My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 350: The 2018 Olympic Laser Tag Team

Episode Date: April 10, 2017

We've got over 350 hours of podcasts under our belt, which, according to Malcolm Gladwell, means we've fully mastered the craft. We're turning our attention to loftier endeavors, now: Namely, training up the greatest laser tag outfit this world has ever known. Suggested talking points: Before Transformers and the Furious, Hidden Gold, Laser CQC, Downton Bluejeans, Video Game Talent Show, Riding a Bike, The True Island Time King

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin Tyler McElroy. I'm your middlest brother, Travis Patrick McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother and 30 under 30 media luminary Griffin McElroy. Wow folks, big exciting news from Hollyweird, big thinker, big Hollywood thinker,

much like the James Cameron of our generation, Travis P. McElroy is here to speak with us. He told us that he had a new movie idea that he wanted to run past us. It's been a while. Love here in these big movie ideas because I always know what blockbusters to look forward to in the following fiscal year. Now listen, here's the thing, I want to let you all know up front, this is going to take a lot of capital to get made. This is not going to, it's going to be more expensive than Avatar, but I think when you hear it. How much was an Avatar? If I wanted to do an Avatar, how much would that run me? I think it was $100,000 Canadian. I'm not sure, but I think that's like a hundred billion American. I'm not sure what the exchange rate is, but listen to

this. It popped in my head this morning and it was like I woke up with a start and I thought, why hasn't there been a Fast and the Furious Transformers crossover movie? Oh my God, Travis, this is a bad idea. What? That's a great idea. Thank you, Justin. Thank you for getting on board with an amazing movie. How is that a terrible idea, Griffin? What do people love? They love giant robots that turn into cars. What do they love? They love the Fast and the Furious family gang that drives cars real fast. What's that you say? The robots turn into cars and then the Fast and the Furious people can drive those robots real fast? Fuck yes. Are you telling me you don't want to see Vin Diesel in a fucking exoskeleton that transformed out of a Harley into an exoskeleton

for him to fight bad Optimus Prime? Are you kidding me? First of all, Toretto, Vinnie Toretto. No, what's his fucking name? Dominic Toretto. Dominic Toretto would never ride a motorcycle. He looks at one of those and he says, well, that's half a car. And so he doesn't he doesn't do it. And I think it's because he's actually afraid of motorcycles, but he's like way too proud about it. The other thing is, if you're in the cockpit of a car when it transforms into a transformer, you'll be liquefied. And I don't want to watch all my fucking good friends get liquefied like Tokyo Drift Boy and Dominic Toretto. That is a myth. You actually enter their brain like in Pacific Rim and suddenly you're piloting that, yeah, your son, you're you are

like synced. It's you and Optimus Prime doing battle against whoever the bad guy would be. I don't know. Maybe, uh, who, I, uh, who's, who Clive Owen, maybe Clive Owen's the bad guy in this one, you know, and he's, he an Optimus, not Optimus Prime. Who's the bad one? Who's the bad one? Negatron. Yeah. Negatron. Here's the other issue is that Vin Diesel refuses to be in any movie where there is an object larger than him in it. So like from a sense of scale perspective, it's going to be tough to get these big robots fighting around while Vin Diesel is also on the screen. You'll have to make Vin Diesel bigger then. I guess so. But then that's anticlimactic because then he can just knock the other bad

robots over. Let me hit you with this. Transformers meets Fast and the Furious meets the Before Sunrise franchise. Now, what I'm seeing here is you would have, um, the, uh, uh, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke just sort of having coffee and intense conversations. Um, as like just a cut away, basically just like a cut to a building's being destroyed, pan down. I can't believe they're still going at it. Yeah, me neither. Anyway, Sunrise is just a few hours away. We better hurry. Yeah. We better hurry. Okay. Wait, Joseph, you, you, but like also, also the, if the, if the Autobots don't stop the Decepticons before sunrise or for the end. So it's like caught very much like that's how you, that they're sort of like our timekeepers for the film. Baby, you are going

to miss that plane. And then Dominic Toretto is like, not on my watch. And he grabs Ethan Hawke and he gets into the airport and he doesn't miss the plane. And then the robot punches the airplane out of the sky. Fuck, this is really good actually now that I think about it. Joseph, you've inspired me. How about this? All right. Okay. Fast and the Furious meets Transformers meets Boyhood. You fill in the movie over 20 years. You can see how robots age. And you get to watch how robots get bigger. Yeah. I think I looked at before sunrise one better. Okay. What if we do all of them together? Okay. So Boyhood is in this before sunrise movies. And it's like before sunrise and then after sunrise and then like for 12 more years after, after all of the sunrises, many, many sunrises.

And boy, this boy's just getting bigger and he's getting surlier, isn't he? Yeah. This is actually great. So take that and sell it. Just give us some, I guess, give us some of it. That sound about right? I'm not sure the technical term. You'll know in your heart what the right amount is. Yeah. But for right now, let's really get into the advice. Let's get deep in and help people. We just had a huge turnout in the Max Fun Drive and everybody really came out for us. So now I think it's time for us to come out for them. I recently found out that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for over a year, has been hiding precious metals, silver, gold around the house. He acted very strange when I asked him about it, his reason being that they are investments and to not go looking for them.

Should I be concerned? Am I dating a Ron Swanson or a treasure hoarding dragon? That's from Fool's Gold in Oklahoma City. So this is a unique... You found it, eh? I knew this day would come. Well, here's the secret. If you go hunting for my gold, I come hunting for you. This is definitely a desolation of Greg's situation. Why would you... The only reason you do this is for a doomsday prepper, right? What other possible... There is a school of thought that, not just like doomsday prepper, but if the economy tanks gold, we'll still be doing okay. It's a safe investment, some people think. I don't think they think it's safe to hide it around your house like a where's wall, though, but I don't know

exactly. I will say that as a kid who grew up reading a lot of magical realism, Indian in the cupboard, like a bridge to terabithia, your lions, your witches, and or wardrobes, that the idea... I think about this now is like, what if I hid gold coins somewhere like in a banister or something, and then when Beebe finds them in 10 years, she's like, what? And I'm like, huh? How'd that get there? And now it's like a magical mystery in our house. Maybe we have leprechauns in the house. I don't know. It's magical for her. Maybe your boyfriend's doing that for you. He wants to have a little mystery in your relationship. You know what I mean? That's not why he's definitely not doing that. I want to get in front of Travis's bad point and say he's definitely not doing this to

add mystery to your relationship. It is because... Oh, isn't he? Isn't he griffin? Because it sounds like there's some mystery. Sounds like this question asker is left with some questions. Yeah. I mean, no, I think this was not intentional. I think it's a nice side effect. Don't get me wrong. I'm curious about this relationship. And also, in Oklahoma City, you've just given me a map that I can use to triangulate and come call in, come on a fucking Diablo run of your house, and get all that sweet coins, get all those gold bars. I'm not saying I would. Oh, shit. Yeah. Griffin, you're right. This is like in Zelda when you walk out and you smash a jar and you're like, who hides their jewels in just like a jar in their barn? This person does. Greg does.

