My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 290: Kung Fu Panda 3 Watch

Episode Date: February 16, 2016

Everybody said it would never happen -- that America hadn't done anything good enough to deserve a third installment in the Kung Fu Panda saga. And they're all right: We don' t deserve Kung Fu Panda 3, but we got it anyway. And because of this gift, we have something to talk about for the first ten minutes of our podcast. Suggested talking points: Kung Fu Panda 3 Excitement, Ticket to Paradise, A Calm Response to Travis' Museum Nights Memories, Weightlifting Music, Three Dougs, Popeye's Eulogy, Three Serious Messages

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello, everybody, and welcome to a very special edition of My Brother, My Brother, and Me. My name is Justin McElroy, and I'm your oldest brother. My name is Travis McElroy, and I'm your middlest brother. I'm your sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy boys.

The fucking energy is electrifying in the studio today. That's because we're all on fire waiting for our chance to see Kung Fu Panda 3. America's favorite panda po is back. He's joined by Brian Cranston as Lee Dustin, a galaxy of stars. A whole nebula of beautiful stars shining up there on the silver screen. I gotta say, Kung Fu Panda 3 watch, it's been a while since we've had a watch before. It's been a while. And now here we are again, and I have to say congratulations, Kung Fu Panda 3. Didn't it come out like a month ago? No, it's on right now. We're all waiting for our chance to see it. I feel like I've been seeing previews for it for like two and a half years.

Well, that's because they've got to build the heat, they've got to build the buzz. Travis and Hollywood things are very competitive today. Griffin, what can you tell me about what you know about the plot of Kung Fu Panda 3? Well, following on the heels of Kung Fu Panda 2, the Dragon Shrine has been disgraced by the ape colony, and they are, they will have a big fight, and Lucy Liu is a snake in it. We seem to have lost Griffin, so excited, so fully pumped. Guys, I just got so excited, this electrifying energy, my throat literally closed up and I couldn't breathe for like a full 30 seconds. Do you have your EpiPen? Your Kung Fu Panda 3

branded EpiPen? Yeah, it just shoots, it shoots like ramen, ramen broth into my veins. That's the thing, right, that he likes, that he is both a Kung Fu Master and a Chubbster. Like is that the whole point of the three movies? I am so excited about Kung Fu Panda 3. I have yet to watch one and two, but I really feel like three is the one that's going to get me into this franchise. A lot of people ask me, are you worried that you'll be lost, Justin? Like when I just saw the Matrix 3? A lot of people have been asking me, Justin, is Kung Fu Panda 3 a good entryway to the series? And as somebody who has not seen Kung Fu Panda 1 or 2, but is very excited about 3. Also has not seen 3 yet, because again,

gang, it's been out for a couple days, we just haven't, who's got the time? Just haven't made it, but the fire is electrified. But my answer to that question is an unqualified yes. This is the place for new fans and I feel like a new generation is about to fall in love with Poe, that beloved Kung Fu Panda. I was led to believe that Kung Fu Panda 3 was a bit of a reboot for the series, much grittier, much darker. It's the first one to have an R rating. The other ones really skirted it with like a really hard PG-13. Yeah, the Fu stands for fucking yeah. And this is the first one that really like leans into the original source material. And as I get full frontal Panda nudity. Well, that's the, that's the whole, that's always been

the whole franchise. Panda don't wear pants. Yeah. Yeah. But this time you actually see his dong. You can see his dong to the whole thing. I've been led to believe. Haven't caught it yet, but do you think? Well, they're not going to show it in the previews, Justin. They're not going to give away the cow when you get the dong for free. Oh my God, guys. Right now, stop what you're doing and find a poster of Kung Fu Panda 3. I'm going to drop a link for my brothers here in our Skype chat. If you could just look at that poster real quick and imagine his dong was there. It's the greatest poster that has ever been or ever will be. I understand this is a visual gag. It's too important. Okay. But no, yeah, it would be, yeah. It would be literally sitting. He's got his legs spread,

balancing between two pillars as it looks like six children look up like perfectly where, you know what? You don't even need to have the dong on this poster. There's six children looking up into his, either his dong or his asshole. They can see, they can see through him. The children in this poster are looking at his gaping butthole. They're all baby birding underneath his gaping butthole. One dude is literally mouth a gap in his gaping butthole. This spiritual sequel to the human centipede takes Poe in the role of the nutrient provider and the baby pandas as those who are gobbling up the sweet, sweet food. Are you reading this from the IMDB page, Justin? Yeah, this is from the credits narration. The scroll. This is the scroll that goes up before the film.

I'm just so fucking excited to see this movie. I'm so fucking excited to see Kung Fu Panda 3 as soon as I get the opportunity. Again, I went to Hong Kong last year and I saw an actual panda and you know what I did? I yelled fuck you at it because it's not my Poe. I said not my Poe. I'm most excited about Jackie Chan in the film. Absolutely. And is it live action Jackie Chan like Michael Jordan in Space Jam? It's like Cool World Jackie Chan edition. But if Jackie Chan dies in Kung Fu Panda 3 does he die in the real world? Any world with Jackie Chan in it is a Cool World. It's like who framed Jackie Chan except nobody can because how are you gonna stop him? He just chopped that framed bits, chopped it to matchsticks. Hey Travis. Yes? Rank them.

