My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 336: Twenty-Something-Teen

Episode Date: January 3, 2017

We spend half this episode coming up with a name for the new year, which is as important an endeavor as we can undergo. Yes, we boned it last year. This time, we're FEELING IT SO HARD. Suggested talking points: THE NAMING OF THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2017, Sriririririracha, The Fushigi Art Patronage

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody and welcome to my brother, my brother, me and advice show for the Modrin era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother, Travis McElroy. And I'm your sweet baby brother, Grover McElroy. Uh, welcome. We made it. First of all, if you're listening to this, we made it.

12.01 a.m. All my skin fell off. New skin, 2017, new fresh skin. We cannot begin this episode in earnest without talking about earnest, scared new year. Scared new year? Is that what you said? That's one of the ones that didn't come out, but it was filmed and edited and just had some post, some like color correction to do, but they just didn't make it out of the theaters because there wasn't a marketing budget for it. And also as Dick was like all over this new year. So we need to talk about what this year is called.

We've had many different suggestions and we need to settle it before we can begin our episode proper. I have some here that I've jotted down. Let me give them to you. I'll just run through them and then we can discuss them all ad nauseam. 20. Even teen restoring balance. 20. Given teen helping when you can. Well, let's talk about the discrete ways in which your suggestions are bad before we move on to like another one. I can't holistically talk about how they're bad. I need to yeah. Oh, okay. I see. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's tear me down bit by bit. New year, new year. 20. Even teen is, I don't think the last year was in balance as much as it was just

extraordinarily bad. And I don't even think that suggesting that like if there had been good stuff, for each bad, for every famous Harry Potter die hard character actor who passed away, if you received a $100 check in the mail, I don't think I don't think that the balance was the issue last year. I think it just stunk. That's fair. That's fair. And that was one of the more esoteric ones. I realized that because restoring balance was that me. I get that. What about 20. Given teen helping when you can. Still doesn't rhyme with seven, does it? Well, we're not, we got to get away from the rise of seven because then our options are 20, 17, which may be it or 20, Kevin teen or 20, Devon teen. Well, this one, this one was

suggested by a listener named Rachel. And I really liked it. 20, Reven teen, kick it into high gear. Yep. Yeah. I feel like we need to get, last year's was a fucking disaster. Building bridges, I think it was too esoteric. It was too abstract. And so people didn't know how the fuck to do it. Even though I thought it was pretty clear, just like be cool for once. Yeah. I thought it was pretty clear, but apparently not. I think our instructions can't just be like rev it up. It has to be like, go donate your money and time to this place. Like go treat your body right with this specific like juice cleanse. What about this one? And this, if you have problems with rhymes, this might bother you, but 20 sweating teen getting fit. That's not even that's not anything.

It's close though. Also, I don't have sweat glands in my body. And you know that. I have a special spray bottle I carry around to spritz myself with. So thank you, Travis. Now I'm thinking about my spritz bottle and all the many, many sort of like social snafus it's gotten me into. Joseph Gordon Levitin, celebrating the works of JGL. This one is achievable. Yeah, we're getting closer. That's what I thought. I wanted something that was like, yeah, you could mark that off a list, you know what I mean? Like I did watch the complete third rock from the sun today and I feel great. Yeah. Well, Travis, this means that you would have to watch and like Looper.

And I don't think that's, yeah. Well, maybe it's time to, you know, give it a second chance and appreciate the amazing work that JGL does in it, even if I don't like the massive plot holes. Well, I have one to suggest. How about this? Hey, all right. 20 Raven teen. We've all got Ravens. Now here is what I said. Here's the thing about it is by the end of the year, everybody's got a sort of pet Raven. So we're talking about a one to one human Raven ratio. Yeah, we got to find a lot of Ravens. We have to bond with them. We have to train them in the ways of old. The bonding has to take place. But 20 Raven teen subtitle, everybody's got Ravens. Everybody's got Ravens. I like it. I'll tell you why. They got long,

smooth beaks. Now, the problem, Justin, is going to be educating the masses on the difference between Ravens and Crows. Yeah. Because I think that that's probably a very common issue with me and everyone else. Well, it's pretty, actually, it's pretty easy to tell the difference. If you see a crow, you think there's a black bird. If you see a Raven, you think, oh, God, something's terribly wrong. Oh, if you see a Raven, it's like, oh, no. Oh, no, what's happened here? This is very bad. Very bad scenario. This is going to be very confusing for Raven Simone, isn't it? Yeah, a little bit. Because it might be very motivating. This is my impression of her in this year at Trader Joe's. Yeah, what did you? Oh, was it?

Okay. Sorry. I thought you were talking to him. It was the bird again. It's okay. It happens a lot this year. Thanks, McElroy Brothers. That's right. What if, what if in the process of 20 Raven team, we discovered that there is actually one Raven for every human, but you have to find like your one, like maybe your Raven lives in like Africa. And it's like, well, there aren't, I don't know where my Raven is. Where's the Raven for Travis? The Raven that is meant to be with you will have to find you because it can fly. Oh, right? I mean, the burning is on the Raven, for sure, to find it's human. But it's not 20 human team. Everyone gets humans, Justin. No, that's not, that's no good. That's no good. What about, what about 20 Bevantine? I like 20

