My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 301: The Pirate King

Episode Date: May 2, 2016

Here it is, our first episode of MBMBaM Vol. 2. What's different in this bold new chapter of our podcast? Viiirrtuuaallllyyyyy noooothiiiiiing. Suggested talking points: Twitter Defense Force, Frutopia Curse, Dunk Etiquette, Dog Park Visitor, Buried Treasures, Yahoo Apologies

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody and welcome to a brother brother meeting by show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother, the real Travis McElroy. I'm your sweet, sweet baby brother, sweet ass baby brother Griffin McElroy. I have never had any doubts about the validity of your identity, Travis.

What did you feel the need to clarify that you were the real Travis McElroy? Well, Justin, I am a grade A stamped, approved, real, 100% American verified by Twitter, Travis McElroy. My life has really turned a corner. I got that blue check mark. Twitter has verified me. Everything's changed. Everything's changed. The way I understand it, you literally woke up and it was like any other day. It is like any other day. Maybe you could tell me there's like a sweet smell in the air, the sweet smell of honey suckles and you're like, something's changed. The sun was a little brighter. Well, that's just a little better. Okay. I think it's funny because there's been a big social media push recently.

Travis, do you know any of the ringleaders of that who are trying to get you verified? There's a Change.org petition. That was Anagiles. That was a huge part of it, I assume. But I also think it was just like my friends Kanye and Kim. Different Kanye and Kim. Not the famous ones. Yeah. Kanye Mendelsen, your friend that works at Twitter. Yeah. And he was pushing really hard. Dave helped me out. Just not a specific Dave, mind you, just like the general idea of Dave. Yeah. I do just want to point out Twitter, your verification process. It sounds really cool considering that it needed no feedback from Travis whatsoever. You're just like, yeah, that thug seems real. Click, flipped it on.

He's real. This is what they do. They go around in a circle and they say, am I no Travis? And so he says, oh, I know Travis. He's real as hell. And I don't want to bite the hand that feeds me here because I'm very excited to be verified. But I didn't receive an email or a notification or even a tweet from Twitter. What would be the utility of telling you that you're Travis McElroy? I guess that's true. But I only found it out because somebody who follows all verified accounts was like, congratulations on your verification. I was like, oh, what? Cool. Awesome. I had a huge, like I was going to throw a party. I was going to make a banner. I was going to do a big champagne

toast. And that was all taken away from me because I didn't get any forward knowledge of it. By the official Wendy's Twitter account. It was like, what's up, Travis? Welcome to the club. Welcome to the squad. Free Wendy's for life. The confidence that I've gained alone, not to mention like the immense amount of power and benefits that come from being verified. But the confidence alone has been a game changer. You become a sort of vessel for the hopes and dreams of people. Yeah. You are the orphan Annie of of of us. You are like, the sun will come out tomorrow because I have a blue check mark. I'm like a folk hero of Twitter because they're like, he's not one of the rich ones. He is not a taste maker. He's not a powerful person. And yet he's still verified.

How did he get there? Is he a journalist? Does he work for some big company? No, he talks into a microphone seven days a week. Travis is an inspiring reminder that literally anybody, any old Jag, anybody, any fool, anybody with like two brain cells to rub together can get verified. Now, Travis, you give me the confidence I need to pursue my live stream. Now that I've seen you accomplish yours with ease, you're going to see me accomplish my live stream, which is to destroy Twitter from the inside out, to eat away at it from inside, like a disease. We have a lot of people who work at the trades listening to this podcast right now. What can we expect from Travis's new checkmark to Twitter account? What can we expect? Maybe like

more like brand evangelism, some as some advertorials for like Kraft macaroni and cheese. I've already been talking about Kroger. I've been talking about Nylo Bone, they're their followers of mine. I'm not going to take my foot off the gas as far as weird, funny tweets at 11.59 just before I fall asleep will go. You know, you're going to see like three, four times what I've already been doing. Nylo Bone is launching a men's fashion line. And they are having a hard time getting that ball rolling down the old hill. But here comes Travis and he's wearing a Nylo Bone Dickie, which is their sort of their flagship product. And he looks fucking great. And you don't know whether or not to trust this this Nylo Bone shill. But then you look at

that blue checkmark and everything's okay. So Travis, do you think when you tweeted serious question, shouldn't it be games of throne? You think people at Twitter were like, yes, we've done a great job on that one. This is a taste like a good work here. This has been Travis's tweet review. Let's just actually do it, Justin. If you and I want to do a comprehensive audit real quick. Just see what verified Travis is up to. I know. I've been a little bit on fire for the last couple of days. So you go right ahead. I'm pretty proud of some. A lot of tweets about Gallivant on ABC. Lots of big fan of Gallivant. Wow, lots of tweets about Gallivant, Travis. You're once a shot. It's a little bit up in the air, Griffin. And I, I'm unpaid a huge proponent

of Gallivant. I want people to watch it. I want people to go on Twitter, tweet at ABC and say, hey, more Gallivant, please. Thank you very much. I do appreciate you tweeting with Ashley Burgeon and the carbony about how great Monster Factory is. I'm trying to get that word out. I want to use my power and influence to build up my tiny, tiny brother's careers. You know what I mean? Do you, do you feel an impetus Travis now that you're the real Travis McRoy? Do you think that that maybe has a point of meditation for you that like you always have to be bringing at real 100% no games? You know, it's actually the opposite, Justin, because I remember being in college and trying to figure out who I was and I was like, what, what are the things I like

versus the things I think I like? Cause other people like it. And now Twitter has basically said, you are you. Don't worry about it anymore. So now they've kind of, yeah, they've kind of let me off the chain because I know now I am Travis McRoy. Yeah, I have self actualized you. Yes, I am the most Travis McRoy I could be. Everything I'm doing is right. Yeah. I never, in fact, I should be doing more of what I'm already doing. There's a, I want to dive into just a subject that's important to me real fast. If I can, I know this has been a very Travis-centric intro, but I'd like to talk just more broadly about the whole sort of McRoy universe. You tweeted on April 29th, post verification, I'm assuming. There's no subject I'm more afraid

to talk about on Twitter than at Scott Bacula. His fans can be very intimidating. And then you've got a response from, and I don't think we should say her, her handle because I don't want to. Though I will say she is known in the community. She, this, this user said that's because they are more intelligent than you, which you retweeted, which like, I guess is fine. And I looked and I realized that I had this person blocked. And I realized this because I've tweeted about Scott Bacula before and this person has come down on me like a flock, like a murder of crows. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's really good. If you, if you mention Scott Bacula, this person will respond. Is it a bot? Is it a bot? This, this fucking Scott Bacula Kingsguard? No, no, because

