My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 293: Dark Ages Teen Life

Episode Date: March 8, 2016

After a rocky, inscrutable start, this episode starts to tackle some heady subjects. Like, for instance, whether or not it's possible to cook and safely consume dorm furniture. Also, how sick it would be to kick it in the 11th century. Suggested talking points: A Bizarre Scattershot Intro, Dog the Break-Up Hunter, Pillow Love, Wine Accident, Stiff Bevins, Edible Bean Bags, Sliding Doors, Jesterwork

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? No prep, just go. This is that ice cold Michelle Fire for that white gold. This one's for them. Why did we practice? Why did we practice, Justin? Griffin, hear parts down. No, I'm just doing the dance. Okay, this is, have you guys heard this? No, do it, do the song. I gotta do the dance.

Okay, let's take it from the top. Okay. Just that, Griffin, you just edit all this out, yeah. Yeah, you'll clean it up. Just go, just go, just go, just go. I'm fucking feeling it. I'm fucking hot. This is the, oh no, let me try it. Yeah, please don't start in my keys. Yeah, I don't think we can do this. This here that ice cold Michelle Fire for that white gold. This one's for them hood girls, them good girls, straight masterpieces, smiling. What? What the fuck? Griffin, you swore you weren't gonna do auto. Summer in the city.

Mash up, like cungly. With your head down over your pieces, brother. All right, let's take it to Bo. It's really, it's a pity I'm locked with him. I call the police and a fireman. All right, hold on. Are you just doing a secret world of Richard Scary or whatever, the busy world where you're just describing different professions someone could have? The secret world of Richard Scary or whatever. Don't believe me, just one night in Bangkok with Luke. Oh, that's fucking good. That's good, right? Don't believe me, just one night in Bangkok. You listening to Rocky Horror? Hi, welcome to my brother, my brother, and me. If Justin's not gonna say it, I guess I

fucking will. It's an advice show for the Montraner. I'm your young baby. And a musical mash-up. And a musical mash-up. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McRoy. This is Stop Podcasting Yourself. Thanks for listening to Stop Podcasting Yourself. I'm Graham. And I'm Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. And I'm Mark Marin. Welcome to WTF. Is that how you pronounce it? I've always been curious how you pronounce it, because there's no vowels. Is it just what if? Hey, as long as there's not going to be any kind of cohesion in this introduction at all, I want to abandon this yahoo. Because I'm just looking at it right now, and I think it's too

mean for us to do. And it's by level 9000, Yadra, Jude, or Davenport. And then the question, which is from Yahoo Answers user, Dan, is, what is Lou Bega's net worth? And I thought that would be like a fun closer. That'd be a fun closer, but then I decided it would be too mean. And so there's that cough button, Justin. Why did you buy a fucking cough button if you're not gonna use it? All right, let me cough again. I can still hear it a little bit. It sounded like he just got blasted through a wall behind a mattress. Anyway, I did look it up on CelebrityNetworth.com, and it says he's worth a million still. So that's pretty good, I think. I would think that to be on CelebrityNetworth, that's

like probably the de facto setting. Yeah, whatever you clicked on him in, it was just like 10 bucks. When they launched that site, that's probably what they put in for everybody. And then they'll just like, because like, I don't know, probably like a million dollars. This is their Y2K, you know, if anyone drops below a million dollars, the computer wasn't designed to handle that. Gang, it goes way lower than a milli. Significantly lower than a milli. Yeah. Who's the famous person with the lowest number? That should be tracked on there, right? Like the poorest 10 to the lowest to highest. I just want to see who we could get on the show for like a scene out. This is an advice here for the Modgenera. I'm your oldest brother,

Justin McRoy. I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McRoy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McRoy. Francis McDormand is worth $10 million. Way to go, Francis. Keep up the great acting. What about French tour? Good question. Griffin, search my name. Yeah, I'll search Travis McRoy. Says you're worth half of a pack of Starburst. That seems low. I've got three quarters of a pack sitting right here. Somebody needs to update this. Well, you also have to factor in the day. Oh, no, I ate three of them. They were right. They're right all along. This is an advice show for the Modgenera. Don't believe me. Just watch. Brothers, I broke up with someone last year that I was with for two years. It's been great

because they were kind of a creepo. For example, when I broke up with them, they told me about a fetish I unknowingly fulfilled for them during our relationship. Cool, cool, cool. How the fuck can you not tell us what it is? Yeah, I'm holding you personally responsible for not telling us what it is. I'm going to say dollhouse play, and I don't even know what the fuck that is. Yeah, Griffin made that thing up that doesn't exist. It's where you pretend to be characters from dollhouse. Oh, good. Yeah, with all the great, with all the great character names, I remember.

The only problem is they have a few things in mind I'd like back and I have some of their things too. It was a long distance relationship, so I can't go to their house to demand my things back. They blocked me on Twitter and Facebook, so I can't contact them there. I also deleted them from my phone because I'm a giant dingus. Should I make a new account on either the sites that's contact them? Or would that be creepy? That's from iffy in Indiana. What is this stuff? How good, how good could this stuff? How good is this stuff? I included this question because it gave me a brilliant business idea.

There should be like kind of like repo men or like movers, a company, like a third party company that you could hire to handle the exchange of goods left over at someone's house after you've broken up. Homie, you're talking about a divorce lawyer? No, no, no. I mean like this is like somebody who just almost like, like who's the person who delivers the summons, delivers court documents and they are always in constant. I think it's the High Magistrate. The High Magistrate? Yes, but just somebody whose job it is to like roll up and be like, hey, Deborah sent me to get like her Angel DVD box set and like her favorite hooded sweatshirt. Please don't make this more difficult than it has to be.