Greg hides them there. Greg hides them there. That makes you think everybody in Zelda is just like... It's just like, the hilly an economy is going to collapse. If our fucking king is a boat, I'd just like, sell your gold to me. I'm on your radio, your fantasy radio. Why would you do this, I guess, is the question I keep coming back to is why would you hide all your goldens and silvers? I feel like just, I do, I think it breaks down a little bit when you're like, I am going to be very safe and buy a bunch of gold and silver. However, I'm just going to kind of scatter them about the house like so many lost chapsticks. I just hope that I can remember where all that all of them are if needed. I guess so. I think about this like, it would be good for

me to have like, some bottles of water on hand. That's about as far as like my prep instincts go. By which, I mean, I still don't have the water, but I think like, that might be nice to have on hand. I get some water at some point. Am I so far behind the curve? Is it good to have a much gold and mini silver in your house? I guess the question, and I'm trying to come around to this. Let me tell you, let me tell you to somebody who for a long time, hosted a prepper podcast. No. Okay. Because here's the thing, in the immediate, in the immediate, like right after? Sure. But like, if we're talking a long term apocalypse, gold and silver are going to devalue very, very quickly. Whereas like, freeze dried food, yeah, rice, rice is going to be worth its

weight in gold. But like, actually, I went around my boyfriend's house and there were many carrot seeds and potato seeds all over. I was very curious and excited about this. Is my boyfriend a very bad farmer who doesn't understand how seeds do? It's better that than like a katana that he says he's going to get very good at at some point. Like this is my investment is I'm going to get good at katana. So people want to have me on their crew, I guess. I also will say, I just had this thought the other day, I'm 33 and by many definitions, an adult, I don't know how investments work. For all I know, this might be the safest form of investment. Oh, shit. Yeah, it's possible. It's very possible. Welcome to Bad Money. It's a new talk show that the three of us do and we

don't know fucking anything. So maybe get many gold and lots of silver but make sure you got a katana because you don't want one of those without the other because folks don't know. This house has much gold in it but no katanas. Let's get them. Right. How about this Yahoo? Can I give it to you? Hit me. Yahoo's got a new name again. You remember our good Altaba jokes? Yeah, Oath. It's called Oath now. So it's a neat cult they're doing with Verizon. Yahoo decided, let's get, hey, Verizon, you up. It's me, Yahoo. Want to make a cult with me? You can't quit, right? If you go in and you're like, I'd like to resign. I've got a better opportunity and they're like, my boy Tim Armstrong's like, you're revoking your oath.

You're denying your oath and then he just opens the door. Oathbreaker. We have an oathbreaker. Everybody looks up from their grindstones. No. Oh, this is an AOL. You forged the oath. AOL's doing this too, huh? Leave your ID card on the wedding stone. Just lay down on the Onyx table and we'll get your severance package all sorted out. Leave your scabbard with Valerie. This oath was sent in by Drew Campbell. Thank you, Oathbreaker, Drew Campbell. It's Yahoo Answers user. It's Oath Taker, Earl the Snort Oaths. Who's on your laser tag team? That's it. There's no additional details. Are there any answers from folks? Oh, the sickest says with the best answer, five stars, you,

which is fucking pretty solid, right? Like if you're getting on oath to ask an oath about who's on your laser tag team, it makes me assume you are an enthusiast and therefore probably have some fucking skills out there on the cyber grid. Hey, guys, who's on your laser tag team? I'm tempted to give a lazy answer, which is just like folks I'd like to meet. So like Barack Hussein Obama, a lot of people forget who Sam is important, would be a big one. Like just because it would be like an honor, you know, Joe Biden would be, it would be an honor. But would they be the best at laser tag? Joe Biden would. Joe Biden would, yes, absolutely. Joe Biden would, yes. I have no question. Joe Biden,

yeah. He would be like, listen, I've always wanted to learn how to backflip. And this is the moment I'm going to do it right now. And then he does. And then he does. He just does it over a team. How many are we talking? Let's put a limit on this. I think five, I think including you, it's five. So you'd have four additional members of, let's all work together. Let's not do individual laser tag teams. And we wouldn't, we, maybe we get five, not including us because I don't, I did it once. I played laser tag once at a place here in Austin called Blazer Tag. And they make you get really, really high before, no. And I, you want a sensible tweed coat? And I was like siphon filtering all over the fucking place, just like no scope in kids. And

then as I left the place, I realized that I was in like a mild state of cardiac arrest because of all the running and diving and shooting I'd been doing. And so I don't think I'm cut out for it. I hate it when kids don't get into it. Sometimes you're laser tagging with kids and they're like, just run up to you and shoot you. It's like, where's the action? Where's the imagination? I think that bothers me a lot. I'm assuming we're going to be playing against teens. I would like to welcome to my team, uh, Ariana Grande and whoever's big on YouTube right now. I don't actually know. Whoever's big on YouTube right now, who's not also a secret mega racist. Yeah. Yeah. Whoever's, whoever could do that for us. Ariana Grande is not secretly

uber racist, right? She's just like that donut that one time. I mean, if she was secret, we wouldn't know until it's too late. Until she's like, you're playing laser tag and she's like, take, this is for my superior race. No, no, no, no. You're off the team. You're at a party and you're like bang, bang into the, and somebody's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We don't, we don't do that anymore. We don't bang bang into the room anymore. Um, let me pick song to laser tag too though. That would be great. Let me pitch this name. Keanu Reeves. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Travis wins the contest. That fucking dude, if you've seen like his, um, like videos of him like training and like running those gun obstacle courses training

