My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 345: Face 2 Face: Candlenights in September

Episode Date: March 7, 2017

Okay, so, let's get conceptual for a bit. This episode, which we're releasing in Justin's absence, is our annual holiday live show, which we recorded in the decidedly non-holiday month of September, and are releasing in the absolutely non-holiday month of March. It was also the live show featured in the MBMBaM TV show! We hope you like it. Suggested talking points: All the Carols, The Worst Day of Griffin's Life, Gift Card Etiquette, Sexy Santa, Museum Regifting, Munch, Sad Libs, Dolls, My Big Ball, Christmas Nicknames, Justin's Goof-Up

Hi, folks, I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McRoy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McRoy. This is weird and I don't like this. It's weird, right? Yeah. It's like a flat tire. You can feel that something's just off and it's that Justin's not here.

He's on a boat, he's on a cruise. He said we weren't allowed to go. Yeah, that was weird. He said that only one of us could be at the ocean. He said it was something about maritime law. Yeah, well, it's kind of like that Kiefer Sutherland show designated survivor and that if there is, God forbid,

but if there is that movie with the Poseidon adventure sort of situation, you and I can carry the torch if there is a Poseidon adventure situation. Just quick sidetrack. I think it would be great if on designated survivor every season ender and then season starter was at the end of the season. It was like, good news, Kiefer.

We found a new president. You don't have to be president anymore. And then something happens that he has to be president again every year. Okay. And hopefully it goes like 12 seasons. Yeah, so like the secretary of agriculture like flies back from an extended trip in Dubai

and is like, what's up, motherfucker? I'm back. Bet you thought I was in the room when the big boom happened, but no, no, no. Anyway, give me that president badge. And he's like, oh, thank goodness. I didn't want to be president. Thank goodness, this is a lie.

But then he falls in a toilet and dies. Anyways, so anyway. So that's Travis and my spec script for designated survivor season two premiere. Very excited about it. So Justin's not here. So in lieu of his being, we are putting up the candle nights episode

from last year, which we recorded as part of the TV show. If you have watched our TV show, which you should, I think it's pretty fun. You'll recognize some of the stuff because it is what we filmed. It was our last day of filming. We were all extremely tired. I think it's fair to say very emotional.

And so yeah. Something to keep in mind. One, it's a live show. Two, we're recording it in the auditorium at City Hall. So it's not like we were, you know, it's not a state of the art recording. The audio's not good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The audio, it's listenable. And you can hear what we're saying, but that auditorium was invented. It was built before an amplified sound was invented. And so there's a bit of a trade-off. And I apologize for that, but I think it's a really fun episode. And I think you'll like it regardless.

Some other thing, I just edited the episode and Travis, unfortunately, I did cut the celebrity miracle bit because it is, that part was un-listenable because you couldn't hear it at all, which is about her. And that's also, that's for the TV show. That's fine.

I understand. Yes, Travis got a surprise celebrity guest. And it's on a TV show, but it, unfortunately, just like it's not listenable at all. And what else? I think that's all the sort of caveats. We're gonna start out with our dad, just hamming it up, what else is new?

But yeah, we realized this is weird that we are publishing one of our holiday specials that we recorded in a non-holiday September and publishing in a definitely non-holiday March. But that's just how we do things. I mean, it's the traditional candle lights in March. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So yeah, thanks for listening. Really? Enjoy the episode and we'll be back in a bit for the many times. So see you soon. See you. Christmas. Christmas.

Christmas. Christmas. Yeah, it's bad enough. It got the sheets thing. It got the shmaners thing. It got the saw bones thing. It got the buffering thing. Apparently no room for the adventure zone.

But that's okay. No, no, no. Thank you for acting like you know what that is. Hi. I'm Clint McElroy. I am some of the people up here that you have seen on this stage this evening are my fault so far.

So I take full credit there. But I serve a very important duty tonight for what? Are you laughing because I said duty? This is a prime Bim Bam crowd. No, seriously though. I'm here for a very important purpose. The producers and the director and the crew told me that if I shoehorned myself into this TV show

one more time I'd qualify for an Emmy. So here I am. No, but seriously, on a serious note, candle nights is important to all of us. And I think you'd probably agree with me if you weren't all hammered. But a very important component of every candle nights observation

is our candle nights carolers. Here's the problem. We've run a little over and they have to do a tree lighting in Guyandot in just a few minutes. So, and those three people came from Australia. I'll tell you the Guyandot joke later. That's why nobody laughed at it.

But they prepared all these songs. There's just not enough time. So they're going to do a very unique rendition of four different Christmas songs. Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy tonight and welcome our candlelight candle night. I knew I was going to do that. Carolers!

Check the halls with bells of holly, Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. Teeth and bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Draid, oh, draid, oh, draid, oh, Make your sound and play. Jingle the air and friddle the air With draid, oh, lush, oh, light. Draid, oh, draid, oh, draid, oh,

God, I make my sound and play. And when you're dry and ready, With draid, oh, lush, oh, light. Draid, oh, draid, oh, draid, oh, I made you out of play. Hey! And when you're dry and ready, With draid, oh, I shall play.

We'll take a cup of kindness yet For old Langzine. The McElroy Brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids,

which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? The McElroy Brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. We'll take a cup of kindness yet For old Langzine. And when you're dry and ready,

With draid, oh, light. Draid, oh, I shall play. With draid, oh, I shall play. For old Langzine. For Old Langzine. For Old Langzine. The McElroy Brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Austin McElroy, I'm your middle-is-brother Travis McElroy, and I'm your sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy. Like Chilean miners emerging from the middle-is-brother Travis McElroy. We have returned to you Huntington for this, the third annual observation of candle nights. It's come at kind of a wacky time. Kind of a zany period for candle nights to come. We are filming our holiday special in September, and the TV show is going to be up in quarter one 2017, so we really wanged it on both ends. It's rare that you kick a vehicle and bounce it off both sides. I think it's karma for all the misjumbotrons. Now we get it. Now we didn't know how it feels. So guys, we're shooting a TV show. This is the last thing

