My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 319: Kenny Rogers GameFAQs

Episode Date: September 6, 2016

Everyone loves the song "The Gambler," by songsmith Kenny Rogers -- and if anyone says otherwise, they're a LIAR -- but did you know how many advanced poker strategies are tucked away in the lyrical folds and grooves of that tune? Well, you will know, by the end of this episode. Oh boy, do we make sure of that. Suggested talking points: Trollswatch, Office Zoltar, Now You See Me Swear Scenes, Spooky Commentary, Geolocational Brother Tracking, The Meaning of The Gambler

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother, me and invited from the moderate era, I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle brother, Travis McElroy, and I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. This is the best idea we've ever had. This is a bad idea. Oh no. It's Troll's Watch. Troll's Watch. It dies cast.

You guys have to put your fucking backs into this bit, or I'll say it won't work. That was mostly for Justin. This is solid gold we've got on our hands, all over our hands. It's molten gold on our hands like Johnny Tremaine. Listen, can we- We've got to respect it. Let's be legit here. You see two-hander. Well, who are the two stars in this? Is it some B-movie, Washington?

No, fuck you. It's Anna Kendrick and Justin Timberlake starring in this movie. That's fucking roll gold right there. God, hell yeah, dude. That's Hollywood gold. Anna Kendrick and Justin Timberlake. So you know there's gonna be some singing up in this?

You know there's gonna be at least three to four songs in this movie, Trolls. At least on average 3.5 songs. Justin, engage us in the Trolls watch. Get in on the bit. I'm trying to get in on the bit. You guys are leaving such a little room for me to just like get deep.

What are you most excited about the Trolls movie, Justin? Go. It eventually ends. Well, okay, hold on. I know spoilers, but I heard it's finite. Trolls are back. I heard Dreamworks had developed a sort of procedurally generated movie technology

so you can turn on the Trolls movie and it just goes forever because the movie's making itself as it goes and you kind of follow the Trolls along from their life to their death and then it moves on to new Trolls. Let me talk about some of the other adaptations of Trolls that Trolls has to follow in the footsteps of. One such example is a reskin game

that was originally called Dudes with Attitude that was modified into a game called Trolls on Treasure Island. Instead of just reading this Wikipedia page about Trolls things that there have been, Justin, I want to, this thing's just not, this whole vehicle's just not gonna fucking work. If you personally aren't excited about Trolls, so I want you to tell me about

what your favorite Trolls thing is about Trolls. Mike Mitchell co-directed this film with a person named Walt Dorn. That means Mike Mitchell was looking at the scope of this project of the Alpha Stages and he said, this is too much for one man. I can't handle this.

I cannot steer this ship by myself. Justin. Yep. Tyler McElroy. Yes. What the fuck? I'm not fucking around anymore. Now I'm getting mad.

Mm-mm. What the fuck do you love about Trolls, not the movie, the whole. The very concept. The concept of the Trolls, Justin. And I swear to God, if you tell me one more fact about the Trolls movie that you're just gonna make fun of out of hand before the Trolls movie's out,

I'll quit the podcast. So the stakes are high. What do you love about Trolls? I like that, I bet they all have. Please use love, please use love, please use love. Okay. Please love, Justin. You know the tagline, please love Trolls.

I think that I love something about them that they all have their own sort of quirks. Like you'd think that they'd just all be the same. You like that they're bespoke individuals. But each one has a soul and an individual set of likes, dislikes and allergies that make them a unique creature in the world. I'm not, not, Justin.

I hate the bapoo now that you're finally actually showing some love for the Trolls. It's a pretty big jump to jump straight to them having souls. I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. Listen, I love Trolls as much as the next guy. I love Trolls so much. But I don't know if like Trolls go to heaven, you know?

I'm going to start hitting you Travis. This is a quiz. Please don't. This is invented to build anticipation for Trolls, the movie of Trolls. And I'm just gonna start naming characters and you're going to tell me if they're real. Why does Travis get to do it?

I don't want to do the Trolls quiz. Well, alternate. Well, alternate. And I'll give, I'll give Griffin stars. And he has to tell me if they're real and I'll give Travis Trolls. And you guys have to keep your own score. Good.

Travis. Yes. Doogie. Real. Fake. Fuck. Flincher. Real.

Fake. Okay. Gorge the unkillable. Fake. Now that one is real. And in the movie, it's played by Alfred Molina. DJ Suki. Real.

Yes. Okay, that is a real one. Griffin, are you ready? Uh-huh. I'm pivoting. Okay. I'm pivoting. Steve Buscemi.

Steve Buscemi is a real man in the world, yes. No, is he in the movie or not? Is Steve Buscemi in the movie? I don't know if I'm supposed to know if he's in the movie. Is it not enough that I know that Steve Buscemi is ex-tent? Real. Real.

He's a real man. But I'm saying like, give me, let me know if he's in this fucking movie. I mean, here's the confusion point. Steve Buscemi is just 200 trolls wrapped up in a trench coat. Yes. He's a living troll ball. Is Steve Buscemi the actor playing a character

in the movie? That's a good question. Or does Steve Buscemi as a character appear in it? Is there someone playing Steve Buscemi? Is Steve Buscemi playing Steve Buscemi? No, you're taking too many tries at this sentence, Travis, you just gotta bail on it. I don't know if Steve Buscemi, I don't know if Steve,

sorry, I gotta do the correct Italian pronunciation. I don't know if Steve Buscemi is in trolls, but I do know that trolls is him. Yep. Okay, what about Ron Funches? That's not a real, that's not a real man. I've, I've,

I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've played Overwatch with Ron Funches. I've played Overwatch with Ron Funches, and he's in this fucking movie.

So I'm excited about Ron Funches' participation. As am I about the re, the fucking Cassis movie is amazing. Russell Brand, James Corden, Gwen Stefani. Real, real, real. I've seen her on The Voice, I know she's real. Christine Baransky.