they drop in out of nowhere and they will put you on blast and it's been like a specific blast. Like even if you're like, Scott Bacula is the most amazing actor on the planet. I love him so much. They'll come back like, fuck you. You have no idea what you're talking about. You're like, cool, cool, cool. This is like highly targeted. No, it is like, no, it is highly targeted. And I know that it's real because when I tweeted that thing about being intimidated by the fans, a bunch of people responded, don't listen to blank. They are the worst. Even we in the community don't like them. So like, this is just an outlier rogue Scott Bacula fan. Don't track this person down and tweet at them by the way. I do not want them to change this game. I love this game. I'm

sad I blocked them. I'm going to unblock them right now. Honestly. Yeah, that's why I retweeted it because I actually, I respect the avarice. Can the three of us adopt the highway so to speak and each pick a celeb and it just fought like at a column on tweet that any time fucking anybody talks about them, we swoop in like Batman like, Hey, moron and just like give it to him raw. I think somebody said we're idiot. Like somebody said, why won't you go on like doing it at Scott to say, why won't you go on the show still? Please don't do that again. Thanks. Thank you. Please. I had a lot of that had a lot of that after the last episode. Thanks gang. Love your fervor, but let's bottle that one, that particular channel of it up. We have, we have channels

and we've got people to contact. Thank you very much. None of them will work, mind you. Someone swooped on the on them and said it's because they're idiot man children. It's like, whoa. All right, let's pick them. Let's pick them. Let's do a quick draft for our adopt the highway project. This is tough. I know it's really tough. It can't be something. It can't be like fucking Brad Pitt because that's your, that's your whole life. And it can't be anybody. I was gonna say like a David Tennant, but I feel like there's too busy to be kidding me on the fucking internet. That's where David Tennant David Tennant basically lives on the internet. He's basically like that movie transcendence. Should we pick other Huntingtonians? Should we do this for like Brad

Dorough and Michael Cerferis? Like where we could, if somebody tweets, when people tweeted soupy sales, we could defend them. Like how dare you? I like that. I like locking down the H H town game. I've met Michael Cerferis and I would feel weird like, because if I ever see him again, he'll be like, oh, you're my weird Twitter Kingsguard. And I'll have to be like, yeah, that's that's me. I'm sorry. It seemed like you, I thought you liked it and wanted it. I've got mine. I've got mine. Okay, hit it. Carry OS. Oh, yeah, I think you're going to have a little bit of competition on that front. If you want to be the person that leaps to his defense, but I feel pretty confident. I'm a big fan. Yeah. And yes, I feel like you say the name, people know the name. He's got name

recognition. Yeah, but I don't feel like there's already like a lot. Okay, I would have some competition, but I think I could nudge my way to the front. Thanks to a little blue check mark. Why is this verified person so defensive of me? Yeah, that's what I'm saying, just I'm getting through every filter on the planet. All right, Travis, I haven't until now, but I am to see if you actually follow through this, I am going to start following you just to see if you actually make good on this. I'm glad that I finally earned your follow. Okay, listen, this is an advice. Hold on, you don't want to know who I picked? Yeah, who do you pick Griffin? I'm putting up my tweet announcement of who I picked right now. But I've decided to just go

ahead and do Scott Bakula, because here's the thing. This mean, mean, mean woman is doing a poor job. She's got a fucking itchy trigger finger. I feel like this is more indicative of her wanting to say mean things to people on the internet. And Scott Bakula is just like the vehicle, the hearty tostito chip that carries her hate salsa. I don't, I don't play that shit. He needs a better class of defender. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think that that's an excellent choice. Okay, this is an advice show. Justin, you're not that big one. You're just going to skirt the whole discussion. I don't want to commit myself to it, because then I don't want people tweeting about me saying like, Hey, your boy, Peter Stormair is under fire again. Maybe you need to like get in

there and help take him down. Well, I think you just threw your hat over the fence. I think you just here's the three. Okay, listen, listen, I'm just going to say this real quick. There is an at Brad Doriff Twitter account. It has three tweets. They're from 2009 and 2010, respectively. These are the tweets I gave Mr. Doriff's rep the info Twitter balls in his court. Now, next week, Mr. Doriff is still not using this Twitter account, sad music. I thought he is publicist would use it for updates maybe someday. Third tweet looks around takes brooms, sweeps out dust and cobwebs. This place feels a little empty. Only one person could make this place out. It's so good. It's so good. They set up a little like Brad Dorf exoskeleton and they're just waiting

for him to hop inside and take control. Oh, man. Okay. I literally just sat at a Scott back to the column on tweet deck and I'm going to be watching it during the show just for any fucking anybody who steps because here's the thing. I feel like we need this is volume two now, right? We need new segments and I feel like we should endeavor everything that we do every question that we do. We just like we try to make a segment out of it and maybe a new segment is like back to the defense force. I'm tweeting right now about my love of carry out ways. All right. Well, let's maybe let's we should all close Twitter and do some advice. Yeah, I think that that sounds good to me. I'll pick somebody at Peter storm marriage seems good. Like, but I don't

think Peter storm marriage needs me. You know what I mean? Not like Scott. Not like Scott back to the needs me has to have me has to all Griffin. I must have him while taking a small road trip to Chicago with my girlfriend. We pulled off into a rest stop to switch off driving. While there, I decided to buy a bottle of water from a vending machine. To my surprise, there was a cold bottle of water in the bottom of the vending machine just sitting there. I took the water. But now that I have it, I'm afraid it could be poisoned. Should I trust this mysterious bottle of water from a dirty, old Indian arrest stop or throw it out the goddamn window? That's from water, weary water.

