My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 374: Respect the Journey

Episode Date: October 3, 2017

We're back after nearly a month of not recording new episodes, and boy, do we only kind of remember how this thing works. If memory serves, it's mostly just a fancast of Marc Cohn's "Walking in Memphis," right? Right?! Suggested talking points: PJ Masks, Brush On The Go, Kissing Scenes, Boss Mugging, Standing Still in Memphis, Griffin's Occupation, Dipping Posters, Cereal from Heaven

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the modern era, as if we never left. It's your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. It's your middlest brother and responsible homeowner, Travis McElroy. It's your sweet baby brother and 30 under 30 media luminary girlfriend McElroy,

and I do just need to point out that we did leave for like a month. We left for a grip. So long as we've gone without recording on my brother, my brother, and me since April 2010, when the show launched, I believe. And there are a lot of reasons for that. Travis is now a proud homeowner, and I'm very excited about that. I had diarrhea for like two weeks. And I died on the Oregon Trail, and Justin's just been exploring his body. I finally got my middle school body, and I'm exploring all the different hair I have now. Just so everybody knows, as we're doing more live shows and stuff, our plan will not be the situation going forward. It will not be that we'll just dump them all at once. We didn't

hope to keep some of this in the coffers, just life. It was literally a bad situation for us. Just a bad situation. So we're here. We're here with you now. I wanted to tell some exciting news this past weekend at the Charleston, West Virginia's Clay Center for Performing Arts. I saw PJ Masks live stage show. Is PJ Masks live in concert? Is PJ Masks one person? Good question. I don't know anything about what you're saying. PJ Masks is a superhero team. This is a show on Disney Junior. PJ Masks is a superhero team of three kids. Catboy, there's Gecko, and there's Owlette. And they are regular kids who, in the nighttime, transform into superheroes via their magical pajamas. Okay. So this teaches kids like,

don't go to sleep party all night. You get superpowers. Go out and fight crime. Don't worry about going to sleep, little baby. Get on out there. Now, Justin, this is all new to me. This is a very important question I have. These kids, when they fight crime, is the crime like we lost the basketball? Where is it? Or is it like somebody's been kidnapped and we gotta go beat up some bad guys? And follow up question. Do they have a sort of self-imposed Batman-esque moral code where they do not kill the bad guys? Good question. They only punch and beat them up very badly, but the PJ Masks kids never kill. How many people do they hang off the sides of buildings? Important question all. So PJ Masks, you two have hit upon, I think, the most interesting

parts of bringing PJ Masks live to the stage. They do kill. They do kill. They don't actually usually do anything. The PJ Masks have superheroes, but of course, there's never any punching, right? When you bring this, this is a show where the episodes, of course, are like any kid's show. They're like, you know, 11 minutes long. 45 seconds long. Yeah. It's like 11 minutes long. This fucking show kicked off at 3 p.m. and they can't do anything. They can't do anything. They can't do anything. They can't fight. Their costumes have, it's like 20-somethings playing the kids, but their costumes have these large, misshapen heads to replicate the experience of being a, them being kids, I guess, to give them that kid look. And they can't do, like,

there's no pyrotechnics. There's no flying, obviously. So Alette just sort of like runs around with her wings. And the, like, literally half the things in this show were her flapping her wings so hard that she blew bad people off the stage. Gekko, who has super strength, as near as I can tell, only uses super strength to strike things from the stage that no longer needed to be in the action. Gekko was wearing a black turtleneck and black slacks and was he maybe just the stage manager. And he did lock the brakes and came back smelling like cigarettes. Gekko, there's another one of the sticky splats and he would pick it up and he would throw it stage right just to keep the show. We just have to keep the action moving.

And well, he couldn't do more than that. He's union. The three villains, like, claimed to playground for their own. And the PJ Masks were, like, not down with that. And then the villains decided that they should team up for once. Thank you for finally realizing that. And their first order of business was to steal the PJ Masks headquarters, which seems like a pretty big ass for your first crime. It's a good crime. Yeah, it's a really good crime. Anyway, they can't attack each other. Literally, they can't. And there's no, like, things moving on the stage because it's a pretty simple touring production. So it's literally just kids like running around and flapping wings and then throwing things off the stage. It got to be 350. And there was a

magnificent battle, by which I mean Catboy ran around in circles and all that flapped her wings at people and Gekko struck the stage. Climactic battle between the three. And then the lights went down and a voice said, All right, kids, we're going to take a 20 minute intermission and then we'll be back. Are you? How could there be more? They were tearing chairs in half. They were ripping nameplates. I'm sorry, Mr. Dr. Robert Lingen, who bought this chair. Gave his life for this theater. A beam fell on him. We love him. A kid is just eating the carpet. They run us. This motherfucker was literally an hour and 45 minutes long. This show barely maintains its narrative momentum for 11 minutes. And you're going to stretch this shit over an hour

