My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 322: “Margaret, It Happened Again!”

Episode Date: September 27, 2016

This is the last episode the three of us had to record all in the same room, and boy, you can just hear the elation in our voices. Gaze into the mirror with us, as we peer into the Equestriverse and see which celebrities are trapped within! Suggested talking points: Vape Update, Glass Half Full, Roller Coaster Health, A Little Bit of Bike Theft, The Horse World, Genuine Cheese Crust, Crumbsavers

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, mean advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother. Crack that beverage, baby, Griffin McElroy. The energy in the studio is alive and electric. Cracklin, cracklin, cracklin. Bazinga, this energy's good. Cracklin,

oat brand, the energy bouncing from Justin and me, me to Justin. Welcome to the zeitgeist, folks. We have, we are just riding a cultural wave right now, thanks to our hot new party game, Which One Vapes. As you know, we, we invented this hit party game accidentally last week, and it has taken on a, a life of its own created by Auburn Wood, who actually went through and made the, the, to our, almost to our exact specifications. Yeah, this is, this is well tailored. My only regret about the whole thing is that we've got this just tidal wave of fun game that we did not think of any way to like monetize. It's a gift. It's a gift. We'll come up with another one next time. Wait, Jay Alexander or David Letterman? Ms. Jay or Mr. D? Damn. Damn,

you know, Ms. Jay's got like some, a, a fashionable rig. It's like a, it's like a cane, like a fashionable cane that Ms. Jay lifts up to those lips and then vape juice comes out. Here's what I'm going to give you guys. Please. This is created, it is like not, not, this is a scientific process. And I have proof because I have leaderboards here, the least likely and most likely to vape. Let me go through the least likely to vape first. Oh, excellent. Starting from number six and going back. And I, we promised we weren't going to talk about vaping this episode as much as we did last time. Yeah, but I, this is a cultural zeitgeist. The Daily Dot said that this is an important website. Very important. It's been sent to the Lord's work. It's been sent to

the library of Congress. So here we go. Number six, Michelle Obama. Yeah. Definitely not vaping. Like, yeah. So she's the least, least, least, least, least likely to vape. She's not the most least likely to vape. Okay. Number five, Vanessa Redgrave. Yes. Okay. For Bruce Lee, fair. Yeah. Number three, Joan Plowright. Okay. All right. Number two, Kate Bach coming in at number one, most human being, most least likely to vape, most, no. Okay. Number one, least likely to vape, Dorothy Danridge. Okay. Accurate. Okay. Now, here's our top six going to number one. Hey, number one, most likely to vape. Justin, wouldn't let us look at this beforehand because this is, this is proving to me that this is a scientifically accurate process. Okay. Number six, Jared Leto.

Yes. Maybe even should be higher. Well, I don't know. Let's see. Okay. Okay. Okay. There might be some superstars up on top. Hang on. Hang on. Number five, Dean Cook. Yes. Holy shit. So good. Number four, Johnny Depp. Wow. Oh my God. These are very good. Number three, Shia LaBos. Yes. I'm not sure about that one. I feel like he's ranking a bit high there. Yeah. I feel like maybe. Number two is Macklemore. Yes. And number one, John Leguizano, of course. No. Number one is Chris Angel. Oh, holy shit. He does, he probably has literal vape magic tricks. He probably vapes, and like, there's no vape rig around him. He's like, how did you do that? And he's just like, mind-free. I don't want our, I don't want our vaping listeners because I know there's a contingent

of them to feel like we are, we are in any way marginalizing you. There is not a stigma attack. I don't have a word to attach to this stigma because I don't necessarily dislike. I don't think there's a stigma. You know, these people, I'm just like, yeah, that's right. I don't think we are either pro or against so much as we're just like, this is a thing that's going on. Sorry, boys. I didn't understand what you were talking about. I'm very much against these, these people who. Oh, not those people. I'm talking about they. Say for Shia. I think it's time for Shia to like find his way back. Um, I, but I don't, I don't want our, I don't want our, uh, I don't want our vaping listeners to feel like we're like picking on them or making fun of them. That's not accurate. Where's, where's

our ranking? Cause I know we're in the mix and then there's a special section that is brothers most to least likely to vape. Number three, Justin McRoy, number two, Travis McRoy, number one, really most likely to vape Griffin McRoy. I would think I was least likely to vape. Here's the thing. I do talk about cotton and rib. I know the most terminology. You do do a lot of that. That's just, I'm an admirer of the tumblr scene. You're more fanatic than you are. Like, if you knew a lot about baseball, that doesn't mean you're most likely to play baseball. That's true. That's just means you follow the sport. So anyway, we low lung capacity. So not built for the stuff. So anyway, whichonevapes.com is that one?

Which one vape? Oh, you've got the actual redirect. I booked it last time and now the redirect is working. So whichonevapes.com. Shout out to Auburn. Uh, is that, that, that Auburn, uh, pulled down the URL, whichonevap.es, which is good. Very good too. But now the redirect is working. Gene Hagen versus Margot Robbie. Oh, I don't think Margot. Yeah, I wouldn't think so. I actually think it's Margot Robbie. Okay. Um, so, and I, there's some odd ones in there for some reason. Amaco shark is one of the options that people have popped up. Anyway, this is our last episode that we're recording altogether before we wrap on the show this Friday with the Canonite show, which I'm excited to see everybody at. I'm going to be a big fun crowd. And then

next week, back to remote, back to the distance. I've grown so used to recording with you guys in the same room. I don't know how I'll return to the comfort of not having to stare at your faces. It's going to be real good. We'll figure it out. Um, but anyway, thanks for hanging in with us. And we love you all, uh, very much. And now it is time to do what we get paid to do. The, the, the, what brought us here. It is time to dance with who brung you. Advice. Advice brung us. Advice brung us. And now we're bringing advice. Here it comes. I love my fiance and we've lived together for almost three years. However, she has one annoying habit. She always drinks only two thirds of a glass of water and then just leaves the still

partially full cup behind. I keep asking her to either finish them or take them to the kitchen to be washed, but she insists she may want to finish it later. Nonsense. So my question is this, how do I get her to clean up her mess? Or should I be concerned about an upcoming invasion of earth by aliens who skin is burned by water? That's from terribly vexed and tarot. Yeah. I mean, it's got amoebas in it. Yeah, it's kind of, that's what the girl in the house says. There's an important question here, which is, has, is there any frequency at which she does actually ever pick up old glasses and drink out of them? Or does she just constantly say, I may want to finish it later? Yeah, is there any evidence to support this all finish it later

theory? I don't know. I'm, why are you looking at me? I didn't ask the question. Answer a fucking question, Justin. What are you hiding, Justin? Follow the money. I don't, I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't think so. I think if she was cleaning up after herself, this would be a quite the odd question. Also, no one has ever looked at, no one has ever been thirsty and looked at a third cup of anything and thought, hmm, yeah. Age to perfection. You never like in an ad for Pepsi, you never see somebody just pick up a one third full cup of flat Pepsi and the taste of the next generation. What's the, what's the tipping point for water? Cause there's definitely, I have a glass of water at my bedside every night and my, my bedtime routine is make a pee pee, brush my

