My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 313: Bone Dry Feeners

Episode Date: July 25, 2016

We're back from Boston and ready to answer some old, stale-ass questions we left lying around the studio. Seriously, this joint would be haunted by the stench of our neglected egg-mess, if not for the positive spiritual energy projected by our own personal Craig T. Nelson. Suggested talking points: 3 Many Daddies, Mannequin 3: Ramekin, 50/50 Bag, Bilingualism, Best Boy Craig T. Nelson, Rock Climbing Buddies, Chip Dip Slurry

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello and welcome to my brother, my brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I am your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy. Come that sweet, sweet sugary baby, you're from McElroy. So stoked to be back in the McElroy studios here after our trip to Boston, which was just a delight.

You left two egg sandwiches just sitting here on the audio switchboard, Justin, and they've created a powerful stink in the hot summer sun. It's melted into the soundboard and created its own little biosphere kind of thing. It's really weird and gross. Now that was, okay, there was reasoning behind that. I did have a reason for that. I was worried that we would all be killed in Boston, perhaps, you know, Purge 24-7. So that's why I put the sandwiches under glass. And if you look closely, you can see the little name plate that says, as eaten by beloved Mbembe, my host, Justin McElroy, 1980 to 2016. You ate that sandwich for 36 years?

Always riding. No, that's my life. He's really been savorin' this bad boy. Yeah, it's like, you know how they turned Dolly Parton's childhood home into a Dollywood exhibit? And they just left all the old, old-ass egg sandwiches that she'd taken single bites out of and then just let the hot, stinky summer sun just dude they fang on these egg sandwiches. The best thing about-

Well, they wanted to really give you what it was like to grow up in Dolly Parton's egg sandwich filled home. How sweet would it be if everything was exactly like it was? Like, this is how it grew up, y'all. It was just like this. And there was just like one giant stack of empty, folded-down Mountain Dew cartons. It was like, listen, we pounded this stuff. We're crazy for it.

That was my childhood. Now, I hope nobody thinks I make a fun Dolly Parton. I fuckin' love Dolly Parton. Well, the voice was pretty insulting. It was insulting. Hey, guys, let's meet Dolly Parton. I'm an idiot. That's basically what you were doing.

I wrote, Jolene, I'm a big stupid idiot. Listen to my dumb voice. I wasn't trying to- That sound was me farting. I'm Dolly Parton. Dolly Fertons were like it. Okay. Well, I'm not sure about any of that.

I just want- I don't own that. I love Dolly Parton. That was Justin. That's how I sounded. Um, the one, uh, I've been working my voices lately. Yeah. Because, um, because I read a lot of children's books

and that really gives you a lot of chance to play. Explore the space. Hell yeah. I've been reading this, uh, Mary Poppins book that's about the one scene where they go to visit Uncle Albert, the guy who laughs and floats, remember? So, like, I am on one page floating between Peek, Peek Mary Poppins, Peek, uh, uh, Julie Andrews,

flowing- Can you give me- Can you give me a little bit of that, like, sweet nectar? Hers is like, Spitzbuck, children, come along. Like that kind of vibe. That's actually really good. That was pretty good. That's gonna put some ASMR to people.

And then I'm gonna, and then I like effortlessly flow into bad cockney, uh, Dick Van Dyke. So he's like, you know, I had a story about my uncle. He's got this- That's actually too good, Justin. I'm sorry. He works in a poor factory and he spends all day- That's too good than Dick Van Dyke's actual version.

Making feisty shi- There it is. Like, flip. Like a ninja over a back table right into Edwin. It's like, I'm sorry, children. I just can't stop from laughing. Oh, God. See, that's my-

What's the chuggles get to me? I start flying. That's my ASMR right there, the one that just kind of conflicts with like what my brain wants and needs. It's kind of like a, kind of like a BDSMR or it's just like, you treat my ears so bad, so bad. So you didn't like-

I thought it was like the first time- You never know how these voices are gonna come out at you. Like if you read any stories about- You guys will eventually read some books about, um- You guys will eventually read some books about Mickey Mouse and you're gonna find that you are doing a Passable Minnie Mouse, or Mickey Mouse. And then either Donald or Goofy will come on the scene

and it's just like, I don't- I don't know. Here comes this. Can you give me a- Can you give me a Donald? Yeah, I'll give you a Donald. My Donald is like this. I forgot to turn the lights off, Mickey.

Sorry about that. I knew it because I was gonna say my Donald is just gonna be a terrible Gilbert Godfrey and that's basically what you did as well. Does Charlie look at you when you do that, like you've disappointed her? Like, that's not Donald. Does she look on in fear because it sounds like that impression

is being rung out of you by a large man, like Brock Lesnar's like kicked in the door to the nursery and just grabbed you by the ankle and neck and just rung you until a Donald impression came out. Well, let me get you with this. I'm sorry, children. I just started laughing and I flew up to the ceiling. Is that Goofy or Edwin?

That's Edwin. He's back. It does sound a lot better now compared to your Donald. Yeah, it makes it better in my comparison. But yeah, I got no- I have no Donald. I have no Goofy. But uh-

You- And does Charlie understand? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, my child. I have no Donald or Goofy for you today. I have no Donald today. I have no Donald or Goofy today. We could wait until like a two or three in the afternoon when perhaps my instrument is more warmed up

and might be able to deliver you a passable Goofy. What if it would- I've got to juice my diaphragm. It would be me sitting alone in a room, like talking to myself like- See, that sounds good. The death rattle of Donald the duck. I was going to say,

that's Donald Duck choking on a Werther's original. It's very specific, but I think you all agree that I'm right. That's probably what it would sound like. Is this dad-ass humor? Can it be the only shit now? Do you think? I'm not knocking.