for John Wick, it's like, the dude's got it. He's a fucking got it. I absolutely must have him on the team. Wait, I'm going to wait. Hold on. I'm going to contradict myself because now I'm worried he's going to make everybody else on the team look really bad. Like it'll be like, wow, we had, you know, 20 confirmed hits. Yeah. 18 of them were John Wicks. Like between the other four of us, we hit two people because everyone we came across was already zapped out. Yeah. Another problem is that he also, um, executes a lot of what solid snake calls, uh, CQC. And so I think that if you strike, if you strike someone in the laser tag field of battle, you are asked to leave the Billy Bob's Wonderland. And so that may be an issue, but it's too good to back out from because I,

fair enough, I, I saw that video and I thought Keanu Reeves may very well be the coolest living human right now. Uh, which I, I don't think you can dull those instincts. His instinct is to shoot someone in the head and then spin around and punch someone in the face with a gun. You have to train him. I think we train that out. He'd shoot somebody in the head and you turn around and you'd be like, no, not, I can't do this anymore. I can't. Not anymore. That's three. Number four, person to do it. Sarah Michelle Geller. Okay. Sarah Michelle Geller is a, it's an interesting choice. That's a very good choice. I'll tell you why, because she's got a lot of experience navigating

TV. That's one thing. You know, she's had a, she's had a great career. It's got a lot of different interesting places. That's huge. Intimidation and cinema. I don't want to, I wanted to track. Yeah. Intimidation factor, I think is also through the roof. If I fuck him in the laser tag arena and I saw Sarah Michelle Geller coming at me with one of those cool cyber guns, I would say bye and I would leave. I would leave. I would leave after paying my money for my ticket into laser tag. I would actually leave the place without having finished the match. So scared would I be. So scared would I be. We've been watching a lot of Buffy because we have been watching just a lot of television, comfort food TV and Buffy is that for us.

And did you know, this is fun, when you are on the 20th episode of the fourth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which is like, I think late college, like in the bad lanes of the Adam Ark, when you're on episode four dot 20 of Buffy, you have 69 episodes to go before you finish it. What's up? Wow. That's so good. Thanks, Joss. Thanks, Joss. Did you also know that that whole Adam Ark was poo poo poo from a dog's butt gland? Listen, it had two moments. That season had hush too. That season had hush. Hush was the sweet reward that you had some good stuff. Tara came up on that season again. Riley, who was a great transition from Angel. Well, he was a big,

he was a good come down from Angel. He was like, oh, here's a super interesting boyfriend. And now, Riley. Okay. Here's, here's a palette cleanser and Amu's Rouge, if you will, between interestingly, love and just. If Mark Lucas wants on the show, if Mark Lucas wants to come on the show, please come on. Sure. It was just a writing thing. You are always seem very charismatic to me. Sure. Good at fighting for sure. Can I, you know what? No, we can't, we can't get put. I'm just going to put Mark Lucas on the bench. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, when he's hurt first on Lucas. Mark Lucas will be our first. Mainly because I like saying Mark Lucas. Maybe, maybe he's big on YouTube and he can fill that seat.

We need one more. Hey, my name is Mark Lucas. Here's the water bottle. I'm going to unbox some stuff. My name's Mark Lucas. I want to unbox a graphics card back at you again with another makeup tutorial. Here's how to make those lashes pop. I'm Mark. Hey, my name is Mark Lucas. Here's my candle hull. Now, time for some crinkle mania. Time for it. Hi, I'm Mark Lucas. I'm here to deliver those crinkle tickles. You crave my new answer mark series. Mark Lucas reads the phone book. Check them out. I'm going to add Mentos to a bunch of beverages and see what happens. Lemonade. Nothing. It didn't do anything. I'm Mark Lucas. Hey everybody, my name's Mark Lucas. I'm going to make a big burrito out of pizzas and cereal.

What's wrong with you, Jess? What are you watching? That hit way too close to home. We need one more and we need to, what role? We have the Intimidator. We have the two, we have Ariana Grande, who I think Ariana Grande, I think she was in the Bad Blood video. Was she in the Bad Blood video? I think she did the Bad Blood. I think she was in the Bad Blood video to some degree. I think you had to have some sort of martial arts training to be included in that video. Hello. I just got a call in and it's the best answer and it's Idris Elba is on the team. He's currently filming the Gunslinger.

So you know those skills are going to be hot. He's going to wear the outfit from the Gunslinger. He's maybe going to tell me some inside dirt about the Gunslinger. It's all I want to know. Can we have some set photos leaked or something, please? Hey, can we just get just one teaser, please? Am I going to have to wait till SDCC? That's I will, but I don't want to. Who represents the reluctant warrior, the one who's like, I can't do this, not again, right? But then like, I think Sir Michelle Geller. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's Keanu and then we pay a 12 year old to kill his dog in front of him. The 12 year old would shoot, would buffet his dog with harmless lasers.

I would love to watch Keanu react to that. No, I see he's fine. Keanu is fine. The dog would be wearing a very small laser tag vest and so it would like burst and he would have to leave the room. Eat your Selba. Eat your Selba. Eat your Selba. Arianna Grande, Keanu Reeves, Sir Michelle Geller and some non-racist YouTube superstar. And boy, that's going to be a tough needle to thread. But fuck, that's a good team, huh? Take him to the Limpos. And they're Hannibal, like they're like coaches, Joe Biden. And Joe Biden is there. He drove them all there in his mini van. He had to. He needed, he needed, he had to. Well, you had a bunch of tickets to turn in in tokens that he couldn't use anywhere else. Olympic gold medalist laser tag team. They got

those laser guns already, right? That they do the Decathlon. They have the little laser rifles or whatever that they use instead of bullet guns, right? Let's just, just turn them on each other and pew, pew, pew. I mean, eat your Selba. I got you. Here's another question. I recently ordered a couple pairs of jeans direct from Levi's and they arrived today. That's it. That's the entire question. That's, I don't know what this is. I'm good. Good. I'm glad. Um, no, there's more. Here it is. The jeans were exactly what I ordered. That's actually the end. So just a positive experience as person. Oh, no way. Oh, no, this is just a Levi's Yelp review. Yeah. But there was also a brand new, complete DVD box set of all six seasons of down nappy. All right. Nice. Um,

this is not unwelcome because I love the show, but I didn't order it. And also you can't order DVDs from Levi's.com. Am I good? That's from non plus in Nevada. Um, a little, you actually didn't realize that this is part of a new exciting cross-promotional, sort of ad campaign that's going on right now where they are doing a seven season down nappy and all the characters are wearing just the most well fitting, just luscious blue jeans you've ever seen on any TV show. It's a bit anachronistic and it kind of goes against the whole like tone of the show, but it's like Wellesley, help me dress. And then an older man helps a still pretty old man put on some very nice jeans. I'll tell you guys exactly what happened here.