and 45 minutes long. The last how many how many parents do you think, Justin, like the kids went out into the lobby and the kids are like, what's going on? And the parents like, that's the end. Intermission. Intermission means it's done. It's Latin for go on home, Jeremy. I will say at least one third of this podcast tried it for sure. For sure. Oh, we're done, sweetie. And here's, and get this, because it's like a fancy, fancy place. You can't bring drinks or snacks in the theater. So what you had was kids had been bought sodas. We're told they couldn't bring them into the theater and then just stood outside before act two, just pounding soda and sugar and then putting them back in for act two. By the end of this show, the, the mass exodus and hysteria

was as if the PJ Masks had started, suddenly started doing like deeply racist material. Just like shouting at people, people walking out, kids just like, one kid had a conch shell and another kid killed him for it. It was fucking pandemonium. The idea and what kills is like, who did you make this two hours for? It was your target and making this a two hour long production because it's certainly one of the parents. I could have showed up and just taken a picture with the PJ Masks and feel like I had done my duty. It wasn't the kids. They want this shit to be 15 minutes long and that's barely like that's, that's hanging by a thread and you're going to get two hours. It's for the performers, Justin, so they can really stretch their chops.

It may be the only time they let them off the bus, so maybe it's like a humanitarian thing. Like, we do have to give them two hours. You watch them walk up the stage, they do the curtain call, they do a bow and then you, as they're walking off the stage, you can actually see them putting the shackles back around their, their neck. As the sheet dogs start hurting them. Anyway, PJ Masks were pretty good. This is as you've almost certainly guessed by now. This is an advice show where we take your questions and turn them alchemy-like into wisdom. Again, really sorry about the absence. It's not going to be a recurring thing. It's just been a rough. I hear it makes the heart grow fonder. Indeed. And it makes the download counts go down

much very down, very, very down. So please download the show a bunch of times, tell your friends. I recently attended a symposium at a large opera house in Denver. As the lights dimmed and the PJ Masks began to take the stage at that time, I heard an odd scrubbing sound on my left and turn, turn to see the person next to me was brushing her teeth. She was using a full-sized toothbrush with no toothpaste that I could see and she was brushing very actively. What you got to. And making a lot of noise. After a few minutes, she threw her toothbrush loose into her purse, turned to me and said, I really thought I was late to this, but I guess I was just on time.

That's speechless. And I just stared at her. What would have been the appropriate response to this heinous opera crime? Is there an appropriate time for you to brush your teeth at an opera house? If you had gotten there early, does that justify it? Certainly being on time or late, neither of those is acceptable tooth brushing. Like, oh, oh, sorry, excuse me, excuse me. What did I miss? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not a time thing. It's a place thing because you can't brush your teeth at the opera or outside of your house bathroom only. I would also, I would pause it that while all of this is very upsetting, I'm in some ways very glad she was brushing very actively because I think it would be way

stranger if she was brushing very laxadaisically. Yeah, sure. Very lazily brushing just, yeah. Gengy Vitus ain't nothing to fuck with and I get that. And if you're gonna go to town, if you're gonna brush your teeth in public, you may as well get the job done. If you're gonna go to town, you may as well go in a Lincoln. I get it, but I don't get it because you're outside your house bathroom and that's where the toothbrush lives. I think toothbrushes should have those little electric dog collars on them, but facing outwards or if you do try to leave your house bathroom for it, I see people in the bathroom at the airport brush their teeth and it's like, you couldn't wait, maybe the big job interview, maybe? Okay. Those might be midnight writers,

though Griffin, though. Those people might get a red eye. That can feel pretty humanizing. They've only touched ground twice in a month. You should have to get a permit from, I had to do the TSA pre-check and I think there should also be a TSA like toothbrush okay outside of airport, go for a free hall pass. It's a cloak, right? It's definitely a cloak. You caught me, it's a buck wild cloak, but it's a cloak all the same. You caught me brushing my teeth in this room and that's how late I was. That's what a rush I was in that I couldn't brush my teeth at home, so I had to brush it. You're suggesting they always carry a toothbrush so that if they're late for a thing, they run into the big meeting like, sorry guys, it's one of those mornings, a fucking

kid. No, I'm suggesting what you're saying. That's a good strat. That's a pro strat. I'm very into that. Mr. Matthews, you're late for the first period again. I know man, fucking the little one stole my car again and my backpack died. I think this is what I, okay, because I think this falls in the same category. You remember in cartoons and TV shows to signify someone was late? They had like an electric razor in the car. Has anyone ever fucking really done that? Probably. If I was driving and I looked over and saw somebody in the car to my left, shaving their, I would park by the side of the road and wait half an hour to make sure that person was gone. Citizens arrest. Absolutely. I do have to pause it. There is a possibility, I think, and hopefully this will

help guide you. There's a possibility, I think, that this person, maybe we don't know their journey, but perhaps they are living with obsessive-compulsive disorder, in which case excessive grooming, as I understand, can be a component of that. Sure. And in which case, I would say maybe just let people have their fucking journey, you know? Yeah. Maybe when you see people who are doing things a little bit out of the norm, maybe just what you guys start things like. Respect the journey. Respect that journey. 2018. I mean, respect the journey. Okay. I can get behind that. I do want to say though, the one element of this, though, to go against that was just throwing the toothbrush loose in the purse. Yeah.