we have to shoot. It is so, I am so sorry to just a few people. Kevin James, number one. I've said a lot of wack stuff about Kevmo. Like this is so hard, Ramon Mano, obviously. Pauli Scho- no. The guy from Boston Common. Definitely. Do you guys have any funny behind the scenes stories, Griffin? Okay. Just ones like, let's narrow it because there's so many to choose from. Maybe something that might happen today. Just anyone. Hi. Okay. Hi everybody. Griffin literally asked us not to ask him about it. Today's been the worst day of my life. Because we had to shoot a bunch of stuff for the TV show. It was our last day of shooting. So stressful. Are we going to get it all? We had this live show. I was really stressed

before live shows. And then just a silly thing happened. I shouldn't. Okay. I can't make a joke out of it because it's mortifying and maybe one of the worst moments of my whole life. But, oh my God. Do you want me to say what you said to me? No, I'll do it. I have to frame it correctly because it's not a joke. It's not a funny thing that happened. I was going on a Starbucks run. Can't say Starbucks the coffee zone. Oh, by the way, we can't say brand names on our television show. It's illegal. It's illegal. So you'll periodically hear us replace those with a lesser known brand name. So what is it again? I was going to the coffee zone and so I was being very selfless, making just a sweet Java run, just getting four cups of

mud for my family and friends. And I hopped in the whip. And who's whip? I hopped in Justin's whip. And I bumped or maybe even nudged. It was kind of a kiss. This is the first time this is not a joke. I, I kissed with my car the car that belongs to the mayor of Huntington. And it's, and when Griffin says, just do want to reiterate, when Griffin says his car, he does in fact mean my car. And I wish it's very funny now. And it was very funny then. It's not, it is not funny. I am mortified beyond belief. I wish everyone could have been present for just the maniacal energy and face Griffin made as he came down the center aisle of the city hall auditorium to let us know that this had happened. I was looking for cameras,

like, come on. No, it was, it was a genuine, a genuine car to car smooch. And I feel awful about it. The mayor, Mayor Steve Williams, best mayor we've ever had in Huntington. And I wouldn't say that. I would, I would still say that even if I hadn't smooched his car today. The funniest thing in our television show. Absolutely. Uh, he's the mayor. He's the mayor. He's very, very, he's very funny and very kind of the best mayor we've ever had. I'm so sorry. Oh man. So vote Steve Williams. Yeah, please vote Mayor Steve Williams. Um, so what we do on this show, if you haven't listened before is, um, it could happen. No, who here has not listened before? Just give a woo. Okay. Yeah. See, that's

a significant amount of people. Uh, we take your questions and we turn them alchemy like into wisdom. Uh, we asked some folks that I guess are going to be here. Yeah, I think mostly here. Maybe you will. So we're here for, uh, for their questions. Some are about candle nights observations and some art. This one's coming in kind of hot. So a lot of them are. Yeah. For sure. Uh, and, uh, I'm just going to start, should I start with this first one here? Yeah, hit it. Great. I have worked in an office for several years now and we always exchange gifts during our holiday party. The gifts are usually your standard generic type like Starbucks gift cards or a knickknack for their desks. And I've always gotten the

same gifts for every employee. The trouble is within the past year, two of my friends I've known for 10 years have started working with me at the office. I'd like to get them more personalized gifts since they're my friends, more than my coworkers, but I fear that this may make the others in the office feel slightly jilted or left out. Should I just give them the same gift as everyone else to make things fair? Give them the gifts I really want to and hope the others don't notice or care. This rhymed. I don't know if that was intentional. Yeah, that's a fun little poem. Or should I just pony up the extra dough for both and give them the office gifts at the party and the friend gifts outside the office? That's

from quality versus quantity in the Queen's city. Love that alliteration. Are you here? Hey, what's up? We'll photoshop. We'll be like CGI. It's fine. We'll CGI. We'll CGI in the sound of you saying yes in here. What I love about that is that no one in that question is the option of get everybody nicer gifts. Oh yeah, that's not even up for debate. Well, what are they going to do? Buy 30 zoons? That might help zoom out. Yeah. Whoa. Hey guys, did you see this spike? Someone bought 30. They're crazy for zoons in Topeka. Zoon town, baby. Or you could hide this. You buy everybody a travel mug from the, from Java's own, but then your two friends, they unscrewed the lid. What's inside? It's a secret zoom. There's a

little zoom in my mug. I didn't know I put coffee in my room. Oh no. Oh no. This is what everybody in Topeka sounds like. Oh no. I have an idea. Oh boy. Here's what you do. Okay. Leading up to your, your holiday Christmas party, you start spreading around that you hate Todd and Susan. Oh, and you're not getting them anything this year because you hate them so much, but you let them know ahead of time that you actually love them a lot. Okay. And you'll be getting them a nicer gift, but outside of the party. That way it doesn't look like you're playing favorites. Looks like you hate Todd and Susan. I, I would like to pause it that there is no way you can give your two friends a gift later because when you tell them, I've got a really

special gift for you later, there's no chance that in their mind, they don't think you're not talking about having sex with them. Got a really special gift, but it's for later. For later? In private, just for you and me. It's a private present. That are like even worse, they'll expect something heartfelt. I, I made this like with your name on it, or I want to have sex with it. Like neither one or both, they're both pretty rough. Yeah. Oh gross. Not rough. Not very good job. Move on. Yeah. Do you guys want to, I'll hit him. Wait, hold on. Oh shit, no way. Don't get, don't get crazy for it yet. And I'm sorry. I swore that was the only one of the whole show I promise. What if you gave everybody in the office a $20 gift card to

Starbucks, but you gave Todd and Susan a $1,000 gift card to Starbucks. I love that. Um, that's just such a bad idea, Trav. But it clearly shows like I like you the best, but no one can tell from a distance. They open it up and they see the four digits and you're like, stay cool. Actually no, because like, I cannot imagine anything worse than like a, a Starbucks gift card. I didn't have to keep track of for the rest of my life. Yeah. A $1,000 Starbucks gift card is essentially like if you got to, like you learned to fly, you got the super human ability to fly and you're like, well, I better fly all the time. That's, that's us because for a while you're going to be big time Starbucks boy, like the best Starbucks boy. Everybody

goes, it's always on you. No problem. And then that well is going to dry up. It happened to MC Hammer. It'll happen to you. It happened to blank check. Happened to blank check maybe. Yeah. They gave him a blank Starbucks gift card and you're like, ha ha suckers. Do you guys, do you want a yahoo now though? Yes. This is a good one. It's sent in by Abby Likens. Thank you Abby. It's by Yahoo Answers user. Never too soon. Who asks Santa Claus with six pack abs. You may have heard the latest unbelievable movement by the leftists to not portray Santa Claus as overweight as it sends the wrong message to children. Is this another attempt to do away with every value and tradition in this country? If these idiots had their way, it would not be baseball,