teeth first, and then get a new glass of water. Cause I won't drink that old shit. Here's an old glass of water. Here's an old glass. There's literally two in reach. Yeah. What's the tipping point? Like how many hours old does it, and what's getting in there to make it taste so weird? Because it does taste weird. You know Griffin, for me, it's a sliding scale. I can put my finger on it, but the answer for me is, if I can't remember when I put it down, it's too old. Cause you, at that point, who put it down? Exactly. Because that's the thing. I don't know why my fear with old water is always, did someone else perhaps touch this? That's why I put, that's why I put ice cubes in my drink. Not because I like the coolness of it, but because ice cubes are like,

hey, this, this shit's still good to go. Listen, this is weird to me because if I screw up my courage enough to actually drink just plain water, I get the cup, I fill it with some water. I drink it so much that I'm going to put the cup back right away. I don't carry water with me. That's a lie. Cause I've noticed you have a fun little blue bottle and it's like your water friend. Well, that's a water bottle. That's different. Yeah. But like you just lied to us. Oh, that's a good solution though. Get some sort of like one of those like aluminum bottle buddies for your girlfriend and be like, okay, great. This you can seal back up and then actually drink later. I know what you're saying. Yeah. Get her a helmet with slots for two cups on it.

Exactly. And straws that come down from them and she can just like slurp all they love. And that's fun too. Cause you can decorate it to be like her favorite pro, uh, you know, sports wrestler, pro wrestler. Like maybe you put some horns on there, like a big mohawk. That's fun. That's fun. That's fun. And that's what you guys stay hydrated and you guys stay fun with it. That's right. That's what relationships are really about forcing your partner to drink in the way that you are most comfortable. Exactly. Just shaping them to be more what you think they should be. What's up with water though? Cause I'll never leave a third of a cup of diet. Dr. Pepper sitting around. That's diet. Dr. Pepper has been cleaning up after you for two

weeks. I'm going to go ahead and say this. It's good. It's good to go. That's Dr. That's diet. Dr. Pepper. I would never leave a soldier behind like that. Water. I can get you out of the same room that the toilet's in water. That's what you are to me. If you think about it, it's completely nonsensical to worry about a glass of water sitting out in the air because like that's the same air you're breathing. It's not unlike, it's different except in one circumstance. If it's under a ceiling fan, cause everything's coming off that fan. Yeah, that's it. Everything's coming off that fan. Let's establish some danger zones. Now Justin just spilled some monster energy drink on himself. Under the ceiling fan. Can't drink that water ever again.

There's a lot of bad stuff in there. Under the air conditioning vent. I don't know who's up there or what they're doing. Other places. If I enter the bathroom with a cup of water, that's where that lives now because the bathroom air is bad. Kitchen. I don't know. Chicken particles could be floating around in there. Salmonella. Can't have the water around there. This might just be very localized to me, but if I see my cat within 30 feet of it, I can't trust it because my cat will shove her whole face into a glass to get a little sip of water from my water. Why does the water taste different though? What's getting in there to make it taste so bad? Fluoride. The fluoride's in it before it starts. But then it controls your mind and tells you

it tastes bad so you drink more so you get the water pressures up. Follow the money. Is it dust? Is it just dust particles? I'm breathing it all the time. Here. I'm not tasting the bad taste in my mouth from the air. Griffin, perhaps your supposition is incorrect. It's not what's getting into the water, but rather what is leaving the water. All the good flavor is evaporating out as it sits in the open air. This is all perspective though. Did you ever have friends in school where the one they showed up and they had a smell? Like that was just like what their house smelled like. Yeah. You knew that like something you'd left some clothes there because they would have that person's house smell. But nobody knows their own house smell. That's true. I worry about that

all the time. Yeah. Like go away from your house for two weeks and come back and you're like, oh, this is me. This is my brand. That's like really actually very jarring when you're on vacation for a week and you come back and you're like, whoa. Who's made grilled cheese? Oh, wait a minute. It's always grilled cheese up in here. That's always my house. Oh, no. I'm grilled cheese, man. And everyone else who's ever come into my house knows it. That's why candles got invented. It's just air hacking. So I call candles air hackers. Hey, DIY who? Hack the air. I got this one. I'm sending him by level 9000. Yeah, drew drew drew. Do you have important thing to do? So yeah, drew answers user Johnny who asks.

By the way, we got to talk about that hack. There's a Yahoo hack like 500 million accounts exposed. How's your guys shit going? Doesn't sound like it's going very good. Hey, Yahoo answers are definitely gonna be dead like by next week, right? You're gonna have to sell it to pay for the all the accounts, all the hacking. Okay, great. Hey, there are information got 500 million people hacked, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, half a bill bill, no big deal. Who has got Yahoo account? Like, yeah, what are you keeping on there? What are the secrets? All right, Gryff, I'm ready. Hit me with the yard. All right, as soon as that's about your answers, user Johnny who asks our roller coaster good for you update like for your body.

Our roller coaster good for you. Our roller coaster good for you. Let's talk about the health benefits of a coaster. Here's what I say, massages, very good for you. Moving the toxins around, I guess, squeezing the nodules and getting the bad stuff out and moving the bad stuff to the good nodules and then releasing the knots and the tension and the aura. I think a good coaster flips, he spins all around. And when you get out of the end of it, your muscles are all confused and just loose and wild. I think it's like a reverse massage. It's like putting tension into the body. It's not rubbing you in the specific way you need to be rubbed. Let me pause it a circumstance in which it can be very good for

your body. Okay. A kidney stone. Just breaks it all up. Well, you got launched in there, you can't get it out. You can't give a kidney stone out. Maybe it's in the shape of an arrowhead and it's buried in like the wall of your kidney. Come on. I'm sorry, Gryff. So you're positing that like, oh, I have a really big kidney stone. What am I going to do today? I think when I hit up Great Adventure, just get out there. It's Great Adventure Park. Let me try one that I know. I'm going to go Kings Island. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like we talk about Kings Island a lot. Kings Island's really great. I think roller coaster good for me because, and this is just like, I don't know if you guys know this about me. It's just like a fun weird, like a very random, just like funny thing.

It's the only way I can get a boner. Oh, no, what? Yeah. So I'll hop on like the Harry Potter experience. I haven't actually been there, but I'm sure I would go hog hyphen wild on it. But yeah, I'll just go on a roller coaster and get a bone bone and then, you know, is that good for you? It'll, it'll, it'll last me a little, you know, long enough. And then it's a, I guess, I mean, the closest amusement park to me is Six Flags Fiesta, Texas, which is about an hour and a half drive. So it's called, it takes some work. Wait, is it really called Six Flags Fiesta, Texas? And I don't think it's in a town called Fiesta. I think it's just like letting you know, hey, it's time to, it's time to party specifically

Griffin. So I have an annual pass. They basically just let me come and go. I'm good friends with Barry who runs the rides there. All the rides, huh? Well, just the one closest to the entrance, because I'll just like run in there, just dart in there. Be like, yo, Barry is like, yo, trying to get wood. And I'm like, yeah. And so I'll hop on it. So Barry knows. Yeah, Barry knows, Barry knows, Barry knows. And then we'll go. And then there's a, yeah. I don't think roller coasters are good for your body. Well, I disagree because it's the, again, it's the only way I get. Yeah. Okay. You're, that you got an, an affliction. I'm saying like, by and large, I think there's like, I think you're kind of getting beat up in there.