Good question, Justin. I'm gonna say one, two, and three. You're counting. Rank them. Okay, two, three, and one. And to provide some justification for your rankings. Okay, well I'm gonna say two because it's my favorite and then three because it's my second favorite and then one because it's my third favorite. Okay, perfect. That's excellent. Griffin, rank them. Oh, shit. Dustin Hoffman, Seth Rogen, Kate Hudson, yeah, James Hong. Oh, okay. Fuck, Mary, Kill, Jack Black, Poe, Poe with Jack Black's head. God. Oh, well, I would probably fucking kill all of them. We are just so excited about Kung Fu Panda 3. Just so excited the electricity in the studio is electrifying. We're on fire here for this film. Brian Cranston was a breaking bad

and he could have done anything. You know what he did? Several things. And then after those, do you know what he did after those? A couple more. And then you know what he did? Kung Fu Panda 3. Okay. Actually, it says on his IMDb page he ran out of things to do and started back at the beginning again with Kung Fu Panda 3 because Brian Cranston is a flat circle. Brian Cranston wet because there are no more countries to come. So he said, fuck it, it's time for me to get up in the Panda Mix. And so he did it. Oh, god, I'm fucking raging hard on for this flick, guys. Just like Poe. Wait. Hey, let's go not to the money zone because we haven't earned that, but let's do some advice. Okay, sure. Sounds good. I guess I'll close this picture of Kung Fu Panda now. Here's my first piece

of advice. Get a ticket today to go see Kung Fu Panda. See it in 3D. See it in 1D. You'll still enjoy it. It's just a line. It's just a line of changing color. And sound, that glorious sound, which is like a fifth dimension because you'll be teleported. Jesus, Justin, you're right. What? Sound is the fifth dimension. Hey, why are we just now figuring this out? Uh, you're welcome. If gravity waves, shmavidy waves, I say go see Kung Fu Panda 3. It's got gravity in it. It's got gravity and it'll take you to the sound. And it's got gravity toss. It's got gravity toss. It's so important. So important. So important. I wish this movie had a smell so I could smell it. Yeah. Find the right theater. Or the wrong one.

Hey, a question here. So I will read a question. I'm just, I'm sorry. I'm just excited right now. You need a distraction. Is that what it is? Is it the 10 solid minutes of talking about Kung Fu? I'm not sure we've gotten the 10 solid minutes of expressing our excitement about Kung Fu Panda 3. I'm using new recording equipment and I can't tell exactly where it started. No, we're at 10. Are we at fully 10? Like I don't want to tell people. Okay, let me see this. Poe would never promise to use Kung Fu on someone and then not do it in front of an audience. And I don't want to promise 10 minutes of unadulterated Kung Fu Panda 3 excitement content and then not deliver it in the final recording. That's a great point. So if there's anything Griffin, any stitch of audio

you think you might edit out from the previous 10 minutes, please, please let me know. The only part that I'll edit out is more about the adventures of Poe and Coe. The only part I'll probably edit out is where I talked about how my excitement for this film had given me a raging hog. Raging hog is my favorite of the Kung Fu Panda crew too. He's like a mean old Mongolian pig man. It's slippery snake, raging hog, hot cock, throbbing cock, throbbing cock, whistling clam, rabbit weasel, listen, hey, penis, penis Tom. This is unexpected and perhaps a little unprecedented in cinema, but I am so excited about Kung Fu Panda 3 that I want to sequel to Kung Fu Panda 3. Yes, is that possible? Anything's possible in this crazy, weird, holly weird.

Okay, so I answered some questions now. I'm just really, it's really hard for me to uh... Well, let's give it a try and we'll see like how it goes. If I offer a coveted ticket to an event for free to someone, how long should I give them to respond? I had someone hymn in half a weeks before... Before taking the ticket to Kung Fu Panda 3. That's what the ticket, why did it have to be about a ticket? Because that's all I can think about is, let me just, I'll just insert it so my mind doesn't wander, okay? Okay. I'm watching a trailer at another window. Let me just pause it, hold on.

Wait, I've got three of them going simultaneously, so let me put a different part so they're looping it asleep. Let me just pause. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right, I got them all closed. Well, minimized so I can still hear them. If I offer a coveted ticket to Kung Fu Panda 3 for free to someone, how long should I give them to respond? I had someone hymn in half a weeks before giving me a response about going to Kung Fu Panda 3 with a free hotel room provided. Oh, man. Now, to be fair, the movie's so good, it really took it out of me. I need to go to sleep right now. Well, we provide hotel rooms. To be fair, that is, it was actually regarding Comic-Con and a free hotel room hundreds and

hundreds of dollars as opposed to the $12.95 to see Kung Fu Panda. In 2D? Okay. You pay extra for 2D? Yeah, I would. How many D's you want? You're going to get them all in Kung Fu Panda 3D. Another friend waited a week to tell me they couldn't make it to a music festival. That's from Irritated Altruist. So, this is great. The first of all, Comic-Con with a free hotel room is, that's what, like a G? That's like one stack easily? Yeah. That's like great. That's an enormous thing to give to somebody for free. Evidently not like shoot from the hip and be like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, a thousand dollars. Thank you. Yes. At the very least, they could take it and resell it and get

that stack. I feel like you're so within your rights after like three days to just say like, hey, I need to hear back on this. If you can't do it, I'll ask someone else. Like, I think you can grindstone a little bit. It's worth, if there's a value on it, I think it's worth giving them a timetable when you make the offer. If there's any himming and hauling, just like, hey, I need you to let me know in like three days, because if not, I'm going to get somebody else to go with me. Because I think that at offering it, like offering a timeline later, it feels like, like I think that you're, I think it makes you seem desperate for like, considering the fact that you're like giving someone a gift, like you shouldn't have to do that.

