My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 363: Breathing in Space

Episode Date: July 18, 2017

We've got that San Diego Comic-Con fever! And ... it's a real, real bad case. We've got the Spider-Man Shakes, and Batman Sweats, and have to cancel the rest of our public appearances, just to try and keep this thing contained. Suggested talking points: Cosplay Corner, Panini Poppin' Daddies, Adult Happy Meals, A Hilarious Bit About Starbucks Prices, Buzz & Lance, Gym Etiquette, Tim's Bad Donut

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody and welcome to my brother, my brother mean advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother and 30 under 30 media luminary group of McElroy. I'm gonna say my name so. I just like if you string my name together it sounds like Travis McElroy.

Oh that's fun. Yeah right. Are you boys excited to go to... Which is what I just sort of like because I'm so familiar with it I call San Diego Comic-Con on the 2017 edition. Are you boys all hyped up for the comic, that new comic smell? Excelsior. Excelsior is what I always know. Did you know that every Comic-Con attendee in their visit will get a complimentary Stanley cameo. All right. You gotta keep your eyes peeled but he will maybe he'll be the one serving you chicken tenders in the conference center. Maybe he'll be your driver, your Uber. I may be awake up and he'll be standing over you in your hotel room. If you see an old man and you wonder who are you talking to that is probably Stanley because I gotta wonder people in the Marvel movies like

who is that old man talking to? I've always got my head on a swift looking for Stanley. Are you... What do you think Stanley's last name is? No one knows and that's what makes him such an exciting artist. So I want to make sure we don't all dress up as the same action hero and so I was hoping we just have to take some time here for our cosplay corner which is the segment we... Man we haven't done cosplay corner in a while huh? Yeah. I was just wondering who you boys are gonna do. I got mine all planned out this year. Okay. The cape but Jesus Christ. So I am going as the cape which you may remember from the series The Cape but this is gonna be confusing and I'm still sort of struggling with how to communicate this vis-à-vis my dress. I've

got 10 episodes of sort of like material to work with. Not much. Not a lot. Not much. A lot of time you want to rich your cannon so you can sneak a lot of Easter eggs into your garb but I don't think they had time to really develop those to nurture and incubate those eggs. So the thing is that I'm cosplaying as the cape from the cape. Not the cape, the character, but the cape's cape called the cape. So we're just gonna be... Little KC. Right. The cape from the cape. The cancel TV series. How's that grab you all? Oh it grabs me so good just like the cape didn't. I have a really exciting one and it's taken a really long time and I've spent, boys, thousands of tens of dollars. I'm gonna be I think just Zachary Quinto. Nice. Okay. Not in, not as a Star Trek

Spock or as a heroes guy but just Zachary Quinto and I don't know if a lot of people, do folks do that typically? Like hi, I'm Will Wheaton and people are like oh it's so excited. Wait a minute. They're like no you don't understand that. No. I just am him. A big good year for your Elijah Wood cosplay girlfriend. Yeah I mean every year's a good year for my Elijah Wood cosplay Justin. It's my life. I'm gonna go. Do you think Zachary Quinto walks around as Spocky or is just like ah na na na na right idiot. That would be my entire comic comic experience. Anybody got any cats I can eat because that wasn't him. That wasn't Spock who did it. It was Alf who did that. Thanks for the money. I'm going, my cosplay this year is I'm gonna go as Superman but I'm going

as Superman like right in the middle of changing from Clark Kent to Superman so I'm out of my Clark Kent clothes but I haven't yet gotten into my Superman outfit yet. I think if you cosplay as Superman why these things used to just be asked to leave. Like yeah we get it. Yeah Superman is cool we get it. It is the equivalent of dressing up as a ghost on Halloween just because it's like oh oh okay. What if I'm just super naked? Well yeah yeah. Hey are we gonna cosplay at we're gonna be. Oh let me be clear I'm gonna shave my chest hair into the S. Now we're talking. Okay so it'll be and my bush. Now we're talking about something real upsetting. So we are actually gonna be, I should mention now while I'm thinking about it, we're gonna be at Comic-Con.

When is it? Saturday. Well we're gonna be there like you know all the days but Saturday at noon we are going to be at the first second booth representing the adventure zone so. Are we gonna cosplay for that? Are we? Should we cosplay? Yeah probably. Fun. I mean we will have done a live adventure zone the night before so y'all will definitely have your your costume. It will smell of show funk so that'll be nice. If you cosplay be sure to come and like if you see us walking around I don't want any of this like I saw you guys but I didn't want to bother you. If your dress is a character from the adventure zone you come say hi let us get a picture with you. Or not? I mean like if you want to say hi just say hi. Just say hi there's no rules just right.