apple pie and ice cream, but curling rice cakes and sorbet. That sounds awesome. That's amazing. That's amazing. Very good. Yes. Thank you. Is this country headed in the wrong direction because of these sexy leftist Santa Clauses? Straight up, curling, v baseball, baseball, length of game, 100 years. Curling unknown. Lost your time. There is nothing I like more than a cut Santa. I don't know how you all feel, but just a ripped progressive pro choice of sexy Santa Claus. Just picture him curling down the field, baby. Just, I'm with her and with him. I love, one thing I love is when he's coming out of the chimney sometimes and the bottom of his shirt gets stuck on the hook. Yeah. And then he's still sliding down and

you just see that like divot between his abs. Yeah. I like, I like the way that. And his dick. That's the last one occurs. That's the last one. Oh, I forgot. Yeah, you sure did, bud. My, my, my goof him up was just like quick in the moment. Yours was like a featured player for three weeks. I've had carte blanche. I can't put this genie back in the bottle. Yeah. It's not a bad word. It's beautiful human sexuality. If you think it's a bad word, maybe it's a problem with you. That's a very sexy Santa Claus position for you to take, Justin, very progressive, very progressive, progressive and sexy. What, I mean, what would it take to be like Norman Rockwell sees like a sexy Santa fireman calendar and is like, that's

him now. Norman Rockhard. Norman Rockhard sees a sexy Santa Claus. Where's that? Where's that miracle on 34th street? Let's get, let's get Channing Tatum in the mix at Santa Claus. Hello. I just almost got so hard fudge. That's good. Yeah. Christmas magic mic. Christmas, magic mic. Well, there's probably a better joke name for it. No, that's it. Okay. No, you're right. It's Christmas magic mic show. I like the well and that's all I came up with. No, and you are the well master. So that's, it's got to be it. For the last several years, my husband and I lived in Hawaii when visiting the mainland for wintertime festivities, we would pick up a bunch of coffee and macadamia nuts to give his presence to family and friends.

Everyone loved the gifts because they were quote fresh from Hawaii, although we did purchase them in large quantities from Walmart. We have since moved to Ohio. I work in a museum that happens to have a gift shop that features Ohio themed and locally made stuff. I also get a 25% discount this store. Is it weird to give my fellow mainlanders Ohio themed presents? Or am I good? That's from Cheapskate in Columbus. You have to be here if you live in Columbus, right? Yeah. Uh, first of all, how dare you? Because I guarantee you your family and friends that you gave those fake Hawaiian presents to, we have a night we'd be like, Margaret, sit down tonight. A little taste. A little taste of the islands. Aloha, Margaret.

It's time. Crack. I just feel like there's anything different about the coffee tonight, Margaret. Aloha. Oh, we're out of our regular, we're out of fold. Well, we're out of a ground town. Ground town is a good name for coffee. Yes. Right on. TMTM TMTM. TMTM. We're out of ground town. Oh, break into the, no. What? No. My Hawaiian coffee. It's not time for that. Eating these Hawaiian macadamia nuts. You can really taste the Pacific wind. I also do, do your friends and family know you work at an Ohio museum? Okay. That's the worst crime. You can't hand them an Ohio magnet and just stare at them like. The good news is I saw this in thought of you. The good news is if the gift shop at your museum is like

every museum gift shop in the world, your 25% discount means that everything is just 300% too expensive. So you're not real. It's not good scam you've cooked up here. I also like, like if it's the thought that counts, the thought that you're showing is I forgot to get you something until I got off work. Except you haven't. You sent us this question. You have time. It's September. September. How bad is your Amazon setup? I have a lot on my mind. I think over the next two months, probably maybe I guess. I think when you buy something as a gift from a museum gift shop, you are saying here is a small kind of crumbier version of a thing I saw in a museum today, which is to say the true gift is an art heist.

That's a gift that says I put some thought into this. And to prove my thought, here are the blueprints. Griffin, how about you start another yahoo? Okay. This one was sent in time. Sorry, no, no, no. Sorry, my mic had interference. I don't even know what that music was. I literally don't know what that setup was. It's just my mic had interference. Is your cell phone on because that can cause it. Oh, that's how it is. Click. Okay. I love the iPhone 7 by the way. Yeah, there's a small boy that lives in it. He's like, going to sleep now. Then you were turning on the cell phone. Yeah, Amelie lives in the iPhone 7. I'm sleepy. Good night, sir. Good, good calls today, I thought. You got so good. Your mom text, I'll keep it

quiet for now. But I'm going to sleep on this Instagram picture you left. You're trying to, you're trying to do a drunk sex and she's like, no, I don't think so. Respect yourself and your friend. Yeah, you'll thank me for this in the morning. All right, go ahead, Griffin, just start a yahoo. Here comes a real yahoo. Okay, here comes a real yahoo. I'm going to read it. It was sent in by Kayla Morgan. I want a Munch Squad. This is Munch Squad. It's a show within a show. For the eight people that's the first time listening, they're so confused. Yeah, that's good. By the way, that was so loud that I think somebody next door is going to call the cops on City Hall. I wasn't actually planning on doing a Munch Squad tonight, but there are

people who made Munch Squad t-shirts that you're here. Hold on, they couldn't make it. They didn't make it. Is everybody wearing a Munch Squad t-shirt? Munch Squad is where we talked it fast. Oh, throw them up here. Oh, thanks, man. Thank you. That's excellent. Thank you, thank you, thank you. They got a 2XL in the midst. Oh, I can't put it on, where are Mike? We're wearing Mike's, or else we'd put them on, I promise. Yes, we will wear them with pride. That's a great design. Yeah, it's super good. There's like 10 letters each cut from a different fast food logo, meaning it is the shirt we can have on television the least. The Munch Squad is a series where we go to the fast food, junk food, and fast casual professionals to ask them what

they're working on, and we take it direct from the horse's mouth. And I got a press release for that. I think you're really gonna enjoy it, especially right now. It probably has the four best opening words after like the Gaysburg Address, I guess. This election season, Doritos. If you're a cheer member of the Munch Squad, those are four words that are like, ah, you have my attention. Go, go on. This election season, Doritos, is in the comment. One of the marquee brands from Pepsi Coast Frito Lay Division. Yeah, you mean Doritos? Yeah, I know. It's partnering with Rock the Vote, the largest nonpartisan, non-profit organization in the country dedicated to building long-term youth political power to engage and mobilize young people to register to vote and

participate in elections. Again, Doritos. As part of the boldest choice campaign, the Doritos brand is introducing a limited edition Doritos bag created for those not registered to vote. Now, hold on. Because a Dorito Hunter like myself, who wants to collect them all, I hear that and I say, well, guess I'm sitting this one out. Because I've got to get this limited edition bag, Doritos. Yeah, imagine my surprise at finding out that there's an overlap between people who love Doritos and people who don't vote. If you actually go to the polling machine and you try, it's one of the touchscreen ones and you do it and you have cheese dust on your finger. It's just like, no. No. I would love so much to be a fly on the wall for the human being. It goes, I'm not voting this year. Tell me rumble, tell me rumble.