Okay, I don't think it's a bad idea conceptually. Problems with it though include if the person denies that they have it, then what is like, does that have to be arbitrated before or is this person going to have a full lethal force? A full blown dog, the bounty hunter, cavity surge, like you got those DVDs of Angel up you, I know it. I can see them right there, fucking out of your butt. You can't hide any Joss Whedon DVDs from dog, you'll sniff them out no matter where they are inside you. I just think that like if you think about all this, this happens all the time where people are like, I don't care about the breakup, but I miss like my favorite whatever. Yeah. I feel like this could be an even exchange because

they say I have some of their stuff too. So this is like a same time, you know, like you give me that I'll give you this. It's a one in one out exchange with the third party, like kind of handling, so you don't have to see anybody. There's some English on this ball that I'm trying to come to terms with. And it is if the, so the other person's a creeper and if the question asker had ended up with their stuff, I would have been like, that is your, that's just their fee. You know what I mean? Like you get that stuff for putting up with what sounds like just sort of their whole weird garbage demeanor. And then congratulations. You've, you earned that, that, you know, series DVDs of Angel and then that's on them. But for them to, to take the shit and be

a garbage demeanor creeper, then that's doubly bad. And I think it's time to stick the dial on them. I think so too. I, we can, we can definitely agree that you should not see this person in person, right? Ever again. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, and I don't have a problem with the fact that someone has a fetish. I want to make that clear before I make this next sentence, which is the type of person that during a breakup will be like, Hey, by the way, I just want you to know that like during that whole relationship, you were doing this. It's like, Hey, time and place. Like, yeah. Well, yeah, the time, the time is the zero death, the heat death of the universe. And the place is the garbage can where you live. There's another prop. There's another danger,

though. What if you know that right now, because of the space of time and distance, like literal space, that this person is a creep, but what if when you see them in person, uh-oh, here you come again. No, just when I began to get myself together, you hear birds and you're just like back. Justin's not far off. Thank you, Travis. Whenever someone's like, I deleted them off my phone. I deleted all this stuff. That always to me sounds like someone going, I was afraid like I would have one too many beers and start texting them. Or alternatively, the, the, the shit was so toxic that you don't even want to see their fucking name anymore, which is the other alternate like possibility, which makes, which makes my service all the better, Griffin. I think

make a new, I think make a new email account or whatever, a new Twitter or whatever, a new Facebook or whatever. And you just call it like, dog the bounty hunter to give me my fucking stuff back, Mark. Like, I don't think there's any problem with that message. I'm like, Hey, don't block this account. Give me my shit back. I'm going to call the dog. I'm going to stick the dogs on you. This is your only warning. Yeah. Maybe, or maybe you just like cut out the middle man and you go to their house and you nail a single like board to their front door. And when they open up their front door, they see this board and what's on that board. It's a bloody paw print. That's right, motherfucker. Here come the dog. The dogs are sniffing at you. The dog is sniffing.

He's sniffing around the dog. How about a yahoo? Yeah, this one was, uh, can I just say, Zoe Kinski sent in a million this week and they were all fucking stellar and we need to come up with a new name for her. Somebody suggested Zoe Kinski top of that letter. That's not, it's bad. What, what about this? What about this? Zoe Kinski top of the world. Riding high. Riding high, Zoe Kinski. Riding high is very good. Let's do it. Zoe Kinski, riding high. Thank you, Zoe. It's by Yahoo Answers, user, a stranger. Oh, no. Who asks? At least it's, uh, not the. Yeah. My girlfriend lives in Tokyo. Is a body, no, she doesn't exist. She doesn't. Is a body pillow with my picture on it as a Christmas gift, weird or cute. Okay, so we've been

dating it, uh, a year now. She was a foreign exchange student to America. Uh, no, she doesn't exist. Uh, and she left back to Japan. She didn't need to book a ticket because non-existent people don't need to, uh, for at least nine months, a couple months ago. Uh, I was thinking I would get her a body pillow and a custom print pillowcase. Yeah. The pillowcase would be, the pillowcase would be a, what, sorry, go ahead, do your thing. I just, no, I want, it's important that I say this now. All right. As much as I always love further details in Yahoo questions, if this person does not think that after the initial question, we had a perfect fucking crystal clear technicolor image of every moment of their entire, I feel like I've watched

Ken Burns is this dude, like over the past eight hours, like I know it all. It's like a sci-fi episode of a show where like you see the entire like lifetime play out and then the person wakes up and it's all been like an implanted memory and they're still like 23. That's how I feel about this part. I've lived this person's life through the headline of this question. It is like, it is like the, it is the, uh, foresale baby she's never worn. I was going to say that literal exact thing, weird. Of, of Yahoo answers, like I get all of it. Okay. Anyway. The pillowcase would be a picture of me with a white background on one side, completely non-sexual by the way, no nude or suggestive images. Um, and probably a pic of mammoth mountain with us in the distant background

on the other side, since it might be tacky to have a life-size pic of me on display at all times. Additional details. She is also a pillow. Um, that's weird, right? The, the idea of like, and, and now, uh, a scenic tableau of that trip we took once. Um, straddle up with that. Anyway, uh, and the last thing, because I couldn't decide between a pillow and one of those digital photo frames. Yeah. Uh, the last thing I'll do is put in a cheapo voice recorder. You really, you really don't want to splurge on this. Uh, with my voice recorded saying good night or I love you, something along those lines. It's supposed to be a little thing to help her feel less sad when she goes to bed. Uh, since I know we both miss being under one roof. Anyway, I just want to get some people's

opinion on this gift. Let's not, let's, um, if there's, uh, let's hate the sin, not the center in this, you know, particular question. I think like, I've got it, Griffin. I've got the best, like the first thing that clicked into my head was, and this is, this is, I wouldn't be 100% explicitly clear. This is sin. I haven't figured out which one yet, but it's definitely in idolatry. Probably. Yeah. But the problem here is that this is the type of president that if this is the type of president, this is the type of president that if you are uncertain enough to turn to yahoo, the answer is no. Especially when you include a cheapo voice recorder. I gotta, I gotta ask something that I've had to ask you, like a, a disappointing number of times lately in it. Is,

is that funny? Is that going to be a funny thing to go down? The answer, if the answer is no, then we can't talk about how we can tweak this and twerk it and take it to the fucking body shop. And get it going. So right. We can't take it to West Coast Customs. Well, let's reshape it. If pillow isn't the answer, what other thing could you put your face on that now becomes like a slam dunk 100% most definite switch? I may hit you with this. What do you think about this? A dinner plate? Then they finish up their meal and it's just your face like, how is the lasagna? Yeah. Good job. Good job. So you might clean plate girl. Good job. Good job. Spaghetti. Good job. Spaghetti. It's our baby,

babe. It's our favorite meal. Good job. Spaghetti. We would eat it together under the same roof together and I would watch it just by which I mean I would just sort of hold it up and drop it right on the floor because you're a specter of my imagination. You can't put it on her car because then everybody's gonna think she works for a Dylan delivery service. That's no good. That's my favorite Studio Ghibli movie. It was next to my neighbor Dylan and Dylan, Dylan DeWay. Did you hear about Deborah? Yeah, she got Dylan DeWay. She got Dylan DeWay. Yeah, her fucking parents ate Dylan's snacks, turned into pigs, which made her work in a bath shop. It sucked. Dylan DeWay. Beautiful, beautiful film though. It was beautiful. Beautifully shot.