No rules here. Have you been to San Diego Comic-Con before? I have I went last year. Okay is it just be straight with me? You know me and my proclivities, my special, my sort of whole thing. Is it just gonna be a full blown pedal to the metal McGee's shit show? Like is that what I'm anticipating here? No no no no no. No? No it's going to be a medium pedal to the metal shit show but not full blown. How many times am I going to run into Nathan Fillion in the bathroom? Because I know it's going I know oh that's too many. Why are you both going to the bathroom? That's because he just stays in the bathroom. Hey do you need a mint towel? What do you need? I don't work here. That's a good both you did real good Nathan Fillion. Should we do oh we should also say right

here at the top we're also going to be on at midnight oh fuck the 24th July 24th don't ask when it's on you'll look like an asshole yeah but check it out watch us the three of us competing brother against brother it's the civil war of late night comedy shows we don't really write jokes or do jokes ever so that should be a fun experience yeah please enjoy all of us trying to look comfortable as we appear on national television can I hit you guys with this I was this is a true story before we get to our advice segment of the of the show the ever dwindling advice segment I was watching episodes of at midnight and pausing after mr. Hardwick gave the prompt to see if I could come up with a joke oh man isn't that sad so here's so here's the one I'm going to give you

guys the prompt okay and you have to come up with your own jokes and I'll tell you what my joke is to buy you some time okay real real quick though I do I did just say oh man not because of this segment you're doing but because I just had to confront the fact that you are going to call him mr. Hardwick while I'm in the room with you and it's gonna be bad for me now Chrissy boy is what he insists on okay um okay so the prompt was what uh pitbull if he ran for governor of florida what would his campaign slogan be and here's who you have to beat in this lineup was howie mandel david cockner and I forget but howie mandel was the main one that I like I give I would I would I would the sun sue said the first secret to war is to not get in it with a combatant who you

could never hope to beat and so I I concede of course okay so you that is gonna be your sort of play because the best I could do is I know you want me as governor as governor and that's it and that sucks I'm gonna be so bad on tv memory heart this is the third person me as governor yeah right picture that with a kodak so we're gonna be really comma comma but I would like to be governor please is it you can can can Chris will Chris sue us like people have been trying to get you on this show for a long time and you did you stank it the fuck up and so I I need the show got cancelled because of how bad you did lots of people lost their jobs and so we need 10 million dollars by by next Tuesday here was my joke pit bulls running for governor of Florida what's his

campaign slogan I promise to personally eat every mosquito in the state dammit all right jesson now now okay 15 minutes is about what it's lengthy edits all right um you can carry us through this television experience let's do some advice yeah I'm I'm happy to just get in there and just do the damn thing you guys ready yeah are you sure you're ready sorry I'm looking for the question you did not have the email ready I work from home and one of the restaurants I go to for lunch has a guest of the month leaderboard with names and tally marks behind the register I go here at least twice a week I have the rewards card and they know my order without me having to give it to them but I'm not even on the leader

board what do I have to do that's from inconsolable in Irvine ah man you got to step it up you got to step up your game you got to be like that dude in super size when you ate a billion big macs and just get in there and and and it can this be the only restaurant you eat at what's this meal you always get is it perhaps a salad with all the major food groups in it but it sort of um covers the whole pyramid because if so you just go there and you order that for every single meal all of a sudden you can rack up 21 a week and that's gonna get you there uh could you maybe a maybe you need to make more of an impression maybe a fun outfit maybe as maybe as they you could be the zoot suit panini king and you just every time you come in you're like hey mama it's

like guy or girl doesn't matter hey mama i'm ready for my panini and then you do a spin around and then when they hand it to you it'll be really hot or maybe it's not and you take a bite and you're like smoking yeah you say i've burned myself you know a lot of people uh look down on and and remember poorly the 90s swing fascination but i think the zoot suit panini kings had a lot of hits and people just don't just don't appreciate the work that they did the groundwork they laid you know it's it's a shame that their bold style and vision was completely lifted wholesale by the panini poppin daddies yeah that led to the it led to the swing turf wars of 1999 and we lost a lot of good trump bonus a lot of really good uh sky musicians just kidding it was just i was saying

get that roasted red pepper on there check to make sure there's no hair throw that thing on the little grill who's your daddy yes i there's another part of so right there's like who'll be your dad you just change the the tense who's your daddy yes i will there you go okay that's not even good um here's the thing what you've got now which is nice is like you have a leaderboard so you need to find that person who's number one and learn from them train from them what Travis is suggesting is you um you draft on them to use racing terminology so you just follow them and when they go to the Panera bread you swing in there and you order double what they eat yeah you gotta eat all of it or else it doesn't count

