My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 347: Donut Miss This Episode!

Episode Date: March 20, 2017

Happy MaxFunDrive, everybody! We recorded this one in a hotel room rigth before our recent live show in Portland. The audio isn't as tight as we like it -- Travis in particular sounds like he's recording from inside of a well -- but we hope you enjoy it, nevertheless! Suggested talking points: Together Again, BSKT, Kicking Some Butt, Numa Numa Revelations, Austin Powers: Sins of the Father, Kid Star School, Pancakes DIY, Breaking DDR Boys News

Hi folks, this is Griffin McRoy, your baby brother. And this is Travis McRoy, your middle-list brother. And what you're about to hear is the first episode of the MaxFun Drive 2017. Welcome to the slam and come on and jam and all that. Justin's not here, by the way, because he got slammed and jammed. Yeah. He literally got turned into a basketball

and he got dunked through a hoop. And he fell into a cartoon alternate universe and he got put through a hoop and he needs surgery and stuff now. It's very sad, but you know what? It's the risk you take when you play with the monsters. You know what I mean? Yeah. You in the game of jams, you win or you die.

Exactly. Well, Justin lost and lived. But anyway, that's all beside the point. What you need to know about this episode one, we recorded it in Portland hours before our Portland live show, which, by the way, hey, Portland, what's up? Thanks for coming out on Saturday. We had a good time and a good night with you.

That live episode, we are probably going to save until after the MaxFun Drive, but it was super fucking fun and very weird and really long. It was like our longest live show ever. So it was a blast. The other thing you should probably know about this episode. How should what's a good way to put this? It's OK. So we recorded it in in a hotel room all together using a new setup.

And there's some minor audio issues. Travis sounds like he's maybe recording from a well or something. You can listen. Don't let Groven over sell it. You can totally understand everything I say and you can hear me. It just sounds like Griffin and Justin made me record in the hallway while they were in the hotel room. Travis Travis got put in the boo boo box.

Anyway, that's not great. And also, there's a little bit of static interference that pops up every now and then it's not like it's not like super loud or anything like that. But it's kind of annoying. We're recording this because like it's MaxFun Drive. And the last thing we want you to think is like that we just kind of shit some stuff out. We recorded like a dozen podcasts last week and we actually have a lot more

to record this week, too. And so this was sort of like the only way we could do this one. And we just didn't realize that it wasn't up to our normal standards. And that is regrettable considering it's the first week of the MaxFun Drive. And we hope it doesn't reflect poorly on us or like what we think of the drive or you, the listeners for supporting us because this episode decided we really do spend your money to improve the show technically. So we are we are sorry for the somewhat poor quality of the audio of this episode.

But that said, I will say there were some moments of this where I was laughing my head off because like we're so very rarely just as a little teaser. We do finally nail down our pitch for Austin Powers 4. So it's a very there's very exciting, very important stuff to the canon of the podcast. So first off, thank you all for listening. Thank you all for being members of the MaxFun Network. We're going to talk a lot about that in the actual episode, but it really does mean a lot that you all would support us and help us to grow

and like do stuff like travel to Portland and do a fun live show there and do do all this stuff. We really appreciate you very, very much. The other thing as sort of a mea culpa, sort of an apology for the less than awesome audio quality of this episode, we're going to be putting out another thing this probably later this week. Don't you think? Yeah, definitely.

Maybe Thursday or Friday, somewhere in there that we also recorded while we were in Portland and we can't give away. I don't want to give away too much about this thing that we recorded. It could turn out to be the pilot of the next serial is what I'll say that. I'll also say we recorded this episode that you're about to hear before the live show. We recorded this other thing after the live show. And let's just say there was a unique wink, wink, wink energy in the space, wink, wink, wink.

So that will be up later this week. But in the meantime, like, brace yourselves for a little bit of audio issues, but like an episode that I'm actually really proud of. And I would have been really sad if we had had to to dump it. So I'm very glad that you can listen still totally listenable. So don't let this turn you off. Portland is just an audio wormhole because the live show,

the only live show we never published got add up in Portland, too. There's just there's I love Portland land, man, love getting to the port city. There's audio demons and gremlins. All watches, audio swatches, white noise just all over just trying to creep on you. Anyway, that's it for this apology press conference. Any questions? Maximumfun.org forward slash donate if you want to just get it out of the way now. OK, yes.

And then you're legally allowed to skip all the Maxfun drive spots in this episode. OK, let's let's get right to it. The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert. But if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

It's familiar. But not too familiar. But not too not familiar. It's a new place. And the girls do you want to just say, hey, I want to just say, hey, I want to. Hello, welcome to my brother, brother, brother meeting. Advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin Tyler McElroy.

I'm your middle brother, Travis Tyler McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Tyler Tyler Tyler. You'll pay for the whole Tyler, but you only use the end. Did you sit out questions, Travis? I did. Why? This is our first foremost welcome to Maxfun drive. Hell, yeah, we decided to do something real fucking special for you this time, which is to say we just ate a bunch of voodoo donuts and I'm just fucking feeling

it's so hard. Yeah, this is the doughnut. What's a good, catchy, zingy doughnut skip this episode? No, that's not a good doughnuts for doughnuts. No, the doughnut, the doughnut, a hedron doughnut, a hedron. Like we had spaghetti again. And I think this is the this is the follow up because we're jacked. We're fucking jacked on jacked on sugar. We're in Portland.

We're doing our Portland live show. And you know, we're all in the same room. So we thought let's just make a very special episode. Can you take a picture of this chill ass? I mean, not during the podcast. Yeah, maybe not during the podcast. Travis has this hooked up to the Loft mics, which is weird because I feel I need that fucking totem of comedy in front of me.

Yeah, it just feels like we're talking to each other. I hate it. I need that big metal comedy dong in front of me that I could just sort of shout into. So it's weird. Like I'm just like looking at you and talking and like, is this being recorded? And I look down at this dumb little doohickey on my chest and I'm like, oh, yeah, this is this is good. So wait, so you say you sent questions?

I did episode three forty seven. I literally titled it three forty seven. Max fun drive week one recorded live in Portland. Oh, you said it like a grip ago. Dude, you said on March 16th. That was two days ago before St. Patrick's Day. I was prepared. So let's first start off with this.

Let's first start off with this. Let's first start off with this. This is funny at me. So it's a vote. I want to start off with this. Well, hold on. Mine was. No, I both I want to start off. OK, I don't have anything. OK, I got on an elevator last night when I got here to Portland at twelve forty

five a.m. with the St. Patrick's Day celebrant who smelled so much like two people's yards that it made me not want to be in the elevator with him. And so Portland just goes hard. I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know it went hard. You don't see that on the Portlandia Comedy Show. You don't see people going fucking deep in the paint to celebrate St. Patrick's Great Sacrifice.

I'll balance that out by saying I went to Rosen Thistle, local favorite Rosen Thistle, had a nice, pleasant corn, beef and cabbage. And again, it was very chill and I left. Now, granted, this was five o'clock. So I don't think we'd hit peak celebration time. Yeah, speaking of celebration, hey, what I want is what I wanted to start off with is it's week one of Max Fun Drive. And we're going to tell you all about it as we go through.

But right now, maximumfun.org forward slash donate. You know what? Listen, there's going to be two weeks of people giving you really good reasons why you should donate. Why not just do it now? And they're like, I'm done. Yeah, I agree and get that all out of the way. Then you get those parts. Yeah, then you're legally allowed to fast forward through the parts of this show

that you don't want to listen to. So if you have been waiting for the perfect time to become a Max Fun donor, it's now it's my brother, my brother and me fast, fast, fast and donate now. But listen, if you try to fast forward and you didn't donate, we'll know. And we'll shock your finger. I have been waiting to reveal this to you until we were all recording. Last night, I arrived in the evening a few hours after my brother Travis did. And I called him to say what you know what I'm about to say.