I'm just saying like, I think we're about to enter a new phase of just dad-ass. Do we have to start calling the show My Daddy, My Daddy and Me? Three Dads. Daddy Alert. My Three Dads. There is a name for a podcast. Too Many Dads.

Daddy Town. Here it is. Three Many Dads. Okay. We're a trio of smaller than average dads. Three Many Dads. No, many M-A-N-Y. Many.

Many. I actually like Justin's better. I would like us to be just smaller versions of ourselves, like a Travis at like a tenth of the scale, but I still have to deal with full grown problems. Oh, sure. Yeah. Navigating the world.

Yeah. So we were going to talk about something else, but then we kind of went down another vein and I'm fine with it. Save the other intro for later. I got to be honest, guys. When I saw Uncle Albert was in this book, I just had to open my mouth and just like fling my arms wide and just let myself fall like the guy from that collective soul video off the building.

I was hoping Edwin would get me and it shempered me away. At least the Edwin beneath your wings. There it is. There it is. You found it. Question, Justin, do you ever, when you're doing these books for your child, do you ever open your mouth and surprise yourself with how good you do

at an impression you didn't know you could do before? Yeah. I'm saying exactly like it was literally bizarre to reach into you and figure out that there's an Edwin in there. Yeah. I've got an Edwin. I've got an Edwin in me somewhere. How about we do advice from other people or for other people

and the questions are from other people. My roommate recently started bringing home mannequins from work and putting them around the house. He said he does this because he doesn't want them to get thrown out. At first I thought it was funny, but now we're completely overrun. We have five complete mannequins around seven half-busts, heads and legs. Three of the mannequins are children, which he dresses in wigs and refuses to let me dress in clothing.

I'm starting to get freaked out. Should I get him to stop? How do I tell him he has a problem? Can I downsize the family without making him mad? That's from Overman and mannequins. I want to take these questions to a reverse order, hit you with the answer to that first one, and it's a big no. You cannot.

They are his mannequin babies and you have to leave them unscathed and unnamed. What if you took one of them away and told them that he had moved out? Like, oh, Derek and I had a big fight and he got his own apartment. The mannequin doesn't live here anymore. I'm sorry. That's a very expensive grift, because then you have to find a very flexible landlord that's willing to rent to you on the cheap to a mannequin.

So your roommate can go visit Derek? Yeah, I got an address. Fuck you, I made it up. Here's an address for him. Go visit them. The credit check was a son of a bitch. Here's the thing, the law of large numbers literally dictates that if you bring home enough mannequins from work,

eventually one of them will be Kim Kattral. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, definitely. So like this, it sounds like they're taking a sort of scattershot approach to acquiring a Kim Kattral, because in the movie, which I have not seen, I think that they just go from store to store until they find a Kim Kattral. Your roommate is taking a weird way of doing it,

just like planting Kim Kattral seeds and hoping one of them blossoms. Okay, but question. Is it going to be Kim Kattral from mannequin, or will it be present day Kim Kattral? I'm not sure I'm ready for all the double entendres that are modern day Kim Kattral. Like she wouldn't be playing her character from Sex and the City. Yeah, but she's a sexual woman. She's an awakened sexual woman, wrote a book about sex and stuff.

Like she's down. I'm not sure I'm ready to be watching whose line is it anyway, to the rebirth and up from behind my shoulder here, like, listen, next time you're at the store, could you bring back some PVC so I can make a donker for this guy next to me? Because she loves the mannequin next to her. She wants some extra PVs. Make it long, too, for his dick.

I need to lay some pipe. If you know what I mean, and then she just sits there. She wants a lot of sex in the city. For like 11 minutes. Oh my god, law of large numbers. If you bring enough back, you're going to get Kim Kattral. If you keep bringing them back, you're going to get Jeff from Today's Special. Oh my god.

It was a mannequin that only comes to life in this Canadian Kids TV show where he puts a magic hat. That's never heard of bobby pins. Never heard of bobby pins. Can't keep that motherfucker on. People always trick it into taking it off and turn it back into a mannequin. People got to say hookers, pokeers. Oh my god, doesn't get that motherfucker back.

But you can finally hook those two up. Yeah. They were meant to be together. Where's my extremely specific shipping? Where is it? Tumblo? Tumblo? Where's my Jeff from Today's Special slash Kim Kattral?

I would like to do a dark reboot of Today's Special where they have to trick him into getting the hat off before the store opens so he doesn't kill everyone that comes in. Yeah, because let's really address the facts if we can. This Today's Special mannequin is a ghost inhabiting the mannequin and the only reason the ghost exists is if they're killed in a terrible passion. That's not accurate. He was turned into a mannequin by a wizard who gave him a magic hat.

Wait, hold on. Was he turned from mannequin to man or man to mannequin? Man mannequin to man. That's why he has to learn so much. He doesn't know how to read and shit. Like he has to learn everything about the world hence the educational portion of the program. So Justin, if I may, if I may ask a disturbing question.

Yeah, he is mannequin. He is hollow as a mannequin. When the hat is placed upon his head as the magic words are said, does he suddenly fill up with organs? That's just horrible. If you turn your TV all the way up, you fucking hear it. And it's like. Listen, if you want a dark reboot, you're going to have to go pretty dark

because you are talking about a newborn fully grown man that spends half of his days in a prison of death. And also the nights when Jody doesn't work. He's also in a prison of death and P.S. If Jody gets fired, he's locked in oblivion forever. So it's already shades of gray, I would say, in this children's selfish program. So I know there's a lot of pressure put on Jody in this scenario.

