My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 338: Thunderwall

Episode Date: January 18, 2017

What's up, Gearheads? We made an episode just for you! Join us for an in-depth discussion on Justin's new ride, and listen in as he breaks down all the special modifications he made both under and above the hood. This baby's got a Hemi, whatever that means. Sugggested talking points: Justin's New Car, Bassism, Altaba Answers, Ronald's Sex Commercial, Tapping, Brendan Frasier Deep Dive, Too Many Stuffies

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? It's a new face Ain't the girls here you wanted to say, hey, I wanna Just say, hey, I wanna Hello everybody and welcome to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the

modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin Tyler McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, Travis Patrick McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin Penelope McElroy. Justin, you were just telling us before we started recording, and you expressed some hesitance to actually want to talk about this on the program, that you have just purchased a new vehicle, and I think there's a lot of legs here. I hope there's not a lot of legs on the car, Griffin. It could be a fucking my neighbor Totoro Cat Bus, but no, it's probably a four wheeled vehicle car, and I just wanted to sort of dive into the decision, because I know you're such a

gearbox, and I know that you really like to get into these vehicles and really inspect them, bumper to bumper, guarantee, and just go over all the parts and try and maximize the efficiency. See how the parts go? Yeah, upgradeability, being able to put some turbo in there is huge to me. Usually, you want to make sure that it's got room for turbo, because you buy a car and the trunk's all full of parts already. Where's the nox go? Where's the nox? The nox? The nox? So walk me through sort of the decision-making process that you went through that led you down the winding road to your new whip. Well, I almost bought a Honda Odyssey, which is a minivan, because it had a built-in vacuum in it. Have you ever heard of such a thing?

So a built-in vacuum, how does the engine has a vacuum to suck the fuel up into the engine to make it go faster? No, there's a vacuum in the back that you can pull out. It's got a huge tube, and you turn on the engine, and it just sucks, and you can clean up all the baby detritus. That's fun, because you can look at your friends, and they'd be like, why did you buy this? And you would say, because this car sucks, and you would all have a good laugh, or a medium laugh. So it's not like for going, it's for cheez-its. Yeah, it's like I almost got this car, because it had a built-in vacuum. What was the engine like on that one, though? Oh, it used gas.

Oh, maybe you got it. Hey, Justin, quick question about this vehicle. I know you didn't go with it, but is it got Hemi? Yeah, if I wanted to go farther, I could stop in pretty much any gas station. Oh, hell yeah. I actually, I wasn't planning on buying a new vehicle, but I had to, because the Germans tried to kill the planet with my car. They made my car into a planet killing sleeper agent. Hold on, don't blame that on all Germans. It was the Germans. No, they just zagged on me and Justin pretty hard with these VWs. It was a pretty big zag. Mine is killing the planet. It's definitely draining Gaia of the Lifestream or whatever, but it goes so fast, and I like how it looks, so I might hang on the mic. You're unwillingness. Yeah. To part with this

car has been fascinating to me, because I was so stoked when they offered to take it back for me, because I bought it during, I guess, Sydney and I were having a simultaneous midlife crisis, so we bought this convertible beetle that you can't put a car seat in, and then we had a baby, so that was whack, and then there was a German slide, and they killed the planet with my car. Exactly, yeah. Plus, isn't someone offering to take your car away and give you money back for it, so you can get a different car? Like the dream of ever, even if you love your car, just like, I can just try, I can just do a different car now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. I just bought it, not if you just bought it a year ago and you don't like car shopping. Anyway, Justin loves car

shopping, and I want to get back into it, so tell me about the vehicle that you did, and any other candidates that you were thinking about, just based on sort of their specs? If you're just joining us, welcome to Car Talk, the new Car Talk 2.0. Car Talk Extreme, Baja Blast. So basically, I was thinking also about Kia Sorento. Now, that's a very fuckable ride. Well, we were looking for something with three rows that wouldn't be too terrible. Yeah. So I was thinking about maybe Kia Sorento, but we ended up going with a Honda Pilot. What's the spoiler like on that? Spoiler, I love it. It's just a great ride. Okay. Okay. That's another car joke that I got.

And how does this baby hump the road? When you get her out there and you're taking the turns through the country, is she humping the road or nah? I basically just drive it from my house to ride aid and back. Yeah. What kind of time that? Yeah, I can get from my house to ride aid in like five minutes, which is about how long it took with my last car. Nice. This one has three rows, so that's nice. Okay. What's the engine smell like when it heats up? Yeah, it's a good one, Trav. You know, just like, just like a motor burning head out on the highway. Do you want me to say freedom? I mean, it's just a Honda Pilot. Gas wise. Gas wise. We talk in diesel,

we're talking about that regular tan stuff. Or like old french fry stuff. Yeah. I'm never buying a diesel car again. Nobody sells diesel. Never buying that again. And I'm sorry, the Germans tricked me into killing the plant with diesel. Sorry, but diesel is good for the planet. Plant it drinks that shit up. That's what they try to tell me. Try to sell me on that. Have you done any sort of mods? Because I know like you are a real gearbox and I love you. And I know that you like to get under the hood and under the car. Yeah. You know, they have a little for this little dolly that you lay down on and you I see you sometimes just sliding around on that just having like the best day ever. I'm hanging with your crew.