How about it, man? John Cleese taking the very real risk that this will be his last film. Jeffrey Tambor, like they're so Anakindrick, they're so like this. This thing's like a galaxy of stars. The night of sky is dark because all the stars are in trolls.

And that's why I'm so fucking rock hard for it. I am a fucking rod hard. November 4th, I know what you boys are doing on your birthdays and that's getting a fucking, just a troll's load. I'm gonna do my hair up. I'm gonna cosplay. I'm gonna put a little gem in my belly button.

You're gonna remove your genitals completely. I'm gonna remove my genitals. I'm gonna really define my butt crack. The movie has cinematography by Yongduk Jun, according to Wikipedia. So Yongduk Jun, I have one question. Where are these fucking trolls, my dude? Don't hold out on me.

You've been to their home. You filmed them. Where are the trolls, Yong? Where do you think the trolls are, where they live? Where do you think it is? Yong knows. I don't have to envision this. I don't have to imagine near this.

Yong knows. He's cinematographer, but he'll never tell. He'll never tell. I bet it's like Nicaragua. I bet he fell in love with a troll woman there. I bet he married a troll. I bet he couldn't bring the troll back to America. He couldn't bring the troll back to America

because of laws, so instead, Steve Buschimi had to smuggle that his troll wife out of Nicaragua. He made his troll wife Steve Buschimi's heart. I love this movie that we've written, Trolls 2. Hit me up, DreamWorks, we got the sequel already. It's gonna be a multimedia piece with animation, but with real life Buschimi.

Like Osmosis Jones was. One of those. There's a troll skateboarder and it's played by Ricky Dillon. He's a YouTube star. Nice. Nice. Should we do advice?

Hold on, I wanna watch the Trolls trailer. I'll give you a minute-by-minute reactions. Yeah, but Trolls is coming November 4th. November 4th, 2016 to a theater near you. See you there. We'll be there. We'll see you there. We'll be in every theater simultaneously.

We've paid for a hologram of us to be in the front row just like losing it. Losing our fucking minds. Should be good though. Please read a question. I trust Ron Funccus. It seems like it'll be a fun- Yeah, Ron Funccus is my co-pilot, you know what I mean?

That's what it says on all my shirts. Correct. I work in an office and one of my co-workers has a habit that drives me crazy. Every time she walks by the open door of my office, which happens several times per day, she apparently feels the need to peer in, just get a good look at me before I continue out of life.

She only lingers there for about two seconds, never says anything, but it makes me very uncomfortable. Yeah, dog. Is there anything I can say or do to make it clear that this is weirding me out without being mean? That's from a self-conscious intern. The one piece of information we have failed to receive in this question is what look is on her face

when she does this? Is this a look of like, is she perplexed by your presence? Does she look like she's memorizing every detail? Is she amused by you being there working? Like what is, or is she just like, oh, huh, he's still here, and then going on. Huh, still here, huh?

It's just that I just think some people is just being a nosy, rosy Perez. Like some people, there's just nothing you can do about, like they're not checking you out and they're not doing, they're not making eyes at you. They just gotta scope out the scene of the whole office. Is it possible that at one point you did something very cool in there?

Did you at one point do something like so choice, like some sort of, I don't know, what would that be like? Oh, Dan, I was walking, I walked by Mark's office and I looked in the door and he was doing a fuckin' 900 right there. It was amazing. He went off the desk, 900 in the air. He boneless, Christ aired it.

He ordered a 12, a 12 of boneless Jesus with buffalo sauce. It was the tightest shit I ever did see in a nose grind. He did like astral projection and I could see another Mark. There was the Mark, you and I know, and then there was Mark sort of like speed. He was just like flowing. I walked by and dreamed a dream of infinite Mark

and I could see Mark as far as my mind would allow. And ever since that day, I've just craved that high again and Mark has withheld it from me. But one day, I shall catch. Yeah, here's a question. Did your coworker lower their son last night and you're like, oh yeah, okay. I mean, maybe every time this happens,

you can just look at them and go, how am I doing? Or like, what do you think? And maybe just see where they're at. Maybe they're just waiting for you to engage with it. Maybe, ooh, maybe this person really wants to be your friend or like make some kind of connection with you, but they have no, like they don't know how to instigate. And they're like, if I just kind of like make my,

if I put myself out there, they'll take the other half a step towards me, metaphorically speaking, and they'll engage with me, and then we can become friends. Hmm. Or they're gonna kill you. Or they're planning to kill you. It's one of those two.

What's their job? Hey, have you ever clarified what this person's job is? Maybe they're insecure. Do they even work there? Are they in security? Maybe they're just like being very thorough, making sure there's no threats around you. You know, you can, if you're a ninja,

you can be a potted plant, like pretend to be a potted plant very well. The army has all kinds of tech that they know about where they, you can like hide on a brick wall or whatever. Camouflage. That's a good point. Yeah, like they, they're just checking out to make sure you're safe.

You're welcome, by the way. I mean, not that you've ever- Yeah, maybe they were standing around like the water cooler and they heard someone go, you know, I think I'm gonna kill Mark later. And they were like, what? Not today and not tomorrow, but at some point when he leases specs it,

I will be there like a grim specter waiting to gobble up his soul. I hope no one is looking when it happens cause they'll be the only ones able to stop me. I think I know what the situation is. Uh-oh. I think, I think we have a little man situation on our hands.

So the, the, the Wayans Brothers vehicle. Okay. Because in that movie. In that horrible movie. In that horror movie. The very, I'm gonna use this, the Wikipedia description, Calvin, baby face Sims, Marlon Wayans

is a very short convict. He had a jewel heist and hid the gym somewhere that, anyway, the whole thing resulted in him having to pretend to be a baby and Jesus. Problematic. Problematic to the max. But I think what happened here, jewel heist happened.

