My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 186: Nipple Aesthetics

Episode Date: February 3, 2014

This episode finds you, the wasteland survivors, after the ravages of the Big Game have already -- excuse the pun -- toucheddown. We pray you took the necessary precautions, and that our transmission might bring you some comfort in these trying times. Suggested talking points: Surviving the Game, Utility Hog, Teen Clubz, Love and Marriage, Male Nipples: Explained!, Tweet-fu, Breakfast Socks

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello and welcome to my brother and my brother meet at my show for the modern era. Batten out of the hatches, it's a great honor today, and I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy, your middle-aged brother. I'm your baby brother Griffin McElroy. Get your belt, attach your belt to you

and Helen Hunt, and then wrap it around that pipe, and you're not going anywhere when the football NATO comes. Football storms are coming, of lots of touch, a hailstorm touchdown. Hailstone's the size of footballs. My knee's been aching all day. You know what that means? That usually means it's going to be just a touchdown NATO. Oh shit, Peyton coming. Oh, here come Peyton. Guys, are you fucking ready? Are you fucking ready? Have you prepared yourself? Have you made yourself ready? You in your home and your family? Are you armed? Well, better question. Have you prepared your soul?

Yeah, what's going to happen to you after the football comes? I've got some literature here. I'd really like you guys to read. Have you prepared your soul for when Peyton Manning comes for you? He could come at any time. As he does for all of us. That's what's so scary. I can't go in Papa John's anymore because Peyton Manning is in all Papa John's simultaneously. I don't know if you guys know this, but Papa John created a demonic portal that he ensnared Peyton Manning in. He lets him out every football game day. Otherwise, he is simultaneously in every Papa John's at once. Have you ever seen multiplicity? It's like that.

It's a lot like that. Next time you're in Papa John's, do me a favor, look in a mirror. Think about Gatorade. Oops, who's there? Peyton Manning's behind you. I think that the end will basically be Peyton Manning gathering up all the world's bad people in Las Vegas and Eli Manning gathering all the good people. Now who's he? Sorry, Eli? Yeah. He's his brother. He's the malformed clone of Peyton Manning. Oh, I see. So to continue the multiplicity riff, it would be like if Michael Keaton, if one of his clones was just like a torso without a head and arms. When Peyton Manning was born, William refrigerator Perry took one of his ribs,

and from that rib, he formed Eli. He put a salty rub on it. He marinated it in some sauce, and then he was ready for the big game. He was. He needed a few dips and he was ready. Football is coming, and I don't think you can ever be too ready for football. This may be our last transmission. We may get swept away by a good iron fever tonight, which is a literal disease. It strikes the young, the elderly, the middle-aged people who are in like their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, just everybody. All the decades right now. Cheeseheads. It gets cheeseheads real hard. It gets parrot heads. You guys got a favorite? Who are you pulling for?

I'm rooting for Nate Irving. Oh, me too. I was going to say the exact same thing. So Nate Irving, this is my favorite. In my favorite quote of the week, Nate Irving was asked how he was going to unwind before the big game, and he said, I'm going to sit up in my hotel room and play my Pokemon game. I love you, Nate Irving. You're the best football player. According to the Wall Street Journal, he promises he won't spend all his time playing Pokemon. He might occasionally mix things up by watching HGTV. Did you guys know that I'm a professional fucking football player and my name is Nate Irving? Did you guys know that about me?

I'm basically the best football player. I'm super good. I set like a career record with like 41 tackles this season. I'm like super, super good, and I didn't know it. Yeah, that's all you need. We are on a boat, and our destination is Self-Discovery Island. Well, can you imagine like Nate Irving, you know, the broadcast when the Super Bowl, and it's like, Nate Irving, are you excited? He's like, I am excited. I won the Super Bowl, and I also beat the trainer. I've been trying to beat for like the last two weeks. I don't think he has any trouble beating any kind of trainers. I'm just saying I think he's probably pretty good. Oh, wait, so you just assume because he's an excellent footballman

that is also really good at the Pokemon? That's what he's terrible at Pokemon, and it's just he, football is not a challenge for him anymore. He just can't wrap his mind around like the different typesets, the different elemental strengths and weaknesses. I can't remember what's psychic strong again. My girlfriend spent the night at my place more often than not, while I tolerate her hair dryer, hair straightener, and assorted other energy-guzzling beauty, I can't stand when she makes changes to the thermostat in the morning after I've left, and heats the condo up to tropical temperatures while nobody is home to enjoy it. I've tried asking politely, but my electric bill has gone up more than 300% from December to January.

What is a conservation-minded boyfriend to do, and that's from Chile in Chicago? You could do what my landlord does and put a lockbox around the thermostat. That should be good for the relationship. Hey, honey, you can't be trusted. Bye, I'll see you at work. I love you. Also, I put all your hair dryers and stuff in a separate lockbox, and I only I know the password. I'm going to dip back into the Ben Bam classics folder and dig out this one, because I think it's appropriate. Go to the thermostat and just put a little jelly on it. I went to change the thermostat and my hand got all this jelly everywhere. I hate this. Maybe the problem is, what kind of jelly? This person is leading a conservation-based lifestyle,

and that's admirable, that you can have the patience and the willingness to sacrifice all of the good things in the world to live like that. Good kudos. This person does not want to waste jelly like that. That is jelly that could be eaten by a person who really needs some jelly to eat, and you're wasting it. You're using it as a punitive measure, and that does not seem like something a conservationist would be into. Let me throw this out. Maybe the problem is you can't take something away without presenting another option. If you say you can't raise the thermostat, maybe you also give her a barrel that she can burn some newspaper and scrap wood in. Oh, so a one-in, one-out, fuck-the-earth policy. A literal scorched-earth policy,

because if you do that too much, this rock will be uninhabitable. Yes, but it's not like it's going to pollute the outside. It's inside his apartment. As long as he never opens a door or window and releases the toxic fumes he's built up in there. Yes. How do you get anybody to do anything? Guilt. Buy an animal that's susceptible to heat. And let it die? And let it duck in once. Build a snowman in your living room. What? Put a snowman in your living room and make her love it? Yeah, put a snowman in the living room and tell her that via a magical instrument it has become possessed with the spirit of your dead relative, and then when she turns the thermostat of him

melts, she starts screaming. No, she won't care about that. Just make it look like Benedict Cumberbatch. Is that what hold the fucking phone? Is that what ladies are into right now? Ladies are into right now. I don't know. That's what they're into. I mean, he's a tremendous actor, and of course, who doesn't love Benedict Cumberbatch, but I'd never thought about him on an erotic level. He's got so many ridges. He's got a lot of ridges on that dome. I think right now, if ladies could just watch Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston just rub their faces together. That's all they want. They just want that. He has a lot of ridges, too. That's a lot. It's like two ski slalom courses, just rubbing,

making friction. And that's the new thing. Ridges. Ski slalom. I gots to get some fucking dome ridges. Apparently dome ridges are where it's at. I'm as surprised as anybody, honestly. So I guess those are some pretty good suggestions. Can't wait. Can you ask her to pay for the extra 200 percent? Oh my God. Split the utility bill with her. Yeah. Or... Then she can do what she wants.