Yeah. So I know he can't read and every time they take his hat off, he dies. But can he fuck? Hi, it's me. Can't control. Get out of here. Hi, it's me, real mannequin, mannequin. The mannequin from mannequin.

Do you guys want to yahoo? No, I want to talk about today. I want to keep addressing the issues with today's special. The security guard was a puppet. What if they made a sequel to mannequin two called Ramekin? And it was about a little serving dish for a cream brulee. Did it come to life? Did it come to life?

And it was just and it would just be a mouth. No, don't crack it. Oh, Jesus Christ, don't. No, it's so hot. Kill me. Kill me. You're going to blow torch. That's a sad short life right there filled with sweet cream,

blow torched, cracked and eaten. I heard a rumor about a one day old mannequin man that can really just give it to me. I'm a ramekin. Where would it even go? We'll figure it out together. So this director video sequel is voiced by Kim Petrol as well. So that's like.

Yes. It's a crossover between mannequin and look who's talking. Three. Luke is talking three. The babies are all ramekins. There have got to be nights where Jody has to suck the shelves where she thinks to herself like she goes to reach for that. And she's like, you know what?

I just can't tonight. I can't really. I'm actually way behind. I have a lot of shit to do. I cannot spend my night like tutoring this mannequin person. And then okay, but that's mad because the next thing she goes to head on. He's like, Jody, is it Thursday?

Is time to watch survivor? Oh no. Oh God, it's not time to watch survivor. Oh, because you always work Thursdays. Is it Jody? I'm so scared, Jody. Please. A super horned up Kim Petrol just smashes

in through the front window. Like scream. Oh God. See, this is why I don't put the hat on you every day. I work with that. I have to be in touch with the store manager at the Macy's down the street to make sure we don't bring you guys to life at the same time.

They can't breathe. Oh God. They cannot breathe. This is so important. Hey Jeff, listen. Just for me this one time, take the hat off. No, I really can't. I just super duper can't do that.

I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do it, Kimmigan. Please. Love me for who I am. Oh, but how did man? Do you guys want a yahoo? Yeah, for sure.

Got a yahoo here. And this one is sent in by Morgan Davy. Thank you, Morgan Davy. It's by Yahoo Answers user. Vladimir, all caps. Vladimir asks, I invented a bag that serves two main purposes. Would like to pick the name for my project. What do you guys think of name?

50-50 bag. What? Okay, what's about to do? I've really reached down into the depths of the imagosphere and I've pulled out an idea nugget. For a bag that serves two purposes, would like to pick the name for the project. Thinking about going with 50-50 bag.

What could it? It's a bag, Justin. Okay. Yeah, I've had bags. This is you. This is you. Okay. Get bag.

Open bag, fill bag with pencils, close bag. A pencil bag. It's for one purpose. This is my pencil bag. Right. You open up another bag and you put a bunch of Kansas soda pop in it. This is my soda bag. And then this is you going to school.

I have two backpacks, I'm an idiot. Okay. There's no better way, Griffin. Think about your life and think about how inconvenient travel is in your life. And then think about being able to sort of cut your travel weight in half with this totally cool 50-50 bag. Okay. So you're saying it's a bag that I could put more than one different kind of thing in?

It serves two purposes. That's against the law, I thought. But aren't you worried about cross-contamination? I mean, you don't want to put your right Travis. There's certain things that just can't go in the 50-50 bag. Raw meat can't go in the 50-50 bag. No. It simply can't.

Can I tell you guys the secret? Yeah. While Griffin was asking the question, I was distracted thinking about the name Vladimir. And I thought that a really great name for a bong would be Vlad the inhaler. Yeah, that would be a very good name for a bong. You're right, Travis. Normally, I would scold you for such a diversion, but that's an excellent name. No, but you did a great job, Travis.

I hate to lose that to you animals. It was a real, it really got stuck in my brain. And I had to let it freeze so that I could free myself from this brain prison. It's good. Let me posit this. It's a bag that doesn't just store two things because that's fucking crazy. Right? It's a bag that stores things and then does a completely second thing.

So you can put your pencils and soda in it. Yes, of course. I was being silly earlier when I insisted that you needed separate bags for those things. So you can put your soda in your pencils and your pushpops and your diaphragms and all that stuff in them, right? But then there's a second thing that it does. And maybe that second thing is it makes soft serve ice cream or something. It could double as like maybe like a boombox or an umbrella or something practical.

Boombox would seem easy because speakers are like, they'll put speakers in anything today, you know, and Bluetooth, don't get me started. None of us are really sure what it is or what it does. Or how it works. I have that button on my car and sometimes I push it and the word no appears on the car. So I'm still not sure what Bluetooth is or does. But what if the bag could do with two things? So one thing would be I put my stuff in it and I get on the airplane

and then I pick my bag up and I put it on my lap and my bag is a Game Boy Advance. Okay. Okay. What if you're traveling and you put like everybody's got to take a suitcase these days with them on the plane, can't have any liquids in there. Sorry. Or take them out to you and print it on the bag as you get onto the plane. Is your boarding pass.

Your bag can show your boarding pass. It just gets you up on that. That's pretty worthwhile. What if it's a bag and it's also a bong called flat. That's really good. Yeah. It's good. What do you think about that?

And it's just like, you know like a camel back, right? But instead it's like a bong and the tube runs up through the strap of the bag and you just like take a little flatly inhale off of it. So what if you, I'd say bummer that one of the two functions that this Justin Timber like the 5050 experience bag has to have is carrying things. Because that's wasting like one function of what I would like to do. I would rather have a bag in which you could not store things. But it would count as your boarding pass and also you could smoke that good,

good green dust to reduce anxiety on a plane. That's what this thing needs to be. I don't have anything in this bag. However, it is constantly displaying pornography on the outside mesh of the bag and not still images, moving images. Where's that technology? Apple or Google or Amazon. And then the second function that it does is it just like gets you really high very fast.