Bevantine. 20 Bevantine is very good because it can be, it lends itself to a party atmosphere. You know, of course. Yeah, but there's people out there who don't, who don't like to enjoy baths. Enjoy cocktail, but the, but there's a flip side. Nobody's drinking enough water. 20 Bevantine, are you, are you watching your water intake? Hey, is it time to cut out those sugary sodas? 20 Bevantine is not about indulgence. It's about analyzation and, and awareness of your beverage consumption. 2017, stay undrated. How about this one? 20 Serpentine. Stay, stay frosty. Like stay on your face, kind of stay on your toes a little bit. Like keep them, it can be a lot of different things, but like keep them guessing. Like they're

gonna be, they're gonna be looking at where you're going and you've got to juke that expectation at every point. So it's not, it's not even like a, it doesn't even have to be associated with like a, a particularly, you know, paranoid worldview or whatever. It's just like, keep them guessing. Keep, keep fucking surprising. Yeah, put that, put that into like a four or five word kind of summary Griffin. 20 Serpentine. Keep them guessing. Keep them guessing. I like that. 20, because this, it could be so many different parts of your life. First of all, if, if the authority's trying to keep you down, you, you can keep them guessing like that, but it can also just be like, if things are feeling a little bit stale and you're in a rut, it's because you've

been zagging for too long. It is time to zig. What about weaving and or bobbing? I mean, I guess if you're playing paintball, I guess if you're playing paintball, then yes, it's like a very good year name because you're here. Sorry, I was just gonna suggest a different one. No, I mean, I feel like I nailed it, but let's see. We'll come back around, Griffin. Yeah, what about, I know I've seen like, this is going to seem like I'm in a bit of a rut, but what about 20 Riventine? Let's all appreciate the excellence equal to mist. Yeah. Now, here's the thing about 20 Riventine. Riventine's a great game. Sure, sure. Everybody knows that and appreciates it. But did you know, but did you know 1997 was the original release of Riven? That's right. We would be marking the

20th anniversary of the excellence equal to mist. Yeah. They did. And that's something we can do. Yeah, that's something we can fucking nobody can build a bridge, but maybe we can all get on fucking steam or God or God downloads and just download. I'd appreciate it. I love this, Justin, because there is a very quantifiable success right here. And that is if by the end of 2017, we effectively get Greenlit a sequel to Riven. If suddenly sales on steam. So many other misgames. So many other misgames. But is there a Riven 2 where it's just like R and then Romanumeral II VEN? But then somebody sees it and they're like, Riven. Well, yeah, because it's a combination of Riven and Soul Reaver. I mean, they're back at Rand Miller is back in the mix. He made a

production this year. So like he's still in the game. And they did just release like a masterpiece edition of of mist like real mist a few years ago. How Riven's on your iPad now, by the way, shit. Yeah, get it. Just play Riven. Oh, boy, have I got it. 20 sextantine. This is time. Time to bust one. We don't need more weeks to talk about sexual things on this program. How about 20 sextantine navigating by the stars navigating by the stars while busting one 20, 20 serventine. And this can be like, go serve your community. But also like dis somebody out on the playground. They got served. Oh, 20 serventines. Interesting. Because it also sounds like you're saying it with some sort of untraceable accent.

20 serventine. I kind of like that. 20 serventine. Let's all talk with accents. I love this, Gryffind. 20 serventine, yo. I love 20 serventine. I love this, Gryffind, because we've never before had a year where you can pick and choose whether you want it to be a helping others or insulting others a year. Yeah, you're either serving people or serving people. I don't want that level of, I don't want it to be binary like that. You introduced it, though, Gryffind. You can't, you can't put that tiger back in the cage. As a joke, because I thought we had nailed it with 20 serventine. And so I thought all these other ones were just going to be goofy goof-a-mops. I mean, we're just brainstorming right now. This

is just spitballing. I don't care if it takes the full hour. I'll do this for an entire hour. Yeah, fuck it. I don't give a shit. Hey, listen to this. Let me hit you guys with this. Like 20 serventine. Travis, can you, can you make a Google Doc? Can you just open a Google Doc, Travis? Sure. Sure. I'll just make a Google Doc, Justin. Okay, so I should do it? Yeah. Is that what you're telling me? Yeah. Let me just call, let me just call Sergey and have him launch a Google Doc for us, I guess. Okay, so I'm opening up a Google Doc. And put it at the top in bold 20 serventine. Keep them guessing. I have another one that I came up without it. We put out a tweet too, but I came up with one out of my brain. Is it in the Google

document? Because if not, it will not be, it will not be officially considered for consideration. I'm going to type it in as I say it. Well, that doesn't sound like an audio product that we can use. 20 serventine. Lucky number. I thought lucky number 11 was an okay name. Was it good flick? It was a good flick, Josh. You did a good job in that flick, and you know who else did. Bruno, hello. Just subtitle. It was a good flick. It was a good flick. A bit confusing there at the end, and I thought Lucy Lou was a little bit underutilized, but lucky number 11. Also, maybe a bad name for a picture. Yeah. And via the transitive property of bad name for a year. Or is it such a bad name for a movie that it's a great name for a year?

Oops. Now, I want to throw something out there and just let me know if this is grabbing you guys about what about 20 elventine. So that's about just embracing nature, living forever and sweet bow tricks. So those are the three things is embrace nature, live forever, sweet bow tricks. Oh, hold on. Wait, what was that middle one? Live forever. Wait, hold on. Do elves live forever? Fuck yeah, dude. They're not real Travis. They live as long as I fucking say they do. So like, I can get a good-looking, windswept, blonde, braided hair and clothes made out of leaves and shooting a bow extremely good and never dead. Never die. That's the life for me. I like this one. We put out the tweet. So Amy suggested,

and I like this, 27 clean, cleanse us, wash away the trash here. But that can be any, that could be like 25th clean, 2019. Yes, fair. That's fair, but I like it. I do like it. Um, here's, somebody named tab one Lamo on Twitter just said dust off them old boots. Which, let's don't fucking, don't fucking laugh at our fucking listeners. Dust off them old boots. It's not, what year is it? Dust off them. It's, it's January 2nd. Just off them old boots. I'm not, I cannot consider 27 clean. I'm sorry, Travis. I'm moving for consideration because it does not play on seven. You can't just leave seven in there. Okay. How about Kelsey said 20 never teen, no teens allowed. I am, they get everything else. So yeah, I do like 20 never

teen, no teens allowed. Um, I do think, because I think that's fun because I feel like we bit over backwards in our six years to try to bring the teens in. And I think it's fun to finally turn our backs on them. You can attract teens to your comedy podcast in one hand and you can shit in the other. And at the end of the day, not many teens are going to, you will not get that demographic. Unfortunately. How do you, how do you guys feel about 2011 teen the year of baking? Because I, my, here's my fear. Here's pluses and minuses. One, I got a bread machine for Christmas. Hello. That's a plus. Okay. That's huge. I've already made a crunchy loaf. Okay. I made a good loaf. And you know what? This afternoon, I've got a big block of my Google