You shouldn't have to establish a timeline later. They should just be accepting and like going for it. And there's a really, you get to use the sentence, I really need to figure this out, which is a really official sounding sentence, but doesn't actually like imply any kind of consequences. It's not like, I got, I got Jim breathing down my neck, man, I really got to finish and figure this out. So if after like three days, you can just be like, yeah, I really need to get this figured out. Are you able to go? Because if not, I need to like figure something else out. You know what, I'm about to tow a pretty hard line on this. You give them 30 fucking seconds, this is a $1,000 trip I'm offering to take you, my best friend, Kyle, to,

you have 30 fucking seconds to make up your mind because it's a thought. This is a wonderful opportunity. And if you don't talk about it, I, I, here's, here's, okay. Here, when I tell, when someone asks me if I want to do something, when I say, let me look at my schedule and figure it out, I'm lying almost, almost all the time. I'm lying. I think everybody is right. Like, if you're into something and you're like into it right away, you just say yes. And they'll figure it out. They'll figure it out around that. If I say, let me think about it. Let me look at my schedule. What I'm saying is let me talk to my wife and see if she can help me cook up a pretty good lie for why I can't go to your thing. Like she won't let me lie, but she'll help me come up

with a reason why I can't because I need, I need that sometimes to help sort through these things. Or my wife will convince me, Hey, this is something you should probably do. It'd be good for you to do it. But either way, like, it means let me talk to my wife about it. I don't, and that's not necessarily a reflection on you. The question asking, I don't know whether they want to go with you. Sometimes just committing to something in the future, like gives me such panic attacks of like, yeah, but what if something happens? But what if like in a month, somebody tells me I need to do blah, blah, blah, you know what I mean? Like, it's not always like, why don't want to go with Joan? Sometimes it's like, okay, but like, do I want to commit to something three, like I sat on

buying concert tickets for like 20 minutes, just going, but who knows the future? I did the opposite. I accidentally bought 17 tickets to Carly Rae Jepsen this coming weekend. You just kept clicking? I just kept doing it over and over again, because it's like, what if I lose the first 16? What would you rather have? Would you rather have someone hymn and ha for like two weeks, or have someone say yes immediately, and then like a week before the event be like, Hey, I can't go. And now you're fucked. Oh, that's a good point, Travis, because the side effect of them answering too quickly might be

that they have to bail. And that's the worst, right? Yeah. So I feel like you have to find a balance between those two of like, here's your timeline. So it gives me enough time to ask other people, because especially if it's like, listen, it's four months still, Comic Con or whatever, I need an answer. And then versus like, okay, well, I have three days till Comic Con to find someone else to go with. You know, I tell you if you, oh, sorry, go ahead, Gryff. I'll tell you if you really want to get good and making these kinds of distinctions, plan a wedding, because that is literally just like 150 times. Just like, A, you want to come

get like fucked up and eat some sick food and dance to some dope tunes with me and my newly betrothed. And then you'll get like, let me sit on that for a month and a half. Oh, the happiest day of your life. Let me just sit on that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll totally be in there. Yeah, totally. Five days before the event. Can't make it. Guess you have to throw that food in the yard. Guess you have to pour that wine down the toilet. I think the better approach is to not ask people way out in advance, because for me, the likelihood that I'll accept an offer like this actually grows as it gets close to the event, because I then I think it starts to take on the fun of spontaneity. One time I was going

to a murder mystery with a bunch of friends and I had two friends who had an had an illness in the family and they had to bail like 24 hours before. And my friend Michael Beck lives in Indiana and I called that thug the morning of and said, Hey, get in your car and start driving to Ohio. You're going to a murder mystery this weekend. And that dude did it. He found an Ascot and that weekend he ended up running from a Guy in a Werewolf costume. So these things do pay it out sometimes. Wait, what? Yeah, it was that. It was a whole crazy story that we'll have to tell. It's the most scared I've ever been in my entire life. I don't want us to get too deep into it, but I do want to say like that's not a good murder mystery. The werewolf done did it.

The werewolf was a rogue member. The rare he was not associated with the company putting on the murder mystery. He was, if you will, a lone wolf. Yeah. Okay. And he scared me in a gypsy camp and I ran silently through the woods. I ran into a tree, but he could not find me. I was very proud of myself. You cover your tracks. You put them at a tiger pit. The one last thing I want to say about this. I also pretended that a gun I had had magical wolf killing powers because what's a werewolf shows up? You're playing Calvin Ball. The rules of the murder mystery don't feel like. The best way to play is a mice of men. Just go straight down the turlet when a werewolf rolls up. Do you guys want a yahoo? Can I take a quick sidebar? Yeah. It's not about Kung Fu Panda 3.

It is not true. Though it is about cinema. I would say now top three discussions that we've had on My Brother, My Brother, Me and we never circle back around to things on this show. It is actually a part of the DNA of this program that we never look back. No, it is a linear march through time. We had our next removed. But I have to say the conversation that we've gotten, perhaps the most, at least top three feedback in the entire history of the show, has been our conversation about Travis's experience watching Night of the Museum through with three mikes. Folks, we had like, like Freddie Wong, who is an actual person who is making video professionally, create a fabrication, a lie to support Travis's story. There are people creating fake web pages.

