My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 332: TV Toilet Tourist

Episode Date: December 6, 2016

It's our first episode as all dads, and it's kind of a club banger? Like, you can probably chalk that up to the sleepless delirium that two of the three of us are undergoing, but maybe it's just a manifestation of that good, good lifelong responsibility. Suggested talking points: Dadvice, Young Lovers, Food Pic Stealer, Where Everybody Knows Your Name, Cool Weed Tricks, Touched By An Old Angel, While You Were Sleeping Fans, Courtesy Ginger Ale, Ducking Punches

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? It's a new face And the girls, do you want it? Just say, hey, I want it Just say, hey, I want it Hello everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother Me, an advice show for the modern era.

I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother, and they call me Travis McElroy. Well, my name's Griffin, and I'm here to say I forgot how to podcast in a major way. Welcome to My Three Dads, a new podcast, Tour Dads About Dads. Okay, let me pitch an alternate title. Dad Vice. Dad Vice, that's not bad at all. No, it's actually, it's not very bad. No, it's Advice. It's like Advice, but then I said it out loud.

It makes us sound like Miami Vice, but with Dad. Well, yeah, it sounds like we're talking about vices for dads, which is just like good Coke. Coke for me, thanks. I don't sleep anymore, so that's my dad vice. I think we should talk about, I mean, like today's first topic is just about sleeping. So I want to talk about how everybody slept last night. I'll start. I was at the Cincinnati and Hotel, and I slept on a, we ordered room service, some bread pudding and various ice creams, and then I laid upon a feather bed with my wife and child and slept 11 hours from an uninterrupted block from 10 p.m. to 9 a.m.

That bread pudding pie. You're just coasting on that hood. I think that's an experience you guys can both relate to, just sleeping 11 hours. I was curious how you guys slept last night. Well, Jocelyn, I'll tell you, last night I slept for nine uninterrupted hours because my wife is a goddamn saint, and we have been trading off every other night. So actually, night before last, I slept for a total of two hours. Last night, I slept for nine hours. Three nights ago, nine hours. I've had this real roller coaster sleep schedule that is fucking up my body.

I went to bed at 10 and at 11, I got text from my baby that was like, you up. Yo, fourth meal. Yo, dad's fourth meal. It happened again. It happened again. Right in my shorts. Hey, big update. You up? I got legs. Yeah, it's crazy. That is 90% of the sands my baby makes is like, whoa, or some equivalent of that. Like, have you seen this? I think it's called a hand.

Like that idea, just she won't shut up about it about two o'clock in the morning. So then I got a text at midnight that was like, hey, I know I just woke you up, but there's another. I got a thought of another thing. Like I want to tell you about the womb. It was great in there. It's super cool in there. Can you try to recreate that environment for me? And if you recreate it without like landing it right within like 99% accuracy,

I will scream at you. I will scream at you and I will scream at mom forever. No, I slept great. It's hard. Sometimes my baby wakes up at like 7.15 and I really wanted to sleep till 7.30. So it's really difficult as a parent of a toddler. I have been in your home when your child was screaming. I don't want to hear this bullshit from you. That's the old days Travis. I'm on Easy Street now.

But I'll get there too. This attitude of yours as though you can't remember what it was like to not sleep great. I won't stand for it. Yeah, and that's not a good character. No, this is my new character that I'm going with. Sean and Freud? Here's the secret. Here's a secret.

Scott and Freud. The secret is that I hired Muldoon from Jurassic Park to come in and shoot her with a drank dart every night. He's that she's now she is learning how to open doors. That part is true. So Muldoon does have a little bit of a treble tracking her down sometimes. And she's hunting in packs with my cats. So that that's another one that is difficult.

But he does come in just drank her every night. She goes down real. I mean, we'll do her book. We do the book in bed. Yeah, that's never enough. That's never enough because then we have to call Muldoon to come over that raptor cocktail. I'll tell you what, though. That's the trade off is my baby owns my ass and Rachel's ass from during the night times.

But during the daytime, it's like, what do you want to watch, baby? Because I hope it's Terrace House because that's what we're fucking watching. What do you want? You want to watch Friday Night Lights? Oh, you don't get a vote because you can't like do anything or say anything about it. But you have the opposite, I feel like. Or it's like, what do you want to watch, Charlie? It's like, oh, damn.

Peewee's Christmas special again. Oh, Gary. All right. Yeah. Put that bad boy on. That's a bad example because that's not rules. But we watched it three times while I was in town for the TV show. And I love that special.

But you can only laugh at the magic screen as my cousin so many times. And it should be clear when Griffin says when we're in town shooting, it was September. So we weren't jumping the gun a little bit. I actually big thank you to a sleepless night with my child. I played her, you know, like sound making mobile. And it reminded me of the theme music from Dark Cloud. And then I found that Dark Cloud was available on the PlayStation 4 store. Bye, bye, Travis.

There you go. That's what I've been doing. Goodbye, everybody. I just remember Dark Cloud existed. That's, do we, what else do we do on this one? It's not going to be all that stuff. I know that there's probably legitimate fear that it's going to be all that stuff. It's really, it's not going to be all that stuff because I'm honestly, I'm over it.

So like, I've moved way on. And I'm way in denial about it. I'm trying real hard to pretend like I don't have a kid. I'm like, I can't see her right now. So she doesn't exist. Sure. So both of you are having some object permanence issues. Yes.

Um, I'm leaning way into a baby passing that fucking Bud Light. One more. That's not just the theme song to home improvement. A lot of people don't know this, but anytime Tim Allen's involved in a project. And he plays a dad. Then that has to be the theme song for it. It's in, he wrote it. Obviously it, that was not the work of a master composer who's like,

all right, let me show you this fucking, let me show you this bar, this, this sheet music. And the notes just go down and then there's an. Just one more quick dad story. We were visiting Travis and Teresa and his baby baby. And the highlight of the trip for me is I taught Charlie how to say, she was going to kick Travis's ass. She just followed Travis around her apartment saying, I'm going to kick your ass. Yeah.

Very eloquently too. Like this was not like cute baby speak. She looked at me dead in the eye and was like, I am going to kick your ass. It was very intimidating. The two are so tied in their house that when we got home, uh, we said, did you have a good time visiting, uh, with baby baby? And she said, yeah. And she said, and, and, and we said, and Teresa and she said, yeah.

And we said, and uncle Travis and she said, I'm going to kick his ass. She's going to try. She can fucking try. I'm way bigger than her. Travis is a big man. I don't want to cross my God to kick your ass. She also spent the whole time just so that there is benefit to the dad stories. She also kept like laying a hand on my baby and saying, so cute.