Cal, my G Cal, and it just says cinnamon raisin bread because that's how it's going to go. Jeff Sergei set that up for you or Sergei set that up for me. Now here's the flip on this one is I feel like great British bake off pretty much kicked off like the biggest baking year ever like probably 2015 is when that hit in a major way. Yeah. You've missed the zeitgeist in a major way. I feel like I missed the zeitgeist on that one. So maybe 2011 teen, the year of baking is like not great. Aaron Keese suggested 20 Estefan teen. Rhythm is going to get you, which I like this. This could just be like listen to more music, especially this specific, very specific music. Listen to it, please. Without any clarification, Zach suggested

20 schlepping teen, which I like because like, does that mean like we're moving this year, or is it just like get out there, walk around? I'll move this from place to place all year long. The eighth grade suggested 2016 too, which I'm not very happy about. I'm not excited about that as an opportunity. Jared suggested 20 Kevin clean. So this is the year where we get all our Kevin's, our Kevin hearts, our Kevin Arnold's fictional man. And we get them together and we just scrub them all down. Becky suggested 20 Jepson teen. That's every year for me, thank you. Also, I very much doubt that she's going to put anything out this year. I would be overjoyed if she did, but I'm just saying between emotion and then the

B sides, it is unlikely. 20 Shaven teen? Like get rid of the beards, that's for me. No. Travis needs that beard. That's my brand. Well, I think that's all the suggestions we got. So this was not as rich and deep a vein as we thought it was going to be. 2017 magazine. That's from Trace Smith. Okay. I feel like somebody said 27 B's. So fine. That's from a radiated steak. 27 B's. I feel like some people aren't taking the exercise very seriously and some of those people are on our podcast. Oh, I like it. I don't know. Okay. So let's look at what we have on the official list right now. We have and we may be able to eliminate some of these as we go. 20 Servant teen, serve your community or serve your community. Joseph Gordon Levitt teen. I feel like it's not going to

fly. Well, we agreed on, all right, yes, I will sacrifice, but everyone can celebrate it in their own way. It's just not the official year. I understand that. Do we need to settle on one? Can we just let people sort of embrace whichever sort of I feel like this is something that people really rely on. You're right. You're right. You're right to help set a path for them. And that's why it's so important to have something that is the problem with, okay, let's review. Just do a quick recap to bring us up to speed here. The first was ZOLO, right? Yes, ZOLO was 2010. ZOLO was 2010. And that was other people called it ZOLO first. That was not in any way ours. And I guess that just meant like YOLO like go do the go do the damn thing.

Now in 20, did we have a 2011? I thought we called it ZOL. But I don't remember having like a specific. I remember calling it ZOL at least once, but I don't think, I don't remember if we had, I don't remember. Now, I do remember, now 2012. Get it, right? Get it. That was, was that? Doing it, doing it in 20 does. 20 does, 20 does, 20 do it. Then it was 20 dirt, dig it up, get it out there. I feel like we didn't 20 dirt it very well. No, that was what it is. That was what it was about. 2014 was 2014. No, it couldn't have possibly been, we couldn't have done that not for 2013. 2014 was 24-word. Right. All about momentum. Momentum. Keeping up. That was the theme. 2015 was probably the best. If I could say like.

Yeah. That was the, that was the best. 20 grifting was just about griffs. The 2015, 20 grifting, the con is on. Right. And what I loved about that year was it definitely was going to happen. So it did provide a little, like it lets you get your own griffs and then like acknowledge other griffs that were happening all around you. And what was loved. That was the year, you remember I married an old person and I got all their rubies and emeralds. So it was a very successful year for me. Yeah. 20 grifting was great. 2016 is where things start to go awry, I think. It was well-intentioned building bridges, but the problem was nobody did the da-gun thing. You know, the problem with 2016 building bridges

is that before griffs, momentum, getting it, digging it up, digging the dirt out, those are all individual activities, which I think you can do on your own as like a guiding principle for yourself. 2016 was like, look around, like you have to have another willing participant to build a bridge. Yeah. You need to build a bridge from both sides. You know what I mean? Here's, I don't know if that's how bridges work. I think they start in the middle, actually, and then they go out to the side. So here's all I'm saying, because we're also getting a lot of suggestions from people who are like, the apocalypse. And it's like, no, we don't, no, come on, you know, we don't fuck with that. You know it's better than that. And we know you,

and we know you better than that. And that's a narrative concept, guys. Stop, stop thinking of things in storybook terms, okay? Live in the real world here with us, where we're all just like trying to get fucking through it. We're all just trying to get through it. And so I don't think there's anything wrong with having a little bit of that. Well, last year didn't work out so great. So let's just be, let's just be a little bit on on the fucking balls of our feet on our fucking toes, ready to just, oh, oh, tried to give me, didn't you tried to fuck me again, didn't you? Well, 2016 taught me a valuable lesson about getting fucked and you missed me a little bit. You know why serpentine pattern, baby? Keep them guessing. Okay, I'm going to, I want to say,