Just ask her to be more fucking considerate. Please. Just be considerate of my feelings. Buy her a giant sweatshirt that she can wrap herself in. Hold on. Wait a minute. Are you dating a salamander? Because if you're dating a salamander, then you need to be conscious of her lifestyle needs. And maybe you eat the extra... I mean, guys, I lived in Chicago. Energy ain't cheap. Energy... And it gets cold up there.

It gets cold up there. And there's only so much gas. And if energy raiders come by your street, you have to fight them off. But if this woman needs heat or else her salamander skin will turn dust and she dies. Just how salamanders work. Here's a yahoo. I'm just going to stop asking if you guys want it. Because the answer is never no. That's true. This one is sent in by Caroline Flynn.

Or Caroline Flynn. Thank you, Caroline. Or Caroline. It's by Yahoo Answers user Megan who asks, What should I wear to a club? Hey. Hey. Hey. I'm 19 and I'm going to a club that's for 16 to 20 year olds.

Kind of a crazy club. And I'm not sure what to wear. I don't want to look like a slut, but I want to look a little sexy. There's a couple things I will not wear. I absolutely despise skinny jeans so I refuse to wear those. And as far as shoes, I don't want to wear heels because they hurt my knees. And I can't wear flats because I have to find ones that fit. Other than those few things, I'm pretty much open to anything.

I'm 5'5", 115 pounds. So I'm pretty skinny. I have a butt and boobs, but neither are huge. Did you need to point out that you have a butt and boobs? I have a butt. My legs do not just connect in my waist. I'm an amorphous blob who poops through a belly button. So that's my line.

So that's why I hate skinny jeans so much. I don't have legs. I hate skinny jeans. Oh, and one more thing. I'm a living blob. So there's not really anything I can't wear. I'm getting pretty full yourself. If you guys could maybe put links in with your answers

so I can get a better idea of what you're thinking, that would be great. Thanks. A teen club? I guess Huntington had... We had the gym factory, which was a trampoline emporium, but in the back room was... By day. Trampoline emporium by day.

By night. A teen hotspot, which is where like fucking eighth graders learn to bump and grind. Which, how do you... By night, we have a place called Blast. Oh, no. It's a teen club. It's the same principal?

Yeah, except it's like a full-on... It's a full-on nightclub in Newport on the Levy, and I think it's open like Fridays and Saturdays. They card people to get in, and then they serve Red Bull and Gatorade and... It's the... Just a fucking cave. When they ID them, if they're older than like 20, do they... They don't...

They don't let them in? Don't let them in. But when you look at the place, it's crazy, if I may for a moment, what's crazy about it is it looks like someone said, Hey, parents, don't worry. It's going to be totally safe. We're going to keep an eye on it. Kids, don't worry.

We've really set this up so you guys can like fucking do... No, I remember it. Like our teen club, the gym factory was the fucking grossest place I've ever been. Like I'm 26 now. I have not been to a place that allowed drinking that was like 10% as gross as the gym factory was. Because it was just like... Just like a bunch of eighth-year-olds,

eighth-year-olds. Just a bunch of eighth graders just fucking gyrating and just like cupating and emerging from their sexual chrysalis to become like a bunch of fuck moths. Attracted to some genital flames. Are you talking about the same gym factor? Or there's like rope swings. Or I had my fucking...

No kidding. I had... I think I had like my fifth grade birthday party there. Three years later, I was like fucking jizzing inside my Jinko jeans. Like that place was... I'm thinking about it now. That place is crazy. That's crazy that that...

I guess the fact that teen clubs exist is crazy enough. But like also there's like the world's biggest jungle gym and around the corner is like a fucking... Dry humping. Is dry humping the teen red light district. Anyway, what's this? What's this? What's this young woman going to wear?

A chastity belt. I would wear a... From extremestrains.com. I would wear a chain that you can attach to your leg that keeps you from going to this place. Yeah, it's treacherous. How about just some kind of like harness so that if you get into deep, you can tug the rope

and your parents can pull you out so that you don't get trapped there? You want your parents watching you. You want your parents to be your spotters in this area. Yeah, they're at a safe distance. I want it tied to the back of the caravan. So you tug the rope and they just floor it. And you go flying out the front door.

Oh shit's going down. Get me out of here, moms. Hey, do you want to write on yourself? Play glass window. You want to write on yourself with this neon highlighter? It's just stuff to do because we can't drink. Yeah, hold on. Let me just pull on this rope three times.

And bye. Bye. Maybe a... How about a nice blouse? A taste. Maybe a pantsuit. Pantsuit. I like that.

The kids... You know what the kids like nowadays? They're like writing on themselves just because they can't drink and they just need something to do. And they're really into Margaret Thatcher. Just like her style. You know what I want to come back?

Shoulder pads. Oh yeah. Man, if... I can't believe as ironic as everyone and everything is all the time forever now, that those haven't really reared their ugly flat heads. That's got to be hard for like their creator. Paul.

Shoulder pads. Shoulder pads. Yeah. The way it... Look at these. Come on. Oh man, these are bulky. Hey guys, look at me.

And then like a guy that's like wearing a suit that he bought from the set of hanging with Mr. Cooper. It's like, dude, I don't know. That is a little too much for me. Shoulder pads? A little much. I don't know. Let me clean off the fake lenses in my glasses.

Let me clean those out real quick. Sorry. I want to look like David Byrne, but you look a little too much like David Byrne. Does that make sense? Yeah. I want like 75% Byrne. If you go too much over that, then you just look silly.