I don't know that I've ever gotten off a roller coaster and thought, ah, better. That's the stuff. Is adrenaline good for your body though? Fight or fight? Fuck yeah, dude. Fight or fight getting triggered? That's good because you go in there and you, like you go into, sometimes you just got to fight a roller coaster. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It's a very aggressive, very just sexual experience. Just being on a, just being on a good coaster. Is it the loops that give you the wood? The wood now? I don't want to, I don't want to circle back. What is it? The loops that give you the wood? I think it's just a blood flow thing. It's getting on with a good corkscrew and then the centrifugal force just puts my

blood exactly where I need it. The tip of your penis. Well, that's a little lewd to talk about that. The tip of the penis? Our roller coaster good for your body though? Do you think? Probably? Holistically speaking, I think they're like a net loss. I think you get bruised. I think you get shaken all around. Sometimes your head goes buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, but between the two head rests. This is true. Could you make a roller coaster that is good for your your body. Okay. I'm saying that maybe like that's what you go into. You design like, Hey, everybody, this whole coaster is going to feel like a nap. At the bottom. What about this? At

the bottom of the dip? Chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, going up, going up, going up, going up. I'm going down. I'm screaming. My mouth is open. Oh, what's at the bottom salad? You're just going through. That's fine. You're just like get shoving it in there. And then halfway through the ride. It just stops for 45 minutes. And like a pillow comes out and you just take like a just a quick 45 minute nap because that's always good for everybody. 45 minute nap is a fucking nightmare.

And I wish you 21 minute nap. 26 minute nap is like where you want to agree to disagree. I prefer 21 minutes. So Emma Martina, Luigi and Marano born 29 November 1899 is the oldest living person. And by the way, internet, it took me a way too long to figure this out. We should just if I if I type oldest, then there should be a website called oldest living person that just tracks that shit. Maybe that's the next project from the people who brought you which one but

vapes. Anyway, Emma, huge coasterhead. So there's something there's something there. What's the quote? Is there you said there was a quote in there about like how much Emma loves coasters? Yeah, it says, boy, boy, howdy, I just love getting spun around and getting wood on these coasties. And it says I can't do them anymore, though, because I would turn to dust. If I went on a roll if this if this woman went on Son of Beast at King's Island, she would just be reduced to ash doesn't it

doesn't it's been closed for a half decade. She would it would be quite a fetish. It would be pretty incredible. But anyway, huge coasterhead in Marano. No big deal. Just like 116 years old. That's pretty good. 16 years young. No, no, she's very old. Yeah, looking looking really good though. What's her the top result is also Emma Martina Luigi and Marano diet. If you type in Emma, then like if it fills to that because you know some people are like, I want to be 116 secret. I'm guessing lots

of pasta, lots of coasters, lots of wood. Okay, that's one option. That's one option is just you got to move the blood around and you got to fill that tummy with pasta. Get that wood. The last few days, someone has left a bike parked on my sidewalk near my house kickstand down no lock just standing there and not even in front of any residents. It's not in bad shape. It only needs a new front tire to be rideable. I was sitting there for three days straight. It was sitting there.

You weren't sitting there watching it just not moving afraid the bike would run away if you made sudden movements. It was sitting there for about three days straight with no movement or anyone coming to get it. So I said fuck it and took it in my good. That was from cycle salvage in the American South. It's from bike thief in Birmingham. Thief, a bike taker. This person's a bike thief. Yeah, you took the bike. You're back and like how long would a car need to sit on the street

before you're like no one's coming back to this car. Yeah, that hooped he's got a busted spoiler. I'm just going to take it. What? He sat in front of my house for three days and no one moved the car. So I guess it's a free car. You know, I tried the handle and it was unlocked. So I grand thefted the auto. You can't just take a thing because someone left it stationary. This thing is old and bad. So it's mine now. It wasn't a fucking cat that you found outside that was hungry. It was a person's bicycle

that maybe they need to reinflate the front tire, but that's no excuse that you're on some wisdom of Solomon shit like the bike goes to the person who loves it the most. And maybe you're about to like try to deny this, but let me ask you this and be be brutally honest with me and yourself. What kind of do diligence did you do? Did you put signs up there like, Hey, if you come looking for this bike, I've got it. It's safe. You can have it. Or were you just like, this is mine. No one will

ever know this is mine. Like what's how much work did you do to make sure the rightful owner would not think? I know crazy. It was just stolen. It's just you just stole it. You just kind of stole a bike a little bit. It's not the worst stealing of a bike that ever was. No, it's not like you chopped the lock and took a little kid's huffy, but it's not great. God, I would love to have been there when you finally broke and just did the damn dirty thing. Can you imagine where you have to be at?

Just like, Okay, fucking, I'm just gonna do it. Just like you had to stick your courage to the sticking place. Just like walk down your driveway and just like grab it. Like, am I really doing this? Am I? I bet it was so exciting. I bet you were thrilled. Like, am I really stealing this bike? Oh my God, I'm stealing this bike. I'm doing this. I bet they did it slow at first. Like, they probably eased up and acted like they weren't taking it. Yeah, just like dusting and yelled and yelled

like, I'm taking this bike now. I hope nobody stops me. You're lucky as shit that you weren't bait by you. Oh, yeah. Junkiness was was across the street in a car. This is an episode of Detective Junkiness episode of what would you do? And you just lost the morality test. I will say it. Is it impressive that no one just stole it? Yeah. I mean, someone did. That person was the you. I would love a follow up where Junkiness does join a police force and becomes Detective

Junkiness and a sequel show called What Did You Do? And he just busts people for crime. He's like, I've got a special TV segment. You stole the bicycle and we've been filming it for three days. Oh, well, yeah, I guess I guess you got me. I guess I learned my lesson. You sure did. You have the right to fucking remain silent. I'm Detective Junkiness. No second chances. That's the kind of man I am. That's the kind of man I am. No more. You took the bike fever. Um, you stole it. You did.

You did steal it. Okay, break it down into its base components. There was a thing that was not yours. Yes. And you made it yours by way of your taking without paying for it or even asking for permission of a thing. Yes. That's that's stealing. That's and I know I've just described stealing. I mean, let's be honest. That bike was probably stolen from someone else. Oh, every bike has been stolen. I'm gonna go back to Austin and open up my garage and both of my bikes are gone. So

like all bikes are stolen. Yeah. Basically, I think someone stole this and then like maybe they lost their nerve or saw a cop or something. Yeah, maybe it's cursed. It could be a curse. It could be one of those Jumanji bikes. A bit Jumanji bike and now you're what? Riding it around? Okay. Listen, question asking. Here's my question for you. You take your hot bike, you're riding your hot bike around the neighborhood and somebody goes, Hey, I think that's my bike. How do you

respond? Because that's going to color like the rest of my wrist. If you're like, Oh, it was sitting in front of my house. And you question ask the fact that your mind is racing right now to think about ways to prevent this that the proof is in the pudding. Yeah. I mean, you stole the bike. I'm worried that now after the thrill of stealing a bike has happened that you're now going to crave that high again. And like, I don't know that I don't know that any bike is safe

around you now. Here's and then pretty soon it'll be a philosophy. You know, there's only one circumstance in which you find a bike in the wild and you can make it yours. I think it's if you fish it out of the river. Yeah, if you go fishing and this is why most people fish like it's not to fish is fucking boring. They're all hoping to get a bike. Well, because that's not stealing it. That's rescuing a bike. You saved a bike at that point and it's good for the environment.