And also Dylan and Madagascar. Was that one of his joints? Yeah, they did. He did Madagascar in Kung Fu Panda 3. Is it, maybe it's something where you cut out- Dylan's pickable me? Okay, sorry. Maybe you just get one of those big head cutout things. You put it over her bed on the ceiling. Yes. So as she goes to sleep, you're just looking over her, protecting her in the night times. And she'll just think about how it looks like some sort of demon has lifted you up to the skies. Oh yeah, the look on your face will need to be one of horror. Yeah, if you could make it so that just like a single drop of blood comes out of that weird ceiling body that you put up there every 20 minutes or so. I would say every four hours, because that's enough where you're

going to forget. That's going to be really upsetting. There's that cough button. Can I say if you draw attention to it? But Justin, before you hit the cough button, you're going, I should hold it in for all that. It's a fucking dubstep drop. I'm proud of you. I think the audience is happy. Well, I edit those fuckers out, so I'm the happiest about the situation that is possible. But I think it's an important new cast member on the show. It's Griffin, Justin, Travis, and Kofi. Or not, Kofi's a thing. Yeah, Kofi's been a part of this show for all the long time. Wheezebo. He gets all the wheezing out. What if, can I suggest this? What if you put your face on Coffee Mug? What if you put it inside the Coffee Mug at the bottom of the drink? So you finish it,

and there's just like a speech bubble of like, you're ready to go. I got a better idea. How's your day? Here's to pick me up. What if you made it so that you get like a ceramic recreation of the top of your head and you sort of put it parallel with the drink hole on top of the cup so that it looks like the cup opening and hole of the coffee cup is a gaping, giant grotesque mouth of yours. And then it's like you're barfing that good brown energy liquid just right into her mouth like a baby bird would do. I've said all that and it was a bad idea. Yeah, that's all right though. There's no bad ideas in brainstorming, Griffin. You're right. But that was. Sometimes you don't know what's gonna be good or bad until you get

out there. You gotta throw the Coffee Mug at the wall and see what sticks. Did I say that I maybe described it wrong? Could you visualize it good like I was saying? It was like a person's mouth was the opening. Yeah, like a clown out of like a mini-golf. No, no, that was clear. But I want you to envision every time you take a drink of that cup, you're like confronting, getting very close face to face with your boyfriend almost like he's challenging you with every sip as you lift his face to greet your own. That was actually that was the fetish from the first question. Shit.

Baby birding. Can I read a question? Uh, yeah. Okay, because I really like this one. Welcome to the big show. I hope I don't blow it. I recently went to a liquor store and bought a magnum of wine to last me the week. On the walk home, I stopped in the grocery store and proceeded to drop the full magnum of wine, which proceeded to shatter and spill out on the floor. I quickly got someone who works at the store to let them know and then walked out feeling embarrassed. As I walked home though,

I started to feel guilty that I seemingly walked into a store, smashed the bottle and then walked out. Brothers, should I have waited while they cleaned up or offered to help in some way? And that's from no more wine in New York. Um, oh man, what a fun situation. The worst. Why did you, it's weird, the weird thing to, I guess New York, like they don't have grocery stores in New York. So you have to go to like Jim's ham depot and get your ham. And then you have to go to the, to the root vegetable depot and a lot of depots. Um, so you do have to like

stop in like 16 different discreet places just to like get the components of a single meal. Um, uh, because to me, it's, it's weird to think like, oh, I bought a big bottle of wine. Now it's time to go take this and me and my, my grapey buddy to a second location. Um, that part is weird. That part's weird to me. Should you feel bad? No, that's like their, that's their job. But you should feel bad. I, I, I hate this situation for you so much because you bought what was supposed to last you a week and you lost it in moments. And like that's so painful to me. I like, I, you're sad, wait, you're sad because the wine died. The wine died Griffin. That was going to be their wine compatriot that was like,

hey, you and me for the week, this is like my ration of wine and you lost it. And like, you're not going to get another, you walked home in shame and you're going to punish yourself for the week because you made like the stock boy clean up your Magnum mess. And I, is there a similar situation? Is there anything worse than breaking a glass while you're at a bar or a restaurant and being like, I made a, I made a, uh-oh. Yeah. There is something worse, bringing a glass from another restaurant, smashing it on the floor because that's what this person. Yeah, but that's not, that's not there. It's like, if I, I would rather somebody came in my house and like shattered some dishes that they brought from home and do it to my own

shit. I was, I, I, I went on a bunk, a bunk drive by which I mean a drunk bike. They should call it that because once you reach a certain point, that's all you called it. Um, I want a drunk, what's it called? Like you get on the petty, the pedal wagon, pedal wagon. Yeah. And I got, went on a bar crawl and we stopped at one place that had, uh, a little arcade in the back. And so me and a buddy were, I put in some quarters to play some super street fighter two turbo championship edition. I was like, fuck yeah, here we go. Almost as soon as I put the quarters in and began my campaign as a Honda, um, I put my drink down on the NBA jam machine, not realizing that the console I put that on was sitting, it was that about maybe like a 60 degree angle. It's not

sloped. And so my glass broke and I was torn because there was broken glass on the floor, it was a hazard, but I just begun my game of street fighter two turbo edition. What did you do? I don't even suspense. I stood there, somebody came clean it up. While you continued playing, like you just like lifted your feet up without looking at them so they could sleep around your toes. It was 50 cents. It was two quarters. Listen, I get it. A question after the next time this happens and you drop it and it should have happened again. And it shatters on the ground. I want you to loudly announce the Piggly Wiggly sends their regards and then storm out. I hear if this, this is not necessarily a funny thing to say,

but it is the truth. You couldn't have helped cleaned up because they, I'm sure, have like insurance policies that do not protect them if like customers get hurt in their store. If you were cleaning up your own shit in the store and then you got cut, then that could be a lawsuit for them. So it wouldn't let you help anyway. And it would have been way worse if you had just stood there watching them clean up. That was the right thing. That was literally the worst thing you could, like that would be worse than kicking their teeth in. Mop up my bottle. Mop up my, uh-oh. Screw up my whoopsie. Because if you, if you take that a step further, you're concerned of you're someone who just seemed to walk in, smash a thing and leave.