I am on board with 20 serpentine one. I think it is the most clever wordplay we've done so far. And two, I like the idea of encouraging dodging, rather than like, you know, like digging in for a fight. It's like, it's, it's, if I might reference the, the king killer chronicles, it's, you know, it's, it's the leaf on the wind. What's it? The, the firefly. You're doing a bunch of nerd stuff right now and I'm into all of it, but. But it's that idea of rather than like standing your ground, just like be the willow, you know what I mean? Like, yes, flow with the winds and like just avoid the, it's that neo shit. It took reference another nerdy property. Just do like, do the matrix. Watch all the matrix movies. It's that idea of like, rather than having to fight, you just don't

have to, you don't have to dodge bullets. But it's not just that. It's not just about the fight. It's about trying new things because maybe you'll be into it. Keep them guessing. Like, yesterday I watched all of an anime in one day. That ain't me, but everybody's talking about this, this Yuri on ice, ice skating anime. And I was like, I'm going to watch this whole thing, even though it's not my thing. And now it is my thing. I incorporated a new thing. Keep them guessing. Go left when they think you're going to go right because they try, they're going to try to fuck you again. They are, I promise. I don't want to try to meet them halfway last year. No, that's the thing. You try to meet them halfway last year and this year they're going to expect that again

and they ain't going to get it. Just, just watching, watching anime kiss it, kiss somebody under a bridge. That's not you, but do it. I'm going to take horseback riding lessons this year. Travis is going to ride a fucking horse. What the fuck? I'm going to take Taekwondo. There's a Taekwondo class place near my dojo. I don't know. I'm not in it yet, but there's a, there's a place near my house that does Taekwondo classes and I think you get two geese for like 30 bones. It's a pretty deal. I think I'm just going to do that. Nobody would expect that. Keep them guessing. I'm going to do Taekwondo to a horse. I'm going to invite a horse to the, to my dojo and then I'm going to spar with him in the Taekwondo tradition.

Keep them guessing. They're not always going to see that. What the fuck is a horse doing in here? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I zigged when you thought I was going to zag, didn't I? Taekwondo. And that's the noise I make when I do my kicks, my Taekwondo kicks. I love, okay. I'm totally into this. I feel like after 2016, this is the year we need. 20 serpentine is the year that we, and, and it's, 20 serpentine, keep them guessing. I'm not saying, I don't want to embrace a policy of distrusting everyone. I'm just saying, keep them guessing. Make yourself untrustworthy. No. Well, here's what I like. Here's what I like about this though. Maybe the guessing,

it could also be like, you've always argued with your aunt about politics and at like, you know, the next big gig together, your aunt brings up politics and you just say, oh, it's a very interesting point. I'll have to consider that. And your aunt's like, uh, oh, oh, my whole thing. I thought we were going to argue about this for two hours. I didn't prepare anything else. Now we have to just like talk like humans. Boom. And then, keep them guessing, and then you do Taekwondo to your uncle right, right there in the room. Why are you doing Jeremy? Jeremy, stop that. Zigzag. And you eat, you eat a bunch of peanuts, but they thought you were allergic to peanuts.

Boom. Keep them guessing. That's right. I am. This is the year I get over it. Hospital. Zigzag. Keep them guessing. I like this. 20 serpentine, keep them guessing. Delete the rest of the list. I feel like we all keep coming back to 20 Riventeen. Let's appreciate it. And that, it is such a good game. And I, it just, if I may, I think that what we should do is we have 20 serpentine is the official year, but Joseph Gordon, Levitine and 20 Riventeen as the unofficial like media representation years.

So it's like a play Riven while you watch third rock from the sun and keep them guessing. I guess. You can still participate in 20 Riventeen. Okay. Okay. Now Griffin, I think in an effort to keep us guessing, drop the giant picture of Colin Mockery into this G dot. Yeah. Zigzag, baby. Oh, y'all just got, y'all just got, y'all just got zagged on. Hey, are you guys hungry? Here's a zag nut bar. Didn't see that Colin Mockery coming, did you?

I guess Colin Mockery is a good, the other thing I like about that in our years so frequently, like this is that conography, just having Colin Mockery is like a visual representation of keeping people guessing because I did not expect him to pop up, but when he did, I was very, very pleased. Okay. Now Colin Mockery, different picture of Colin Mockery has now been inserted into the name of 20 Serpentine. I accidentally, I accidentally spliced the name. So it says 20 Serpentine. Keep them guessing. Colin Mockery, ing. All right. This is good. Can I just tweet this exact screen cap right now and just tell people it's over? Yes. Yeah. All right. This is how we announce it. All right. Well, wait, no, this will spoil the whole

episode, I feel like, or at least the first half of it. Okay. Well, that's fair. Sit on it. So it's screen grab, crap, crap it, but let's hold on to it. Let's go to the money zone. We got our year. Let's get into the fucking, sorry that took so long, folks, but let's get into the heart. It's important. Yeah, it's really important. It's basically one big piece of advice for the next 52 episodes. So let's do our damn thing. Oh, that's a picture of Colin Mockery as a baby. Travis, you zagged on me, dog. All right, here we go. That's baby new year. That's gonna be the baby new year for this year. Oh, yeah. Colin Mockery is the baby new year of this year. To the money zone. Okay, you hungry? It wasn't, it wasn't rhetorical, Griffin. Okay, then no, I just ate a big bowl of

checks. Oh, well, could you foresee yourself getting hungry by this evening? No, do you know how, like, right after you eat a big bowl of checks, you just have like a sour tummy? I don't know why I keep eating these fucking things. I don't know why I fucking keep eating it. It's cinnamon checks, and I see it on the shelf and I think, hmm, this is gonna be a good little autumnal treat with rich cinnamon flavors. I eat it and I get the sourest tummy every time. Well, this week we're sponsored by Chex. Oh, shit. Yeah. Hey, you guys remember Chex Quest? Yeah, sweet. Travis, tell me all about Blue Apron, please. Okay, I'd like to. So Blue Apron is a service with a ship straight to your door. All the ingredients and instructions you need

to make an amazing and very impressive and delicious meal. It's all gonna be right there for you. You don't have to go out to the store. You don't have to worry about what you have in your cabinet, and it's less than $10 per person per meal. And let me tell you, we have been subscribers to Blue Apron for years and years now, and we not only rely on it, we look forward to it. Every week we get these amazing meals that we would never think to make for ourselves. But then, boom, here's a new flavor you haven't tried before. Boom, here's a new dish to impress your friends and loved ones or whatever. And there's a lot of food, you guys. Like the number of times that we've had leftovers for the next day, it makes meals and meals and meals, and we love it very

much. And it's flexible. You can customize your recipes based on, you know, your food preferences, and it's also flexible as far as the schedule. If you're gonna be out of town for two weeks, you just go in and say, hey, skip these two weeks. Or if you only want like one box per month, go for it. I can't stress how great that flexibility is. We basically turned it off for like three or four weeks because we have a newborn and didn't think we were gonna be cooking very much, and our friends were gonna bring us a bunch of meals. And now that we're getting back into it, there's certain things that Rachel can't eat because Henry has a dairy allergy. And so we pop in, and like within seconds, we had selected a menu that was dairy-free.