She had to stash the gyms stones in your office somewhere. And so she always comes in and she's never found a window cause you're always in there. You're a workaholic and a dunkaholic and you're always in there working and dunking. And she always pokes in and she's like,

are my gyms stones still, fuck. Mark's still in here, Mark. I've had to work at this job for like seven months now and I'm getting really good at it. But I need to get in there and get my gyms stones. Is it possible it's a big situation? And she's been made big. She's been made big.

And she thinks that there might be a Zoltar machine in somebody's office, but she's not sure who's. Are you an intern at a Zoltar repair place? Are you yourself Zoltar? Okay, wait. Oh wait, hold on. If you're Zoltar, you have to tell us. Are you Zoltar?

Because if you're Zoltar and your office is a box that is in the hallway, you can't be surprised when this person who has been biged looks at you every day because they're thinking about the decisions they've made if they're ready to go back or if their work on this plane of bigness is done. That is how the movie worked.

He couldn't go back to small until his work was complete. I'm sorry, I can't shrink you again, Tom Hanks. You haven't completed the task I presented you with. Why haven't I shrunk? So, we've considered the little man possibilities and the big possibilities. Is there an average person movie? Maybe it's a meet Dave scenario.

I was thinking meet Dave. Why is that my average size? Because that's about tiny people in a normal sized body. Okay, wait, nope, got it. It's not a meet Dave scenario, it's a Dave scenario, okay? Okay, the sequel to Dave, you've met Dave. No, no, no, it's the one where Kevin Klein is an impersonator.

That's just called Dave still. No, I know, Justin, I know it's a different movie but it's still definitely in the Dave-a-verse, Dave. Okay, so this person is an impersonator of the original person that walked by your office who is currently in a coma in a secret bunker under the building. The very first day, the day before she was emerged

in the coma, she did take a long look at your office. But just like, happenstance, she just happened to do it. But the imposter who is now in her place saw her do it and believes that that's an important part of her everyday ritual. So it is not that the person has anything to gain, they're just trying to complete this illusion so nobody, for the good of the country,

that nobody suspects that that is not actually Susan. It might also be a matrix scenario. Okay, every time you see Susan stop and look, that's actually a weird deja vu moment where something has changed within the matrix. I would suggest checking windows to see if they've become bricked up. Maybe the stairs have elongated is,

I don't know, is there like a guy in sunglasses nearby? Cause if so, do not trust that guy. I haven't seen the matrix in a while. Nobody has. What else happens to that movie? How about a Yahoo? Yeah. This one's sent in by level 9000 Yadru,

Drew Drew Devonport. Thank you, Drew. It's by Yadru Answers user question mark. Only it's not like the question mark that auto fills in when it's like an anonymous user. Like they pick their name and their name is question mark. Great job. Like the word way held in the words question mark

or like the symbol. The Unicode symbol. Anyway, question mark asks, where exactly is the F word in Now You See Me Too? Okay. Yes. Like time code? Or like hidden in the background.

Yeah, I don't think we need to get that specific. Well, I mean, if it's got that PG-13 rating, which I think it does, cause this is a fucking magical family heist that the family can enjoy. And they want to just make sure the kids go get some more goobers during the F word scene. Oh, so this is like a run P kind of scenario

where we need to know like exactly when the F word comes. So you're gonna be like, go get more butter on the popcorn in five, four, three, run, run, run, run, run, run. And then you hear Woody Harrelson like, well fuck. And it's like, no, you weren't fast enough. I told you to run. God damn it.

You fucking idiot kid. Maybe. I've always thought that this must be the hardest part of making a PG-13 movie of like really sitting down, like with the screenwriter and the director and the stars and like very judiciously deciding where you're gonna put the fuck. Yeah, Woody Harrelson opens up the script

for Now You See Me Too and he's like, well, most of this is garbage. And then he waits a bit. And he says, oh, but I get the fuck word. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah. If I'm the one that gets, I thought you were gonna give it to Jesse Eisenberg,

but you gave it to me and I think I earned it. This is my first F word in a movie. I'm really excited to do it. You're not giving it to Little Franco, are you? You're not giving it to the small Franco, are you? Don't give it to Little Franco. Don't give it to, I don't know who else is in my damn movie. Is the Ruffalo Buffalo in this movie?

Don't give it to the Ruffalo Buffalo. I don't think Ruffalo Buffalo made it this time. I don't think he made the cut. Now You See Me Too. He's too busy being that Hulk there in that other movie. Can the Hulk be in our movie? That'd be very good. Is it too late to put, we can't put?

We can put the Ruffalo Buffalo in, but he actually has a clause in his contract that demands he gets the F word in every movie he's in. Can we say it simultaneously? Maybe like we look at each other in some kind of dramatic moment. We both go, oh, fuck. My favorite scene in Now You See Me Too

where Ruffalo Buffalo and William Harrelson look at each other at the same time, and they just go, fuck. And neither one of them wants to be the first one to end it, so it actually goes for like four minutes. It's like, if you had by the end of it. If you had a five minute fuck in your movie, does that still count as one fuck towards the rating?

Yeah. If your movie is just someone saying the word fuck for two hours, but just one, then does it? Yeah, I don't know if that, with one boob out, just one boob out and saying fuck. Like, it's PG-13, they got me. Maybe it's not to send your kids out. Maybe the easier thing is to just wait for the moment

and you kind of like do like they do on TV, but very loud in the theater. So just like when the moment comes, you're just like. Chother, Chother Clucker. Hey, he, weasel lover. He said Chother Clucker, so you're fine. Nothing is bad in this film. You look at me, look at me.

Don't look at the screen. You look at me. We've danced around it though. I am genuinely curious. What, where in now you see me to, now you can see me to, does the. Now you have seen me. Now you've done it.

You can't see me to, I've seen a story. I think it's the one moment when Jesse Eisenberg blows the card trick and he's like, is this your card? And they're like, no, it was actually like the Queen of Spades. And he goes, fuck. That's the one moment. It happens in the first five minutes of the movie.

Why are you concerned about your child learning the fuck word, but not concerned about them learning how to steal with magic? That's, that's not who you want. You're just, you're going down to enjoy E.L. Fudge and you're, you open the package and what comes out doves. What?