You know, I'm going to go on a limb and I'm going to say the next big thing is blazers that are nautical themed with shoulder pads. So like the buttons have the anchors on them. Yeah, sure. Maybe there's like a blue and white stripe thing going on, but it's definitely has a nautical flare and shoulder pads. Oh my God.

I'd give up everything to follow that style. Maybe you got some sardines, some sardines in the pocket. Yeah. Sailors. Oh yeah. It's a full sensory experience. Sight, smell, sound, you know, you open up the coat and the speakers play the sound of the ocean.

It's so important. If you're going to a teen club, you have to put together a full sensory experience. You know why? It's A, it's because it says something about you. I'm in the boats. Hey, what's up? I'm a child of the ocean.

That's sort of my style. But more importantly than that, you want to be able to transport yourself to anywhere but the place you are, which is a teen club. Explain. Can you guys explain the science to me? Is it just, is it? It doesn't make any sense to me that a club

where you can drink and get fucked up and like hang out with adults, all of whom are of consenting ages, is less gross than a place where you cannot drink and everyone's in high school. Because the one thing that teen club lacks is excuses. Yeah, everything that's happening there is completely generated by hormones.

It's Sonoma and Gomorrah is what it is. Right, exactly. It's just a pavilion of carnality and you can't blame any of it on alcohol. Don't look back at the gym factory. Just go. Just go. Oh, your salt.

Now your pill is salt. Fucked up. Well, here's the problem, Griffin. At an adult club with adult people, they also have adult reasoning and stuff like, I just can't go up and grind up the person. I work with them. No, I think you're right about the hormones.

I think that's it. That is a fucking cocktail, man. Eighth grade, fucking forget about it. I'm usually, I guess, 98% water and 2% meat and then back there I was just like, just like from the waist down. 100% bone. Just like bone zone all the way.

When I was in eighth grade, I was in a computer class and our teacher was, he was an overweight man, angry at the world, seemed to hate pretty much everything. Now, hold on. This was a computer class teacher? Now, wait. That doesn't sound right. He seemed to hate everything.

Every single thing about his life seemed to make him miserable. And the very first thing he said to us on the first day of this eighth grade computer class was, I wouldn't trade places with any of you for love or money. That's how this guy's game was so whack in his entire life. His entire life circle was off kilter and yet he would not trade places with a young vibrant eighth grader.

Vibrant, my balls. That is, I wasn't, nobody's vibrant when they're in eighth grade. They're just like exuding weird like chemicals and shit. They're just like, they have a sheen of slime. They're just a bunch of like jizz slugs. I fucking, oh. They have a slime of sheen actually too. Man, we went through some shit

and we came out on the other side so much stronger. I recently got out of a four year relationship. By both of our accounts, we were very happy together. But my ex was never ready to commit to marriage and I got tired of waiting. I'm 33 and he's 38 BTWs. And this is LA. If that makes a difference, of course.

We love it. I started seeing other people. My question is this. How can I avoid getting involved with another commitment fobe? I'm definitely not desperate to get married, but I am ready to find a life partner. At what point in a new relationship should I bring this up? After a few dates, a few weeks, months,

I basically want to say I only date guys who are interested in marriage. Don't do that. I don't want to come across as crazy, pathetic, or desperate. What's your advice? Thanks a lot. All right. Don't like the labels of crazy, pathetic, or desperate

have nothing to do with it. It's just like it's almost like rude in a way. It's just like a weird thing to float by somebody. Put it on a completely different framework and say it's like walking into a job interview and say, hi, I'm such and such. I'm here to interview and I want you to know I'll only take this job if eventually I get to be CEO.

I've got my eye on a management position. Yeah. And I won't accept the job if you can't guarantee that that's going to happen. It's like, oh, we just met. Like I don't know. I think by its very nature, commitment in the context of a relationship has to be 100% holistic.

It cannot be forced or artificial in any way because like this person that you dated and you guys had a good relationship and you were very happy together. But like if you guys were that happy and you spent that much time together and he still didn't want to commit, like that has always to me seemed like evidence

of other shit going on. Yeah. What I've found is that if people aren't ready, like if people are afraid of commitment, even if they have rules for themselves, I'm not looking for something serious. I'm not looking for a lifelong thing. If it's right and it's the right relationship,

it's the right pairing, then that kind of commitment, even if it's not marriage will follow. I mean, you will want to just because you'll be into something so great that you don't want to get out of it. Maybe that's an overly romantic way of looking at things, but that's seemed to be my experience. No, I agree. And I think the problem is that asking early on like,

hey, I just want to know that you're the type of person that was, I feel like it's cheating because I feel like it's like you got to get to know. And that's why starting a new relationship is always scary because there are so many unanswered questions that you learn over time. And wanting to get all those questions out of the way early so you don't have to worry about it.

I think it takes a lot away from the discovery and the newness of it all and getting to know the person. So my honest answer is I don't think you can. I think you just have to get to know them and come to that conversation naturally because I think if you try to force it, and it sounds like you're eager to have that conversation. So chances are it's not going to come about naturally

of its own accord. And so it will probably not be at the right time. And Laura, you may find that you, if you forced that question too early, you may find yourself in a relationship that you don't want to commit to but are enjoying. And the other person's ready to like bat down the hatches and get hit.

Which is so much shittier than the alternative. It's way worse. It's a lot worse. To your credit, it's really, really good that you look back on that older, the last relationship that you were in. And you're still happy about it because you recognized that you like had a good time

and you grew from it even though it didn't result in like a lifelong thing. Because if you don't look at your stuff like that, that will drive you crazy. Like, oh, four years, just gone. Yeah, and you don't want to be in a relationship for four years again like that. If somebody doesn't want to commit to you,

Laura, you're the best. If they're not going to commit to you, you've had plenty of time for the relationship to evolve to a point where that wouldn't make sense. You need to cut your ties, cut your losses. You're a great, great lady. Especially if you find that out early on. If you're like, hey, I'm the type of person

that wants to get married and they're like, oh, I'm not. Like that idea of like, I'm going to change them or I'm going to be the one. It's going to be different with me. It's like, well, if there was a possibility of that, they wouldn't have said anything. You know what I mean? It's such a cutoff to be like, oh, yeah,

I'm not interested in getting married. Like, okay, that's not going to change with that person in this relationship. Because the best you can hope for is you wear them down and four years later, they're like, okay, I guess so. I also think that you are going to, by setting up a question of marriage too early, I think you can put it into a weird light, right?