I wish there was a chip for me. You got me, Doritos. I'm in. It has no taste, no crunch, and no chips to illustrate that if you don't make a choice, you don't get a choice. Wait, wait, wait. Read the, sorry. No. No. No. What doesn't it have? No taste, no crunch, and no chips. It's just a blank bag. It's just an empty bag? No, it's just like one of the bags they'd get on lost. Here's a quote. Let's take it from the experts. Who cares what we think? This one comes to us from Jennifer Sands, Senior Vice President and Chief Marketing Officer for Frito Lay, who says, this election season, Doritos believes the boldest choice is making a choice. I mean, yes. I mean, it's certainly bolder than not making a choice. We have always believed every single person can make an impact. We all have a voice, and it's important

we exercise that voice and be heard. We make Doritos, I just want to say again, that's who I am. Our campaign reinforces the idea that if you don't make a choice, someone else chooses for you. As a brand known for being bold, Doritos is rallying one of the most important causes in America, making a choice at the polls. So yeah, that's the message from Doritos. This has been a lot of fun. This is an empty bag with nothing on it. 399, it's a bargain. How are they distributing this? Because they can't sell an empty plain bag at a store, and you go to Kroger and you're like, hey, Kroger employee, there's a printing error in the bag, and also a chipping error because there's no chips in it. And they're like, no, it's because you've got to vote. Oh, okay. That's weird. No, it's like the scene out of Hook, where as soon as you vote, the chips

appear within the bag. I knew there was a reason to vote for chips. It makes chips magically appear in this fake Doritos bag. I just want to say this, and I don't know how everybody in the room is going to vote. I have a pretty good idea, but I don't know how everybody. If this effort works, it's not great, right? It's not great. You know, they had a record turnout in America. Oh, why? Yeah. They elected Tootsies the driving cat from SNL. It says here, and our vice president triumphed the insult comic dog. It didn't go great. Thank you Doritos. Here comes a yahoo for real though. It's sent by Kayla Morgan. Thank you, Kayla. It's by yahoo answers user Kim, who asks, my dad broke his wrist and when asked about Christmas says, all I want is a new wrist. What should I get him? A new wrist. A new wrist. I mean, it's right there in the

ass. Do you know, as like an adult who has to get Christmas presents for so many people? Like, sorry, I guess. Yeah, you're so generous, Travis. If someone would look at me and say, here's exactly what I want for Christmas. A series of bone and muscle tissues. I would like a new joint, please. Even then, I'm like, okay, thank you for giving me a concrete goal. Yeah, sure. An unattainable one unless you're the bone collector. It's 2016. I have not seen the bone collector. I am assuming this is a film in which a person goes around just getting the bones folks craved. So like a really scary tooth fairy, you wake up in the morning, you're like, I think the more is like the guy you meet like in a bar at two in the afternoon. Yeah, you want a bone? I can get you a bone. No problem. I want to meet that guy. Is that one? Sidney, is Tibula a bone? No. Okay. Thanks, sweetie. I didn't finish the question. I don't think these details are going to be elucidate. They're not going to teach us anything. My dad, who likes to do everything around the house, was cleaning the gutters, fell down, shattered his wrist. To add insult to injury, it's shattered it. Like we can't get this guy a wrist part. We're talking full replacement.

Full rebuild. My dad was doing some dumb stuff on the roof, like Johnny Knoxville's wrist exploded. Wait, hold on. He was cleaning the gutters. How did that transition into him doing some dumb stuff on the roof? I just assumed he was also doing stunts. I spilled cheer on on myself. Oh boy, look at the fussy boy. TV. CGI that out, fellas and ladies. All the CGI team. To add insult to injury, my mom just left him a few weeks ago. Okay. Hold on. No, no, no, no, no. Hold on. Hey, you did not get this far. When you pre-prote this question with us backstage, you did not get this far. So it does change my answer as to what you should get him. Anything else Griffin? Hey, if you see the words late stage, just skip ahead, okay? A hole. Two things. Poe buddy's nerf it. Two. I think this opens up some exciting new gift giving opportunities. The first is Billboard dad.

Billboard dad. Billboard dad. Billboard dad was an Olson movie in which something happened to the mom and I'm right now out of my KD ratio on saying dumb things during this episode of the live show is pretty whack. So I'll just assume something horrible happened to her. And so the Olsons were like, Billboard dad. It was a really iconic scene in the movie. They turned to face each other and they just went Billboard dad. So they got up on a Billboard and then they found a new mom for him. We're going to do some monies on spots. I thought of another thing I should preface really quick in that Travis is about to do a Sad Libs here in a second and there was a big visual gag there that is definitely not going to come through where Justin and I were hiding behind him sort of in the background of the set holding up signs telling people to applaud and laugh wildly. You didn't have to tell them that. You could have just made them think that it was just people finally giving Sad Libs their due. No, that's a fate worse than death. No, we were holding up signs telling people to give like a standing ovation and Travis's shitty bit.

Although I think probably half of it was sincere. I'm not going to credit all of it to the signs. I'm saying that it was maybe the best one I've ever written. So like maybe that came through. You know what I mean? Yeah, Travis. Let's get that money because there's just two of us. Which means we get double double the money. That's how that mathematically works out. I want to tell you Griffin about what I am just now realizing is called movement watches. Oh, you dumb, dumb animal. Well, the name of it is MVMT watches. And I haven't put together that that's movement. I just thought it was MVMT. I have a movement watch. I do too.