Yeah. My child stole the. Delicious chocolate filled doves. My child stole the E.L. Fudge is magic. You open up at E.L. Fudge and all the chocolate creme and side. Guys, we're R rated. You could say E.L.

Fuck, it's okay. We have an explicit tag. It's okay. Hey, I do want to point out, though, please. We have, we have really taken a lot of trips to the cinema in this episode. Huh? Well, it's a very cinema heavy episode.

That's the thing about when you see or get excited about a movie like Trolls. It just kind of sets you on fire for the craft. Where does the effort come in Trolls? Right at the top. At the end after the credits. We're fucking Trolls. At the end after the credits,

Spider-Man drops down and he's like, Fuck. What's up with these fucking Trolls? The movie starts, the movie opens up. Spider-Man away? The movie opens up and it's just a white room and real Justin Timberlake just walks towards the camera and takes him a while to get there.

And finally when he's occupying the whole of the frame, he just leans in close and he just goes, Fuck you. And the movie starts. Did you see Trolls? Yeah, Justin signed on to do the movie to me. He does have this one thing. Alfred Hitchcock goes out.

The story of Trolls. It's a long story. Good evening, fuckers. Fucking goodie. The lion at the beginning. You know, Morgan Freeman is in now, you see me too. Have we ever gotten an effort out of that guy? Because I bet it's really good.

I bet he says it and it like changes the way everybody else says it for the rest of time. Fucking penguins. Am I right? What's their fucking deal? Look at these black and white fuckers. Look at this Wadland motherfucker over here. Look at this fucker just eating a fucking fish.

What's his fucking deal? What's his fucking deal? What's the fucking deal with penguins? I've got to tell you about a motherfucker named Andy Dufresne. And that's what gave Shawshank Redemption. It's our rating. Nope, it was PG-13. He got the only effort.

Get busy living or get busy dying. Fuck. What if he's bad at saying it? And that's why he's never said it in a movie. So he's like, I want to tell you about Andy fucking Dufresne. Can we get another read on that, Mr. Freeman? Yeah, yeah, here it comes. I'd like to tell you about,

you put it in a really weird spot that time. You guys ready for a trash story? Oh shit. My dad. Wait Griffin's gotta do the trash story jingle. Trash story, teach me to find myself. My dad was a garbage man in my hometown of about 2,000 people. There were a number of exciting finds

and obligatory porn slash sex toys. But the coolest thing he ever found was this unmarked VHS tape. It was entirely filled with footage of purported UFOs and commentary from what appears to be some kind of NASA slash military organization. He said he didn't remember whose house he picked it up from, but I'm sure he did.

Don't know what happened to the tape, and I'm almost completely sure that the CAI took it from our movie shelf, and that's from Cole. That was a horrible rescue talk, because there's a lot of, there's a lot of VHS ghosts out there. Like you do not, you absolute, I would say any unmarked, in fact, even marked tapes, that's how they get you.

You throw in, you know, a black diamond, Disney classic, Beauty and the Beast, like here we go, time to get ensorcelled by a story of transformative love. But no, there's a dang ghost in there, and it crawls out of your screen, strangles your dad. Sometimes you get a ghost, sometimes you get a fart touch, and you can never be sure. And I'm not, I know, I'm actually not sure

which one's better. You know, there's a sequel ring coming out? Yeah. I wonder how much of a plot point find of VCRs is gonna be, do you think it's gonna be a plot point? Like, oh, this is very spooky tape. Just hold on a second. I bet.

I'm gonna go out to the storage room. There's one scene where they play it on the VHS, and then they play it on the Blu-ray, and they compare the quality of the ring footage, and like, oh, this is way bad, you can really see. Oh yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna die in like seven minutes. This is great.

This is great, I love this. And in the Blu-ray version, you can see the cords and stuff on the ground that you couldn't normally see otherwise. It's unformat. I bet in a new mood. You know what, it's not actually that scary. Now that I see it this death,

it's actually not that bad. I don't think I'm actually gonna die. Yeah, I just watched, I watched the ring video on Netflix. It was great. I just picked it up whenever I wanted to. I was able to watch the whole thing in one day. It was amazing.

So I tried to watch it with the director's commentary, but the whole time the director just like, it's pretty spooky in there. Mm, this is a spooky scene here coming out. What do you want? Girl, hold on, wait, this is a spooky one. Oh no, look at her. You might not believe this.

It took that little girl a few minutes to climb out of that well, so we just jumped ahead a little bit. She's gonna come up and throttle the life out of you, though, look out. Here you go. Believe it. You see that spooky wave and tree?

You're not gonna believe this, but that was actually my uncle Doug. He wanted to be in a movie and he loaned me the money to make the movie, and I said he could be in a movie. Oh, you're dead. Oh, no, you died before I finished my little speech. I'm gonna keep going.

That's okay, silly. This is flies on a corpse. Pretty spooky. I think it's supposed to represent how life continues and everything's okay. You know, sometimes things happen, but then you gotta look on the bright side and you make flies.

People never finish this movie. If you watch all the way to the end, at the end, Spider-Man comes down. He's just like, brrrrrrck. That was it. That was actually why this did not get water distribution. I did not have the rights for that character. All right, let's get the money to say.

I would like to tell you a true story. Please. As Theresa and I moved across the country, we had to look through our possessions and make a lot of tough choices as to what was going to go into a storage unit and be locked away from us for a month and what we absolutely, positively needed

in Huntington with us for the month of September. And I could tell you, one of the things on the shortlist that was never in doubt is our set of Bull and Branch sheets. This is no exaggeration. We had that ship to Justin so that it got here ahead of us so that we could use them as soon as we got here because we don't wanna sleep on any other sheets except Bull and Branch.

We are sponsored this week by Bull and Branch. Bull and Branch is, they probably make the most comfortable sheets I've ever slept on. Maybe when I was like three, I might have slept on some like, some Smurf sheets that were really great. But I think Bull and Branch probably tops the list. Tell me about their product, Travis.