I cannot imagine that they are still waiting on an answer to this question. Yeah, it's just that Travis sent this email 14 hours ago. So. Okay, what would you guys do in this in this scenario? I don't think I'd drink it. Oh, I don't know. I think I would. I think that if I was like, oh, I'm going to pay $1.75 or whatever for the Sonny and then they're in the tray is the DeSani is the DeSani you want to be like, oh, swoop. I feel like I feel like a true adulthood or maybe it's not even adulthood, but like you you reach a point in your life of financial stability where the 0.0001% chance that you'll drink something that will kill you no longer

becomes worth saving a dollar. Yeah, but like that doesn't like, okay, it just doesn't make sense to me that if you're going to go through the trouble of poisoning something, why would you set a honeypot by which like the person probably would be inclined not to drink it? You know what I mean? Like if you wanted to put a poison bottle of water somewhere, it seems like you would put it in a refrigerator at like a speedway or something, something that people would actually like drink not like you're not why are you just trying to poison? Well, hold on. You're thinking too much about like the physical poisoning. What about like a curse or? Yeah, the curse is what I was thinking of also. Yeah, something more along the lines of like, they have not physically altered the

makeup of this Dasani at all, except if you're the one who takes it, maybe you'll be thirsty forever. Well, we are all going to be thirsty for like that's, I hope no, I mean, like no amount of liquid, no amount of beverage could slakeable. Yes, unslakeable. Thank you. That would be the name of the movie unslakeable. Unslakeable. I'm glad that we've pivoted away from poisoning advice, which is what we were. Oh, boys, we were really dangerously teetering on the edge of becoming a poison. Let me tell you how I'd kill a stranger in a speedway. How to get away with cursing water? I bet if you could market cursed water, it would sell really fucking well. I don't know why you would. Okay, the thing about a curse is that in order for it to work, there has to be a sort of like

a sacrifice, an iron, like an irony behind. Oh, I see. You have to, there's a re, okay, if you take a bottle of water out of the vending machine that's already in the vending machine, you don't pay your money. You're just like doing what's best for the environment. You're not throwing that in a landfill. Why should you be punished for that? You know what I mean? Like if there was a like a table and on it, it said like four service dogs only and you went over and just like drained it, right? Then I could see where you would be punished for that karmically. Yes. And you'd wake up being a service dog the next day. You'd wake up as a service dog, shaggy, DA. And then like the evil wizard would show up and say, I said it was for service dogs only. And then Tim Allen's like,

when the fuck am I going to learn my lesson? When am I going to learn my lesson? I've got to dial it in. I know I'm going to eat this cursed milk and cookies. Oh, shit, Santa Claus 4, dog to Santa, kickflip. Santa pot, wait, that's already a thing. Santa pot is two. You know how the first, the first one starts with Santa dying and Tim Allen stealing his clothes, his chili. And he's saying like, oh, I like these boots. And it's like, oh God, I think I'll take these for myself. I didn't think that the scene of Tim Allen stripping Santa's corpse needed to last for 10 minutes. Yeah. But it was like bold. And two of those minutes were just a close-up on his slowly engorging hog. Yeah. It's wild. It starts off a long, long scene of him digging a

shallow grave in his backyard as he laughed covered in blood was, I didn't think it was appropriate for a kids movie, but no one mentioned it in any of their critiques. And his hog just fluctuated between different states. As he laughed. As he laughed. It was like, haha. But then he got really, then he got really chubby and grew a big beard. And then we all had raging hogs. I think your problem was going to drink water anyway. What's water going to do? Yeah, that's it. If I'm going to try and poison a fool with a vending machine, honeypot, you know, I'm going to put some frutopia down there, not some water. Because if you walk up to that machine expecting to, if even if you walk up to that machine expecting to get some water and you see a free frutopia waiting for you,

my plans have just shifted in a wonderful new direction. Like the HGB water you like so much, Griffin, what if they put that down there? I've recently learned that it's being discontinued. And I really don't want to fucking get into it right now. Okay, sorry. Do you guys want a yahoo? I'd like that. Thank you. This yahoo was sent in by Aaron Keese. By the way, is there anything in that question that we could turn into a new segment? Maybe like Travis's curses or no. Aaron Keese sent this in. Thank you, Aaron. It's by yahoo answers user Darius who asks, I want to be an explosive dunker, but I'm skinny and can do a basic two hand dunk. I'm 6'6 already and 16. I want to be able to catch oops, which is I believe a shorthand for

hoops jams. I think it's short for Alex Oops. That would be a great basketball name. You know how like basketball players when they get like super, super famous, they can like change their name to cool sounding shit like Larry Bird? You think that was really his name? Because he flies like a bird. Because he flies like a bird when he puts those dunks in the rim. Explosive dunks, little on the skinny side. I don't think that matters so much. You got the 6'6. But he's got the height. You got the height is going to be good. How can you learn to catch oops? Because I've always thought of that as being like sort of bred into a child. What you need is you need a oops partner who is both taller and better at basketball than you.

Yeah, I guess that's a good point Travis here. A good oops is like a contract of trust between two people. And ideally what you want is for them to already be making the shot and you're just barely touching the ball. And then you take all the credit. I would see a scorekeeper. You received a trophy for that, didn't you? A trophy for that and everything. Yeah. And so what did you learn from your time watching the? Yeah, like you would be the best. If I dunk every day, then I only know how I dunk as the scorekeeper. The scorekeeper might arguably be the best basketball player on the whole court because they have to watch like a hawk and see every dunk that everybody does. That's why I try to tell people that I was the best one out there.

And you spent 10,000 hours as the scorekeeper, right? So you became like a basketball expert. Sort of a basketball expert. You know, I tried to, I got so into that groove. I tried to join the wrestling team as a manager and it was me. And at the time to sign up for it, it was me and seven girls. And one of the girls said that that job was only for girls and that I could destroy the wrestling team. Sexism is alive in America. I know, right? Finally. This fucking fox, this fucking fox catcher too. Yeah, I was, I was told that I was, because of my gender, I was not going to fill that role. And I was like, I get it, you know? For too long, men have suffered under the thumb of the matriarchy.

Right. So when people talk about like the glass ceiling, for example, and they say it's something that affects women in my head, I usually amend that to say just the women and Justin. Also, Willy Wonka shattered the glass ceiling with the Wonka Vader. I saw it. Sorry, ladies. He destroyed sexism forever. He destroyed sexism forever. He and Charlie. I don't know why naming another white man as his successor shattered the glass ceiling, but I saw it in all of its technicolor glory. I think he just replaced the glass ceiling in the glass elevator, which is basically a little glass prison, which is arguably much, much worse. Explosive dunks. Oh, guys. I had some bad old chili last night. Explosive dunks.