Yeah, your pit crew. Yeah, I have made a couple of additions in there. Oh, nice. One of the things was it didn't have well, my garage door opener wasn't nice clip to the oh, you didn't. Okay, little salvage job from the last wet. And that's going to pick you up like two or three miles per hour just right there. Yeah. And then also, it didn't have any disc in the and the tires. Those are called those are called rims. There was no disc in the Blu-ray player. And then I swapped that not having a disc out with Peppa Pig, muddy puddles and other stories. Nice. Nice. Yeah. So I did that swap. And how does that tweak the torque? Pretty good. It's booming. Actually, I could really feel it when they jump in those muddy

puddles. I could feel it. The sound system, the tweeters and woofers and stuff are really booming on that. Now, Justin, when you when you're doing your illegal street racing, and like you really hit the height of that Peppa Pig episode, do you feel like that's the boost you need to get you over that old finish line? Yeah, just a second question to add on to that. Is it also the closest that you feel to like seeing God's face? Yeah, sometimes I confuse the voice of daddy pig with the voice of God because they both got very low rumble. Just when you're like in that speed zone, like in the thrill of it, when you're trilling the race and you're transcending. I would actually like to mention that I had to do a pretty sad this is pretty savage. Actually,

I had to bring back the car, the beetle and I had to walk through the dealership and they had already closed and they were just like sitting around because this is what my appointment was. They were all like sitting around just like chatting and they asked me what I how they could help me and I had to tell them like I'm here to sell back my car to you like take this car for me and the they look very like downtrodden and kind of dejected and the Honda dealership is actually on the same lot. So I just like walked out the door and walked to the other place. Just waving a lot of cash in front of you. Hey, listen, these suckers just bought back my beetle. Got him. Got him. Justin, I'm so happy for you and I know you love your beautiful toys.

You're a real Jay Leno. And I'm just like really excited for you to just have a new canvas to sort of your art on whatever you do. Don't get out there and start racing for pinks again. Yeah. One thing that is hard is if my garage door is open and I try to open the back of the car, it'll there's not enough room. So I gotta close something up to mod either the garage door. So now you're hoping that there's a secret planet killing device inside of this car so that you can fix this mistake you've made. This is a big whiff. I'm gonna have to try again. That's not a bad car shopping technique. I'm not looking for city versus highway miles per gallon. I'm not looking for, you know, any kind of aesthetic. I'm looking for the car that secretly

has a device inside of it that is killing the planet so that in like a year or so I can get another free new whip. Yeah. The only MPGs I care about is mendacity per gallon. I just want, I want to know how many lies you can stuff in there. So when I uncover the lot, when some enterprising gear head like myself discovers the lies that you hid in your car, it's like leasing. It's leasing. It's just like, it's a lot, you find cars lies in them. It's fleasing. There we go. There we found it. Can we please do a show? I warned you guys it wouldn't be funny. Dude, no, you did good and it was funny and I loved it. It was good. Justin. As far, I'm a pretty practical car shopper at this point. Like, I've had my, listen, I had my fun

with my 1982 Malibu and my 1992 Cutlassiera. I have owned that Cutlassiera. I had a lot of work. I had a lot of fun with my Kia Sophia and my Kia Sportage. Listen, I've had my fun, you know, my fun cars and now I'm my Subaru Outback. Now I'm just ready to like settle down with a little more grown up ride. How about some questions? I've wasted my youth. Yeah. Hey, brothers, I recently started up a band with a couple of friends of mine. I'm the lead singer fuck guitar slash songwriter. Problem is our basis isn't very good. I can listen. I see where this is going. The answer is yes. I will. I will take the job. And here, let me give you a sample.

Hi. Sorry, are you finished? No, hold on. Oh, well, he was he was pretty good. My name's Griffin. And I'd also like to apply for the job. Hey, I would. I would also like to throw my hat in the rain, please. You've got a sound we've never heard before. We need we must have you. Thank you very much. One million dollars. The actual problem is what's worse is he frequently argues with me about horror songs, which I wrote should sound. Oh, my God.

I try my best to take his opinion into account. But most of the time it's taken a song was flat out bad. I feel really bad kicking him out. How can I deal with this without breaking up the band? That's from Cacophonus in Canada. Liam, Liam, I love this Wonderwall song. Have you thought about doing it very, very fast? And made me super happy. It was a faster happy and also very loud electric guitars. I think it was much faster, like 210 bpu. You like Pharrell?

I've been listening to a lot of Pharrell. What if we called it a thunder wall? What if we got an MFAO to do a verse? That'd be good. Actually, this song sounds fucking really good. It sounds really good. Thunder wall by LMFAO, a 210 bpm fucking trance hit featuring oasis. It'll be on the Facebook group by the end of the week. So, you know, you often hear about bands that get famous and then kick somebody out.

And then you hear about bands that kick somebody out and then get famous, you know, like I'm thinking of Pete Best, that happened with Pete Best. The original drummer from the Oneeders? Yeah, the original drummer. Okay, this is good that the Metallica kicks at Dave Mustaine. They get huge Beatles kick out Pete Best. They get huge Oneeders kick out the original drummer. They get huge.

I'm thinking maybe this guy from where he's not very good at it and causing discord, thank you, within the band. Maybe if you kick him out, the band would be better? Maybe? Yeah. Like and you would get famous right away. He's the catalyst. This is such a precarious situation because you are the songwriter, lead singer,

like head of the band, right? And but you don't want to come off as a complete prick, right? But and I get that. And I think I think you do have to walk a pretty delicate line here. Now, on the other side of things, where the fuck does his bassist get off? Where the fuck does this bassist get off? I love a good bassist. I mean, shit.

Some of my favorites are very important to me, but I'm going to keep them a secret. But where the fuck, that's not what a bassist do though. McCartney was a bassist, right? And Beatles, I guess he probably had a few things to say. Or was that Harrison? Yeah, yeah. No, no, McCartney had it all. I'm sorry, I have to stop you guys.

I'm very uncomfortable right now, because you're both just kind of like casually endorsing bassism. Oh, Jesus. Okay, come on. Thank you. Hi, everybody. It's Travis McGrath here. I would like to jump in now and say a thing.

I'm quitting the show and doing my own spinoff of a video. It's just me saying bad puns. It's called Believe It or Not, I'm Doing My Best. With Pete Best. With Pete Best. With Travis McGrath and Pete Best. Boy, we just couldn't get it together, could we? Nope.

And look how much more successful everybody else is doing now. Here's, okay. I've never formed a band before. I have no idea what goes into it. But what's the pre-pro before you let somebody into a band like this that you only later find out like, oh, you're not good at music? Whoops. Like, isn't that a thing that you should find out?

Well, Travis, I want to say, I want you to imagine you're something for me, okay? You're you, okay? And you're doing, somebody's like, I know a cool bassist. You're like, okay, great. And he gets up and you're like, show me what you got. And he's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You're like, okay, cool.