Where they start weighing the pros and cons of you as like a holistic person rather than just someone they see movies and eat dinner with sometimes, right? I mean, if the marriage question is on the table at the very beginning, then you lose a lot of the easier stuff to sort of deal with. You're raising the stakes very high. They should be so fun in the beginning.

They should just be like, I'm going to hang out with this cool person that I like and I'm attracted to. And it doesn't have to be anything more than that. And then when it is something more than that, it's so exciting and so great, especially when it's mutual and it evolves from there. If you introduce this question, you lose out on that like, I don't, that almost shark tank-esque.

I could walk whatever, you know what I mean? That's the true joy. I forget, I do forget what dating is like though. And I would wager that my two brothers are also in the same camp. I don't remember. No, I'm still dating a woman and her name is my wife. Oh, that's beautiful.

I can't remember her real name. I think it's my wife. I'm not certain. Hey guys, hey guys, hey guys, hey guys, hey guys, hey guys. Hey guys, my life. You guys remember Borat? Now that was Austin Powers. Yeah, the character.

I'm sorry, one more time, let me hear it again. Is Austin Powers melting? Wizard sleeves. It's getting sucked into a black hole. Come back, Austin, come back to us. You guys, it's funny, the longer we do this show, I feel like we don't, I don't get better at giving advice, but I get better at knowing when people are going to tell us

we gave bad advice. I don't think that was bad advice. I don't know. It just seems like people are going to disagree with us. These things are so complicated. I don't know. I know, but it just seems like objectively, like I see like when I'm at the H.E.B.

buying some chips and guac, which I do daily because I have to eat an entire tub of guacamole every day to stay alive. I see a Cosmo at the fucking register. It's like how to how to get your man to commit. And it's like, if you have to fucking like, if you're like trap somebody or tricks, it just doesn't seem as good as like

just finding the right person. And then both of you just very naturally slide into this state like, oh shit, it's you. Like, hey, it's you. You're the one. Yeah. That's awesome. I don't know.

Maybe I'm not saying it doesn't happen the other way because I'm sure it does. Like I'm sure it happens all the goddamn time. I'm just saying like, it doesn't seem like that should be the default thing that you aim for. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? It's kind of putting the car before the horse.

I think a little bit. How about a Yahoo? Yeah, please. This Yahoo, as soon as my mouse starts working, this Yahoo was sent in by Ron Conley. Thanks, Ron. It's by Yahoo Answers User. Strong name, huh?

Can we just call him Ronly? Ronly, thank you for sending this in. It's by Yahoo Answers User. Ah, fuck. 2.7182818. It's a bunch of numbers. I think it's Pi. That's Pi, right?

No. Thank you, Ron, for sending this in. And thank you 2.7, whatever. For asking it. He asks. God gave Adam nipples, intending him to be the female, then changed his mind, but left the nipples on? I don't understand the question.

God gave Adam nipples, intending him to be the female, then changed his mind, but left the nipples on? Many atheists used to have- No, I guess repeating it doesn't help. Many atheists used to have fun asking why God gave Adam nipples, so he can help with breastfeeding? I believe I have finally thought of the answer. God originally intended Adam to be the female,

then quickly changed his mind, making Eve the female, but God decided to leave the nipples on Adam, especially since Adam had already named them. Does this sound about right? This one's Steve, and this one's Jerry. Replies from religion scholars and others appreciated. I can't, okay. So in this person's mind, God made Adam, said that's a lady,

and then he said, uh, I feel like the breast should like do more. So in fact, God may be infallible, but everybody gets one. Yeah. And his was just right at the very beginning. Right at the time. Well, I mean, he made the sun. It's not like he made the sun. He was like, hmm, maybe-

He put nipples on that, too. He put nipples and said, this is a female. No, this is a sun. How? Okay, so this is an adult- This is a female. Now remember- That's the light and the death.

Remember, children, don't look directly at the sun, because you'll see it's nipples, and that's just sort of rude. Don't stare at that. It's not its fault. I prefer to think of it that God like was making Adam, was making a woman at the last second, like, no way to dude. Like, just- Hold up.

I can't. Okay. Okay. So God can make people, but he can't banish nipples. So can God create a nipple so big, even if he can't make it? Are you saying that Adam had like one huge nipple? He had to drag it- Okay, why did he do this to me, God?

He had to drag it behind him. Like a wedding dress, like, trail or something? First off, we could just go point by point on this question. First off, how bored are these atheists? This is what they're doing for fun? No, I mean, that's a thing, right? Like, if God exists, why do dudes have nipples? If God exists, why do dudes have nipples?

I mean, we're all stymied by that question, aren't we? I mean, but- Because God's a dirty bird. I mean, they're co- You know why I think you made them? Are you ready for this? I'll crack this shit wide open, National Treasure, Jesus edition. It's because our chest would look super crazy if we didn't have them on there.

Think about that. Yeah. Think about aesthetically, it's like, if dudes, it was just like, top to bottom, all right? Hair, cool. Eyes, they can be different colors. Sometimes they're really pretty. A nose, yeah, you need that for smelling.

Mouth, sure, you need somewhere for the sounds to come out. And then like, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, dick. Right? Like, if we're still looking at the center pillar, if we're looking at the chakras, hair, eyes, nose, mouth, yep, check, love all those. Lots of variation, lots of differences. And then nothing, it is as a great fucking 20 miles of flesh.

And then stuff starts happening again. If God built us. It's like the movie AI. It's like a really strong beginning and the ending is super exciting. And then like, what happened in the middle? Like, Jude Law took him to a fucking robot circus and he got lost and destroyed New York. Like, who gives a fuck? If God did build us top to bottom, he did get like,

I think he got burned out. Like, oh man, that was a lot of work. I can't put that much detail into things. Right. He didn't like the old mega toys, you know, old toys where he said like, okay, we've got a stock body and then we can just put different heads on it and different outfits and that will be the different people. That's a good point, Travis.