Well, here's the thing. Griffin, sometimes you go to the store and you're looking at sheets and they're so worried about like thread count. Thread count is not as important as the materials that you put into it. And they keep their prices down because they don't have those like brick and mortar stores

you go to. So you're gonna get like an amazing deal on the best sheets you've ever slept on and you can try it risk-free for 30 nights. And if you don't love it, they'll send, you can send them back for a refund, but you're gonna love it. They're great.

You have nothing to lose. And they don't just do sheets. They do towels. They do duvetes. They do all kinds of stuff. We've been using their towels for the last couple of nights and that one, they're huge, which is always a good thing in a bath towel.

And two, they're super fluffy and comfortable. It makes me feel like I'm staying at the Classiest Hotel in town. And if you wanna check it out, you should go to bolandbranch.com. That's B-O-L-L and branch.com. And they're offering our listeners $50 off their first set of sheets.

Just go to bolandbranch.com and use the promo code, mybrother, all one word and you'll get $50 off your first set of sheets. Do it, you'll love it. Promo code, mybrother, all one word, bolandbranch.com. Go check it out. I wanna tell you about Blue Apron because I fucking love Blue Apron very, very much.

I'm going to be sad traveling and like, I'll be hanging out with my family for a month or whatever and that'll be cool. But I'll miss Blue Apron because I'm leaving, I can't, I'm leaving it behind. Good news Griffin, we're gonna have Blue Apron at my house. So come on over, the cooking's fine. It's only enough for two portions.

Well, my wife won't eat. It seems like a bad arrangement to me. I won't eat. That seems like a better arrangement to me. So what Blue Apron does is they'll just, they'll both just watch you eat. Yeah, that sounds great. And you'll eat a portion fit for a game.

Yay. So for less than 10 bucks a meal, Blue Apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients to make delicious home cooked meals right in your very own kitchen and it teaches you how to cook. You can get to make really, really tasty stuff

like paprika, spiced shrimp and cheddar grits with tomato and sweet corn, spicy hoisin chicken stir fry with baby bok choy and sesame ginger cucumber salad, eggplant and chickpea. I don't even know what this word is. Tajine with islander pepper, tomato and couscous. So many great, great meals that are so tasty.

I love Blue Apron and it's kind of changed the way that I eat food and it has taught me to cook basically starting from nothing. And this is, I mean, I guess it's another pretty good anecdote. I'm traveling for a month and it's like super easy to just like pop in and pop out and like cancel the boxes where you're traveling

and they really don't make a big deal out of it. It's really easy to like get what you want and they have different menus for different dietary preferences and all kinds of good stuff. So you can get your first three meals for free with free shipping. If you go to blueapron.com slash my brother. That's blueapron.com slash my brother.

Blue Apron, a better way to cook. I have a message. Okay, wait, I have two new slogans for both that I've thought up. Okay, great. Okay, you ready? Bowlen branch, holy sheet. Okay, but they have holes in them?

Yeah, that's the first part. Maybe like holy sheet, these are great. And then blue apron, just eat it. Well, you also cook it. You have to cook it. Just eat it. Okay. It's both, okay, get this.

It's both playing off of Nike TMTM and also off of the hit Weird Al Parody. Yeah, yeah, eat it, eat it, eat it. And then you can get Weird Al or John Nike to come in and be your spokesman blue apron or them working together. Travis, I'm glad that you are so invested in our product but we really just brought you on here

for the tagline stuff. So if you do actually suggest who we bring on to market anything from now on, that may be the end of our arrangement. Thank you, I understand. I'm just so excited to finally get to use my advertising degree. Thank you.

Thank you so much. I'm Gregory Blue Apron and I need you to leave my office right now. Okay, thank you very much. I'll let myself just through the door here. Through the water slide. Oh, the one that's smart for bad boys? Yeah, the bad boys side.

Yeah, we actually bought the Blake Check Kids house. That's our office. So anyway, I have the door for good boys but bad boys get wet, so. Okay, tone low, no need to shove me, okay? I'm going, okay, thank you. How did you know it was me as Gregory Blue Apron this whole time?

I knew it was you the whole time, tone low. Just trying to take over the blanks. Okay, I'm going down the water slide now. Bye. I have a personal message here to read on our program and this one comes to us from Ian and Andrew and it is for Becca Mason. And it says, Dr. Reeves.

Okay, it's not a good start, it's not Becca's name. Congratulations on finishing college. Only took a decade. Sorry we couldn't be there to watch it but we're all so proud. Nanoo, nanoo. Timely. Ian and Andrew.

They just started watching work on Monday. Alf, Ian and Andrew. Harry and the Hindersons, the TV show Ian and Andrew. Well, you know how Alf would always, his catchphrase was just he would shout his own name. I love cats, Alf. He would also quote himself and it doesn't matter. Congratulations, Dr. Reeves.

Very proud of you. It's a lot of schooling to ingest but you've really done it now. And now no more teachers, no more books or dirty looks. Time to fucking party. I want to read the other one too, if I could. It's for Zayn and it's from Radja. And it says this, hey Zayn, look behind the couch.

Okay, now I suggest that we take this and do a couple of different readings of it. Justin, could you give me like? Yeah, okay, let me try one, let me try one. Okay. Hey Zayn, look behind the couch. And it's like, there's a mummy back. I think I saw a mummy, Zayn, can you check it?

Can I try one here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Hey Zayn, look behind the couch. Now I changed the punctuation a little bit there but I wanted to add some urgency to it. As though like, every time Zayn turns around the thing behind the couch ducks down

and Zayn's like, there's nothing there, I told you, Radja. Like every time. Sorry, I know I'm going out of order here but I would like to just try one more real quick. Okay. Hey Zayn, look behind the couch. So that was like Borat. Na-nu-na-nu.

