okay.

All of those were pretty good except for Justin's example, which I don't really think was to remain except for the fact that I'm just basically off the title. I haven't seen the film. Sure. Um, yeah, that's too bad, though. Really. This is the best we have.

I mean, what can we do? What can go to kiss school? Like you can't fucking like. Oh, bring in like a Jackson Galaxy. Ask a character. Yeah. Oh, God. Watch you smear.

Just fuck it. Just bring in Jackson Galaxy. Bring it. Bring him. Let me kiss you on your weird, weird, weird, weird face. Bring that weird face over here. Come here. I'm going to kiss your beard.

I'm going to kiss along the perimeter of your beard and it'll be like a little lips roller coaster. Wee. I love writing your face, Jackson. I think you're going to regret this when we start bringing on guests on the show, because I feel like Jackson Galaxy is exactly in our like sphere of celebrity that we could conceivably get on the show. You're going to feel pretty bad about about lambasting him this way.

I think it's lambasting, although I would love to base him in kisses. It's hard for me to watch that show without getting just rock hard. You know what I'm saying? Because it's got everything I need. It's got like a weird dude who looks like the basis for anthrax, but also people being stern to cats. That gets my noodle going. Me.

Yeah, indeed. My boner from hell. I like think we have just accepted that people on the show know that by name, the host of an animal planet series about making your cat not be such an asshole. Oh, you know, Jackson Galaxy, the person on the show. Pretty soon, we'll get to just calling up Jackson. I never want to know what we mean. Jackie.

Jago. Jacob. Do do another question, please. I share a name with a well-known actor. He's great. So it's not shameful at all. But when I meet new people, they get so excited pointing out the name connection.

This includes when waiters or phone customer support people find out my name. Depending on my mood, I'll joke around and riff off some of the movie references. But sometimes I'm exhausted by the topic. If in my place, how would you either quickly riff or move the conversation past the topic that I deal with on a near daily basis? And that is from Daniel Craig. And that's from Judge Reinhold. God, Daniel Craig doesn't really give you a lot of a lot of runway.

You know what I mean? Not a lot of riff. If it was if it was Judge Reinhold, then fuck, that's a deep, deep, deep, deep thing. We're talking two minutes of baby goose. You got the police, police academy goose. Daniel Craig, you got Bond. You got what was he in? Trainspotting.

Was he in that? No. Countcake. Later. He was in the cake movie. Cake boss. I think you need one Pat response that just shuts the whole thing down. You just say no relation.

No relation, maybe, or maybe just like something cute. It's like, keep it down. I'm trying not to get recognized. Or like I'm undercover. Are these people like my accents? Right. That's the thing. Like what if you're just if you call the phone company like,

hey, what's up? My name is Daniel Craig. I'm calling about my phone service. They're like, the Daniel Craig, like fucking listen to me. Do you think that this is what Daniel Craig sounds like? Hi, this is Daniel Craig. I'm just caught. Like, do Daniel Craig?

Like, yes, obviously. I don't think he's experiencing confusion between thinking that Daniel Craig is calling P.F. Chang's and putting in an order. I don't think that's the problem. I think it's just like the conversation that he's being forced into like, oh, like James Bond. Yes, like James Bond. Yeah, James fucking Bond.

What if you what if you pretend like you lived in a one man alternate universe in which the other Daniel Craig did not exist? So when people are like, oh, just like Daniel Craig, James Bond. I'm like, I'm sorry, what? I don't know that person. Is that not going to Daniel Craig for the movies? Do you mean? I haven't been in any movies.

Do you mean Pierce Brosnan? Let me hit you. Do you mean Woody Allen? Let me hit you with this. What if you live the rest of your life as Danny Craig? No, no, Justin. I'm not gonna let Daniel Craig do that. Danny Craig.

He's gonna bow to other Daniel Craig like he gets the title. You can you send Daniel Craig a sternly worded letter saying, listen, you handsome motherfucker. I don't know if you've seen his abs. He gets whatever title he wants. You're Dano from now on. Dano Craig. Dano Craig. Your best bet is that Daniel Craig keeps doing great movies and he gets knighted and

then he's Sir Daniel Craig. And then I feel like the confusion will be alleviated. Or then you can take Sir Daniel Craig. You just add it to yourself. Hi, I'm Sir Daniel Craig. I would like the General So's chicken. Hello, I'm Sir Daniel Craig. My HBO has been a little bit fuzzy lately and I feel like the connection's really weak.