Yes, it is. I called him and I said, where are you at? He said, I'm in the hotel. I'm right above you. So I'll go up to his room. He said, I just know when I called, he said, I just got dessert. Come on up. I was like, OK, cool. I go up my little brother Travis has ordered three discreet desserts. Four of himself with no knowledge of my presence. Travis has ordered three discreet desserts.

When I asked him, when I inquired, what would possess him to get three discreet desserts, he told me I was bored. So that is not that I don't think that I wanted to. OK, what were the three desserts? First off, let me thank you. First, I believe it was a peanut chocolate bomb with salted caramel. And then there was a like vanilla ice cream and chocolate brownie number and a set of three creme brulees, or as I like to call them, creme du laise.

Why? Well, they made it to the creme du laise. OK, yes. I love that guy. I had three creme du laise and you know, he's fucked up and said it that way once. Right. And and Mr. Hillwell, you have a very creme du laise. I read shit. Shit.

And I had not intended to eat all three of them. I just wanted to sample what life in Portland. It tells was like, yeah, that is a good hotel, though. I'm enjoying this hotel. The Hotel Eastland is where people won't hear this after out of it. Yeah, Hotel Eastland Room 205 305. Better luck next time, murderers. You'll never murder us this time.

You'll catch us on the next go round. It's going to be really sad if we do get murdered in Portland. This is released for you, but you mislead. Should we get going? Yeah, we're going to tell you about the Maxfun Drive and the cool. Just go donate. You'll get cool stuff. We really need it and appreciate it. Maxfunfun.org slash donate donate.

I'm a busboy at a popular chain restaurant and I need some advice. I frequently work long shifts that begin early in the morning and end in late afternoon with no break. And I have a tendency to skimp on breakfast so bad. Tim Ferriss says you need 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes. Waking up. Who says this? Tim Ferriss for our work week for our body. I don't know who that is.

Slow carb diet. Slow carb. Slow carb. Yeah, it's like a low carb. You eat it. It's like low carb minus cheese and dairy plus beans. So beans at every meal. So you go to the cheesecake factory and you just really take your time. No, you don't know what you're not listening to me. Travis, should we turn the air conditioner off? You think I'm worried?

No, listen, this is I want people to know what it feels like to be in a hotel room. OK, well, we're working nice and cool. Now I've been doing it. That's why I was so hyped about donuts. Actually, why I'm so surprised you didn't drop this, mom. We'll get back to this question in a second. I've been doing the slow carb diet. So I've only been eating like no, no sugar, nothing white, no milk, no dairy,

no sugar, no fruit, no. Well, this is a bad diet. If it's like, don't fruit it up, dude. Now, did you think your ancestors had easy accessibility to fruit? Yes, they just like looked up in a tree and they're like, let's eat those. There's some red stuff up here. That's weird. Fruit test is sugar. It's sugar, guys. Hey, guys, it's sugar.

So wait, you're telling me that you have the inside scoop that fruit is bad? It's bad. You heard it here first. Fruit is sugar. Like you're dropping on me. OK, you're dropping on me. Hold on, we'll get back to the question in a second. Fruit is bad for you. Signed it just in that way.

If I was a person of a healthy weight, fruit and moderation would be good for me. I'm not. But once you get overweight, I'm not allowed to have fruit anymore. Because now fruit is bad for you. No, because it's just sugar, guys. It's a high. OK, Travis, what does sugar come from? No, tell me. I'm I'm not. These are bees.

OK, bad space. What does sugar come from? Not space. You know what sugar comes from. Well, it comes from cane, which is a plant that grows from the ground. So why is it that if you eat a bunch of that plant, that's a bad thing you should avoid for diets. But if you eat one that looks like runts, then it's fine. Well, runts is a great.

You've complicated this by bringing runts into the equation, because I look at these little guys and I'm like, is it fruit or no? Because it sure as hell looks like it. So they should make candy shaped like vegetables. I have to eat 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes of waking or you will die with beans. It's like like that Jason Statham movie every morning. I wake up and eat like four scrambled eggs and a bunch of lentils and black beans and vegetables sometimes within 30 minutes of waking.

Sydney says, and I quote, that is not a smell I ever want to wake up to again. I have no choice. That's why I have to. How's your how's it? And I don't want to be blue here. So let's be delicate. But how's your how's your 9 a.m. constitutional? How's your beamers? Not not applicable. But anyway, on the seventh day, you just put the questions down.

No, just made the decision of well, I'm not going back to this. No, I'm going back to I just want to say that one of the things is on the seventh day on Saturday, just in rest. That is just pretty much because I have to eat like a garbage person. What? No, this is a bad diet. That's why I was so excited and why at 6 a.m. this morning when Griffin will go to use the bathroom, I was sitting in my bed with a laptop on my lap and Griffin said, what are you doing?

I said, I'm looking at donuts because I was planning to eat my donuts like a garbage person. This is a did you consult of like a physician or a teacher or one that I know pretty well? OK, all right. Can we you want to get back into the question? Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, so where were we? Good busboy to pop up a chain restaurant. Busboy to pop up a chain restaurant needs to advise work long shifts that begin

early in the morning and late in the afternoon with no break. I have a tendency to skim on breakfast. About a week ago, I was five hours into a shift after having eaten nothing but a banana in the morning and I was getting to the hunger level where I started to feel sick, seeing no other options. I took an I took an untouched plate of biscuits back into the kitchen and had a couple of bites. I took no joy in this and quickly went back to work. When I got home, I recounted the dark deed I had committed to my friends and they

said, not only is it not gross to eat a stranger's unwanted food, but they encourage me to do it all the time and with foods that are tastier than biscuits. Not applicable, but fine. I love my friends, but I have seen them eat off the ground and out of the trash. So I don't really trust their judgment here. My friends are reckons. How am I for doing what I did? Should I throw away all caution and dignity

to the wind and eat a rando's mac and cheese? That's from Damial. The thing is, is this is fine right up until the point where you are observant. Yes, it's like, yeah, OK, you ate a bite of that thing. Cool. Now picture that. But your boss is there or is this fine? Or I'm sorry, I'm so on the side of just eat the fucking food. Don't throw good food in the garbage can.

That's so wasteful, but but if I go to Bob Evans and those were my biscuits that I bought and paid for and then I leave and I'm like, oh, I left my coat. I got to go get my coat back and I walk back in and I see you eating my fucking biscuits, you I would shout. I would point at you and I would shout thief thief thief. Well, this should be. Oh, this should be like a man where it's like, you know, if you share a lift with someone you split the cost, you can have those biscuits,

but half of those biscuits are going on your holy shit, Travis. OK, biscuit, biscuit app, biscuit. B.S.K.T. is the app. And here's the app. Biscuit does not have a K in it. Now it's so cool for shortening it to biscuit shortening shortening it. There's something there. There's something there. We'll get you there.

You push the button on biscuit biscuit. You say I have a nearest. No, it's the inverse. It's it's both. There's two sides of it. So if you have a bunch of unfit touch food, it's like, oh, God, I feel terrible about this away. Press the biscuit, you load up biscuit, you load it and say, I got some grub here.

