My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 342: Pigeons in the Strike Zone

Episode Date: February 13, 2017

We know that Valentine's Day can be rough for some folks, so in this episode, we take the whole idea of the holiday to task. Like, when they hear our incisive rips in this episode, they might just cancel the whole dang holiday this year. Suggested talking points: Taco Bell Dragnet, One Good Fall, Great Valentine's Day Jokes, Self-Spoilers, Plane Movies, Birds vs. Humanity

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin Tyler McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, Travis Tyler McElroy, and I am your sweet baby brother, Forbes 30 under 30 media luminary, Griffin Andrew McElroy, the first. The first of his name. The first of his name and also number

one of the 30. They don't rank the 30, but you know. Sleigh bells ring, it's romantic. Interesting. In the lane, it's romantic. Romance all around. It's all over town. Walking in a romance wonderland. It's my favorite Valentine's Day tune. Valentine's Day is here again. I think there's only one Valentine's Day song, and it's D'Angelo's How Does It Feel? I think that's the only official. If there were a Valentine's Day carol, it would be How Does It Feel by D'Angelo. And the complete works of Jodeci. Yeah, that would work for sure. And also pretty much all the Casey and Jojo songs too, right? Yeah, basically. If it was in now, that's what I call music volumes like six through 13, I think it would, I think it would count. I can't

remember the artist, but that butterfly song is like, you're my butterfly. That was absolutely crazy town, Travis. Thank you, Griffin. Thank you for freeing me from this prison. No, I'm saying it's crazy town that you apparently enjoy that song. I don't enjoy it. Oh, let me clarify. I do not enjoy it, Griffin. I just recognize that it's the reason for the season. You know what I mean? Just fit the time. I just want to take a second highlight the hubris of us saying, let's do Valentine's Day for the intro and then just agreeing on it and then just expecting something. A comedy to happen. Yeah, there would be humor. Expecting the comedy to find us, you know? Yeah. I mean, we're mediums for this force

that we don't quite understand. It's a bad time of year, right? For a lot of folks. And I thought maybe we could poke fun at it and just do it be like a reverent about it. And people would find strength in that. But I guess not. I guess we just don't got it. More like Valentine's Day. Okay. Oh, okay. There's something there. There's something there. There's something there. Okay, let's look around. We can make it like a horse. Like a funny horse thing. People love that. So we do that. And then people all of a sudden, they're not thinking about loneliness. They're thinking about all of our good horse jokes that we've done. Well, that's what we've learned from doing this show for so many years, right? That somewhere in

the world, there's one horse for every human. Oh, that's good. That it's just your, that's your, maybe Valentine's Day is the day that like you try to find your horse, you know? I'm just spitballing here. I'm just catamari domicing around trying to pick up some humor. Just rolling up some horses with your big balls. Just rolling up some horses. So if you wanted to hear an intro about Valentine's Day, that is your option for that one. Oh, we're doing multiple, like a choose your own adventure. That's your multiple option for that one. I have a second one that I would like to suggest. Let's hear it. There is a development near my home called Kinetic Park. And it's across, if you, you know, the one, it's across the street from the Wendy's and the Arby's.

Yeah. I think it was envisioned as sort of like a high tech sort of acropolis where just a bunch of great sort of scientific buildings came together to sort of create a new sort of scientific escape up on a beautiful hill. And so far they do have Bob Evans. And a dentist. There's a dentist. There's a Bob Evans, a dentist, an Amazon, a hotel, a car dealership, and a gymnastics place. But that's not what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about there's a huge sign outside of Kinetic Park listing the businesses. And one of the businesses listed is Taco Bell. I don't know if you guys are familiar. Taco Bell. Yeah. On the sign listing among the Kinetic Park businesses,

that sign has been there for six months. And there's still not a Taco Bell. And I'm kind of feeling like maybe the people who run Kinetic Park are participating in like some, the secret sort of a field of a field of dreams aske situation. Positive. Yeah. Positive visualization, law of attraction, like attracts, like sort of thing where if they put Taco Bell on the sign, eventually one will. Yeah. By putting that up, by putting that energy out there, they're inviting Johnny Taco Bell seed to come plant his plants in the fertile earth and then Taco Bell will just sprout up right next to the Bob Evans and dentist office. Justin, may I offer an alternate theory that perhaps what you're dealing with here is like perhaps a Taco Bell,

speak easy or speak cheesy, if you will. And this. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I won't. I won't. Well, Griffin's out, but let me keep pitching to Justin, my angel investor. It's in the basement of the Amazon Fulfillment Center is a Taco Bell that you can only get into if you know the secret code for that week. And then you can get the gorditas you crave. Okay. Fascinating. Now, I do have to say that the one thing that is suspect about this and the one thing I will give them credit for is there are a few Taco Bells in Huntington right now. There's the one on route 60. There's the one outside Walmart. There's the one on Fifth Avenue. There's the one in the West End. There is the one near the mall. And then there's one across the

bridge over in Ohio. There's like six within about eight minutes of my house. So I do have to give it to them statistically speaking, there probably will be a Taco Bell there. I mean, it just seems to be the way the tide is going. What they've established here is a Taco Bell dragnet where just sort of human flotsam and Jetsam will wander in and accidentally just law of large numbers be in a Taco Bell eating their bad food. Right. It's statistics is what it is about science. I'm walking and I stop paying attention to my direction for just a moment. And all of a sudden I'm caught in the Taco Bell dragnet. And all of a sudden I'm eating a very bad Taco or something, whatever they have here. That's what I actually have here. If you look Justin on the sign at

Connecticut Park, it actually just, it says in very tiny letters underneath Taco Bell, probably. Yeah. Because it's very likely that there will just be a Taco Bell there. Yeah. Yeah. We assume Taco Bell soon. So do we have a third option? No, those are the two options. So you can choose between those. Just get your phone. Yeah. Text Valentine's or Taco Bell to 676-885. Yeah. That's mabin bam if you do the numbers. And we should say charges apply. Charges will apply, especially since we don't know where the fuck that goes to. We don't know where that's going. Yeah. We don't know where that's going to go. So again, your choices are a very bad Valentine's Day run. Just like a really, really bad

run is generous, honestly. Yeah. Sort of a stumble. A smattering of Valentine's Day vomit or some very hyper local Taco Bell humor. So again, those are your only two options. And if you don't like the fucking gruel we're serving up, then I don't know. Go listen and go listen and stop podcasting yourself or something. Maybe they'll treat you right. Maybe they'll have more options. Yeah. Maybe they've got something for you because I don't right now. But we do have a Valentine's Day present for you of sorts. Oh, okay. Yeah. And that is so we're doing a screening of an episode and a live Q&A this week for the TV show coming out. And we're going to include everybody in it. So you can watch it if you go to facebook.com