Oh, this sucks. Just call yourself Judge Reinhold. Nobody knows who that is, so like they won't confuse you. Judge, that's a weird first name. Anyway, what'd you want? Judge? Nobody's called Judge. Anyway, we're having a half off special on the shesh one.

UN? UN, coward? Come on. Come on, pussy. You're worried it'd be too spicy? What's wrong? Oh, you're worried we're going to give you too much chicken? God.

You're worried it'd be too flavorful? Then it's going to be too great of value? Just give me your order, asshole. Are you worried you won't be able to fit the chicken into your baby's mouth? Because you have a baby mouth? Why is this P.F. Chang's so hostile? It's actually P.F. Chang's last resort. This is what it is.

It's the new, they're prototyping it. It's basically a P.F. Chang's, but everyone's just like really shitty to you. And then Judge Reinhold actually calls there one day. It's like, what kind of fucking name is Judge? He was like, I was in two and a half, two and a half babies. What was that? What was it, McCall? Thank you so much for listening to our comedy podcast.

We hope you've enjoyed yourselves. Before you complain about this episode, get a little off topic from time to time. Please remember that this is a holiday. That's it? And we were good enough to record an episode for you. Even with all of our big Martin Luther King Jr. plans, we're able to fit in an episode. Squeaked in an episode, so we hope you enjoyed it.

Thank you to everybody tweeting about the show, like David Fedor, Tanner, Nagari, Harley, Craig Lynn, Jared, Paul O'Regan, Stephen Strom, Fred Wood, Danny Persky. Everybody, you're all the best. And we really appreciate it. If you want to tweet about our show, try to remember to include a link to our sampler bit.ly forward slash mabimbam2013, or to our iTunes page would be fine. And tell a friend about the show this week. We would really appreciate it.

I want to thank John Roderick and the Long Winters for the use for a theme song into departure on the album Putting the Days to Bed. Had somebody tweeted us this week that they went to a Long Winters show and they played It's a Departure and the person, I guess, never paid attention to whenever we said the thing I just said and like freaked the fuck out. They were like, holy shit, I didn't know that was you guys. Which is... They never make it to the end of an episode.

I guess. I guess they hear, we want to thank you and they're like, nope. Not thanking me. I'm out. And thanks again to Hulu Plus. If you are the one person in the world who has not tried Hulu Plus yet, it's time to let down your walls and try it and go to HuluPlus.com forward slash my brother and check it out with that extended free trial when you go to that website.

Also, if you would like to have a personal or business shout out on the money zone, just go to MaximumFun.org forward slash Jumbotron. And if you ask a loved one for that, if you say, dear sweetheart, all I want for my birthdays is shout out, tell them where to go so that we don't get confused sad emails or they go, I don't know how to do it. Please help. Sure. Just say to your loved one, MaximumFun.org forward slash Jumbotron.

Travis, I've been meaning to ask you the whole episode. You sound kind of Tom Lehtzi. Have you been eating beer bottles again? Yeah, I'm an abluse man now. Okay. Also, go check out the other shows. You've listened to the new podcast, right? The four new podcasts?

Yeah. I mean, they're so great and they're so free and they're so great and free. So go check those out. You won't regret it. And that's going to do it for us here on my brother, my brother and me. If you want to send us a question, it's mbmbam at MaximumFun.org. So do that. You want that final?

Give me. Okay. This final yahoo is sent by Christopher Green. Thank you, Christopher. It's by yahoo answers user Sophia who asks, do you learn how to twerk or do you just know how? I'm Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy.

I'm Griffin McRoy. This is my brother, my brother and me. Kiss your dad square on the lips. I want to say that I want to. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.

What up, though? It's your boy Jasper Red, co-host of The Goose Damn, along with Kimberly Clark. And some of y'all might be asking yourself, what the hell is The Goose Damn? It's a comforted food and we want y'all to climb underneath it with us and snuggle up so we can find your ears and things. So come check us out at MaximumFun.org also available on iTunes. Jill.