And you put a little flag or something so they don't get rid of it. And then if you're hungry and you don't want to pay for the food, you press the button, it's like, where's food around here? And it connects. It's connected. Then you have to go to the Bob Evans to be like, sir, a table for one. It's like, no, don't don't worry about me. I was led to believe. Listen, listen, listen, listen, I'm operating outside of your traditional

restaurant norms. Don't worry about me. Don't even think about I don't mind sharing a table. This is I've worked a couple of different breakfast restaurants before and a couple of different iterations. And I I have stolen food before it's made it to Subway. Like, like I worked in a hotel breakfast restaurant place where they just had like a bunch of like Danish's and I would just eat them like they were just there. But this is not made to order.

No, no, no, no, no, but I definitely worked at the Olive Garden. And I definitely a few times like a few too many calamari on this plate. Don't want to and then just snap you. That's called the Angel's share. Angel's share of calamari. We talk a lot about our former jobs. And this is a question that maybe a legal law person could answer for us. But is it possible to get

after fired in some way, fired, fired because we we're sort of braggadocious about our little Robin Hood-esque acts. I think I'm beyond statute of limitations. Oh, Deffo. Yeah, fine. When I quit that breakfast restaurant hotel place, I just took two boxes of frozen Danish's with me. That was my severance. That was my breakfast severance. The best thing about working at the Olive Garden is every few weeks,

well, not a few weeks, because it wouldn't have to be every few days. These are chicken tenders for kids at the Olive Garden, but they come frozen. Right. And some of the tenders would break or into smaller pieces. So after you distributed all the tenders, you would be left with in the bottom of the bag, just some unservable nugs. Some chicken leave, because we didn't have nuggets. We had tenders. So the best day of all of our lives is we would just dump all those into the fryer.

And that was like a day at Olive Garden. And you bring them out and everybody's like, Nug Day, Nug Day, Nug Day. When I worked at the coffee shop that was also a restaurant, you could have like one meal while you were working. But the benefit was you made the meal yourself so you could just go off menu. Like, yeah, I had a sandwich stuffed with french fries and stuff. And you would just put whatever you wanted to end your meal. And you just end up with like a plate pile with food that was free.

There's that nasty air conditioner again. When I was at Travis, try the air conditioner off. Please try the air conditioner. Oh, you can't. You're strapped in. Wait, this is this is a fun little folk game we've got now. It's like the Maypole. Can Travis get to the air conditioner? I can just unhook the lab. Did it? Nope. Don't you dare.

Don't you dare. I'm going to pull my zoom off this thing. Come on, don't pull it off. I'm going to try it. Right there. You're right there. It's right there. Just try the panel. God, this is like gravity. There we go. I've done it.

When I was at. Oh, God. When I was at Target. They sweep in the hallway. I was at Target the night before we went on the Joco cruise. And as I'm at Target and I'm take Charlie up to get a juice. We don't let her have juice a lot because it's made of fruit. And we all know how that is for you.

Yeah, we were as I was going to the juice, I saw a lady who worked at Target eating a single hot dog on a plate because I think that was a target meal. And she was just flipping through pictures of her baby while she ate a hot dog. And I was like, that's nice. That seems really nice. And then later she checked me out and I was like, I didn't want to look in what you got cooking. I didn't want to mention that.

That's got to be jelly because jam don't shake like that. I saw you eat a hot dog. And I wanted to say like, hey, did you like your hot dog with a good hot dog? But I feel like there's some. Well, you wouldn't say that to any other human being ever. So I knew that she had just enjoyed a hot dog. Yeah. What's better, Justin, her eating a hot dog and flipping pictures of her

baby or her holding her baby and flipping pictures of her hot dogs? OK, we've solved this one. Yeah, how about a yahoo? Yeah, this one is sent by Drew Campbell. Thank you, Drew. It's the answer. She's sorry something's gone wrong, but we'll call them. Jarm.

Jarm. I just felt as if I could stand. Like, Seth Ramatelli does. Oh, yeah, you get that Seth Rostyle. This one is asked by Jerms over with. Well, that was fun. Trying to sit back down. Jerms asks, do you like people generally?

Or would you rather kick some butt? It's in the new Predator movie. That's the first scene. One Predator says to another one, hey, do you like people generally? Or do you want to kick some butt? I mean, I think this is something that the big beef cakes say to each other, like, I just don't like people. I'd rather kick some butt.

I can tell like people generally. Generally speaking. Generally speaking. Show me 10 people. I will dislike at least six of them. And the other four will kick their butts. Or, well. Do you like people generally or would you rather kick some butt?

This is a tough one, isn't it? Because like, in today, I look around and I'm like, I want to stay positive, right? And like, except everybody all walks of life. But I also see like, more and more people that I think like, I don't like you generally and I think I'd rather kick your butt. I don't advocate violence. I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. I like people generally and I would also like to kick some butt.

Justin, I'm sorry. I wish that were true. But I would like to cite a great media precedent for this. It's the hit film Street Fighter. Yeah. And when they're making Blanca, if I remember correctly, they make him 51% good. So he doesn't just go around murdering everyone all the time.

OK. So that's the question is, do you like people 51%? So did you recently watch Street Fighter and just think like, boy, I got to think of a way to reference this in the podcast? I haven't seen it since it first aired in theaters. That moment is always really stuck with me. OK. There's one really sick line in Street Fighter,

this movie when Bison is talking to Chun-Li, I think it is. Yeah. He says, the day that the in Bison destroyed your village was the most important day of your life. To me, it was Tuesday. It's so rad. It's like a sick word. It's a good way to say it.

It's like, did they bring in one? They brought in Shane Black to write, listen, Shane. Shane, write this one line. Great one line. I really liked the line where in Bison's talking to, I think it was Ryu and he says, I don't like people generally. I'd rather kick some butt. Does this mean, does this, they're OK?

It sounds like Shredder. It sounds like Master Shredder. I don't like people. I don't like turtles generally. I'd rather kick some butt. I've met some nice one, definitely, that I have like, but like on the whole. Charlie, by the way, this question's from nine years ago.

This was, this was before fucking George W. Bush was president and people were really, and he was on his way out and people were really thinking about kicking some butt. Charlie says, I like some people, but some people are just a lost cause. And me thinks that a kick in the butt would not cure them. Need something much more effective. Let me think what we should do.

Charlie. Kill them, Charlie. Are you talking about murder, Charlie? D.A. Charlie, do you think murder and also I think if you ever type the word me thinks your computer should explode. But you should have just written me things and like Cliffy pops up and was like, you might be one of the people people dislike generally.

Bye. We hi there. It seems like you're making things worse for everybody. Do you want to shape up or ship out? OK, I have another question here. No, no, Justin. Oh, no. No, it's time. It's time for our first Max Fun Drive break.

It's our first Max Fun Drive break. Take a break now. Pledge gifts this year. Well, let's talk about the Max Fun Drive. So we're on this. I'm going to give you the short version where our network called Max Fun Fun. They make a lot of great podcasts.

Been here for seven years. That's wild, man. Never get rid of us. And we this is a network funded by you, the listeners. And that's how we pay the bills around here. We also we also do advertisements, which you hear on the show. But those are those pale in comparison to what we get from donations from viewers like you.

It would not run. And the James L. Night Foundation. This would not run on advertising alone. We need you to support us. And so at once a year, we come to you and say hat in hand and say, hey, if you like the stuff you're listening to on the network, please could you pay a little bit for it?

What is it? What does that look like? Well, we're talking about you pledging a certain a month that you can afford to pay every month. For if you pledge just five bucks, you are going to get exclusive bonus content that. And I'll be honest, at this point, it is a lot. It's a bonus. I mean, it's seven years of my brother,

my brother and me bonus content, three of Adventure Zone. There's videos. There's an exclusive clip from our CISO show that you can't find anywhere else. Yeah, I set that up. It's like a exclusive clip from the CISO show. It's Chickarelli and before the teens. Oh, fuck me. That's really good stuff.