If this person did this on a regular basis, they would have like a special thing that they could travel. A travel case would make sense. A whole story. Yeah. Yeah. Like a bandolier, like John Popper has of harmonicas with toothbrushes, just. I'm not trying to project obsessive-compulsive disorder onto this person. What I'm saying is like, if you listening at home, if that's your fucking journey, own your journey. Respect the journey. Respect the journey. Damn, that's good. How about a yahoo? Okay. This yahoo is sent in by the delivery man, Seth Carlson. Thank you, Seth. It's the yahoo answers user anonymous. We're going to call him Marcus asks, is it awkward for actors and actresses to do kissing

scenes? Oh, the kissing scene, though. Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, last day of shooting. You had me at hello. Happy New Year's. Get over here. And then they put their faces close and Billy kind of grimaces and Meg looks a little, she starts sweating and the director is like, stop. You did such a good job delivering the lines, but where's the smooch? Real quick side journey. Can I tell you why when Harry Met Sally is a fucked up movie? I mean, I guess so. As long as it doesn't derail the great momentum I was building there. Now, we'll come right back to your momentum. Pin momentum. Not how momentum works. Pin momentum pinned. In when Harry Met Sally, at the beginning of the movie, Harry posits that men and women can't be friends without wanting to sleep together.

And then Harry and Sally become friends and then they sleep together and enter a romantic relationship. Incorrect, because their friendship takes on new levels and depth and spice over time when they are no longer lovers. Their friendship persists despite the fact that they are no longer lovers. And that is what is so beautiful about the story of when Harry Met Sally. You missed the whole point. But then they end up in a romantic relationship, Justin. No, Travis, I'm sorry, you weren't. Moving on to the next Rob Reiner film, North. Now. Now, okay. Mistakes were made. They've been probably leaning in, Billy and Meg. And it's just like,

it was always you kid leaning in and then they just start laughing because it's funny. This is a stranger. I've worked along, Billy, for a few months now. We've made this romantic film. Wait, you Griffin. Yeah, I've worked. I mean, we did some work together and we did have that one very passionate kiss in City Slickers one. And I just leaned in to Billy, lips are puckered, and I was ready because I keep it professional. I wanted to get the job done, go back to my trailer. And I just leaned in and me and Billy just started just corpseing right there. Couldn't stop cackling because it's funny. I don't know you, but we have to kiss. What a weird job this is. You know what? I bet it's also weird when it happens in the smooching scenes,

like you've been doing the scene, right? And it's like, oh, it's so dramatic. Oh, the passion. I can feel it. And then they go into kiss and it's just like, you know what I mean? Like, definitely. There's got to be actors who's bad kisses, who's bad kissing, right? And it's and you're the director, right? And maybe you're also like, well, you're not to us. You're the director, maybe director of photography too. You did it all. You wrote the script and you're watching it and like, you're like, yes, yes, this is it. And then they just kind of like do that thing where it's like, they just kind of catch the corner of each other's mouths and maybe their noses bump and you're like, oh, now what you don't realize, a lot of these movies these days,

they do, they just get handy circus in there. So for instance, Ashton Kutcher doesn't know, never learned how to kiss, never, never, never really did it. And so in 70s show and in fuck buddies and his great show, The Ranch that everybody loves on Netflix, anytime he has to do a kiss scene or two and a half men, the later college years, they just Andy circus, they would you know, call cut one frame, it would you would look over and be like, did he get a little bit shorter and also did a complete digital recreation of A plus K. And now they have the technology that they can have Andy circus kiss Andy circus. He's good at it. He's good at kissing himself and a lot of people don't know this, but the

racist pistachio commercial, that was Andy. That was that was Andy doing Ashton. So it's time to forgive. I think it was Andy doing Ashton. I think there is very little more pleasurable to me than the idea of Ashton's about to kiss his leading lady and then cut. So Ashton can go put on his crazy black lycra suit with the white balls all over it. Just to make sure we get the capture exactly right for the body. And then Andy circus is looking over his shoulder with a smaller black lycra on his face that is mad. And he's sort of modeling the actions. So it's Ashton's body being captured, but Andy circus's face handling the actual smooching. And he just parts his lips, the scientifically perfect number of millimeter. Like it is mouth moisture,

perfect moisture in Andy circus is perfect. The nice thing about it is that it leaves Ashton's face available so that he can tweet with his nose. He has his assistant reach up and let's him peck out a couple of good ones on there. And they just put the iPad right in front of the person's face, too. So really, you know what? Here's the thing. If you're on set, you look at it, you're like, I don't see how this would ever come together. And really, who this comes down to? It's those texts. You know, and this is why I'm saying we have to keep the technical gotta pay the taxes going. Gotta have to keep them going. Respect the texts, respect the journey. I think that Andy circus is basically has been troned at this point. I