It sounds like you got it. Like, there's no way to tell if he's good at it or not. Oh, wait, are you saying, you're saying there's no way to tell if a bassist is good? Yeah, you can't tell if a bassist is good or not. Well, well, sorry. Join us in 2020 when we have to do a bass arts thing where we pay $500 to bassists to make up for everything

we've said about them in the past. No, I love a fucking fresh bass line. Like, there's some good, you're saying there's no way to tell if a bassist is good at, what are you talking about? I know who good bassists are. They do like, like Flea. He's good. Okay.

Bootsy Collins. Uh, Geddy Lee. Like, there's a lot of very good bassists out there that play the bass and it sounds good when they play it. Vic Wooten. Okay, now you're looking at a fucking Google list. No, I know Vic. I know Vic Wooten.

Oh, yeah. He played with, what's that guy's name? Dad likes him. Bella Fleck. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, that's very, very talented. Let's, we're digging ourselves as a bassist whole. And I want to get out of it.

I'm just kidding. I'm doing like old jokes about bassists. I got it. I know that you all have had it rough. And I'm sorry about piling on here. I don't mean it. And I don't want to hear from you. More importantly.

More importantly. And I can't stress this enough. I don't want to be educated. Okay, please. I've learned so much and grown so much. I can afford to write off this group of people. No, that's not. You already have that group of people in this juggler

as you go in a second slot. Please don't educate. I don't want to know. Here's the question. Here's the question for question writer. Because you really have to take a long, hard look in the mirror and decide, do you think that this band is going to go somewhere? Or is this a fun, like we get together on the weekends,

maybe three times a month, if we can swing it and make the schedule work, play some songs together, drink some beers, and then we usually end up playing Mario Kart kind of thing. Because if it's that second one, it's going to be fine. Just breathe deep and listen to their shitty suggestions and then just go on with whatever, it'll be fine. If you actually think, no, this is what I want to do for a living, this is my career, and then we're really trying to make it go with this,

then you have to take that into account and you've got to cut this person loose. Because if this is your job and they are not good at it and they are hard to work with, the last thing you want is you play a concert and someone's like, hey, that's great, I would love to sign you guys. And now you are stuck with them forever. And that is what tears your band apart in two years because you can't stand one member of it. You know, it's funny, one of the things that you,

like when you're creating something, one of the things that I have learned and this, I have found, I've discovered like why some people who are actually celebrities, I think, get the reputation of being like hard to work with, I think. Because I think when you're creating something and it's a collaborative thing, especially like if you're writing the songs and creating that stuff, other, you think about your own stuff probably 50 to 100 times more than other people think about it. But when you're working out together, they want to have equal say in it.

And I think that it's okay if you're creating something and you have like an idea of what you want to create. I think it's okay for you to relax some of the like social convention of like how people normally like, I don't think it's inconsiderate, I guess is what I'm saying, or inhumane to have a creative vision and want people who are going to like support it and help you realize it rather than try to fight you at every corner. That's not to say that something can't be gained through conflict

because I think that the creative work is filled with stories like that. But I do think that if it's not gelling with this person and you're serious about this, then it's not like, it's a professional setting. They're not working for the project that you're doing. And I don't think you should feel bad about making that clear. Kick them the fuck out and maybe you'll be doing them a favor and they'll be like Pete Best who started a band called the Better Beatles. And they were, they were, they were better.

They did White Album 2. We did a Better This Time, Two Revolvers. Do you remember that album? Do you remember Two Revolvers? That's the one that's better than Revolver? Yeah, because they had two guns the whole time. Um, I hope Paul McCartney never dies. Obviously.

But I think full stop, full stop. I want to make that clear up front. But I think we all know deep down he will die before Ringo Starr does. Like I think we're all pretty clear about that happening. I just, he will win the taunting. Yeah, I just hope that taunting is this. I just hope that Ringo Starr has the guts to do a solo tour marketed as a Beatles reunion tour.

I just want, I just want that. And here's the thing, no other instruments can be on stage. It is just Ringo Starr playing drums. And he also does like the few like harmonies. So it's just like, gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk. Paper bag writer, gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk, gunk. That sounds, I can't, that sounds. That sounds fucking good.

Yeah, I didn't know you were a bassist and a drummer. All right. So listen, right? Peace and love, peace and love. I want the left third of the auditorium, you're George. Okay. So like you do George stuff and middle third, you're, you're, uh, uh, John was him. And then right third, you're Paul.

So you do Paul stuff and I'm just going to do Ringo stuff. All right. I hate to stop you again. You were a little off, George, part of the crowd. It's just, let's get it together. Hey George, hey, whichever one of you, George, this is fucking up, raise your hand. All right. You have to leave the concert because you're dragging us down.

All right. 74 of you are fired from the band, the best, the best Beatles. Take that beat best, put that in your fucking pipe. But you bet you wish you thought of that name, didn't you? You're bastard. Okay. Yahoo time. I got one here from level 9000.

Yadrujrujrujjampport, thank you. It's by Yadru answers user Parami. And I don't think it's going to be a meaty one, but it's something we need to fucking discuss right now. Parami asks, I just heard the new company is finally taking over Yahoo. What will happen to our emails and Yahoo answers? This saddens me. Side on the news.

I saw it on the news this morning that Verizon's company, that Alibaba or Aldaba or whatever the hell it's called, will be replacing Yahoo here in a few. I hate this so much. I hate it. I love answering questions on Yahoo answers. Me too. I fucking love being a member of this community.

And I don't know what Aldaba is going to do with it. Now that they are Yahoo, and I'm not sure what the business arrangement here. I know Melissa Mayer's on the way out and she has been a stalwart guardian. She was the one behind. I don't know if you guys know this. There's a new app called Yahoo answers now.

Hello Yahoo answers now. I'm so glad to meet you. I'm glad you came out like a couple months ago when the fucking fires are the hottest, when the Yahoo answers sun has reached its zenith in the sky. But now she's gone. Aldaba's here. Nobody quite knows what's going to happen to Yahoo answers,

but I'll tell you what's going to happen. It's gone. It's gone. It's going to die and be gone. And then this podcast is going to die and be gone. You can't just turn off a website, Griffin. Sorry? You can't just stop a website.