So like, I adore that part of Blue Apron. I adore all the parts of Blue Apron. It's delicious food. It still makes you feel like a better cook. It still makes you a better cook. You know what I'm saying? I feel like one. Yeah, be one. And you can check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash mybrother. So go to blueapron.com slash mybrother. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping. It's amazing. Go check it out. Blue Apron, a better way to cook. Now, as we all know, it is 20-shave-in-teen. And no, as such, and I'm just kidding. I zagged on you. You got me again. I want to tell you about

Harry's. Harry's is your premier razor blade supplier for your face or your legs or whatever other places you want to get shaved off. They are really affordable razor blades. They cut out the middleman of the, you know, the Walgreens. Walgreens wants to take the money out of your pockets. Big CVS wants to rob you blind. You go to Harry's. You're going to get good, good, good razors. You're going to get ergonomic weighted handles. It's going to feel good. This is Hatori Hanzo steel in your hand. You're going to get five precision engineered blades with a lubricating strip and trimmer blade. You're going to get rich, lathering, shave gel. You're going to get a travel blade cover. You can get all this good stuff at Harry's.

And you are going to be so satisfied with these blades. In fact, Harry's is so confident in the quality of their blades. They want you to try their shave set for free. You heard that right. Just cover shipping when you sign up. Plus, as a special offer to fans of the show, if you go to harrys.com right now and enter my brother, all one word, at checkout, you will get a post shave balm also for free. That's harrys.com code my brother. I have some delightful personal messages here. The first is for Jason Montgomery, and it's from Bronwyn Montgomery, and it says this. Happy 30th birthday to the winner of Australia's next top model, Teen Vladimir Putin Lookalike Edition. Probably a burn. Yeah, like a nuclear

burn from space. Holy shit. You're the most amazing big brother who always looks out for me. You gave me the gift and I've never laughed so hard. So the momentary attention of the McRoy's is my gift to you. Heaps of love from your sweet baby leftovers, Brody. Happy birthday, Jason. That's a big 30th. The way we sold these in bulk, there's literally no way of knowing where we are in relation to his birthday. It's impossible to tell. But hey, happy birthday whenever it is, J-Dog. Also, boys, have you been watching ANTM cycle 2.3, I think? Boys, not in the house. Boys gone. Boys banished from house. I have not. I'm not interested without Ty Ty, baby. Not interested at all. It's pretty fucking

fresh. How present is Tyra? She's in the first episode and she bounces on them pretty fucking hard. But then Rita Ora shows up along with a man named Law Roach and he's like, he is just unreserved with his criticism. But everybody's doing their absolute best. There are no boys in the house. It is missing a certain heat. Now, I heard that they're in the judgment room. It's all glass windows and there's just boys with their faces pressed up against it like an impoverished child staring in a bakery window hoping for crumbs. Is that accurate? More or less, yes. They all want to get a sniff of this fashion. But they can't because boys have been banished from the house except for Law Roach. Law Roach is the only boy in the house. Griffin,

do you anticipate a mid-season twist where somebody finally checks the crawl space of the house and they've had a bad boy infestation and it turns out they do have boys in the house? Just eating the supporting beams of the house and the house falls down. Should have had boys in the house. Well, that's the thing is you can't leave your like cardboard stacked up or if you have like a moist environment in your basement, you have to be careful or you'll end up with boys in the house. Right. I do want to point out Law Roach because I did just Google Law Roach. His Instagram bio lists him as an image architect and that is also how he's credited in the show and I would love Law Roach to just get inside my image and just do a quick demo and replace it with

like some vaulted ceilings and maybe, you know, just like cooler jackets, like cool jackets that I can wear. Hit me up Law Roach. Boys in the house. Boys in the house. Trapped or grift, do you want to read this other one? I'll read it and this one is for David and it's from Y Lynn who says, Hey there, city mouse. Now that you've hopped onto the mabumbam wagon, I can ask our favorite brothers to say things that I'm too emotionally constipated to say in person. Although you may not be able to see it yourself sometimes, I think you're just great and deserve every success that comes your way. Slay that dissertation. Love you. Hashtag no hetero. Thought I was reading that right and I did read it right. Get that dissertation. What is it? One of these days,

boys, I'm going to Google what a dissertation is and then whenever like fancy, you know how some people go to college a few times and for like, I don't know why they do it, but then they have to do these things called dissertations. Every time they say, Oh, I'm doing my dissertation, I was just kind of like, not in my head. Yes. Yes. Is that like a big book report? It seems like a big book report. I'm not exactly sure. A very big book report, huh? Yeah, it sounds hard. How many pages? 20 pages. Wow. The great questions of your life. The great questions of your life. Should you put ketchup on a hot dog? Put ketchup on a hot dog. Toilet paper, over or under. Toilet paper. Star Wars or Star Trek. Star Trek. You're not my friends. You're not

my friends. Mark and Hal always reach the definitive answer. Simply listen to We Got This with Mark and Hal every Tuesday at 9 p.m. Pacific on Maximum Fun. We got this. Your better self is right around the corner. Namaste. Hey, let's do some advice, please. Yeah, I feel like we've just flaked on our number one obligation to people. We'll hit that first question. Hit that first question, Jamie. Okay. All right. Let's see. Our first question. I want a much. Fuck me. What? Oh my God. I knew there was something because you were talking about slow. I knew there was something. Who saw this coming? I'll give you guys some more shot. I want a much. Squad. Squad. Squad. It's a new year. I think I'm going to try out some new podcasts. Here's one