It was great. She loves baby baby very much. I'm going to kick your daddy's ass. Yeah, that was weird. That was a bit of a turn off. Here comes our first question. Well, I want to say real quick because we, I wasn't here last week. We did our best to thank, thanks to everybody for the well wishes.

We had, we had a baby, um, on black Friday and everybody's doing really well. So, and a lot of people sent some nice tweets and messages and some nice stuff to our PO box and we really appreciate it. So thanks y'all. Here comes our first question. My sister thinks it's normal to use the term lovers in, uh, to refer to a couple in casual conversation. Our friend, and I think this is pretty super gross.

How can we explain to her how nasty the word lovers is? And that's from off put in the OC. Is your sister, like, I think it was, uh, who is the woman who did the SNL bit with Will Ferrell where they were, yeah, Rachel Dratch. Is that what, that's what we're dealing with? Like the whole premise of that, we all, we all went, we all lived through the 90s and early thousands, right? Like we all saw that sketch, like we understand that it's off the table.

You realize there's people that exist right now who are 16 who don't remember anything before 2000, right? Shit. That's a fair point. It's unacceptable. You can't, you simply can't. Because you say lovers and lovers means one thing and that is that they fuck all the time.

And the only way you get to use that is if you see two people casually fucking each other, then you can say, look at those lovers. Otherwise you are assuming. It's not just that. It's an active, it's an active, like, descriptor, right? Like if I go to a barber shop and I see a man or a woman cutting some hair, say that there's a barber, if I, if a lover suggests like this person, this person does it like it's their job.

These two people do it like it's their job. Wait, I'm going to stop you, Griffin, though, because that would imply that if you saw him anywhere else, he ceases to be a barber unless he is barbering. No, if I've seen them barber, then I know I've classified them. What Griffin's saying is not that he is forever cutting hair is that he has achieved a level to where he can be called that as a profession. I've seen it. You're a barber.

Don't try and disguise it. Lovers means like, hi, this is, you might as well say like, these are my friends, you know, Derek and Michael. They bone. That's what's up. Bone. That's what's up. I'm actually on the other side of this.

I've reached a time in my life where I'm old and irrelevant and really the only way that I can try to get the upper hand in conversation, like I can't tell people about the new weekend album, because I haven't heard it, but I can use uncomfortable words to try to set them off, to try to get the power balance back into my, into my level. Do you remember, you know what's interesting about this to me? It just occurred to me, right? Griffin and I at least are on the same page that lovers is weird, right? I'm going to add one word to it that's going to change the way you feel about that.

You ready? Young lovers. No, but really? Okay, see, I'm on the side of using young lovers as like a cute springtime, Twitter-pated, all befuddled about one another. You look at those young lovers out for a stroll through the park. I don't think saying look at those young lovers implies like, no, but no, but no, but it does.

No, it doesn't. No, wait, Justin, hold on. Hold on, Griffin. Excuse me. One second. I forgot to Justin. Justin, you have to be on my side about this. You were on board with lovers.

If I was on board with lovers because it made people uncomfortable. Like, I'm fully in the camp. Young lovers is worse because it's drawing attention to how old you are and how you're an old person who shouldn't be saying such things. I can think of a word that would go before lovers that would make it palatable and it is meat. Okay. That's, I hear meat lovers and I say like, when, where, where?

I'm there. How much? Please no bacon. Please no Canadian bacon. Please, that's just ham you can't trick me. Do you guys want a yahoo? Hit me. This yahoo was sent in, oh man, I got a lot of good ones.

When you take a week off and maybe we should switch to bi-weekly like adventure zone because we get so much goods. No, we shouldn't even joke about that. Okay. How about this one sent in by Ed Bauman. Thank you. It's yahoo answers user John who asks, How do I stop people on Facebook from taking credit of my food picks?

I love sharing food picks. And I am afraid people will save my pictures and pretend they made the food. How can I avoid this from happening? Hold on. There's a real Chamon twist in there. Yeah. And that it's not happening. It's an imaginary.

It's not happening actively. He's just afraid it will happen. This is not a thing that happens. So here's what you do. I'll just solve it for you. No big deal. Every time you make a dish, you write your name on it and catch up. Jacobs.

Make some omurice. You're on some omurice shit, Justin. I'm so happy that you're watching Terrace House. It fills me in a spiritual way. You're right. You're right. Fills, fills food picks. And I'm assuming food is pH just to keep or fill us with an F.

It's your call. And actually picks is also pH but pronounced differently. Yeah. With three X's and you just like write fills food picks and catch up on every one. So they'll never be able to take that from you. And we all agree that if you post a food picture, you're actually only doing that for yourself. Like you don't actually think anyone else in the world is going to look at the

food you ate and appreciate it. It's so like in a year, you can look back and be like, damn, that was a good sandwich. It's savage. No, it's savagery because like the only response that sometimes I'll post picks of blue apron meals that come out, especially picturesque. And the only response I ever get is like, ah, fuck, I'm so hungry. Yeah.

I was like, oh no, because that will only, I didn't mean to make you, I'm sorry. I was just sharing this great food pic. I like, I like seeing it though. I like seeing it. I have certain friends on Instagram and coworkers that, you know, they live in New York and so they're eating good food all the time. And I just follow them on Instagram because it's like, whoa, I didn't even know Robin could do that.

That looks good as hell. Well done. Like I think of those people in my mind like that I don't know very well, but I follow them on Instagram and all they post is good food picks. I'm like, that's a cool person because they eat good food all the time. They are living very, very right. Do you know has the best that you know who's the best at that? Who?

Mr Aziz Ansari. Oh yeah. Well, yeah, he's living the dream. He's, he's always food picks are on there. They're very good stuff. But how do I stop people on Facebook from taking credit of my food picks? Is the real question? Because I'll be honest, I've, we've all done it.

I saw my friend Susan put up a pic of ribs and I was like, my ribs. You're going to need it like a micro dot, like something hidden within the photo that if you zoom in 12 times, like proves that it was yours. And then like, that's your secret watermark that they'll never know to remove. Or you had something embarrassing in the background. If you know your friend, if you know your friend, you know, Jerica is going to steal it, is going to steal your food picks. And she's done it before.

I made a watercress salad and she stole it. She said, this is Jerica's watercress salad. Then you put up a pic, a food pic and it's like, here's some turkey burgers I made and they turned out really great. Jerica's like, my turkey burgers. You delete your picture and then you comment on Jerica's picture and say like, what's that in the background? It's a little turd.

Nice. You hit a little turd in the background of the picture and she didn't see it. That she didn't do it. Oh, but then her shit goes viral quite literally. Yeah. And she becomes famous, but she becomes famous. Well, I don't want her to become, no, I'm just trying to teach her like a, like a lesson about stealing.