It looks fucking great. It looks really good. It's like one of the few wearable items that I own that I have actually gotten compliments on. It's nice and big. You just look down at it and it's like, boom, there's a time. Booyah, what's up? It's 420. Nice, smoke them out. Here's the thing. The watch only says it's 420. So like as a timepiece that is unfortunately, it's right two times a day, right? You can, Griffin, you can fix that. That's not a point. I'm just kidding. It doesn't only say 420. It's important that during the advertisement, we don't say this watch is inherently broken. That's also true. Here's the thing. These watches, they're slick. Like these are good, you know, leather bands, metal bands. They are really good looking watches and they start at just $95, which I'm telling you, you wear a watch like this, people are going to assume it was like $500, $600.

I'm not just saying this because they're a sponsor. They're beautiful watches. Yeah, they're really good. They've sold over 1 million watches in 160 countries and you can get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmtwatches.com slash brother. Step up your watch game, get in there. Yeah, just go check them out. I think you're going to like how they look. mvmtwatches.com slash brother. I want to tell you about Betterment, which is an investment solution for, I don't know how many folks listening to this think like, boy, I'm so replete with cash and I want to make sure that I'm using it in the right way. But Betterment's going to help you do that with the same strategies that financial advisors use with clients who have millions of dollars.

And if you don't have millions of dollars, you could just sort of live like you do, which might be kind of fun. They use time-tested investing principles with the transparency and ease of use you expect from great technology. They have lower fees and taxes than a lot of their competitors. And they really care that you reach your financial goals and that's why they keep their fees low. Also, I'm just reading this now. Their CEO, John, has been named a 30 under 30. He's an alumni like me who are part of the club. John, hand me up.

Let's go to the next meeting together and we can really run the town. He was also named 40 under 40, which I didn't fucking realize was another thing that I have to strive for. Yeah, Travis. I can still get in there. Yeah, it's not now listen. And John will be the first one to tell you this. Not quite as prestigious as 30 under 30. Do you think that it's like a legacy thing that because one of us is in there, it'll be easier or do you think it'll be harder?

Because they're like, we've already got a macro. Generally, Travis, there are 10 more people that make the cut. So I say it's easier. Okay, fair enough. Now, here's the thing. We do want to tell you investing involves risks. There's no guarantee this isn't it's it's risky to do it. But they, you know, they have the invested principles.

They know the stuff. They know the stuff certainly better than we do as evidence to buy our stumbling through this advertisement. Exactly. This is a pretty wild bonus feature for a limited time. If you sign up for Betterment, you may qualify for a free canary home security system to help secure your home. Two things. First of all, love it. You got that money.

You're getting that money to work for you to make more money. Now you got to make sure that you have a panic room that you can put all the money inside. This is vital. You got to have a panic room. It's 2017. What are you doing if you don't have a panic room already? Second thing is a canary home security system, just a canary that they put in there. And then if it dies, you know, there's a carbon monoxide problem.

That's what I have to assume. So you can check it out at Betterment.com slash M-B-M-B-A-M. Betterment. Investing made better. I have a Jumbotron message here, and it is for a comic called Dinosaur Hunters. You can read Dinosaur Hunters at M... Well, let me... Oh, gosh.

I keep my computer so far away from me, and I try to, like, just fucking no scope it. But when it's a link like this, M-M-D-H comic.com. Go to that website or follow the creator at MattManDH on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. And this is the description for Dinosaur Hunters. In a world with real problems that are not dinosaurs that need to be fought with giant robots, five jerks whose job it is to fight dinosaurs using their giant robots finally have to do their job, which is fighting dinosaurs using their giant robots. The robots fight dinosaurs in a comic.

If you don't want that, I don't know what to tell you because this is about robots fighting dinosaurs. Bing bang boom. There it is. Straight to the point. No faking. I don't know about beating up dinosaurs. Like, maybe if they're, like, evil cartoon dinos, but, like...

These scaly guys are, like, debating with dinosaurs. Oh, I see. It's just these scaly guys don't have any problems with me, inherently. You don't know that? Yeah, that's probably true. So, again, mmdhcomic.com. Go check it out. I also have a message for future Emily from past Emily.

Hi, Emily. I'm guessing whenever you get this, you'll need to pick me up. Maybe it's your birthday. Maybe it's just February, which no one likes. And there's more practical ways to cheer yourself up. Nope. Did that bad? Oh, hi, Justin.

Welcome. Hi, Justin. Welcome back to the podcast. Are there more practical ways to cheer yourself up? Sure. Deal with it. Love past Emily. And we nailed it because it's around March 6th or whenever.

Yeah, we're wicked around March 6th right now. This is, I don't know that there is a more practical way to pick yourself up. Nope. This is it. We, it's scientifically tested and kid tested mother approved. Having us say your name out loud is the ultimate pick me up. And that sounds conceited to say, but we've, the guys are taking in front of many focus groups. And every time.

What's up? Check this out. Hey, Derek. And now if a Derek out there heard that, it's like, oh, go, spring my step. Um, so we're about to hop back into the episode. Should we go and do the, the wrap up stuff? Yeah. Thanks to, um, thank you to John Roderick in the long winters for the theme song instead

of part drop the album, putting the days to bed. Uh, thanks for maximum fun. Uh, thank, thank you for maximum fun. God. Um, thanks to Max fun for having us. You can go to maximum fun.org and check out all their great podcasts. Um, and, uh, I guarantee you're going to find a bunch that you like. Also, you can go to mackleroyshows.com and check out all the podcasts and videos that

we do, uh, like the adventure zone, saw bone, shmanners, rose buddies, uh, and videos like monster factory and stuff. Um, so anything else? Uh, yeah. Before we let you go, the max fun drive is coming up. Oh shit. And we're working hard on some of the best episodes of the year. Tune in during the drive to catch these extra awesome episodes and hear about the exclusive

thank you gifts we have in store for new and upgrading members. They are seriously amazing. Plus it's your chance to show your support for my brother, my brother, and me and all the other shows on maximum fun and help us reach our highest goal ever, 10,000 new and upgrading max fun members. Jesus. Yeah. I think we can do it.