And you get all that plus episodes of all the other shows. Every show on the network does a bonus episode. There's tons of great stuff. City and I for our show, Saw Bones this year did just an hour about Goop. Just talked about Goop for an hour. The Gwyneth Paltrow thing? Yes. Oh, man.

It sounds like a required list. Well, let's run it down then for my brother, my brother and me. We did Your Three Dads, an episode about us being. OK, no, just full transparency. Did you see the heart that I made for Your Three Dads, by the way? No. It's really very good stuff. Yeah. Full transparency.

It's the worst of the bonus content of this year. It was it was a pit for us to pour sort of our fatherly exhaustion into just a big cup full of our very tired brew. Yeah, for Rosebuddies, we talked to the Bachelorette Canada, Jasmine Lorimer, did an interview with her about life after being the Bachelorette. That was really, really fun. Schmanners, we watched and reviewed series five of Great British Bake Off. Oh, nice. Oh, nice.

Trends like these. The whole series? What a bargain. We talked about the trends from 1900 to 1920. If times are tight, we fucking totally, totally get it. And really, we don't. There are people like, I can only do five dollars a month. Like, that's awesome. Just just the fact that you would support us in that way is is incredible. And like, we don't we don't care like how how much you give.

It's just I was I was a supporter of the network before we were on the network. And it was just because I was a big JJ Go, big JJ Go fan. And I just wanted to like be a supporter of this thing that I really liked. And it felt really good. And and so if you listen to our shows and you want to feel some ownership over this this really cool thing that we've all made together, then this is the way to do it. Just a couple others, and we'll talk about more later. But if you can pledge ten dollars, you're going to get a drive

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You get the other stuff plus custom note cards and envelopes and a four color rocket pin. A rocket stamp, a rocket shaped candle that smells like sharpened pencil, friendship and a little bit of wax because it's a candle. That's a twenty dollars. And if you're already a donor, first off, thank you. Secondly, you can get these gifts if you just upgrade to the next level. So if you're a five dollar member right now, upgrading to ten dollars, you're going to get and if you become a twenty dollar donor,

you get the gifts at ten dollars and five dollars and it all stacks up. But also our goal for this time for this go round is ten thousand, which I'd say new donors, not dollars. Yeah, ten thousand new and upgrading dough. I shit ten thousand dollars. And it's a pretty ambitious goal. But like we more or less hit it last year. Yeah, last year we were like nine thousand eight hundred.

Let's do it. So let's do it. There's a bunch of new shows on the network and like I'm optimistic. We can get the Rosebuddies. There's Rosebuddies first year and like we are we we do a lot of shows and we get a lot of people who ask us like, how do you guys do so much stuff? The answer to that is like we are able to make a career out of it because of and because of the donations we get from your money also goes straight

to the shows that you listen to. Yeah, you choose the shows you listen to what you want to support. Right. And a portion goes to Max Fun. And the rest of it is just split up among those shows. So you're directly supporting shows by saying you you listen to them. We'll talk more about this in a bit. But for right now, go to maximumfun.org and click donate. That's maximumfun.org and click on donate.

Choose the membership level that's right for you. Give them your credit card and other basic information. And just like that, you'll be a member. But if you become a new and upgrading donor, new or upgrading donor, make sure to let us know. Tweet at us, put it in our Facebook group, something so we can say thank you. And get involved. There's just Travis.

That sounds like a lot of work. Travis will certainly say thank you. Yeah, one of our meetings on the links will do it. We'll make our babies do it. I'm going to have my my social media manager. There also there's going to be Max Fun meetup days and special events and live events. There's a ton of stuff.

Support stuff you love. OK, another question here from well, I'll tell you in a second. Yeah, we'll get there. We'll get there. Don't rush me. I've never been very social at work outside of my immediate team members. Today, while walking on the hall, two guys pointed me out with an honorable. Hey, it's that guy. I have never spoken to either of these men outside of courtesy,

not in passing and do not even know their names. How should I take this address? No, man. What could have labeled me as that guy? And how can I own it? And that's from that guy in that office. Something bad. It's not good, right? I think we can all agree. It's not good. It's not good. This is something that would really eat at me.

If I was just walking down the street and somebody is in the Hey, it's that guy and kept going and be like, what do you mean? What? What do you mean? What are you saying? And that would I think that would live with me for 20 years. I got to ask. And this is a tough question and you may not be ready to answer it right now. And if you're not, that's fine.

And if the answer is yes, then no judgment. But are you Numa Numa? Are you the Numa Numa guy? Are you? Is there a way to search for yourself to make sure you're not a meme? I'm going to search to think these days. Yeah, we everybody can be Ed Ray's memes. There's somewhere there's a meme for every human being. The snake ate its own tail.

Drew Scanlon, a guy I know, a giant bomb. Oh, my God, he's the biggest meme in the universe. Have you seen the guy blinking? Like that's Drew Scanlon works at giant bombs for one of the giant bomb videos. And it was like, oh, no, memes are happening to real people now. They're not just made up people. Real people are being mean. Everybody's being mean all the time.

Be careful. Maybe you're a meme and you don't even know it yet. And the thing is, when you become a meme, you can't take that back. You can't un-mean yourself. Maybe they were just saying it randomly, you know, like just being weird. Sometimes people just do weird stuff. Yeah, you know, one scene in Austin Powers. It's early in the movie and Austin's like, there you are. And you can do that better.

There you are. You can do that way better. That's my best. There you are. There you are. You're doing this like I mean, it's hard to do like three words. There you are. It's me, Austin Powers, isn't it?

They're like, oh, it's a shim and he's mean. You're not just gonna whine. Let me finish my point. So Austin's like, oh, like Jeffy, guys, there you are. Like that, the better, better. And the woman's like, do I know you? And he's like, no, but that's where you are. You're there.

And fuck, that's funny. So the thing I want to make, the point I was trying to make with that is don't you think they should make another Austin Powers movie? OK, listen, we're finally all in a room together. We've got some time. Yeah, I'm shutting my computer. We're going to pitch Austin Powers 4 right now. This is our back door pilot for Austin Powers 4.

OK, we've got to get back to base. It's got to be Son of Austin Powers. It's got to have a son, got a son, got a son. Who's the son of Austin Powers? He's a teen. Justin Bieber. Eddie Redmayne. No, no, no.

Oh, yeah, you jumped on my Eddie Redmayne. He's very good. OK, we've got to do Time Driver, right? It's Austin Powers son from the future. We've already done that. He just had a baby. We're not Time Traveling. No.

He's got a son. He's dealing with it. Time Traveled in every one of them, just. No, but not this one. This one's called Austin Powers back number two basics. I want to keep it real. He's, it's Mike Myers today. He's a 70-year-old man, and he had a son.

And maybe he's a grandpa. Maybe his son's about to have a son. Michael Cain is back in it. Michael Cain's dead as disco. There's no way in this world, Austin. Don't just spring that out of me. Michael Cain's out there playing Cain, right? What Justin is saying is Michael Cain is alive now,

but there's no way he outlives the next Austin Powers. Austin Powers is 70. And we Jedi ghost him in it. We have definitely needed Michael Cain Jedi ghosting. Now, record it today. Right now, there's a movie executive at, who owns these rights? Paramount.

Paramount. There's a movie executive at Paramount hearing this right now and saying to himself, oh, this is going to be great. What we're going to do, we're going to CGI Mike Myers to make him play his own son. No, no, no. Listen to me. That's real.

Don't chase that. It's real. It's Eddie Redmayne. As his son. And he's at school or. Is it training? Maybe he's training. Maybe he's a DJ.