Some bumbling, you know, just clumsy Levi's warehouse worker has shown up to their aunt's birthday party empty handed. They stopped by the Sun Coast on their way to work to take up a birthday present for their aunt. And now they're left box set less. I see. So they were, and they had to make a stop by the, the, the blue jeans factory still carrying their box set with them. And they were standing over the denim vat and they were, oh no. And they dropped the box set into the denim vat, which then printed out the blue jeans and the DVDs were just made it in the box. Exactly. I just, I mean, I'm assuming that this happened in like a fulfillment center, right? This has happened in a place that fulfills Levi's orders and down Abbey orders.

But I do have a problem with like, you look in a box, there's jeans in the box. Is this one for the Okay, yeah, just go ahead and maybe, I don't know. I'm very busy. We have a lot of a lot of jeans to get rid of today. I do also want to point out origin story. I know you're wondering. Yes. John Cougar Mellencamp did fall the Joker style into the denim vat. And that is, that is his cruel origin. If he had fallen into the box set DVD of down Abbey vat right next to it, he would have had a completely different, yeah, completely different arc. A proper bloke. It's me, John Cougar Mellencamp, a proper bloke. I gone down to Abbey. Does this little titty about Lord Grantham and Lady Grantham? That's him. Rhymes. Does this person owe a call to Levi's.com? Yes, you stole their

DVDs. Definitely should call them. I mean, you should have won. This might be the golden ticket. Like you won. You get to go on a tour of the denim factory with a idiosyncratic leader of the company who's going to, well, here's the thing. Gonna kill four kids. And that's just, that's not negotiable. Billy Tonka. But they're gonna be, it's Billy Tonka, the leader of Levi's. I know you would think Levi would be in his name somewhere, but no. No. And anyway, four kids will suffer a horrible fate, but you'll learn a lot about morality or whatever. And all the jeans you can eat. I feel like you have to call if only because Levi's owes you an explanation for how this could happen. Like you are on the edge of like a serial style mystery here that you could

unravel and then get back to us and just like, call Levi's. Don't let him off the hook until you understand how Downton Abbey all six seasons in a complete DVD box set arrived it with your jeans. You deserve an answer. That can't be cheap, right? We're talking at least a hundred dollar box set. It depends on the deals. You know, that's true. It's by DVDs anymore. I think those DVDs are subsidized by the, by the MacArthur Foundation or something like that. So I think they're not actually that expensive. Pretty, as somebody who's been trying to scale back their material possessions and clutter, I would actually be pretty bummed about somebody sending me a huge DVD box set at this point. Like I really, I do not have a shelf space card,

you know what I mean? Call them back and ask if you can trade it in for that. So I got the Downton love it. Don't want to be ungrateful, but I would like a gift card in place of this item. I'm now thinking of in the Levi's blue jeans factory, what the equivalent room of the room where Willy Wonka saying pure imagination would be like, where just everything is made out of blue jeans and denim. Everything is wearable. You can wear any to see that flower, put it on. How about a Yahoo? Yeah, sure. This one was sent in by Brooks Oglesby. Thank you, Brooks. It's Yahoo Answers user, oath user. Sorry, something's gone wrong. This would, this is good. This would be a good like parlance. We can just say

when something has gone wrong, they are an oath breaker who has left the service before their watch has ended. This oath breaker asks, could I play video games for the school talent show? I just answered a question on here, reminding me to ask this. I have hardly any talents, but I'm a video game expert. When I start a game, I always begin on expert and usually end it. My school has this huge TV thing, I think. Could I simply hook up my Xbox 360 and play on the big screen thing so everyone sees as my talent? Like as a first person shooter or something, do you think they'll let me? It is like one of my only talents that I can possibly do. All right. The short answer is I would lose my

fucking mind if I was still in high school and somebody was like, what's up? My name is Derek and here's some of my no scopes. And then he gets up there and does his thing. That would be, I would watch that and be absolutely thrilled. Just no pressure or anything. But if you tell people, this is worth watching. You can watch this. I feel like it's a bit, you cannot fuck up at all. This game is called Call of Duty. Modern Warfare 2. I'm going to play around, search and destroy. All right, nerd. And then like fucking 30 seconds and you're like, oh my God, he's doing it. He's not really doing it. Here's the thing, I was all prepared to make jokes about this. And then I remember like, there are people who are like super famous for doing this. Oh,

yeah, sure, sure, sure. But maybe not among their high school peers. I don't know. Nowadays? Did you guys ever participate in a high school talent show? Please tell me now if you did. High school? No. No, not that elementary school for sure. I just started all the school plays. I didn't need to do a talent show. I co-hosted my high school talent show. This is not a bit. Either my junior or senior year with a gentleman named Richard. And Richard was the school magician. Wait, hold on. He was designated as such? He was the kid who like, I know my thing, it's going to be magic. And so he would always be doing like little card tricks at the lunch in the lunch room. And so me and Richard hosted the talent show one year and fucking people were

eating out of our hands up on that stage. Right. And this is horrible. A young woman got up there to play a piano song that was really lovely. And I think she ended up coming in like second place for the competition. And I want to just hit this very hard that people very much enjoyed her set. But as we intro'd her, our thing was like, wouldn't it be funny if we got up there and did a magic trick? So we went up there and he did this very long winded magic trick because behind the curtain they had to set up like her piano and they had to clear off the last thing. And the magic trick was very long winded and had very many steps of me picking the car and then going out and showing a few people in the audience the car, you know, really fucking work and I'm

getting a mean at my hand. And then we got up there and said, all right, time for the magic trick to end. And he just threw all the cards up in the air and that was it. And we like walked off the stage. It's like a joke. Like, ha, ha, fuck you guys. Very like, you know, transgressive comedy. And the audience was booing very loud as the curtain opened for this, for this young woman to play her music song. And she, I'll say this, it was a hostile room. We created a hostile environment. She won them back. And it was a story of redemption. But oh my god, did I feel absolutely awful? Because I, like as soon as we did it, I walked on the stage like, oh, that was a bad idea. We created a not good workspace here, I think. Griffin, Griffin, I actually thought that was

going to go a different direction. I thought you're going to say that the magic trick was Richard made her piano disappear, leaving her completely unable to perform her song. Now you tell me how that trick would have gone down. It probably would have gone down really well if he had been able to pull it off. I guess that's true. I would, I want to watch this kid play video games now. I do want to see him play video games. There is a very, there's a very thin, like there's a tightrope that he could pull this off. And if he did, but isn't this true? Think about it. Anybody who gets up, if they're like, my talent,