It's way worse to be a person who walked in, smashed a thing so they could watch others clean it up. Like that's a way worse worse than to be. Uh, okay. Um, I have a fucking great solution. And this is a new thing that everybody can do, uh, anytime you want. Okay. You ready? I'm going to change this person's life and everybody's life. Next time you do something that's like so embarrassing that you think you're never like, you make a huge mess in a place or you like, you, you're like, like having this person, you smash a bottle or whatever, just run for the door and right as you hit the door as you're about to leave, shout, jackass four coming to theaters next year, run out the door. So anytime you bust your ass, bust your ass, you fall, you knock something over,

whatever, point out a bush and say, did you get that? Did you get it? Or like, get your, uh, camera phone out and act like you're like talking into it. Like you're getting some like gorilla footage and then just out jackass four coming to theaters next year. Yeah. You crash your car into another car. You'd be like, ah, got you punked season three. I'm Johnny Knoxville. And then you run away. What's up? Well, boys, fuck you and your Jeep later. Bam season four. Bam's here, the whole team. It's Bam town. And then you run away. Just, I thought you were going to go a different way. I thought we were on another like psychic link thing where my idea was for situations like this where there is no good solution. What if everybody just carried a bag of treats around

with them? And that's like their last resort. Whoopsie bag. And it's like, if you drop a bottle of wine and somebody else has to clean it up and there's no good, there's no good solution for this problem. So maybe you just like reach in and you'd be like, fuck, all right. Well, listen, obviously I goofed up and you're having to deal with it. So what do you like? Like a fun size Snickers? I've got like little puzzles in here. I've got super high bouncy balls. I've got some home. I got one of those, you know, those little plastic homies that you could get from the little gosh upon machines. I got a couple of those if that's what you're into. And I have one slimy hand left. So which is it going to be? Which is going to be? I would take the slimy hand if I were

you, because that's like, you can get a lot of fun out of it. There's always got to dig to the bottom to find the foam plane. And it's never going to be good. Like, yeah, you love the idea of it, because it's like, oh, it's like a World War II fighter plane, but it's going to last you like 30 seconds in the real world. A power flight. It basically turns your life into one of those hair redemption machines at Fantastic Sam's. Yeah. Boy, that's going to be an extremely local joke. That is Fantastic Sam's all over the fucking place. But did they do the hair machine there? They don't even do it. They don't even do it at the Fantastic Sam's in Huntington. They realized they were losing a ton of money on toys and that the hair was not covering the cost.

I still wish I could figure out how the fuck they did this, though. Just to explain it. And no, don't, don't explain it, because if you don't know what I was talking about, it's going to sound fucking wild. There was a little, okay, it was a box. You can't pretend like you know how this shit works to eat there. There was a box where the box of the TV was. Right. Yeah. And underneath that box, there was a flap, right? Some sort of, like almost like a cat door into this machine. And then you open the machine and you throw your hair into it. You like scoop up some of your hair off the floor and you throw it into the machine. And then something happens. I don't, a wizard turns your hair into toys. And then all of a sudden,

there's a toy there and no more hair. So don't piss that wizard off when he's just like walking down the street, like you bump shoulders and you're like, watch it, loser. And he's like, oh yeah, your fucking hair is starbursts now, asshole. Oh God. Damn it. Not again. Hey, bro, your hair is homies. Deal with it, idiot. Maybe think about that next time before you fuck with a hair lock. I don't know if that was, we'll probably get some good emails and tweets about that, because like to let us know that was just a, because they don't even do it there anymore. Yeah. Also, Fantastic Sam's, this is something the woman at Fantastic Sam's told me that they, that I was not aware of, that all of the men and women that worked at Fantastic Sam's had to use,

they couldn't use their own names. So you're telling me that Sonny at Fantastic Sam's is not named, wait a minute. Sonny works at Mastercuts and they don't do, and also too, they don't do this anymore, but they used to not let people use their names. Why? Government. Because they wanted it to be like a chain, like a uniformity of experience. So like they wanted you to not, I mean, that's like doctor fucking who? It's like a mantle pass from person to person. Exactly. I'm Batman. Like what? What are you taught? How could that, what, what business, why would they do that? Nobody else does that. It's like, you can't go to Taco Bell and be like, yo, David, where's David at? Which one is David? Because there's one in every Taco Bell. Where's my Taco Bell Dave? Is there a Dave

here? I also think though that it's like, it's the, like they didn't want you to go open up your own. Like if the, if you left Fantastic Sam's, you could not take your customers with you because they could never find you again. You had to leave your name. So like if you leaned in and you're like, my real name is Tom, like all the other people would turn around sirens or drop from the ceiling, he'd be dragged away. Yes, right. And a different David would come out to finish cutting your hair. Like I've always been David. I don't know what you're talking about. The sphere from the island would just like float over and just consume them. Nope. Thought crime. Like, well, it's sort of like on, on a flavor of love, when the women would get evicted from the flavor of

love house, they would lose their nicknames and they would get their real names back. Like they had to earn them. Like as soon as they were eliminated by Flav, they would no longer be like stink weave or whatever their fake name was. It could be like Jillian again. Oh man, you've just pitched a wonderful dating reality show where it's all about that flavor of love Travis. No, no, no. Imagine this where it's like the 20 women and they're all trying to compete to get kicked off so they could be free and earn their names back and like return to their lives. That is actually not too far. It's actually pretty close later seasons, especially. Let's go to the money's end. So we don't have to kickstart this brave new vision for reality television.