But then everyone hates her and you've ruined Jerica's life. No, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. You did. You did. Griffin, her life is ruined. She can't get a job now. Can't you just call out the XF data?

Just like I'm checking the location stamp on this photo and oh, that's weird. It was taken at my aunt Jackie's house. I didn't realize that you guys were so close together. That's so weird. Or unfortunately, Justin, the problem is, is that that can be faked. You actually have to take the picture before you post it, print it out, mail it to yourself. Don't open the envelope, but once you receive the envelope, don't open it. Then you can post it.

And that, I think that works in any court of law. You know that legally that doesn't work. It doesn't hold up in court unless you write the jig is up on the envelope because that way imagine like you post a food pic that you stole and then you get an envelope in the mail. It just says the jig is up or like you're in a court and the judge is like, anybody have any evidence? I think there's not. And then you stand up at the back of the court and you just have this huge envelope that says

the jig is up. I'm going to give a little bit of change there. You have addressed the envelope to the court, to the judge. Yeah. And they get delivered and delivered by someone running and going, wait, hold on, before you rule, I didn't have this letter for you, judge. PO Box Court, C.O. Judge, the jig is up, colon evidence. New, new shocking evidence.

It's important you write new shocking evidence on there because you got to entice him into opening it. If it looks boring, the judge probably won't even check it out. Don't put that or residence shit on there or that judge will never open it. Love, love Reggie. Why is this saying, why did you put love Reggie on the envelope? The open is just full of like glitter, but also the picture of your food. Why does it say on the back?

Why does it say me undies? Well, I reuse the envelope. Okay. They have a nice environment. It's resealable. I don't know what you want from me. Why did they make me undies? Why is it resealable?

I'm not going to put my underpants back in there. Me undies, I love you. You know this. I'm wearing you now and you are literally all I own in the underwear game. You've got your underwear game so strong. Why does the package that you come in, reseal? I'm not going to, I don't think I'm going to need that one again. I don't think I'm going to, no, no, put it, put it, you,

I'm going to put you in the booboo box. Here's another question. I just recently moved into an apartment with four of the girls. While I was putting my kitchen things away on move-in day, I noticed that one of my roommates has a ridiculous amount of cheers themed dishware as in they all have the cheers TV show logo on them. I'm not even joking. There are so many cheers and blazing cups,

plates and bowls that they're taking over all of our cabinets. How can I tell my roommate I'd rather not have, I'd rather have some more conservative dishware than a full tribute to Frazier Crane. Cheerful in Columbus is who this is from, but I'm going to say a doofus. This is from a doofus because I would be so happy every single day of my life if everybody knew my cups,

because they, they knew that I had cheers. There is no TV show that I would, I would find this an unacceptable like arrangement for, like they, I cannot fit like Boston, I have all my plates and cups have Boston legal logos on it. Never seen a fucking episode on it. I was going to say Boston comments. Oh shit.

All, all of them rescue 911, never seen the program. I haven't seen the program, but I'll come on over. I've got a story to tell. It's amazing. That's, I'm so jealous. What, how fantastic. That is fantastic. Okay.

Here's my theory as to what has happened here. This person, they went to, let's say Goodwill, and they saw like a cheers mug or like a set of four cheers glasses. And they thought that was ironic to have those in their bar wear set. They had those at home. Then grandma came over and visited.

They gave them a glass, right? Of water in the cheers cup. Grandma goes, oh, they like cheers. Good cheers. Yeah. You're a norm head too, huh? And then that's all they're getting for like the next eight Christmases.

It's all cheers memorabilia. I just had a great realization. Now that the information about our TV show is public, we can tell this slam dunk cheers story. Hell yeah. So we're in Boston. This isn't a great, I don't, this is a fun, it's a fun story for us.

I wouldn't call it a slam dunk story. Well, you haven't even heard me tell it. Oh, you're right. You'll do a good job. I found the drama in it and I can, I can twist it. Anyway, so we're at, we're staying at the hotel and we're looking for places to go nearby. And our showrunner, JD Yamato,

took a train in six hours to come to us in Boston to talk to us about the TV show because we're going to like have a meeting about what we want this TV show to be like. So JD shows up and he's like, guys, where are we going? He's from New York. He doesn't, you know, know the cool places. And Travis is like, I got a place.

So we start walking a lot and it is beyond sweltering. I mean, it is over a hundred degrees, absolutely miserable. And we've walked maybe six blocks before Travis reveals to us that we're going to cheers. We walk another 20 minutes conservatively. And we have not, we cannot find the place and we're just kind of wandering for a little while. And JD says, boy, I hope that you guys really like cheers

to make this worth it. And Travis reveals that he has not actually ever watched cheers, which Griffin echoes and then I double echo. Yeah, I missed cheers. But no, actually none of us have watched cheers. And he was very, very disappointed at us. Fast forward to us actually finding cheers and we go downstairs and it was too crowded.

So we stole a pen and left. They said a pizza place. They said it's a 100 hour wait. And I said, what's my name? And they said, I don't know. And I said, fuck you, bye. Well, we did get our picture in front of cheers. They do.

They do have a person there that takes your name to put in your reservation. That must be the worst job on planet Earth. You are hearing this name, please. Don't you know it already? Like every, like literally 20 times a day. That's that person's entire existence. That's worse.

I'd rather, I'd rather clean the shitters and cheers than be the person who greets people. I don't know. I was in there. Someone every day is just rolling. Wrecking cheers and kidding. This place is an iconic TV landmark. I've been saving up my dumb skis all week for tea and bathroom.

You never think that when people yell norm, it may be a warning that he's about to go in there and just strip my in the potty. In a really savage way. He's had a long work day. He's just gonna, he's just gonna have a terrible, terrible episode in there every day. I'm gonna go, this, later this year,

me and my wife are taking a trip to Seattle. I'm gonna shoot a Duke in the Grey's Anatomy Hospital. Fuck yeah. I've been, I shot Dukes in major landmarks in all 50 of these American states. I couldn't get in the San Francisco house from, from fucking full house, but I sure did it in the backyard.

Hey, you know the co-ed bathroom. Me and Comet, both shit in the back yard. You know the co-ed bathroom in Alley McBeal? Yep, dumped in it. Dumped there. Name a bathroom and a TV show. I'll tell you if I dumped there. A dumped in John Adams High.

A dumped at Bayside. I dumped in, I dumped in two Tardises. I'd do two of them. Two of them. Fucking fucking Capaldi. Best day of my life. Dumped in Dr. Number Two's Tardis. It was great.