Yeah, I want to suggest a sort of middle ground and see how it grabs you guys. Okay, what if you take the bike and ride it as your own. But every night, when you're done with the bike, you return it to the sidewalk and leave it standing there just where you for somebody else to steal a bike and don't have a bike, steal a bike, have a bike, give it to be stole the bike. No, I'm saying you you like, don't try to break this wild bike. Don't try to like make it yours. I'm saying like,

leave it as a wild bike that when you need a bike is there for you. It's a community bike every you but you ride it, but you don't try to take possession of it. You just use it when you need it. And if it's no longer there at some point, oh, well, that bike moves on to it. Why are you doing by taking it? Here's what you're really like, let's let's let's put a let's put a pin in it. When you take it, what you're saying is, boy, I hope no one else steals this is what I do. Yeah, that's all that's

all you're doing is like, I'm gonna pre steal this. So no one steals it from the imagined possession that I've created around it. The only thing you can do now is go throw it in the river for some for some lucky fisherman to find and maybe leave a note on it. This is like, this bike is not cursed or like, and right on the note serendipity, because I've I saw the movie a long time ago, a DVD of serendipity to the bike. Yes. Do they throw the bike in and then catch it

themselves? Is that big fish? Is it like baptism? Is it then like, but they can't do it in the same. It has to come back around to them. They can't do it in the same through all the worlds. Yeah. Okay. Because also, the experience is that bike has had will make it a fuller, richer bike. You know what I mean? That bike has truly lived, you know, guys, I miss my like, I miss my bike. I can't wait to get home and put some laps on it. I miss my bike. I can't wait to get home and

tune her up. Yeah. Assume it's still there. It won't be. But if it is, I'm gonna grease the chains and pump those wheels and just bike stolen from you. Yeah, I had one stolen. I had one stolen grievance. No, I'm due. I'm due for mine was on the porch of the fine arts building in Oklahoma and my lock was broken on my like, you bolt lock thing. So I put just kind of draped it around so it looked locked. I was inside the building for

about 20, 30 minutes and came back out and I was gone. And there was like shrubbery and foliage all around the porch. So like someone had to walk up and check and test to steal my like $80 like Walmart bike. No, I've never had a bike stolen. But when I flew here for the TV show, I left my bike in the front tires a little beat up, but I left it outside of somebody's house and I just like put the kickstand down. I didn't lock it because Austin's a pretty friendly place. So I

left it there. And I'm sure it'll be I'm sure it'll be I'm sure it's on a big deal. Someone's negligence is not an excuse to steal things from. Yes, that's right. They accidentally left their bike there. Maybe they needed to run in some place real quick and it took them longer than they thought it would. Three days. Yeah, three days longer than they thought it was. Run into that puzzle dungeon real quick. Yeah. Um, you know, should we go to the money tone? Yeah, let's go. We I'm

gonna need money to buy a new bike. Because mine's in hell. Folks, our first sponsor this week is Blue Apron. If you have been looking to maybe expand your cooking prowess, but you don't know where to start, it can be pretty intimidating, but Blue Apron makes it really easy. They're going to deliver you a box with all the food you need. Fresh summer vegetables, fresh, you know, great produce, great meats, and step by step instructions with pictures that'll let you create delicious

home-cooked meals with perfectly pre-proportioned, pre-proportions. I have a lot of trouble with that one every time. Pre-proportioned ingredients. Blue Apron, you're making an incredible product and your liner notes here that we're supposed to read are pretty good, but I think we need to just come up with a different word because we just goof that one hard each time. And this is for less than $10 a meal, which is which is pretty great. They've got variety, new

recipes are created weekly and are not repeated within a year. There's, you can customize what you want based on your preferences. If you have dietary things that you're trying to stick to, Blue Apron can accommodate that. And it's easy and fun. Some meals that are coming down the pike in September, paprika, spice, shrimp, and cheddar grits with tomato and sweet corn. Delicious. Spicy Hoy, there's your ASMR, everyone. Spicy Hoy. Or they just threw up. That's the mouth sound

Griffin made. That's how I, this is how I, so I have different ways of eating each kind of food. So the way that I did shrimp and grits was, so keep, read the next one and I'll tell you how I eat that. Spicy Hoy, chicken stir-fry with baby bok choy and sesame ginger cucumber salad. So that one I do, I do big bites, big animated bites on that one. That sounds like a Sesame Street character eating a transition into the next scene like a monster. What's the next

one? I'm not doing any more. Eggplant and chickpea tag to Jean. Fuck, we gotta learn how to say this word fellas. Anyway, that one's like, I do like a bunch of really quick little bites. Great. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash my brother. You'll love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible hook cook meals with blue aprons. So don't wait, that's blueapron.com slash my

brother. What is that? Kind of like bad corn? Little bites, just little bites. Little bites? Can I tell you about Squarespace? Wait. I would like to tell you about Squarespace please for once. Can I just? We never let Travis tell us about Squarespace. Can I just please? But if it makes you feel any better, it's because we think you're gonna do a really bad job. I'm not. I'm gonna do a good job. So you know websites? Where do you get them? Right? Like yeah. It seems

like everyone's got one and they're like maybe it's a website all about like I don't know who Vapes or like the invasion of Normandy or something. I think you have to go to the store or maybe there's like a government place that you have to go to and ask them for a website and then they do. You know what government? I used to think that. Yeah. But no, you just go to squarespace.com. They've already got a bunch of websites that they'll just give you and I

don't think it works that way. So they bought all the websites and then you go there and they're like that'll be five dollars for a website and say okay. An old man leaves you down at the C corridor and he asks you some questions about the kind of person you are and then he just reaches up and selects a website. This one will do nicely. He grabs an old mason jar full of websites and he unscrews the lid and up into the website's add-on to the table and you get to pick the

one you want. He said wait, no, it couldn't be. I've had this one here for years. Certainly not. Only one dark wizard has claimed this website before. It doesn't work like this at all but it is very easy. Travis, our prediction of you doing a batch of like swinging squarespace has been precious. Voldemort also has a website that uses Ruby. I thought I was actually doing a pretty good job till you guys started on this old man tangent. Well, no, this is this is the important thing

about commercials is to not let the other two brothers assail you whatever. Stand your ground. Let me run through it. So Squarespace will teach you and show you everything you need to know to build a pretty amazing website. I made macroshows.com on Squarespace. It took me about 30 minutes. How much did you have to pay the old man at the store for macroshows? I do remember but it was very reasonable. It was a very low amount. Does he do? Does he deal in trades? No, but with every

website you do get one Werther's original still worn from his pocket. Travis, you are letting us walk all over you. Let me tell you about the features. It's easy. You get free custom domain. They got beautiful templates, seamless commerce tools. So, if you want to like make money off your website, you can do that. Now, how did you fold the commerce tools into macroshows? Every time you click a link on macroshows.com, you get charged $5. What does the what does the website man

get? The website man gets $4.99 of it. That's a lot. I get one penny but I'm literally doing no work. The website man doesn't he dresses very poorly and you would think with all the money he's making from the website residuals. He's very invested. He has a very diverse portfolio. You are a fucking doormat right now. Okay, let me try again. They got customer support out the wazoo 24 7. You can talk to a human being who's going to help you out. Just the same. Just the old man.