Na-nu-na-nu, my Zayn. Kind of a Borat thing. So he did a Borat. On that one was kind of a Borat to voice. I would love to hear Morgan Freeman do a Borat joke sometime. And one of his- I'm dancing the dance from Napoleon Dynamite.

In one of his- In one of his movies. One thing that I wanted to mention here, it did say as close to September 3rd as possible. So let's hope it's not a puppy. Yeah. Or a clown that you paid by the hour. Yeah, cause that's going to be expensive and dead.

I'm Jesse Thorne and I'm curious about Jonathan Van Ness and his show, Getting Curious. What were you most excited to learn something about? I was really excited about the Roman offs. I was really excited. Why were you so excited about the Roman offs? Well, cause I've been obsessed with things for listening to the episode.

I'm just kidding. Because I've been obsessed with them since I was 11 from the movie Anastasia. Jonathan, what's a baby brain? It's a brain that's finally ready to explore. Getting curious, a show for your baby brain. Download it wherever you get podcasts. Tonight, we're at a very nice bar.

And at that bar, we met some very kind people who we suspect paid our bill. We're not sure if it was them. Should we thank them anyway? What do we do about this mystery bar tab? What is appropriate to tip? Do we tip the people who we suspect paid our tab? What do we tip the bartenders

who we do not suspect paid our tab? That's from Helpless. I'm Seattle. I'm not sure they meant that, but let's go with that. Cause I think this may be written to us after a night of, maybe on the night of the bar tab. But it sounds from the tenor of the email like it was a considerable night of drinking as well.

Now, I do want to make clear here because they did not include in the text, like in the body, but in the subject line that it was their birthday. It was like after a birthday night out or something was the subject line. So they met these people at the bar on their birthday, not just like a random night out at a bar. Then yeah, they probably paid your birthday tab.

Did you just walk out of the bar and think, I bet they paid our tab. Cause that's so weird, no one stopped us. I guess someone paid our tab. Someone paid it. Well, the bouncer said, the bouncer said have a good night. I guess we were square.

Okay, I've been in this position before though, where someone was like, oh, you're all set. You're good to go. And like you don't want to question it too much because like you don't want to like spoil the managing. But at the same time, like if these like random new friends paid your bar tab, you want to say thank you. Like picture, hey, I just want to say thank you

for paying our tab. What? We didn't, like that, I cannot, especially if you're drunk, I cannot imagine a more awkward like bar interaction than thanking someone for that. See, I think- Well, there's probably worse. I think you should definitely get

to like the bottom of the situation. Like you need to know, it's important that you know. Otherwise you owe them a life debt. But some people though, some people just love lording that shit over you. Like for some people, like it is worth the price of paying your bar tab if they get to sort of immerse you in a pool of your own confusion.

Oh, is this like one of those like internet, you know, things that you'll see on Facebook where it's like the young couple, the older couple pays for their meal and leaves them like a note. It's like when we were a young couple, we also ate a hamburger. And somebody paid for our hamburger.

So now you are like, you are burdened with this generosity burden. And now you have to go to a bar and meet a random stranger on their birthday. And if you don't in seven weeks, really bad stuff will happen. Yeah, then the VHS tape explodes and you, the girl comes out.

I think it's more like just they wanna confuse you and shroud you in mystery and just know that that torment is worth it. Dad kind of did me dirty like this yesterday because we all left Max Funk on East yesterday. And Rachel and I had like three hours to kill before our flight. And so we went to this outlet mall and dad texted us

as we were on our way back to the airport from the outlet mall. And he was like, did Rachel find anything at the outlet mall? And I was like, what the fuck? What the fuck? Like how do you, how do you, how would you know that? Like why are you, how would you know that?

Were you at the outlet mall just like creeping on you? You didn't say, turns out that he used Travis's phone because we have the like find my friend feature turned on for each other and just kind of scoped my scene out through the phone. And then like just let me know that he knew exactly where I was at that moment. And I said, well, that's not creepy at all.

And really, I'm just bringing this up because boys, we need to have a talk about why, when is right to use the feature of tracking the fucking geolocation position of my brother? I use, Griffin, I used it to know that Justin in the eight hour drive up stopped at two different sheets. So like, that's what I used him for.

That tells me that there was a sort of ongoing surveillance of Justin's whereabouts happening. Yeah, you can't set a notification like alert me when he stops at his sheets. Hey phone. Siri. Siri, please let me know anytime Justin checks out his sheet.

That would require like more or less constant marketing. Like, did you have a lab in the back seat where you were? I had the boys down in the lab working on it. This is only to be used if I end up in somebody's cellar somewhere, not if you're just fucking bored and you wanna see if I'm at J Crew, okay? That's the, I'll fucking remove,

if it happens again, I'll remove it from my phone because this is a huge invasion of privacy. I was at J Crew and I was buying some slacks for the show. I was buying my show slacks. There, there. It actually popped up as a notification actually that you were buying show slacks. It's strangely specific.

It'll let me know that Justin was getting a double chocolate bar and a cheer wine and that Griffin was buying show slacks. I hate every second of this. Please don't creep on my loc. I have had the actual thought before another night at home huh guys? You guys should really get out there more.

I wanna text them and tell them they should go out somewhere cause I'm tracking you. Cause I'm just curious how you're doing sometimes, you know? How you doing? What are you up to? I'm actually, I'm feeding my phone through, it's, I've got a backup secret phone. Yeah, I've got a shadow proxy

that's bouncing off in Belarus. Ah, Griffin's in Belarus. Cool. Belarus again, huh, Griffin? Wow, wow. You sure get over there a lot. Do you guys wanna Yahoo? Yes, please.

Yes. Just wanna send them by Morgan Davy. Keep it wavy, Morgan Davy. It's pretty good. It's by Yahoo Answers user. Sorry, something's gone wrong. I wanna call them. Burger Man asks,

what is the meaning of the, oh man, sorry. What is the meaning of the gambler by Kenny Rogers? God man, you tell me. I heard the song on the way home from dinner last night. We all argued on what the song was really written about. I would like to know your views. I personally think it's about women. My son believes it's about poker.