Like, he just had one idea for bodies and he's like, I don't know, maybe just reuse that. Just keep using it over and over again. Because, yeah, guys. Yeah, the two of you, because every dude's body looks exactly the same. That's why when you see like me and Channing Tatum, if we're wearing full head masks, you're like, God, uh, that one's Griffin. Oh no, that one's Channing. No, but I mean, it's not, okay, fair.

But if I were to cut off Channing Tatum's head, I'd go to jail. But if I did cut off Channing Tatum's head and I showed you Channing Tatum's arm, you wouldn't be able to tell if that was Channing Tatum or Kevin Sorbo. I actually carved it. No, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Those are your two go-to attractive in shape dudes, Channing Tatum and Kevin Sorbo. Kevin Sorbo's Hercules, okay? But that did be like, I can't tell the difference between them physically.

Also, he was Hercules in 1981. He's not Hercules forever because he's not actually Hercules. Is that Kevin Sorbo or is that Channing Tatum? I don't know. I'll have to wait till they turn around. I cannot see their face. I actually, I carved my initials into Channing Tatum's ass, so I could tell them apart.

It's the only way. I clearly meant Kevin Sorbo classic. Oh, okay. I wasn't implying this. Not new Sorbo. Not new Sorbo. Not Crystal Sorbo. Crystal Sorbo classic Kevin Sorbo.

The original formulation. Ah, man. When he was Hercules, let's get the money's over. My Brother My Brother Me is sponsored by Squarespace. It's an all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to make your own website. You want to spread the word about my Brother My Brother Me?

You go make your own website. My Brother My Brother Me fan. And we will sue you so hard. Take you down. But the good thing about that is that they offer a support team 24-7. Do they offer legal support because we sued you? I don't think so. They have new designs.

It's got new features. And it's just eight bucks a month with a free domain name if you sign up for a year. There's a, also if you make a site, it'll make it like a mobile version of the site, specifically for like mobile phones. So that's kind of nice. It's not without a lot of extra hassle on your part.

And you can start a trial with no credit card. Start building today. Don't wait to make your website. The dot-com bubble is just expanding now and will never burst. It's never bursted before either. It's an infinite amount. Invest all your money. Yeah.

I have so much money in pets.com guys. And that is how I send my kids to college. Good news is you're not going to have to invest all your money because we're going to save you 10% off your first purchase. Just use the offer code mybrother. That's all one word, my brother. To get 10% off on the first thing you buy there. It's Squarespace, everything that you need

to create an exceptional website. And hey, if you do, if you do use Squarespace and create a thing, tweet us a link. Yeah. Let us see your website. I want to see the website you made with that. And make it about us. Yeah, because I don't actually read anything

that's not about me. So that would be very helpful. Guys, I just tore January off of my Dilbert calendar. Uh, the calendar is from 1990. Your page a month calendar. It's in 1997. So like the dates don't exactly match up, but you know, sort of, you get a general idea.

I legit forgot that Valentine's Day is coming up. Oh, shit. It'll sneak up on you. You got to be careful. Griffin, I'm in a panic now. Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to do. Well, let me tell you what to do.

Okay. You tell me exactly what to do. You can avoid forgetting, letting Valentine's Day slip, slip your dome by going to proflowers.com. It's a flowers vendor website on internet that you can use to get the flowers. And then you don't have to like go to the store and smell them and it sets off your allergies.

You get them on internet and then you get it delivered to your house. Beautiful blooms and all sorts of different colors. We have beautiful blooms here. I'm talking about beautiful blooms. Let me tell you. Let me just hit you with some of the stuff that they have on proflowers.com.

Beautiful blooms. Check, covered that. You can get 100 blooms of love with a free glass face for just $19.99. I don't know if you guys know this. That's crazy, not expensive compared to other flowers. Wait, that's not enough for me. I want to upgrade.

I want to add gourmet chocolates and a teddy bear. How much is that going to cost? That's another $9.99 American US dollars. Oh my God. That's such a good fucking deal. That's a crazy thing to get for that much money. That's insane. And you can get it exclusively through us on us

by using the code mybrother. Now, here's how you do it. You go to proflowers.com. You click on, there's a blue microphone. Okay. It's in the top right corner and you type in my brother. You can just use it as a coupon code. You got to go to proflowers.com.

You click on the blue microphone and you type in my brother. And this is going to be like a crazy, crazy deal. And you'll have it sorted. Like that's about how to say sorted, done. We got sent some flowers from proflowers.com. So we could see them in our home. Which was a fun thing.

Because they're according. Which was a fun thing to explain to my wife, Matt. I don't know about how that situation went down with your respect. Oh, you got me flowers. Yeah, sure. Yeah, sort of. Yeah.

Yes, of course I did, honey. I love you. Could you send me a picture of them though? So I can see what they look like. Yeah, they are gorgeous. And they are sitting in our home right now. And it's really nice. It's a nice vase.

The flowers came super fresh. And it's in a box. It's insane that this technology exists. But you take them out of the box and they look amazing. And you can get that right now. Go to proflowers.com. Click on the blue microphone. And in the top right corner type in my brother.

All one word. It's a microphone like a podcast. Because that's how you remember it. That's a mnemonic device. Yeah. And do it soon. So like right now. Yeah.

Because that won't last forever. Yeah, oh no. Unlike love, disorder won't last forever. You know who will live forever? Who? Yoshi. From Mario? No, from Brian.

Brian says, happy moving in together today. Thanks for being the best girlfriend ever. Whoa, really thrown down the gauntlet. If, against all odds, you actually do become a ghost before I do, please don't actually haunt my penis. Yeah, you didn't finish reading that sentence before you said it out loud, did you? I hope that's a conversation that Brian and Yoshi

have had before. And not only information that Brian is dropping on Yoshi. We've got a new quiz game we're playing in this section called Injoke or Terrifying Revelation. Let's hope that's an injoke. Also, I want the brothers to say that they love you one after another because you're so obviously awesome. You don't?

I can't just throw my heart around. No, you know what? I'm gonna say, Yoshi, I love you for putting up with Brian and all of his pee-pee talk. And I can say, I can say, I love Yoshi. And then it, maybe I'm talking about this person, maybe I'm just talking about the fact that Yoshi is my favorite character from Super Smash Brothers.

Fair enough. It does an awesome egg roll, and it's really hard to hit him. So. I love you. I love egg rolls. Yeah, me too. So, happy, have a good one, guys. Enjoy that journey together.