Can't stop a signal? You can't stop the signal, Griffin. What are they going to do? Just not anymore? What's that even look like? You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess they've already uploaded all the data to the web. It's not like a building you can tear down.

They're not going to close their doors. Let's really think about this, though. It's not like they can just suck the data back down from the web. Once you put the data up there, it's like up there. And I'm trying to work through this. I have Yahoo answers tabs open on my computer right now. I have the data. They can't take it off my computer, right?

Is Altaba going to come and destroy my MacBook? No, it's important to know that Yahoo the company sold its verticals and its internet business and all that stuff to Verizon. So Verizon bought that stuff. Yes. What's left is Altaba. So I don't think Altaba will have any connection to Yahoo, the entity. Okay.

So where does that leave my precious Altaba answer? Just saying that. Saying it's the worst. It felt like poop falling out of my mouth. Altaba was awful, awful mouth feel. What's going to happen to it, Justin? Because you know more about this business. You're so...

I know I'm the Ford 3030 luminary, but you are like Bloomberging out. It's actually the Washington Post that I'm reading. But yeah, for sure. Fuck. Yeah. So it's going to be Altaba. Am I going to be able to get on here and find out what to do because I shoved a whole 18-inch pizza up my butt?

Am I still going to have this utility available to me? Can we agree that Yahoo was never a very good name? Or do we think it was a good name? I mean, they had that fun theme song where it was like... I don't think you can call that a theme song, Griffin. Yeah, sure you can, dude. Yeah, you can. Top, top 10 TV theme songs of all time.

Scrubs! It's my favorite TV theme song. Yeah, so I'm just really worried. I know there's not much to talk about here, and there's a lot of uncertainty in the air, but I didn't want the next episode of Mabin Band to be like, and here's an Altaba answers, and there's no groundwork for it, you know? It's just some things are important.

I have another question. Words still mean things. What if, Griffin, hold on though. What if, I don't want to leave it there. Zag, what if Altaba comes in and like turns this shit around and suddenly everybody's username loads on the first time every time? And there's no more, you'll never believe that Melissa McCarthy is dead ads that pop up, you know?

That's my dream. But I still have to say Altaba answer. Altaba. Altaba. Altaba are... I feel like an asshole just saying it. Alt answers. No, then it's no.

Okay, I'm going to read another Altaba. I'm just going to practice it so that like, when it does switch over, it's normal. Here's some Altaba answers from another one from... Yeah. Level 9000, Altara Druid Druid... See, fucking... Drew Davenport, thank you.

It's from the Nikki Bella who asks, and I don't think this is the wrestler woman, but she asks, is Ronald McDonald a virgin or did he lose his virginity? This is the stuff that like, I don't want to be gone. It can't be gone. I don't know that, Griffin. I want... But if he did, it was with Wendy, all right?

Like, do we finally go too deep for you, Travis? Um, maybe. Now, it might be. Was it with Wendy or was it with the Taco Bell dog? No, it was... Here's my question, you guys. Maybe it's with the Burger King. Hello.

Do you think that this is why there have been different iterations of Ronald McDonald over the year that when he gives away his treasure, his toy surprise, then they have to, like, he is then free to leave and a new Ronald McDonald is brought in. Yeah. Like the Dread Pirate Roberts. So it's, is there a test you could do on Ronald McDonald's

to see if they're still virginal? Now, now, is this, would this be some sort of medical swab? Or what are you, what are you suggesting? Or some kind of like word puzzle? I think you could just ask him because I don't think he can lie. He cannot lie to a child. No, well, we'd need a child to ask him. A child has to ask him if he's had sex

and he can't lie to a child. No, absolutely not. And also, if he's lost his virginity, French fries turn to ash in his mouth. You have to wait until you see the white smoke come out of the chimney of Burger King. Yeah. Why does Burger King get a say? Well, that they just announced it because it's weird for McDonald's to talk about. Yeah.

And I also, I meant to say McDonald's. Just sort of acoustically, I can tell. Are you talking like in your, is your face in your hands and discussed right now? It's basically sort of, my hands are here. They're sort of, yeah, sort of rubbing my head. Every, every, I'm just thinking about if we can come back from this. I mean, the McDonald's sponsorship is out. I think we can all agree that now that ship is sailed, correct?

I mean, I don't, I would be, I'm fine with that. I'm, you know, I'm scrupled. Me and fucking Spurlock, me and Morgan Spurlock hanging out all the time. If the fat fool sees me with a big and tasty in my gob, he will never, he'll cut me off. He will think you're eating a five year old hamburger, which would be a bit. Yeah, that would be. What if McDonald's though, the ad campaign for 2017 was, he did it. And I'm not saying in the commercial, we have to see Ronald McDonald making love.

I'm just saying like, like the new commercial is that same Ronald McDonald. Do you believe in magic, man? But now he's, he's wearing like some fucking cool blue jeans and he's just like walking down the street all smooth. His hair slicked back, you know, and he's wearing some real cool like Warby Parker shades. Yeah. And it's like, bubba bubba bubba. He did it.

I want to call me Ron now. I'm Ron now. I made love. I want to paint the ad for you. Allow me to paint this picture. Yeah. We lights up on a sad little, probably seven year old boy sitting on a bench outside of Mickey D's. And he's like, obviously downtrodden.

He's wearing a medal that says second place in soccer. And he's always, the medal says second place in soccer. Can you please not interrupt me while I'm doing my ad? The medal says second place is soccer. Okay. And then you hear like, boom, boom, boom, boom. And Ron McDonald sits down next to him. Ron McDonald.

He pops his collar and he's like, hey kid, you having a rough day? And the kid's like, yeah, I guess, I guess you could just say that, Ron. And Ron says, well, I know just the thing that could turn that around. And the kid's like burgers and fries from McDonald's. And Ron says, um, yeah, that could work too. I guess. And then he, as he lowers his shade and looks right at the camera, freeze frame. And then the new tagline that he says directly to the camera is McDonald's.