Oh, it's all raw down there. I think it's not about your size. It's about, it's not about the, the player and the pay. It's about the heart and the player. And you're on some Michael's secret stuff shit right now. I want to give this person practical explosive dunk advice. So an explosive dunk, an explosive dunk, I think you would define going from like zero on the floor, not even, you don't even have the basketball in your hands to like up in the fucking paint hoop from like how fast you can get up there and how scary you can be while you do it. That's a, it's an intimidation game, the explosive dunks. I'm sick of this. It's all a mental game, Griffin. That's what I'm saying. You, you have to yell something out while you dunk. And the first

couple of times, maybe the first hundred times, you're going to yell something and then the dunk won't happen. And you'll look really foolish. But, but on the one hundredth and one time, when you yell like dunk comes and you do it and you nail it, everyone's gonna be like, damn, damn, dunk comes to deal. See, I'm not interested in yelling something when I'm on the court going for a sick dunk. When I go for a nasty dunk, when I go for a nasty dunk, what I, what I want to be remembered for by my fellow players, I don't want to be remembered for my dunking ability. I want to be remembered for my kind of generous heart. So before I go for a dunk, I normally say something quietly so that only my fellow players can hear me, but in a conciliatory, like,

considerate thing to say before a dunk. So like, if I'm going up off the paint, elevator, magic, magic man, go for two, the sickest two, I look at another player and I'll say something like, next time it'll be you. And then I'll go for it. You know what I mean? Or like, or like nothing personal. And then I'll take it, take it down there. Or like, you know what I mean? Like, you have a lovely family. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Hey, shoes are untied. But only if their shoes, I can't say this stuff, are untied. Because you don't, it's not, it's not a prank. Okay, we're not, I'll salute your shorts here. Yeah, we're trying to play basketball, gentlemen. What if you, every time you dunk, apologize to everybody on the team? Because like, I think

if I ever joined a basketball outfit, and I saw one of my co-dunkers get a dunk instead of me, I'd be like, I wish I was the one, I wish I was the one getting up in the paint and dunking. So like, what if every time you dunked, you'd be like, I know you guys wish this is you, but it's me this time, and next time maybe all, maybe next time it'll be you. You know what I had found helps with that Griffin? If I'm running up to take it downtown, like if I'm about to like, nasty dunk, as I'm passing one of my fellow players, I'll say like, boost me, boost me, boost me. So they'll like, get a hand on me and kind of like, help lift me. So when I do the dunk, like they're not clear in their head, they kind of feel like,

I don't know if he would have made it by himself. I would have. Yeah. But you know, like, I feel like that gets them involved. You know, it's like fun for them too. Michael Jordan did that to keep his relationship good with Larry Bird, because Larry Bird's a very jealous man. Holy shit. And like every dunk that anybody gets, even in the games he doesn't play, every time he can't even watch basketball on TV anymore, because he sees all these dunks happening, he's like, that should have been mine. And it's like, you don't even play for the Charlotte Hornets. You could also act as though you're acting on,

you could shout them out as you're going for the dunk. So sort of like, as you're going up in the air, you're just like, Bloody Divock taught me how to do this. And then Bloody Divock's like, hell yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the credit. Thank you. Well, I think every time you dunk, because I've never done it. And I imagine it's like the hardest, it's the hardest thing in the world, right? Dunking, it's the hardest, it's the hardest feat in sports. A lot of people say, why don't you get bonus points for dunking? Exactly. Yeah, it's worth a poultry amount of

points, but it's the thing everybody goes to the shit for the shit. I think you should get points for fighting in hockey too, but that's a whole nother kettle of fish. I think every time you dunk, you should be able to give an Oscar style acceptance speech immediately afterwards. Like immediately, just pause the game for like, it doesn't have to be very long, like 20 seconds. And just be like, for this dunk, I just want to say huge ups to the Space Jam soundtrack. Spent a lot of hard days in the old asphalt jungle learning the ropes to the songs from R. Kelly. And oh, it's over. All right, back into the regulation time. I think Larry, I know you're watching this one. Larry, I know you're watching. Just

fucking cool it, dude. Stop calling my house at night. Stop with the tweets. Travis is getting exhausted. I think the problem with that rule, they used to have that. Yeah. You guys are too young to remember. They used to have that. But the problem is you have players who started telling very interesting stories in 20 second chunks. Yeah. So at the end of it, they'd be like, and if you want to hear how this one wraps up, if you want to hear how it got out of this great, then you'll just have to let me dunk again. And they had a big problem with players like, everybody back, back, back, back, back, back. I gotta hear this. Larry Bird. I don't know what happened to that chicken. Yeah. So where did the car end up? I think that when you dunk,

not only should your team get two points, the other team should lose two points. That's really good. Because really, that's what a dunk signifies. Like I am dunking on you. What if, like, not like I shot a basket and made it, like this dunk is to embarrass you. Yeah. What, what if dunking was like the golden snitch, a basketball, and the first team that does it gets 150 points. And the game's over. And the game's immediately over. And to sort of, to sort of make it a little bit harder to do, we're going to raise that hoop up like 10 more feet, huh? Let's get that hoop. And then everybody has to lift you up and everybody's dunking together. That's what I'm saying, bro. I'm talking about full blown cheerleader pyramid to get, I bet. And,

but see, then you start getting folks like, I mean, to Kim and Mutombo doesn't need as many folks helping him up. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, Ming is finally like, you know, he's not the best shooter in the league, but I mean, he's gonna, he's the fucking Harry Potter snitch dunking. If you want to instantly improve basketball, start playing the game with a water balloon shaped like a basketball. Because what is that going to lead to? No dribbles. Thank you. Yeah. Soft passes. Absolutely. One dunk and the game's over. Yeah. And it's like such an explosive finish. That's it. That's the end of the game. What if it's a Gatorade balloon and then it's two birds, one stone? Yeah, exactly.

You just put the coach right under the basket. The coaches have to stand under their baskets too. That's key. That's fun. And maybe we could, maybe it could be like a fundraiser or fundraiser. Oh, it's going to be that for sure. There's a dog part near my work and sometimes I go there to eat lunch. I don't even ask to pet the puppies. I just sit on a bench and eat a sandwich and watch the dogs play. And then I leave when I'm done. I feel like this is totally normal or at least not creepy behavior. But the other day, a dude got all up in my face about it. He said, if I didn't have a dog with me, I shouldn't be there. I got flustered and left, but now I can't help but wonder, was he the asshole or am I unknowingly creeping out of

the puppies? That's from puppy peeping in Provo. He is the asshole. No puppy. No, no, no, no. The person yelling at him. Yeah. Okay, good, good, good, good, good. Real quick sidebar. Anthony on Twitter tweeted that Scott Bakula is decent at best. And I responded, don't be a moron. First one down. And I'm like fucking trembling right now. I feel high. 17 minutes. No one's tweeted about carry always. Okay. We'll get him. We'll get him. We'll get him. We'll bring him in. I still haven't picked one. Yeah. It's fun, man. I'm like, who the fuck? I'm like, fucking hopped up right now. I'm feeling punchy. I did a Google search for the nicest celebrities because I want him. I want him. Yeah, I want to be worth it. You know what I mean?