Be patient and be understanding and give of yourself, and it'll all work out for you. Wow, shit. Deep. Here's another message for Scott Forman Murray, who is 30 years old, American, in the American keeping of time. This message is from Lindsay, who says, Happy birthday, Victor.

Now, my memory is pretty short, but it's not so short that I forget that this dude's ass name is Scott. What are you doing, Lindsay? What kind of scam are you running? Happy birthday, Victor Scott. You are the best, funniest, smartest person I know, and my favorite human in the world. There's no one I'd rather spend the afternoon with,

let alone the rest of my life. Thanks for marrying me this year, and here's to another seven or so decades full of nonsense, sandwiches, squeezels, and car rides. Long car rides, listening to Mabin Band, as us. I love that this person has put a fairly fine point on when they're going to terminate. Yeah, 70 yourself?

Yeah. I mean, if we can get 70 out of this thing, fucking great. We'll beat the average. What's your name again? Victor? Victor Scott. Oh, no.

It's done. Guys, when it turns out that Travis just put in the wrong message there, be sure to email us so we can fix it next week. I simply did not. I am so proud to be an American, and to be hosting Throwing Shade with you. I am proud to have really deep brown eyes. Well, this is actually supposed to be,

you know this is supposed to be a thing so that people listen to our show. I've just been so busy this week, but I'm very happy to be here. The podcast is called... It's called Throwing Shade. You're the co-host, yeah. So, Throwing Shade, we talk about... You're the gay co-host.

I'm the female co-host. I always forget. We're friends in real life. And we talk about lady and gay issues. Yeah. And we talk about them in a way that is really disrespectful. Yeah. If you love the world and hate yourself.

Please listen to Throwing Shade. Yeah. I've had a Twitter account for a couple of years, but I've never really used it. A year ago, I was hired by a company with roots in the video game industry. I'm an artist. And a well-known company began following my little personal Twitter account, which led to several miscellaneous followers ranging from a couple YouTube stars

to minor league music producers. Now, I feel obligated to tweet in an attempt to build a personal brand. But what? I don't want to sound ditzy or boring, but I don't know how to form a decent thought around 140 character restriction. Help me, brothers. How do I tweet? That's from tongue-tied Twitter.

Now, you're both verified Twitter account holders, correct? And listen, people, we fucking get it, right? Justin and I are verified. Travis isn't. Ha ha ha. It's a great joke that Travis isn't verified, but it's not because like Travis is worse than us. It's not that he's like the worst brother.

It's not. No, no, Travis. Everybody's- That's what people seem to imply. Well, they can back the hell off. It's just that they've implied such mean things. We're allowed to goof on each other, but if anybody goofs on either of you, I'm taking them downtown to punch down.

Um, the problem is- Which is this gym that I go to, and then I will make them watch me lift weights, and then they'll be intimidated. Place up, and then we'll go around and- Travis is incapable of proving that he is who he is. That's a problem. Justin and me, we can do it.

Travis has a much, much harder time. That's because Travis's tweet material is so erratic, that you can't fucking pin him down. And erotic. It's erotic, erotic. He tweets in a serpentine pattern. You can't get a beat on his ass. Me, I'm pretty much always just talking,

asking people for healthy recipes, and complaining about video games. That's pretty much my entire Twitter. Yeah. Um, I mean, here's the thing. If we give you advice on your own personal brand, then it's just gonna come from our personal brands, and I do not need any more competition in my space,

which is pseudo-ironic, all lowercase tweets about the things that I did today. Here's one thing, one actual Twitter tip that I can give you is, it's a really good time to tweet when you're watching something on TV that a lot of people are watching. Dude, I got all my followers. That's when you can really harness the zeitgeist.

If you want to build a brand, that's when you do it. This is what you do, this is what you do. Throw a party during, like, the Oscars. Throw an Oscars party. Get, like, 12 of your super funny friends in the same room. Get them all drunk. And then when one of them says something funny, fucking tweet it.

That's yours now. That's your brand. They don't have to know. That's like a billi- Or you could do, like, you write in parentheses, like, H slash T, Joey bag of donuts, because then you're giving a hat tip to your friend Joey bag of donuts.

That's what that means. But don't include his Twitter account name, or else people will just, like, fucking flock there. You don't want to bleed your followers. It's all about SEO optimization. Now, SEO does stand for search engine optimization. You have to optimize your optimization. Listen, there's fucking layers to this thing.

It's Dante's Inferno. Don't be afraid to ask for a retweet. When I was watching the State of Union, I said, I hope the Commander-in-Chief has some Purell, because Colm Flu season doesn't care what you're the president of. And then later in the tweet, this is where a lot of people stumble,

I use the hashtag Purell please retweet this. And then the next day, okay, so they sort of missed the zeitgeist line. Kind of fell off it a bit. Purell did retweet me. So I have that. I have that in my sort of wheelhouse now. When I'm doing a bio, I say once retweeted by Purell.

And that's pretty exciting. Oh, the bio is so fucking important. Can we touch on that? You have to throw as many fucking buzzwords in there as you possibly can, including the word buzzword. Buzzword Ninja, Social Guru, Master of Tweet Karate. I want you guys to know I and probably all of our listeners cannot tell if this is all bullshit.

Forward thinker, think tank thinker, think think think. Good think. This all sounds pretty good to me. This sounds like how I do Twitter stuff. Learning optimization guru. Are you reading my bio? Social coordinator and master of tweet, Foo, Foo.

Yes. Do you guys ever see somebody's bio think, God's a good bio. I wish I thought of that. I honestly think I have the best Twitter bio on the entire Internet. So I haven't touched it since day one and I will never touch it. Can you tell us what it is? I cannot.

You got to go find out for yourself. All right, great. This is this fucking personal brand. Travis is all about establishing a mystery. That's why that motherfucker is not verified. They send him emails all the time like, Travis, do you want us to verify you? And he says, if you can find me,

try and just try and find me. You can. Like our friend Evan Minsker, right? His background. I think backgrounds are key too. That's your chance to sort of have fun. His looks like an image from an old cookbook from the 70s. And when I saw it, I thought, God, that's so cool.

I wish that was my background. And now he's got that going for him. He doesn't even have to worry about it. And then his Twitter icon is actually Jim Duggan. He's like crushing it. It's a destination Twitter account. Go spend some time on there. He's a real smart fellow.