Just the old man. Um and you're very busy. You can start today. Get your free trial free free trial today at squarespace.com slash my brother to get 10% off your first purchase. Go check it out. Go do it. Start your own website. Maybe you have your own new cultural phenomenon like which one vapes. I have a personal message here. I wish I could be at the Squarespace offices when he's like Valerie get in here. We found it. The McLeary brothers found it. The perfect

advertisement for our website service. You know that openly hostile sound you've been looking for? Listen to this. Got a personal message here. Jumbotron message for Anthony soon to be the more and it's from Allison soon to be the more who says I love you more than Griffin loves horses falls. Travis loves dogs impossible and Justin loves not having to say big words in Jumbotrons. Correct. Uh I can't wait to marry you on Saturday and spend the rest of our lives

listening to the brothers together. I love you so much burbles. You can hit me up on my mobile anytime. Oh this wedding's actually happening this week. We crushed it. We stuck the landing on the date folks. October first is when Anthony and Allison are getting married. Uh congratulations you two are very excited. Uh hope everything goes well. I'm sure it will and enjoy your new life together. I got a message for ita. That's Allison Taylor for from uh Be life

which is Blythe. Who is Blythe? Hey, happy birthday to you ita. Thank you for introducing me to the magical world of a bim bam biking and all things majestic. Cheers to all the bike riders and Mario. No, sorry. Hey bike riders. Thanks for listening to my message. Hey, hey, got a second bike. This one goes out to all the bike or people out there. This goes to all the bike thieves out there. Uh so take another run at this for the rest of the fucking message. Okay. Thank you for

introducing me to the magic world of a bim bam biking and all things majestic. Cheers to all the bike rides and Mario cart times that are ahead. Also, happy birthday for like four years, girl. This one's for June. Didn't quite. So I did just a little bit. Didn't quite get there. I do like that you introduced if I can double check this again, you entered you were introduced by your friend to my brother, my brother and the concept of biking. Yeah, it's tight, dude. You

know cars imagine half of that. Hey, look what I stole for you. Look what I stole for you. It's like a car by half of that and the engine is you. I would love to be in Blythe childhood home when she sees kids outside moving quickly past the window on some kind of wonderful metal monster. If you're on a bike, you're the engine and all the food you ate that day is the fuel. Think about it. So when you go, you could call it, you could go to Taco Bell and be like, I'm

at the gas station for the me engine. If you give me some bike fuel and I can I get a bike? Can I get a crunch wrap bike fuel? I'm Barbara Gray. I'm Brandy Posey and I'm We're lady to lady. Do you want to sleep over in your ears? Is that a friend in your pocket or you just podcast to see me? We're a portable hangout. You can bring to the gym on the subway or on an oil rig. Seriously, we have listeners who do that. Show with us while we get high with Margaret Cho. Talk

showgirls with Katia from Drag Race and hear Broadway star Anthony Rapp sing Hamilton. I am not throwing away my shot. I am not throwing away my shot. Hey, yo, I'm just like my country. I'm young, steppy and I'm not throwing away my shot. That's lady to lady. Can you keep a secret? Neither can we. You guys want a yahoo? You know what Griffin? I would. How about this one sent him by level nine thousand? You have to play a game. From yahoo answers user four twenty. Nice. Who

asks? That's not one that got removed. No. Amazing. Uh and it's in pets horses asks have you met or seen any celebrities through the horse world which is of course if you look at a mirror during the during the dark hour you can see into the horse world. You can peer through the equestrivers. You can peer into the equestrivers and then its secrets will be revealed. I'm just wondering if anyone else has I've seen Patrick Swayze. So this this one's from this. I've seen

Patrick Swayze at the unless. Oh my god. Swayze's in the equestrivers. Is that where he went? We've got to we've got to we got to get him out of there. Got to get him out. DD two's got to happen. Actually, you know what? DD two did have him by the way. Wait, wait. It's called Havana Nights. Yeah. DD three. Yep. Yeah. Quack. Quack. Quack. Quack. Quack. I've seen Swayze at the Kentucky Horse Park before and in Weff, that's the winter equestrian festival in Florida, Seinfeld

was there because his daughter rides and I talked to him. Ha ha ha. Here's what I said. Ha ha ha. Mary Kate Olson tried my friend's horse the other week. Let me let me try your horse. It is mine now. Uh so we got to talk to her and I shook Steven Spielberg's hand. His daughter was in my junior hunter class. That's for hunting horses. The horse world. Wait, wait, wait. Like you see him out in the wild. I got a shot. No, you don't kill the horses. You ride the

horses into hunt into the hunt. It's just you and the horse killing much smaller defensive animals. I just think it's cool that celebs compete in the same sport I do and when they're in the horse world, they're still viewed as celebrities but people generally leave them alone like they're normal people showing. No paparazzi or anything scattering. A blessing. Thank you. No paparazzi or anything annoying scattering to them or to talk or greet them. It's

just interesting. Do you have any celebs stories that relate to horses? Share. I love to hear them. Oh, share? Yeah, she loves writing. Share me those. Share them. Share. Nice horse. Hey, share. This person through being a part of the horse world has met Seinfeld Spielberg. Yes. Mary Kate. Uh huh. Swaz. Swaz. Swaz A. And like everybody's just totally chill. Yeah, everybody's totally chill now. I'm saying that the horse world is fucking started. Do you know

who loves horses? Who? I give you two people love horses. Please tell me now. Martha Stewart. Okay. Crazy about him. Channing Tatum. Yes. Crazy for horses. That makes perfect sense. Um. It goes crazy for him. He's got his own. He's gone riding with Martha Stewart. I know this from baby geniuses. They do a whole segment called band chunge about Martha Stewart's pony band chunge. Hunter Jumper says I've never met anyone at a horse show

frown face but. And I mean I've never met anyone. Anyone at a horse show. But Bill Gates used to work with my dad and would come speak at his meeting. Same with Steve Jobs. My friend was in the Justin Bieber movie and a close family friend has worked with Channing Tatum. My family also goes to the Ted conferences every year. We meet a lot of people there. Hold on. That's not what we ask. It's not. Have you ever met anyone period? That's

an unacceptable diversion. Justin, have you ever met anybody at the horse thing? Well, no, but I saw Dave Chappelle on the street in New York once. So that was cool. So that was cool. Also, my dad is Steve Jobs. So fuck you. My dad thinks that with Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. Oh, he did. Did. Yeah. We've just lost a lot of people since September 4th, 2009. Have you guys ever met anyone through the through the horse world? Have I