You know those helmets that have the two beer cans and then you drink from them? Doesn't that seem to be a waste to have both of those be beer? You know what I mean? What if the other one was a waterbomb and then you go to board and they're like time to board group four and you stroll up and you're like, did you say group 420? And then you pound them both at the same time. And they try to stop you. And then you're like show me in a book where this is illegal.

They can't because there's no rule that says I can't have my 420 hat on. Then they have to make one and then we have to stay ahead of the game. I hate drug. I wish it could be just like ranch and buffalo wings. And the buffalo wing straw would have to be very big. Or liquefied. Maybe it's a little blender. Maybe it's a little magic bullet that you put boneless or bonad wings into.

And right before you're ready to consume you just blast them. Yeah. What if you had a bag that was a blender and everything you put into it just got blended together. And then the other and then but it also was constantly displaying pornography. Yes. And boarding passes. And everyone in the pornography has a boarding pass that it's yours. Oh and you could never control if it was going to display a boarding pass or pornography.

It just happened at random and you just had to hope that's the right one. Sir you've been standing here 11 minutes. Just wait a second okay please. It's going to pop up. Where you been going? It's illegal for you to ask me that question. Just sit back and enjoy the show. Can you please not.

I can't hear. They can't hear the dialogue. They can see out. It's one of those bags. Wait hold on. It's a two way pornography screen. Are you guys enjoying this? We're doing this for you.

We don't like this. It's a pornography backpack. Where people can see out and see you through the screen of the pornography. And it's also a jet pack. So I kind of fly around Johnny Appleseed style. But then I don't. There's nothing in it. I can't put anything in the daggone thing.

This daggone thing. There's nothing more unnerving than a two way pornography screen. Even if they played it cool. When you boot up you know there's going to be a reaction like oh there he is. Let's do it. Again? What's up Michael? Back again for more huh?

All right you wild dog. Here's your bespoke pornography. All right Michael looks like you're waiting in line as security checkpoint on an airport. Hi all of Michael's new friends. Hey everybody. Hey everybody this is Michael's thing. We're all going to be characters from Supernatural.

Except we talk with really high pitch voices. That's his thing. Here we go. My partner does a thing where they will sometimes pronounce words in the British way. Even though 99% of the way they speak is with an American accent. But here's the catch. Their mom is British and their dad is American. And they spent most of their time growing up in the US.

But they insist on pronouncing words like herb with a heart H. Looks like did you do that on purpose? Okay it's impossible to like tell whether or not you did that on purpose. I read ahead a little bit with a heart H. I feel unprofessional. I feel like they ought to go all in one way or another. But what do you think?

And that's from going loony in Las Vegas. The great thing about the American language. And by which I meant accent. Is that much like America itself. It's a melange of beautiful dialects. Sure you are. It's why I think it's the most beautiful language. Language of love they say.

The language of love. And the melting pot. What you need to understand is if this person went either 100% American or 100% British, in both cases the things that they said would be completely unintelligible. Because 100% American would just be like and 100% British would just be like. You're just saying return to innocence. And then the 100% British would just be like.

And you need the mix in there. Sure you need the melange. You need the melange or else it's just. The question is the blend. Because if your partner does this. We had some leftovers so we wrapped it up in the aluminum foil. You got to feather the edges. You know what I mean?

But I could see where like if your mom said herb. And then that's the way you heard it. Like you just wanted to say herb. Like that's you're right. Like you could say that right? Like you could. Yeah that's fine right? Yeah.

You could go left. That's what I'm saying. If you're not drawing attention to it. If you're not doing like the I spent a semester in France. And so now I pronounce French words all hoity-toity. Like if you're just saying it because that's how you learned to say it. I think it's okay. 100% French would be like.

Yeah it would sound like someone was waking you up at three in the morning and you had to try to get up before water bed. That's what sounds like a motorcycle in a glass jar. Exactly. I'm not making fun of these languages by the way. New Zealand would be like. I'm just saying you need the other mix in there to produce the fucking consonant noises. It's like music.

When Skrillex if Skrillex just did bass it would be unintelligible. If he just did treble. If he just did jazz trumpet. Hey guys I'm Skrillex. Here's my new song. And I'm just moving in a new direction. It is all treble. It's called keep it easy.

Here we go. Time to well I was going to say rock with this. And here's my new style and it's just all fat bass drops. Oh shit you're all skeletons. How did that happen? So even full bass Skrillex sounds like full treble Skrillex? I thought that was an identity. The band doesn't change.

She's not a bald band. She's a dumb idiot. Of course it wouldn't. Just the music. The one that fucks me up about this is country names. Like imagine when we got we're at Mexico and we're like so how do you say it? And they're like uh mexico and you're like um I don't think so. We're gonna go ahead and get get uh just go full crackers on it.

Go ahead and get that X in there. It's fun. Isn't it mexico? You guys can steal it if you want. No we're good. No we're good like the way we say it. Yeah we're just gonna stick with mego. That's okay.

Which is weird. We have our own name. I've always thought about that when like those countries have their own name but there's English versions of their name. Like we should just say their name the way it's pronounced. That's what I'm saying. That's what yes that is the yeah that's what I'm saying. Who was the person that came up with the different language names for the different places?