That's a thing you got to have in it. Your Twitter account has to feel like an event. When somebody walks in, they got to think, like, whoa, I am just in time for this party because it is just getting started. And let me tell this out something for everyone. It's always great to throw a, hey, do you remember this? And then post a YouTube clip from Rocco's Modern Life.

And then not only did you not just come up with any actual original content, but you get to bask in all the glow of it as people go, thank you. Thank you for inviting me to Rocco's Modern Life. I think Travis just invented Buzzfeed. Here's the thing though, when you are putting up quotes from Rocco's Modern Life, make sure you source them to Morgan Freeman

because that's going to go viral. Do you guys want a Yahoo? Please. This Yahoo was sent in by Steven Schaus. Thanks, Steven. It's by Yahoo Answers user Lauren Duan who asks, what's the cheapest horse? And then additional info, I want a horse.

You want to go with the cheapest horse? What's, what guys? What's the cheapest horse? The problem is, is you get what you pay for. You go with those cut rate, you know, thrift store horses. It's only going to last you like two or three years before the needs and elbows start to wear out. You get a Shetland, like it's only going to put

you back a couple grand, but like you're not going to feel the fucking wind in your hair that you would get from a premium horse. Mm-hmm. It's just like, I don't, I think when you buy a horse, it's sort of like, it's sort of like buying a car maybe. So you could buy a shitty car, sure.

You're going to pay like a shit ton in terms of like upkeep and insurance. Like I imagine horse fees are like astronomical. And that's why nobody fucking happens. Well Griffin, let me throw out the differences when you buy a shitty cheap car. You don't have to feel any kind of emotions as it falls apart.

As opposed to buying a shitty living being and then going, I don't feel like feeding it. I've done a little research. Okay. Here's the thing. They're free horses. What the fuck? What the fuck?

What? What? What? I'm looking, right now, I'm looking at equine.com. Okay. And I'm looking at free horses. This is a section that is just free horses to a good home. Okay.

Can I just say then fuck all that other shit I just said? Because then you can just, you can just get a burner. You know what I mean? I want to write an untraceable horse. I want to write a horse. I don't know if I'm going to be able to pay 300 bucks a month to just like fucking stable this bad boy. I'm going to get a burner, take him out for the weekend.

And yeah, come on. Come this way. Come this way. Bye. That horse will outrun you. Good luck getting away from that horse. But you can just leave him in a field somewhere. And then he'll, you know, horses lived for a long time

before we like gave them oats and shelter and shit. They're very resourceful. They were horseful. They're going to be fine. They're going to be just fine. Get yourself a burner or a few. I'm looking at one lesson that caught my eye. This is smoky.

She's a sweet senior pony looking for a retirement home. And you know what? I appreciate the coded language, but I know what you're saying here is that you don't want to deal with her death. Can you even? You want me to be the one who's carrying that emotional burden. No, thank you. Can you have a senior pony?

Isn't a pony a young horse? No, no, we've been blasted for that before. Yeah. A pony is like a completely different thing. Shetland pony is not a tiny horse. I mean, it is a tiny horse. I mean, it is a tiny horse, but it will not eventually become a horse. Just add water.

Do not feed after me. Hold on. Have I been getting this wrong for a quarter of a century? Have I really been getting this wrong? I thought it was like when you call a goat a kid, because when it's a baby. No, no, it's a foal. And then a kangaroo has a joey, right? And then there's a murder, a murder of crows, if it's a bunch of baby crows.

A pony is not a baby horse. Are you fucking kidding me? No, it's that's this is the sorry like that's this is the way it is. I need to stop belaboring this. I need to just play it off like I got you guys goofs. Good jokes. This is like my character. I do on the show is a guy who doesn't know just like basic simple first grade shit.

So I'm sorry. I'm still trying to compartmentalize the knowledge that I could just have. Just go get a horse. Sure. Just go pick up a horse that lives at my house. Yeah. What defines a good home in that respect? Because I would love the horse.

Yeah, sure. And it would stand in my tiny backyard and my dog would probably bark at it. Does that work? You would be the Fagan of horses in that you wouldn't be able to take especially good care of the horse, but you would create like a loving environment and atmosphere. Also, you would teach the horse to steal. Probably a good way of doing this is to go to someone's home when they're not there and then damage all their belongings and then put their horse into the house.

And then when they show up, they're like, what happened? I got to get rid of this horse. I got to get rid of this horse. And then you show up like 15 minutes later like I heard you're having some horse bombs. And then you're a real flam flamster. I came from the city. I work for horse control. It's a huge trouble right here in River City with a capital H and that stands for horse.

Doesn't rhyme with anything though. We got a call from a horse who said he was going. He said, this is a direct quote from your horse. He's going to jack up your shit. And then also he finished the fried chicken you had in your fridge. Go check. Go check. I bet it's all gone.

He ate all of it. He sounded drunk. God, what a horse going to taste for chicken. No chicken will be safe. No chicken safe. The horses are so fast. And quite large, much larger than several chickens. Stop trying to ruin horses for me.

Let's do another question. Travis, there are so many in Cincinnati. You could just have one. Just have a horse. I'll take it. I'll take it. It's free. Are they all old ass fucking?

Do not look in its fucking mouth. I have to assume if they're not old, they're crazy. Like they are ready to bite and down to kill. Which is what I am looking for in an equine coupang. Oh, Travis, that would be a nice business though. You get a young horse that's kind of a dick. You break them, you bridle them, and you resell them for a profit. It doesn't sound like any work at all.

Sounds like I'd make money hand over fist. Now, when you worked at PetSmart, did you learn how to break and bridle a horse? Of course I did, Griffin. My education was three days long and all-encompassing. For all animals under the sun, under God's domain. What you got? The weirdest day was when we learned how to foster baby turtles.

Yeah, when you birthed. That was one full day. Then you birthed that Komodo dragon. That was a life-changing experience. And it imprinted on me. That's why you always see me with that Komodo dragon all the time, guys. I'm currently staying in a hotel now that serves complimentary breakfast in the mornings.

Like a dummy, the only shoes I brought were big old hiking boots for the wintery weather outside. Is it acceptable for me to just wear my socks to the hotel? Ew, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is from pretty sure I should be wearing shoes in PetSmart. Oh, no, no, I mean, you know it. You said it in the name, no. No, come on, no, no, I'm eating.