Hey, where's my fucking hat? Max fun threw it over the fence. Uh, with a big number like that. The 2017 max fun drive kicks off on March 20th and runs for just two weeks. Visit maximum fun.org for details and don't miss it. I'm so, this is not a joke. Max fun drive is my favorite time of the year. It's always so exciting to see people supporting us and everybody working together to make

really amazing content, bonus episodes, prizes, amazing event. I'm, I love it. And I'm very excited for it this year. Uh, I can't wait coming up. Uh, I, uh, remind me after we finished recording this to tell you what our bonus episode for Rose buddies is going to be. I'm pretty psyched. Okay, cool.

Um, so that's it. We're going to get back to the episode now. Thank you all for listening. Thank you to everybody who helped us, who came to the show. First off, uh, it was a really, really fun night. Um, thank you to everybody who has watched the show. Um, it's, it's been a really, really great response. Uh, we were, we were really proud of what we made, but we were obviously very, very nervous.

I was, I should say, I don't, I can't speak for Travis and Justin, um, about what folks would think and everybody's been so great. And so thank you all very, very much. Um, friends in other countries, I, I'm, I'm sorry that it is not available to you right now. We are so low on the chain of people who can make that happen. But, um, I hope, I hope someday it'll, it'll make it out to you. And just to be clear, we have heard your concerns.

Absolutely. Yeah. I, I feel fucking miserable about it that like every time we tweet something about the show, like without fail, like the first five tweets I get are like, I live in the UK and it sucks. You know, I'm really, really, really, really sorry. It is very, very complicated to, to, to make that work. Like there's a lot more business, uh, like licensing shit that goes into that than God

knows that we are like making those decisions. We are not at all. So, uh, we are sorry. And, um, Yeah, just to be clear, this was not like me, Justin and Griffin didn't sit down and be like, we're not going to let other people see this. Right. Okay.

Cool. We want, we want everybody to see it. And I hope that it will get there. So, and thank you to everybody who helped make the show too. It was fucking great. Um, let's get back into it. Uh, I have a thing for the live shows, but it's special for live shows. Is it more good billboard dad jokes?

No, it might be the only thing. Oh no. Oh no. No, no, no, no. Wait, what? There's, okay. I just watched you flip through a multiple pages of this bad boy. Okay.

Four. Okay. Then that means about what, what's the ETA? Like how long can Justin and I leave the stage? Three minutes. Excellent. Great news. It's in big hand.

So I put out the call on Twitter for people to submit some questions they would like to hear are some words. And these are the words I got back. This is the story. Can't believe I don't have enough like tales. So I wrote a tale and this is called gift of the sad lib. Once there was a young moist couple named Shin Mew and Studebaker. They were very poor.

So poor in fact that they couldn't even afford a bootylicious salamander. Though they had little money, they were rich in love. Shin Mew would spend hours admiring Studebaker's curvy Baba Ganoush, while Studebaker loved Shin Mew for their perfunctory lumbar and Gregorian fluffernutter. As the seasons changed and candle lights grew near, Shin Mew decided that they would purchase Studebaker a pedantic candle lights gift no matter what. So Shin Mew sold their most precious possession, a frictionless pumpkin that Stanley Tucci had given them while filming the Devil Wears Prada in which Shin Mew played a very small

role. With that money, Shin Mew purchased a gooey, teeny weenie, gelatinous chumbawamba that would perfectly compliment Studebaker's most prized possession, a poopy didgeridoo shaped like a copy-barrow given to them by the Utah Jazz. Shin Mew raised home, hands throbbing with horns woggle, knowing how much Studebaker was going to defenestrate when they saw the chumbawamba. Studebaker, I've Googled you the most perfect chumbawamba to go with your didgeridoo. What?

Why? Because it's your favorite? No, I hate that thing. I only displayed it in case the Utah Jazz ever visited. Well, crap, I wish you'd said something. I sold my pumpkin to buy this. No, not the pumpkin Stanley Tucci gave you. Yes, of course the one Stanley Tucci gave me.

How many pumpkins do I have? Well, can you return the chumbawamba and buy back the pumpkin? I don't know, maybe. I'll try tomorrow. Okay, sorry about that. Oh, here, I got you a gift certificate to Bed Bath and Beyond. Oh, cool, I do need a new towel. The end.

Thank you. I did work very hard on that. Thank you very much. Thank you, thank you so much. I worked very hard on that. Thank you. Would you like me to read it again? No, no, no, that won't work.

Once there was a young moist cobble named Shenmue. Turn off all of the lights in the theater. Welcome back. Wow, that really sucked, Trav. Another bad one. Everybody loved it. Did they love it? Yeah.

They laughed and clapped a lot. Yeah, it seemed like they were really going crazy for it. They were really into it. Playing the hits. This is the bit densest episode of Bed Bath & Beyond that's ever existed. I'm going to do a jingle monthly observance. This is the... one that we are ever gonna put on TV so we're playing all the hits and this hit

is is the Haunted Doll Watch. Today's doll that is haunted is sorry start over cuz today's doll that is haunted okay is the title on the electronic bay auction auction zone auction zone haunted doll very active needs a home oh her name is Adeline hello and welcome my store I'm happy to offer one of many spirits up for sale I love I love it eBay profile that's like oh welcome stranger come on in get out of the rain a lot of the things on sale today stranger we have many curiosities for you to prove what are you buying stranger what are you selling what are you

selling what are you buying stranger Japanese zombie video game goose she's a spirit of a 20 year old little girl okay that doesn't hold on sorry what not a great start she resides is in a beautiful finished all that gives off so much beautiful energy and so much joy really selling it this is where we go off the rails Adelaide was given me by a man by a man by the name of Marcus Miller we're gonna talk about editing and decision later but it was given to her by Marcus Marcus Miller Marcus has been collecting spirit dolls for over 25 years and he came across this fascinating spirit five years ago

during a trip to Bulgaria hmm she was she was logged away in a glass case in an elder man's store I guess they mean elderly but I do like the idea of a store that caters to the elderly gentlemen she was a spectacle for the town to come and look at hello hey how's your town doing cuz it sounds pretty boring hey Todd I'm coming to visit this weekend what should I not miss oh well we got this store for very old people she's been locked away for over 20 years she was stuck and unable to see the world she died so sad she died in the early 40s this is a gift from her grandmother for her 12th birthday