slash CISO TV at 7 30 p.m. Eastern time on the 15th on February 15th. So in two days, if you're listening to this on Monday, and we're going to do an episode that you should be able to watch there and a Q&A. I think those will be two separate streams, but I think you can watch them both. So go like that Facebook page now, facebook.com slash CISO TV. So you give the notifications and stuff. But 7 30 p.m. Eastern on Wednesday, we're going to be doing that. And the Q&A is hosted by Elliot Kalin of Flop House and everything else. And you know, Max Fun, it's going to be great. Do we know the episode they're showing? I hope it's a good one. Me too. I hope it's not one of the clunkers. I hope it's not one of the clunker. I mean,

we made six. So like any clunkers, that's a pretty bad clunker percentage. But all right, who's ready to do the thing that we really did? Let's get into our core competencies. Okay. This first question is sent to us by Luke and it says, I haven't fallen down in several years. I'm worried that this is leading up to one particularly bad fall. God. What's the best way to introduce a fall naturally so that this impending fall will no longer loom over me? Luke. Luke. Now, to be fair, Luke did say induce a fall naturally, not introduce a fall naturally, as Justin has said. It's the same thing. This is my friend a fall. I don't want to talk ill will of a dead or tell tales out of school.

Fucking Dr. Adkins was on his fucking like, he was on that dude was on a roll. Are you kidding me? That dude lost, made the world lose like a trillion pounds. And he was like, I'm fucking unstoppable today. I got my ketosis going. Slip fall died perished. He passed away because he hadn't fallen in like 60 years. He never fell his whole life. And then he had one very good or very bad depending on how you look at it fall. Like the fall was good. Like as far as falls go like, man, it was it was a good old fall. Like it did some stuff, you know, and you can't you can't do it on a padded area, right? Like that's a cheat. Like you can't go to Boji's gymnast or the gym factory or something and just like fall into like the big foam pit.

No, I think we'll not count. I think the problem is, is if you plan it, if you do it on purpose, you're just clumsily laying down. I don't think that counts as a fall. I think you have to like get a confidant. You have to bring in that was just about to say, right? Yeah. Did you did you guys ever in I'm going to go ahead and say middle school is probably the time where this is the most likely to happen. Have one of those situations where one bully kind of hunches down behind you and another bully pushes you and using the second bully is leveraged and you got to give these bullies credit for their like science understanding of like basic physical scientific principles. You do trip and fall over and it hurts double back because you know,

two people work together to hurt your feelings in your bottom. That's that they're they're a greet. That's basically a club. Yes. Against you. It's a very small club, but it's a club against you. Yeah. I somebody did that to me one day and there's a mud puddle behind me in my backpack landed in it and it got on my books all wet. And I remember thinking like, why you guys just did that? Like you guys just looked over and you're like, let's do this thing. And then you actually did it. So I will say Griffin, to that point, that's very frustrating, but it used to be back in like the 40s and 50s that that's all it took to make someone into a superhero. Like they would get pushed down in a mud puddle once or twice, add to that some

kind of cosmic or radioactive element. And that was enough for them to like become Spider-Man. Right. They didn't they didn't have to have these huge tragedies, but two bullies executed a well organized plan. It was good. It was a good put. Like it was a good Spider-Man. It was a good but like bullying is wrong and bad. So don't do it. But like they did it pretty good. Like they did it pretty good. They made it to state. We made it that kind of bullying teamwork. I think you need to hire two friends to do this to you is what I'm saying. But but it's like you can't it's like that it's like tit liquid. You know, once you hire them to do it, it's done. You can't know when it's coming and you can't undo it is the thing. This is also that time because we get this question

a lot where it's like I have this friend and all my friends think that they're a jerk and I spend so much of my time defending them. This is where that friend really comes in handy. This is where it's like, Hey, you're my bully ish most like you're the most bully friend I have and I need to like bring you on. This is your this is your expertise and I need you to bully me please. But I think I think I would bully my friend if they need a grip and I haven't fallen in a long time and I'm worried I'm going to have a doctor I can spill a roux and I was like, I've got you and they're going to like walk out of their house one day and I'll be there hidden on their front porch behind a ficus or something. I'll come and I'll push them down the stairs and I'll be like that was a pretty

bad one. But look at this. I got a six pack and I got some pizza and I got an ice pack. Let's go back inside and just like hang out for a little bit. I'm here to I'm here to treat you when the person falls. Do they have to land for it to count or could you have a third friend that's like the spotter that's like you fall but what's that? I've got your friend who catches you. I've got you. I'll always get you. I'm always going to be there to get you. Now Travis, it doesn't count. That doesn't count as a big. We have violated the premise of the question. Honestly guys, honestly, if someone pushes you, no one gets pushed over and someone says what happened and you say I fell. You didn't fall. You got pushed over. That's different.

I guess that's true. You can't get pushed. You'd hire me to come loosen a stone or something. You look for like their driveway and you in slicking it with some sort of whatever Kevin McAllister uses in HA2 to like that big tube of whatever goop they sell to children for no reason other than to make people fall. Yeah. I mean, that was Nickelodeon's whole like fucking bread and butter. They were in the black for so long because they basically sold children toys you could use to make burglars fall and hurt themselves. I'm talking about, I'm talking about that gag. You lay some of that gag down. Your day is over. Ackens probably got gacked. We don't know. They didn't crime scene that one.

Big popcorn gag. Talk to Ackens. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys want to Yahoo? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, let's talk more about V-Day because we did so good the first time. This one's sitting by Caitlin Gardner. Thank you, Caitlin. So Yahoo answers user question mark who asks, I need funny Valentine's quotes. Please help, smiley face, but it's with a capital D. So it's like really happy and it's like, what are you compensating for? By funny quotes, I mean funny forever alone quotes. Pictures are cool too. If you find anything, you smiley face.

This one is just regular, no capital D. What? Just funny Valentine's. Let me just give you some example onies. Skater whose profile picture is a mignon. It might pronounce it that right. Are they mignons? Yep. Okay. Asks or says in their best answer, in their best answer that people voted on and said, this one's the best. I'm going to spend Valentine's Day with my true love food. That's the best. Let me try again. I'm going to spend Valentine's Day with my true love food. Can you say ACK afterwards in a Cathy Eskimana? It's a silent ACK. Yeah. An implied ACK. Yeah. I mean, here's some more good ones from just Yahoo answers user two,

the number two. So when they were filling out their profile, they're like, this is who I am. Two, number one, people say they cannot live without love. I say oxygen is more important. Haha, so true. So I mean, yeah, like if somebody, if you're having a bad Valentine's Day and somebody comes up to you and it's like, people say they can't live without love, I say oxygen is more important. And then like, you just, that's a chuckle, that's a chuckle buster. You know, that also is, I like that because it's handy because it also acts as an explanation as to why this person might be alone. Yeah. And here's a number two, look at this picture. And here's a link and I'm going to click the link. It's a virus. It's a virus website. You got a virus on your Peter.