I'm eating a waffle I made. This is the fucking highlight of my entire year. Can you fucking put some shoes on? Please. Do your socks have holes in it? Doesn't matter. Put on some fucking shoes. I'm eating.

If someone walks in in socks, my meal is over. My meal is done. If you're okay. Well, if someone walks in, Justin's meal is done because he cannot stand to share the room with anyone else. How much do you guys love when you're at a hotel and that a hotel also has a pool and then pool people come to other areas of the hotel

in pool garb as though. Oh, it's so fucking awesome. They're just trying to bring their fucking kick back to making lifestyle to us of clothes. Every time we've ever been at Great Wolf Lodge, it's like, oh, I'm going to go down to the restaurant and add also the elevator is full of people that are soaking wet.

It feels so judgmental. It's like those commercials for Jamaica, right? Kick back, have a cocktail, relax. Why are you so? It's like, listen, I'm at a hotel. I'm trying to live my day to day life. I can't join you in your fucking wet bacchanal. Right.

I can't do it. Some of us have jobs and shoes. Jobs and shoes that are trying to eat free breakfast. That's crazy. You shouldn't eat any meal with bare feet ever. I think that's a sin. I'm okay with it as long as you're okay with me like sucking on cantaloupe or like staring at your toes.

Is that cool? Is that all right? Is it okay? Because that's what's going to happen. I'll hold the cantaloupe between my thumb and forefinger and I'm just going to think about your jobs. I bet this question to ask her is pretty hungry at this point.

Yeah. Don't wait on us. I would just wear the boots. I mean, I would prefer the boots, right? I would just wear the boots and like a onesie long underwear set. Yeah. Oh, and oh, do the boots and like the red, you know, flannel underwear and then like an old timing miners hat.

And then, and then just bring your own, bring your own thermos full of a little bit full of mine hooch. Yeah. I'm loving all of this. Talk about the vein you hit yesterday and how you think it's really going to pay out. Use your old prospector voice. This is the finest grits I've ever enjoyed.

Boy, how they sure does warm up the insides. You mean one of that good old meal? Where's the scrapple? Scrapple. I think we dug up Cthulhu yesterday. Let me get some oats. Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you tell that lady to put her fucking shoes on?

So if us are trying to live in a civilized society, goddamn it. Ah, we, we hope you've enjoyed listening to our radio program. My brother, my brother, me and invited you for the modern era half as much as we've enjoyed creating it for you. Thank you to people tweeting about the show, like Kyle Smith, Tyler Matheson, Corn Porter, Stephanie Stone-Rob, Slinky123, John Elliott, Cheeture, Chelsea Care, Christina, Funny Girl from Floor 9, Aru, recovering Ninja Cat, so many others.

You're all the best, and we sure appreciate all those tweets. If you want to tweet about the show, maybe include a link to our samplers, bit.ly forward slash mbmbam2013. I want to say thank you to everyone. They're such an abundance of really good questions. Yeah, I got a shit ton of great yahoo's too. Thank you guys. I don't think I read a yahoo today that was sent in by somebody who has done it before.

Like, that's awesome. Thank you guys so much. Welcome to the game. Yeah, and I don't think I've ever sent it before, but if, you know, we don't have time to answer everybody's questions. So if you've ever sent in a question before and you haven't heard us answer it, feel free to send it in again. I mean, it's quite possible that it's not that we didn't want to do it.

We just ran out of time. Sometimes we have them on the list of questions to hit. We just don't get to them. Yeah, and we read everything, so do keep sending those in. Real quick, I want to thank John Rodrick and the Long Winters for the use of our theme song, which is, is a departure off the album, Putting the Days to Bed. When I was putting together the yahoo's this morning, I was listening to Putting the Days to Bed and like, it's weird whenever it's a departure comes on,

I like get like freaked out. I think this show gives me a panic attack. And so when I hear it, I'm like, Oh God, do I need to be on right now? So if you want to have that same panic attack, you can get Putting the Days to Bed on, you know, Amazon, iTunes or whatever. Our boss, Jesse Thornt, is doing a conference for independent creators called Make Your Thing. He's trying to kickstart it now. It's going to be on October.

If you go to Google and just search Make Your Thing, you'll see the Kickstarter there. Go kick in some bucks and maybe go to the event. There's going to be some other cool, cool shit there. I forget all the big names that are going to be there talking, but I know Jane Espenson. Jane Espenson, yeah. Chris Getthard, Merlin Mann. Merlin Mann is going to be there. Fucking Colt Cabana, the the Art of Wrestling podcast guy.

He's fucking fantastic. I saw him do his do his thing in Chicago once. Anyway, yeah, go check that out and check out the other shows on MaximumFund.org. There's a lot of new ones. There's a lot of golden oldies. There's a, you know, Stop Podcasting Yourself, Jordan Jesse Go, Bullseye, Judge John Hodgman, new shows like The Goose Down, Oh No, Ross and Kerry. Saw Bones.

Yeah. Saw Bones. Oh guys, do you know about Saw Bones? Saw Bones. Check out Saw Bones. Check out Wham Bam Pow. Wham Bam Pow. It's become one of my new favorites and I listen to it every week.

And yeah, go look at all those. If you have any questions for our guest spurt, it's going to be on next week. Send those in. What's the topic? The the topic that our guest spurt is a guest spurt in is Gays and Lesbians in the media. So if you want to focus your questions on that, or if you just have any questions that you don't want us to answer because you know we don't know about it, that seems like a pretty safe bet too.

Just make sure you put like Gaspert in the subject so that we do not miss them and that we know that you want it directed specifically at our guest spurt. All right, you guys ready for that final? Hit me. It's finally Yahoo was sent in by Andy Davenport. Thanks Andy. It's by Yahoo. Answers user Shane Stevens who asks,

If you ride a horse to school, does the principal have to take care of it? I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This is my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad. Square on the lips. Hello, my name is Gray.

I'm Clark. My name is Dave Shumka. Together we host a show called Stop Podcasting Yourself. We're from Canada. Oh whoa, don't hang up, don't hang up. And every week we're lucky enough to be joined by a guest, sometimes a comedian, or sometimes just somebody that we like and somebody probably you've never heard of. And trust us.

If you followed us this far into the promo, just try it out, please. Do we sound too desperate? Stop podcasting yourself on MaximumFun.org.