maybe some ink what does that mean just get some ink like the like just get a tattoo that's like number one fan of the panini spot that's gotta get you on the board at least right i i don't like that but it's of the month just as the problem so you get that once that's maybe june what do you do for like july and august you know i mean just keep getting the same tattoo over and over again that's crazy just i was saying i don't like how that affects the healthy spirit of competition that this place is trying to foster right like if fucking you know Peyton Manning gets a i love the Super Bowl tattoo i don't think they should let him just be in the Super Bowl because of that i think i want to go on record and say i think that's wrong

so we gotta be looking we're probably talking let's say we're looking at a top 10 list here okay you gotta assume you're probably 11 you're in there all the time uh so maybe you pick somebody on the list and uh august is just around the corner maybe uh maybe they're not gonna make it in this time maybe they uh had a little accident and uh maybe they uh maybe they uh maybe they decided to uh get uh paninis at another establishment yeah maybe they're eating paninis with the fishes now maybe because they went to that seafood restaurant maybe they're splitting uh splitting a panini with old saint pete hey maybe they're having some men paninis our popular option but we're bringing it back just for you the panini spot fans the submit

beat the heat this summer with a cement cement lose those last few lbs get your beach body right right try eating eating this rocks eating rocks um do you do this is why yahoo sure wait what here's yahoo from sally he tricked us in the same where doofuses oh it's from uh seth carlson thank you says yahoo is who's use your sally who says what would become of mcdonald's if they were just serving happy meals with characters of family guy and south park for an older audience wait what whoa what would happen what would become of mcdonald's if they were just serving happy meals uh with characters from family guy and south park for an older audience i i just want to say uh and we'll get to the uh actual meat of the question i love when people use

what would become or what has become as a phrase it just sounds so like makes you sound like gandalf yeah well um i want to go to mcdonald's and order a you know burger meal and fries and still get that excitement that i used to get when i would get you know a little beyblade and but i've i listen it's i've put behind me my childish things now i want family guy and south park toys that are that way i the irreverent south park humor and i love that and yeah you know i love that but i i would be so excited to pull you know a little quagmire out of my food out of my meal and i think that would be really really and maybe has a little button on you press him and he says all of his fun jokes from the show wait are the is it the

is it the toys i thought the box art on the happy meal would be it's a happy meal without a toy in it and now this is why i did call you a doofus before we started but that would be good for adults because like as adults we know that there's not always a prize you know what i mean sometimes you just do it because you have to because you're supposed to and if you do it and expect a reward right millennials right expecting a reward every time sure and you don't always get the trophy sometimes you just do it because you have to do it because you have to pay your stupid electricity bill because there's a lot of electricity you can't power your nintendo switch maybe the electricity bill is in the it's got family guy in cellpark on the box and you know you know it's for adults

and so you crack it open and it's not that little joke burger that they serve to kids it's you know a big one of their weird fucked up artisanal burgers with like frizzled onions and that delicious mcdonald's guacamole on it but then you could you dig inside and there's maybe there's even a little bag a little plastic bag and it feels like there's a toy in it and it does have you know peter and lois and everyone on it and you tear it open and it is your electricity bill or your gas bill in there maybe you maybe there's a little plastic bag in there you open it up and wait it's your car keys didn't you just have the you look up who just served you it's chris angel that's right you've just been mind-freaked he's got your keys out of your pocket and somehow got

them into the toy bag in the mcdonald's so we basically covered the big three of adulthood a reverent humor bills chris angel chris angel i don't need the good thing about the toy the usual thing about the toy is it's a good way to convince your kids to eat their chicken grillers and apple slices i don't need extra motivation right to eat the mcdonald's that i'm not allowed to eat uh by the way mcdonald's if you're listening some sort of bean-centric product would be definitely hugely appreciated to those of us meet justin halfway here with well bean product justin i feel like you're selling the toy short because it's also a good way to convince our dad in the nineties that they might be worth something someday and so he needs to collect a shit ton of

them um and then eventually i assume throw them away that yeah that already happened okay they remember the drawer in the tv room uh when we got destroyed the tv room oh yeah yeah that that drawer existed um yeah that's a good point though i don't have a bunch of room for you know a shitty little cartman in my in my home now um and so maybe you crack open the box and it's got all my favorite adult characters on it and then i get the little plastic cartman out of it and he just sort of sits there as some sort of weird lunch totem as i as i enjoy my bad burger and then somebody comes and they say are you done sir and i say yes and then they throw this toy away for me so i do not i don't have to bring it into my house what if the toy was made of jordan allman's