And he has not. He's not in the spy life, but for some reason. Oh, fuck. Oh, Austin Powers isn't kidnapped. Austin Powers has been. OK, Austin Powers. OK, Dr. Evil set a trap 30 years ago for Austin Powers. And it's a trap just for Austin Powers.

And the thing is, they stole Felicity Shagwell and locked her in a trap that only Austin can access, except Austin has been captured by another villain that's competing with Dr. Evil. OK. Austin Powers, Jr. has enough of they theorize. The Basil X position theorizes that Austin Powers, Jr. will have enough of Austin's DNA or genetic material

to break into the facility that only Austin could access because it's DNA to rescue Felicity Shagwell. And the two of them will rescue Austin Powers together. And she's got to like, you know, your dad's not as bad as. Yeah. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Here's what I like about this. No humor.

No jokes. No jokes. This is a very dark, gritty reboot. The competing. No, it's not dark and gritty, guys. I want to get this made. I'm tired of us pitching a bunch of foreign ideas that don't get made.

And we always think gritty reboots. Gritty this, gritty this. I want to make Austin Powers more. It's not gritty reboot. It's just like a really in-depth, like, deep dive into, like, family and stuff like that. OK, let me take it one step further. The competing villain, that's Scott Evil.

This Scott Evil is now turned into, like, he's got his whole. Austin Powers colon generations. Yeah. This is so good. Like, father-like son. You'll never guess who helps Felicity and Austin Powers, Jr. rescue Austin from Scott Evil. You'll never guess who helps.

Is it Dr. Evil? It's Dr. Evil, Travis. Dr. Evil. That, too, helps to get back on top. This is really good. Austin Powers colon sins of the father. This is good. Eddie, you mean it's such a fucking good poll.

Yeah. Austin Powers. I wish it wasn't a British person, but I think that Eddie's probably. I would also like to find an opportunity. Ooh, maybe number two's had a son. And it's number three, number four, number eight. And just like that, we've lost it.

Played by Shia LaBeau. Just like that. OK, we're back. Yep, I thought I'd get you in there. Wait, Shia LaBeau's movie son. I have the perfect person to play Austin. Now Eddie Redmayne is not bad. To play Austin?

I think I have a pretty good idea. Yeah, I think America knows the favorite person. Are you fairly confident you can get Mike? Yes. Yeah, I think so. You think you can get Mike? I feel like if you could get Mike, he would have been, we would have had this film on.

Mike Myers has a second to cell phone like a drug dealer because he does not want to be on his real phone making a call and missed the one from Paramount asking him to be Mike Myers. Can I hit you guys with this for Austin Powers Jr.? Uh-huh. Adam Devine from Workaholic. Oh my god, that's really, really, really, really it.

That's it. That's really it. Perfect. Justin, let me. First off, the guy's fucking hysterical. He makes you laugh all the time. So we don't need to write jokes. And I'm losing because it's B-Funny.

Can I throw a little bit of spaghetti at the wall? A little bit of comedy spaghetti. You guys tell me what you think. We do a small crossover scene with the master of disguise as played by Dana Carvey. OK, so you're getting a little bit bigger. Because I want, I want, I think if there's a scene, OK, maybe this is it.

Because I just want a tiny, tiny scene of like Austin in the prison where he's been captured and the guy in the cell next to him is Dana Carvey. But something for the fans, something for it's like, oh, they're back together. We're not worthy. We're waiting for this. Yeah, we're not worthy.

I love that. Oh, and maybe there's a thing where someone says literally we're not worthy. He's a big fan. Can I suggest one other name for Austin Powers? What about Kristen Schall as Austin Powers Jr.? Austin is. Yes.

Could go either way as a name. He had a daughter. She's not in the life. But now she is. Austin Powers Jr. is Kristen Schall. I'm just saying that's another option. That'd be fucking really good, too. I would also like to date Kate McKinnon in there somewhere

just because I've been trying to find a project to work with her. Yeah, I'd love to work with her. You know she's going to be Miss Frizzle in the new. What? Yes. I do know that. Well, we were recording a podcast. Yeah, I think that's fine.

I forgot what we were doing. So anyway, in closing, give us some money to do this. I think we were doing a question, weren't we? Yeah. I'm going to be that guy. No, we got that guy. We did it. That's how you be that guy.

You're the guy who got Austin Powers Jr. made. Austin Powers 4 off the ground. Why don't you read another one? OK. I'm also finally doing Austin Powers 4 instead as like an HBO series rather than just doing it. I think there's too much to be told in one movie. I think we can make it a series.

It would be nice if it was a series because then otherwise my three-pack Blu-ray collector's criterion edition of Austin Powers would like it won't feel so shameful if it's a TV series next to that. Because it's a fourth movie. What am I going to buy a new box? It just doesn't make sense. Just get duct tape it on.

I was doing some chores with my girlfriend at her apartment the other day and noticed something peculiar. While she was washing dishes, she would scrub them with a sponge, shake them off, and set them out to dry. Wait. What? She would scrub them with a sponge, shake them off, and then set them out to dry.

She does not rinse her dishes. I love this woman more than anything, and I don't know how to lovingly say that she isn't finishing her dish job. We plan on moving in together later this year, and I can't imagine eating off soapy dishes for the rest of our lives. Please help.

Well, let me, that's from Sudsy near Seattle. Let me say this first off. That's obviously utterly baffling human behavior. But one thing we should understand going into this is that I don't know if this question asked her as a man or a woman or a non-binary person. It doesn't really matter. Telling your partner they don't wash the dishes good

is never going to be good optics. It's just never going to be... Do you want to wash the dishes by yourself forever? Because this is a good way, oh, shit, it's a honey pot. This is a honey pot. This is a honey pot. I've been working for the last nine years with my wife to get her to just not make me fill the dish wash anymore.

But I'm like, I don't know, honey bowls. I can't even just do it, but I'm like, damn it. I'll get you next time. I'll get you next time, Gadget. My wife still doesn't do it right. And there's a right way to do it to wash the dish wash. I don't do it right. Theresa can fit every dish and cup and plate

and everything we own in one load of dish wash. And I put four bowls in and somehow it's overcrowded. We got this fucking Martha Stewart square dishware and it's just like, it's interlocking. It's like fucking tetrominoes and that shit. This, she's like actually making it worse in a way because the food particles, the food particulate, if you will, it's still there.

It's still present and now there's soap in the mix. But you guys are missing the worst element of this. You nasty ass sponge. Sponge is fucking gross. What's wrong with your sponge? Well, it touches every bit of everything on the plate, right? And then sits still wet, still with shit in it, just like out in the open air and then you scrub it again.

Unless every time, unless you do have a dishwasher but you only use it to wash your sponge between washing dishes. The nightmare. You have to buy a new sponge every time. You need one. Now I don't, this is funny that we're talking about this. Speaking of like different dish procedure,

I tend to hand wash dishes when we have a dishwasher. I didn't hand wash dishes usually because it's like, now I don't have to worry about it. I just wash it real quick and then put it up. But I lay it out and I don't ever dry it. And I mentioned this to, I went and got my haircut by my man, Sonny, my dude at MasterCuts, who I've discussed before.

And he said, oh, I told him this, we were discussing dishes for a reason. I told him this, he said, oh buddy, nobody drives their dishes. They, it's on TV. If you're on TV, you dry your dishes. Nobody drives your dishes, buddy. No, it's not time for that.