think he has been transcended at this point. And I think he is entirely a digital construct at this point discuss. Yes. Do you think that the greatest technical achievement in the 2018 Oscars will be if they can recreate the wild things three way kiss all in all in a series? Justin, how about another question? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I got a new joke. Just a full remake of the notebook with him playing both roles. If you're a bird, I'm a bird. I'm Andy circus. He's playing young and old both sets. Let's die at the same time. I'm Andy circus. His Benjamin Button was really good because it's like, this is the easiest gig I've ever had. Do it around me. In some ways, it's actually kind of sad because Andy circus has single

handedly put out of work every actor in the world. Yeah, it's just him. Because he is lawnmower man himself throughout all of lawnmower man. It's a great example. I should have used earlier. Justin, how about another question? Here's looking at you, Andy. Thank you, Andy. Very kind. And the Oscar for best actor goes to me again. Thank you, me. You're welcome, Andy. I'd like to thank all of you remember when Gollum presented an Oscar at the Oscars. Oh, that actually did life beat us to that joke. How are we all not always talking about the fact that Gollum presented at the Oscars? How is that not our every day? Somebody watched the

kids choice awards and saw Bart Simpson give one out and said, I'd like to do that for the highest acting honor in the land. Shrek and donkey presented it. Shrek and donkey have definitely done that. Shrek at the Vibe Awards was was a kind of a landmark moment. I'm keeping all the cable lace awards this year. I've got a new job, but it's been an excellent transition so far. The pay is better. It's a 20 minute commute and my favorite restaurant is down the street. There's just this one little thing. My new boss is a really nice, fun guy who I mostly get along with, except it came up in conversation that I had been mugged and he thought that was the funniest thing in the world. Oh my God. So he keeps popping out at me and shouting,

ah, don't get jacked and running up behind me telling me to stick them up and give me the goods. It's alarming to say the least. What should I do, boyos? That's from just a cool kid employed dangerously. Man, that's not good. That sucks in a major way because that shit will fuck you up, man. Like, that's no good. That's a really bad, that's a, that is a, I mean, it sounds like you enjoy it. I get, oh, it says alarming. I thought it said amazing. Okay, so it's alarming to say the least. Yeah, it's not good. It's a bad behavior. I think the good solution for this is next time he tries it, throw him your wallet and piss your pants. I thought you were going to say what I was going to say when you said throw,

because I was going to say, like, throw him, like, judo throw him. I'm sorry, I've trained myself as a human weapon. Yeah, this could never happen again. Or just, I actually like Justin's better. Or just throw him into a garbage can where it sounds like maybe he belongs, which is right there. My impulse is to tell people something we've been kind of on, I think since about 350 or so, which is like, just fucking tell him, don't do that. But when I realized that, when I realized you'd be telling your boss like, hey, don't mug me, which you shouldn't have to tell, you should not mug you. Can you pay your dad to dress up as Batman and hide in the ceiling tiles? Because I think just one time of him pulling this, and then your dad falls through

the ceiling with like that triumphant Tim Burton music behind him and just like takes your boss out. Yeah, I feel like I'm sorry. False alarm. Sorry, but it's hard to discern. My computer algorithm doesn't touch sarcastic mugging. Well, I've been sitting a lot of muggings in this area as of late. Because who does that? Who does sarcastic mugging you fucking jag? I'm Batman. I cuss now. Now get back to collating or whatever. Bye. I've never worked a real job. Could you actually bring a smoke bomb with you? Could you actually bring a smoke bomb with you? So that your boss goes to mug you and you're like, oh yeah, let me just grab this out of my done, gone. Where is he? He's not working today. That's for sure. And why? Because you tried to

mug him. So good luck explaining that to the higher ups. Why Dylan isn't at work today? Because I tried to mug him or talk to HR. That's another that should be another go to piece of advice that we start incorporating, which is there's a fucking, there's a person you talk to about complicated social stuff like that. Okay, okay. Yes, Gryffind, but like that implies there's a way to handle this anonymously. So you need to go to HR and they send out a company-wide email. We've had some issue with fake mugging in the office of if you know anybody that has done fake mugging on Dylan or any other specific examples. We've just heard there's been a bit of a trend. Yeah, it's kind of caught on lately. You may have been reading some headlines recently about

fake muggings in the office. Just want to let you know this behavior will not be tolerated is against our corporate spirit. Should we go to the money zone? I forget how to get there, Gryffind. Show me the way. It's just the seconds. Okay, we'll do your thing. I was going to do like a second star on the right and fly straight to him. Keep going. It's one of my favorite stick songs. Show me the way. Oh, you know what? You know what? I know that song by heart is because one time at Christian camp, we had to choreograph a song to it about Jesus. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Oh, really? It was a pantomime to that. Sticks is show me the way except there was a Jesus and they- There was a Jesus. And they seem very proud of themselves for using secular music. Like,

you kids like sticks. Oh, was this like the guy who did the weird Al style parody of walking in Memphis but walking with Jesus? Walking with Jesus. I don't think weird Al works with that particular palette. I don't think that's a color that he paints with. Did we already talk about walking with Jesus? Definitely no. It had the worst perversion, like the worst parody perversion of a line. I've ever heard my entire life. I guess parody is not really accurate. But anyway, repurposed secular music for Christianity's purposes. This cat put in this lyric. She said, Son, are you a Christian child? And I said, Ma'am, I am for life. Can you not ruin one of the best fucking lines in any song with that? Like, that's please. So here come those commercials.