You need to know how to cook. It's really important and it's really fun. And I used to think that I had some vague idea and that was before Blue Apron. I've been using Blue Apron for almost, I would guess like a year and a half, maybe two years almost. And it has taught me so much. I know it sounds like I'm getting choked up like it's the most moving thing, but it's just my throat hurts. But for less than $10 a meal, Blue Apron delivers all the fresh ingredients you need to create home cooked meals. You just follow the easy step-by-step instructions. So even if you don't know how to cook, like it's so easy. With pictures and everything, what Justin said, no kidding. I love cooking Blue Apron. The meals are great. And no matter what

your dietary preferences, they make it really easy to cook stuff. Like what's in it this week? Let me check. Let me check. I got it right here. I got it right here. What are we cooking? Salmon with roasted Brussels sprouts and potato hash. Fuck yes. Now this says triple pork. It's probably like mozzamon or something, but it looks like maize man. So I'm going to go with triple pork maize man with garlic chives. I think that's actually just Guy Fieri's like medicine name. I'm triple pork maize man. Last week they had curry chicken over coconut grits. It was so awesome. If I do. But like Justin said, the cooking that stuff is great and the meals are great. They're really good for you. And they also have vegetarian and vegan options.

But what Justin said is true. Even when I cook stuff not using the ingredients they send, like I am better at cooking. Like I understand the fundamentals of cooking way, way, way, way better because they teach you how to do it. It's awesome. It's so great. Yeah. So right now you can get your first two meals for free at blueapron.com slash my brother. That's blueapron.com slash my brother. Blue apron, a better way to cook. I want to talk for a second about Squarespace. They're sponsoring the show this week. And they are also the site at which I built macroishows.com. And I cannot stress enough that going into it, I knew basically nothing about website building. I don't know anything about coding. I don't know

anything about the internet. I don't know how computers work. I don't know what eyeballs do. Travis thought that your monitor was like digital paper. And every time you went to a website, it printed it out somehow onto the monitor. Just a bit by bit, piece by piece. But Squarespace is so user-friendly and intuitive that after about 45 seconds, I was like, oh, I get this. And I was able to create a website that people have just keep telling me looks very professional and is really easy to navigate. And it was so simple to do. It took me about an hour to make a website that I'm super proud of and does everything I needed to do. And I'm able to continually update as we add new stuff. And I think of new things to put on it. And it's

so easy, you guys. I highly recommend it. You can start a free trial of the day. Just go to Squarespace.com slash my brother. And kick off your experimentation on the worldwide web because you should Squarespace. Rosalyn Ricketts, the moment has come for us to pass a long message from Justin Sunset. You didn't want to read their nickname? You didn't want to give her a damn nickname? Rosalyn, quote, monster Ricketts. Why wouldn't you read that? That's so good. It sounds like something that you get if you don't eat vitamin D for like a super duper long time. Yeah. It's like after you get regular Ricketts, you get monster Ricketts. Rosalyn Monster Ricketts, Justin Sunset has this to say, I hope you get this in time to say happy 29th

birthday, the most amazing set of getaway sticks I've ever seen. And I really hope you're updated on your podcast backlog. Otherwise, I'm at a heap of shit for not getting you a gift. Thanks for putting that pressure on us, Justin. Well, don't worry because we didn't even come close to the date. This one's on us. Hey, Rosalyn, I can't stress enough how great Justin thinks you are. And this is our fault. This heat's on us. Yeah, this is on us, but I think we could actually put this on nobody because it says if she's behind her back, her catalog, she may not get to this until like fucking 2018. And then it doesn't matter. Right. With a timeliness aspect, it's been lost entirely. And you know what? The thing is,

it's like well wishes and happy birthday. It's good for the whole year. Great point, Travis. Except not. It's extremely timely. Except not. We blew it. We fucking blew it. Got another message here, and this one's for Julia Boolia, and it's from Dad. Dads. My, my, is this Clint? No, this is just the universal, like, platonic idea of Dad. Oh, God. Okay. Dad says to Julia Boolia, don't get me wrong. I love my new job with Alcatraz cell house tours, but I'm so bummed that I had to cancel my trip to the LA podcast fest. I'm glad you were able to use your ticket and see the brother's macaroy. Thanks for texting the photo. Why was Justin laughing so hard? Love, Dad. We'll never know. Well, probably because Justin had

him some crevasse. He drank it down smooth. There was a little bit of mixology happening there, but not as much as you maybe would have liked. And yeah. Depending on when you caught me at the LA podcast festival, like, I don't think I did a lot, did I? Did I drink a lot? Um, would you say? No, you were just stiff bevin'. Okay. Yeah. I don't think you drink a lot, but if I were to give you, like, a nickname for the day, it would be stiff bevins. Stiff bevins. I do want to say Julia taking pictures during the show was illegal, so someone should be along shortly to confiscate that and maybe take you in for some time. Don't worry about it. Thank you for your support. My name's stiff bevins. If you need a phone confiscated,

there's only one name to turn to. Look it up in the yellow pages. Or you can find me at Bob Evans. Stiff bevins, Bob Evans. It's a franchise, uh, spin-off. Not that those exist. You like steak? Don't have it. Got mashed potatoes. I'll shape them into anything. I'll make them into the shape of Robert Evans. Come to, come have the Robert Evans mashed potatoes and stiff bevins as Bob Evans. Oh, Justin's broken. Let's be honest. We live in a world with too much media. You need a podcast on the front lines figuring out what's great. We're here for you. We're Pop Rocket. I am Guy Branham. I'm a comedian. I'm Wintern Mitchell. I call myself a digital strategist. I'm Oliver Wang, academic and disc junkie.

Margaret Woppler. J. Sweet as John Elise. And we watch, listen to and read everything so that you don't have to. And then we tell you about all the things that you'll love to love. Find us in iTunes or wherever you download podcasts. Pop Rocket. Every Wednesday from MaximumFun.org. I got another Yahoo here from Zoe Kinski. Yahoo. It's by Yahoo Answers. What? Yahoo's going out of business, isn't it? Are you worried this is going to be a non-renewable

resource? Do we need to do a GoFundMe to buy Yahoo Answers? I don't think, I think we could probably save Yahoo if we just give them that sound clip of you saying Yahoo at the beginning of the answer and then they can use it like the new, you know, I used to do Yahoo. Everyone hated that. But if we do it, can you just break it off again for me? Yahoo. That's good. No, it wasn't as good the second time. It's from Yahoo Answers, user. Something's gone wrong. We will call them. StiffBevins asks,

Can you cook and eat the beans from a beanbag chair? From a beanbag chair? Let me hit you guys with this idea. I pause it. When you cook a meat, you're not supposed to eat that meat raw. Don't do that. You'll get very sick. There's toxins in there. If you cook it enough, though, you can make anything. You can cook the toxins right out of anything, because that's what cooking does. They usually eat their shoes in the Civil War. Revolutionary War? Probably both. Probably. I think most wars, probably somebody's gotten down on some shoe eating.