Yeah, sure. Like I want to be. Justin, can I pitch one for you? Yeah, sure. Steve Buscemi. Yeah. Is he active on Twitter though? It seems like he would have better things to do. But no, no, no, that's going to be a rough one because like I feel like Steve Buscemi falls into this weird category of just like everybody feels like, oh, it's okay to make fun of how he looks. Oh, Steve Buscemi. It's totally fine to make sure, make fun of how he looks. That's okay. That's like, cool. We can meme that. That's easy. It's not, guess what? When you make fun of Steve funny, see, even I'm in it. I'm too deep in. Even when you make fun of Steve Buscemi's appearance, that's not a meme. That's a meme. So just think about what you say. Just like,

think about how your words would affect him. What about Keanu Reeves? How is that what you think he does? I think that would be a busy job for you, but I think he needs the most defending. Like it seems like he might need some help. I think he'd really appreciate it above all else, but like in a really chill way. Like, thank you. Oh, he's a chill. He's a chill, bro. This is, I can't believe this has happened to you. And I want to apologize. I don't even own a dog. I'm not like a part of that community. I want to apologize on behalf of them because it's not a crime to look at some dogs. It's not like you're posted up outside of the, like, the, the, where they, where the babies like chill out after they get

the baby park where they can go out and just like poop and run around and do whatever. It's not like that. It's not like you're scoping out somebody's kids. You know what I mean? You're just looking at some dogs and dogs are there to be looked at. That's just it. That's just it. Especially if you're not bothering anyone and you're not doing shit. Like, it'd be one thing if you're a walk around the park and be like, Oh, is that your dog? Nice. Nice. How you do? No, I do. Creepy. But if you're just like sitting on a bench outside the fence, eating your sandwich. No, wait, but wait, you've just said it. What's on that sandwich? What's on the sandwich? Because if you be honest with yourself,

if you're pointing out, if you're eating a sandwich full of things that dogs would just go fucking crazy for like begging the strips, then BSLT, BSLT, then you know what you're doing. You know, you just go to that dog park just to see who you can get riled up. And maybe you should, maybe you should leave. Are you riling up the puppies? Are you sitting there like whispering through the fence? Like I, I heard princess tickles saying some bullshit about you and you're trying to get like, you know, a kerfuffle going on in the dog park. Are you a dog park like dirt stirrer? Well, maybe don't do that. But if you're just going to calmly sit there, maybe do a little candy crush on your phone, eat a sandwich and in between candy crush levels, scope out the puppies.

Yeah. I don't see anything wrong with that. I just remembered another person's joke, which I'd like to say on the podcast, which was from the hit website, Steve, don't eat it. Which is maybe my favorite website. And Steve don't eat it once reviewed begging strips, which they ate and said that it tasted like the smoky puke of a thousand maniacs. So that's good. I don't think there's anything wrong to look at a dog. I really don't think there's anything wrong to look at a dog. Are they saying that you're some sort of like pervert for looking at a dog? If that's the case, I've seen every airbud movie. Does that make me a pervert? Yeah, it does. It definitely, definitely does. Definitely, definitely does.

I have a few names I wanted to float by you guys. Okay. Just like celebs that have been rattling around my head. Okay. Tom Kavanaugh. Ooh. That's a good pick, right? I'm a big fan. But Tom, I feel like Tom is like, I feel like there's a chance that in my, I don't want to be somebody who I think I'll meet. Yeah, exactly. Kavanaugh can really hold his own too. Yeah. Tom Kavanaugh doesn't really need to. Okay. I've listened to Mike and Tom eat snacks and I think that's another thing. I don't think we should do a podcaster because that's fucking weird. Okay. Let me hit you with this. I'm pretty into this one. I'm kind of this one's been rattling around. What about Joshua Jackson?

Now that's someone I could really sink my teeth into. Now, Josh Jackson, I could get Joshy as I call it, because I could get into. I'm currently deciding between, it's going to be one of these two, either Joshua Jackson or Stephen Amell. Who? Stephen Amell. See, I don't. The arrow. Oh. Now, see, that's going to be busy for you because now he's all up in the WWE. And I feel like he's a little bit too new on the scene, where I feel like a Joshua Jackson. You're going to get people, for example, I see this guy on Twitter talking about how Kerry Ellis is so good in Princess Bride and the worst piece of shit in everything else. Oh boy. Did you treat it him yet? Yes, I did. What did you say? I feel like I could

have been meaner. I think I just said he, because he also said I talked to Kerry Ellis and he said he died after Princess Bride. So he's sorry, but it's hard to act as a rotting corpse. And I responded. He's alive and well and an amazing actor. Thank you very much. I think I probably could have been meaner. I don't feel like anybody would say anything negative about Joshua Jackson. And that's why when they did a lot of like, keep swimming in Dawson's Creek and stay out of such and such. You don't think you get that. Okay, but here's the question. And this is really actually very important. Do I keep a Twitter handle search for Joshua Jackson, of course, as Van City Jax, or do I keep a Joshua Jackson Cowards,

Cowards column? I've got both going right now. Okay, that's good. I've got an act, Kerry Ellis, and I have just Kerry Ellis subtweeting. I'm ready to jump down anyone's throats. Travis also has the Kerry Elves with a V, just like if people misspell it and they're trying to talk shit. And C-A-R-R-Y-L-Ways and C-A-R. I've had to get a second screen. I do want to say Justin, Joshua Jackson. I don't think people are going to say a lot of mean things about him. And that's exactly why you need to defend him is because when they do say a mean thing about him, I don't think that he'll be... I just want to be active in this pursuit. I don't want to be a hollow thing. Like everything else in my life, I lose interest.