met anyone through the horse world? So one time during the dark hour, I did look into the mirror during it was the thunderstorm outside and I looked in to the into the mirror and Wanda Sykes was on the other side. Wow. Wanda Sykes was looking. She was also during the dark hour was looking into the mirror through the equestriverse and like it was hard to see her through all the you know billowing mains and just sort of like dust clouds being

kicked up all these mustangs just sort of ran ran through. But yeah, we definitely saw it and I waved and she waved and she looked a little bit uncomfortable but it was it was nice. Did you have a prophetic message for you because I've heard if you look in the mirror the dark hour and you see Wanda in the horse world that she'll tell you something that you wish you didn't know about your future. I mean any

communication was sort of you know language gets destroyed in the horse world and so it's hard. It's really it's tough. It was just Wanda Sykes screaming. Wanda Sykes and she was screaming something and I was trying to read her lips but there were so many horses. That's the worst part. She was screaming a date. Just over and over. She actually reached out and she wrote something on a notepad and as soon as she held it up her mirror shattered and

she was actually lost to the horse world. You hate to see that. You hate that when that happens. I've never met anybody specifically through the horse world but when I was in Scotland Teresa and I did go on a horse back right through the glen and I rode a horse and I was the horse's name. I mean I can't remember the horse's name but I swear it was it was in I don't know if it was like a spiritual thing or just like a spiritual. Oh it's a

spiritual thing definitely because the horse was Napoleon Bonaparte. Oh shit. I can tell by the way the horse shit like it shit it was very like defiantly and powerful Napoleon. It's small man. Huge craps and he would do it right in the middle of the ground staring at like staring into the eyes of his like officers to like show dominance and he would only do it once a week because he wanted to get a really good one and he'd be like it's time

for no mega crap and it would actually like kind of lift him off the ground. Yeah it's like a fun cartoon and that's exactly what this horse did and I was like oh my god. Do you think you know you know like you see those sedans that have like four people carrying it like don't you think that as it's this way dominance those should all have holes in the bottom of the shit out of them. Yeah. Because like what could be more like there's one thing cooler than being carried by

four people and it's like I'm actually gonna take a dump right now. Sorry. Please try to keep it steady. How about another question. I want to get in the horse world. How can you get in the horse world. Do you have to pay your way in. I mean yes. Do you have to own a horse. Yeah. That probably helps. They probably don't want to look you lose that are just like I don't have a horse but I'm super into them. Yeah. You just oppose or you're a casual. Hit me with a

cue. Here it comes. I was eating a cookie after lunch before going to. I want a munch. Squat. Squat. Now you fucked it. I got it. That was a good time that you did it very well. Thank you. I want a munch. Squat. Am I supposed to sing it. I want to munch. Squat. The huts back. I don't know is the hut been up in the squad before. The hut like is sticking cheese and hot dogs and fucking everything so yeah I'm assuming they've been in the mix. This here's the literal

title of this press release. Give it to this is not a drill. Jesus god no it's happening for real. Pizza hut unleashes latest cheesy goodness in all new grilled cheese stuff crust pizza. What the fuck did I tell you. Pizza hut embarrassing us with cheese. Here's the here's the beginning of the press release. We like to refer to press releases here on the munch squad because who better talk about the stuff than the experts. Justin wait before you jump into it

really quick and this is important. This is like a drill right. This is like a no this is not a drill. This is like a practice run. Grilled cheese. Good original stuff crust pizza. Good grilled cheese stuff crust pizza. Real good. Nice. That's good coffee right there. If it features extra gooey cheddar and mozzarella cheese stuffed in baked in onto the crust. Finish off the grilled cheese crust. It's topped with toasted breadcrumbs and melted butter. Excellent because

that's been the problem with more bread to this point. It's just bread and butter. I just love the the huts uh genuine cheese. We like their meals. It's all handy. They use the they use the and the my question is this. Is there anything in there that's what separates this from a cheese stuffed crust pizza which I just fucking outline for you that includes hand rolled artisanal mozzarella. Is that the most and toasted breadcrumbs and melted butter. The butter is

probably what what separates it from the herd. Oh these my fuckers put breadcrumbs up on the bread. Yeah that's what I'm trying to determine here. It's it's impossible. Where did they get the crumbs from? They must have destroyed other bread. They must have taken whole bread to ruin it for other bread. Yeah every pizza takes two pizzas to pizza and that's just yeah I'm an eco conservationist and that just sets me off. Here's a quote the perhaps the most unnecessary

explanatory quote in American uh uh uh rhetoric. It's from David Tim chief marketing officer of Pizza Hut so you know he's he can be trusted. The grilled cheese stuffed crust pizza is the perfect combination of a classic grilled cheese and traditional pizza. Thanks David. Thank you. I did I did wonder where you're going with this bad boy. You know what would be a way bolder this David? It's an imperfect. This hybrid should not and could not exist. Here's

the truth. We've been working on this for two years and we just got to a point where it's like we can't put any more R&D into this. We just have to release it in the wild. The result is a delicious flavorful and indulgent pizza that packs the punch of a gooey cheesy crunchy grilled cheese. How much selling does it take to get the concept of the crosses like grilled cheese? I know what you're doing and and then it says the result of eating this pizza will either

be dumped forever or never dumped again or it's like unclear or like both but alternating and you never know which one is going to be. Indulgent is maybe the best adjective because they what it's literally one shade below like gluttonous fuck pile. This is a real hedonistic pizza. Enjoy. Feed your corpulence. Bathe in olive oil and red wine. Add this to your self slime trash bag. Yeah, the perfect the perfect appetizer for a night at the

vomitorium. Then have your servant come in and tickle your throat with a feather so that that was enjoyable. Rub this on your face. You would think the press release would in there but someone wrote all that stuff and was like I still don't know. They say this is how they justify cheese is rapidly rapidly becoming one of America's favorite foods. It's 2016. Cheese has been a pretty dominant part of cuisine for forever. It continues. Related pizza is

often ranked as the most popular food in America. Pizza hut puts that in every one of their press releases. Pizza still very good. Still very very good. Still enjoyed by many. We did millions of dollars of research to determine that people seem to like cheese and pizza. And I'm reading here down on the press release it says fuck hamburgers. That's crazy. Then it continues to round up the equation. Grilled cheese has been pegged as one of the most comforting foods

ever imagined. Now all these favorites and there are quotes on that. Favorites can be enjoyed as one. This is like the person that tells you a joke and it's like no the horse has a long face. So why the long face is because the horse has a long face. This is I'm going to read this the last paragraph here. Okay because the fact that this is a paragraph as part of a press release going out to the press. It's heartbreaking. Is there a newspaper by the way of

record. That is like great quotes. Definitely going to toss these in our story. Cheese. It's very important right now. Very very pizza on the rise. People people like pizza and cheese and they like grilled cheese. So we saw the presses. Yeah. Stephen with his front page. The grilled cheese stuffed crust pizza can be topped with any one of the following fresh pizza hut ingredients. Good god. Fresh mushrooms. Fresh spinach. Fresh red onions. Fresh green