Because like Japan is nihon in the Japanese style right? But we just called Japan and who was just like what's this one called? Japan nailed it crushed it next one. Next country. Next country please. Okay this one's Zealand and there's a smaller one next to it. That's New Zealand because I just learned about it. Moving on.

It's new in my idiot brain. It's me. New idiot. Maybe it's punishment for because like we have a lot of people coming from England and like they had so many country names there. Like what's your country called? Uh it's called a lot of things gov. It's like UK and Britain and England.

Get it together guys just pick a name. Some people just call it Europe. Some people call it London which is like buck, buck while but. That's crazy. It's crazy that that's not what the American one like that's that one didn't stick. Your country's called London now because we make the rules. Right charge here. You're called um Tokyo's house because it's where Tokyo lives.

I think we did a pretty good job. It's called Tokyo's book crib and it comes on 8 p.m. every Wednesday. It's just about Tokyo just trying to get by. Just trying to make it. Just trying to find their way. Preview for sneezing too. He gets a baby. And then it's a literal crib.

Oh I see. Yeah it's works on a lot of levels. Uh hey why don't we take a quick break from the fun to visit the money zone. I wish this character that we invented in that last bit could have been on the old where in the world is Carmen Sandiego show to just be like Scotland's hat. What are you talking about? It's Scotland's hat. Africa Island.

Do you mean Madagascar? What are you talking about? The island of Africa. Off it. Off of Africa. Tiny Africa. Our dick. It's Florida.

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It's from Jeremy Quinn and Lonnie. Congratulations on marrying each other. Colton, don't pee in Taylor's closet unless she's into that. Then you keep doing you. Taylor, if you didn't know about that before, you do now have a great marriage. A lot to unpack here. Yeah, but here's what I want to unpack. Their preferred time frame for this message is late July.

We sunk it from downtown. Hell yeah. Great timing, Jeremy Quinn and Lonnie. But that means that this message has been sitting on the shelf for a few months. And at this point, I think Taylor knows all about Colton's dark secret vis-a-vis closet piss. No, we have to assume that they just got married, right? Oh, that's possible. Yeah.

And they didn't, okay. That would be a weird thing otherwise. They're getting married in February, but we want to hold it out a little bit. We want to let it really soak in. You get married on the closet carpet. You're going to get married in February, but we're going to piss shame you late summer. Catch it. Catch the piss shame.

Sweep in the nation. So happy marriage. I want to tell everybody about the Up for Discussion podcast on iTunes and SoundCloud. It is a brilliant audio experience for your ears where a panel of genius babies discuss current affairs, past affairs, pasta affairs, pop culture, rock vultures, and everything important for the whole world, hosted by Tim Blase of Acapella Science and his two-way funnier, but less famous friends, Tom and Simon. That's called Up for Discussion, and it is available on iTunes and also SoundCloud.

I heard that on the new episode, they got Wayne Brady. Damn, that's a big get. But not that Wayne Brady. Okay. Oh, okay. Okay. Wayne S. Brady. Wayne Dwayne Brady.

He does improve, but he's so bad at it. So super bad at it. And so really, this is an intervention that the Up for Discussion podcast has with Wayne the Dwayne Brady. So that's going to be a big episode. Just search iTunes for Up for Discussion, and you can start enjoying it right now. Hey, you work hard. You play harder. You look great, and you smell fantastic.

You deserve a vacation where you can kick back, hone your creativity, enjoy incredible comedy performances, and make some new lifelong friends in a maybe haunted inn in the Poconos Mountains. We've got the Adventure Zone, J.J. Go, Joe Firestone's Friends of Single People, stand up from Aparna Nancherla, Phoebe Robinson, Kevin Avery, Joel Kimbooster, and way more. Join us for Max Funcon East. September 2nd through 4th, there are only 10 rooms left, so head to maxfuncon.com and nail down your tickets today.

Like now, do it. I got a Yahoo here. This one is sent in by Game Recognized, Game Rachel Rose, and thank you, Rachel. It's by Yahoo Answers User Anonymous. We'll call them Evil Wayne. Brady asks, how do they film a movie inside a movie? For example, the movie Scream 3. They were filming a movie inside of the movie called Stab 3, I believe.

God, I hope that's not true. I have not seen the third screen, but I hope they did not film a movie inside of it called Stab 3. Um, I wondered how they do, how do they do that? The house they used in the movie production, Stab 3, was the house from the first Scream franchise. How is it done? Stab 3 returned to Woodsboro, is the name of the film. Fuck, wow, what a bad, wow, what a bad thing.

I mean, Scream 3 seems like a bad title in like a vacuum. To be fair, if I also imagine they were trying to do the bad horror movie in the horror movie thing. But this isn't like a bad campy horror movie. This is like if they called Superman fly. Punch. Punch. Punch flyer.

No, because that's two, that's two verbs. Okay. This is a single one. Hey, have you seen that new movie? Drive. Okay, that works. That's a crash. Flight.

I could go on. So how do they, but it's a good question, I think, because. How do you make the movie, so like you're making a movie, okay? I'm making Tron. Okay. Okay. They don't make a movie in that one. I'm making a movie, right?

I'm making, what's a movie where they make the movie? Oh, it's um. Jay and Silent Bob strike back. Jay and Silent Bob strike back. Yeah. And they're in there and they're telling so many boner jokes and I'm fucking loving it. But then I see them making a movie inside the movie

and I'm like, how did they, how did they do it? How do they do it? It's all about inventing backstory. Because you have to create in, in the world, you have to create a studio that's going to make that movie. You got to create somebody who's the head of that studio. What's his family like? How did he get there?