maybe just a nice palate cleanser the toy is just a ferrero roche chocolate has anyone ever eaten jordan allman's that were not given to them as a wedding favor probably about it really think really think about it the answer is no when's mcdonald's gonna just start serving booze you know what i mean now on cowards i want my booze i want my fucking eric cartman toy to be thrown away for me and i want my guacamole burger with frizzle of onions this is this we can't get into this i'm surprised we have not had a munch squad about about mcdonald's sort of chipotle turn here uh here in the 11th hour i just it's it boggles the mine you all want fancy shit from us right it's like they've it's like they discovered the necronomicon

and it's like you guys are dabbling in forces ad i absolutely do not trust you with guacamole that's not a mcdonald's that's not a mcdonald's unfortunately uh this is not a munch squad but i did uh i want i just want to point out i just googled ronald mcdonald because i was like where is that guy have you guys seen ronald mcdonald for a while he had a minute haven't have you it's been a minute right so here's the deal uh in 2016 do you remember he was kind of tripped out about clowns for for a minute there was like oh did they did they pull him back a little bit they're quote mindful of the current climate around clown signings in communities and being thoughtful in respect to ronald mcdonald's participation in community events for the time being

so uh your plan to make um ronald mcdonald less terrifying is to put him in the hole put him in solitary for a few years we want to be absolutely clear here ronald's still there and he's everywhere but you won't see him anymore so yeah enjoy can i enjoy this can i share something i just found on the ronald mcdonald wikipedia yeah everybody always talks about the you know the oh interesting fact willard scott played the original ronald mcdonald that's very very interesting um back to back 1975 to 1984 and then 1984 to 1991 ronald mcdonald was portrayed by someone named king moody all right followed by squire fredell excellent and i assure me i assume squire fredell worked for king moody as his squire this had to be like this was back to back king moody

followed by squire fredell yeah followed by page johnson right like king moody king moody was fucking ronald mcdonald for nine years yeah and i just took it away because he took his took his crown um how about another question uh that sounds good to me um man king moody was also our man from uncle bonanza bob newheart show chips dragnet as ronald as ronald mcdonald there's a lot of product placement in those shows um okay so here we go um okay i just also wanted to let you know that ronald mcdonald king moody robert king moody is this is his full name is the dad of uh uh uh william moody better known as paul bearer are you shitting me holy shit out are you fucking me with me right now with this star studded star studded family the other day

i bought some gum from starbucks once my coffee was gone i realized i that i had left the pack of gum back at starbucks on the counter i didn't have a receipt and also it would be embarrassing to go back just for a pack of gum do you i guess you didn't want gum that bad huh do you think it's okay for me to just take one next time i'm there or would that be considered stealing and that's from bad breath because i've forgotten gum um this is this is one of those rare and wonderful circumstances where stealing is better than the alternative we're just taking a thing is better than the alternative because the alternative is high i bought this last time but i didn't get it so i'm gonna get it this time and then i feel like you'll be immediately arrested for that if

you steal and you get caught you'll be arrested right um sort of john valjean style like i need this gum for my family they they breath is it stinks real bad they love xylitol yeah so um i think i think i think you just gotta pocket this one and i'm good i think it's fine because you paid last time and then if you get caught you can explain the situation morally it's fine yes that will be a tough excuse to you won't get caught you can't get caught come on really if you get caught you deserve whatever you get this is an easy steal um we're not as hardcore into stealing as we were in episodes we're all parents now and i don't think we can have the the hard line on shoplifting which

is pro uh that we had i got you know i got my i got my bad bust and so i'm out of the lifting well you got a bad bust i didn't yeah yeah creating creating barrel uh yeah where you get crates or barrels they both i tried to shop up to create a barrel at the same time yeah it was bad it was it was i tried to explain because they got me out of the door because i was carrying a big box made of wood and a big barrel made of wood and it was really heavy and so i was struggling making a lot of noise a clamber and i dropped the barrel and that made a lot of noise and then they got me at the door and they were like what are you what the fuck they said actually what the fuck do you think you're doing which i don't think you're allowed to cuss and i did send a letter to

the crate and bear barrel hq try and get that person removed but yeah i said i said i brought these here to get them serviced because i thought this was like a crate and a barrel like repair shop sure and i was turned away and so i'm just taking them um and they said oh go right ahead and then i walked out of the door and the barrel exploded it was full of c4 it's like a security measure so the barrel exploded and so that's how they that's how they got me could you could you steal your pack of gum back one piece at a time now i'm in now you have my you have my curiosity and now you have the rest of the quote from the movie uh could you just slip a piece out of a packet and pop it in your mouth and you get your gum and you didn't take a whole pack that's