Well, I think we all realized that like, the sun dries it or whatever, if you just like put it somewhere for a while. But when he said that about like, it's something they do on TV, I started thinking like, no, wait a minute. If you watch Dawson's Creek anytime or, and sometimes the OC, but anytime,

in Dawson's Creek, the OC. Nobody does any chores on the OC ever. The, anytime the mother character on either of the shows is having a conversation, she is chopping vegetables, like constantly chopping vegetables. And maybe drying dishes is like that. It's like, it's weird to just stand in the kitchen and have a conversation to like,

we're inventing this idea of drying your dishes. So like, there's some movement in the blocking, but it's just a media creation of drying dishes. Because we all know if we're sitting and looking at each other, it dead in the eye and the dead at night, we look each other waking up out of dead sleep. We look at the other person and say,

they dry on their own, don't they? They do. They do, it's called evaporation. Time dries all plates. You guys drying dishes out there? No, the only thing I dry, I do dry one thing. It's pots and pans. I'll dry it because they're metal.

And I've seen like sheet pans go rusty from like a little bit of moisture caught in like a fold of something, you know. I got that space age material, dude. I got that fucking hydrophobic alloy. So I'm not worried about it. But also the problem with pots and pans is they're so big and clunky that like,

it's hard to find a good place to stack. Anyways, we're getting on top of this. How can we help this person? What should they do? They can't say anything, right? They just have to rinse? You gotta rewash at 3 a.m. wake up and like do the fucking like cobblers elf shit.

You could do a thing. Okay, you could do this move. Honey, I just read the darkest thing. Do you know that there are people that rinse their dishes after they scrub them? I read in popular scientific American that I think that's never happened. It's just Neil deGrasse Tyson

is what you just described. The rinses, the rinsing your dishes is actually, like I don't like to rinse them either, but apparently it's actually better. It makes you smarter like Mozart. You know Mozart rinses dishes? Yeah. Pretty weird.

Can I read a yahoo? Yeah, please. Or should we talk more about the Maximum Fun Drive? Well, now read another yahoo. This yahoo was sent in by Rachel Rose in Game Recognized Game. Thank you, Rachel. Yahoo answers user.

Well, this one's just anonymous. So I'm gonna call him. Reince asks, do celebrities have to go to school? Do celebrities have to go to school? Now I know they bring in like the fucking Olsen twins. They're like, we'll bring school to you and they bring in a tutor or whatever.

I have a friend who is in a billboard dad with the Olsen twins and said that they had to like share like a tutor for a day. And it's like, I bet that's not, okay, I wanna be very careful with my language here because I'm not saying celebrities are dumb or anything like that. Obviously, Miami Alec is like a super genius.

But I have to think the school they bring to you on the set of billboard dad isn't very good. Well, here's the thing, Griffin, counterpoint, counterpoint, why would it need to be? What do you go to school for? What do you go to college for? To get a job on billboard dad. To get a job, to get a career.

Yeah. If you're, listen, if you've made it to starting a billboard dad, what career are you worried about getting? If you think about it, a lot of people will say like, if you're gonna try to be an entertainment, don't have a plan B, because it's so hard to make it an entertainment that if you have a plan B,

that's what you're gonna fall back on. So maybe if you're already in billboard dad, like learning how to think is admitting weakness. If you learn how to think and what like, sciences and numbers and stuff, you're saying to yourself, I might not always be riding this gravy train. So maybe you shouldn't, maybe it's like,

you're setting yourself up for failure in the entertainment industry. I like that in your world, Justin, the person who's worried about not always riding this gravy train, is the child out there, and not who's ever in control of stuff. It's just like, I don't want him to learn about reading. He could lose his breath.

Like the image I keep coming back to is, you're on the set of billboard dad and the tutor comes and goes to the Olsen twins and says, what is this shape with the six sides of it? And Mary Kate says, well, that there is a rhombus and the teacher says, no, it's not a rhombus, try again and Mary Kate says, I'm Michelle fucking Tanner. It's a rhombus.

It is a rhombus. It's a rhombus. Do you think, okay, look at the music I'm playing there. Do you think that in the day to day life of the Olsen twins, if one of them misidentified a basic shape, anybody's gonna fucking correct them? Yeah. How rude.

No way. That's all. On the set of home alone two, nobody's gonna go to Macaulay Culkin and be like, what's 60 times four. And he's like, it's 240. Yeah. Okay.

Mr. Mathblaster over there. But the question is this like, I think he said, I think he asked that and then Macaulay Culkin just throws a wad of a hundred dollar bills into his fucking open. What's 60 times four? He threw a wad of a hundred dollar bills into my mouth. What the fuck?

Like if you're Elijah Wood, right? And you're filming North and someone's like, hey, tell me about this like battle from a civil war. You're like, no, I'm starring in North. Bye. Bye, I mean North. Bye. Hey Macaulay, I'd like to,

you did the required reading, right? You read 1984 and he's just like, I'm playing Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic and Knuckles with Michael Jackson right now. Can you eat a pizza hut and playing Sonic? Can you please fucking get out of my hair? I gotta go dangle Elijah Wood out of a tree house. That was a documentary that movie.

You do, like it, you could make the argument that if you are famous, and that doesn't last, right? Like there's so few people for whom they can consistently keep that up their whole lives, right? So you can make the argument that if they make you go to school when you're famous as a child, you're like missing dope shit you could be doing everywhere. You can be like going to parties and.

I'm not saying, I don't want to be, I know celebrity, I know education's important. I know that these people work hard to teach these kids. I'm just saying, I don't know how you teach what is essentially a God. That's the thing is I'm not saying all celebrities are dumb. I'm saying if I were a child celebrity, you couldn't get me to read.

You could not get me to read. I would hire eight people to read scripts to me. But like normal kids don't have to learn about like how to retain as many points as possible on the back end of the international distribution rights, which like the Olsen ones have to be, it's just a different, it's a different. It's a different education.

It's a different intelligence. They're different street smarts. They get, no, but like if the street is a. Hollywood Boulevard smarts. Boulevard smarts. I bet you Mara Wilson paid a lot of attention and like really liked learning from her, from her teachers.

Well Mara Wilson is effective genius. Yeah, I know, I know. If I was a genius, I could probably be like a child after being smart too. Yeah, I don't want to paint with too broad a brush is what I'm saying. But I'm saying back in time. Okay, let's travel back to the 1700s, right?

You were apprenticed to a printmaker. There weren't people that were like, okay, but also we need you to learn about baking and shit. That's what I'm saying. You had the one job and you were happy with it. If you're a child star, you have a apprentice. You have your job, your career path is set. This like romance education is a modern contrivance.

Like you don't need to know all this stuff. We're breaking down some shit on this episode. Why can't we go back to a day where if someone's like, can you balance your checkbook? And you're like, no, I was in Star Trek. Like, obviously my job is being in Star Trek. Your job is to balance my checkbook. Everybody wins.

I'm a job creator. That's the problem with the economy now. Too many people getting into other, like, oh, I do my own taxes. No, you shouldn't do your, you should pay someone else to do your taxes. That's their job. They also need money.

Why are you taking money away from people who know how to do your taxes? Yeah, learning too much is just hurting the economy. This is true. Oof, we're new for. We're getting there. We're getting some stuff on this one. We're getting close to the truth though.

You know what, another way of getting close to the truth, and that's to donate to the Maximum Fun Drive. The Max Fun Drive is going on right now. If you go to maximumfun.org, click that donate button and just help us out for five, just five bucks a month. You're gonna get oodles upon oodles of. Noodles. Noodles.

You're gonna get right to your door. Noodles delivered directly to you. Still hot. How do they do it? At $10, oh, we didn't touch on this one. 35 bucks? Yes. If you can spare 35 bucks,

and I know that's a chunk of change, but maybe you can spare it. Maybe you listen to like a lot of shows. We hear from people a lot where they were listening to two shows and then within the last year, they picked up still buffering and Rose Buddies and Shmanners and they think, I'm gonna listen to a lot more shows.