There are people who reshot Malcolm in the middle scenes to try to justify it. Yeah. Frankie Muñoz came out of retirement to shoot Malcolm in the middle scenes. I don't know who the fuck the like, who's leading this worldwide Illuminati conspiracy just to troll me and Justin. I think everybody's been saying like, Travis, you've been vindicated. I also thought I was making it up. Yeah. I also believed it was a fever dream brought on by Ben Stiller's amazing performance in Night of the Museum. In case you didn't listen last week, Travis saw Night of the Museum three and could swear that the film was framed in such a way that he was seeing like

boom mikes and stuff through the entire. Well, let's not rewrite history is Night of the Museum one. I have never nor will ever see Night of the Museum three. They know what they did. Let me just say this because the thing we've heard is there's a thing called according to this fucking worldwide conspiracy thing called open matting, where the fucking projectionists are apparently supposed to put up the letter box around it. And if they don't put it up right, you see the wires and shit. That's the joke we said. That's the most thing. That's the most ridiculous thing ever. People would film this shit and be like, cameraman, are you sure? Because there's like, yeah, some 18 year old drunk kid will take care of it. Yeah, don't worry guys.

We got it 90 yards down the field. Drunk Brian, drunk 16 year old Brian's going to get it the rest of the way. He's going to run it into the inside while he's playing with his nunchucks. We put $6 trillion into the making of Avatar. I think Brian's got it. Do you think that if you saw Avatar like this, that the bomb is crazy to see like James Cameron's legs as he's moving puppets around and shit? You would see the Navi's like, like bottom of their torsos and it's just not painted blue. It's just like a regular fleshy torso and like a regular non blue genitals. I'm not even wearing my, I'm not even wearing my Navi pants done here. Guys, let's loosen up. Casual Friday. Brian's got it. You see that hand up Yoda's ass, like making a talk. Like this is

the worst hours I've ever seen. You see the puppeteers other hand, like making a fake jerk-off motion on the Yoda puppet. Like, ah, get it. Don't worry, Brian, we'll get this. What the fuck? Holly weird. Do you think if we open Matt Kung Fu Panda 3, we'll see like Jack Black underneath Poe like doing my lines down here. Just writing tenacious D lyrics. Yeah. Ah, fuck. So Travis was lying. Please, please, please, please, please God, you're embarrassing yourselves and stop sending us these Malcolm in the middle screen caps. I mean, I love good Malcolm in the middle jokes as much as anybody, but fuck. I'll take as many glossy J-picks as Malcolm in the middle. You can just zip those right over to my inbox. Yeah, just zip drive those up, put them on a jazzy drive,

just flip those over to us, please. I will say there was one of these that showed dewy standing. It's the most mental thing I've ever seen. This weird dewy homunculus standing next to Frank Immunus. Holy shit. Yeah. What was the kid who played dewy do it? Yeah. Is it on me? No, that I'll be in my fucking trailer. Get Dennis out here. And listen, if you guys get the madding wrong, I'll fucking kill you. I have it in my contract. Dewy, damn it. It's as though someone is filming Malcolm in the middle and behind them, someone is suiting Malcolm in the middle. Like, they're creating their own Malcolm in the middle fan film directly in the same shot. This one was sent by Morgan Davy. Thank you, Morgan. It's by Yahoo Answers user Wade, who asks,

can anyone recommend some good weightlifting music? I'm making a playlist of workout songs for my high school weight room, and I need some great heavy metal songs with great pump-up riffs and heavy drums. Nothing from the 80s, please. Late 90s to modern day, please. YouTube links would be appreciated. No rap, pop, hip-hop, or techno. Nothing from the 80s? Go fuck yourself. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of restrictions on here that this person can go fuck themselves about. Does weird outfit into this? Now, explain. I think they would make really good pump-up jams. Okay. I respectfully disagree. Fair enough. What about when were the Scorpions? They're actually, they're modern day. They're describing like once, it's like they want you

to back into one song. Like they would win a song in mind. Yeah, no, this is across my weightlifting bridge. You must answer this riddle. How about this? If you're trying to get sick gains, then might I recommend Chris Gaines? The heaviest of metals. Fuck heavy metal. No, let's put that restriction in the garbage because that's the case that we're not going to get anywhere. We know how to get this person sick gains better than anybody, and that is to listen to the sweat pumping, muscle grinding, rock, rock riffs of Chris Gaines. That was the whole point of Chris Gaines, right? Because Garth Brooks said, okay, well, I can't, I can't do the heavy rock that I want to. So he Stefan or Keld himself and made Chris Gaines so Chris Gaines could do

the rock anthems that he had been dreaming of. The greatest regret of my life is that this program was not in production while the Chris Gaines saga was unfolded. Oh, geez. My dream actually, I want our Max Fun bonus episode to be a alternate reality episode released the week that Chris Gaines is like on SNL and behind the music. And like, can you imagine why that's happening? Because I like, I'm so sad that I was not talking. Do you know that this fool said Chris Gaines was from Australia? Like, can you imagine being in like his management entourage group when fucking G Brooks is like, guys, I've guys guys got this sick idea. He said he's from Australia. Like, like, first off, like, you're not only locking yourself into like making this all to ego. If you