You know. Can we acknowledge the fact that we have been recording now for about 40 minutes-ish? And in that time, in a 40-minute window in the universe, people have said mean shit about Kerry Elves and Scavagla. I didn't expect that kind of turnaround on this goof that, nope, yep, yep, yep, there were... Travis, unfortunately, I'm going to have to take away your verified check mark because apparently you don't know fuck all about Twitter. Yeah. I was thinking maybe once a day somebody would say something mean about Kerry Elves. I don't know that I've got the time. Yeah. Oh, I got it. Pierce Brosnan. Solid. Don't even... Boom goes to deadline. Don't even say anything about Pierce Brosnan on Twitter. I will come for you. Get pierced.

I like that because I think that Pierce Brosnan seems tough, but I think that he's probably a very sensitive soul that if you say like, yeah, go sit in your invisible car, dumbass, like he probably cries a little bit. Yeah. And he should. That's mean. People shouldn't say that. I'm going to spend more time standing up for Pierce Brosnan. I'm not going to follow him. It seems like... Oh, fuck no. There's no way on earth I'm following Scott Bakula. There's new NCIS. Fucking no way. Are you kidding me? That's too close to the heat. I don't follow Kerry Elves. Quit saying... Quit saying my name rhymes with Dracula. Scott, I fucking get it. Okay, dog.

Let's go to the Money Zone, please, God. Yeah, here we go. I'm almost done. Let me... You guys go ahead and start. I got to get my Pierce Brosnan call in like up and right. Yeah, yeah. Start the... Start the... Start the drag net. I'm going to start talking about me undies, the best underwear that you can wear. Whether you're wearing a suit, whether you're wearing sweats, you spend 24 hours a day in your underwear. The underwear that you wear down there all the time against your most precious materials, it's probably pretty boring. Me undies wants to fix that. They want to make it exciting. They want to make it... They want to liven up your downtown situation, like a Mardi Gras or like Carnival.

All these underwear is made out of a sustainably sourced modal and that's a fabric. It's twice as soft as cotton gang. I have like seven or eight pairs of me undies now and it's like I get excited to wear them and pretty soon I'll have replaced my whole collection with me undies and then it's just going to be a non-stop, just like cool breeze festival down there. I'll tell you what, the me undies has become my metric for when it's time to like do laundry because it's like, oh, on my last pair of clean me undies, it's laundry day. Me undies is dedicated to providing the world's most comfortable underwear in this pursuit. I would say that they have already succeeded. If you don't love your first pair, they're free.

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one with the different boom boxes on it. I'm like, hell yeah, son. I send him a picture of my bare dick and then I send him a picture of my dick with the me undies on. But like if you flip back and forth between real quick, it looks like a magic trick. Yeah, it looks like a magic guy painting. I'd like to take a moment if you guys are quite finished to talk about Bolin Branch. We have been sleeping on Bolin Branch sheets here at our house for a couple months now and I can't sleep without them. If I go out of town, I just lie awake staring at the ceiling, just praying for daylight. And that's the way I've been ruined by Bolin Branch. They'll will let you try these sheets for 30 nights. And I promise you, you're going to need just

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So one more time, bolinbranch.com, promo code MYBROTHER. I would also like to tell you a little about Smash Fiction, the podcast. You should listen. You should subscribe. Here's why. The Power Rangers vs. Godzilla. Gandalf vs. Dumbledore. Batman vs. Dr. Doom. The Smash Fiction podcast settles the most important issues of the day. Who would win if different fictional characters clashed in battle of strengths or wits? Smash Fiction is a debate-style comedy podcast in which a rotating cast of nerds battle on behalf of their chosen characters and a single impartial judge decides who wins. I think that that sounds pretty damn good. Who would win in a fight? Pierce Brosnan, Carrie Ellways, or Scott Bakula. Scott Bakula.

I actually think it would be Pierce Brosnan. I started listening to this podcast and my first thought was, wow, this guy has a great voice. And then I thought, man, I'm learning a lot about architecture and design. And then I realized I had been listening to 99% of visible and that was on me. That's my fault. You goofed up. I goofed up. You blew it. I blew it. Okay. I just didn't want to, I just want to, I just want to get that off my chest. I have another message here. This one's for M. Huff. And it's from, oh, a bunch of stuff. It's from Weed Mom, fish-ass lover, cat hustler, and one lunchman. And this, this Motley. My fish-ass lover. Well, nope. This Motley crew says, happy birthday to our favorite whiskey dad. We are so delighted

to be friends with a wonderful owl fishionado like you, even if you can't help it with all of these gosh darn, a little rude language in here, ridiculous eggs, whether it's yelling about treats or thirsting hard over ruinous elves, you're our problematic fave and we wouldn't have it any other way. Here's to many more years of nestling in the garbage together and wallowing in our filthy, hey, let's look up that word before we just say it. Occasionally shortened to fujopan or just a fujo, this word is a slang term for an extremely bad quality manga scanslation. And now I gotta fucking Google that one. The art of turning a manga from, of one language into a different language includes translation of the story and editing

of the actual artwork. Scanslations are done by fans for the whole fan community. This seems okay, go ahead and say it. Wallowing in our filthy fujo ways. If I just said, like, that's the most work I've ever done to make sure something's not racist. So please, like, if I- So the next time we say something racist, please remember this and just like, give us credit for this. But this, this may have been racist, whatever. Their birthday is Saturday, September 6th, so they wanted this message around then. So like, this message so far, I would say it's been just a complete catastrophe, just a complete fiasco from fucking start to finish. I'm sorry, Emhoff. Emhoff, we did our best. We literally did. That's

the most effort I've ever done on this podcast before. Happy birthday, Whiskey Dad. And just good luck. Good luck to me. I'm gonna need my own fucking Scott Bakula defender after this episode goes up. New to Maximum Fun, the Beef and Dairy Network podcast, the number one podcast for those involved or just interested in the production of Beef Animals and Dairy Herds, all sponsored by Grazex, the latest grass replacement pellet from Mitchell's. If it's not Mitchell's, get back in the truck. Find us at MaximumFun.org or on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast from. And if it's not clear, this is a comedy podcast. Beef out. Hey, how about another yahoo deal though? Yeah, I got one here. And this one was sent in by

119,000. Yeah, drew drew drew. Davenport. Thank you, Drew. It's by Yadru answers user the hooded one. Who says I've got a secret? The hooded one says, where can you find lots of gold? I'm a man in my late 30s. I want to have a lot of treasure, gold, jewels, rubies, diamonds. Where can I find this? I want to have my own Steve's on Sahara quest. I want to have my own national treasure, book of secrets. I want to have my own the mummy to the mummy gets gets back in there. The mummy to still mummy and the mummy to too many mummies. This is a good question. And I'll tell you why. Because where is treasure kept in a treasure chest? Okay. Okay. So like, it's really a chicken in the egg thing. Because if you buy the chest first,

and then you get some gold, like just like a regular amount of gold that you would get. And then you dump in the chest. I bet it looks ridiculous, right? Yeah, it has to be at least three quarters full for it to even like merit having a chest full of treasure. How much treasure do you have to get before like you sit there and like, I need to get a chest. I need to get a chest because the problem is like before that moment, what do you just have like a Kroger bag full of gold? You got a reusable shopping bag of gold. Do you think you start with a very, very small chest? Yeah. A big chest is mostly full of balled up socks, but then there's some gold on top of it. But they never dig deep in the in movies where treasure chests are on earth.