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Time to blast off to adventure in Dunking. Yeah, I'm gonna drink both. You can put anything there. You can gotta be alcoholic. You can have a root beer float in those mugs. Yeah. Oh, treat yourself. These drives are the way that like,

we don't like asking for money, but we do like the idea, oh, Travis does. I do. I wasn't gonna say it, but I love asking for money. We don't, we don't, probably speaking like asking for money, but we do, the thing that I really like, the reason I don't feel bad about the Max Fun Drive is that I really do believe it's worth paying

for the stuff that you like. And we are in the way the media has sort of diversified. You can find stuff that's much more niche than you used to be able to, but you have to, you have to be the one to support that stuff. And you have to be the one who says, I like this, I want more of it. Because there isn't that broad, you know,

media buy, you know, like Gillette, is it buying a bunch of ads to keep their shows running? Like we rely on the people who like the stuff to pay for it. And we really do, it really does mean a lot. When it comes down to it, we don't miss episodes. Like we work as hard as we can to not miss episodes, because we know that there are people out there supporting us who love the things that we made

and look forward to it every week, and they're supporting us and like it means a lot to us. And so like it's a job for us, that's also a passion for us. We work really hard. Well, I think I only really work really hard on adventure stuff, but the other ones I do work some on. Well, we work hard to write the scripts for my brother and my brother and me.

Yeah, sure. That's our challenge. And hours and hours every year. To pay the writers. Yeah. To pay the writers. To pay the fucking cheat. And so I think what's important,

I think what's really, sorry, I'm gonna take this one again. This is like, this is confusing. Hey, Jerry, what were you thinking with this fucking line, dude? Like how am I, like Jerry Seinfeld, like Jerry, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld, when you wrote this line for our script, like how did you think I was gonna deliver this?

Fucking just amateur. You're fired, Jerry. You're fired Jerry Seinfeld. We have more money than you now because of the Maximum Fun family. We have a, I think part of the reason our show has been, and we as people have been successful, is that our listeners know that we aren't gonna speak

a bunch of bullshit to them. That we tell them the truth. I lied about Jerry Seinfeld. So here's the truth. If you listen to our shows and you like it and you don't pay money and you could pay money, you're stealing it. And you're a thief and you should go to prison forever.

I don't think that's too much to ask. If you do this and you know you have the money and you don't give it to us and you could and you want to but don't, I think just go surrender yourself to a jail right now. And also listen, we're working on the honor system here, but it's kind of a reverse honor system where if you have a friend that you know

to donate $5 a month and they listen to our shows and they don't donate $5, you need to take that friend to jail. Yeah, you need to send that friend to jail. If you know in your heart, you could ask Ken Jong to donate $100 a month, the max fund, and you don't do it. You don't do it?

You're kind of stealing from us in a way. Yeah, so both of you should go to, who goes to jail? Both of them go to jail, it's a prisoner's dilemma, is that it? Yeah, that's not how it works at all. If you don't go to jail, your friend has to go to jail for five years,

but if you both go to jail, it's two and a half years. Don't actually, don't pay hair bait before you get off on a bunch of fun stuff. Don't fucking tweet at anybody. Don't tweet at Ken Jong. This is a personal journey between you and your wallet and your jail. But if you do have a friend who is listening

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Oh, you get free registration to MaxFunCon 2018. So that's like, Hey, hell yeah. Hell yeah, so that's great. And for $100, and you also remember all of them stacked. Yeah. So at $200, you get everything before it, at $100, you're in the Inner Circle Culture Club,

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That's great. Anyway, the Culture Club is really fun, but it's also very cursed. I actually really liked this time of year because I get to see everybody sort of saying like, hey, it means a lot to see so many people say, hey, what you do means something to me. And I'm gonna show it by kicking you a few bucks.

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I was getting my Munch Squad on at McDonald's breakfast after work. When I sat down for my feast, a guy walked in the door, looked at me and said, idiot, can't even make his own pancakes, how pathetic. Don't laugh at that. I mean, it's, it's, it's a, it's a power play. It's just, it's just eating breakfast at McDonald's.

And then they sat down and ate. And the guy walked in the door, looked at them and said, idiot, can't make his own pancakes, how pathetic. And then walked back out. What is this, what is this fucking mysterious assassin? I tried to enjoy my meal, but all I could taste were rejection of tears. How could I track this guy down,

explain how restaurants work, project the image of a man who definitely understands the process of making pancakes to every stranger I encounter. And that's from Hobbs. Here's the thing. This thing this person did was wrong, but also, I think very funny maybe also,

because the alternative is you walk into a pizza and you're like, all these fucking idiots don't know how to make their own pizza. Bye. Very funny. I think a nicer, there's a nicer way of doing this. Here's the nicer, amazing way of doing this. Walk into McDonald's, see someone eating a sack of pancakes,

hand them a recipe for pancakes, and then walk out the door. That's a sweet way of doing it. You're right, Justin. This is the mid-bend way of doing it. That's a nice way of doing it. You walk in and you hand them a recipe for pancakes. It's still hilarious.

And you say, for next time. For next time, try this. Go for it. And it's fun. Hey, it's fun. I wanna be. If you do it wrong, they're crepes. It's fine.

I wanna be in the head of the person who's walking by McDonald's, see someone eatin' a Saga Flav Jacks. I was like, I gotta go in there. I gotta get them. Fuckin' double parts. I just pulled them on the lot of McDonald's. Rolls out. Victoria, just go around the block.

I'm just gonna be a sack. Oh, but you grab your business. No, you don't understand, you don't get it, you don't get it. I'm not getting anything in there. No, I think they went in wanting to buy something, and then they just had to put the signs up on it. And they have pancakes here. You can do this at home.

Okay, but what could, okay. Pancakes, I think, are very easy to make at home, and I think they probably are, I've never had rest on pancakes. Deceptively, deceptively difficult, Justin. Well, it's getting to the right pan temperature. No, come on. None of the things that McDonald's will worry about

in any way, shape, or form when they're perfect here. When they're defrosting. When they're defrosting. Now, it is undeniable that McDonald's does have dark, arcane, breakfast treats that note, like, you tell me how they make that McGrittle. Tell me how to make a McGrittle right now. With the biscuit, with the syrup nugs, like.

They have these magical crystals of syrup that somehow like. A wizard gave them, like a syrup wizard. A Canadian syrup wizard. A maple witch. That's why it was such a big deal when they did breakfast all day, because they're burning through the non-renewable resource

of syrup crystals so fast. You've run out of syrup crystals. We're running low on syrup crystals. It's called a maple witch. I, listen, I know we try to keep it nice on this show. We try to remain. This is maybe the funniest thing I've ever done. I'm really trying so hard to get a taste of what it is.

It's not funny that you got bullied, and it's not funny that this person's an ass. What's funny is the idea of walking into a restaurant, just all pre-angry, pre-angry, that people here are eating things that they could just as easily make at home. It's just so good, it's so good though. Oh, man.

Do they walk into auto body shops and they're like, change your own oil. Idiots. Idiot doesn't even know how to change it. Idiot doesn't even know how to do a triple bypass. Oh, dumb. Wow, it's just very mean, but very funny. And I don't think it's even that mean.

It's real life trolling. It's exactly what it is. Yes, yeah. Well, then I'm not, now you've ruined it. Now I'm not for it anymore. Oh no. It's just, it's just. If this happened to me, it would make my fucking week.