No real good. Carolyn was in the city, but Devon was in the shitter and he had his way. Hey, I was inside Veronica's closet. I took a dump in it. I left a major Torkelson in that. Growing pains. I hear you, my man.

I had some of my own in there. Or like going pains, because I ate a lot of roughage. This is my new favorite character. Hey, guys, good news. The Patty Duke show writes itself. I left a dirty little liar lying right on the floor. Dear Matt Greining, I have a weird request for you.

I need you to draw me. I need this, please. Please, this is my white whale. Oh, shit. Another yahoo? Yes, please. Do you think the third rock from the sun toilet flush is weird? Like all space and aliens and stuff?

Oh, hell, yeah, too. That show fucking is so funny. Here's a good yahoo and it was sent in by Morgan. Morgan Davy. Keep it wavy, Morgan Davy. Thank you. It's yahoo answers user WonderBob asks, I need to fake like I've smoked pot before.

Here's the sitch. I'm going to hang out with my friend tomorrow. He's a bit of a stoner. He's under the impression that I'm a regular smoker of pot. I am not, but in all likelihood, I will smoke pot at his house tomorrow, so I need to be able to act like I do it regularly. Help.

First of all, I'm glad you came to us. Don't, don't, don't, weed, weed is not for me. Is what they tell you to say. How do you pretend like, oh, this, oh, this good, this good thing? Oh, this stuff? Oh, thanks. How do I start it? I'm just kidding.

I know how to start it. You know what that, you know what the thing is about that? The best thing about this is that when it comes to weed, as I, as it's been explained to me by many young people, because I, I wouldn't know. Yeah, like from, like comedy movies, like comedy movies and such and, you know, pamphlets I've read. It's, it's, there's so many different, I believe it's called

strains, different varieties. And different ways that people smoke them that like, all you have to say is like, oh, how do you do it? Oh, oh, that's not, that's not what I learned. Oh, I rub it, I rub it on my fucking eyes. So I put a, I put a stick on the end and rub it back and forth real fast, like on survivor when they're trying to start a fire. Is that not, I kind of get it going.

Like that, not what you do. And those scenes where they smoke weed on survivor. Because the fact better is everybody's self-conscious about how they smoke weed. Everybody. Even like the person who's not gonna have a jillion times. I think that you're probably wild. I think that may be the dumbest thing you've ever said. Yeah, you don't think that everyone,

you don't think that everyone who has ever smoked weed is constantly looking for a better way to do it. YouTube.com going right now. You're coming with me, Travis. Cool weed tricks. Okay, let me rephrase. 98% of the people who smoke weed are constantly. 66,500 people are saying, check out my good stuff.

Okay, have you met people? 6,500 people. That can't be all the people using weed. A lot of these are compilations. Wait, so, inflate that number. I have news for you, Travis. If people who are smoking weed are regularly spending that time worrying about how they're smoking it,

they're smoking very bad marijuana. And they should probably get some different ones. Because as far as I understand, you're smoking weed to do exactly the opposite of what you're describing. Yes, Justin, because no one's ever smoked weed and then gotten nervous. Come on. No, I'm not saying nervous.

I'm saying that what you said is a ludicrous thing like people who smoke weed a lot are like, I know I could be doing this better anyway. Well, like I said, I've never done it before because I'm a good, good boy. Yeah. And Naughty, if you're listening, I've never. I'm afraid of this stuff.

Yeah, it's bad for me is what I've heard. What if I die? I just assume that everyone must be trying to do it better. Or else why would they keep doing it? Doesn't, aren't they trying to master it? Like, you know, like that 10,000 hours Malcolm Gladwell shit, everybody smokes weed to get better at it. You guys also look at Malcolm Gladwell and just think like,

I bet he parties. I bet he parties. He's an outlier, if you know what I mean. I also like, it's a criminal crime. What? What? It's a criminal crime to do it. Not everywhere.

Not for everybody. It's, I mean, it is for me. So it should be for everybody, but that's beside the point. But like, I don't go around and like take other people's cars and like have, now I have that one. Now I have this Pontiac Grand Prix. You know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't walk into Burger King and take all the food

in there without paying for it. I guess, I guess that makes sense. Although from what I understand, if I did have one of those, those goobies, then I probably would go to Burger King and eat all the food there because of, I guess you get super hungry? Yeah. And then you steal a car to get to Burger King because you're so hungry from smoking the gooby.

Yeah, and I don't want to crash my car because I'm all goobed out. Hold on, there's somebody at the door. Oh, just, are you sure? I just read it on, okay. Guys, I just got an official note from the president. Oh. And it says that we're all dads now. Okay.

And it's actually legally been, it says here, legally been too long since you smoked weed to be able to joke about it on your podcast and have anything that approaches relevance or comedy. I mean, it's just, and it's got his stamp note. He stamped it. I mistake, it is from Joe Biden, which does that. Oh, that makes sense. That tracks.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That tracks. Because I was thinking like president Barack Hussein Obama, a lot of people forget the Hussein of support, that he's busy. Like he's got a lot of stuff going on right now. Because he's like, he's like scrambling to like, what can I do to like hold this thing together?

But Joe, Joe bags. Joey back at donuts. You know, he's, I would expect this from him. So no more, we can't do it anymore. We can't weed jokes anymore. Can't do weed jokes. He says if you smoke it again, the timer resets. Oh, wait, hold on.

Sorry, hold on. Oh, sorry, my door. Oh, I got a letter from Joe Biden too. Oh, that if we ever want to do another weed question again, we'll have to do an all high episode. Oh, where we all get to. Okay, I have a child, I have a child though. Listen, I do too.

Listen, I'm right there with you. We're all on the same page. I don't know. This is just letting people know that maybe we need to take a weed joke break for a while. Okay, but we can't joke about weed anymore. But in like in like 2022, when it's all. Yeah.

No, no, no, I'm saying like in 2022, my boy, my very special boy is going to be like, this is for him now. Henry, that was, daddy was joking. Daddy, daddy was joking. It was never, it was never real. It was all for jokes. For the audience.

For fun, for daddy's just having fun. Daddy's just having fun with his friends, Han. Honey. Go back and watch some more of Barney too. The sequel to Barney. The Ronchi-Edgy sequel of Barney. Gritty remake of Barney that we have in the future. This is my brother, Barno.

I've got a gun. What? Barno, no. What? Build the wall. What? Barney. You shouldn't have a gun.

No, it's cool if you know how to use it. Barno. I'm telling you, man. Dig these crazy guns. Pry it out of my tuffy purple talons. Let's go to the money zone. Oh, wait. I have somebody in my door.

God almighty. Some Thai food I ordered earlier. Well, if you want to pay for it, we're going to need to go to the money zone. Our first sponsor this week is Trunk Club. Travis, you always do such a good job talking about Trunk Club. Can you repeat the magic?