do an interview, you have to like Garth Brooks is like, Oh, fuck, they have they talk different, don't they? Shit. Okay, hold on. Give me a second. Let me try to cook. Ship on the baby. Like, girl, it's me, Chris Gaines away Garth Brooks. Can I pivot a little bit? Why do people work out? Why do why do people get those sick gains to get those fucking glistening fish lifters? I'm only calling them Chris Gaines right now, by the way. All I want in the gym is Chris Gaines. Okay. Is it to impress people that they would like to engage in sexual congress with? That's probably part of it, right? But there's a lot of different ways that you can do that. I think for the most part, it is an intimidation, right? You make yourself bigger to scare. I mean,

this is this is basic wilderness shit. You make yourself big to scare off a predator. So you want to make yourself big so you can intimidate people and get like fucking power plays all over the place. And that's the case. I think you carry that whole aesthetic over to the gym while you're trying to get Chris Gaines. To that extent, why not just put on a song on a big speaker that's just going to sort of freak everybody out and and while you're while you're getting your gains and sort of attract attention to yourself and you are enjoying it and getting Chris Gaines to a song that maybe people don't understand and maybe they're scared of that. And maybe just say anything the whole thing and you're just lifting the speaker over your head

and that's how you're doing your curls. You're getting your Chris Gaines by blasting Chris Gaines over your head and just screaming. Chris Gaines is too obvious to show. I'm saying we we keep it weird. I'm saying what about the like you're doing some deadlifts to the theme song to the cartoon show Bobby's World. Okay. You're like crunching it and you've got like a lot of crunching some bars and it's just like oh fuck yeah. Oh yeah. Some big gains today boys. Sounds like a guy masturbating to Bobby's World. Yeah. It can be both. Yeah. 61. It is kind of a I mean I will say this. It's kind of a horrifying theme song. Like it's kind of really out of context. It's very like Tim Burton's clown nightmare. Yeah. If you slowed that down

like a half beat like I think you would have something very, very terrifying. Put it in like a minor key and then you just hit the fucking everyday fitness and get some fucking fish lifters. What if you just played books on tape over the sounds system? What book? What book? What book? What book? What book? This is good. This is Travis to really love. Okay. Yeah. Eat, pray, lift like that. Pray, lift. Dear God please let me get gains today. Oh thank you. Well you please I've told you this before. Don't pray with your mouth full. It's rude to me. It's rude to God. You want to go to the Money Zone? Yeah. Oh yeah. You want to see a great website. Maybe the best one ever. Go to McElroyshows.com and you're going to

see a modern work of like art. I guess art maybe is it yeah art. It's art. It's art and science and commercialism and capitalism and like big business and fuck boys we sold out. We did it. Travis how hard was it to make a site with Squarespace? I suggested and I'm not just saying this because they are sponsors this week. It was the easiest fucking thing in the world. And not just easy to do but easy to make look really nice because they had amazing templates and it was a lot of it was just like okay I'm going to type in this thing and then they took that information and turned it into a really polished sharp looking website. We've got a website that I I can't recommend it enough how much I loved working with Squarespace and how many

compliments I've gotten on it. Yeah it looks pro and it's not that hard to do. You can start your free trial today visit Squarespace.com slash my brother. You should Squarespace. I want to talk about me undies wearing them right now. I've got those lounge pants. It is like a blanket. Did you get those Keith Herring Valentine's Day designs? Of course I got those Keith Herring Valentine's Day designs. I wore them and I felt can I just say something and this may turn some people off. I felt sexy all day. I felt I'm more worried it may turn some people on. I'm not worried about that at all. I felt grown sexy. I felt boy I felt terrific like a grown sexy lad like like Poe and Kung Fu Panda too when he finally except with your dong covered. Yes please

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matching underpants go do it. Go get it. We also have we have another message here. How can people get messages on our show Travi? Oh you can go to maximumfund.org forward slash jumbo tron Griffin. That's a great question. Thank you. Can I tell you about Photo Jojo? I wish you would. I love Photo Jojo. The bad guy from fucking Powerpuff Girls? No that's his brother. Okay. Photo Jojo has photography gear for everyone because everyone has a camera in their pocket these days from nifty little lenses that attach to your phone to the latest instant camera from Polaroid. Yep they still make them to cute camera straps and backup phone batteries. Go check out all this great stuff at photojojo.com. That's photo like the word photo jojojojo.com. Use the

coupon code middleist to save five buck arenas. Plus it took a lot to convince my coworkers that this ad would be money well spent. Show them I'm right men bambinos. The cutest thing they got is they have a sort of a battery that plugs in your phone to charge it up and it's called apple juice and it looks like a little container of apple juice. It's fucking adorable. I think we Teresa got that right? Photo Jojo just had some cool stuff. Teresa got the apple juice. There's really like super cute stuff really neat accessories and like if you want to take better photos with your phone which is still a standard you can do that by the way. That's wild and not just phone stuff. They have camera equipment to photojojo.com coupon code middleist. Can I tell a quick little

vignette? Yeah. I was at a wedding this past weekend in New Orleans and it was cute. They had the guest book and then right next to the guest book they had like one of these instant Polaroid cameras that take like the little pictures little guys and then they had a little another book that you would just like slide those into and like write your names right next to your picture your little your little Polaroid selfie but we were like an hour into the wedding and we realized nobody had used it yet and so I mean Rachel were like well the people who play in this wedding probably like wanted people to do this so like let's just like get it started so people feel more comfortable and then we did it we took a picture of ourselves and put it in the book

and and you know signed it and then like a half hour went by and I started to get legitimately worried that we would be the only people to do it and then our like wedding present to them would be like here's a book with a picture of us only in it happy wedding it's the Griffin and Rachel book for us at your wedding it's us though it is us though it's your wedding your special day but it's our fucking book you think about just filling it with pictures of you and Rachel did think about that which would be another fun gift for anybody anybody would love that I got a message for Thomas from Sierra Madden Puppy and Piggy it says happy birthday I wrote you a haiku here we go my dungeon master you are the Tom to my grunk