What led him? Where did he go to school to get his film degree? You know what I mean? And you got to go all the way back or no one's ever going to believe that they're actually making that movie. Okay. Think about this for a second. Here's the weirdest thing about making a movie in a movie, okay?

You have to get other cameras, right? That's fine. That's fine and expected. But like, you're going to have to cast people to be the guy, like, you know, the guy who holds the boom mic is kind of like, you know, I could just be in the movie. We need you to hold the boom mic over the guy holding the boom mic. We need you to hold the boom mic over that guy.

It's like, well, okay, why don't we just trade? Like, I can show him how to hold it and I'll beat it. That's how Craig T. Nelson got his start. Oh, really? Yeah, he was the best boy. And then he was like, what do best boys do? And everybody's like, I don't know. I think it's just like a good luck thing.

And then Craig T. Nelson, who was like 16 at the time, knee-high to a frog, was just like, wait, you're telling me there's a position. Hold on. Everybody stop shooting. Stop production on the movie. Stop the production. Gone with the wind.

Okay. So if I'm to be understood, there's a position. And this is all Craig T. Nelson. There's a position on film production. I guess you do more of a voice. There's a, he's 16. There's a position in film production called Best Boy. And it's just a boy who's very lucky

and they keep him there to ward off evil movie spirits. Yeah, that's right. This place is haunted. Greta Garbo's just up in here haunting the place the fuck up. And you got to keep her away from us, Craig T. Nelson. We think good luck, boy charms. Anyway, to be fair, it did turn out just to be old man, McGillicuddy, who was trying to drive away the movie studio.

So he got to open back up his amusement park. But then he did die and started to haunt the place. And Craig T. Nelson was the only one that could stop him. Anyway, somebody was like, Craig T. Nelson, I love your style and I love your passion. I want you to be in my poltergeist. Didn't that sound happen? And he was like, I don't know.

That sounds like it's going to be a ghostly film. And they're like, yeah, that's exactly why we need you for this. That would be a fun job interview. Like Craig T. Nelson, how can you prove that you're a very lucky boy who is ghostly afraid of? It's like, hey, listen, I'm 60 years old. I haven't gotten killed by a ghost yet. So I got a pretty good tracker to go on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He makes a good point. Those are all the people in the room agreeing. They're also from Australia. That's why they sound like that. Craig T. Nelson is basically a human chain letter. OK. Where if you don't kiss him, you'll die within one day.

Within seven days. If you don't kiss Craig T. Nelson and you see him, but you don't kiss him, it's like not forwarding a chain letter and it's bad, bad luck. Wait, so do you have to keep coming back to kiss him? Or is it just upon seeing him, you have 24 hours to kiss him? Yes, exactly. OK.

Well, you really said the first half of that and then just leapt off the building, huh? Just hoping Edwin would be there to catch you. Oh, I don't know if you're talking to me or Travis. We both said some really dumb shit just then. Here's another question. I'm a rock climber and I got a lot of friends that climb too. Well, they're great friends.

I don't exactly trust them all to belay me. Oh, that means basically catch me if I fall. And just say that. God, these people sometimes. So I think isn't belay where they're on like the other end of the rope? Yeah, so they're like holding the rope that you are hanging from. They're not just standing under you like waiting to catch you. Oh my God, I just I have a bunch of skinny ass little boned friends

that I will absolutely destroy. I just understood like half the lines in Taranova better. Cool. How do I keep my friends? OK, they seem to find it offensive when I tell them I don't want them to belay me. How do I keep my friends without having to worry about getting dropped? And that's from living on the edge and hopefully staying that way. You definitely shouldn't let them belay you after you've offended them

by telling them that you don't want them to. Oh, yeah. No, this is this like this ship is definitely sailed at this point. But if you were to have come to us before, you told all your friends that they're weak, they're fucking so weak. You can't control this. You can't control this rock climbing girth. I'm like a bull running up that mount.

You can't control this funny to me. You went with strength, didn't trust them. And I went with like shady character, didn't trust them. Yeah, like maybe this is like a soap opera scenario where they're trying to like steal your, I don't know, oil drilling empire and maybe also your wife. And so they might let you drop in a climbing accident. But then it turns out that you have steel bones.

So you survive and a witch doctor heals you. But now you're played by a different actor, like that kind of thing. Interesting. You know, I'm surprised you guys don't think reverse psychology is like a pretty good way to go here. Like telling people that they're weak babies and like they could never contain your climbing problem. It seems like a pretty good way to get people to hold on

for the ride of their lives, you know? Yeah, the problem is you can't really test it. You can't be like, hold on, I'm going to jump. We'll see how you do. This will be your test run. Yeah, but that's every person who's ever carried you, right? Like you got to, at some point, it's an act of faith. You got to see, this is why I only make big, strong, dependable friends.

Sure. Yeah. I go out with my friends and people like look at us, like we're shooting the new sequel to Magic Mike all with different actors like Tokyo Drift Style. Because we're just all so big and fucking strong and dependable. They depend, because the two things don't matter without each other. They have to be built like fucking bulls and as dependable as a bull would be.

But in every group group, and there has to be a weakest one. So you have to have to, like they can't all be equally strong. Yeah, that's me. That's obviously me. So then how do you feel when like beefy Greg says like, I don't want Griffin to belay me? I feel fine about that because I'm probably off catching Pokemon. Enjoying some watercress there, which is in the middle.

How do you not understand Travis, that that is the fucking dream scenario for, it's like being in the person in the front of a back massage chain. Like I don't have to hold up these massive fucking beef cakes that I go climb been with and drill climbers really pronounce the B in the middle. They're really in it. Well, you were raised by British people. I think that this is a good point, Griffin, because I think our question asker is I personally,

if my friend said you don't have to do the thing, you don't have to be responsible for my health and well being, you can just like sit there and have a beer. I'd be like, yes, this is exactly what I was hoping you would say. I don't want to be responsible for your life. That is not heat I need. I want to talk about something that is underneath the surface of all this and it'll be a brief diversion, but I do want to touch on it.