I'm going to shred on the electric guitar. Like you have to be good. You can't just like get up and kind of like pick out some like chords. Or if you got up and you're like, I'm going to play piano and you only know like heart and soul. Like no, you, if you get up there, you're inherently saying I am very confident in my ability to do this in an entertaining way. So like, I don't know if this kid's confident enough to get up there and play some video games. Yeah, I'd like to see that. And it also depends on the game because I don't know that it would be so psyched to just like watch somebody do very well while playing Call of Duty. But if you heard like, all right, here comes Jeff and he's going to play some video games and you're like, whatever.

And then the curtains parted and there were four DDR machines standing side by side by side. And he was like, what's up? My name is Jeff. I'm going to do paranoia survivor max on four machines at once. Here I go. And he like, does the damn thing. I might lose my fucking mind. Yeah, that would be, I think the musical element is huge. I, I, because I worry that the perform, like even if it's sick, the performance aspect of it is not going to be great. Like you're not going to, people aren't going to know what's cool unless every few minutes you look back at them like, right, dig it. That kind of thing. Yeah. Oh, that's what you do. You, you turn the TV so the audience can't see it. And you just look at it. I mean, just occasionally say, I'm doing a great job.

This is just keep giving score updates from time to time. Hey, fellas, let's take a break real quick, because we have a little bit of pressing business to, to, to seek out in the money zone. Follow me. Our first sponsor this week is zip recruiter, which sounds like a nerdy guy's name, but it is. It's a business. Sorry. I thought it sounded like some kind of cool adventurer. Hey, my name is zip recruiter. Are you hiring? Do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates? I don't accept later on in the copy I find out. Hang in there with me. Join us. Well, you with, with zip recruiter.com. There it is. You can post your job to 200 plus job sites, including social media networks like Facebook, Twitter, all with a single click.

Find candidates in any city or industry nationwide. It's such a pain hiring people. It's absolute pits. And if you could make it even a little bit easier, you would want to do it, but once you can make it a lot a bit easier that, and that's not the tagline of zip recruiter.com. No, it's not at all. I'm assuming soon that that'll be their thing. Now their tagline is zip it up. No, it's not that either. I don't think zip these zip these recruits. That's not it. Hire everybody. No, that's not it either. You're taking on commerce. Oh, everybody gets a job at zip recruiter.com right now. No bigots are in the pool. My listeners can post jobs on zip recruiter for free by going to zip recruiter.com slash

my brother. That's zip recruiter.com slash my brother. You try for free, make hiring easier, but what's what's not to like? Nothing. That's what zip recruiter.com slash my brother. Zip it up. Zip that thing. Zip that nasty thing. It's me zip recruiter. And this is my official tagline zip that nasty thing. I want to talk about Harry's now. Can I? Yes. It's the razor company. And they do it a little bit differently than your big box razor company. They shout the hair off your face. They yell at your face so hard the hair just goes screaming away. No, here's their thing. What if razors didn't cost $40 for half of one rusty old razor? Think about it. It's a novel idea. Basically, these two guys, Jeff and Andy,

they didn't like paying all of that money for bad razors. And so they started Harry's to fix shaving by taking less profit and selling directly to you over the internet. And by doing that, they can offer their blades at half the price, just $2 a blade compared to the $4 or more you'll pay at the drugstore. And they're still confident you'll love their blades. They're giving you their trial set for free if you just cover $3 shipping. That trial set includes a weighted ergonomic razor handle, five precision engineered blades with a lubricating strip and trimmer blade, rich lathering shave gel, and a travel blade cover. That's a $13 value for you to just try. So don't mess around. Get started shaving with Harry's today by claiming your free trial offer.

That's the $13 value for free if you just cover shipping. To get your free trial set, including a razor handle, five blade cartridge, and shave gel, go to harrys.com slash my brother right now. That's harrys.com slash my brother. I have a jumbo charm message for Patrick from Charlotte. If the macros had never broken down the lyrics to pony, we probably wouldn't be together now. That's insane. Thank you for taking me to candlelight, seeing Carly Ray with me and spending so much zoo time with the red pandas. You're my person, my favorite human, my best friend, and the only one I want to sing Disney songs with. Let's do this.

What a lucky couple to have seen Carly Ray Jepsen in concert live. You go to church like that, and you leave different change. Metamorphosized. How do you, fellows, think us breaking down the lyrics of pony got two humans together? I don't want to be ribbled here, but I mean, they're very erotically charged lyrics, and we read them in a way that was maybe sensual to some folks. Yeah, I'm not going to yuck in the yums, but if you found that sensual, that's fine. Do you think two people... It seems like these two did. Two people listening independently on different ends of a bar

to us discuss very ribble, both made eye contact at the same time, and just mouthpony question mark, and they just nodded, and from that point forward, they were inseparable. I think that's the most likely situation, yeah. I feel like if I had to guess, and I'm completely, completely guessing, but I feel like that this probably started out as a joke, and then at some point, one of the two parties started saying the lyrics a lot more sincerely, until at one point, someone looked directly in the other person's eyes and said, hey, no, but seriously, if you're horny, yeah, let's do it.

Write it. My pony. My saddle's waiting. Juice is flowing down your thigh. Okay, this next message... That's a lyric, and not a lyric of the side pony. I know it is, Griffin. It just don't like to hear you say it in a declarative manner. In a defamatory manner. There are juices running down your thigh.

I'm peeping your steelo. All right. What could that mean? What could peeping your steel... I'm peeping your steelix. It looks like you evolved in onyx while I was holding the metal coat. Interesting. Okay, Urban Dictionary says it's slang for your style or your aura. Ew, I like it.