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for a bottle you don't like. And right now Wink is offering listeners $20 off your first order when you go to triwink.com slash my brother. That's triwinktwinc.com slash my brother to get $20 off your first order now. Triwink.com slash my brother. I have a personal message here for Allison. It's from Daniel, and it says, happy 24th birthday, honey bee. I sure hope you still listen to this podcast. I heard they did like a month of live shows. That must have been harrowing. I don't blame you for bouncing. Being apart has been tough, but listening to these soft sweet boys has helped shorten the distance between us. I know we'll always be on the same wavelength. All my love, fluff butt. Now it is worth noting the October 8th. Okay, that's not that far.

Oh my god. I read October 8th, and I thought, man, that's like six or seven months away. Hachimachi. No, that's next. That's the next week. That's next week. I got a message for Daniel from Hannah. Wait, do you think it's the same Daniel? Hold on. Hold on. Okay, Daniel. All right. My sweet's probably not. My sweet soft boy, I cannot wait to marry you, or I'm so glad to be married to you if this airs after October 22nd. It didn't. We crushed it. Hannah. Cheers to our years together so far and the bright future ahead. All my love, Hannah. And that's from Hannah for Daniel. So I'm glad that you all, I hope you all had a happy ceremony. I'm glad you found each other whole tight.

Lot of lucky, lot of lucky Daniels out there. Lucky Daniels. Today. Or maybe one Daniel. Or maybe one lucky, but it's not faithful, Daniel. Yes, so let's not maybe suggest that, Travis. One fortunate yet problematic Daniel, or two just regular Daniels. I didn't start two regular Daniels situation, and also there's lots of lucky Daniels out there. Daniel Stern is having sort of a renaissance, a career revival, which I'm very excited about. He's back? Yeah, man, he was in Christmas Story 2 about 10 years ago. Um, I actually have a third jambotron here, and it's from Travis to Theresa.

And it says, happy fourth wedding anniversary. I love you very much. Love your husband, Travis. Now did you, now I do want to say, because I think this was just like a cute thing that you just did, but I do need that $100. I actually, I did pay for it because I don't want to take food out of my own mouth. Ever. I love putting food in my mouth. Why would I take it out? How's it going, everyone? I'm Oliver Wang. And I'm Morgan Rhodes. We have a brand new show on the Maximum Fun Network that we'd love to share with you. It's called Heat Rocks. Morgan, we should probably explain what a heat rock is. It is a banger, a fire track,

true fire. Right, dope album. Each episode, we will bring on a special guest to join us to talk about one of their heat rocks. It might be a musician, a writer, maybe a scholar. I mean, I would have been happy to just talk to you about your heat rocks, but this is a different show. Yeah, I think people might enjoy hearing maybe the guests instead. To do that, you'll have to go to MaximumFun.org. So if you want to talk about hot music, you should check us out. Heat rocks. I bet if that cat ever tries to stand still in Memphis, it's fucking miserable for it. Oh, it's awful. You cannot get into a line, cannot wait for a bus. Or I mean, it's probably equally bad if he is walking in Memphis because just everyone down the street,

like, I got him. There he goes. Got you, motherfucker. Like the song douchebag. This is, of course, from one of our Elseworlds alternative universe fictions where anybody knows what Mark Cohen looks like. But still, he probably can't even go to Memphis, huh? It's probably just over for him. No way. No way he can't. No, no way. I got a Yahoo here. It was sent in. Oh, I don't know who sent it in. Hold on. I hate this fucking website so much. I sent him by the delivery man, Seth Carlson. God, he's fucking owning this shit right now. Thank you, Seth. It's another Yahoo Answers user who didn't choose to use their name, so we'll call him Mark Cohen, asks, how does one end a Griffin's occupation of a castle?

Wait, what? And then there's a picture of like a, you know, the lion bird Griffin. Not you. Well, I mean, I think I could occupy a castle. Griffin, did you pick this for yourself? I think I could occupy a castle pretty good to the extent where you two couldn't get up in my castle because I have all kinds of traps and gates and, you know, walls and armaments and, you know, pots of hot fluid and catapults and trebuchets, so. You ever think about moats and how gross they must have been? Because that's just like fucking stagnant water. It's stinky. Probably Mosquito City, which is another sort of defense mechanism. We got Deet in here. You don't got Deet out there.

But wouldn't you be lonely, Griffin? I don't care about that. I got the safest castle in the whole land. Griffin, wouldn't you be lonely? Loneliness would eventually siege my castle, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I think you'd welcome some other people in. And that's when we get you. Oh, no. You shouldn't have dropped your guard, motherfucker. Why don't you let us in? Why did you open the port? Call us. Um, all right, let's do it. Friendship is a weakness. We can do a different one. All right, let's do a different one. This one isn't in, but... Oh, fuck.