It's what kids have to do to feel good to be put to sunglasses. And then like it fades to black and then the lights come back up and he's still got his sunglasses down. And he's like, but not adults. If you know what I mean. And he wakes and then black out and then the lights come back up and he's still got his sunglasses down. He says, I mean, have sex. I did it. I did it.

Good to now read my new book. Let me fucking paint you a new ad picture. Okay. It's the, it's the jack in the box man and he's, he's doing his fucking bullshit. Right. He's like dressed up as a fucking cowboy and he's advertising a new meal where you can get four tacos and a stank burger and a big old plate of spaghetti all for one dollar. And he's like doing his like funny bit and everybody's like having a good time laughing.

And who's that driving down the street in a big stretch limo? Well, the back window rolls down and you see just like a sweaty Ron and he's not wearing a shirt. And he just looks at the jack in the box man kind of condescendingly. And you can tell that he's like making love in there. And then like the window rolls off, rolls up and it drives up and then it's he's doing it. And it's not a jack in the box commercial anymore. So McDonald's buys a commercial app from underneath them. Yes.

Or another one could be the fucking creepy burger king, king is like peering through a window and who's in that window? It's a, it's a mid-coyote is wrong. And you, and you just, you don't see him. You never see him, but you hear sort of some squeaking and some low moaning. I think a good way to keep this campaign moving because I don't want the campaign to stall. It's so important to reinvent. I think you've seen all the classic ads sort of run out of, even like once people love like

where's the beef or whatever, they, they run out of steam eventually. Bo knows that, you know, I could name other ads, but I feel like we're going to keep the campaign moving forward where each ad Ronald discovers a new sex thing. So he's like more, it's like, bum, bum, bum, bum. There's more holes and he's like excited that he's excited that he found other holes. And then he's like, bum, bum, bum, bum, not just women. You can do it with guys too. You could do it with basically anybody that's willing.

And like in every commercial he finds a new sex thing that he's excited about. It's what I'm so sure. Oh, and then the last commercial he has to learn to love himself. Exactly. By which I mean masturbation. I could have just been doing this the whole time. I could have done this the whole time. All right.

So that, and that was that one. That was that, that was that bit. That bit is that. That was what you heard earlier was the end of it. That was the end of it. This is after it. This is after it. And I hope you all, another classic bit in the books that, but we're done.

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I would like to talk to everybody about their underpinnings. It's underwear. What's on your frame? The rest of the sentence. Really informs. No, it's not a question. This is the rest of the sentence. Really informs, I would say, the rest of your day.

You know what I mean? Like, I don't know if you're like me, but you wake up in the morning and you kind of look through your walk-in closet of underwear and you decide like what kind of day you're going to have. You know, are you going to wear like your favorite pair? Are you going to wear your least favorite pair? Are you going to wear your productive underpants? Are you going to wear your uncomfortable underpants?

Are you going to wear your chain mail underpants? Are you going to wear your lead lined underpants? You really have to decide. It's laundry day, so I'm wearing some non-mundies. And it's a pair of boxers that are like a size two big for me. And to quote the classic song, Huge Basketball Shorts, it's like a Bedouin group tent cinched by a belt. It's no good down there.

And it's ruining this podcast. So we would like you to really get your undercarriage game on point. Much like Justin might modify the undercarriage of his new whip, you can modify your undercarriage with me undies. And you know what? Here's a super fun. And you know, it's a little bit cheesy, but I think it's nice that you can do matching underpants

for you and your partner or partners. You know what I mean? Good town, just an array of me undies. That would be fun, wouldn't it? For your business partners. For your business partners? For your band partners? That might be the thing that brings you out.

Maybe you're like, you know how the Red Hot Chili Peppers always perform with their dicks out? Oh yeah, I love that. Right? That's what I want to see is a bunch of like 50 year old dudes hanging brain at the Super Bowl. Right? Thanks, Chili Pepps.

So maybe your band thing is you all play in matching me undies, right? No, I know what you're thinking. But Travis, I am in the Polyphonic Spree and that would cost way too much. Okay. Well, first of all, thank you for listening. I'm a big fan. Secondly, the good news is you can get free shipping

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You're going to turn it all around. A guarantee. 2017 is the year that if you haven't girded your loins with me undies, you're just not doing it right. Meundies.com slash my brother. I have a message here for Jacqueline and it's from Misty who says, Happy birthday to my favorite older sister.

You did a great job this past year and I'm sure this next year will be even better. You're still an awesome sister even if you're seeing Hamilton three times and only taking me once. You did introduce me to the brothers so I guess it's a fair trade. Happy birthday again from your sweet baby sister.

And wow, that one's for January 13th. We did a good job with the timing on that. Yay. I love, you got to see Hamilton three times because that's when you really start to notice the ARG. Yeah, Lynn is hitting so many, Happy birthday Lynn by the way. Happy birthday Lynn, happy birthday.

Have so many secret messages though and so many like a secret game and like a fun riddle. And there's like call outs that they want you to do to continue to get like you can actually, a lot of people don't know this, but if you watch Hamilton do the call outs at the right time, you actually shift the story.

They're like, oh, we have a puzzle keeper in the audience. There's like an old wizard that is not normally by the show but he comes out and he's like, we have a puzzle keeper. And then the rest of the show just becomes about you trying to solve the, it's still very good. The first time you just watch the show, the second time you look for the clues. The third time, the trick is you got to watch the audience

to find out who the murderer is. Find out who the murderer is. So, but then if you find out the right keyword, at the end of the show, Bert's got his gun pointed to Hamilton, Hamilton points his pistol at this guy. And then you shout, we the people, because that's the catch, that's the key code.

Hamilton points his gun down, shoots Aaron Bert to death. And Hamilton lives. And Hamilton wins. And then there's a, and then, but then you get this good ending. Nobody's gotten the good ending yet. You've only gotten the bad ending. And also here's a little secret that they don't tell you

when you buy your ticket, reach under your chair. There's a little key pad in there and you can vote on which ending you want to see. What kind of your chair? You also get to put on. Reach farther, farther. You get to put on which family submission video is the funniest American home video.