Mandy Patinkin I feel like at the end they just needed they were maybe short on this Justin everyone knows that in in a haiku you have to either have a reference to like spring the nature weather or Mandy Patinkin you're talking about Kigo mm-hmm of course yeah and I guess I am but aren't we all the traditional Kigo are you know they're relating to the the current season so something like leaves, flowers, renewal, sunshine, Mandy Patinkin because because fucking homelands about to start up again people still on the tip huh he he's just get one of his albums singing Broadway show to kid alts don't mind if I do buy a copy of kid alts right now on amazon because I can't find mine probably because I gave it to a dear friend

uh and another exciting announcement I committed I committed kid altery unfortunately uh everybody who uh uh has a question read or a message on today's show will receive a uh a free ticket to go see kung fu panda three uh just email me justin at team google.com and I'll make sure you get I'm not fucking with you I will make sure you get enough fandango cash to go see kung fu panda three if you use it for anything else I'll fucking know I will wait how do you that's only if you have a question right on the show not if you just email just yeah no if you have a question right on the show or or one of those messages is from you then please let me know and I'll make sure you get your ticket to kung fu panda three and you gotta go fucking see it if I want to do the thing

I want to see a ticket stop you guys and we want to see pictures of you at the movie I will end holding the ticket self torn torn ticket I will if you go fucking see Deadpool I'll spend all my days trying to burp I will salt the earth I will call your place to employment and say don't become a wanderer dark don't think don't think that you're gonna like out thank justin and say like oh I can think of a funnier thing to do with this fan date no no there is nothing funnier you can do then go see kung fu panda three and then let Justin know what you thought of it this is an important question Justin will you be paying enough for them to see it in 3d i max or just for your basic 2d I'm not made of money it's a basic 2d version this film is certified fresh 81% please stop

fucking around and go see kung fu panda three in we are not in any way paid to do this I cannot make this clear enough this is not native marketing or whatever the fuck it's called we're just fans we're just fans of kung fu panda three despite never having seen one of the films I've seen the first how I have seen I think they're an episode of the tv show is that jack black or is that a jack black alike I think it's probably just like his brother jack brown idiot let's be honest we live in a world with too much media you need a podcast on the front lines figuring out what's great we're here for you we're pop rocket I am Guy Branham I'm a comedian I'm winter Mitchell I call myself a digital strategist I'm Oliver Wang academic and disc junkie Margaret Woppler J.

Sweet as John Elise and we watch listen to and read everything so that you don't have to and then we tell you about all the things that you'll love to love find us in iTunes or wherever you download podcasts pop rocket every Wednesday from maximum fun.org I'm a fashion student I love clothes and putting together outfits but like you often say a ship in harbor is safe and sometimes I mess the heck up and if this happens in bd I'll go change but my friends and fam now make fun of me for times when they've seen me in two or three outfits in a day I paint so and go out pretty often so that's not just from sartorial flute bubs my question is how are people not doing this are some people just okay with being uncomfortable socially or physically

with their outfits do I have a problem not currently in the new in the nude in the north xx so this person will often change clothes multiple times throughout the day oh okay got it um no I mean no I have like a uniform basically you realize we're three dugs like basically three dugs I got some t-shirts I got some jeans I got some cowboy boots and that's that's what I call my Travis with that's all the accessories that come with the Travis doll I have never I have never worn khaki pants where I did not first have a thought where the fuck are my khaki pants like that that's every time they were not at the ready yeah they I do not have them like ready to go at this wedding I went to last weekend I brought my wedding wear and then I found out there was a cocktail party

the night before and was like yeah you should wear something nice for that I was like well that's going to be a problem because I have wedding griffin and that's just it I don't have a cocktail party griffin style I Teresa was telling me her father has every day that she's known him um when he gets home from work he immediately like walks in the door and the first thing he does is changes every stitch of clothing to like his home wear and I love this idea like socks like everything he's doing in the Japanese town yeah he's he's like sloughing off work in a very physical real way that I think is a pretty cool move I don't get that move because I'm at home in pajama pants all day so I can't be like oh another tough one oh the old rat race trying to time to put on some

comfier clothes I wish I had a dedication to do that I wish I wish that I did have we've talked about this I mean literally last week I wish I had the dedication to to wear something like more stern and restrictive to just have that freedom at the end you put on a tie every day it's important to know I want to make it clear that when I talk about my father-in-law he's not like changing into pajamas he gets home he changes into other regular clothes that you could then go out back into the world then and then changes again for bed so he he's like got work outfit home outfit sleep outfit I think that's pretty cool and his his his casual yukata a kimono worn in the casual times I don't want to part the kimono but that's what Travis his dad-in-law