And this is the racism. It's a decision to go rock climbing. No, it's a decision to go rock climbing in the first place. Who is looking at the world and thinks, you know what I need from my life, scarier. I would like it to be scarier on a daily basis. I would like it to be scarier and up more. Up more like a high higher. Now if it's like practice, we're like, listen, I'm going to need to get out of here.

I'm going to need to get out here quick. And so the traditional methods of getting out here may not be available to me. I'm into that. That's fine. That I would also allow you if you wanted to start learning how to do the section cup thing with climbing up tall buildings like that. I'm into that too. If it's a method of egress and you're training yourself, that's fine.

But you say you're saying people who look at the Matterhorn are like, I want to fuck that. You're like, I don't want to fuck that. I'd rather not fuck that today, not this juncture. I hate walking up steps for many reasons. One is tiring. And two, if I slip and fall and die on the steps, it's not a good look. But I will say, Justin, there is something about like, if you're going to slip and fall, falling off a mountain, not a bad way to go.

I mean, is at least cooler than falling down steps. Well, yeah, because you deploy that fucking wingsuit on your way down. Hell, yeah. Can you play yourself? Yeah, you can. If you get a rib removed. How about another question? Oh, you like that one?

It's a tasty one. Do the one above the break. Okay, when there is only a little bit of chip dip left from the container, I'll sometimes crush chips up and make it into like a Frito pie. Alternatively, if there are only chip crumbs left, I'll mix them up with a bit of dip. Okay, we're talking. Okay, my wife, I get it. My wife thinks it's disgusting.

Am I good? That's from Munch Squad Goals in West Texas. I do like that it's Munch Squad Goals in West Texas, because this person works at Whataburger and has listened to Munch Squad. And it's like, it's time for me to get bold. It's time for this brand to get bold. Here's my new thing. Dip leave-ins topping for burgers.

Okay, in defense of this person. What else are you supposed to do with the shit you pay for it? It's food. Why wouldn't you consume it? It is food. Ooh, yeah, it's food. It's good mood food. Food.

When you, okay, you get to the bottom of the tortilla chip bag, and it's not just like dust, but the chips are so small that like you can't get a good scoop going. Yeah. What are you supposed to do? I mean, you're supposed to like blast your like proboscis down there and just like sweep up, but that's ghoulish too. I do like that.

Do you guys, hey, do you guys, when you're at the bottom of a pretzel bag, do you guys ever upend it and just like slide the salt way? Oh, just punish yourself. Just huff, huff that sack. Just huff the sack. Oh, this is so upsetting. This question is, I don't know why I did it. I don't think so at all.

You eat it with a spoon. It's like salsa cereal. Oh my God. Holy shit. That's so good. It's gross as fuck. You could have said it. Why is that gross?

You pour milk over your Cheerios. You pour salsa over your chips. Listen, I understand where your mental roadblock is, but ideologically, it's the same thing. Whether you scoop the chip or you eat it with a spoon, it's the same thing. Don't let your old world ideas of how the chip and dip experience is supposed to go

stop you. Like with a spoon, you don't get it all over your finers. You're not going to drop it on your shirt. Your finers? On your finers. You're not going to get it on your shirt. It's going to be a lot smoother of a process with a spoon. I don't know why you're letting your archaic understanding.

That's not going to get on your finers. I've got chips on my finers. I've got chips. You got something on your finers? I've got chip crumbles on my food rags. Young dad, how about you lick those finers at the dinner table? I'll lift my finers stuck in the guacamole until you get so pruny you've got to wipe them off on my food rags.

I've got mole on my finers. Got mole on my finers again. Got my good jersey. I got to wipe the guacamole jersey. Got to dump my finers. Get these finers clean. Okay, so first off, before we wrap up here, we wanted to remind you that we are selling an expansion

to the card game monikers. Not manicers. That's a different thing. It's the card game mannequin. Here's how it works. You collect five mannequins and it happens. You kill your roommate. You have got, as of this, 16 days left to pre-order this

for just $10. And that's it. After you pre-order it, that is all we're doing for the time being. That's all we're planning on doing, I should say. Monikers is a game that's sort of like an elevated form of charades. We've all played it and thought it was hysterical long before we agreed to do this. And so we decided to make our own expansion.

It's based on all the different shows that we make with cards based on every one. Mostly my brother and my brother and me. But there's a lot of general interest cards in there of things that you don't have to listen to the show to get. So if you want to play with other people that you'll be able to, that'll be even easier if you pre-order it with the monikers itself for $35.

And then there's a ton of things that have nothing to do with our dumb show whatsoever. But it's so fun. It is my favorite party game to play. It is a dependable party game that takes what is fun about charades and makes it even better. And it's all about teamwork and memory and just making an ass to yourself.

It's really, really, really great. And we hand wrote the text on all the different cards. And there's going to be art on some of them that should be really cool. And we're super excited about it. And you've only got 16 days. And then that's it. We will not sell them.

We are not selling them as a product afterwards. We're only doing pre-orders. So please, please do not sleep. A portion of sales will go to an organization called Grow, which is based in Huntington. And they're doing urban farming to help people who are in addiction recovery to give them another place to sort of focus their energies.