My wife says, my wife says it's about life. My son is very literal. My wife says it's about life. I can find anyone on the web where people have debated this topic. Okay? Little known fact, it's about origami. Maybe y'all can help me, thanks CB.

So I guess this is by Charles Bradshaw. What do you guys think it's about? I, here's the thing. A lot of people read too much into this. I think I'm gonna go with the sun. And I think it's just like a song all about high level poker strategies. Well, I tell you, here's the thing.

I think you're right on one level. But on another level, it's also about a song where someone dies in the middle of the song. It's, and very often that portion of the song is kind of glazed over, but there's a death in the middle of this song that everyone sings all the time. Okay, here's what happens in the gambler. If you're looking for the little story of the gambler,

there's two men on a train. One man looks at the other man and says, hey, you're looking pretty rough and run down. Like you don't look great. But if you let me, if you give me some whiskey, I will give you the answers that will help turn this around for you. And he's like, mm, okay, here's some whiskey.

So he, he drinks some whiskey and he says, play poker well. Some, every hand can win, every hand can lose. And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep. And he's like winks and then he dies in his sleep. It was the most object lesson any teacher has ever taught. Watch, the best he ever has died in his sleep, like this. Allow me, watch me do it.

Allow me to demonstrate. And then there's a sequel called the gambler two, which is like, can I get some help in here? There's a dead old man in this drink. There's a dead old man in your, I gave him the wrong bottle. So let me, I forgot I had this, I forgot I had this pin cleaner with me.

So let me get this straight tough guy. You're sitting there with the man. The last thing he ever does is drink from a bottle you gave him and then he just dies just like that. Right after he says you should die in your sleep, he dies in his sleep. You really suspect us to believe that? You're going to shit.

You gotta believe me. It was a beautiful moment. And he told me that you got no one to hold them and no one to fold them. And I think he was talking about more than poker. And then he dodged and then he died in his sleep. But I still had to get to Philadelphia. So we sat on that train for a while longer.

Cause you can't just like stop a train at a hospital. How asleep does an old man have to be if he drifts off mid metaphor? And it's just like, I'm in it. Like how long are you in that car before you're like, I'm going to check this stranger's pulse. Like this has got, excuse me, is there more? I gave you a taste of my whiskey.

Excuse me, is there more to your advice? The best that I could hope for is die in my sleep. Fuck you old man. What about like, you know, being happy and like making friends and shit at the old man, like wake back up and be like, just kidding. Follow your dreams. One more thing, just one more thing.

Sorry, I always forgot. When I met, when I said die in your sleep, what I meant was wake up and have a great breakfast and maybe face a new day. One other thing, try keep your money in low risk mutual funds for, you know, and leave them in there because you're just going to get hit with interest.

But also do die in your sleep. Bye. Tell your friends and family you love them as often as you can. And just remember like, you know, every day is an opportunity. And also like, die in your sleep, I guess. Listen, all of this is- Hey old man, are you okay?

Like, are you, hey, I know you were talking about I seem run down. I'm now worried about you. Are you all right? Cause all you want is my booze and to die. Are you okay? Are you cool? Listen, son, I could see you're having a rough time.

I've got things all figured out. Let me see what I can help. Do, do book her good or do book her bad. Either way, die in your sleep. Bye. Okay, bye. You can have whatever is in my bags. Bye.

My life is your life now. You know what I said, taste of your whiskey. Did this old man just up in the bottle? I'm gonna kill myself with whiskey now. Good night. Okay, bye. Or the whiskey was poisoned. That's what I'm saying.

This song is a song about killing a gambler. And then I realized that I was the greatest gambler cause the old greatest gambler died and now I was the best gambler. It's all right. Then I felt quickening and his gambling skill jumped into me cause this is the way that gambling works.

No one will ever admit it. I'm wearing all his rings and I stole his identity. I couldn't make that fit. I had to do a lie. This has been the plot to now you see me three. Fuck. Listen, all of this happens in the song, the gambler,

but it's all really lessons about being good at poker because not a lot of people know this, but most of Kenny Rogers songs are just kind of walkthroughs for various games. So he has that one called Ocarina of Time and it's like, gotta go to Kakariko village and race against Dompe, get yourself the hook shot to get in the forest temple.

Don't ever keep a night on the side of the board. They're much better pieces when they're active in the center. That's actually, I was watching the World Series of Poker once and Phil Mickelson was down and everybody was like, whoa, what's he gonna do? Like, he's clearly beat and like they had already gone all in,

turned the card over and he died in his sleep and won automatically. And everybody was blown away cause they'd never seen that maneuver before. And then they checked his lock event and he was just listening to the gambler and repeat and they're like, holy shit, he's a genius. That's sort of a weird through line

through all of Mr. Rogers songs. It's like, scoop up the fish, go to Jabu Jabu, die in your sleep. Wait, why are you, I was just trying to get the spiritual stone of water. This is a pro strat run through. If you're trying to get a hundred percent, also you gotta die in your sleep.

Well, that just can't, when you knock the painting over to the other people in 13 dead end drive, then you go to sleep and you die and then everybody died. And Nathan and his brother, they're searching for the treasure. You gotta jump on the cliff and then you die in your sleep. Love it, hold on.

Love it, love it, she hates how to knock her until she learns boo-foo. Use it in boss fights. Die in your sleep. That's just when he gets fucked in the game. I don't know what to do next. You gotta be a glitch. Maybe die in your sleep.

I mean, you will have finished the game in a very literal sense. You only made it to level two Crash Bandicoot. What are you talking about? Yeah, but like sometimes the big giant thing rolls against you and the best thing you can do is to die in your sleep. Other people have beat Crash Bandicoot, Kenny Rogers.

Sometimes the groove's gonna get you, but you check the mailbox earlier and then die in your sleep. You made it 30 seconds so far. You go west and then you go north. Use key on door and if that doesn't work, die in your sleep. Make, no, come on, we just started Zork.