Marcus offered the man $2,000 to get Adelaide out of the glass box the man like why does it have to be a short story your doll is haunted yeah like it should like it should just say this is a doll that's haunted by ghosts yeah really quick what is the eBay buy it now price on this doll well Griffin that's gonna be a three hundred dollars I just want to say that money that's a lot of first of all that's a lot of money but also Marcus a significant loss my friend it's Bulgaria dollars okay well then I know I don't know I do want to say that the elder man is also really bad at business if his haunted doll in a glass case

brings them in from miles around yeah and Marcus is like two thousand bucks he's like yeah so good I'm sorry I'm never gonna get that much again yeah I'm very short-sighted I'm just they it closes with a pretty great list so I'm just gonna hit you with these bullet points I want to ensure the person purchasing her understands how active she really is she will move her doll host around the house at night she will play with toys found in the home she can be heard laughing from time to time she can be heard knocking on walls and doors she must be spoken to with a spirit box or if you have the gift face to

face I do like that they sledge from will to can like she might not do these things but she'll definitely you will get wet she loves animals so be prepared to find your dog or cat always near her where's the dog well this is actually convenient I know exactly where the dog yet the doll only had the dog only hangs down with the haunted doll I bought for $300 I'm very sorry again Victoria I don't want to break it up and go through the whole thing but I'm sorry I bought a $300 haunted doll all the money from her sale will be going to help Marcus during his last few months with us Jesus please how's your twist how's the twist doing in

the story twist Justin means we don't read far enough ahead on any of the things we prepare for the live show there's some parts I might have skipped because I didn't do a good job of reading all of it sorry if you want to Google this you should probably have a cup of cocoa with you or something it's not all it's not all giggle giggle go far up here there's this story takes some hard to list that you want to be prepared for do you guys want to yeah is that it for haunted doll watch usually you say like you give it a button it's $300 and it's haunted so buy it now okay thank you how about a quick yahoo and

then maybe we get to audience question sure we're gonna do we're gonna take the audience questions you all know the rule for audience questions right right if that was if you didn't if you couldn't pick out the message from that Greek choir it's no bummers here's a yahoo though and it was sent by Brooks Oglesby thank you Brooks and I have to find it this please don't nobody look at me okay I got it's from yahoo answers user dot dot dot yo nice yo yo asks why does the New Year's ball keep getting smaller every year that blank so not not today friend not on this show every year that blank drops its number of crystal

lights by like 2000 are we that poor in 2004 it was massive and 2012's ball is tiny no more than the size of my right testicle I'm no doctor hey yo hey yo I know we just met yo how's your testicles cuz they they might be very very sick well like and just reading into the words like one of them might be the other one seems like okay where do you buy pants oh so I just don't know that I want to be friends with someone who looks at anything it's like that's about half the size of my testicle that's about twice the size of my testicle that's spot-on just right yahoo answers user gork bark pork duke gafunk and fubar

oh no you used up all the name that was the German name for beetle juice they had to say it three times and they'd show up and be like gork bark gork bark has some fun facts about the ball because he's a person on the internet of course he knows everything about the New Year's ball it's a geodesic sphere 12 feet in diameter and weighs 11,875 pounds just like this dudes oh right testicle oh no you're you you're you're walking a little funny today one of my testicles weighs 11,000 pounds it's made of dark matter it's covered in 2,688 waterford crystal triangles please help me which are bolted to 672 led modules on

the aluminum frame help me God I've been cursed by the Balmoyaga you know if Liberace were alive today is there anything good about having this well the ball is capable of creating a palette of more than 16 million vibrant colors and billions of patterns that sounds nice that part's good it's good yes I sure do love my beautiful crazy big ball but it keeps getting smaller every year I'm so worried do you want to do a mic yeah I think do we have a mic down there we we said yes but the the answer might we bring up the house here we go so thank you Michael Sullivan I want to I want to start first I want to start

actually real quick if you're the person that talked to me in the line outside about this specific segment could you come ahead down it's just one gentleman that asked me about this segment specifically hi there we go I'm Chris hi Chris hi from Texas hi I almost said hi Texas we drove all the way up here just for the show oh that's a lot of driving yeah yeah my girlfriend loves you guys biggest fan we listen all your shows well thank thank you for making the trip up what's your what's your question so my girlfriend said that in order for me to ask her to get married and for her to say yes I'd have to ask you on this show you

had to ask us okay I'm fine with it I'm sorry I'm so nervous you can hey is she here yes yes she's here good because if she wasn't this bit was about to get very strange you gotta come down come on down hey can we get like all the house lights lights like up just so we can see is there anyone back there anyone back there could just turn on the house light yeah hi how are you no you didn't hear any of that did you well you walked down so so far so good yeah this is Ellie hi Ellie hey help me I know it's our show but this is your moment all right Ellie get up on that mic though it's for them to it's Oliver I love you so much you make me

extremely happy will you marry me she said yes hey hey great job you guys who's gonna follow that all right go ahead thank you all for coming who else got a good question I would say yes person who can't contain their excitement yeah with the hat just touch the brim with their hat and it's making their way already out into the house and it's walking down the aisle well I hope you guys can help me okay well what's my name is Jack I am from Virginia hi hi since we're saying where we're from um so I drive for a living okay I'm a delivery driver and I have a big problem I'm really bad

at like saying hello to people and greeting people I thought you're gonna say I drive yeah it's a real crazy taxi situation so what I'll do is someone go hey how's it going and I'll say in the exact same tone of voice hey how's it going that's fine that that'll get you through that's how I get through most conversations I can tell you that's better than me where most of the time I will open my mouth or as long and no sound will come out I just like how you doing well that that's happened to or a little go dry safe and I'll go you too oh yes I instinctively say you too to just most things the good news is the

advantage that you're working under is when people see you it is the happiest they have been to see anyone all day every time guaranteed and also they thought you would never come and it's your very presence is a miracle you I don't even know what you deliver but I've never seen a delivery person show up in my house I'm like ah dang no one's ever placed a delivery and said I hope this gets here whenever hey what do you deliver food it's all food because I'm like freelance okay oh yeah yeah you're welcome yeah you didn't have to go outside yeah you were you were hungry before but soon you shall not be you

were very welcome and then bow very deeply to them and like as a pretty I've been Jack and walk away yeah I've been Jack thus concludes our conversation you know I've ordered a lot of food what in my life one thing I've never thought is man I hope we can get a good combo going job one for me it's just getting a crush get like crushing a good combo this this this person bringing my thought of me oh god you couldn't have asked us a question that we have so we've been we've been shooting the show for three weeks now and it's gonna be it's gonna be a really good show there have been a few segments that have tanked and each one