So number three is the sad moment when realize the trash goes out more than you do. I'm feeling better about my Valentine's Day actually already. I wasn't feeling good about Valentine's Day, but then somebody made a good joke. And here, here I am just smiling. I have one that I think would be pretty, pretty effective actually. All right, let's hear it, Justin. Guess what I'm doing for Valentine's Day. And then the person says like, what, or there's an implied what, or whatever. And then you say, whatever the fuck I want to. Oh, all right. Cause that's like really leaning into the strength of being single on Valentine's Day. It's like, I don't know, whatever, fucking, I've go, I've had a Legion on the DVR for a while, go fire that up,

maybe get some KFC, just have a night. I don't know. I might go check out John Wick too, by myself, or whatever time I want. I can see that movie at 10 o'clock in the morning when the tickets are cheapest. Can I modify it just with like one thing's use? After you say it, you just do a quack jerk off motion. Just cause I or a slow or a slow one. Either one is fine. That's no variable speed. How about this one from Yahoo, it's using your question mark who has 0% best answers. They've been a member for four years on February 13th. Oh, that's tomorrow. Four years after tomorrow, still haven't locked down a best answer. That's fine. There's still

time. There's not much time left for yahoo answers. Roses are red. Violence are blue. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Vodka costs less than dinner for two. So that is highly dependent on a lot of factors and not been incorporated. And then yahoo answers. These are guild is really just to go ahead and just went ahead says who needs love when you have food. So a lot of like food is this. I don't have food. I don't like the reverse implication of that, which is to say if you are in love with someone, you no longer appreciate food. I do. I'm happily married and I enjoy food quite a bit. Not as much though, Travis. I have so much love. I would compete with people in that regard. Griffin, I would throw down a challenge gauntlet to anyone says I don't

enjoy food as much as they do. You only have so much love. You can either give it to a person or you can give it to food. That's what the American Pie movie was all about. Right? I think. I believe that's what happened in that movie. Yeah. The problem with the food ones and I think Travis is hitting on it is like everybody gets food. Yeah. If you're going to have like a cool like anti Valentine's Day thing, you got it's got to lean into your strength. That's why mine emphasize freedom. That's one of the things that as a single person, you would have over somebody who would have to do something for Valentine's Day. Like you have the freedom. What are some other strengths of being single potential? I guess that's one. Yeah. You know what I mean?

You get to mix it up with with whoever. I have a good. Here's what here's what if somebody came between was like Valentine's Day, huh? I would say, you know what my thing would be? And I'm about to sign up for a Yahoo Answers user account, which no, I have not done in the seven years you've been doing this podcast, just so I can drop this one on him. Or somebody was like Valentine's Day, huh? I'd be like, yeah. Hallmark is a business. Hallmark is a business or something like that. Nice. That's pretty good. Because I feel like I'm really getting to the root of it. Like Hallmark is a business. So they'll sell those candies to anybody. Yeah. You don't get carded. You can buy a big box for yourself. Do you know when that candy is most delicious?

The 15th of February. February 15th, my friends. Yeah. Suddenly heart shaped candy is no longer, I guess, at full price because God forbid you eat chocolate any other day. You go fucking like Walgreens on the 15th. You got to get there early or the real bargain hunters are going to clear that out. It's like Black Friday times a million. But you got to get in there and you get that half priced box. I put my whole savings account into a long term six month CD for Valentine's candies. And on February 15th, I lost my future. But it's like they say Hallmark is just a business, you know? So just like keep your fucking, I think I would add that to it. Like Hallmark's a business keep your fucking wits about you. Do you think every February 1st like stock sales of Hallmark

just like go through the roof and then like February 15th all just sold off? That's what I'm saying. Stocks are so goofy, man. Like if you invest in Christmas businesses, you better sell them by Christmas is all I'm saying. Mad money too. The brothers do it. You should buy all the Valentine's Day cards on February 15th, all the ones they got in their shelves and then come back on the next February 13th and sell them back to the store. And that way you could get a pretty good profit going that way, I think. See, I was going to be hurting. I like yours, Justin, because yours is like a profit game. I was going to say you go in on February 13th, you buy all the candy and then you return it on the 15th. And that's just mean, my version

Well, that stops other people from being able to buy the candy and it just really sticks it to Hallmark and big love. Oh, fuck that big business. Oh, Travis, that's good shit, man. That's such a, and that's a zag is what we do because we could take Hallmark down. We can take them down. This could be the year, you know. Hey, everybody, it's the 13th. Go buy a bunch of candy. Go buy a bunch of candy. Yes, prank him so bad. And then on the 15th, I guess return it and then do not eat it. It's so important. It's going to be so to principle the thing because Hallmark or no, because it's probably full of like nano machines that know when it's been eaten, you know, they, hey, what is it? Hallmark should show the fuck up for Halloween. It's like,

we got all this chocolate. It's just like, who can even comprehend what all these big businesses are doing other than ruining our lives? I have another question. Hey, brothers, I just like being surprised. So before I see a movie, started TV show or book series, I typically look up a plot synopsis. Now, when some things aren't covered there, I still end up enjoying surprises. But I haven't been able to stop myself from checking out plots. So am I ruining my own fun? Or is this fine to continue? It looks for flummox in the big apple. It's bad. It's bad. I would say it's bad to continue. It's, you just said that you like them. This is kind of green eggs and ham thing, huh?

You didn't like, you didn't think you'd like surprises, and then you try to surprise a little one. A little surprise. It was still in there. It was a little surprise in there, and you did like it. I get this 100%. I mean, I started watching that series of unfortunate events, and I was like, oh, I can't wait for the next season. So I had to get on the Wikipedia and read all that. And ruin the whole thing? Yeah, just ruin it for myself. Just take this thing you really like, and then make it so you used all of the goodness up of it. But it also, Griffin, it's like suddenly having a magic power, like you're suddenly psychic, where it's like, I know the future. Suddenly, I know the future. You know what I mean? Like,

I don't have to work. Like, all these chumps are waiting to find out what happens in season two of series of unfortunate events. I already know. I already know what happens. I have the power now. Take that Netflix and Neil Patrick Harris. I have the power now. Oh, I'm feeling psychic powers coming on too, and I'm seeing it in the future. And those people are enjoying this show more than you are, because they didn't ruin it for themselves. I'm getting wave of familiarity, Griffin. Like, I already read the Harry Potter books before I saw the Harry Potter movies. I didn't like them less. I liked them more because my friends Ron and Hermione and Harry were up there doing the things we talked about them doing years prior.