Oh, do you mean tell about the best pants I've ever owned in my entire life? That's the one. Here's the thing. Let me tell you a little story. No, it's not a story. That's not true. A story is like a thing that happened.

This is more observations than anything else. If you're like me, then you're the type of person who looks at clothes and thinks, how the hell am I supposed to know what clothes are worth it? Because, yeah, there's options where I could pay like $100 for a shirt, but that just seems like I'm flushing my money away.

I don't know anything about shirts. Well, let me tell you something. I bought some pants from Trunk Club, and they are, without a doubt, no joke, no exaggeration, no smoke, the best pants I've ever owned in my life. There are the jeans. How many pockets I got?

A billion. No, like the normal amount, like five pockets. Interesting. But the thing is, is the material, the way they fit, the way they look, these are what adult jeans are. This is adult jeans. I'm wearing adult, these are adult jeans, Griffin.

These aren't my little boy jeans anymore. I still like the boy jeans, though. They make me feel like I can go out in the yard and play around, and I don't even worry about it. But boy jeans aren't an everyday jean, Griffin. Sometimes you have to go to like, I don't know, the store, and you want to look like an adult

and not have people tell you where the candy aisle is. That's actually a great service that they can provide for me, thank you. Sometimes that is actually nice. That's a really good time saving tool. Boy jeans have special candy pockets, so this is actually a perfect arrangement. What you do love like you're in the market for a pick-a-mix.

What you should do. What you got to do then is you got to go to trunk club, and you need to talk to your personal stylist at trunk club and say, I'm looking for a jean I can wear to the candy aisle of the grocery store, and I guarantee you, they will give you that perfect jean.

Maybe it's got lollies already stuck to it. And they have like- Two people know you're a sugarhead. And big cargo pockets for putting all of your bridge mix. Hey, Travis, I love you. That's theft, my dude. No, no, no. What's you buy it, Justin?

And then you just eat out of the pockets all day. Okay. Those are your all day snack pants. Oh, these are my candy pants. So here's what you're going to do. You're going to go to trunkclub.com slash my brother. You're going to type in your measurements. You're going to share your likes, dislikes,

and talk about the things that you need to close for. And trunk club is going to send you a trunk of clothing straight to your door. It's going to be hand-picked by your very own personal stylist. And you keep what you like, and you send back what you don't, and you only pay for what you keep. It's a great deal,

and they're going to send you amazing stuff. I've done it. Justin's done it. And you end up with amazing clothes that enter the rotation into your favorite stuff. And the best thing is it's not a subscription service. It's not something that you have to worry about being charged for every month.

You only pay for it when you do it, and you only do it when you need it. So go to trunkclub.com slash my brother, and check it out. And if you're in Dallas, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, D.C., or Charleston, South Carolina, you can go into one of their clubhouses and work with the stylist right there in person.

Try on the clothes right there, and have a very special clothing experience. Yeah, so go to trunkclub.com slash my brother, and get on board. I want to tell you about Warby Parker. We are also sponsored in part this week by Warby Parker. It's a new concept, and I wear it. You've probably heard of what they do.

It's just the best way to buy fashion-forward, affordable glasses. You go online, you pick out five pairs of glasses, and they ship these frames to your home as part of the home try-on program. These prescription glasses start at 95 bucks, including lenses, and you can get both glasses and sunglasses. So they send you five frames, you put them on,

you see what works, see what doesn't, and then you get to keep the ones that you like. And it's really fast. You get a prepaid package. It's easy to ship back to the ones that you don't want. And they have really slick looking sunglasses. Not only that, for every pair of sunglasses that are sold, they distribute a pair of glasses to someone in need.

So it's a really cool company, and again, you can get UV-protected sunglasses starting at 95 bucks, or you can get those sunglasses with a prescription for 175 bucks as the minimum price there. But if you go to warbyparker.com slash mybrother, all one word, you can order your free home try-ons today. You get five frames to try on. You mail the frames back, you choose your favorite pair,

and have your prescription added and order. It's completely risk-free with free shipping all around. Just go to warbyparker.com slash mybrother, all one word, to begin your free home try-on experience today. Justin, did you laugh in the middle of that because you read on to our Jumbotrons? No, I don't ever read ahead. I just take it as it comes, you know?

Okay. Play it as it lies. Because I was reading them and appreciating them immensely. First off, I just want to say we put Jumbotrons for 2017 for my brother, my brother, me, and the Adventure Zone on sale, and they all sold out, I think, the first day. So you're all incredible. Yeah, they're all sold out.

So thank you so much for that. That's fantastic. So we don't deserve you, as always, no new information there. This first message is for 30-year-old Lizzie, and it's from 29-year-old Lizzie. So dope. It says, hey, Lizzie, it's me, past Lizzie. I know you're 30, and you're mourning the slow and unbearable loss of youth,

but it's okay. You're still kind of young. If you're a hobbit, you wouldn't have even come of age yet. In your 30th year, you'll graduate, get married, you'll up your max fund donation. Thank you. You'll continue to be kick-ass, PS, I hate you, Ron. And congratulations to 30-year-old Lizzie.

She's been kicking it that way since the first or second week of August, which is a little suspect if that's your birthday, Lizzie. I think you probably know when that falls. You could probably zero in. You could probably zero in a little bit more specifically, Liz, but maybe in the year 30, you'll be a little bit more punctual, and you'll finally lock down when your birthday is. But happy birthday to you, Lizzie.

Oh, you're going to do this next one? Well, you guys did both of the ads. Oh, yeah, dude, let her rip. Yeah. Here it comes. I got a message for Dan Craig, and it's from CatComfort, and the message is this. Dan, oh, super sorry I didn't stop in Chicago that last time I drove through Illinois. I was like right there, and I just kept on trucking.

My bad. But for realsies, thanks for being my very great pal for almost 20 years. Love, Katrina, and that is very. I get it. You don't want to fuck with the Dan Ryan expressway. You get your trucking through Illinois. You're like, I'm going to make a pit stop in Chicago. That's a 14-hour trip with all the traffic on I-94.

No thanks, I say. No thank you. I mean, I'll go, I want a chili dog as much as the next guy. I'd love to get some of that deep dish, but no way, it's not worth it. They should have a deep dish place on the highway that you could just drive through. You should be able to roll your fucking lindo down on the Dan Ryan expressway, and they just launch one right through the whole fucking passenger side. I'm Brian.

And I'm Aaron, and we host Throwing Shade, a political comedy podcast that's somehow horribly offensive and socially conscious. If you want to know what it sounds like if the news drinks straight vodka, check us out on Thursdays on Max Fun. And we're the first Max Fun podcast to be turned into a TV show, so check that out January 17th on TV Land. Throwing Shade, politics, pop culture, wigs for days. Do you guys want to, or did we just do a yahoo?