Make the bricks line up and make them disappear. Oops, you gotta stack, go in, die in your sleep. This has been our show, My Brother, My Brother, Me. We hope you've enjoyed yourself for this very cinema-heavy episode, kind of a cinema-themed, a cinnabon of an episode. We wanted to mention we are doing a fundraiser

that has been so wonderfully successful for another show, The Adventure Zone. We're not actually doing it. We gave our blessing to this wonderful project. It's called The Adventure Zine. If you go to theadventurezine.com, you can pre-order an art book that has so many incredible artists.

These artists and the organizers of this project through their generosity have raised over $90,000 for this project. Jesus, that's insane. It's 306% of the goal. All the profits from the book are gonna go to the Facing Hunger Food Bank, which is a food bank here in the Huntington,

West Virginia Tri-State area. So we're hugely excited about this project. Again, it's not our baby. We've put a laughable amount of work into making this successful, but a lot of really good, hardworking people are doing just that. We're extremely appreciative.

So theadventurezine.com, go pre-order that. I'm not actually sure how long the campaign goes. Do you guys have any idea how long they're gonna be accepting? But just assume it ends tomorrow and go do it now. Like, what are you waiting on? They've been slowly leaking out some of the previews of the art.

It's fucking great. It's gonna be stunning. A couple of things. I wanna say, as long as we're talking about people putting in a lot of hard work to make something awesome, we just got back from Max Funk on East, and it was incredible. Not only was it a great time,

everybody, all the attendees were wonderful. We did an adventure zone, and a bunch of people showed up in cosplay, and it was very wonderful. We're gonna be publishing that. Tiny black hearts. We're gonna be publishing that adventure zone this winter sometime,

once Travis and I have the babies and are gonna take some time off from, we need to figure out, by the way, boys, what we're doing with my BimBam during that period. Unless we start cranking them out, but I don't know. I mean, last time we had a parental leave, was just when you left, and that's when we fucking launched adventure zone.

Can you believe that shit? Who knows what's coming out now? Yeah, who knows what podcasts we're gonna start while Travis and I are gone. That's how we do it. We have babies, and we take some time off, and during that time off, we give ourselves a lot more obligations

for when we come back. I think we should just do a full episode of Smart Stuff. I think that's what we should release. That would be so good, but that's just you and Roman. Yeah, just me and Roman. That way you guys could do your own thing, and Roman and I, Roman, if you're listening to this, get at me, Justin at teamgoogle.com.

You also know how to DM me and shit, but let's do this, Roman. Speaking of more obligation, we also, this week, are going to start working, like really working, full boiler, into the My Brother, My Brother Me TV show. Yes. So we will try to remain on a regular release schedule,

but if we... No, we will. We are working with somebody who's going to help us edit and get the podcast up. I think the result for you, the end result for you, the user, I think Mbam Bams are probably gonna go up a little bit later on Mondays. Then you're used to, probably not Monday mornings.

Probably closer to Monday afternoon, maybe even evening, depending on how crazy things are for us that any given day. But that'll just be for a few weeks, and then things will calm down again. But yeah, just bear with us. We are so fucking excited to make this TV show. It has gotten to a point where I was so scared

to make a TV show, because we never do on-camera stuff ever, and all of that has just been replaced with excitement, because the ideas for the show are just so good, y'all. It's gonna be so, so good. And if you keep an eye on our Twitter and the Facebook group and stuff, we'll post some pictures from the set.

You know on CISO now? That's where it's gonna be. CISO is a TV comedy subscription service from NBC with a bunch of original programs. There's also stuff like Saturday Night Live and Kids in the Hall is all on there. But there's original shows that people are putting together. You gotta watch Take My Wife on CISO.

Oh, so good. Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher's show. It's fucking phenomenal. So like go get on it now and watch that and then watch our show when it comes out early next year. So one last thing, we're doing a candlelight show. In case you missed the announcement last week, tickets are currently on sale.

As of yesterday, there were like a hundred left or something. So don't wait. September 30th in Huntington, West Virginia, and we're gonna be filming maybe not the whole thing, but like clips and bits for the TV show. So it's gonna be some of our best poofs and poofs and all the bloofs. It's gonna be great.

So it's gonna be an extra special candlelight special. September 30th in Huntington, you can go to candlelight2016.bpt, brown paper tickets, bpt.me. Get the tickets now, come down, hanging out with us. And it's not just my brother, my brother, me. It's gonna be my brother, my brother, me, Saul Bones, Schmanners, and still buffering.

So it's gonna be really huge for 20 bucks. It's actually 21, because $1 from every sale is going to branches, the domestic violence shelter here in Huntington. So you're buying a ticket and you're doing a little bit of good. Come down to the show and hang out with us.

All right. Thanks to John Rodger and the Long Winters for the use of our theme song and to departure off the album, Putting the Days to Bed. Thanks to Maximum Fun for having us. You can go to maximumfun.org and find all kinds of great podcasts there. And if you wanna hear other podcasts from us,

it's all at macroyshows.com. All of our video and Twitter stuff is there too. Okay. Final Yahoo. This one was sent in by Seymour Funk. And I don't know if that's a real name or not, gang. But I want it to be so badly. There's a fun progressive ad at the top of the screen

with Flo and she's poking her head in like, hey, what's up? Okay. All right. It's from Yahoo Answers user, Beymour, who asks, is it soup weather yet? I think it was just a macaroni. I'm Travis McRoy.

I'm Griffin McRoy. It's been my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad's square on the lips. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Attention Europe.

This fall, Maximumfun is bringing a bunch of your favorite podcasters to London. Catch Judge John Hodgman, International Waters and Bullseye, all recording live episodes at the London Podcast Festival. We'll have fan meetups and we'll be joined on stage by a glittering array of celebrity guests. The London Podcast Festival runs September 22nd through 26th and you can buy your tickets right now.

Just go to Maximumfun.org.