I like it. I love that. And by the way, I'm sorry, all apologies to Genuine for skipping the best line in the song that came before that. Because as a as a couplet, they really worked together better. Sitting here flossing, peeping your steelo. I mean, it's like, yeah. And it's intimate, and it's fun.

It's flirty. It's like I'm in the bathroom just flossing, and I look in the mirror and I'm like, look at her, look at it, look. You're just flossing. You lean back, look through the doorway, and just check your steelo. And you're like, nice. There she is. Nice steelo.

I got a message for Zoe Kinski. That's right. The one, the only Zoe Kinski from Jake Scott, Aldo, Steve and Naldi. It says, happy birthday, Zoe, from all of us in the bubblegum tigers. You're a big jerk, but you're our big jerk. Thanks for the years of friendship you've given us. And here's to many more. Good luck reaching the top of that ladder.

But for today, keep riding high. That's for Zoe Kinski from Jake Scott, Aldo, Steve and Naldi. I think you're at the top. I mean, you're at the top of the ladder, right? You're at the top of the ladder. Yeah, that's why Zoe's riding high now. And maybe that's a disappointment, right? Like when you've reached, when there are no more rungs to conquer, Zoe wept.

Maybe there's another, maybe there's like a hang glider situation she can like hop onto or whatever. That could be fun. I'll think about it. We'll take it to the, we'll take it to the writer's room. This is a new segment on my brother, my brother and me that I'm working on. And right now in this moment as you're talking. That's nice.

Look, people see behind the curtain to the unfinished business we have. I want to workshop it a little bit. Pardon our mess. Sorry, so sloppy. And this, this one is, this segment's called tab and out. Okay. And here's how it works. I, Justin McElroy, tell you, the listener and you, my brothers,

exactly what tabs I have open currently while we're recording. So I have three tabs open currently that are not the show notes. One is a Google search for the lyrics to pony. Excellent. Yeah. Two is the Wikipedia page about before sunset, because I couldn't remember Julie Delpy's name. Oh, Justin.

And the third one is a search on Levi's.com for the term DVD that did, that did return four pairs of non-DVD related jeans. Oh, wow. These jeans are big enough to hold the entire box set of doubt and abbey. You're going to love these formats. You're going to love these. Yeah, for sure. Y'all got any tabs?

Just mostly pictures of Mark Blukas, really, if I'm being honest. I just have my email and a bunch of ASMR videos I'm going to watch after this. So I have, I have quote, quote, Mark Blukas, end quote, minus quote, shirt, end quote. Mark Blukas, set shirt to no to all Mark Blukas plus horse minus Mark Blukas. Mark Blukas shirt equals false. Mark Blukas minus shirt plus smile equals yes. You know, I'm getting a lot of, getting a lot of Blukas, but he's shirted in all of them. So damn it.

Try different boolean. My name is Patrick. My name is Parker. Max Funcon has been a huge inspiration in my life. Now I have this network of friends that I've made and literally across the entire globe. And they're some of my favorite people in the world. I truly cannot believe the amount of wonderful and lasting friendships that have come out of this. If you feel like you might not fit in as long as you're a good person,

you'll fit in because everyone there is good and amazing and kind and wonderful. And you should absolutely go. It will be the best decision of your life. Make a ton of new friends like Parker and Patrick at Max Funcon. Tickets for Max Funcon and Max Funcon East are on sale now at maxfuncon.com. The weather is starting to be nice around here, which means doing stuff outdoors. There's one part of my outdoor repertoire that's sadly missing. I never learned how to ride a bike.

I'm 30, uh, uh, as a 33 year old. How do I do that? I mean, the obvious answer is just to hop up and do it. But it's not like they sell adult bikes with trading wheels. And that's from Pining to Petal in Pittsburgh. Oh my. This is a really, really good question. It's a good question.

I bought a bike last year because I live in Austin, like everybody bikes. And so I was like, I can do this. I need to close Mark Lucas's official website, by the way. He's got a store. Never mind. Does he have any music auto playing when you open it up? He's got a music section. Anyway, um, and so I went and I like bought a bike and I went to the bike shop

and found a bike I really like. I was like, hell yeah. And he's like, do you want to try it out? And I was like, yeah, sure. And I went in the parking lot and got on and I was like, Hey, wait a minute. It's been like 15 years since I've done this. I'm going to fall over and a bus is going to hit me.

And it's going to be really embarrassing and deadly. Um, and so like, I'm, I'm right there with you because I don't know. There's a way to get out of this with your girlfriend. I do want to know the rest of that, um, when you tried it out in the parking lot and realized you were going to die. Did you then turn to the salesperson and say, Oh, one second. And thought, no, I was like, I'll take it. I'll ride it around in small concentric circles in my empty garage.

Um, no, I, uh, I, I just did it and it was very fucking wobbly. And I looked like, and I looked like, I mean, I looked like a fucking toddler learning to ride a bike again because it literally had been half my life since I'd been on a bike, bike cycle. Um, there are, there are a couple of big problems with this. The first off is a big part of learning to ride a bike is falling. And when you're young, you can just fall like you just fall and it's fine. And when you're 33 years old and fall, it's not fine.

It's, I mean, well, it's hysterical for starters, but it's also very dangerous because you're going to be there. You have a lot longer to go and your bones are older. So it's not a good idea to just fall repeatedly. The other problem is if a kid is riding their bike on the sidewalk, that's adorable. If an adult is riding their bike on the sidewalk is it, it's a crime. Yeah. Especially riding it poorly.

Yeah. Yeah. That's where I bailed actually on bike riding is I got to an age where people were like, go ride in the street. And that I had to look at them like where the cars are. Do you know how fast they go? Do you want me to go as fast as a car? You gave them that.

You gave them that Dominic Toretto, but it's only two wheels. It's only two wheels. Doesn't make sense. That doesn't even count. Can't do it. Here's the thing. Here's the thing, question asker. And maybe this will be a little controversial.

But I think that the reason kids learn to ride bikes is because at the time, it is the only vehicle, it is the best vehicle option open to them. As an adult, you can drive a car with the windows down. No, bikes are great. Bikes are good and they're good for the environment and they're good for you and they're fun to ride around on. Yes, Gryffindor. But my point being, if you haven't learned how to ride one up to this point,

like you can go your whole life. You can go. I'm not saying it's too late. I'm saying you could go your whole life. St. Peter is not going to meet you at the pearly gates. Like, so never learned how to ride a bike, huh? Go to hell. Like, it just isn't going to happen.