To see it's just like USA Today's that have come up with. We found we found Old Blackbeard, Pirate Corothers, secret chest of goodies. Oh, sick. Look at all these gold nugs. This is mostly socks in here. Here's a note. Yarr, gotcha. Gotcha, suckers. Please don't take the socks. I need those. I need these socks. You know, there was a, the reason they have to have real food in commercials is that Chunky was trying to sell this new soup with lots of vegetables, but the vegetables kept sinking in the bottom. So they filled the bowl with marbles and then dumped the soup on top of it to make it look more vintage. That would be, that would be chunky. Yeah, it was very. That actually sounds mad chunky and exceedingly crunchy, I would say.

I learned that a 99% invisible, by the way. So in case you're well, but so then did somebody eat the marbles? Somebody? No, Travis, they didn't put marbles in the fucking cans. You couldn't do that. But then why, but you, you posed it as though they did that. And then there was some executive like, Hey, hey, hey, from now on, real food in the bowls. No, it's crazier than that. The federal government somehow unearthed their secret. Like what kind of deep throat, marble mouth nonsense is like, somebody's like, listen, you need to dig deeper, dig below the carrots to see if they're going to X-ray camera and run it over the commercial and see if you spy any marbles. You got to jump into the screen like poltergeist. I've always felt that like,

this question makes me think of how much video games lie to me about how this scenario works as an adult. I'm like walking around and like smashing a pot or like opening a box and finding money. No, repeat. How much better the world would be if that happened, except that like, there's somebody on the other end of that. Yeah. Let me hit you guys with this scenario. You take a baseball bat and a slingshot for the, for the jugs and vases that they have up on shelves that you can't reach normally and you want to blast them like that. I think if you took those two pieces of gear and basically were allowed, you were given 10 minutes to just supermarket sweep fucking guys, grocery games, the whole space. If you do that shit up in Glenn Beck's house,

because you know, if there's one motherfucker on this earth that wants to leave behind a legacy of a pirate horde is that fool that's like, sell me your gold. I'm good for it. Why do you need all that gold, Glenn Beck? I'll tell you why. Cause you want to be the, you want to be the new pirate king. That's what's up. If you go up in his house and you do smash open a jug, it's like, Oh, no, you found it. Like a hundred golden coins comes out. I'm seeing when the, when that dude dies or, or just retires from the, the, from television and radio, um, he's going to be like, I know I've been kind of an abrasive figure, but somewhat polarizing. But anyway, I'm about to kick off my own rat race. And then he drops my house with bats.

I hate all my stuff so much. You know, it's not in his house. His house will include the first piece of the map. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're going to need to like look behind a portrait of him. Fuck that. No. Oh my God, you guys. Look at every chalkboard doodle he's ever done on his crazy show. And there's, if you look up in the top left corner, there's a little bit of the map every time, every time. It's all so obvious now. It's all been waiting there for you. Pirate King backyard. It's me, Obama's a Muslim. Yarrr. Yarrr. You crack open the chest and it's like, fuck yeah, there's full of gold coins. You dig in a little bit deeper. And it's full also some socks and a note that says everyone forgets about the Hussein in the middle

of Barack Obama's name, but I think it's important. Anyway, congratulations. Enjoy this $150 and socks. I feel like the video would talk about how it's all leading you to the greatest treasure imaginable when you open the last chest. It's just a note that has the word freedom written in block. Yeah. It's like, ah, fuck. He's right though. Is he right? He's not right. No, he's not right. What if you open the chest and it had a million dollars in it or like a lot of money in it, but all in pennies. So like it was really full, but like it's pennies. Yeah, for sure. What if Sahara ended as Steve Zahn and McConaughey, and I forget who else was in that picture, think maybe a Beckinsale finds the old sunken plain full of treasure and it's like,

fuck yeah guys, we won. We beat all the pirates and we did it. And they crack it open and it's 700,000 pounds of pennies. It's like, well, let's just go home because like we're in the desert. Never, nevermind. I'm not carrying this out. The amount of money it would cost to get these pennies from one place to the other would cost more than the pennies themselves. You got us again, Glenn Beck. Damn you, Pirate King. Classic Glenn. Do you think there's a piece of the map in Glenn Beck's body? Yeah. Like the blue one from Fifth Element? Like a Horcrux kind of thing? I was imagining more like Cheech Marin in I think Once Upon a Time in Mexico. You pop out that fake eye. What is that back there? It could also be the tattooed top of the dude's head.

Oh, don't say it. Oh, what is it? Cutthroat Island. It could also be tattooed all over his body like Blind Spot. You always see Glenn Beck. He's got a tightly buttoned up shirt and his pants are always on. You never see Glenn Beck without his pants on. And apparently I'm the only person that is weird to because if you took those pants off, Blind Spot Treasure Map. I've never seen Blind Spot except when John Hodgson was on it. But I think it's about one way to Treasure Map on her body. Something like that, which is also like Prison Break, right? Oh, God, all these shows are connected. The last shot of the first episode of Prison Break is a young man, I believe Wentworth Miller, taking off his shirt to reveal that he has tattooed a map of the prison on himself. And

that's why I said, well, I won't be watching. Thank you. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks for having me. This has been a lot of fun, but I think I'm going to go ahead and hop off here before the train really gets moving. I think I can still walk back to the station. I would love if that scene happened and you revealed them out. And one of the other prisoners was like, fuck, do you think the problem was we didn't know how to get around the place? Like we know where those rooms are. We've been in here for 20 years. They give this to you in a brochure when you come in. Are you fucking kidding me? It's on the wall. Do you think they refer to that frequently during these days? They're like, hey, I'm lost. Wentworth, take off your shirts. I can stare at your belly.