wears griffin you have another yahoo for us yes how about this one it was sitting by level 9000 yahoo drew drew drew Davenport thank you drew Davenport the Poe of humans big imposing kind loving excellent at kung fu dick out dick always out 24 7 24 7 dick out bonanza I'm not going to tell him how to do his thing though because obviously he's he knows what's up thank you drew Davenport is by yahoo answers user Steffi who asks please I need to know how to start with Popeye the sailor man eulogy for my speech class what please I need the speech for this Monday what please Travis I need to know how to start with Popeye the sailor man eulogy for my speech class okay wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait there's a very important

distinction here please are you giving a eulogy for Popeye the sailor man or as Popeye the sailor man as as guys as hysterical as I think we could make the latter uh with all of us doing our our Popeye impressions and what have you I think I think we should focus on the former which is my dude what has this this motherfucker here that's what we're doing he got me clean he got me clean right now Popeye the sponsor man I love him like a brother I never told him he was my real brother my name was my real I'm Stephen the sailor man I'm churches the sailor the sailor man oh god if our father papi the sailor man we're here today but of course they haven't spoken in 36 years and now it's too late damn it's too late the living

years damn it Popeye this is how you do me you leave me like this you son of a bitch I mean we know his cause of death right Bluto who is like Bluto is fucking huge just killed him finally do you think Bluto is there do you think he had the fucking sheer balls sorry Popeye I didn't mean to didn't mean to we were just doing our usual punch routine I punched you and you went through the roof only this time you I hit you through a horse and then you got one of them big swell and lumps on top of your head and the horseshoes swung around it but then you didn't get up again I punched you tell your brain stopped working then I tried to pour the spin notch down your mouth and you choked on him and this cartoon doesn't fell on your head

can you imagine anything funnier than seeing Bluto just like forcing the jaw of ice corpse down everybody comes around and Bluto like lifts him up and puts his arm around him like I know he's fun listen why are you moving his mouth Bluto that's that's terrible and will it touch him and wimpy like shows up like five minutes late he's like hey good news everybody I found a hamburger and they're like and he realizes now he realizes what's happening and he's like oh I wasn't here I wasn't I can't go back I can't take this heat I got people waiting for me on the inside um uh what if that wasn't his cause of death what if he just ate some spinach

he was like time to get real wait my arm won't stop growing oh shit and he just like like Akira just like explodes oh his body gets to his body gets too diesel and then soon he just like starts rapidly expanding until he completely consumes Neo Tokyo let me paint you a picture he goes in for his yearly check up physical and the doctor's like Popeye I I can't I can't say it enough I know I won't tell you again you have to knock it off with the spinach your body is 92 spinach at this point I don't know how much more of this you could take if you if you change again you might never come back and Popeye's like okay but then one day he sees an injustice and he goes for that spinach and he's like I can't I can't but the city cries out Popeye Popeye and he does it knowing it's the end

and and he goes out of here just like he always dreamed okay that wasn't so much um funny as much as it was like pretty good fan fiction thank you I'm trying to pitch that if anyone's listening if you've got it will be a multi-million-dollar production I'm thinking it'll be like a Pixar level oh so I was I was thinking like a Christopher Nolan Batman flick where uh Bluto is it Bluto yeah yeah would be like pain Pluto is Mickey's dog well this will be the first dark Pixar movie I'm thinking like a Pixar cartoon with like a hard PG-13 so if anyone's looking to invest I've got a Kickstarter going for a million dollars you can get a producer's credit for two million dollars you can come to the animation studio it does start at a million

dollars okay for $13.95 you can go see Kung Fu Panda 3 and just like save your fucking time because no movie you'll never want to see another movie after that hey folks that's going to do it for us uh want to say two things first off thank you again to meundies who are dedicated providing the world's most comfortable underwear go to meundies.com slash my brother for free shipping and 20% off your first order uh also want to say a huge congratulations to our friend Lin Mem well Miranda for his uh and his entire cast and also the roots for their Grammy win and Grammy performance last night so fucking good and Lin so Lin thank you for probably accidentally kicking off like a full-blown Illuminati deep dive into your like your whole

life history by the by the you know the the people who are desperately looking into the Freemasons and like the triangles and all that shit with your secret my brother my brother and me gesture and you I don't want to prying eyes if you know it you know it if you know it you know it if you don't know it join our Facebook group you join our fucking Facebook group we mentioned the website halfway through the episode but I want to mention again go to macroshows.com and you can find all of the projects we work on audio and video um you can find links to all the Twitter accounts the Facebook groups um the contact info if you're looking for like the PO boxes or places to send um adventures on item submissions or my brother my brother and me questions and yahoos

um you can also find our now defunct retired shows um I also want to say I'm launching a new podcast pretty soon because I get bored and generate new podcasts constantly what it's too many it's a lot of podcast Travis it's it's all I've got and I love it very very much but this one's called Intero Bang with Travis and Tybee you can find it on macroshows.com we got a promo up now so you can hear it and subscribe on itunes and all that I'm actually really happy about this because it makes it an even on the website now there are three columns of six that makes me really happy we're also really excited because this is the week that we're moving trends like these over onto maxfun so if you haven't checked out trends like these yet go check that out um go check out