And it's a really, really cool project. I met with the organizer. And she has really great plans for the place. And we want to do something to help out. So for every one of those you purchase, we're going to donate some money to them, which is a really exciting way to sweeten it for you if you want to get a good vibe from also

getting something fun. So mackleroycollection.com is the address. Go there right now. You've only got 16 days. Don't wait. Don't sleep. You won't forget. Go get it right now.

So as you guys know, we're working on, or maybe don't, but we're doing a TV show with CISO. It's going to be great. My brother, my brother and me all knew a visual element. But we're going to need your help with it. We're going to need some questions from you. We're working on a submission form for that right now. It's going to be online.

So everybody can submit their questions just like you do for the show. So start thinking about your questions. Same rules we do for the show. They need to be concise. They need to be actual requests for advice and not just like, what do you guys think about bread? But like a real thing, we can help you

with something that's actually going on in your life. No bummers. But not so whimsical as to appear silly. And yeah, just. Sorry, what was the last one Travis? Just no whims. Not so whimsical as to appear silly. There are guidelines that I wrote

that you can definitely read once you go to submit your questions. So help steer you there. It'll be better than this. But we don't have a link for that yet. But as soon as we have one, it'll be on our Facebook page and on our Twitter. And then of course, next episode,

when we have a link hopefully by the next week, we'll share it with you. But we just want to give you a heads up. We'll hitch up. We are going to be at Max Funcon East. Are there any tickets left? Don't know. They were just a handful.

There were like nine available on Friday. So they may all be gone. If not, run, do not walk to get these tickets. It may be an active competition. It may be completely over. We're doing, we're not doing a bit there. We're actually doing adventure zone. It's going to be really fun.

The whole fam is coming out. Sydney is going to be doing a class. Is that right? Yeah, she's doing a class that should be really neat, medically related. Cool. That'll be neat. I'll just be walking around looking for ghosts.

Yeah, it'll be a ton of fun. That one takes place in the Adirondacks. Poconos. The Poconos? Yep. Have I been seeing the Adirondacks this whole time? I don't know what either one of them are. So, but I do notice.

This one takes place on the peak of the Matterhorn. It's going to be a really fun time. Yeah, go to maxfuncon.com. You can find out how to get tickets there. We've all got PO boxes, but I wanted to bring it up because I am moving at the end of August. So, from this point forward, don't send stuff to the LA box because I will not be able to get it after August.

I'm moving back to Cincinnati to be closer to my family and such for when our spawn arrives. So, yeah, I'll switch back to a Cincinnati PO box so we can keep that going. But if you've sent something now, I'll still get it. I'll be here for another like six weeks. But in the meantime, go ahead and send it to PO box, 5400 West Virginia 2006, 25706.

Or a PO box, 66639, Austin, Texas, 78766. I don't want to get you there. Don't even worry about it. Don't even worry about it. Well, that one's for Griffin and this one's for me. I have, but anyway, those are PO boxes. Go to maxfuncon.org and you can find all the great shows that are on our podcast network.

Talk about shows like Adam Ruins Everything and One Bad Mother and Jordan Jesse Go and Judge John Hodgman and stop podcasting yourself. They're all so, so great. We have a bunch of other shows. Some of them are in the network. Some of them aren't. You can find all the shows we do at macroyshows.com.

That includes the video projects that we do, like Monster Factory, which Justin and I do for Polygon. You can also find all that PO box info. Travis, have you added my PO box to that website yet? No, not yet. Boy, that would be good to have up on that web address. Just a bad brother. Yeah, you can find out all the stuff we do on macroyshows.com.

We do a ton of shows. So you can find all there. And thanks to John Rodrick and the Long Winters for the use of our theme song. It's a departure off the album, Putting the Days to Bed. Thank you very much, John. And Long Winters. That's going to do it for us, folks.

Thank you so much for listening to our program. Griffin, do you have one more? Actually, can I say one thing before I forget? Yeah. Yeah, I just got to go up to San Diego Comic Con. And I wanted to say thank you to Hank Green, Paul and Storm, Patrick Rothfuss, Adam Savage, all the people at Woodstock, and everybody that I met walking around the convention floor.

I got recognized a couple of times. And it made me feel really special. And I really appreciated it. And everybody was just super nice. And I had a great time. So yeah, I just want to say thank you to everybody while I was thinking about it. Cool.

Thank you, Sandy Dee. And also thank you to Tybee Diskin, my best friend too, I went with. And I wouldn't have been able to go without her. So like, yeah, it was great. OK, finally, this one is sent in by Connor Stuxlager. Um, by the way, the Verizon is apparently about to buy Yahoo for $5 billion. So like a lot of fucking, I hate to drop this energy right at the end of the show,

but there's a lot of things up in the air right now. And just like I could use your thoughts and your prayers and your concern, just like any energy you can sort of channel my way. As I go through what may be a difficult transition, based on what Verizon decides to do, I doubt that anybody would look at the Yahoo Answers product and say, yes, yes, that is the thing I want to invest money in to keep alive. So just like, yeah, thoughts and prayers.

Thank you. Connor Stuxlager sent this one in. It's by Yahoo Answers user Steven R. Who asks, if I ate two Baconators from Wendy's, will I die? My name is Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. I've been my brother more than me.

Kiss your dad's square on lips. Do you want to say that I want to? Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Hi, I'm comedian Emily Heller. And I'm cartoonist Lisa Hanowalt.

And we're the hosts of Baby Geniuses. Do you want to learn weird new facts? Do you like hearing successful creative women talk about their poop? Do you want the scoop on Martha Stewart's pony? If you answered yes to any of these questions, our show is for you. We interview people like Paul if Tompkins. Kristen Schaal. Michael Che.

And more. So check us out on Maximumfun. And let us mess up your brain. Yes, please.