Times are tight in the trenches. Can you cook and eat the beans from a beanbag chair? I think if you blast them for long enough, you know, the problem is, given they're so worried about if they could, they didn't stop to think about if they should. I mean, they shouldn't. No, traffic. Because then what? No, but then when you sit on, you've cost yourself a chair. Well, I don't think you need to take all of the- Yeah, how many servings are in a beanbag chair? Yeah, that's how they measure beanbag chairs is by servings. I think that would be a big,

robust meal if you tried to party down on a whole bag chair. A sumo? A sumo could feed a family for like a year. It's, I mean, it's all polystyrene. I don't think you should eat that. Is that like a saying? Like, it's all polystyrene to me? Or what are you saying? No, I mean, it's like, they're filled with polystyrene. Like, you probably shouldn't eat that. Are you a scientist? No, I'm not like a scientist. Are you a nutritionist? No. Are you a beanbagologist? Yeah, really.

Okay. Are you a fucking professional chef? I want to, you guys will hear a hilarious joke, kind of observational humor. Yeah. I was looking into, recently I had reason to look into what beanbag filling is made out of. And I found a listing for beanbag filling that you could use to refill a beanbag chair. But the thing about this beanbag filling is, it comes in a bag. So it's kind of like, let's get out the middle, man. That's a really good little witty, kind of like a witty, just kind of like a little fucking slice of life.

Who's doing this? Who's doing fucking beanbag rehab? This episode of this old bag. Next on Antiques Roadshow, this beanbag is from the 18th century. This is my pop-pops bag. A lot of stink memories in here. This would have been worth upwards of $15,000 if you hadn't refilled it. I don't think you guys like got it, so I'm going to try again. Could you do it in more of a stand-up voice, please? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it more presentationally. I think your energy was too low-key.

Okay. Okay, what do you guys intro me in? Yeah, yeah, I got it, I got it. What a thing, but what? Oh, sorry, you do it Travis, you volunteer. Okay, coming up next on our stage, Justin McElroy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it up. Give it up for our man. Give it up. Tell some fucking jokes. This guy. Hey, get this guy another drink. Okay, listen.

Wow, god, you know? Oh, that's everybody. Come on, do it. Holidays are coming up. We're warmed up, just go for it. Holidays are coming up soon, and man, how you guys doing out there? We're doing good. Who invited young Philip Seymour Hoffman to this, right guys? Hey, be nice, he's doing his best. He's trying as hard as up there, right? Yeah, it's a problem.

We believe in you. Don't listen to that guy. Look at this guy over here in the front row, he's like... Can't wait for the jokes to start, right? Yeah, good observation. I'm just trying to have a nice night out with my wife. Yeah, what's your name, sir? Gregory. Hey Gregory, you ever get into beanbags?

No, I'm a 41 year old orthodontist, so I just have regular chairs. Who's this hot piece of ass you got with you? My name's Charlene. Hey, Charlene, what's up? She's my stepmom. Can we go? Can we get up and leave? Seymour, I'm so choice, dude. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm flattered. What were you saying about beanbags? I love beanbags.

Yeah, Charlene, I'd like to take you to a beanbag. Dude, you're so... Oh, that's so nice of you. Gregory, you're stepmom's fucking juicy, dude. I love it. Thank you. Thank you so much. You know, it's nice. It's not... I don't want to be told that all the time, but by a nice young man like this, I appreciate it. Yeah, you fucking got me with that, man, man. You really got me with that.

Let's get another G&T over here for Charlene. Charlene, what's up? Thank you. What's up? You into beanbags? I am. Thank you for asking. Cool, cool, cool. Listen, I was shopping for a beanbag. I do a podcast with my brothers, and we have a question about... Beanbag, the stuff in beanbag, so I was looking up beanbag refills.

We've all been there. Yeah, I figure out what's in them. And I'm sorry you're just fucking so hot. I'm like, thank you. I am feeling this. We are vibing. This is real. Yeah, so like, they had a beanbag filling refill on there, and... But the thing is, it came in a bag, and I'm like, can we just cut out the middleman?

Hey, this guy's choking over here. No, that's just my laugh. Oh, I've pissed myself. Hey, this guy pissed himself over here, but that's hilarious. That's my fetish. Thank you. Look at this guy. He looks like Vanilla Ice's uncle. Yes. Yeah, embarrass me. This is a fetish meeting for the public embarrassment. I think I'm just gonna go. I don't care for beanbag-based humor.

You're my ride, so... Here's my hotel key. I'm staying at Dave's house. Well, that's weird. It's Dave's house. Is that the name of the hotel? Did he install Hotel Locke's on his personal residence, sir? Nah, he's just cool. Wait, which Dave? I don't know where Dave... You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm just gonna go home.

I got a long day at the office tomorrow. I'm the president. Oh, congratulations. Thank you so much. Thank you. I'm the fourth woman president. Okay, well, I'm gonna... Cometary. Yeah. Cometary.

Guys, guys, great skit. Thanks. And scene. This has been our summer camp skit. Bunk 4, you're the best. Thank you for everything. Here's another question. I live in a two-unit apartment building. My neighbor recently knocked on my door because he had been locked out of his apartment. I thought he wanted a place to hang,

but he said my set of keys work on his door, but not to worry because his keys don't work on my door. Does that mean he's been trying to get into my apartment? Does this give me the right to casually check on his place? I was able to let him into his place as his apartment key is the same building as the building, same as the building's front door. What? Hold on. Okay.

So you're in an apartment building. You're not in the room because you're locked in. I remember the set of keys work on his door, not to worry because his keys don't work on my door. Does that mean he's been trying to get into my apartment? Yes. Yes. You can just check on his place.

I was able to let him into his place as his... No, no, you can't go into somebody's house. You can't go into someone's home. That's not even the kernel that I like. This gentleman knowingly like lives in an apartment that apparently anyone in this building can go into. What's a two-unit? And he's just accepted that as fact.

No, it's a prisoner's dilemma thing going on here. There's only two of them in the building. There is a key that works on the front door of the building, and that key is the same lock configuration as this dude's apartment. But he says that his key doesn't work on your door. I would like to see that in action. No, that can happen. That can happen.