that's listed as an advice podcast. That might be fun. Hey, hey, Dabra. These boys aren't doing any advice at all. This is a weird podcast. Wendy's new spice is sriracha chicken sandwich. Take sriracha to a whole new level. This fucking thing, huh? No, I'm just like, all I know about this is these dumb ass commercials where it's like sriracha. How do you even say it? It's sriracha. It's been around for 100 years. What the fuck are you talking about? People started putting this on everything in like 1991. Sriracha. So this one is a very special twofer. And here's why it's so special in an attempt to build excitement about the spicy sriracha chicken sandwich available for a limited time. Wendy's released, put out two press releases.

It's like Pokemon Sun and Moon. One's got different words in it. Collect them all. This was the first. Calling all sriracha lovers. Wendy's gone all in sriracha on the debut of its new spicy sriracha chicken sandwich. On the what? On the what if it's what? On the debut of its spicy sriracha chicken sandwich. Available for, I know I said it with a T earlier. This is how this person would say it, this character. Available for a limited time. The entire sandwich, including the bun, the cheese, and of course the sauce is infused with sriracha, satisfying even the most diehard fans of the flavorful red sauce in a way that only Wendy's can. Starting with the toast, let me finish. Starting with the toasty sriracha infused bun, a dollop of sriracha, only custom

sriracha jack cheese, and then sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha sriracha. And there's like 21. That's the end of the fucking press release. You said it enough that it started to sound like Rochester. So then. Sorry, was that a goof that it spiraled into madness or that was no, that's literally what it says. OK, that was a 730 December 5th, nine a.m. December 5th, 90 minutes later, the fucking that the veil of that hilarious bit is pulled away. Oh, I need I love it when they have to explain the joke of it. Earlier today, as we were overcome with excitement about our new spicy sriracha chicken sandwich

and bacon sriracha fries, Wendy's got carried away and issued an alert that looked more like the obsessed ramblings of a sriracha fanatic. Anyone with similar love for sriracha can understand it's just that good. We've since pulled ourselves together and have provided all the details about our newest creation below. Thanks for understanding because there's nothing funnier than doing a bit and then 90 minutes later explaining what the bit was. Right. So like now this this was so confusing because I was on as the weakened editor at SnackAttackSac.gov when this press for this first press release came out. It was like, Jerry, I don't know. Should I write it up as is because there's lots of key details missing. I

think it might be a joke, but I think somebody there might have some serious problems. And then luckily I didn't publish it. And then that second one came through and it was like, poof. Thank God, but it was really unprofessional. It seems like we've lost the plot of her at Wendy's. Now, Justin, I would like to offer a different explanation. Okay. Picture someone much like yourself working at Wendy's and your job is the social media outreach. And then you get handed this press release that no joke has Sriracha like just as a descriptor 67 times. Yeah. And this is the last straw for you. And you just you just fucking lose it. And you're like, Sriracha, Sriracha. This is the Wendy's version of all work and play me Jack and Dollboy. Okay. That's very,

that's very possible. And they were trying to run interference. I'm like, there's a funny joke. So don't take it from me. Let's check in with Munch Squad, Patience St. Carl Laredo, vice president of marketing and advertising at Wendy's. What's he named as a baby? Like, this guy's gonna run a fucking dirty ass fast food company someday. We got to call him Carl Laredo. Like there's no way around it. This I believe is Carl Laredo's second appearance on the squad. Don't correct me if I'm wrong. Sriracha lovers have an irrational love for this sauce. So we knew we had to find a way to properly honor that devotion with the spicy Sriracha chicken sandwich. Says Carl Laredo, vice president of marketing and advertising Wendy's.

We did more than just spread or drizzle Sriracha on a chicken sandwich. We went all in and infused Sriracha in the entire sandwich, delivering the maximum amount of flavor from the first bite until the last. Now, here's what's enjoyable to me about the spicy Sriracha chicken sandwich. There's Sriracha in the aioli. There's Sriracha in the bun. There's Sriracha in the cheese. There's Sriracha in the chicken. Now, the one thing, sidebar, if I could with you, the one thing- They left something out. You didn't put on it. You did leave one thing. There's one element that you missed, I think. It wasn't that good old fashioned applewood smoked bacon, because that's in there. That is on it. Yeah. The one thing about it is the Sriracha. That

fucking Sriracha. Is that right? What is this? What is this fun red? What is this stinky ketchup? This fun rooster sauce. What is this rooster sauce? It doesn't smell. It's got lumps in it, unlike smooth ketchup. Sriracha! Idiots. People love this stuff. Should we put it on a sandwich? No. No. We should put it around a sandwich. We should put it sandwich adjacent. We should put it inside the concept of a sandwich. Let's let's harness the power of Sriracha, but not include any of it in the fucking thing. We will tease a sandwich with Sriracha. We will tell a sandwich the stories of Sriracha, the tales of its adventures, and hope that its legacy is somehow passed through the sandwich. We will not apply the sauce.

Can we talk about a Sriracha bun? God forbid, what if you get in a car accident and the chicken and the bacon and the aioli go flying out the window, but the only thing you're left with is hot bread? How's your hot bread? This bread's hot. It sucks. I know. It's spicy bread. I'm sorry. I got in a car accident and I lost the chicken. I'm upset with this whole thing, because it feels like Wendy's is trying to dunk on Sriracha lovers and say, how about this? Is this enough? Do you like that? Take that. They're trying to burn out your enjoyment of Sriracha by giving you so much of it that you don't want it anymore. None of it. None of it. This is not a thing you do with anyone else. They're not like,

oh, what? You like tomatoes? The bun's got tomatoes in it. The meat's got tomatoes in it. The lettuce has tomatoes in it. Go fuck yourself. By not including Sriracha, but also absolutely conceptually destroying Sriracha, it should be called Sriracha is over. It's done. We're taking the concept of it and not applying any of it. Do you think that they had a point where they're like, well, we got to put Sriracha on the fucking thing? And then someone's like, you do realize that's actually a condiment with flavor and I don't think our process can be trusted in applying unless it's like single-serve packets that are being distributed like this. I don't trust our people to directly apply an actual flavorful condiment.