I think it's time for a regular question, yeah? Yeah, a regular question. Here it come. Badging past security today. A security guard, old lady commented, you always look sad. I had no response to this. I just shook my head and kept going. I'm not entirely sure I've ever been seen this person before.

Was there a better way I should have handled this? That's for just trying to get to my workplace in Tucson. Oh, man. The best way is just you're going, I'll have your job and keep walking. I have seen trailers. Have you guys seen these trailers? For, I think it's a Will Smith movie and he gets visited by these ghosts, but one of them's like death and one of them's like love,

one of them's like God or whatever. But one of them isn't, I think it's called like collateral happiness or something like that? Something accidental, yes. Accidents maybe? Hap, joy. Maybe it's one of those situations where it's just sort of like an avatar of a, like a particular virtue or God or something like that.

And it's just like, buck up. I actually, I'm going to take your example once that further, Griffin, and say that this person is that classic example of like in a movie preview, where they have that one line that kind of conveys to the audience everything they need to know about that character. Where it's just like, you're always so stressed. When are you going to take time for you? Yeah, that's a good point, Travis.

Was this like exposition? Were you in the middle of exposition about your character for a movie that's being filmed about you in secret? I watched while you were sleeping last night, and I'm pretty sure this person was in the movie. Wait, hold on. Did you just do that ironically because you were not sleeping because of the baby? Yeah, I just wanted to watch something with sleeping in the title.

Just to remember what it was like when you were sleeping. I watched that movie. Sleepless in Seattle? No, thank you. Got a belly full of that. I would rather watch Peter Gallagher in a fucking coma. Push me on the train tracks, my love. Please.

Wait, hold on. I don't think Sandra Bullock pushes Peter Gallagher onto the train track so she could pretend to be, I haven't seen it in a while, but I don't think she does it. It goes, this will do it. You're probably one of the few people that ever watched that film, and I, Peter Gallagher, envy sleep in his coma bed. Like, oh, God, that would be such a choice.

Nice, so dope. Real nice, just snoozing whatever you want, huh? Because he wakes up, and he wakes up, and Sandra Bullock's his fiance. And in the movie, he's like, I don't remember any of this happening. I don't remember this being my life. But it's like, Peter Gallagher, you just got a bunch of sleep, and you woke up, and you're married to Sandy. Ah, God, good flick, though, good flick, though.

Peter Gallagher, she doesn't, we're supposed to be fucking brooding for Bill Pullman. Bill Pullman, what an A-level cast. Bill Pullman, no thanks. Oh, she ended up with Bill Pullman, everything's okay. She could have Pete Gallagher, and she had him. No, okay, listen, but she didn't, Griffin. She didn't know Pete Gallagher. She got to know Bill Pullman, that's the whole point.

She knew he had this whole made-up fantasy. She knew he had one nut. What else do you need? I haven't seen that movie in so long. Yeah, it gets wild. She pushes a man onto a fucking train track. She doesn't push him, Griffin. Yeah, and there's a few story beats that involve his nut.

His one nut. It resolves, his one nut actually resolves a conflict in the first act. This is not a joke. What was the question? Yeah, exactly. The old way you said you always look sad. Yeah, this stinks. I don't think this is a good thing to say to anybody.

Hey, you always look sad. No, I don't think you should say that. Cool, I don't know what to do with that information. This falls under the same, like, if anyone ever says to another human being, like, you should smile more, like this kind of like, we all just need to stop commenting on the facial expressions made by other people. Because for all you know, that person is just really contemplative, like, all the time. But also, more importantly, fuck you.

Yeah, also that, like, you don't get to dictate how anyone else should look, ever. That idea of like, if I want to frown all the time, and like, that's a mud-deal, like, go fuck yourself. Unless, unless. Of course, she's got a touch by an angel. Oh, we're in a Roman Downey situation. You've never seen this security guard before. So either, it's her first day, and you said she's an old, what, old lady.

And if we take that like, there's like an 85-year-old woman. Angel. Angel, right? She's not starting a new career in security guard. You know what I mean? Like, put the fucking clues together. You gotta, if you want to, if you want to spot an angel, you gotta, you gotta follow the clues. Because they're wily. So all old people are angels.

No, I'm saying, yes. And sleep with an old person, and they're not at church. And they're probably an angel, ironically. You know, and while you were sleeping, there's a, there's another story beat where there is, she gets into Peter Gallagher's nice apartment, and the doorman is an old man, and he's like, I don't know, I don't know, you get the fuck out of here. And first of all, it's like, don't be mean to Sandra Bullitt.

But he, she's like, oh, I'm Peter Gallagher's fiance. And the doorman is like, oh, sorry, I'm new. So like, now I'm starting to put the clues together. This is another old person starting a new career in the security industry. I'm thinking that the, I'm thinking we got a fucking email stranger than fiction style from characters in the movies while you were sleeping. You think that we're getting emailed by the characters in the movie? Well, of all the podcasts, you're gonna, if you're gonna email one podcast.

I definitely would go to ours if I was a character while you were sleeping. I would email our podcast. I really like sleepy Griffin a lot. They're just, they're just scrolling through the iTunes charts, they go way past the 20s, and they duck into the 30s, and they're like, I think I found my one. And they're like, what's Chris Hardwick up to? No, he's way too popular.

Two dumb queens. No, no, who are these assholes? My brother, my brother, me you say. They'll free me from this celluloid prison. The description of their show sounds like the rabblings of a madman. I think I'm gonna just go ahead and email these brothers I've never heard of before. That's like a message. Like you would be, you would have better luck writing a note to Mark Maron

and throwing it into the ocean. Like I'm getting your message out there. It's such a random play. Listen, Peter Boyle, we lost him 10 years ago. His ghost is inside of while you were sleeping and it listens to podcasting. He's a big fan and he sent me an email last night. Read between the lines, Justin. Read between the fucking lines, Justin.

So I think we all know that that's the situation. Let's move on to a good yahoo. Or should we just do another question? We got fucking other questions. So many questions. Hey brothers three, I went to a restaurant with my family today, but didn't order anything because I was very hungry. The waiter seemed very concerned with this.

He kept asking if I was sure if I wanted to keep my menu and order later and whatnot. I said, no, I'm fine with just water. As he checked up on us or getting ready to leave, he offered me a ginger ale to go to help me feel better. I'm not sick or anything, but I did accept the offer nodding and smiling as he wished for me to get better soon. Two questions. Am I good?