I never thought it would end like this. I want a munch! Squat! I want too much! Squat! Welcome to Munch Squad. It's podcast within a podcast. McDonald? A good start, good start, good start. I know it's going to be good if my boy Ronald's in the mix. This headline is going to take you on a journey. Things are going to seem normal, and then things are going to pivot.

McDonald's introduces buttermilk crispy tenders. Art posters. Whoa. McDonald's introduces buttermilk crispy tenders, comma, art posters. Okay, the comma is so important there because, I mean, it's still buck wild, but I thought it was come get these posters of the tendos. It's still buck wild, so these tenders are seasoned and battered and breaded to perfection, and they pair perfectly with nine McDonald's sauces. And here's the quote from McDonald's chef Michael Harcaz. Our new buttermilk crispy tenders are another example of how we're giving customers the food

they love. We also know they have a lot of passion for our sauces, so we created a brand new signature sauce that perfectly complements buttermilk crispy tenders with the ideal balance with sweet and tangy flavors. It might be my new favorite, please don't tell Honey Mustard, which is, of course, the name of his life. You said that? Oh, I was going to say. Or, I mean, on the end verse, this dude fucks a big bucket of Honey Mustard. That's possible. Okay, so Chef Mike is far from alone in his dipping sauce devotion. Oh, God, so many questions. Is this like the Joanie Ive of McDonald's? Is there just today? I'm proud to, this dipping sauce is tangy, and it has a nearly invisible bezel.

By the way, they don't describe this new sauce, so it's a fucking cliffhanger in the press release. Great. You just got to go and see for yourself. It's the latest addition to an already legendary McDonald's sauce lineup that's so beloved, you might even say, fans are obsessed. You might say that. You might say that. You shouldn't. You shouldn't. You didn't. So here we are. McDonald's is celebrating the launch of buttermilk crispy tenders by letting sauce fans show their appreciation as they would for any other pop culture phenomenon. No. With limited edition, custom screen printed gig style posters. Oh, God. The thing, is this because Rick and Morty made everybody horny about

Szechuan sauce for a little bit, and they're like, they think people care all of a sudden, except they don't have, unless it's that one. Is that what they're trying to tease that, I think, as like the hot new thing that they're doing? I would also say that like, what was the last time, I mean, maybe, but like, if, if I go to a fast food place and they offer like ranch and honey mustard and ketchup, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. I've seen those before, but this is suggesting they're offering ranch honey mustard ketchup in a gig style, art prints, custom hand printed poster. This is a quote from Billy Bowman, co-owner of the delicious design league, a graphic design studio and print shop. Limited edition, illustrated screen printed posters have really taken off in

recent years, expanding from music to TV, mother movies, games, and now apparently fucking McDonald's sauce. So I guess those are over with now. They're a collectible way for fans to express their unique fandom. Are you fucking what? No one cares this much about McDonald's sauce. When creating these posters, we approach them as we would any intellectual property. Trying to capture the feeling and defining characteristics of each sauce in one eye-popping visual. Just wet and salty. How do you get that? Just wet and salty. So I hear you saying you want one and I hear you. Customers will have the chance to receive their favorite limited edition sauce poster at participating McDonald's restaurants on Saturday, October 7th. So here's the thing. Here's the thing.

There's probably never been a more important participating in the history of English language because if you walk into the wrong McDonald's and you say, hi, I would like a poster of buttermilk ranch, please, you will be escorted out. You'll not be welcome at that McDonald's anymore. It's just, is can I play this off where you come into my house and you see the hot mustard poster and somebody says, what's that? I say, aw man, ACL Fest last year. Had to see hot mustard. I skipped Wilco to go see hot mustard because they're so good music players. Justin, you haven't talked about this. There's nine of these fucking things. Gotta catch them all. Yeah, I can just link you guys. You can go to buttermilkkrispytenders.com

and check out all these posters. They do have a very tasteful McDonald's logo in the bottom left-hand corner just in case there's any dispute about where you got your buttermilk honey mustard poster from. I'm currently checking for my closest participating McDonald's where I'm going to just wander in. None in Huntington. Great. I guess I don't get one. I'm sure the box will be filling up with these because now that I see them, it's literally all I want. The only thing I want in my entire life. You know what? I dig the shit out of these posters. Damn it, Travis. They're so cool and they have sauce names on them. I waited it. Sauce names on them. Spicy buffalo looks great. I waited in line to get SNES classic this morning.

I would happily trade it away for one of these beautiful posters. Also, a sub question. Is it bad form or good form after you secure one of these posters at a participating McDonald's? And by the way, you know this is a fucking Austin thing. Definitely live music capital of the world. You know, you know that they are all over this spot. Is it possible to get everybody who works at the McDonald's to sign it? Oh, that's a good call. That's going to be worse than someday. I've been watching Antiques Roadshow. I know how this shit works. Can you imagine putting one of these posters on your wall and then just shrooming so hard and staring at it until you can taste the poster? It tastes a factor. Did they put that in the ink somehow?