Oh really, it would ruin my life. I would be really bummed out. If someone did this to you. If I went to McDonald's and somebody put me on blast for eating pancakes at McDonald's, I think I'd feel probably pretty bad. Well, let's start with the big problems. One, you're eating in the McDonald's.

Which we've talked about, we've talked about like, yeah. There's some problems about eating inside the fast food establishment. Fast food restaurants are by definition a gun that shoots burgers at you. So for you to go inside the gun to retrieve the burgers from the dragon's horde is. Would this affect you less if you were like

at an IHOP girlfriend or like someplace like a fancy, IHOP's not fancy, I'm trying to think, I can't think of, there's not like a, if you went to like. If a stranger yelled at me about the food I was eating, I don't give a fuck, I don't care if I'm at, if I'm at the Jiro Dreams of Sushi restaurant and somebody kicks in the door and is like,

can't make your own sushi. I'm like, oh, my dinner's ruined. Wait, if you were at the fanciest sushi place. Jiro Dreams of Sushi. And somebody just walked in and was like, idiot can't make his own sushi. Your first reaction was like, he's right. No, my first reaction would be,

oh no, a stranger yelled at me. How are you not getting that? I don't want a stranger to yell at me for any situation in any circumstance whatsoever, so. I would like to read the question before. It's just a perfect, I think that this question has to, this probably really happened in their real life, but it's a great TV show episode.

Okay. A little while ago, I was messaged by someone on a gaming website that they lived in the same area as me and were interested in getting together to play a local game of rock band to try and beat the four hour long, endless set list of all songs in the game. I agreed, and after we settled on a time

to meet up and do this, I drove to the address he gave me. After sending my wife my location in case this was an attempt to lure me into a solve-like trap, I rang the doorbell only to discover that it was even worse. And the guy who invited me was a high school sophomore, less than half my age. To make things more awkward, his mom was also there

doing weekend cleaning and bagging in the house. I stayed and played the entire four hour session. Well, yeah. But nobody, but nobody who was there in that house acknowledged how awkward and weird this was. And when it ended, I quickly gathered my things and got away as quickly as I could. Could I have done anything to make this situation

less awkward as a man in his 30s and my just too old to be meeting up to play video games with strangers from the internet? And that's from rock band regrets in the Pacific Northwest. Rushmore. Rushmore. That's a Rushmore.

We got a real life Rushmore. You got the opportunity to mold young minds. And it's just like, you're just like paradiddle, paradiddle, like hitting those drums and like playing along to the killers or whatever the fuck's in rock band. And then you just like, look at him. You're like, boom to that.

So you dating? You know what the best character in this story is? This is the mom. Yeah. And for the mom who's just like cleaning, it's like, what's going on? What's going on? Okay.

Well, have fun. Does the goosh, does the goosh, does the goosh. Have you ever wanted to be a ward? If you ever wanted to be somebody's ward. Yeah. You can be my ward. Does the goosh, does the goosh. Honey, are you gonna be that man's ward?

Okay. That's fine. That's fine. Oh, you're playing Rush? That seems fun. Okay, bye. A worst thing has happened to me, didn't it? Oops.

I used to work at, at least we were called the Iron Twin Tribune and we had this feature called the dart and the way the dart worked is you would throw a dart at Lawrence County where we covered and you would go. You'd throw a dart at Lawrence and he would try to get out of the way of it. Hey, stop it.

Hey, stop it. Hey, what's the matter with you? So darted at Map of Lawrence County and you would go to where the dart landed and find news there. Lawrence County is not the sort of, does not have the density to support this concept but we did the dart every week

and I went to this location. It was the job everybody hated and we would all fight each other and not have to do it. And I went to the dart and I walked around this block for about a half hour before I finally found two teens sitting on their stoop and they're the only humans I'd encountered. So I said like, we guys,

You got any news? What do you guys do? What's the scoop? They were like, well, no, we're not doing anything. I was like, Could you do something? What are you about to do? And they were like, well, we're gonna go play DDR.

And I was like, okay, can I come with you? Justin. Justin. Justin Tyler. No, I want you to know, the feeling that I'm feeling right now is pride. It's surprise. No, it's pride. I'm feeling proud of the Justin approach to the beings and then invited himself along with them.

It's part of being a reporter. It's why I quit because I was so bad at it. And I was like, are your parents here? And they're like, yeah, no problem. And like, I went to their dad. I think I was like, I gave him the whole spiel. I was like, I'm just going to watch them play DDR and take a couple of pictures and then like write about it.

And he's like, okay. And so that was your headline. Did you have a headline to this fricking list? Two boys step right. Local teens play DDR as obese man watches from fucking Star Wars sheets. So I went up and sat on their bunk bed and took pictures of these teens playing DDR.

And like no one knew when there has been enough. Like I did. I can't wait for something like. I would have known had you invited me along as a sort of assistant. I would have been able to tell you this is enough. I can't wait for something newsworthy to happen. I did play DDR and it made North Korea chase their ways.

I did one on a corner where there was a sign answer for Pizza Hut and a sign answer for Domino's on opposite corners. See that that's an American, this American life episode. Yeah, that was amazing. Called the pizza wars. I got an Ohio Associated Press Award for that one.

Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, man. I was a prize winning business reporter back in the day. One last time, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for all the years of listening. Thank you to people who have donated in the past. And please, if you're not donating now or you could donate a little bit more,

we ask you to just go to maximumfund.org and click that donate button. And let's just like get it rolling. And then from now on, when you listen to Max Fun Shows, you could say, hey, I helped make that. I was part of that and I helped make that. And it would really mean a lot to us. So if you could take the time to do that,

five, 10, 20 bucks a month. Yeah, even if you can get in at five, five dollars gets you all the bonus content. And it means that you are a member and you support what we do here. And we appreciate it so much because of you, we are able to grow and do more stuff and take time off from our jobs to go make dumb TV shows

or to fly to Portland and go do live shows there. Or donate it to Fushigi Patientage. One of those two. One of those two things. One of those two equally responsible. I want to thank John Rodgerick in the long winters for this four theme song, instead of Partra off the album,

putting the days to bed. Good dude, good band, good tunes. Man, I'm good, good bruise, good bruise, good tunes. Good waves. Just good dude. And yeah, thanks to Max Fun Fun for having us. Go check out all the other shows this week. That's a fun thing to do.

If you haven't listened to any other Max Fun Shows, go try one out this week during Max Fun Drive because everybody's doing their best stuff, putting their best foot forward. Yeah, and be sure to check out the still buffering bonus episode. They did My Sister, My Sister and Me. So for their bonus episode,

they're taking advice and doing the Mabin Bam thing. So that's really fun. If you're not listening to that show, you should. Yeah, it's awesome. You want that final? Yeah. I also just want to say thank you. Yeah, thank you.

Max Fun Drive is my favorite time of the year because it really not only is it fun and exciting and we do a lot of bonus stuff and there's a lot of events and everything, but it also is a two week period where I get to remember, like be reminded that like we wouldn't be where we are. We wouldn't have a TV show if it wasn't for support. We wouldn't have the opportunities that we've had

have come down to being on Max Fun, listeners like you and support. And it just, it means the world to me. And it shows me up every time, every Max Fun Drive I just feel so lucky to be part of this network. So thank you. Here comes that final.

And it was sent in by Amelia Berger. Thank you, Amelia. It's by Yahoo! Answers User. Help me find my son. Who asks is watching AirBud on a portable DVD player in my car too intimate for a first date? My name is Joseph McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy.

I'm Griffin McRoy. He's been my brother. My brother made Kiss Me Dad square on the lips. I want to say that I want him.