bell peppers. Slice banana peppers. Sweet pineapple. Slice jalapeno peppers. Mineratranium black olives. Peruvian cherry peppers and diced Roma tomatoes as well as pepperoni, Italian sausage, premium salami, the stuff you're really going to put on. And napkins of hardwood, smoked bacon, grilled chicken, beef and seasoned pork. Pizza lovers can customize their pizza with a choice of five sauces including classic marinara, premium crushed tomato, creamy

garlic, Parmesan. This is how I'm in you. Hey, your press release is how I'm in you. They can also top their pizza with a choice of sauce drizzles. This is just your menu. It's your menu dummy idiot dumb asshole. You just put this in your press release. It's just your fucking menu. Are you fucking Charles Dickens working on a word count? You're paid by the line. The things you can put on the pizza is all the things because there's no pizza law. These are the prices. These are

the prices and the different sizes and here's every phone number to every pizza hut. So, you'll talk to Bill. He'll walk you through the process from that point. Hey guys, this is a great press release. I was just wondering, my name is Dr. Salad and I was wondering if there's anything for me at your establishment and Mr. Domino's has been able to help me out lately. So, I'm not such a heel with my local parties. Go fuck yourself. Cheese is so popular right now.

Unless we can put grilled cheese into a salad somehow. That's crazy. That's ludicrous. I also kind of just make one quick note. They try to sell you a line about how they'll make your crust pretzel. Griffin and I specifically. Oh, what the fuck? I didn't even think about that. It's all I've thought about for three days. Griffin and I specifically requested a pretzel after a long shoot. Yeah. A long day of shooting and doing. We had to eat late night pizza and we specifically

asked for a pretzel crust and did we get it? We did not. Did not. But could you get, wait, could you get a grilled cheese crust that's pretzel? Yeah, we can get whatever the fuck we want. There's no pizza law. There's nothing like that. I actually don't think that that would work. I don't think you could. Anyway, let me actually read the question. I was eating a cookie after lunch before going to the computer lab. When I got there, I realized it was a crumb from

the cookie stuck in a fold of my shirt. Without thinking, I popped it straight into my mouth. Several people in the lab stared at me in shock even though I explained it was just a cookie crumb. No, no, no, no. You don't understand. It was a crumb from a cookie. I was enjoying a a a delectable Otis spunk wire and I just couldn't let a single morsel of that under my nails. Your scandalized because perhaps I should have shared. Sorry. All the Otis spunk wire for me,

unfortunately. What do you want to call your cookie company? Well, I have a pretty appetizing name. What is it? It's Otis spunk wire. Good. Finish the question. Okay. Should I just brush it off or was I okay not letting it go to ways? That's from insatiable appetite in Athens, Georgia. You were absolutely not okay. That is unacceptable. What is it? Oh, it's acceptable. Well, the problem is they did not clarify the size of said crumb. If you have a cookie crumb on your

shirt, that's a passenger on you. That's embarrassing. Eating it isn't that is whatever. Why do you fucking care? I don't know the level of like CSI bullshit you would need to go through to confirm 100% that it was definitely a delectable Otis spunk wire cookie. Especially when you work. Let me change the question again in a lab. Yeah, you work in a lab. On a computer. I was talking to a fucking site and I'm like dicing the work computer. Like, oh man, we've almost finished

splicing the genome. Oh no. I made the one that gives me wasp wings. Sweet. That's how science works. That's how science works. Okay. Other options though, like people were acting pretty upset, but how would what would they have thought if you picked a cookie come off your shirt and just like flicked it at him? I think I probably would have thought you were a real like bad boy. What were you supposed to do? Go get a napkin and throw away. Like

what is this? No, hold it out in front of you as though we're like a spider and like I'm gonna crump. What do I do? I'm really panic. Why are they why are these people fucking mad dogging you? Hey, that's why I would say if if I picked delicious crumb from a spunk and chopped it and you guys looked at me like I would look at the two of you and I would say, Hey, mind your own fucking business. What I eat and do to my body is none of yours. It's possible that all of

these other people the computer lab like they all got together and they just watched honey. I shrunk the kids and they just see you like pluck a crumb and eat it and they're like, what if oh, I mean, I'll just horrify themselves thinking what if that was one of the kids? What if that was Richard Moranis himself? I don't think he got shrunk in the movie. Uh except he did in the second one. What the fuck are you talking about? No, he did in the third one.

Honey, we shrunk ourselves. Then why did you say that he did? He shrunk the kids and I shrunk the kids. He said it in the movie that kids shrunk the kids. He exploded his infant son and yeah, the order the order was shrunk the kids to save them thought I'm gonna keep doing this this particular I'm gonna keep following this particular dream blew up his son and was like, maybe no, I'm gonna keep doing it. I think and then did himself and I think that was the final straw

because we didn't get it. Yeah. The fourth one is the TV show. The fourth one has to be Honey. I think this relationship is runner ground. I think we need to take a break. There's a TV. There's a TV show. Yeah. With Peter Scallari. Yeah. Was the TV show just like every episode? Like, how the fuck does this keep happening? It was all different machines or the the shrinkery was in the do you think that when they were naming honey, I think it's

two. Somebody said we'll go with I blew up the baby and everybody went let's see if we can come up with better than that and it was like I made the baby real big. I've picked up the baby. If each one is a sentence that you are saying to your spouse, then I think by five, it would just be like Margaret by it fucking a Margaret. I can't fucking believe this. I know this is gonna be hard to believe but it's happening. Honey, I shot the kids. I still

want my fault. Baby, I blew up the baby. Honey, we shrunk ourselves. Sweetheart, I done fucked this one so bad. Margaret, this is gonna be the end of our marriage, isn't it? Honey, I want you back. That's honey. I want you back and also I'm very small. Please come get me. Please pick up your very small husband. Honey, I the final list of your complaints and blew up my wiener. This is like a crazy great hug. Honey, I shrunk your dad to the

point of non-existence and now he's gone. Honey, I'm sorry about your dad. Honey, I shrunk my ego and blew up my level of consideration for you and listening. Just I blew up my listening skills. Please take me back. What do you think honey? I shrunk the kids the TV show is about like episode per episode. What do you think? Episode one coming strong out of the gates. I think it's a pretty traditional child shrinking romp. Okay. Episode two, I

think they probably, I mean, it's all size play, right? So, I think the dog probably gets weird. Episode three, the whole house got little. Oh no, all our stuff. Episode four, he accidentally shrinks the relationship counselor that they bring in. Uh-huh, and then they just carry him around in their pocket. He's like a recurring character. Yeah, it's very cute though. I do like that part. Episode five, they shrink their son, but blow up their daughter. And at this

point, Peter is just like, I'm just trying to find new fun ways of mixing it up. He's just trying to feel alive. He only feel alive by shrinking at this point. I'm just gonna hit both of you guys with some titles. Okay. On episodes of Honey, I shrunk the kids the TV show. Honey, we've been swallowed by grandpa. Literally out the gate. Hi. They nail it. Let me just quick. Let me just get on. Let me just torrent this real quick. Honey. Torrenting, torrenting.