Yeah, and you know that in the sixth movie book, Ron gets eaten by a hydra, and you're like, nice. Look at this little kid in movie two. I know what's going to happen to you. The hydra's going to get you. The hydra's going to get you. You say that out loud in the theater. The hydra's going to get him, not now, but soon. People love that shit, man. Don't do this thing to yourself. What are you talking about? Why would you do this? Because you're curious, because you get, because maybe you're the type of person that does not like uncomfortable or tense situations. So you just like to know that everything's going to end up okay. I do have, I have asked for this service to be invented by somebody before. I would like to know just like a vibe. Like,

what's my vibe going to be after it? Like, that's all I want. I want to be able to look up a film when I worked it. When I worked the vlog was the video. I've probably told this story before, but I'll be quick. It's either the one where you stole showgirls or stole Fight Club. Which one is it? Didn't steal showgirls. I had Tommy Redd come over while we were on vacation and tape it off at HBO. No, this was when I was working there. And while it was pretty late, we were about to close, and this lady comes up with a copy of Hush, remember Hush was like Gwyneth Paltrow and Jessica Lang, I think. Oh, absolutely not. Nobody remembers what you're talking about, unfortunately. Jessica fucking Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't remember what you're talking about,

Justin. She comes up to me and she says, um, excuse me, do you know if this film has a supernatural ending? It is stuck with me. This might have been 15 years. It's stuck with me exactly. Like, do you think this film has a supernatural ending? And I did not, she did not indicate whether or that would be a pro or con. I have to assume con, but like, I don't, I don't know why, why this is a factor on whether or not she was going to enjoy the film. But she did not want it to include, I think, a supernatural twist. So I could see how like, I want to know, I would, I can't see wanting to know like, am I going to be mad because of the supernatural twist at the end of Hush? Can you tell me the story? Just like, how is it going to make me feel? How does this art going

to make me feel that I would enjoy it? But I don't want to know like, what actually happens in the thing. I would actually, that is like, that woman is on some shit, Justin, because I would actually like to know if things are going to get supernatural in any of the things that I'm watching. So that I, I'm kind of like, that's like one thing I do actually get, like wanting to, wanting to fucking expect. Like I just finished Twin Peaks and I wish somebody had told me in season one, like, Yo Dog in season two, basically like the, it's going to be all about like the devil and some stuff. That's like, oh, really? Oh, that's okay. Yeah, dude, there's like magic owls and magic owls. Yeah, dude, it's going to be, well, not very good, but that's the, that's the service I'd rather have

is like somebody who warns me, Hey, this is going to get bad here in a bit. Oh, well, you should, you should tweet about it. Oh, I see. Three seconds. That's been my, oh, well, if you like that, sorry about, sorry in advance about the next part of it that you won't like as much. Oh, okay. Well, thank you for that. Thank you. I'm trying to think of a movie that would fit this woman's criteria, where the first like 90% of the movie is just the most like, yep, totally normal people out in the world. And like, if, if at the end of the departed, it was revealed that Leonardo DiCaprio's character was a vampire, like it was just like the whole movie, never addressed, never handed that boom vampire, you know, like that. I'm trying to think of a movie that fits that for me. Maybe Oceans 11

were at the end. They're all zombies. They were all zombies the whole time. I mean, that's not quite Oceans 11, but that fucking Now You See Me movie that I feel like we have to have talked about before, because it's the most bonk. And one of these days, I'm going to watch Now You See Me 2, just so I have more things to talk about on this podcast, because that is a movie where it's like, we're just doing tricks. Can you figure out the tricks? And the end is like, Oh, it's actual wizard magic, sexual sorcerers, wizard magic. Oh man, I've got a magic hat that lets me cast spells. Really? Yeah, I'm Woody Harrelson and I've got wizard spells. Does that happen in that film? It's like, how did they, they used an intricate series of mirrors

in order to simulate the bank while they were in the real bank. And then the last one's just like, no, they use wizard magic to teleport. Ah, they use so wizard, real wizard magic to teleport. This is me doing it. This is a service I'm now providing for Now You See Me. I'm sure Now You See Me 2, they get even more buck wild with this stuff, like just fucking Woody Harrelson catches a man on fire with his fucking laser vision or something. You cannot put that genie back in the bottle. Like once there is a little bit of wizard magic. There's an actual part where they try to put a wizard genie back in a magic bottle, Justin. And it's like, what's it, what? Don't make a card, any card. I stole your bank. That's the first movie. And the second one's probably

just like, I'm literally flying with sorcerer wizardry. Griffin, I don't, I, okay. I only saw Now You See Me whilst on a plane. So it's quite possible that I saw an edited version. I do not remember wizard magic being introduced at the end of the movie. At the end of that movie. Mark, I'm seriously going to fucking spoil Now You See Me. Fuck you if you don't like it. This is the podcast. Now you saw it is what I'm going to call it. That movie, now you saw it. Griffin's film ruiners. In that movie, Mark Ruffalo plays a detective that's investigating the whole time. And at the very end of the movie, it's revealed he was in on some of the crimes and also as a member of a community of actual wizards who do real magic on earth to help. People do crimes,

I guess, wizards, real ones in there, in the movie. It really is Ocean's Eleven and at the end, it's like, how did you do it, George? And George is like, wizardry from my magic hat. Cool movie, great movie. Anyway, I got to see that picture. We got to see it, dude. I watched Now You See Me, Burt Wunderstone and The Prestige in one plane trip, just because I was feeling very thematic. And I watched them in that order. And it's one of the strangest experiences of my life. Burt Wunderstone, by the way, don't don't don't don't Travis, you can't take it back. Okay. You can't take back if you say it. Oh, another close one. It was a very good place. But if you say it's on the podcast forever, it's like on the feed forever.