Too many pranks. Too many pranks could be made with a Sriracha packet. No, thanks. Somewhere. There's a Venn diagram that perfectly captures someone who really loves the idea of Sriracha, but not actual Sriracha, who's going to just love this, who's going to be so excited that they get all of the flavor without having to deal with actual Sriracha. I don't want to meet that person, but I guarantee they exist. Hey, can we please do this first advice question? Because if we don't do any advice this episode, we're going to lose our license. But not only that, this first question on this list that Travis has put together, that Travis worked so hard to put together for us, is such a banger, and we would be remiss if we let it

fall through the wayside. Travis, just reset. We'll ask these questions next week. I do want to say this is a perfect 20 serpentine question for my brother and my brother. Yes, please. This is our first and only question of this episode, the first of 20 serpentine. One of my friends is a contact juggler. He hasn't performed for money in years. That's not an option. I don't think that's an option. $20, please. I only do it for the art now. I don't perform for money anymore. That'll be five bucks. One of my friends is a contact juggler. He hasn't performed for money in years. But recently, the company that makes fushigi balls reached out to him. Apparently,

they're planning on relaunching fushigi. This is just, that was the best news I could, for my brother and my brother made, that is pretty much the best. And I did not expect it. But big ups, I didn't see that coming. They want him to be in their commercials again. This man is the face by which I mean the weirdly moving hands of fushigi. Problem is, the last time he performed in a fushigi commercial, he got called a sellout by all the other contact jugglers. How can I convince him to ignore the haters and get that paper? All 20 of them. That's from fushigi enthusiasts from Bucca Raton, Florida.

You're out of the gang, damn. So, there are certain careers where the window of success, it's so limited, right? You two were theater majors. You remember that feeling when you saw somebody go off and then they made it on a fucking episode of psych and you're like, damn it, Jeremy. And you got so angry and jealous because there's only two paying roles on psych that you can sort of slot into. If you wanted to. Justine, I work in the games industry. There's not many paying gigs in the games industry and so there's a lot of beef that arises there. I am going to make an estimation here that the number of paid positions for fushigists is one and it is the one who is in the commercial for fushigi. I don't think anybody picks up fushigi

thinking like, I'm going to make money. This is my dream now. I'm going to make money doing this someday. Well, Griffin, do you think that the same person who's the face of the commercials is also like goes to the trade shows, goes to like, you know, the contact juggling like conferences and like demonstrates the new line? Or do you think that they have like a team of people that they have like, you know, different people that they send to like the Southwest fushigi conference and like the Northeastern fushigi conference and the Japan fushigi conference? I bet that gets totally fucking shit. I just had the first great idea of 20 Serpentine. Okay, are you about to zag on this? Yeah, I'm about to zag on you guys. And please seriously, I'm very serious

about it. So please, brothers, let me know if you're okay with this. I would like this year for us to become patrons of fushigi. Now, here's what I'm suggesting. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. We take when we get paid in January, we will take the first $500 that we make this month, and we will set it aside for fushigi patronage. And here is what I'm suggesting to you. What I'm suggesting to you is people will make fushigi art and submit it to us. We will assign a dollar value on the quality of the fushigi performance. And please actually do some sick fushigi shit. Because if it's, if there's nothing there, you will get nothing. But you will make actual fushigi art. And if it is special, we will pay Pal you from the fushigi budget that we have set aside for 2017, which is

in total $500. Yes, we are fushigi patrons, patrons of fushigi. And if you do some sick ass fushigi art, yeah, you will and and you can either let's see, probably the best thing is to put it on our Facebook page or tweet at us with hashtag fushigi art. Yeah, that's probably the best. And then we will award this grant, we probably won't do a lump sum, we'll probably try to space out a little bit. And also, it will not be very much money because I really, it won't make sense if we give like 200 bucks to somebody who makes something totally baller. I want to get this shit popping off across the world. I want recognition from the fushigi company. I do want to be taken to the fushigi nationals in Japan. But yes, we cannot stress enough, once that 500

is gone, it's gone. It's gone. Don't send us this in like December of 2017. And don't get all pissy at us. If you work hard on our routine and we decided it is not, it is not worthy of our, I feel like if you have a contact juggling routine made for us specifically, you will probably get something. I'm gonna kick you a little bit. But like, if you have a sick ass routine that's just for us, and it has to be clear, like in the video, like, I don't know if you have to say something about our show or some sort of, you know, it has to be clear. It's made boutique content for the, my brother, my brother, me, patrons of fushigi. Now, I will say, if you want to score bonus points with me, some kind of like cool runnings ask backstory as to why your contact juggling story

is like, you had to overcome some kind of contact juggling like issue or sell like your friends always told you you could never be a contact juggler because that's going to score extra points with me. What I like is if at the end of your routine, you destroy your fushigi balls. Just so I know that you did this thing for us and then you have walked away from the craft. In fact, if you want to add a little clip at the beginning, just a short blip of you buying the fushigi ball, then do the trick and then destroy it. So we know that it was like bespoke just for this. Yeah, that's probably gonna get a couple a couple check marks. So please create fushigi art for us. We're just gonna get some fushigi art into the world. $500 is a ton of dough, though.