that's not even stealing if you think about it one piece of gum here's the thing jesson you're going to need a rita hayworth poster to cover up the gum yourself your body body and the gum and like a tiny gum pickaxe at a comic-con this year i'm cosplaying as a rita hayworth poster i wear it and then like during one of the live shows you'll be like christians been quiet for a while and then you move the poster and i will i will have slipped out from behind the chair i'll be swimming through two miles of shit yeah last last time i went to starbucks i did the drive-thru and on the there's like a little metal shelf for you to put your card on and stuff outside the drive-thru window on the metal shelf there was a basket that had in it stuff

like gum and the rice crispy treats and maybe a nice biscuit would you assume that those were complimentary they were on a shelf outside like you would have they're not cooling a pie out there i assumed they were complimentary yeah like when stores put the books outside of the front the ones they want you to steal right exactly i thought that was for stealing and um like i didn't try it but they they confirmed for me that those were purchasable goods they're just trying to establish another you know point of sale there they're trying to establish a fucking bait car is what it is right like starbucks maybe has their head on a pretty major swivel for theft i i guess what i'm saying is that so gets him up in the morning is busting innocent people for

stealing um you could pretend you thought they were complimentary if you get caught oh god that's so good you guys sell coffee i just thought this was part of the deal oh is this not for everyone so you just took a banana well yeah you're fucking starbucks why you have produce you try to make seven dollars for a coffee oh yeah and now and now we can now let's get into it because why are they charging so much for this dang coffee at starbucks it's a rich rain we've unearthed i can't believe we're the first ones to finally make it to talk it good for you about how much starbucks costs and what's the deal with their christmas cups yeah go for it traf not my not in my backyard don't don't don't crack open the door to your skewed perspective and then not throw that bad boy

and then let me look inside i'm i might i might have used the wrong um tone of voice because i honestly was asking what it what is the deal with it i see people talking about it huh yeah but an issue didn't really what it really is it yeah if you go in there right now you can't find a single one okay coward yeah war on christmas and right war the war on christmas in july they they're not satisfied by their one war they want a war on two fronts in two months what about summer jesus you know what i mean when was summer jesus born do you think there would be a bigger conflict this christmas if their cups is said we fucking love jesus the one true lord and savior who came to earth as a baby of virgin birth we're fucking crazy about him and if you don't believe him you're

gonna go to hell starbucks fuckers where you saw the one pair of footprints on the beach that was summer jesus that was that's where he hangs out he's always there getting beautiful getting beautiful tan learning how to boogie board to folks who need it should we go to the money zone so we don't have to keep fucking stealing gum from starbucks and then maybe travis will stop complaining about the prices let's do it i would like to tell you about square space um square space is an incredibly intuitive uh website design platform that you don't need any special knowledge to use you don't need any kind of special training you can start today um and and i get like this is not a joke no exaggeration within the hour you could have a website up and running

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it's on time out um because i did start to get basically daily emails i don't know if this is a coordinated attack from people who just wanted to talk about um for and not so much talk about but just sort of like yell at me about uh just sort of yell it yell the subject at me um so that one is on time out but they do let you put up a contact page that will get force spammed and square space provides award-winning 24 seven support um they have a unique domain experience it's fully transparent easy to set up and you can do a free trial right now with 10 off your first purchase uh by visiting square space dot com slash my brother that's square space dot com slash my brother uh i want to tell you all about blue apron because i fucking love blue apron we've

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just go to blue apron dot com slash my brother one more time that's blue apron dot com slash my brother uh we got some jumbo tron messages here i'd love to to share with y'all uh first is from one of the guys who brought you the true tiles Kickstarter comes heroes horde dot com that's h-e-r-o-s-h-o-a-r-d dot com uh head to heroes horde to buy beautifully rendered 3d tiles terrain and scenery for your tabletop and role playing game built by a lifelong d-n-d player these files let you pair old school gaming with new school tech buy and print the files you need arrange some tiles i think it's probably supposed to be tiles what did i say files it does say files in the copy but i think it's supposed to be tiles well you could understand

my confusion but oh yeah no just it says files don't get me wrong i'm not correcting you i'm correcting the copy i think it's tiles buy and print the tiles or files whatever you want you can arrange them any way you like to astound and confound your players build the layout of your dreams with heroes horde dot com can you spell one more time because this both of those words could be spelled different h-e-r-o-s-h-o-a-r-d dot com that was beautiful that jingle was free don't don't add us about jingles anymore jingles are back uh here's another personal message this one's for kory danels and it's from jacob rich who says read in garfield at the oswar lock voice we're not dancing monkeys are we going to fuck or what griffin is griffin is i'm really glad

griffin used the voice because if we hadn't that would have been just upsetting to just hear out of griffin and like a flat yeah let me give you let me give you an alternative uh i think the first take was good and i think that's the one we're gonna go with but um are we gonna fuck or what thanks for being an awesome friend and mentor and getting me a job love your buddy jacob or perhaps love your buddy jacob love him love him dammit we have one more jumbotron this is for christin this is from steve happy new year or post valentine's day day or world rat day or canada day or birthday or thanksgiving or candle nights depending on when the macro is read this love you bunches i love that 94 of this message was spent dragging us for how bad we are not a good