still buffering on maxfun yep they just did oh my god the new episode is still buffering which is about my wife Sydney and her sister Riley who's 15 and them like uh explaining the teen life then and today there is a uh a segment on today's show an extended segment of the new episode about uh instagram and her explaining instagram and snapchat that was like oh I know everything there is to know about those two platforms well you don't trust me I thought I did it is the most captivating listen of 2016 as far as I'm concerned I was losing my mind it's fascinating go check out rosebuddies that Griffin does with Rachel um I have never well I tried to watch an episode of the bachelor I animated about 20 minutes in but I have never been a fan of the bachelor but I

fucking love rosebuddies it's become my new favorite show thank you travi um and then also go check out shmanners that my wife and I do we put out a valentine's day special that was all about like the history and uh customs of valentine's day as well as another normal episode last week all about being a house guest and hosting a house guest so go check that out um and then check out all the other amazing maximum fun shows there's a ton on there thanks John Rodger for the lawn winners for the use of the theme song it's departure off the album put in the days to bed yeah it's a great album you can find it on you can get it on vinyl get it on wax get it where you Amazon um sorry juice nothing did you have something else no just I love you I love I love you

I love everybody um do you guys realize that by the time you record this next episode I will have seen Carly Rae Jepsen in concert and I will literally just be I mean I'm already blissed to light of floating like a piece of light consciousness just just exploring the spiral galaxy um and I'm just gonna stop by the ACL taping of Carly Rae Jepsen and I don't know what the next fucking level of consciousness is about that but I'm really just wake up and you are Carly Rae Jepsen like uh being John Malkovich ooh that'll be fun yeah um it is it's it's pretty great I uh if I could say I've been Carly Rae Jepsen for years if I could say uh one sort of personal more serious thing before we close um and this isn't the sort of thing we normally talk about

in the show and I didn't run this past you guys before but um sometimes we all have like struggles and I know that our listeners have expressed to us how our show has helped them and um I know that like for future generations everybody's gonna have you know things that they're going through um and I don't mean to be oblique but I don't know your struggles um but I want to make sure that when um my daughter you know comes of age and she is and her daughter and her daughter after her comes of age and they have she has struggles or things she's struggling with in life I I want to make sure I want to make sure there's a new Kung Fu Panda movie yeah for her every time um and every generation needs their Kung Fu Panda movies and I feel like if we could all just

go see Kung Fu Panda 3 this weekend we can really guarantee that that continues to be do you want to be the last link in the chain I don't want to be the last like in the Kung Fu Panda channel and hey why wait till the weekend it's what I'm saying it's Tuesday now it's ideal the ideal time to see any movie everyone knows this is 11 30 in the morning yeah I'm like a whole Thursday yeah um guys I um I know we don't usually get serious on the show but I have something I'd like to talk about really quick here at the end um and that is there's a lot of I the reason I love this podcast in the community that we sort of surround ourselves with is that I feel like there's a there's a lot of sort of bad stuff happening in the world today and it's so easy to like in in consume the media

that you consume and just sort of be you know distracted by the the noise of it all right and just sort of turn a blind eye to all the injustices that are that are happening in the world today um and and that's fine like you know I'm I'm glad that we can provide sort of a a safe place for people but I think that we need to sort of confront some of these things head on and I would recommend um starting with joining my boycott of The Village Voice for their fucking slanderous review of Kung Fu Panda 3 written by uh Alan Scherstal get that negativity out Alan yeah Alan like we we get it like you're too cool over Kung Fu 3 we get it you're too cool for Po it's okay to unironically love stuff Alan yeah and so anyway um never buy another issue never

again write him a letter that just says never again Alan you know what you did and then a paw print a panda paw print and then say this one's for this one's for my pandas now um we don't usually get we don't no we don't we don't usually get serious on the show but can I just say real quick um I have killed before okay and the only thing that stops me from killing again is knowing that there's a new kung fu panda movie out and if if society were to for some reason take that away from me I don't know what I would do Travis's soul is the respite of a dark passenger I've got what scientists call a dark passenger see when I was little I died for five seconds and something came back with me yes and the only thing that allows me to control the hunger within is knowing

that there's a new kung fu panda movie every like two to three years and I worry that if that ever stops yeah you're gonna you're gonna let me just say the voice I hear in my head is no language spoken by man no as far as I know ever it's Sumerian but it's it's jack black doing the voice which is weird yeah and it's and just the only phrase I can understand is just two words and it's old gods yeah and and if if kung fu panda were to ever not be there as a barrier against the darkness I worry not only for myself but for everyone in this plane of existence uh if you've just finished watching uh this clip as a youtube video after Travis commits some terrible atrocity you should know that we thought he was kidding well thanks for listening

you want to find a yahoo yes this final yahoo was sent in by level 9000 yaju jude jude devenport thank you druids by yaju answers user abby who asks can anybody find out if billy zane is available to sell pasta at my new store cow pasta my name is just a macaroy I'm Travis I'm Griffin macaroy this has been my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips skadoosh maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported the three of you into a cave of a big red dragon and is standing over a horde of precious golden rubies and he says what do you do adventures I'm a dragon man I cast fire on him it's very good I address the red dragon to say us we're the hosts of the adventure zone a podcast about family playing dungeons and very good synergy

commit to the bit I I rolled a charm new listeners it is very effective against all odds everybody where the macaroy's we host the adventure zones a podcast where we play dungeons dragons together it's a comedy podcast we don't take the rules too seriously because there's a lot of them and we did not take the time to learn them maybe listen to us we come out every other thursday on the maximumfund network you can find us on itunes or on maximumfund.org I think this promo is a critical hit you