But if you say it'll end up on a wiki article about us, and my name will be on it too. But for a plane movie, for a movie to watch on a plane. If you do, what I'm saying is if you do it, people can't tell our voices apart, so they might think I said it. It was a good movie. I will say that the after I saw the previews for the incredible Burt Wunderstone starring Steve Carell. Yes, and that movie was so specifically targeted at Travis, they should have begun every line of the fucking trailer narration with Travis, comma, just like directing it. Travis, this fall, Steve Carell is going to be a fucking magician

in a comedy. Just after every joke, they would turn and just like look at the screen and wait for Travis's laugh. Listen, I'm not saying it was a good movie. I'm saying it was a good plane movie. I enjoyed watching it on an aerial plane, where my emotions were heightened because the extra oxygen pumped into the cabin, and I had other people around me like they were watching, God knows what, like maybe the, what else would have been on a Twilight or some shit. And I said, you know what, I'm on this plane. This is my life now. I'm on this plane. I think I was flying to Scotland for my honeymoon, and what better way to start your honeymoon than to watch the Burt Wunderstone. I liked it. It was a tour to Steve because it had Steve Buscemi

and Steve Carell. Yeah, lots of Steve's. So many Steve's. Can I say one last thing before we go to the Money Zone about watching movies on planes? If I had my druthers, I would listen to Travis talk about the incredible Burt Wunderstone. This is, this is my ASMR is here. Jim Carell plays like a Chris Angel-esque character that I think he does very well. Guys, this is an important act. This is an important act of archiving because Travis is statistically speaking the only person who's ever seen the incredible Burt Wunderstone. So it feels like that, but like this is the only way that, I mean, this is just not going to be like the AFI is not going to skip this one up and put it in a vault. No, like they're going to have to. That's good. This is

going to go to the Library of Congress, along with Travis's fucking complete recollection of the series Entourage. Speaking of spoilers, Alan Arkin, Alan Arkin in that film plays an elderly magician who inspired Burt to become a magician. Excellent. And it says in the Wikipedia page, Holloway was originally scripted to die, but the studio felt that audiences would have too much of a connection to the character and so he remained alive. Wish they did that in some of my other motion pictures. That's book wild on a couple levels. One, you thought that maybe this one character and the incredible Burt Wunderstone would engender quite a connection to the audience. That's one. Two, that's a pretty buck wild way of thinking about drama. Yeah. You know, like

that's a pretty, that's a pretty insane way of thinking about like how emotional resonance is created with it. I don't know. I don't know. People like it. I don't think people will like it if Macaulay Culkin dies in my girl. I think it'll make them sad. So he just gets stung by bees, but then he's okay. I do like the reverse logic of that statement, which is that anytime a character dies in a movie, it's because everyone thought the audience wouldn't like them. Yeah, they were disposed. Yeah. Otherwise, we would have saved them so much stuff, not to reference the departed again, but everybody in that movie is just so dislikable. Right? Yeah. This, this Culkin kid, folks are sick of him. Let's ice this fool. Ice is the little idiot. No, I gotta hear what Griffin

was gonna say about movies on planes. Oh, right. My new jam is watching people watch movies on planes, especially if it is a movie that contains a sexual intercourse or nudity, just to see how they react to that popping up on their public screen. Like if, if I know that it's about to pop up, I was watching a woman watch up in the air and I saw George and Vera Farmiga just flirting and I was like, I think these two, I think these two kids are about to bone down. And so I watched this middle-aged woman watching this movie just because I thought like, I think, I think there's about to be like a butt, just like a butt right there. And it's just like, blah, here's a butt. And then sure enough, there was a big butt, like full screen butt. And this

woman reacted as though like somebody had just like shot her with a rubber band or something. And she like flexed and like shut her computer screen as fast as possible, which is a really bold move because then you're going to open up your screen the next time you get your computer out. And there's still going to be a butt there. I like watching shows like Game of Thrones on planes because it adds this extra level of difficulty. I have to be like, it's kind of like trying to sneakily watch VH1 body and soul when I was 10 years old in my bedroom, like hoping my parents don't come in. I like that the added layer of like having to constantly worry about things, taking a sexy turn on Game of Thrones. And Game of Thrones won't always warn you.

Sometimes it's just a hard cut in nudity. You gotta be careful. Here's what they don't tell you. Anything you watch in a plane, it's like international waters. It doesn't count. So what I like to do is when that happens, I like to just like take my headphones off and yell like, look at this butt. Yeah, cool butt. They can't, it doesn't register. It doesn't go on my, you know, my permanent record of like times people caught me looking at butts. It's because it's international air. It doesn't count. That long scroll. Yeah. When I get to heaven it let's check. Yeah. Let's go through all the, oh, there's just a plane spot here for five hours. And I'm like, hey, yeah, you can't see inside planes. Travis's list is so long that they

actually have a second guy. After you see St. Peter, he weighs all the good and bad he did in your life. And then you walk over next door to the next podium and it's just Dr. Butt cheek. And he's got crazy glasses. He's got one of those beer helmets and he just goes to people looking at butts. See, this is just another example of how I am the Dan McCoy of my brother, my brother. Sure. Looking at butts. There's a, I'm just not thinking about it. Up in the air is a pretty whack movie to watch on an airplane. Because if somebody watched, saw me watching up in the air on an airplane, I would think I would be worried that they thought I was watching the movie for hot airplane tips. Should we go to the Money Zone? We've been doing this forever.

I want to watch Saul on an airplane. Okay. And then just every few minutes, just be like, nice. Oh, nice. Good trap. Got him. Do you see this trap? This guy thinks of the most wild traps. Hey, listen, I know I've already asked you this 16 times in this flight, but what would you do if you were, if there's like, what would you do in this one? In this trap? They made your butt. It's about to say eat your butt also. I was literally about to say eat your butt, Justin. Would you eat your butt so you could get out of the trap? Seriously. I know you haven't answered me before, but like, what would you do? Picture, picture this. There's a bear trap on your butt, right? And the only way it goes, you got to shoot your own butt off. Would you do it?

In this, in this trap, they make it. Why are you crying? In this trap, they make him eat his dad right there. It's crazy. Did you ask the pilot when you, you said you were going to ask the pilot if he would eat his own butt to get out of a trap. I just want to know what he thinks. He kind of started to gulf weight out there for a second, Justin. Hey, would you ask the pilot? He asked the pilot if he'd eat his own butt. I think I'd eat my own butt. I'd eat my butt. I'd fucking love to get Bobcat gulfed. Can we go to the money zone? I'm in hell. I need money. I need that money. Is Bobcat gulf weight there? Yes, he's there. Oh, he's there. Hey, Justin, it's me. I'm Bobcat gulf weight. I'm right over here in the money zone.