use of your hundred dollars i think it's a pretty good use because i feel very small right now and you did and you did that following the news is hard and it sucks how do you know which stories are important which sources do you trust in this post truth world of reactionary journalism i'm bread black and i'm travis macaroy and we host a podcast called trends like these we cover trending news stories we debunk misleading clickbait headlines and we always try to throw in a little bit of good news in our quest for truth so join us every week on maximum fun dot org or wherever podcasts are found i mean here's a i mean here's one here's a yahoo and this one is sent by kevin budnick thank you kevin it's yahoo answers user david who asks when was it proven that you can't

breathe in space no additional details huh i like this idea buzz and lance hop off the the spaceship step on that man and buzz just like immediately it's like er crack and like takes off the helmet and he's like all right let's look oh no oh oh oh oh shoot hey he puts it back on real quick and he's like lance don't it's weird you can't you know how normal you can well you can't i couldn't i put i popped it off because and this is gonna be i just realized how uncomfortable this is gonna be the whole time lance griffin are you saying lance armstrong i am aren't i but lance armstrong did say he did oh me foe show i got up there loved it crazy about it took my helmet off i was fine i was

fine i don't know why all these other these other guys can't and that's how they got him i biked up to the moon people like yeah yep yep yep makes sense makes sense and he's like got up there popped off my stupid helmet because i wanted to really relax and unwind up there and have a just like a lunar chill sash and then uh i breathed just normal and they're like wait a minute lance jacuzes jacuzes i can't believe i fucked that up it did prove it though because everybody this is a fun fiction that i've just spun and it's an also a fun fiction to say that neil armstrong did it but my question for all these space types who've got their head in the clouds is has anybody ever really tried it has anybody ever really tried it and how do we

know that it didn't yeah maybe this is like a flat earth situation well no god please god don't equate it to that please don't put that on everyone's just like the earth is flat the earth is flat but until you test it is what i see i see i see because we just assumed we just certainly looked up at space and we said that seems hard to breathe in and we all nodded at each other and that was it you know that's as far as we went you know like who's ever stood in a vacuum because here's the thing maybe you got in a vacuum for a second and you're like hard to breathe but what you didn't count on was rapid evolution like when you pick up a fish and you throw it on land and suddenly starts walking around because it has to it's got to and that's what survival of the fittest

is is like you either fit or you don't you know what i mean like you gotta get fit like like um slim good bodies head you gotta get fit or die during all of his talks about evolution yeah rapid evolution rapid evolution x-men style evolution i want to i want to get elon on the horn and just say send me up crack my visor for a minute and see because there's a lot of scientific method says you generate a theory and then you there's a control group and that can be you know one of y'all and you can keep your fucking helmet on because i guess you don't like to live on the edge and also we're trying to prove a scientific hypothesis and then i'll crack it for a second try to get a few good deep lungfuls and maybe it happens maybe it doesn't i'm just saying if we

could all breathe up there i think we'd be i think we'd be up there already well i mean look at this way like i can't breathe underwater but fish can you know what i mean so like the idea of like the way i breathe is the way everything breathes like hey it's a shitty way of thinking yeah right like i'm not going to i'm not going to limit i'm not going to be that oxygen focused you know i'm gonna say that maybe there's other ways of breathing out there and and i like maybe the way i breathe is right for me but it might not be right for some you know i say make a plan and god laughs maybe a planning that you will be able to maybe you won't maybe you should just go to space and see how it goes you know when god when god closed the door he opens a window and you're

sucked out into the into that infinite inky vacuum it's like my tattoo says just breathe you know just peculiar travel suggestions or dancing lessons from god and so if i say to you go up to space check it out you might like it that's basically god speaking through me whoa visa via kurt vonnegut into you visa v dancing lessons yeah from god through me so maybe just go up there and fucking see how it goes you know yeah explore like my other tattoo says charis has got a lot of words on him well i've got memento disease you know the lord works in mysterious ways and but most of the time through justin how about another question god made manifest on earth it's weird about that weird but it's true and real i have just started

regularly going to the gym and i have a problem i don't really know when to leave once i've done a bit of biking and pushed some heavy things up and down i inevitably end up looking like a lost scared child who doesn't know whether to stay and lift more or just walk out i feel the buff eyes of my peers judging my indecision how can i know when it's time to pack my gym bag and run away and that's from indecisive in LA and i have a pretty easy answer for this one oh if you can lift more you must you when you're at the gym you have to leave take it from me when you're at the gym you have to leave it all on the tarp that they presumably spread out for the sweat oh they got to right i've never been to one but they please tell me there's a tarp sometimes it's just old