I would like to see him. No, okay. No, I hear what you're saying, Justin. You want to watch him try his keys. I want to try your key in my door, dude, because I'm just going to take your word for it of a dirty boy that loves people to just catch them in the act 24-7, because that's the only reason I can think that he hasn't made a huge difference. Because he knows about this.

This has clearly happened before that he's like, hey, this is a fact that I know and haven't complained to the owners about. But you could go into my apartment anytime, if you want, whenever you want. If you wanted to. Sometime around 5.30 on Wednesday. Maybe I'll get a light installed in your place, and I'll have a switch for that light in my place, and I'll flip it. And that just means come on by if you want to see some dirty stuff.

Hey, if you want to see some grown folks activities, maybe wait for that light to come on, and then you'll know that things are off and popping. Do you like grown folks stuff? Hey, do you like grown folks activities? Do you like scoping them on the free and on the sly? Well, have I got a deal for you? Have I got a life for you? Look at it.

Come. Please. I'm Jeremy. You get it. Please. I. Okay. This is very.

Okay. Here's the weirdest part about this. Okay. This guy knows in his heart that you could like completely devastate his whole scene whenever you wanted to, because you have the key to his place, right? What is this? What? Okay.

Hold on. What is this fucking world that you are living in, where life is just like a fucking online survival combat video game, where you just like, when somebody logs off, you go grief their shit. Griffin, do you not pay any fucking attention to the news where people just like kill each other offhand all the time? Like this is your downstairs neighbor plays music too loud. You could walk in and smother him with a pillow.

And it's like legal now. Like that's the worst part. It's not even breaking and entering. It's just entering at this point. Yeah. And there's no logins. Just as I suggest you murder, he's suggesting you're outside. You're mowing the lawn.

You see them walk out with a suitcase. So like, yeah, I'm going to visit my Florida and parents and you're like, ah, cool. Well, have a good trip. No, but like if you don't assume that that's a thing, then why don't we have locks in the door in the first place? Like if you want to work on the honor system, that's fine. Like I'm going to go ahead and keep the lock on the door.

That seems the base level. It doesn't matter. Why does, OK. Why is this guy so cavalier about revealing this information to you? Right? Doesn't that strike you as odd? Like why do you want to let somebody like without any knowledge of you really to let you know that you could just walk into their place whenever you wanted to?

How did very suspicious to me. How did downstairs Pete figure this out in the first place? Like the first time he locked himself out of his apartment, his solution was, I know, I'll try the other guy's keys. Oh, it works. Like that's never a thing I would think of doing. Yeah. Seeing if the other person in the building can unlock my door.

At this point. Though he doesn't just, he knows it. How does he know? Well, fucking he's got peer reviewed, hands on, proof. Try to scope your place out. And I think if the if the if we're going to tear down the walls this much, you may as well like install a window in the dividing wall of your duplex that you could just like check in on Jerry every morning.

It's not good and it's not right. Are you guys moving? You guys are basically moving in together. Why don't we get rid of the pretense, right? Why don't we take that wall out? Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall. I want to let's get the property bros in here. Tear down, take that wall out, put a nice I beam up there.

Oh, that's I love that. Maybe some like exposed timbers. Rustic. Oh, I love that. Oh, you know what you do? You knock down that wall. You put in a two sided fireplace. Oh, I love that.

Yeah, right. That's great. It's going to increase the value of your home. Open the whole thing up a lot more to increase the sight lines when you're jerking it. Yeah. It really turns the whole like jerking it thing around. Yeah. Maybe just put in a special jerking room.

Yeah, why not? Why not if we're going crazy? Why not? That's that that bumps up that Zillow. Well, but then you run into it's like, hey, we ran into a problem. There ended up being a pipe in this wall. We had to cut that.

We had to turn the jerking room into a jerking closet. Don't worry, we put a porthole in the door. It's a three bed, two bath, half bait. Hey, that's not what we were looking for, but all right. We'll make do. I want to read a Yahoo, can I? Please. How about this one from Morgan Davy?

Thank you, Morgan. It's by Yahoo Answers user. Lag seeing, who says, what did teens do in medieval times or back in ancient times? Were they having fun like nowadays or had more responsibilities? Were they having fun at just some hip, cool dudes? Snapchat me on the children's crusade, bro. Come on.

I took my dad's horse going hog while tonight. Yeah, my sister fell into the thresher hashtag realness. Oh, man, hurt my arm real bad while casting some silver. Hashtag type that with my silver arm. My woman crushed Wednesday's Queen Victoria. What's up, boo? WCW. Well, here's the thing.

Back in medieval times, life expectancy was like 25. So the translation of this was that what is now teens for us was like seven year olds back then. It all scaled back. Yeah, true. Seven year old teens. How were they getting wild? What were they?

I guess they called them sevens or whatever. Yeah, the sevens. Yeah. He's just gone through those awkward halfway through to three quarters of the way through his eighth year of life. It's just that awkward transitional period. But the thing is, how'd you rebel? Drinking beer, everyone did that.

Smoky tobacco, everybody did that. Everyone was wheezing. Everyone was getting wacky on backie. That's a good point, Travis. Like it was not a thing back then. Kids could get fucked up. And they would. What, you rebelled by not going to school,

along with everyone else? Along with everyone else. I can't read. I can't read either. Cool. Let's get fucked up. I'm the king. I can't read.

OK. OK, cool. Cool. I'm a peasant. I can't read. Great. Yeah. But what we can do is party.

Probably the only way you could rebel is becoming a jester. Thank you. You hate to see that. What could bring more shame to your family? First off, you learn to juggle, heartbreaking to any parents. Yeah. Then you're locked in as a professional,

silly person at the castle. And the king only needs you when he's in a bad mood. That's a fucking bummer. How's your work environment? Pretty high stakes. Yeah. I only have one co-worker, and it's really more of an audience member.

And I only see him when he's like completely banished. And if I do a bad job, I die. Yeah, but think about it this way, though. When that jester's off the clock, and he goes and he's chilling with his other sevens, and that party gets lit. Are you kidding me? That's true.

The rain now party like a jester party. Oh, fuck yeah. It's the only entertaining person. He's here. Fuck yes. We're drunk. We're ready. We're fucking ready to roll, dude.