I know there's a family mirror of Bobcat gulf weight listed to our show. We got the connection. We can make this happen. Is it Jaguar gulf weight? That wasn't a good, no trap. No, no, no. He got me. No, but I wasn't, I wasn't ready for it, Griffin. You know how to cut to the core. I got to confess, actually, I did steal that joke. From Burt Wunderstone, so I just wanted to get out here and- Hey, can I tell you guys about Dip Recruiter? I wish you would. I tell you, we talked about American Butler's last episode, got a lot of emails about American Butler's. Oh, did we? And yeah, and people telling us about how they are an American Butler,

or how they once knew someone with an American Butler. And it got me thinking, maybe I'd like to hire an American Butler, but like, where do you even go? How would you even, how, where would you even begin to let the world know that you're ready to hire an American Butler? Well, if you're looking for like top quality candidates, you can maybe post it on ziprecruiter.com. You can post your job to 200 plus job sites through ziprecruiter.com, and it includes social media networks like Facebook and Twitter, all with a single click. So you would make like you're, I'm looking for an American Butler. A real, a real Belvedere type, round and soft. In all the right places, and it would push out, and it would, it would, you would get all the best candidates. And right now,

listeners can post it on ziprecruiter for free by going to ziprecruiter.com slash my brother, that's ziprecruiter.com slash my brother. And you can try it free ziprecruiter.com slash my brother, hire yourself someone today. It doesn't have to be an American Butler, but like that's just an example of how you could use it. Now say you wanted to create a website to sort of host your American Butler sort of fanzine on, I would recommend the platform that you use. That would be Squarespace. Squarespace rules Travis, you used it to make McElroy shows.com. And it's, it's, it's really easy to use, and you can make really beautiful looking websites. They have award-winning templates, which are the most beautiful way to present your ideas online. They have award-winning

24 seven customer support, a lot of award-winning features. I'm learning. Can I tell you my favorite thing about it? All the awards. It's one, all the awards. It's one. So I have in the past hired people to build websites for me, which is great. I love, you know, hiring people to do the work that they're trained to do that they know how to do. If you have like a super complicated job or something like that, totally, totally recommend it. But with something like this with McElroy shows, what I love about using Squarespace is we ended up with like a really good looking website that I can make changes to as I need to that I have like complete access to and control over. And especially like once I've done it once, like I know how to do it over and over again.

So like we're able to constantly update the site, add new shows to it, add new contact info, all that stuff. And it's so straightforward and easy to use, takes me about five to 10 minutes, you know, to add a change to it. And then that new information is out there without having to like, you know, hire somebody else to do it or it's a good looking site. Hey, thanks. And so like the, the straightforward ease of use of it, I'm a big fan. So for a free trial and 10% off your first purchase, you can go to squarespace.com slash my brother and just go check it out. You're gonna like it. You're gonna love it. Hi, Justin. Hey, I wanted to read a personal message. Okay. It's for Charlotte and it's from Brian and it says, have a happy birthday tomorrow.

Fuck, this is a cold shot. Oh my God, yes. Woof. All right. The message is from, I'm not going to tell you when it is supposed to run though, because it's like the twist. Oh, no, actually do tell me because I don't want to wait for the twist ending. This is actually slated to run on the 13th of February, which does actually for our show classify as a supernatural ending. Hey, have a happy birthday tomorrow. I think you're awesome. More importantly, I, the McElroy reading this, think Charlotte is awesome. She gets her friends to listen to Taz and Mbem Bam starting them down an awesome path of podcasting mirth. Thanks for that from both of us. Happy birthday and holy shit. This is amazing. I don't know that we've ever,

like we've gotten pretty close sometimes. I don't think we've ever like gotten it on the fucking day. And that must mean that my dude Brian here was like up at like 12 midnight Jumbotron availability day, which I think was Black Friday, just like ready for those fucking hot Jumbotron deals. Brian was waiting in line like you might see someone at Best Buy on the Monday before Thanksgiving. That was Brian, but on his computer. I have a message here for Riley and it's from Emma, Sophie, Sophia, Marin and Kat who say, happy birthday Riley. Thank you for making sure we survived the fall musical, baking us random treats, informing us on the latest Disney news and repeatedly running Kat over with your car. Oh, Jesus.

We love you and can't wait to roast you at your funeral. This message takes some fucking turns. This message has some turns. There was a supernatural twist. I know. Well, not, yeah, I guess kind of like you kill the cat. If it's like banks the cat because if it's repeated times. Oh, or the cat from Hocus Pocus. It's the same cat that we've just said, Griffin. That's the same cat I have. I've not familiar with the Hocus Pocus movie, I suppose. Binks, you say. Factory Binks, I believe is his full name. Interesting. Interesting. I'll take note of that. I'll take note of that. I'll take different actor than the actor that plays a human child. Strange, right? You think it would be the same human child, but no, Binks takes a different path.

Walks a different path. I think it's Jason Marston that does the voice of Factory Binks. Terrific. Terrific. Hey, I've got to get it. They dubbed him over the human in the game that is not Jason Marston. Weird that they did. Jason Marston, also the voice of Max Goofy in a Goofy movie. Wow, you're really taking us behind the scenes, huh? I mean, I just know a lot about Disney movies. I'm a big fan. So does Riley, it sounds like. Yeah. Okay. And we bring it back around. Are you sad and confused about world politics? Worried about the upcoming inevitable nuclear war? Or maybe a rat is living in your house. There's a rat living in my house. How do you get rid of a rat from a house? Why not immerse yourself in a completely fictional

imagined podcast for the Beef and Dairy Industries? It works for me. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is the number one podcast for those involved or just interested in the production of beef animals and dairy herds. Don't worry, it's funnier than it sounds. Find us at beefanddairynetwork.com or maxmoonfun.org or wherever you get your podcast from. Oh, God, there's the rat. Oh, God. Here's a here's a Yahoo that I have for you boys. You want to hear it? Yeah, I'm ready. Tiffany Larson sent this one. Thank you, Tiffany. It's Yahoo Answers user Anna T. Another 0% Best Answers. They've had an account for six years. I still haven't gotten it quite right. They ask, I walked on the beach today. Seagull like bird flew by and hit me on my right

cheek, then flew away. Lots of people saw that. What's meaning? And then update, walked on the beach today. Seagull like bird flew by and hit me on my right cheek, then flew away. Many people saw that. What could it be? Wait, what? So they say if a bird poops on you, it's a good luck, but I've never gotten pooped on and been righteous. It's always a bad thing to have poop right there on you. What is the significance if you're just walking on the beach? By the way, I don't know how much humor we're going to be able to squeeze out of this one, except for the mental image of you walking on the beach with your friends, just having a good day, and you've got the banana boat on you, baby, and you smelling so good, and the oceans looking good,

and it's a crystal clear sky, and you're just having good times with your friends, and you've got the music to end, and then a bird flies into your fucking grill. A bird flies into your face and flies off. What's the meaning of this? Griffin, you pictured a bird flying into this person's face. I pictured a seagull like bird with just like a whole bunch of rude toad, flying by and just slapping them with their wings. Slapping them on the face. Another possibility. What is the meaning of this? Maybe you gotta fly in your face. It's not probably yet. And the bird was trying to help. If it's good luck to have poop on you from a bird, what if the bird flies into you and attacks your head area? Maybe you have some food on your face. The bird was just so excited