Boy, I wish you'd set a lower number to start with. No, maybe we could have walked it up a little bit. But that's an annual budget. I mean, that has to last us all year, right? Does this count as a charitable donation? Can we write this off? Now, I know there might be some of you who have who donate to the maximum fund network. So some portion of your donation will go to fushigi art. And I don't know. I don't know how you feel about that. But if you feel bad about it, I don't know what fucking podcast you've been listening to for these six and a half long years. I don't know what you think we're good with. We're good with bucks. We're good with your dollar bills. If the idea of a few cents of your donation going to fushigi art doesn't fill you with excitement and

delight, then I'm not sure that you're a great fit for organization. This is a pretty enormous zag. Do we still fucking hate jugglers? No, we've always been clear about this. No, we've been very clear about this. Contact jugglers are okay. We've always been clear about this. Okay. The fushigi arts are fine. Then that's why we're trying to get them out more is the contact juggling fushigi arts are like, that's something we want to try to get out more. There's hundreds of videos of juggling. I want contact juggling fushigi art art, please. If you don't mind. Oh, if it can be set to music. A silent contact juggling routine. What the fuck are you talking about? The problem is that you're going to get that copyright infringement. You got it. It's got to be copyright free. You got to get

far from the delt in there. Yeah. Happy birthday fushigi. I do like just that you keep referring it to as fushigi art because I like that because it implies you don't just like film yourself in silence doing a single trick. You know what I mean? Like I want some kind of artistry to it. You know, a little bit of story maybe or maybe it's an allegory of fushigi allegory for something. I don't want to put too many restrictions on people because I think that they're going to do a lot better with this than we will. The one sort of cholera we'll add on this is we will make the amount that we award you extremely public. So like do be aware of that going in that that will be made extremely public. That that the amount that you will be gifted from the fushigi arts patronage.

And you know, if this is successful, who knows 20 2018, maybe it's $515. You know, it could go the sky's the limit. We'll have to check with our accountants. Oh, no, they can't ever know. God, please don't tell our accountants, please. Please don't tell Barry. Please don't tell Barry. Barry's so mad at us all the time for the bad decisions we make. Now, Justin, what's this receipt for $500 you've submitted here on a piece of paper? You've just written for fushigi arts, right? It's a gift of the arts. It's an artistic gift. You you plebeian. Yeah, I'm going to need to I just need that to be and probably put like fushigi art in the title of the YouTube video or like hashtag fushigi art just to make it like

really easy. I want to just be able to like look at all these and review all of them and enjoy them. Yeah, sure. In my own time. Let's wrap up because I don't think I can hear that you say the words fushigi art anymore today. Okay. Well, that folks, that's going to do it for us. Thank you so much for fucking tolerating us. Seriously, through all of 2016 and all of 2017 and all the years to come, we will always be here for you. And you've always been so good as to be here for us. So thank you for that. Let's get this thing off to a fun, good start and just a lot of fushigi art. I want to thank John Roderick in the Long Winters for your theme song. It's a departure off the album putting the days to bed. It's a super great album that I think you are going to like just a lot.

I want to thank Maximum Fun for having us. You know, MaximumFun.org and check out all the podcasts on there, including Rose Buddies, the podcast that Rachel and I do about The Bachelor. We just joined the network today and we're very, very, very excited to be on the network. We love doing the show. We've been going for a year and a new season of The Bachelor is starting tonight. And so if you want to dive into this fucking Scrooge McDuck trash pile with us, then you can and listen to the podcast and it's a lot of fun. I think you'll like it. I would like to fully endorse it. It is my favorite podcast in existence. No joke. You're going to love it. Thank you, Chad. I also want to say a thank you. One last NBNBAM Angels update.

It was our most, and I want to say it was your most successful year ever. Absolutely just destroyed it and raised. As of December 17th, so I imagine it's even increased since then. The last update we got was the 17th. $7,000 for it, which is just, it warms my heart. And so we just wanted to say thank you for being so amazing and helping a lot of people have a really great holiday and you guys should be very proud of yourselves. And we are proud of you and we appreciate you immensely. Speaking of gratitude, I want to thank people for a few gifts that have come to our PO Box, or my PO Box specifically, PO Box 54, Honeys West Virginia 20006. I want to thank Ed for the die in your sleep coasters. They're just gorgeous. Benson is his record bowl of plums.

That's delightful. Paula made bracelets for our wives. So thank you so much for that. Craig sent his book. What do I want to be over to us? Thomas sent some lovely portraits. Ginger sent us stockings, or Ginger sent a candlelight stocking. It's just lovely. And Matt sent some shirts. So thank you so much to everybody who did that. You're much beloved. We have received a lot of stuff to our PO Box as well. I don't have the list in front of me, but Teresa has been working with me to keep track of it. And we will post thank yous in the Facebook group and on the Spanners group. But I will say a lot of really wonderful baby stuff, which is amazing. Just knowing the amount of support and the amount of love people

have shown to our family is incredible. I will also say we have received a lot of really wonderful emails and letters talking about how much the show has meant to people and what an impact it has had on their lives. And I just want to say we read all of those, and we appreciate it. And I will say your letters have an impact on us. And knowing that the show means so much to people out there really means a lot to us. And so thank you. We may not be able to respond to all of them, but we read every single email, every single letter, every single postcard, and we appreciate it so much. And we're so glad that you guys like the show. Y'all with that final Yahoo? We read Yahoo answers on this show sometimes. It's a fun thing we do sometimes. This one was sent in by Lydia

Leverin. Thank you, Lydia. It's by Yahoo Answers, user. Who is this user? I think they might be anonymous. This anonymous user who I'm going to call, Pelbus. Pelbus asks, you are all asshole. All right. Fucking godam, Yahoo. Zagged on him. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. It's been my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad, square on the lips. If you love podcasts, comedy, and creativity, and you're looking for some new friends to share them with, why not check out MaxFunCon 2017? MaxFunCon is a chance to get away from it all, spend a weekend laughing, and return inspired to create amazing things. Join us for MaxFunCon in Lake Arrowhead in June, or MaxFunCon East in the Poconos in September, and prepare yourself

for one of the best weekends of your life. Tickets are on sale now at maxfuncon.com.