newspaper oh what else do they do with all their humors that fall out yeah during during exertion oh man i hope there's a tarp i hear a lot about leg day so is it leg day did you do that then you should be okay if you didn't do it for leg day get back in there and uh leg day like do you even lift like my other tattoo says jesus tribe you gotta stop with these you gotta and i i know i tried to talk you out of that 60 point pika uh but you you just had to go for it mm-hmm right across my butt cheeks what you're suggesting justin is that you just go until you're a stain on the bench well that's i think a true gem rat will tell you that you have to stay in the gym until you're asked to leave by the gym staff not because you're being disruptive

or a problem but because they're worried about you because it's like hey you've been here for three days you need to go home see your family maybe you can loudly announce as you're leaving like they're out of weights i use them all up yeah everybody i lifted them and lifted them directly into my mouth i gained their strength that's 20 more pounds of punching power that this is what you do because i this is the thing that people do sometimes uh where they're like lifting and they're grunting and then they just like drop the weights on the ground and this is very disruptive because it's like uh there are people usually a floor underneath you just trying to run on the tread will and watch judge judy and like you drop the weights and make them feel like the world

is collapsing it's not good so instead gently set the weights down and then just stand up straight look surprised like you just realized this fact and yell i'm done and walk out the front door yeah that's pretty good you should probably also loudly announce an excuse that will placate everyone in the gym that is monitoring your movement so as you're leaving you scoop your bag over your shoulder say hey guys sorry my nana needs a ride and then like put on your sunglasses and look over your other shoulder be like nana problems you wouldn't understand and then go out the door you put on your sunglasses then you put on your nana after you put on your sunglasses runner home yoda style and that's that's also going to get you sick gains that's going to get

you sick nana gains and that's important you got to get them everywhere you can um what's the gym i think it's planet fitness where if you do grunt and drop the weights they actually like kick you out because they try to create like a you know a a jerk-free environment that makes me i think it's planet hollywood i think it's planet hollywood you go and you crash you destroy some you know shorts and egg or onion rings and then you start pumping um now i think it's playing a fitness and that makes me never want to go into a plant fitness because i imagine if i go and i do try to lift one of those big wonderful bars there would be a considerable amount of grunting and probably some dropping involved and then the the whole exercise will be

you know cut off before it really gets before it really gets going like i can't i have a don't worry about them they have a chart that's like is the grunt like oh i did it where is it like a uh as you fall down and if it's that second one you're good unless you've been injured um and then they will have several burly people carry you out i just imagine there's a lot of people doing spinning and yoglottis and stuff like that how i would um it would be very distracting for them the sort of sounds and visuals that i would produce uh with one of those big wonderful bars just a lot of like oh this is an interesting fact that i learned uh i read it on uh today i learned on reddit uh no one's ever died in a plant fitness because if you start to die they just carry you

outside past the parking lot and set you down um oh yeah so like in in all the wait no i'm thinking of disney sorry i uh sorry run that back i mean for me the gym is the most wonderful place on earth so i call it my magic kingdom well thank god what horses i want a munch squad i want to munch squad thank you to jack for submitting this one uh this is big news limited time gotta get in there and get it uh canada's birthday 150th the you're gonna eat canada the sesquicentennial was uh on july 1st and he was celebrating while why canadian original tim hortons now what are they doing in canada i don't know but they're forcing

canadian culture down the gulf the waiting mall of america with some special items now one is maple tim bits they're bite-sized maple flavored donut holes so you can get some of those if you want hey no uh tim tim you can't sell a menu item called tim's bits tim timothy tim you can't sell your bits tim there is i don't donut holes just empty space uh come on down to griffin's pizza zone and eat griffin's nuts all right griffin all right you can't though if you're sure uh i why don't they call them donut fillers right because the hole's already in the donut oof like i'm gonna i'm gonna take this one i'm gonna edit it right in after your starbucks price discovery if i dug dirt out of a hole i wouldn't point at the dirt and say that's the dirt that's

the hole no the hole is the empty spot i made can i just get to my fucking thing yeah the maple bacon ice cap that's a frozen coffee drink top with whipped cream maple flakes and bacon you with me so far because we're about to take don't make me complicit in this i don't want bacon floating around in my shit like boba bubbles or whatever we're about to take a heart pivot here as we stop on by the poutine donut this is a honey dipped donut with potato wedges gravy and cheese curds for $1.49 so you know how poutine's a thing yeah you know how donuts are a thing and you know how tim hortons thinks america's a piece of shit apparently they're gonna just put the poutine on the donut and then you pay them $1.49 and then you eat it and i bet it's dope it's only available