If we're talking about some Snossberry's tastes like Snossberry's situation, like, yeah, I think I would actually get into these. A hot mustard poster. It tastes like hot mustard, I think so. So they have vinyl stickers, too. And I do want those on my laptop post-haste. They're so good. I've gone full 180 on this. I think this is a great promotion. I'm so excited about it. There's one that's just for honey. It makes me so hot. It's just honey. The sauce is just honey. And I really like the poster. These are so good. I still, though, even if I knew for a legal fact that it was a participating McDonald's, I still cannot imagine going to the counter and being like, um, can I have a poster about your tangy barbecue sauce, please? Can you? Is that

available? Apparently they're free with the purchase of Buttermilk Crispy Tenders. I mean, I hope that falls on a cheat day so I can just go for it. This morning, I was walking out to my car so I can go to work. And in my lawn, there was an entire bowl of Fruit Loops just sitting there. It had a bowl, milk, loops, middle spoon and all. It wasn't from anyone in our family and I don't have any friends that would, for some reason, do this nearby. I'm so confused. How did it get there? Was someone walking down the sidewalk, eating an entire bowl of cereal? Why on the ground in my yard? Of all places to leave it? Do I clean the bowl and spoon and leave them in my yard for the perpetrator to pick it back up? I'm so confused. Please help.

That's from Lily in New York. Man. So many possibilities here. First one, viral marketing for I don't know, man. Maybe they got lime once again. They got lime. I mean, you're suggesting it's Fruit Loops. It could be for, you know, uh, Hacksaw Ridge now on Blu-ray because the guy ate Fruit Loops in that one. I haven't seen it, but that's just an example. It, maybe it's an it thing. The kids love Fruit Loops before they're, they're hurt by the clown. Another possibility. Another option, and this is probably the more likely one, is it's a cloudy with a chance of meatballs or Kazam style food miracle fell down from the sky. And it's a very limited scope or perhaps very specific Griffin, very specific. Or I mean, perhaps the food miracle struck downtown and there was a crosswind

and this one bowl of Fruity Loops did make it all the way down the street. And now that I've said that, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're dealing with here. It's sort of just a, just it got picked up in the, in the, in a westerly and ended up in your lawn. I would like to pause it. I would like to pause it. One other possibility Griffin. Better than a child made a shackwish and then a stiff wind caught it. Absolutely not. But another possibility. And then we'll get back to shackwish. Momentum pinned. Yeah. Do you ever set your keys down and then you did it without thinking and then you can't remember where you put your keys? Maybe, question asked her, did this themselves? You mementoed a bowl of, of, of looped cereal into your yard and didn't think about it.

You were eating the cereal. You said, oh, I left my work papers inside and you thoughtlessly set your cereal down in the middle of your lawn, went back inside, grabbed the papers, came back out and you're like, who put the cereal here? But it was you. You did it. You put the cereal there. You, uh, you be tempted to eat this bad boy or what? This is a no-go. Probably not. This is probably a hard pass for me. If it's in my, if it touches the lawn, it's probably a no because I've got ants. Oh, the biggest clue that you didn't include. Was the cereal still in a, like, crunchy form? Right. How'd it been sitting there long enough to absorb all of the liquid? One time, I dropped Henry off at daycare in the morning, I came inside and I saw like a plastic lid of

like a fountain drink cup sitting in my driveway and I thought like, I'll get you on the flip, my dude, you're going to stay right there. And when I go to get Henry this afternoon, I'm going to get you. And when I came back, the lid wasn't there and it was in fact on top of an ant hill in my yard, probably about 15 feet away. And some ants, some ambitious ants came, put a little moonroof on their situation. And I respect it. I respect the hustle is what I did. And I think that this might have been like the biggest fucking hall ever for these, these big, powerful and hungry ants. Can you imagine being an ant that's like, oh, dunk, somebody left a full bowl of fruit loops up on their front porch. Let's get that shit and then get it back to the, you know, the hive queen

or however ants work. Nobody's quite sure. And have a bowl of fruit loops as an ant colony? That's awesome. I love thinking about that. There's no way that that's not what happened. It's definitely ants. It's definitely ants. 100% ants. Or I'm sorry, ants. Unless, unless, unless, unless you live next to maybe a lazy or cash strapped big game hunter that really wants to kill a toucan. And that's a easy, that's a easy con. And it's probably, it's kind of against the spirit of the hunt. And you just hear like a folly from outside, you hear like folly and it's like, oh, shit, get him. Go, go, go, go, go. Now, quick. The trap is sprung. Got you, Daniel. Yeah, look around at other, look around at other yards in the neighborhood. And if you see like a bowl of frosted flakes,

yeah, for like, I don't know, maybe some honey crisp. I think there was a bear associated with that one. So the, and Griffin, in this fantasy scenario, your, the reason that it's in the neighbor's yard is that they didn't want to kill an endangered bird on their own land. Is that the idea? Yeah, maybe cook up a cockamamie story that they were like, defending their neighborhood or something. The toucan is a vicious beast. It'll use that big, powerful beak, take your neck right off, bite your whole neck off. And so you, and then you'll have, you'll be left without a neck. Now you're going to live without your neck. Yeah. It's real hard. And so you do it in your own yard and that it's obviously entrapment. You do it in a neighbor's yard. It's a good Samaritan.