has a connective tissue and it's been we have to have a single conversation with a person now it now we've had a lot of really great conversations with people it's like just go out on the street and start chatting like oh my favorite all you have to do to like panic us into like being frozen and say hey here's a human being and they don't know what you do have fun have fun enjoy do you want to actually literally every time we have a conversation with somebody that's like structured ahead of time we actually have to ask like did you tell them like what we are tell them what we are the monsters we are have they listened I

think I think Justin's right and it's just expediency is the key I actually don't want you to have conversations with people because that's more time that you're spending not getting food to the next person which could be me oh I 100% agree I just don't go well bye that's great no that's good that's perfect don't overthink it if you could get if you could get a utility belt full of smoke bombs I think that would be acceptable thank you very much thank you thank you thank you all right let's go right side donkey donkey shirt on the aisle there yes that's an excellent donkey shirt it's

a fun donkey shirt hi hello what's your name Lee I'm from or from Vancouver I'm from Toronto I'm on your fantasy football league hi Lee how's the league going you are you doing so far so good this year okay you know always a mix bag early in the season excellent excellent Stacey what's your question it's a candle night themed question in fact that's fantastic my family several years ago I'm the youngest of four siblings we gave each other Christmas nicknames and so now it's their candle night sorry no these are names just for the day just for the day oh it's like a month long process there's a flurry of emailing

back and forth where you kind of exclusively get addressed by that nickname for a really extended period of time it's great it's great you just dropped it like you know a Christmas nickname I who among us hasn't done this with their own family I'm gonna need an example yeah sure yeah Lee hit me with some choice ones so my nickname is the most blasphemous I am baby leases my mom is my favorite her name's Donna she's done Don we now are gay apparel that's a lot that's a lot but it's really hard my brother-in-law Warren got good King warrants this last cuz it's like really hard to find one for Warren yeah so

what is what is my question is this my brother and I are both currently single we have historically had partners who got Christmas nicknames and now they don't and we have to like retire those nicknames and it's a weird thing yeah and if we get all been there fingers again yeah fingers crossed we get future partners and then what like at what point do we give them the nickname sort of like yeah this is it first first first of all can I please say what I'm about to say cuz oh boy it's gonna be good you have to sew the name of your ex partner's Christmas nickname onto a stocking and then very slowly raise it

up into the ceiling this is good cuz I made my ex a stocking it's going up into the ceiling into the very slowly yeah and then it's gonna stay there forever which is actually kind of a weird monument I like it but anybody sees it's gonna be like that's good prop comedy well done Griffin that's a conversation piece I here's the answer is unfortunately amorphous but also wonderful when they earn it and you won't know when that is and they won't know when that is but the moment what happened well they'll say something or do something and everyone will kind of like not at each other like that was it

it's time right then right and they'll feel really good yeah and they'll know and everyone will know and it'll be magical okay yeah great I'm not even a little bit but I take it cuz I can't handle night's magic yeah I don't know what better answer is there I hope that helped it didn't thank you baby how much time do we have we got time for like one more thing is there a representative from recovery point here yes maybe yes hi hello so recovery point is a group in Huntington that helps with addiction recovery and so we were going to donate the money from the poster sales which is $1240 we were

gonna donate that we can't I'm sorry we need it listen listen times are tight but I decided not to and instead what we're gonna do is donate this and the profits from the show to recovery point which equals out to thanks to everybody here about $12,000 thank you so much for helping our city and helping people struggling with drug addiction we did it together that's a very very cool miracle that just real quick and I'm gonna talk real quiet so the mics can't hear us yeah I just bought a hot tub because I thought I was gonna make like $3,000 off this show I I got I have a hot I got it's I got it from rena center and

I really I really needed that so I got I got really into cocaine no that's not a good thing to say no I need daddy daddy needs that I'm glad we donated the money to just kidding this is a joke I just joke you're welcome I'm sorry that was it poor taste admittedly but I do hope you enjoy the money very much well we're gonna wrap this one up for all but no enjoy the money Justin has this thing during live shows where he forgets the last thing we immediately just said so three weeks we're gonna be walking that one off for a while thank you so much to our everybody who helped make tonight possible Chase and Michael

and all their crew everyone at City Hall City Hall thank you thank you to the greatest mayor of any city ever Mayor Steve Williams thank you to everybody who worked on TV shows so tirelessly and put up with a bunch of our crap JD and Greg and Jackie and Seth and Alex and Bill and Kelsey and everybody everybody everybody who helped us thank you so much and to Jill and Seth and Shannon who spent all day decorating this yes yes thank you to Stacy and Debbie thank you to Stacy and Debbie Debbie zero you I feel like it's weird we're like making a TV show and so whenever people like thank people who like worked

with them on entertainment things was they like win an Emmy which hey let's see 2017 what's up I always think like I'll just hobnob and rub and elbows like we like I'm so grateful to all those people because they helped us make this really cool thing so thank you all very thank you and promise everybody that you'll watch the show when it comes out so here's the way this podcast works though speaking of podcast is where this podcast works in every episode we have what just no I'm just getting ready to do the thing okay just wait for the thing at the end of every episode oh crap thank you also I just want to say

real quick thank you to Saul bones and and manners and still buffering and I think was it things I bought at sheets was the one things about it sheets Dwight and everybody thank you to all those shows too every week on my brother my brother me we wrap up with a final yahoo something that we can marinate on and come back to marinate on listen after that maybe you could just like hang with me for like a second and Griffin says it and we pretend that we'll talk about it later Griffin go this one was sent in by Kevin Regal thank you Kevin it's by yahoo answers user dedicated to evolution who asks

wouldn't Harry Potter movies be so much better if Will Smith was Dumbledore my name is Justin McElroy Travis McElroy this is my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips my name is Patrick my name is Parker Max Funcon has been a huge inspiration in my life now I have this network of friends that I've made that's been literally across the entire globe and they're some of my favorite people in the world I truly cannot believe the amount of wonderful and lasting friendships that have come out of this if you feel like you might not fit in as long as you're a

good person you'll fit in because everyone there is good and amazing and kind and wonderful and you should absolutely go it will be the best decision of your life make a ton of new friends like Parker and Patrick at Max Funcon tickets for Max Funcon and Max Funcon East are on sale now at Max Funcon dot com maximum fun or comedy and culture artist owned listener supported