Shut up. I'm watching this now. Shut up. Give me 22 minutes. Nobody talk. Just let me sit here in it. Honey, the house is trying to kill us. Holy shit. Honey, I'm haunted. Honey, I'm haunted? Honey, you've got nine lives. Okay, so this is the, this is the, uh, what's the fucking cat movie this hour right now? Happy Cat. Honey, they're after me Lucky Charms. No, that's not. No, Justin. Okay. Wayne's invention succeeds in finding gold. A pot of doubloons claimed by a

leprechaun. Just have a phone with it. Listen, I know that the movies are pretty whimsical with the ant dogs and franchise rooted in science. But you can't do like, I don't know, you know, scientific leprechaun. Honey, I blew up the leprechaun. Honey, I know what you're thinking. Honey, you're living in the past. That's like a, is that a two-part? That's where it all starts to go downhill for the Zalinsky's. Honey, I have conquered death. By the way, they did 66 episodes of this

motherfucker. By the way, I bet Peter Scallari really feels an ownership of this role at this point since he's been doing it 15 times longer than Richard. Richard did. What's the, what's the finale call you think? Honey, who done it? Honey, we died. Honey, time stretches before me is an endless loop through which I'm trying to escape. Time is a flat circle, honey. Honey, time's a flat circle. Honey, now we're all sons of bitches. Honey, I invented the atomic bomb

accidentally back in time. Honey, I've become death destroyer of worlds. This is, oh man, this seems like a pretty good show. It really was. I actually remember enjoying it immensely. Honey, I shrink all of Australia and it's just fucking gone now. Can I tell you, Scallari's a treasure. I love Scallari. Scallari's a fucking treasure. Yeah, he's great. Honey, I'm the sorcerer's apprentice. That was the last episode? No. No, it's the last one's called the honey who

done it. It's a murder mystery, I guess. Kind of seems like an anticline. You would think they would end with some shrinking. You would think they would bring it back. Honey, let's bring it home with some shrinking. Some good old fashioned shrinkage. Honey, the next last episode is honey, I shrink therefore I am. So that's where it was. Kind of a thinker. I would like to see one episode in which he uses like the enlarging right, but enlarges everyone to one point one

scale. That would be fine. So, there's like one point one times the size. So, it's definitely like weird but not the inconvenience that they were dealing with otherwise. It's not like a giant baby. It's just like a seven foot tall man. Well, it's got it. This has got to be an expensive show, I would think. Oh, definitely. No way. With all the science. And I mean, they're just going through kids non-stop with all what with all the, do you know how many kids they lost in

the original shrink? A lot. A lot. They would just let him out in the lawn and then that's it for him. One point five kids. That aunt killed six kids. That aunt, but that aunt has been working in this town for so many of the stories that aunt could tell. Honey, I'm rooting for the home team. That's just one where they, it's no science, no wackiness. It's upset because he's having trouble playing baseball. So, he asked his dad to make some inventions to help him play

baseball better. That's just cheating, Wayne. No, no angels in the outfield, only man. Elsewhere, Diane is worried about her recital and Amy uses a cream that camouflages pimples, but she uses too much and it hides her nose. No, no, no, no. Hold on. You can't both give me baseball machines and invisible. You're telling me there's two wacky science subplots in each episode of shrink? You can't put both in there, Wayne. Yeah. Okay. Last one, I promise. Honey, the

bunny bit it. Nick convinced a machine of his own in an attempt to resurrect his dead pet buddy, Carnicus. Oh my god. Things go wrong with his invention summons a monstrous creature from another dimension that possesses the body of his deceased friend. Holy fucking shit. That's real. How's your Saturday morning programming everyone? That's real? Nick defeats death and invites a demon from another world into our plane. Honey, we've lost the plot. Honey, we went through

all this. That's going to do it for us, folks. We hope you've enjoyed the program. Thank you so much for hanging in with us on this kind of weird bumpy three week schedule. We'll be back to normal soon after. I'm going to actually predict that the next episode is probably going to be a little bit late because we are. We may, may we? No, no, no. We'll get one up. It's just I'm traveling that weekend and we are going to be fucking wipes because we're doing. I'm trying to find out,

you know, a house. Yeah, Travis is house hunting. So, the next week will probably be a bit off schedule. We apologize, but we're going to get this thing back on track. We'll probably end up sitting on that live show too because girlfriend and I have got, you know, yeah, we need to put some stuff in the tank for this one. We need to bank some stuff. Got to bank some stuff and also we're recording it so we probably can put it out. That's a point. A lot of twists and turns.

A lot of twists and turns. This is quite the roller coaster. The show, by the way, is what everyone know. I'm very proud about what's going on. I cannot wait for everyone to see it. Yeah. So, if we've, if we've sounded like exhausted and we did a live Facebook live thing for CISO, a lot of people like, God, they look so tired. It's not coming from a place of us being like bummed out or anything because the show's going really, really well and I'm really happy with it and I

think it's going to be really good. We're just leaving on the fucking board. We're just all going so deep in the tank. You know what I mean? Like, we don't have anything like at the end of the day. I am a toothpaste tube rolled from the bottom. Yeah. I want to thank John Roderick in the long winters for these for our theme song. It's a departure off the album. Putting the Days to Bend. It's a great album that you should go get. Also, I want to thank Maximum

Fun for having us. Go to maximumfun.org and just go click. Click on websites. Go click on podcasts. Go listen to stuff like Beef and Dairy Network and judge John Hodgman and stop podcasting yourself. We all have other shows and video stuff and Twitter stuff that you can find at macroishows.com. I would like to plug one in particular. Okay. We just did an episode of Shmanners in which my wife did like a biography of Emily Post. Oh, interesting. That was amazingly fascinating.

Emily Post like was incredible and like Tristan did a great job with it. It's my favorite episode. I think that we've recorded so far and I just wanted to plug that and say go check out Shmanners. Listen to that Emily Post episode and educate yourself on Emily Post. She's amazing. Yep. Is that it? I think it's going to do it for us folks. Thank you so much for sticking with us. We have a final question. Yeah. It's on my Griffin and what we do every week is Griffin reads

this and we kind of think about it and and and dwell on it and then we come back the week after. Just sort of focus on it with most of our energy. Talk about it. Just like release. Yeah, it's so nice. Anyway, this one is sent by Rachel Rosen. Game recognized game. Rachel Rosen. We need to we need to write down a fucking list of what everybody's stuff is. You need you need to write down all this. Definitely do that. Thank you, Rachel Rosen. It's by Yahoo Answers User Earl who

asks, what is Mary Tyler Moore's role in the big scheme of things? So good. I'm Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. He's been my brother. My brother may kiss your dad. Square on the lips. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Why would you listen to a podcast of TV pilots that never got made? It must not have been any good,

right? I don't know for a fact that anyone read it. They couldn't get to deal with that. First kind of a regime change. Someone at the studio who was in a decision making capacity said, these guys seem like losers. They just blamed it on, okay, well, it must be women. We got word that USA had decided to stop doing comedy. Why aren't we making this? It was so good. Here are the TV comedies you never got to see on the Dead Pilot Society podcast. Listen on Maximumfun.org or

wherever you download podcasts.