I know I don't want you to have to work when you're off the clock, but if you could turn this shit up because you're literally the only funny person. Juggle, juggle, juggle. Well, I don't know. If everybody, I wasn't gonna, but if everybody wants you to.

This is crazy. Both me and Mike, both our sisters fell in the thresher today, and we could use a laugh. Can you turn this shit up, please? All right. Jingle, jangle, jangle, jangle, jangle. Oh, fuck yeah.

I've never seen anything like this before. Why jangle, jangle, jangle, jangle, jangle, juggle, juggle, juggle. Juggle, jangle, jangle, juggle, juggle, juggle, juggle, juggle. Juggle, jangle, juggle, juggle, juggle, juggle, juggle. Ha! Man, Melissa would love this. This fucking crazy motherfucker is talking to a face on a stick.

Love this shit. I'm losing my dough. I'm fucking losing my mind. I'm losing it with this guy Is that rouge on your cheeks fuck that? I'm gonna die literally months before my time Invited old man Steven here. I miss Rebecca so much And then they would just shit on the floor right there because nobody gave a fuck well That was a joke that was the first time anyone had ever shot right there on the floor So me shit right there on the floor and be like that's pretty funny, too Can you imagine how fucking easy it would be to tell a joke back then like nobody fucking hurt jokes

You could just be like what's the deal with pigs? They smell Notice how like the beanbag filling comes in a bag cut out the middle man You can just shit on the floor and be like jackass one I invented it coming in 2,000 years Catch the fever man. I wish man. I was just I was born in the wrong time I know people only live until like 30 and like everyone was getting ate up by witches in the forest But man that would have been good times It's so fucking easy to be an entertainer. Oh, I know this podcast we got to churn out hours of content every week Back then like one joke and it would spread throughout the land

You could just walk to a different town and be like hey in my last town I was the fucking funniest fool there and everyone loved me and everybody be like I believe it We don't have the internet. I can't check TMZ to see how much everyone hated you in your last town Yeah, I don't know if you stole these jokes off Instagram or not Yeah, cuz I can't check it. We don't have electricity But if or Instagram, we could check Instagram for sure and bust your ass You gotta be careful though cuz if you get up there, you're like hey guys beanbag to refill comes in a bag Anyway, it's cut out the middle man. They might be like which

No way he's tickled my innards with his devilry. It's a perfectly. No joke No human man could be this funny But I had I have had this thought many times in my daily slice of life day Me goody macaroy consorts with the devil. He's done his consorting and he's read our thoughts I saw him change into a wolf at midnight run through the bean bags Observing their humor. Did you hear his pacing? It was I thought he was gonna say one thing and he said it's completely different one Did still witness his crowd work work with goody Charlene

This has been our podcast my brother my brother me it's very dumb We got a bunker buddies live show coming up April 2nd Make sure you catch that go to bit dot ly's for slash bb live show and Skosie Travis and Andy talk about has survived the apocalypse. I weren't doing that alongside spilled milk It's a great podcast. It's gonna be a great night. It's gonna be super fun We also want to say thanks again to blue apron who makes cooking at home easy You can get a first two meals free by going to blue apron comm slash my brother highly recommend it

Check out macaroy shows calm for all our shows Twitter accounts Facebook groups and contact info as well as PO box info It's where you go to find all this stuff just to just a heads up max fun drive is just around the corner It kicks off March 14th. It's gonna run for two weeks So we'll have two episodes of my brother my brother in me where we will be telling you all about the max fun drive It is amazing. We are a donor supported network We've been able to do like so many podcasts this this past year like we have expanded our output Well Travis mostly, but we're all a real born. Yeah, we're all doing like more and more podcasts more than ever And it's because of the support that we get from listeners at during the max fun drive. So we'll have lots of

Bonus episodes We'll have new stuff this year, but by donating you donating you also get access to all of the episodes throughout the fullness of time And we're gonna be doing some extra bonus length episodes. We've got some ideas for stuff We're gonna do during the drive talking to be really exciting kicks off March 14th runs for two weeks We're gonna have gifts for new donors and upgrading members lots lots lots of stuff going on there So March 14th runs for two weeks You can find out more at maximum fun or you can also find the other shows in the maximum fun network Like it shows like throwing shade getting curious through the shows like

Stop podcasting yourself shows like bullseye Shows like Jordan Jesse go ten of great shows on the network. Go check them out And we have a brand new iTunes landing page for all the Macro shows if you're an iTunes user and you haven't yet We'd love for you to rate review and subscribe to all the shows go to itunes.com slash Macro shows And they're all right there. Thanks to John Rodgers in the long winters for the use of our theme song It's a departure off the album putting the days to bed It's a wonderful wonderful album and it's good for this this build up to summer To get pumped for get pumped for the summer months

You guys want to find on Yahoo? Hell yeah, I know oh wait I want more thing for because I just did this and I'm very excited about it If you go to maxfunstore.com There's a ton of really awesome maxfun merch there And we got a lot of my brother my brother me an adventure zone and all the other shows stuff there But I just purchased a really sweet flop house t-shirt And really yeah, and a really sweet Salbones t-shirt the one with the really cool skull design so Taylor did yeah, they're coming soon

You have to see me in these choice shirts and my wife in these choice shirts But I always forget how awesome this stuff is there till I go look again and everybody's got awesome awesome stuff Go check it out. I gotta find my Yahoo. Can I read it? Yes? Yeah, send by Yahoo answers No, it wasn't I mean Zoe kinsuke. I guess is technically a yahoo answers user I already for riding high Zoe kinsuke. Thank you Zoe. It's by Yahoo answers user Glower Ian glow. No glowy Aaron glowy Aaron asks Are there any movies where Paul G. Amati is just happy chipper, dude? That's where the lips

Maximum fun or comedy and culture artist owned listener supported Hi, I'm Sydney McElroy and I'm Riley Smirl and we co-host a podcast called still buffering a sister's guide to teams through the ages On our show we tackle all of the hot teen topics that kids have on their minds today hot teen topics Well, you know that the questions that are that are plaguing Teenagers through their tumultuous growing years questions like how do I party or what do I do with all this hair everywhere? The same questions that people like Sydney had during their years as teenagers many many many Okay, not that so so long ago. Yeah, okay. I think they get the idea So search for still buffering on iTunes or maximum fun org for new episodes every Tuesday still buffering

I am a teenager and I was too