That's defeatist. I'm just saying it's going to be harder than if you had learned as a child. That's all I'm saying. Here's how would you? Here's how you learn. Here's how you learn to ride a bike when you're a little kid. And there's this moment you have. Riding a bike is so weird because it's one of the very few things in life where just like,

once you do it right the first time, you do it right every time after that. It's like, once you realize like, oh, if I just go, it's fine. If I just like keep pedaling and moving forward, like, it'll hold me up and it'll be good. And so this is me, Gryffindor McElroy, giving you a 100% guarantee. If you get on that bike and you just start pedaling really fast, you'll be, you'll be okay. You're not the top of a high hill. Commit yourself to it. No, don't, don't peanuts this person.

No, you're 33 years old. You've got a lot more control over your body at this point. That's the one thing is your limbs and stuff. You are fully, you know how to work those things. Don't be afraid to do it. I'm going to go back to what I said and stay and buy it with the car thing, because when you're a little kid and you fall over on your bike, it's frustrating, but you have no other option left available to you.

I'm saying I am 33. If I had never learned how to ride a bike the first time I fell over, I'm like, well, fuck this. I'm going to get in the thing with four wheels now and doors. Can you take an app? I stand by my point. You're bad point. I stand by it.

Out a classified ad for a dad. A classified ad. Oh my God. Just hear me out. A dad of any age or a mom. Our dad handled the teaching in our family, but get taken out out for a dad and say, hey, I need a dad to just hold it until I'm ready and then let go before I'm ready.

Phrasing, phrasing, phrasing. Okay. We'll put the word bike in there to keep the mystery. I need a dad to hold it till I'm ready. Oh, good. I'll do this. Fuck it. This is my new project.

I'm going to teach folks how to ride a bike. It's not a big deal. Let me grab the back of that seat and go. You did it. Yeah. Don't just keep doing it. Yeah. You did it.

Put this in your earbuds and go get on your bike, but don't be in the street because you need to be able to hear the sounds that cars make when you're biking in front of them and just like listen to this right now. All right. Pedal. Yeah. Yeah. Keep going.

Keep going. Don't stop. You're not going to fall over. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. All right.

You did it. You're biking. That's it. Just like that. Griffin's one half disc seminar on biking. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Let's put the money where the mouth is. It's I'm sensing a conflict between Griffin, my brother and Travis, my brother. Here is, here is what I'm suggesting. Griffin, FaceTime this person. When they're about ready to start learning how to ride a bike, you give them 30 minutes with you. 30 minutes.

I don't have 30 minutes. I can do maybe two. 15 minutes. You only need two with me because it's just like get on the bike and pedal. Don't stop. Go. All right. You did it.

I've been Griffin. Bye. Well, you do that. Well, you give this person five minutes of your time, Skyping, video Griffin in your pocket just to encourage you. And teaching them how to ride a bike. And telling them how to ride a bike. Yes.

Absolutely. Okay. Get it Griffin. Hit me up. And then when you fall over and you're ready to quit, let me know. Yeah. Call Travis. And I'll Skype with you and be like, it's totally cool.

Go get a car. And then. And I've got a toddler, so I've really got to manage my own time. I'm sorry. I wish you the very best, but this is about all I can spare you. You have to get into a bike race with Justin's toddler. And whoever wins gets to run the old summer camp. Whoever wins gets Justin.

Yeah. How about a Yahoo real quick? Yeah. I think we can work one in. I've got one about, listen, I'll be honest. I'll tell you, I got two. I got one. Wait, wait, just very quick.

I just have to say blue KSMR out loud, because I should have said it earlier. Oh, like blue KSMR, blue KSMR channel. Blue KSMR, blue KSMR. TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM. You can't TM Mark Blukas starting. Can't do it. Can't Blukas. TM is Blukas.

Can't do it. Okay, fine. I TM my Blukas. I have one. Blue KSMR. Okay. I got two questions here. One of them is about, it does reference Jimmy Buffett.

And the other one references Austin Powers. Like, which one are you, which well do you guys feel like going to? Alternate word for word. No. Don't do this to me. I'll read them both. One is from Oathbreaker Kyle Fleming. Thank you, Kyle.

It's from Oathbreaker Slocklin0931 who asks, is Jack Sparrow a better island icon than Jimmy Buffett? The other one was sent by level 9000 Oathbreaker Drew Davenport by Oathbreaker Furkay who says, where can I find Austin Powers type decorating ideas for a yacht? Ty, I'll think of it. I'm with the first one. I think that's just because you want to talk a lot about Jimmy Buffett.

As always. I'll work Austin Powers in there. All right. Yeah. We'll come around to Austin Powers. We'll answer both with one thing. So let me say this first off, because it's not been made abundantly clear.

My wife is the one who turned me on Jimmy Buffett. Don't, don't, don't. Now listen, tweet at my wife and tell her you know that. Everyone, everyone, tweet at Sydney and tell her that she liked Jimmy Buffett first. So she will get off my back about it. Okay. That's the first thing.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. She liked you both at first. Tweet it, tweet at my wife. So there's Austin, there's the Austin Powers show. Well, no. That's Borat moving on. The best island icon is James Buffett. And you asked me why?

Well, I have a good answer for you. J.B., when he's on an island, he's not trying to get back off that island as soon as humanly possible. And that does seem to be the M.O. of Mr. Jack Sparrow. J.B. learned how to fly a plane. So if he wasn't on an island, he had one within reach, theoretically speaking,

at all times, able to get back to an island when necessary. Let me ask you a question, Justin. Two questions. Question one, what are Mr. Buffett's feelings on rum and it being gone? Okay. What's your second question? The second question is, is he at all related to sailors?

Has he ever done any sailing? Well, okay. Here's the answer to your first question is, there is a margaritaville rum. So I bet he feels sad about it. He would not feel good about that because he made rum himself, margaritavillerum.com. Just go catch the spirit by which I mean rum.

So J.B. made a dark rum. And what was your second question? Is he related to sailors in any way? Does he know how to sail? Does Jimmy Buffett, what are you talking about? Because here's the thing. Jack Sparrow, listen, he's kind of bumbley but he always seems to know what he's doing.