for the month of july and what who is perpetrating this well let's check in with flip i think it's atheid the evp of tim hortons us at tim hortons restaurants we're proud of our canadian heritage that's why you're putting it on a donut sorry that's me and we want to share a piece of that in the united states our new canadian inspired treats are a great way for americans to get in on the 150th celebration of their friendly neighbor next door do you really think that that's an acceptable way of observing the sesquicentennial the sesquicentennial of one of those is right go for just edit around it yeah of of canada is eating a gravy and french fry covered donut my do you think that if you see a canadian later you're like hey i got in on that celebration

with you i ate the donut with gravy here's here's a sad thing i know though trustin is like we discuss it and in theory it's very troubling but there will be people many people myself perhaps included that would see it and kind of sigh and be like well i guess i have to eat that now yeah it's that fucking double down response of just like ah fuck i mean i have to okay fine fuck um i have a i have a logistical question yeah how do they get the potato wedges on a donut because right now i'm sort of envisioning sort of like a like the crown of the witch king of angmar situation of them just like pointing up like dangerous spires i am looking at a picture of it on a plate which is hysterical it will never be on a plate you may as well hand it to me over

the counter into my mouth and it looks like it's just been dolloped on top with all the like forethought that the creation of this dish would imply i mean it's a it's a nightmare also i should mention in the press release on this uh it's uh sorry this is a new story from the street it says um poutine originated in quebec and is typically french fries with cheese curds and gravy on top tim hortons appears to be taking a leap of faith by putting this 1950s dish on a donut is it a leap of faith or is it pure unmitigated spite for their garbage neighbors to the south because that's what it feels like to me i feel like i've lost some measure of faith after finding out that this um is extant i would fuck it up though damn it yeah yeah damn it damn

these fuck it up damn it you win again canada why do i love food pranks so much why do i always fall for them always fall for the stunt so uh folks that is our show for for this week uh we hope you've enjoyed yourselves uh wanted to let you know or we mentioned we're going to be at uh comic con so that's uh cool we hope to see you there if you're coming out to those shows uh specifically the mobim bam show on saturday uh please email us your questions uh mbmbam at maximumfund.org and put san diego question you know in the subject line so we know uh where you're coming from i need lots of yahoo's also if you can please send me some yahoo's i would really appreciate it thank you thank you uh we also uh just put up pre-orders for our new graphic

novel uh the adventure zone based on the first arc of our other podcast the adventure zone uh the adventure zone here there'll be gerblins is available for pre-order right now and we would love it if you would help help us out by getting over there and uh pre-ordering that you can go to theadventurezonecomic.com and uh pre-order it there and that would just be the best and thank you to everybody who already pre-ordered it we were the fucking number one book on amazon which is the most wild fact that has ever existed in the world um i want to say like i don't know that we ever really talk about adventure zone that much on this show but um we're in the finale now i think there's probably like two or three episodes left and we're gonna

be wrapping up um if you haven't listened to it i don't know how much of a like vin diagram i'm talking to right now people who listen to this show and have not listened to adventure zone i'm like so proud of what it has turned into and i would encourage everybody to go and give it a shot it starts out with us just like kind of playing dnd and not understanding the rules and has turned into like um something that is like the creative endeavor that i am most proud of of like anything in my whole life so um please please go give it a listen if you if you yeah you got like a month to catch up before the finale um and it's probably gonna be popping off uh on a major way so don't let yourself be spoiled just get over and listen to all of the adventure zone

there's an episode 1.5 that's like a shorter version of our pilot um that travis put together that is like an easier way to onboard so um and then around like episode five or six is where it sort of takes off into its own thing so uh yeah go go give it a listen thank you to john rodrick in the long winters for the use of our theme song it's a departure off the album putting the days to bed um go check that one out also thank you to maximum fun for having us there's a bunch of great free shows on maximumfun.org that you should go listen to shows like uh stop podcasting yourself and dead pilot society and tights and fights and one bad mother and a bunch of great stuff and if you want to hear more stuff that we do you can go to macaroyshows.com all of our

podcasts and videos that we do at Polygon uh are right there great and uh we have one more question to sort of ruminate on in the coming week griffin if you would be so kind yeah sure this one is sent by brooks oglesby thank you brooks it's yahoo answers user heather howl asks did nostradamus really write something about gangam style getting a billion hits why do you think it's just a macaroy i'm travis macaroy i'm griffin macaroy this has been my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported mugs shirts stickers patches tanks and more are yours for the purchasing at maxfunstore.com hey you already love the

podcasts so why not take this to the next level and outfit your home and bod with our merch maxfunstore.com because if you have to wear a shirt it should be one of ours