about your leftover funnel cake hanging on the corner of your mouth there that he didn't stop to consider the consequences of falling into your face in front of all your friends. It's possible. Yahoo Answers user James says, this happened to me when I wore a hat made from chips. My penis was not visible. Thank you, James for this. What? What? Anonymous user says, your head is so large that the bird couldn't miss it when he tried to fly past you. So, a very nice burn there from this user to another stranger on the internet. Okay. I bet this happens to Sully all the time. Oh, you think? I bet Sully cannot walk on a beach without just getting shadracked by a flotilla. A big, big bunch of birds. Of angry birds seeking

retribution. Think of the stories they must have. He killed our brethren with a giant machine that is an aberration to our kind meant to give humans our power. Yeah, it's a skygiver. It is a cruel mockery of the metal god bird. Of the metal god bird. He kill, he uses that machine to kill our kind and then like. Doesn't die. Doesn't die and that's heroic to them. And you know, I also keep in mind it's very impressive because these angry birds, they had to get the angle right and they had to make it past like rocks and mountains and stuff to hit him in the face like that. And you know, maybe you didn't get it on the first try and maybe there was like a, one of the birds had to boomerang back or there was like an exploding bird or something, you know? I'm just

saying that maybe we could do like whatever that Solly Sollenberg movie was mixed with the angry birds movie crossover. That's fun. Travis, if you think that they're going to play my theme music and I'm going to run into the ring to save you with a folding chair on this fucking angry birds bit, you have not been following my character arc. You introduced it, Justin. You brought up the phrase angry birds and I was trying to stem the flood of years. Yeah, Justin, you said the Manchurian candidate style passphrase that sent Travis into another, his like fourth completely wild rant of the episode. Boys, we've been doing this show for 342 episodes now. I have gotten very good at recognizing what's going to be the thing that was casually mentioned that then we get a hundred

tweets about like, well, I can't believe you guys didn't make an angry bird's joke after just said the phrase angry bird. I know what those are now. And I'm trying, I'm, I'm doing this as a service. Yeah, I think I didn't think that angry birds thing was funny. I, I know. Listen, I'm looking at my writing team like they're shrugging. We know it wasn't funny. Yeah, doing this for the listeners, Griffin, for the listeners. Are we going to even try to figure out the significance of if a bird flies into your fucking face while you're having a fun day with your kids at the beach? Is it good luck, bad luck? When Randy Johnson threw the ball that made the bird explode and brought joy to America forever, what was the significant,

is that extremely bad? Like if a bird poops on you, the bird has exerted dominance over you and thus as a reward for that shame, you get good luck. If you throw a 104 mile two seam fastball that makes a bird die forever, you knock it so, you fucking blast that shit so hard, you knock it out of the karmic life cycle and it's dead forever because you blew it up with your awesome fastball. That's probably pretty bad luck, right? Well, that's the thing. I'll answer the first, uh, second one first and that is that they actually checked the rules and he hit that bird and automatically lost that game. Oh, interesting. That was a loss. It was an old archaic rule. It was kind of that like, you know, it doesn't say dogs can't play basketball kind of

moment where it's like, well, he hit the birds, the game's over. I think if a bird flies into your face, it is luck neutral in that I think it resets your luck to zero. Like whatever your luck was at prior to that, maybe you were having a lot of good luck or you're having a lot of bad luck, if a bird runs into your face, it starts you back at like zero. Hey Travis, you've just given me an idea for a film and it's kind of like a kind of like a spiritual sequel to Angels in the Outfield and it's about a bunch of birds that want to help the, is there the Cardinals, right? That's a bird baseball team. They want to help the Cardinals win the World Series and so what they do is they get together like hundreds of them, right? And then they all just fly to be exploded by Aaron Pigeons

so that the St. Louis Cardinals keep winning their way until they get the pinnit and it's, I think it's called Pigeons in the Strike Zone. Yeah, now the scene where they have to draw the short straw takes about 35 minutes because their beaks are not designed. They keep eating the straws because they love it. They love the straw so they eat it and they can't tell, right? And when they get to the playhouse, there's no pigeons left. Cardinals have to do it on their own. All the pigeons are dead. Fuckin'. If the incredible Burt Wunderstone had been 90 minutes of Randy Johnson annihilating that bird over and over again, it would have had more thematic or it like would have had more artistic value than I bet the actual film did. It might be fine. Hey,

I have a question for you guys. Yeah. Birds versus humans. Yeah. The war has all this time in Memorial, right? Yeah. Who's winning right now? So because I was trying to do Italian in my head. Yeah. Like, Sully, that's a draw, right? That one's a draw. Bird versus Fabio on Roller Coast. See, at Bird versus Fabio, it's where my mind went immediately. And I think that tells you why the humans are going to take this thing because they got together. There's their big strategy meeting and they're like, we help the Cardinals win the pennant and like got no thanks for how many good, good bird lives we sacrificed in doing so. So I think we need to take them down a peg. What should we do? And they're like, and there's one mean pigeon, one very angry bird,

who's like, oh, God, sorry, who's like, what if we take down their most beautiful person? That would teach them a lot. And so they think like by taking out Fabio, they're going to deal some sort of big, you know, emotional blow to us or something. It's a symbolic little. He is a fake butterman joke to me. Do you think that birds see humans paddling around lakes and swanboats and they're just like fucking disgusted by that? That it's just like so taunting and it's just like, we climb inside you and paddle around our legs in you. It's just, it must be such an insult. Yeah. So that's it. That's definitely a symbolic victory for us. That cancels out with Fabio. So that's equal. Us eating them. That's a big one.

We're good at that. We're good at that. But they did swine flu. No, no, no, bird flu. They didn't bird flu. Not even swine flu, really. They did bird flu. So that was like, I think those two cancel out. Shitting on us, we don't really have. We don't really reciprocate that one. If any animal shits on you, you're mad. That sucks. How could you? If a bird shits on you, there's a part where you're like, that must have been really hard and I can't do anything about it. Nice. Like you got me. You got me. You got me good. I would also like to point out that we as humans, fling bread and bird seed to them. We set up bird. We are giving them ammunition with

which to shit on us. Like we are helping them refill their tank to shit on us later. Anonymous Yahoo users says, Alfred Hitchcock, the bird. Sounds like it's the start of a problem. One of my favorite old movies though. I haven't seen the birds, but I imagine that movie is like four minutes long and it's like some birds start acting a fool and it's like, oh no. Well, no, actually, we're okay. It's just birds. A bunch of birds are flying over here. Oh, I mean, that'll be inconvenient, I suppose, but it is birds. Oh, they're going to nip at us with their little beaks. Well, I'll fucking punch them if they do. Like I'll use my human body and like, I guess nets, like nets, they don't, they really can't do shit about nets or guns or like, there's