But when it comes to boatsmanship. Oh my God. Jack Sparrow, he's a deft hand out of the wheel. Would you say he's the son of a sailor? He probably is. Travis Patrick McElroy? I know he's at least the son of one sailor, one generation. I have to start reading these answers

because there's a hundred of them and each one is a beautiful diamond that God made in heaven. I'm just going to read them without reading the names because again, there are so many that I need to get through. Duh, Captain Jack Sparrow, he is way finer. Jack Sparrow, more people know him. Yup, Jack Sparrow is hot. I love Jack Sparrow.

Who's the other dude? It's a near tie, but I would say that Jack Sparrow nearly beats out Jimmy Buffett. If only Jack would sing about rum, then he'd be a winner for sure. He definitely did in most of the movies. Although I love Jack Sparrow, Jimmy Buffett is the original Margaritaville king.

All right, one notch there for Jimmy Buffett. And then the best answer maybe of all time, and if they shut Oath down tomorrow, please let this be its swan song. David E. one decade ago says, it doesn't take 10 years ago, it says one decade ago. Says, the sea plane ship sailing Margarita and rum, pot smoking, book writing, musician, party animal,

and leader of the parrot heads, of course. Jack Sparrow is a poser. Hell, Jack can't even get any P word that refers to a vagina. Let alone he doesn't use dope, which we've seen in Deadwood of the Wild West. Why wouldn't pirates use it? Oh, it's a Disney film. Jimmy is the party, while Jack is just for himself.

Who's the better icon? Okay, I want to say that my favorite part about this is, had this not been a Disney movie, there would have been so many scenes of Jack Sparrow just getting fucking lit. It is already implied that basically any time Jack Sparrow hobes out of frame, he is smoking marijuana. If you do not see him at that moment,

in that scene, in full frame, he is smoking marijuana. Yep, even if you can see him, but his back is to you. He is holding a tasty rip. Oh, man. Jack Sparrow is just for himself. Jimmy is the party. The only people who make a lot of fan art related to our family of products,

the only one I'm interested in anymore is pictures. Just pictures of Jimmy Buffett and Jack Sparrow hanging out. Just shaking hands, coming together. Just living that island lifestyle. I mean, let's put it this way, guys. If you're going to hang out on an island for an afternoon with one of these characters, and I do say that, I'm sure that James Buffett in his private life

isn't quite as island obsessed as Jimmy Buffett, the performer and songwriter and restaurateur, which one would you rather hang out with? Because I think this person is right, that Jimmy Buffett would want to, like you would roll up and Jimmy would be like, hey, good news. The shrimp are about ready to come off the grill.

Sit down. Let me get you a corona or maybe a tequila from the Margaritaville line that would be more up your alley. Jack Sparrow would just be trying to steal your identity. The entire time. That's a good point. That is fair. You never know where you stand with Jack Sparrow.

I guarantee like you trust Jimmy Buffett right away, because I doubt he has the energy to lie to you. It's just like, yep, I'm here for myself. Like, cool, Jimmy Buffett. Thank you for being very upfront with me. Jimmy Buffett has probably thrown two 20,000 boat-based parties in his awesome, amazing life. And in none of them has anybody ever been marooned,

and that's all I'm going to say. There it is. Who would you want to stand side by side with in a battle against like evil skeletal pirates? Uh, Jimmy Buffett. Jimmy Buffett, all right. Jimmy Buffett. Do you know why?

You got any others? Jimmy Buffett has a lot of money, and he lives nowadays, so he could probably buy like a big machine gun. And just rip him the fuck up in a cloud of bullets. Here's what I want. Here's what I want. Here's what I want. I want Fanheart of James Buffett and Jack Sparrow

standing together both in skeletal form. They've taken some doubloons out of the chest, and they're both holding the balloons. They're both skeletons, and you can see the giant clouds of weed in their chest cavities. Fuck yeah, dude. Through, and maybe it's kind of seeping through their ribs, and they're both just like high-fiving and holding up coins.

Some small kiosk t-shirt spray painter just had a chill go up their spine. Folks, that's going to do it for us. Thank you so much for listening. We hope you've had a good time. Thank you. Thank you. A million times thank you for your support

during the Maximum Fun Drive. It was amazing, and it was record-breaking, and we owe it all to you, our beloved listeners. So thank you for that, for supporting us, and all the Maxfun shows so heartily. We really can't thank you enough, and it really means the world to us. So thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. As long as we're thanking people, can I thank John Rodgerick in the long winters for the use of our theme song, it's a departure off the album Putting the Days to Bed? You can. Dang, dude.

Thanks a bunch. I saw somebody on the Facebook group post that they thought this whole time in the 300... Oh my god, this episode 350. Y'all. Damn it. We did it. I want to finish the thought,

but they thought that this whole time I'd been saying that the song was a departure off the album Putting the Days to Bed, and that the term departure was like some hip lingo for like a track off the LP. But that's beside the point. 350. We called the shot, I think in like the first 10 episodes

of this podcast, that episode 350, we would have Keenan and Cal on. Ladies and gentlemen. Yandily, welcome to the Keenan and Cal. Didn't get it together, but maybe in 700. Quick thank yous for people sending stuff to the PO box. Andrea sent a beautiful Christmas garrel. Thank you.

Rick and Katie sent Guy Fieri Chip Clips that I use actively every day. Shelby sent a lovely note and picture. Kalen for D&D stickers. Teresa sent some coffee. Diana sent me some preparation. H, thank you very much. And Matt sent a charcuterie board that says 20 Riventine on it.

Oh, I got one of those as well. That he's probably displayed in my home. Yeah. Well, I thanked him so you can piss off. I also want to say go check out all the other amazing shows on MaximumFun.org. There's a ton on there that we're big fans of them all. And if you're interested in checking out the other

Macaroy based shows and YouTube channels and Twitters and PO boxes and all that stuff, macaroyshows.com is your one stop shop. You all want that final Yahoo? Yes. Heck yeah. This was sent in by Kate Davis. Thank you, Kate Davis.

It's Yahoo Answers User. They're anonymous, but they said I had a dream. That Mike Pence kissed my forehead. Is that bad? My name is Justin Macaroy. I'm Travis Macaroy. I'm Griffin Macaroy. This has been my brother, my brother, me.

Kiss your dad. Square on the lips. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.