And does my disheveled nature really look that pathetic? And that's from pale and mild and for a main. Okay, this is my shit. This is a perfect follow up to that last question. Because this person was like, are you okay? You look, you look sick. No, I'm fine. Are you sure you look sick?

No, I'm telling you, I'm good. Okay, here's a thing I'm going to give you to fix this perceived problem. If this security guard had been like, you always look sad, here's a pack of Pokemon cards. That would be a fucking horse of a different color entirely. I'm going to sell it to you for half a sticker price. There might be like a hollow foil in there. You don't fucking know.

Gut check, gut check. Um, how does this, how does this waiters activities or wait, waiter? Yes. How did, how did their activities treat you? Their decisions treat you? Because I think this is, I think this is a nice little gesture. Well, there's, there's, okay, I'll tell you this here, but it is either a nice little gesture

or you need someone who sees a potential like seat filler who's not spending money that they would get a tip from. Then why the, why the ginger ale? Because they're trying to do something nice for the table to engender themselves like with the table. So the people were like, that waiter was so nice and conscientious and really cared about. I'm not saying that's bad.

I'm saying this is a conscientious waiter who's trying to do right by the table. It's a really cynical way to look at this. Well, I've worked in a lot of restaurants. And I have to say you do nice things. In terms of, are you good? Someone offered you a ginger ale and you took it. Listen, I've been alive for 36 years.

I cannot count any, I cannot summon any moments where if someone had been like, Hey, do you want a tall, frosty ginger ale to go? I would have said, no, I don't think I do want that. Because I usually, yeah, pretty much all the time. Like if I had a cold ginger ale right now, just enjoy it, my ledger, that would go down so good. Okay, but can we take a side note too?

Because Justin, you're 100% right. I cannot remember a time of my life in which I thought I needed a ginger ale until someone offered it to me, be it a flight attendant or a waiter. And only then did I realize, yes, exactly what I need in this moment is a ginger ale. Unless it's fucking...

And you can never find it when you need it. If you wanted ginger ale, there's not going to be any around. So you just got to take it when it comes. Unless it's a can of the dry. And then you say, thank you for the glass. And you pick it up and you walk to the bathroom and you pour it in the toilet. You pour it in the toilet or the urinal

or the sink or the garbage can, just like get rid of it. Is this that Austin Snobbery I've been hearing about? The Austin Ginger Ale Snobbery? No, it's just like that shit, that shit doesn't taste like ginger at all. Give me a fucking... Are you a C-Grums or nothing? C-Grums or Vernors is...

Well, Vernors is a little too sharp for me. I want it spliced. Give me that splice. It's a splice. A little too much splice for me. I want that ginger as a splice. Canada drives the only one where I can find it in diet. And I'm drinking it every single night with Brandy. So I need diet.

I don't need the extra cacals. I'm actually, right now, having a ginger beer and whiskey and bourbon. And ginger beer might be what I've been craving all these years, but I've been having a ginger ale, which now I say it out loud. Is a ginger ale a form of ginger beer? Discuss. Is there a ginger locker?

No, this is bad. First of all, no. And second of all, I don't want to discuss it. This is dead air. This is dead air. That angel is listening right now, and she's just like, I've made a huge mistake. Peter Peter Boyle is like, unsubscribe.

I'm going to go get a fucking deep dish pizza. I don't care if they read my shit or not. I hate this. Peter Boyle's role in that movie, by the way, is I think he's like a grandpa of Peter Gallagher. And he fucking knows. Like he knows the secret that they're not really engaged. And he lets it go so far.

They like, they like are about to get married. And Peter Boyle's like sitting there knowing this dark secret. It's like, say something, Peter. And he doesn't. Because he loves those young lovers, Griffin. He just likes seeing the young lovers. Oh, you tried to sneak it in there, huh? Young lovers getting married.

I have a good yahoo, and I'd like to do it. Okay. It's from Nicholas Potter sent this one in. Thank you, Nicholas. It's an anonymous user, but we're going to call him Peter Boyle. What's up, buddy? Thanks for listening. Were podcasts around in 2006?

They were. Okay. Yeah. This Peter Boyle asks, how dangerous would I be in a fight? Just for the fun of it. How dangerous do you think I would be? Here are some tips. I'm going to get a big drink of water because this is going to be a lot.

Here are some tips. Some, some stats. Okay. So let's divide this in some factors first. Speed, strict, and strategy. I think stragged is strength. Yes. Okay.

Okay. So I'm very fast and I'm good on reflexes. As for my stragged, I can do 50 push-ups without doing workout for a while. When I used to workout, I was able to do 80, even a 100 once. And as for my strategy, in fighting the objective is simple. Put the enemy on the floor. To me, there are no rules in fighting unless it is an official fight like boxing. But if it's not,

then I ain't got no rules. I'll try to get a hot the opponent furs like, let him, let him throw first punch, duck, punch him in the gut at max stragged, and then get right next to him and kick on the side of his leg, breaking or deslocating his knee. Then it's a punch on the back of the head and even kicking to the ground if needed. And last but not least, kicking in the ribs. Of course, there are so many ways this could go wrong, but it's an example.

I rarely have been in fights, but I have tough a lot about it. And so I somehow mentalized for it. Of course, I will still be nervous, but if I decide not to hesitate, then I won't. So yeah, pretty much is as soon as I managed to buy myself some time after giving a hit, it'll aim for the weak spots and make my opponent fall to the ground. That was like a sidebar between. So anyway, where was I? Pretty much as soon as I managed to buy myself some time after getting a hit,

it'll aim for the weak spots and try to make my opponent fall to the ground and beat them up. As for weapons, that's for another question. So what do you think update? Oh, I forgot to mention my abs are really hard. So if enforcing them, I can take a punch to them. It's like having armor. It's really not. It's really not.

Unless it's like so good, your abs are so good against like knives. Like they're that hard. I want to watch a video. No, don't. I don't want to watch a fight video of this person and this specific person, though, like walking up to a fight once they've gotten over their hesitation of worry. I wish them the best. Like I wish them the best.

Go with go with go with God. Stand your truth. I don't want to watch this person. I don't want to watch two people fight as much as like everybody on Facebook is like, watch these two people fight at the. I'm like, can I tell you people fight? Griffin, hear me out. Hear me out.

There is a specific line in this that makes me want to watch it. And that is when they say, when they throw a punch, I'll duck. Yeah. Well, that's the first step. That's like a really amazing like, oh, no, I have a plan for punches. No, I know what you're thinking. What if they punch you? Well, let me stop you there because I have a strategy

for if they punch me, I just won't let them. My head won't be there. They'll see my head fair, but then a split second later, my head will be down. How can you punch what you can't see? A punch? No, not an issue. How can people keep losing fights? Honestly, just don't let them punch you.