That's what they don't tell you. They don't tell you that. A lot of secret stuff. I have another message. Oh, no, you can do it. Yes. Do you mind? I got a message for Sarah and Ty.

It's from dad. It's from mom. It's from Rachel. It's from Elliot. It's from Tim and it's from Elizabeth. Congratulations on your wedding. We hope your new life together is full of love, joy and puppies.

Now let the brothers three say it. Well turn. Well, Tim. Well, Tim. Well, Tim, you to married life with our theme song. We are the culture family and we are hospitable in every single little way possible. We've got fire hazards in every room.

Just make sure you're not here when it goes. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That's a theme song. That's a good theme song. Thanks. No, it's not. I'm not congratulating you and congratulating this family. You didn't write it.

There is a lot of notation here. It's fully orchestrated and stuff. Congratulations, Sarah and Ty. Rest of the family. Get the fuck together. Fire is serious business, y'all. It's a real. Don't make us call somebody like have a building inspector

come in and shut you down. Well, I'll call the fire police the cop who's also a fireman. He's the most powerful. He's the most powerful because he has jurisdiction over both over legal law and fire law. So you better watch out and you better not cry. And they let him use an axe and a gun. He's got an axe and a gun so you better watch out.

Better say your prayers. When I was a kid, I used to see the the fire inspector come by and I thought his job was to tell if it was a fire or not. Oh, yeah, this was done by a fire. This one was a fire. Guys, back it up. Hi, brothers. My boyfriend today did this joke kiss thing

where he leaned in with his mouth wide open to put his mouth over the top of my mouth and also my nose. Oh, my God. Instinctually, I tapped him pretty hard in the balls. I do not feel the punishment fits the crime and I'm wondering what kind of gift I should get that says I'm sorry for balls happening you. Any suggestions?

Thanks. And that's from sorry about your sandbags in Seattle. All right. It's a funny thing about the ball tap. Yeah. Because if you don't have balls, you might like it. When you see people get kicked in the nards, like Wolfman or whoever get kicked in the nards.

A lot of times you think like, oh, that's must be the most painful thing. It's actually the tap is worse. The tap is worse. The worst ball pain, I think, is when you're wrapping up an extension cord and you're not taking great care. And you're not wearing pants.

I hear a laugh of recognition. Everybody goes with everybody who has balls goes through this one. I think sometimes you're wrapping up an extension cord and it just gives that light to you with that tap. It's just like nausea. It's rough. It's really rough.

I was laughing because it would be funny if we just talked about different ways you could get hit in your gyms for like the next 20 minutes. Like I love that. Maybe like a bee lands on your crotch and someone's trying to be helpful. And they hit it with a newspaper. It's very good.

I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about nut shots because we are, that ain't us. That just ain't us. I like to think we're a little bit better than this Ashton Kutcher form of humor. And we got at least 20 more episodes. We've got to stretch it a little bit.

We don't want to burn it out. Stretching it out is another painful way. But I do want to say that I do actually think the punishment fit the crime because they tried to do baby CPR on you. And that is unacceptable. That's actually, I think,

how the Dementor's kiss works. Yes. He's got to be careful with that shit. You might have saved your life. You don't know. Maybe this whole like boyfriend thing has just been a long con to eat your soul. To make you.

I took a baby CPR class. I'm like, you just put your whole mouth over basically their entire face. And it's like, oh, really? Kiddo. Like, I wouldn't like that basically at all. And I know it's a life-saving procedure, but like, oh boy, their whole face.

Yeah, the whole head basically just popping in your mouth like a jawbreaker and you breathe real hard. Shit, that seems like it was stink. But oh, all right. I can't imagine having that be done to me as a person. No, thank you.

I think you're on solid ground here. Yeah, no one should do that. He shouldn't have done that to you. And I mean, like, he'll remember. He's not going to try it again. Absolutely not. The three of you enter a cave of a big red dragon and it's standing over a horde of precious golden rubies.

And he says, what do you do, adventurers? I'm a dragon, man. I cast fire on him. It's very good. I addressed the red dragon to say, us, we're the hosts of The Adventure Zone, a podcast about family playing dungeons and dragons. Very good synergy.

Commit to the bit. I rolled the charm new listeners. It is very effective. Against all odds. Everybody wear the macros. We host The Adventure Zone. It's a podcast where we play Dungeons and Dragons together. It's a comedy podcast.

We don't take the rules too seriously because there's a lot of them and we did not take the time to learn them. Maybe listen to us. We come out every other Thursday on the Maximum Fun Network. You can find us on iTunes or on maximumfund.org. I think this promo is a critical hit.

I have a yahoo real quick here I could do. Okay. It's from Altaba Answers user Drew Davenport. It's from Altaba's own Drew Davenport. That's his new name. Altaba's own. It's from Altaba user Hominie Domini who asks, do you know some movie, cartoon or book

with same style of monkey bone? Maybe the nearest it that I know be the mask or movies of Tim Burton. And yet, it's not exactly that I quest. Okay. You know how sometimes those like fake news stories pop up at the bottom of other news stories and they say like,

why no one will ever cast such and such in a movie again? I often see that for Brendan Fraser. And I'm like, oh, I know why. Oh no, I've got it. I like Brendan Fraser. I do too. I love Brendan Fraser. But that's cool.

And we've, listen, we've talked about the nine lives of Brendan Fraser's career many times before. But like he in like one year made like the remake of bedazzled monkey bone and like six other movies. Can we just talk quick pivot? I was listening to a recent Rosebuddies where your wife Rachel said

she's never seen a Brendan Fraser film. Yeah, what? What? It's pretty wild. Have you not accidentally see a Brendan Fraser movie? I think she's, I think sometimes on that show, she just like, she says stuff to sound more erudite than I am.