Remind me where the broom closet is. So we're behind your nipples right now, I guess, or what are your nipples? And we got to get to your other nipple. We just have to get to this hole. That's my belly button. Fuck, that was what the whole plan hinged around. That's our escape hole. Into your tum-tum. Damn it. I think we took a left here and then we took a right at this r-chrome drawing that says keep on trucking. Actually, that one was on there before. That's not actually part of the map. I should have clarified. I kind of worked around that. Just real quick, I think we're probably winding down. It seems like we're on the slow sun setting of Yahoo Answers. If it were up to me, we'd do it forever. But I feel like Yahoo Answers

is like you're going to wake up one morning and it's just as quickly as Travis was verified. Yahoo Answers is just going to be obliterated. So I want to celebrate the good times while we still have them. And Brooks Oglesby sent in this Yahoo. It was asked by an anonymous user, which kind of defeats the point of it. But this anonymous user says, I'm sorry for trolling. And then confesses, I posted the diarrhea questions online and I realized now it might have annoyed some people. I won't do it anymore. I'm really sorry. That's the thing. We harp on people for saying some stuff on Yahoo Answers. And I feel like when somebody is a bigger person and tries to get back on our good graces and accepts and acknowledges what they've done, I feel like maybe

we should recognize that as well. You're right, Griffin. Not enough people make amends sort of online, you know? I just don't want to paint everybody on Yahoo Answers with the same big dumb brush. I posted the diarrhea questions on it. Like they're owning it. They own it. Is the diarrhea questions capitalized? Like the Panama Papers? Yeah. Because she tapes? Yeah. Is this a thing that everyone, like when you say the diarrhea questions, you don't have to say, like, which ones? Because it's not some, it's the diarrhea. It's the diarrhea questions. I'm really sorry though. Listen, if this person's listening, I apologize to you. You're pardoned. I feel like the three of us would be the ones to do that.

I feel like we would have the legal ability to pardon people on Yahoo Answers. I hope that we get a fucking email from Marissa or Melissa, the owner of Yahoo, just like giving us like a one week heads up. Like, hey boys, I know how important this product is to you. Just wanted to give you a one week head up to like record all your Yahoo's for stockpile them, like take shelter and stockpile your shit. Screenshot the shit out of it and then build a house out of those screenshots. I kind of feel like our regulars need to start like field stripping, like conserving them. You know, like they need to start, like have a bunker full of Yahoo's.

Just pickled Yahoo's, yeah. Yeah, they can keep stored. Listen, folks, that's going to do it for us on our podcast. My brother, my brother, and me, this one. The one? The 300, 301. 301. Thanks for listening. We have a lot of fun stuff coming up. We have a couple of live shows that we can't announce yet, but they're soon. When are we going to announce them like next week? I think next week? That sounds a bit right. Yeah. That's not a subtle hint. We're not going to Canada. Sorry. Yeah, no. Can we say we're going, right?

No, but it's good. You're going to love it. We can't say we can't say we're Chicago. We're not doing Chicago. We're not going Chicago. No, we're not going there. But we're going to announce, it'll be two cities, big shows. It's going to be a lot of fun, but it's going to be like a quick turnaround. So just be ready for that. We want to say thanks again to Meundies, who are dedicated to providing the world's most comfortable underwear. Go to meundies.com slash my brother for free shipping and 20% of your first order. I want to say thanks to John Rodgers and the Long Winters for these of our theme song,

is departure off the album, putting the days to bed. It's a fantastic album. And I really like it. We all really like it. It's a fantastic band. Do we congratulate our friend, Lynn, for winning the Pulitzer Prize? Because I just want to say that if we haven't. Oh, yeah, he did that. Yeah. No, he did it. We didn't do shit about it. Well, if you do, oh, by the way, yeah, buy the book, buy the Hamilton is commonly referred to in the vernacular, the Hamilton book. It's like backorder on Amazon because it's the number one best on the book ever on the planet or something. But like, we're in it. So you can check it out. There's a page

where they mention us. So now it's worth reading. I do want to say like a legit thanks to anyone who supported the efforts to get me verified on Twitter. I have no idea what ended up pushing it over the line, but everybody was really on board with it and gave me a lot of wonderful congratulations when it did happen, when it did happen, whatever. And thank you for that. And I really appreciate it. And I also want to say sincerely, everybody should go watch GalaVamp and then tell ABC to make traffic. Jesus, all right. No, stop. I'll be so sad if we don't get a third season. Go listen to those shows on the Maximum Fund Network or go to maximumfund.org and just fucking click anywhere and start listening to

shows like Getting Curious and Throwing Shade and Stop Podcasting Yourself in Bullseye and Jordan Jesse Go and Judge John Hodgeman. We have other shows. You can find them all at McRoyshows.com. Is it a dot com to be secure? Yeah, it's a dot com. Nice. We do a bunch of other shows. Shows like The Adventure Zone or D&D Podcast or Sawbones Medical History Show or Schmanners or in Tarot Bank or Rose Buddies or Cool Games Inc. A bunch of different shows. You can find them all at McRoyshows.com. Scope it. Okay, we're done. Griffin, do you have a file, Yahoo? I got a couple and I've been looking. They're both really, really good. Just pink one. Okay. You can't be burning through them like you did last week.

You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. This is like a finite thing. Aaron Keith sent this one. Thanks, Aaron. It's by Yahoo Answers User. They're anonymous, but they did ask this important query. Can I still vape when I have walking pneumonia? Gotta have my vape. My name's Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. He's been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad. Square on the lips. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. The three of you enter a cave of a big red dragon and is standing over a horde of precious golden rubies. And he says, what do you do, adventures? I'm a dragon man. I cast fire on him. It's very good.

I addressed the red dragon to say, us, we're the hosts of the adventure zone, a podcast about family, playing Dungeons and Dragons. Very good synergy. Commit to the bit. I rolled to charm new listeners. It is very effective against all odds. Everybody wear the macros. We host the adventure zones, a podcast where we play Dungeons and Dragons together. It's a comedy podcast. We don't take the rules too seriously because there's a lot of them and we did not take the time to learn them. Maybe listen to us. We come out every other Thursday on the Maximumfun network. You can find us on iTunes or on Maximumfun.org. I think this promo is a critical hit.