Just don't let them punch you. This guy was watching boxing matches just like, what are you doing? No, no, your head was up and shoot me down. I don't want this guy to get into a fight. I just want him to be in the sidelines in a new Rocky movie. I want him to be ringside. A rock. He putt.

You've got to move. Listen, listen, if he's going for a punch, you've got to move that noggin, my man. Down. I'm going to punch you. No, down. If he gets enough of those punches, then you're going to lose the boxing fight. No, flex your abs. Flex them.

The other coach is like, oh, shit. That's a great idea. Hey, Derek, don't let him, don't let him do it. Don't let him do it. Just move it out. Yes. And this boxing was in there forever. Just when you see a punch coming, don't be there to receive it.

Well, where should I be? Just left or right or down or up. Jump over. Here's my strategy. I jump over all the punches. Like Mario. Like Mario does. I'm one of the Mario Brothers.

I'm one of the Super Mario Brothers. I'm Wah Derek. And I jump over your punches. Nice try. Isn't it a shame that if you were Mario and you wanted to apply your skills in the boxing ring, that it would work exactly once and then no one would ever box you again? Yeah. Because like you jump on somebody's head and it does work and it's amazing.

And the refs are like, we don't have a rule against it. And you're like, well, I guess I'm in for a new career of boxing. No more squishing mushrooms for me. But then you try to find another opponent. And they're like, no, I've pretty much got your number. You want to jump on my head. So I'd really rather fight anybody else, honestly. That's actually just why he had to resort to just being a boxing referee.

True, yeah. Yeah. That's how that career change worked out. That's how it happened. Folks, thank you so much for listening to our podcast, My Brother, My Brother, Me. A few things we want to hit on real quick. The first is it's that time of year again. It's time for the My Brother, My Brother, Me Angels.

If you've listened to our show before in previous candlelight seasons, you know how this works. But let me give you the 30-second elevator pitch. We come from an area called Huntington, West Virginia. And in our region, there is a lot of poverty. And there are people for whom the holidays are not going to be so happy. So our local paper, The Hairless Badge, puts together a list of people with needs throughout our area.

A lot of them children, a lot of them adults with disabilities, elderly folks, whatever, people who aren't going to have a Christmas otherwise, and ask for some small items that they need, toys for some of the kids, or clothes for people who are trying to get work. Can I give just a quick example of a couple of the items used? Sure, yeah. For example, people asking for help with bus passes. People asking for help with winter coats and pots and pans.

Like, these aren't like, frivolous wish list items. These are things that people just need a little help with, to be able to get by and provide for their families and take care of themselves. So if you want to help people in our area, and it means so much to us, we have a website now. Built by some kind listeners that are, is really helping to make this process a lot more manageable, I think.

So thanks to Jeremy and Willem, and everybody who has helped out with this project. It's mbambangels.com is the website. And here's how it works. You go to mbmbangels. You find somebody that you want to help. You call the organization to see if your item is still unclaimed, because there are folks in our area that also see this list.

So you want to make sure you're not double dipping. And if you don't like calling, if you're uncomfortable with that, there are people on our Facebook group that'll do it for you if you just ask. You go there, you claim somebody, you buy the thing, you can buy it on Amazon, just have it shipped to wherever they're at. And you mark them as completed, and that's done. We've had 64% of these gifts, these stockings be filled. And that's amazing, but we really want to try to get everybody.

So if you have a little time and some extra cash, by the way, you can also just donate money. There's some bigger ticket items that people are sort of chipping in on together. You can do that too. The details are on the website. But if you can do that, it really, it will make you feel great, and it really does mean a lot to people. So that website again is mbambangels.com.

So please, if you can, go help out. It means a lot. I also want to say there's another opportunity for giving this holiday season, if you're looking for other ways to help out. Patrick Rothfuss, who is a friend of the show, he's been on an episode before, and it's also just like super cool dude. Good dude. He started a charity called World Builders

that's spearheaded by a bunch of awesome authors, and it supports Heifer International, Mercy Corps, and First Book. Basically, a lot of stuff to help out like kids, kids who need food, kids who need water, kids who need help learning. And what you do is you go and for every $10 you donate, you get entered into a lottery to win cool stuff. So it's mutually beneficial, and you get to do a little bit of good. And right now we have our own fundraising team.

You can go join team mbambambino. Just go to bit.ly forward slash mbambamwb, and maybe consider giving like 10 bucks and helping out. I want to beat all the other fucking teams. I do want to do that too, yes. I want to grind them down into the dirt and make them ashamed. Yeah, I want them to be embarrassed they ever wanted to help anybody. Yeah, that'll teach them.

Take that, you philanthropic assholes. I want to thank John Rodgers in the Long Winters for this sort of team song. It's a departure off the album putting the days to bed. It's a wonderful album that you should go get and buy it as a holiday present for yourself, for your kin, and your friends, or whatever. Also, I want to thank Maximum Fun for having us on the network. It's a really, really great network.

Something we're really enthusiastic about. All the shows on it are super great. You can find them all at maximumfun.org. Or if you want to listen to other podcasts with us or videos with us, go to macaroyshows.com, and you can find all our projects there. I also want to say two more things. One, our candlelight episode is coming up. We actually already recorded our candlelight's live show,

but because that's attached to the TV show, you won't be able to hear that for a while. So we'll still record a candlelight episode so that you have something to listen to over the holidays. Ah, beans. Ah, beans, though. Ah, beans. But we need your candlelight's questions.

So make sure when you mail those in, put candlelight's in the subject line, so it's easy for us to group those all together. Also, we have a Facebook group, which we haven't mentioned in a while. And I think last time I checked, we had over 20,000 members in that Facebook group. Jesus.

Which is humbling. So we have added some new moderators to the Facebook group to kind of help manage that. So I wanted to just say a special thank you to Rachel, Wesley, Stormy, Lucy, and Anthony for taking on roles as moderators of the group so that we don't end up with literally 1,300 people waiting to be led into the group.

So thank you for helping out as moderators. We done? You all want that final? We're done. That's going to do it. All right. Let's find out who was sent in by Shannon Cowell. Thank you, Shannon.

It's by Yahoo! It's your user, Jake McAufel, who asks, Is a shrimp a baby lobster? I'm just a McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad.

Square on the lips. Just say what I want. Are you in need of a shake up? Max Funcon is our annual comedy and creativity festival, and it changes lives. Max Funcon West returns to Lake Arrowhead next June, and Max Funcon East is back in the Poconos next September. Tickets for both are on sale right now.

And they will sell out. Visit maxfuncon.com to buy your tickets today. We can't wait to see you there.