But you know, she's seen George of the Jungle and loved it. She saw George of the Jungle and George of the Jungle too and loved both of them, even though I don't think Brendan's in the second one. She's just so hungry for that Fraser content. One time she watched, oh, this is great. We were scrolling through Netflix and she was like,

what's this show? And I was like, Fraser? And she was like, yeah, let's watch it. And she was like, where's Brendan the whole time? And I was like, he's not in this one. That one? It's Kelsey in this one. How do you not at least see Encina, man?

Yeah, we can. We can't. We've in the juice. I know, yeah. Love, Brendan Fraser, what the fuck were we talking about? Monkey Bone, is there, so it's like a recommendation we can do like a Netflix recommendation. How you watch one documentary on like how grains are harvested

in Turkey or something like that. And it's like, oh, here's 100 more grain movies. Oh, I got it. I don't know I've got it Griffin. I've got it. I've got it You like monkey bone. I love monkey. I love monkey bone must love monkey then you might like cool world Cool world is very monkey bone. Oh, yeah, man cool world on the SNES Love that you control Jack the cat from cool world and you're just like Doing it was Brad Pitt in cool world Brad Pitt was cool world. Yeah

I Love the monkey bone game on the J&ES And it was that one console only have four games on it and it was monkey bone it was Gremlins 3 It was Tiger Woods PGA tour 11. So they did make one. They released one more late game I believe that was the street ball version Mm-hmm. Can everybody just give me 45 seconds

Cool world for the super Nintendo entertainment system has a Wikipedia page the Wikipedia page will fill a single browser window It is not extensive the largest section is gameplay. It is broken into two paragraphs Here is the full text of that section The player controls Jack who must avoid being surrounded by the popper police a cartoon police force or get arrested Depending on how many times the player is broken the law and whether he has collected the in-game currency of Nichols that's italicized or not The player will either get a lecture by detective Frank Harris and or be forced to pay bail money Tank coins is the usual bail required by detective Harris

Players can visit Las Vegas to increase their nickel stash and store their coins at the cool world bank Other in that's first paragraph other in game locales include a pawn shop that allows them to buy items to be traded or bought with nickels In addition to the stash Slash club where the player arranges a date with Hollywood at Hollywood's house The player must navigate the exterior of the house in order to reach the date with Holly If the player did not arrange a date with Holly before reaching the top Jack is tossed back to the ground level in the mall shop Candy can be found in addition to other suites. However entry is restricted to players who have collected several pieces of candy

end of That's a good one Yeah, watch out gotta play gotta get my hands on this cart now Nintendo power did give that bad boy 3.25 out of 5 power unlimited went with 75% rating in their July 1993 You know three quarters of it's pretty good. There's a I didn't like the mall level with the candy But I love the pawn shop though and the very graphic the graphics on shop and the sex scene were the graphics were amazing This is three fourths of the way to the greatest game. You could possibly make Basically, I look at I look at this. I look at link to the past and I say like this is only 25% worse than this

Cool world man, what a trip that's a good recommendation for this Didn't get Brad Pitt on the box though. Did not get Brad Pitt. There's a there's a cartoon Kim Bassenger But not Brad Pitt Tom Cruise situations where like he won't allow his spirit to be sucked up in a video game cartridge I have a recommendation if you like monkey bone You will love c-biscuit No, why is that okay? well

Chris Catan is in it And he plays he plays monkey bone And he's a rival jockey, but he's like up to no good. So it's an unofficial non-canonical sequel. Is that what you're saying? It's canada. It is canonical C-biscuits in the bone verse baby and a lot of movies aren't you don't realize it Hamilton's technically in the monkey bone verse Mmm. Just nobody knows it because it's in the good ending. Here's a question I have a problem where I can't throw away any stuffed animals or put them in my closet because I don't want to hurt their feelings

Fuck you toy story The real issue is that whenever people come over they see my stuffed animals Assume I collect them and then get me more as gifts. Oh, that's rough It's nice of them, but I am 20 years old and I have about 50 stuffed animals now and I'm running out of room on my bed How do you politely tell people to stop getting me stuffed animals? Uh, that's from entombed in east Lansing Hmm You don't see that part of toy story where Andy's just like crushed by the emotional weight

Of having all these toys and his mom's like look. I got you a new year. It's dash Rendar he's like fucking another toy that like I can't uh Hello dash. I had dash Rendar point me which way to boba fed but kick his ass Okay, well Day, don't let me die or get rid of me. Okay. God. It's like I have 40 kids. This sucks. I hate my toys I'm a star wars character without any super powers or laser sorts of everybody's favorite I don't have like a cool motorcycle thing I'm nothing if you carry me out on the street and let me go and I fall into a drain

It's like you've murdered a real person. All right, dash. Fuck Do you just want to stay in my room? I guess yeah, but don't let the cat get me. It'll actually kill me like it's killed a real person The problem is if you get rid of your stuff some of your stuffed animals people will come by and say Supplies look a little low Let me top you off with a few more stuffed animals This one this is susan the rabbit and she has to take these pills twice a day Okay Just more responsibility. You don't need all this responsibility on your shoulders at 20 years old

I think you need to divest Or maybe come up with like a fictional sort of plague That sweeps through you know what I mean? And that's a dark way to take it But if you're worried about offending the like spirits or whatever of these stuffed animals, maybe some of them like I don't know Died and then you can't you can't get rid of them. I know that's a dark way to take this But it solves the problem pretty well Well, there's a there's a lighter way to go with this and the answer is in the question You got you're stuck in toy story one

You gotta get the toy story three and give these to a child Who will appreciate having a hundred stuffed animals all over their bed You know what I mean? Like you they're a problem now You need to put away such childish things And start a new journey for you know, mr. Bear mcguggins now give them to a neighborhood child Don't get don't do a toy story too though and give one of them to a weird pervert Because then you actually end up with more toys at the end of the movie You it's a it's a net toy game

And I cannot I suggest you know people do Christmas cards I would like to suggest a new kind of card that you can send out to everybody People use Christmas cards to update people with like their life scenario, whatever I want to suggest a new kind of card called I'm out the game cards And basically here's what this would be It would be a picture of you with all your stuffed animals and at the top it would say in huge letters I'm out the game and on the inside it would say see all these motherfuckers. They're headed to the dumpster This chapter of my life is over and everybody needs to be made aware of that, but you don't