probably some sort of poison aerosol spray I can just blast these birds with and they are just, here they come. It's birds, right? Yeah, it's birds, but there's like a hundred of them. I think I'm still good. Don't you think there was one moment during the production of the film where someone went up to Alfred Hitchcock and they were like, Alfred, people's houses are made of bricks and stuff and concrete. And he was like, how dare you? They're not here in this sleepy New England town. They all live in gingerbread houses. They live in gingerbread. They're made of fucking captains away from crackers and the birds just go hog wild. I'm sorry. Okay. Welcome to another episode of Now You Saw It. I'm going to give away the supernatural twist because it

sounds like neither one of you have seen the birds. In the end, it's just an army of ostriches show up and they're like, oh fuck. And then it's just, it's over at that point if we just weren't ready for it. And Bruce Campbell cocks his shotgun and he's like, it's on turkeys and then it's like sequel. Who steps up behind him is fucking Randy Johnson. He's like, let's do this, Ash. Together. My, my long lost brother that we just found out about a little bit ago. Let's do it. Could God make a bird so big that Randy Johnson couldn't explode it with an awesome two scene fastball? No. Next question. You love to see Randy Johnson fucking come on an ostrich and then the ostrich is like, what the fuck? Randy? Randy? I thought we were cool.

You rode me to get here. That's good. All birds have to give Randy Johnson a ride wherever he wants. Well, they're roommates in my mind. That little prince. That night after the game, he got like some sort of weird membership card made out of like woven like reeds. Hey, honey, what's this corn and then eat my pillow? Honey, what's this gold medallion? Did you leave this golden corn? I thought that you, it was weird about that pitch at the game yesterday. Anyway, I found this pendant that when I wear it, I can understand the thoughts of birds. What's that all about? Apparently birds are a one in one out kind of scenario because I killed one. I have to take on his life dance. Baby, this is, look at my, baby, look at my arm. It looks

like something's crawling out of, oh my God, baby, baby, baby, something's happening. He transforms into a bird. That was, I don't know if I could really create the scene just, this is an audio medium and he has a Santa Claus like bird transformation. Yes. Okay. Now we're on to something. Folks, that's going to do it for us this week. Thank you so much for joining us on our show. Just a few things to talk about real quick. We do want to remind you February 15th, that's this Wednesday night. We are going to be streaming an episode of our program. It's our, our premier event. We'll be in New York, but you'll be able to watch from anywhere in the globe. If you head on over to facebook.com slash, you got a pen to get your pen, facebook.com

slash CISO TV. You'll be able to watch that. And then a Q and A with us hosted by our buddy Elliot Kalin from the Flop House and Daily Show and MSD3K and so many other projects. So we are going to be doing that at 7 30 PM EST. So wherever you are in the world, I hope you'll join us for that. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm really excited about it. Yeah. I'm also extremely nervous about it. Please, please, please like it. I don't know what to say. Please like it. Please. Please like this show. Please. Please like this thing we made for you. We also want to say the Portland show. We need some questions for that. So if you're going to be at the Portland show in March, send us your questions with, you know, the subject line Portland live show.

So we know that that's what they are for. We mentioned during the money zone, macroyshows.com. We've got all of our projects listed there, contact info, email addresses for all the shows, all our Twitter accounts, all the Facebook groups, the PO Box addresses, everything's there. Macroyshows.com. If you need any of that kind of information, it's all right there. Also want to announce, so we kind of teased it before we're doing another live show in May. Oh yeah. In Austin. What's up? In Austin, Texas. Is that the Paramount? Is that the Paramount? It's going to be sick as fuck. And tickets for that are going to go on sale Friday the 24th. We'll put out more information and the links and everything and the time that it's going to be available.

But we wanted to make sure everybody knew about it ahead of time. So we'll get you all the details that they come out. But the tickets are going to go on sale Friday the 24th. And we're doing that show in May. It'll be that and Adventure Zone. We're doing both of them. Yeah, doing both. I think for a night. Over two days, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think that's the plan. I want to thank the Maximum Fun Network for having us as a part of their extended family. I want to recommend a another Max Fun Show and a specific episode. If you've never listened to Still Buffering, my wife and her two sisters, my wife and her two sisters compare teen life back in the day and these days. And on the newest episode called How to Internet Videos,

Riley, who is 16 years old, explains YouTube. And it is fucking like having a teenager explain YouTube to you is like the fucking Rosetta Stone. You will come out a different person. And there's also reminiscing about the early days of Internet Videos pre-YouTube. But it's great. You can find it on iTunes or at teengoogle.com is the website. I can't believe you gave that over, by the way. I am heartbroken. Oh, it's still under my control. A betrayal. And thanks to John Roderick and the Long Winters for the use of our theme song. It's a departure off the album, Putting the Days to Bed. It's really, really great. It's a theme song for the TV show, too. They were cool enough to let us use it for that. So you should show them some thanks and

some gratitude by picking up the album because it really is fucking excellent. So are all the Long Winters albums. One more thing, just real quick. In Terrapeng, the show that I do with Tybee, the podcast I do with Tybee where we talk about things that are frustrating us, we're doing a live show in Cincinnati on February 25th at 7 p.m. at the No Theater Underground. So if you're in Cincinnati or in the area and you want to come to that show, tickets are $12 at the door. $1 of every ticket sold is going to go to the ACLU. It's going to be a fun night just hanging out, talking about stuff that frustrates us. We'll take requests for topics and stuff from the audience so we can all kind of join in and talk about stuff that's frustrating

us. So join us here in Cincinnati, February 25th, No Theater Underground. I have a final one. You want it? Yes. Yahoo. I mean, it's from level 9000, Yadru, Dru, Dru, Devonport. Thank you, Dru. It's by Yadru Winters user. They're anonymous, but I'm going to say their name is Barney, and Barney asks. Barney asks, I need a lot of mercury, probably close to a gallon. How do I do this? One who's Justin McRoy, Travis McRoy. Amazon delivery. Here's that gallon of mercury that you ordered. I'm Griffin McRoy. This is my brother. My brother made two dad square the lips. Hey, the girls didn't want to say, hey, I want her.

Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. My name is Patrick. My name is Parker. Maximumfun.com has been a huge inspiration in my life. Now I have this network of friends that I've made and literally across the entire globe, and they're some of my favorite people in the world. I truly cannot believe the amount of wonderful and lasting friendships that have come out of this. If you feel like you might not fit in, as long as you're a good person, you'll fit in because everyone there is good and amazing and kind and wonderful, and you should absolutely go. It will be the best decision of your life. Make a ton of new friends like Parker and Patrick at MaxFunCon.

Tickets for MaxFunCon and MaxFunCon East are on sale now at maxfuncon.com.