You don't do anything like you don't get rid of them You keep them and if people come by Just be like, yeah, I haven't made it to the dumpster yet, but soon I'm gonna get there But then everybody will know that you're out of the game And they won't get you any more stuffed animals Any hobby any hobby that you're over like if nine-year-old griffin could have said everybody Uh, I'm out the game regarding NASCAR Which he had a brief flirtation with the the reverberation didn't I I teased I teased with it

Yeah, and and you didn't quite didn't quite shake it For a while. I got a NASCAR. I got a fucking NASCAR like fathead That I had hung up on the wall of my room for like a minute and I was like, what am I doing? This isn't me But he knew he was out the game, but other people didn't know that he was out of the game So I'm saying we need to make it a custom That you make you make a broad sweeping announcement that everybody should be aware that you're out of a particular game That you're no longer in the game

Uh, but then like what if they've already bought me, you know, the joey legato fathead to hang up alongside the the the dj3 If you're in the trash DJs because it would definitely be de would be dealer and heart And he's definitely junior not the third. So I kind of like man Racing right like there's so many racers. It's hard to keep them all straight. I think it's racist If you're following choice if you're following toy story rules Um, then if you have your stuffed animals

Somewhere where you can see them easily that you're robbing life seconds from them Honestly, because they can't live their lives as long as you can see them So the kindest thing you could do for them is put them in an attic Where they can build a new society free from your tyrannical rule and they can live forever up there And they never have to shut off their spirits and you can live your life downstairs and everybody can just go back to business That's what I would do. That's the toy floor. We don't go up there. They have their life We have ours if we go up there. We kill them. So we have to stay when you see them. They're dead. So You would think there would be one scene in toy story of like a toy like sneezing

And everybody being like what right like the toy sneezes when it's in dead mode Yeah Because they're just pretending to be toys Yeah Yeah, I mean Definitely toy movie. That's sort of like The christmas toy christmas right that one. Yeah, that's kind of like it follows toy story loss sort of But if you get spotted, you're dead. Yeah

That's but you're still a toy. That's the thing just your anima your your soul is ripped from your toy body And you are then and the worst part about that is is like and not to jump into the old internet You know toy story. What if they die, but like Then that toy's still there. It's not like the human picks up and goes Souls out of it. Better get rid of this one. This one's got a soul. Uh got a soul dumpster Uh, so this has been my brother my brother and me an advice show for the modern era. We hope you've enjoyed yourself Sorry about killing all those toys at the end. I think he's got a little dark And sorry about what else were the ronald sex thing was like out of line really sorry about that basis

Even bringing that awful britain frazier movie to my like attention. You manifested it into my universe I don't know. I can forgive you for that. That's a nightmare. That may be should be white from existence So sorry about all that stuff, but we hope you've managed to enjoy yourself somehow against all odds Um, we have anything cooking that we wanted to tell people about anything that we in the hopper I would like to do a little plug for a new project. Uh that I am starting this week. Um So me and hal leblon who is uh, you know another host of general podcasts and a good friend of mine We're starting a podcast called surprisingly nice Uh where we sit down with people that we are both friends and fans of and um, just have a super pleasant conversation

We just recorded our first episode with adam savage and topics of discussion included. What's your favorite kind of weather and why? What's your favorite smell that you would never find as a Yankee candle? When you have ice cream, do you eat it right away or let it melt a little? Um, and we it's very nice and um It's uh, the kind of hook of it is Each episode there will be a 45 minute version made available for free to everybody And there will also be an extended version On bandcamp for a dollar and all money From those sales goes to a charity of the guests choosing

So in episode one adam savage chose the standing rock tribe So all money from the sale of those episodes Will go to standing rocks So if you want to check that out, uh all the free episodes will be on itunes and we'll also tweet out the link the twitter is The nice cast And you can also find the extended versions on bandcamp at bit.ly forward slash Surprisingly nice our moniker's expansion came out. Um, and so if you bought one of those then you should have it Or have it very soon

If you didn't I don't I don't think there's is there going to be a way to get it after this I think we warned people fairly Fairly well that it was a one-time dealie um So yeah, I I hope you all enjoy it. I'm really happy with how it turned out. It's cool that we have like a card game thing That uh that like has all our our dumb jokes on it And thank you to the to the moniker's folks for for doing that with us. It was a lot of fun

um Our c-so show is coming out soon in like a month and that's gonna be really that's gonna be really good too There should be more stuff about it coming out soon more video stuff that I think y'all are gonna like um Thanks to john roger can the long winters for the use of our theme song instead of part your off the album putting the days to bed It's a very very very good album to listen to during this long winter Also, I want to thank maximum fun for having us go to maximumfund.org and go check out all the shows on there Because there's a bunch of really great programs

And I think you're gonna like all of them And if you want to hear more stuff or see more videos that uh, we're on you can go to macaroyshows.com and find all that there also our contact info and Twitter handles and stuff like that is also On macaroyshows.com Uh, well folks That's it Yeah, so I have a final yahoo here and it's sent in by

What's wrong? Yeah, it's just like Justin suddenly forgot how he ended every episode of the show. Yeah Sorry, I'm still getting into this call. I don't feel great. I'm just trying my best Don't say that you didn't like this episode because I was trying my best He's trying his best everybody try my best believe it or not um This one was sent in by uh, uh, uh, man A lot of people sent in some really good ones this week, but this closer was sent in by level 9000. Altaba user Drew drew a drew Davenport. Sorry. Is that the hat trick? Yep. Yeah, damn

Uh, thank you drew it's from altaba answers user brian who asks What hookah tobacco smells like sex or a sexy woman? Why are you just a macaroy? I'm travis macaroy. I'm griffin macaroy. This has been my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips Oh Mugs shirts stickers patches tanks and more are yours for the purchasing at maxfunstore.com Hey, you already love the podcasts So why not take this to the next level and outfit your home and bod with our merch maxfunstore.com because if you have to wear a shirt it should be one of ours

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