Yeah. I was protecting him from a toucan Daniel, but really you just wanted that toucan Daniel to hang up on your wall. And I will say one thing. That's one. You know his name is toucan Sam, right? Is it toucan Sam? It's not toucan Dan. Toucan Dan was the dumb monster factory thing me and Justin made. Damn, dude. My own IP has become so fucking rich. I can't even, I can't even keep a track of it. Damn. Damn Daniel. Damn Daniel. Do you guys remember Tam Daniel? We leave out seeds for birds. We leave out big blocks of salt for deer. Why aren't we leaving it anything out for stoned college kids who are just wandering around? I think it's nice that you want some like when honey, I love being out here on on the terrace. Wouldn't it be nice though if we

could watch some fucking college kids just wander around and listen to rest of the route and eat fruit loops out here? I want to put out, I want to put out some fruit loops and see if we can't get some because I think that would really complete the vista. Wouldn't it be great if we could look out the window and see a gaggle of shaggies just eating all of the fruit loops we've left? Yeah. A murder of shaggies swing by and just like nest in the tree where we've hung a bunch of fruit roll-ups. Look at them. They're beautiful. Why haven't you migrated, little fella? We built this, we built this special stand so that the squirrels can't climb up and get the hot pockets we've left. He's so cute. He stinks like shit, but I love him.

Do you think cartoon shaggy ever tried to get people to call him Mr. Boom Bastic? Shaggy who unmasked this ogre? Wasn't me. Was there ever an episode where that cartoon man smoked a bunch of weed? Because it was always implied but never seen, but there was probably situations where he just ripped one. The better question. I get what you're saying, Griffin. I think the obvious connotation is that anytime he is not directly in frame, shaggy is smoking weed. I mean, that's like anytime you're not directly looking at him, he's smoking weed. The question for me becomes, do you think shaggy has taught Scooby-Doo to smoke weed? Because that would be my bigger question is like, they're so close. They're such friends.

Shaggy would want him to share in his kind conge. Maybe he gets Scooby-Doo to smoke weed with him is my question. That sounds like animal cruelty. Yeah, it's not responsible. It's irresponsible. It should be noted also that Scooby-Doo has glaucoma. Oh, okay. Folks, that's going to do it for us this week. We hope you have enjoyed yourself. Sorry for being away again for so long. We had a few things we wanted to talk about. Yeah, so the first one, and this is a little more serious than we normally deal with on the show, but America recently has been hit by a lot of natural disasters and especially Puerto Rico has been hit and hasn't really been receiving the help that maybe some of its more mainland American counterparts, thank you, have been receiving.

So our friend and amazing person, Lin-Manuel Miranda has been helping to lead the charge on getting some aid and getting some help for Puerto Rico. So if you would like to help out and make a donation, you can go to hispanicfederation.org slash donate. And I would also suggest checking out Lin's feed on Twitter to see all the stuff that they're working on to try to get some help for Puerto Rico. And just do what you can. And just in general, anytime you see people needing some help, do what you can and help them out. Also wanted to let everyone know that at New York Comic-Con this year, we are going to be doing a panel about the Adventure Zone graphic novel. It's going to be me and Dad and Kerry Peach, who is the artist working on the graphic

novel. And it's going to be moderated by Patrick Rothfuss. So that's going to be, I think, a whole lot of fun. It's Friday morning at 10.30 at the Hudson Mercantile, 10.30 on Friday morning. So come out, check it out. And then we're going to be doing a ticketed signing afterwards. So the first 75 people who show up to the panel are going to get tickets to the signing afterwards. So come hang out with us and say hi. I want to thank John Rodgers for the long winters for the use of our theme song It's a Departure off the album Putting the Days to Bed. It's a very, very good album. And it's like one of my fall favorites. So if you haven't listened to it or any of the long winters music, all the albums are very, very good. And they're going to get you in that

autumnal mood. Also want to thank Maximum Fun for having us on the network. You can go to MaximumFun.org, check out all the great podcasts there, shows like Stop Podcasting Yourself, One Bad Mother, Lady to Lady, The Greatest Generation, which is also doing a new show about the new series called The Greatest Discovery. We have two Star Trek podcasts on the network, fucking step off. All great shows all at MaximumFun.org. And if you want to see the other shows and videos and stuff that we do, you can go to McElroyShows.com. I want to mention real quick that Rachel and I have a new show called Wonderful, which has replaced our bachelor recap show Rose Buddies that I've really enjoyed doing. We're only four episodes in and it's just

a podcast where we talk about stuff that we like and try to stay positive about everything. So go check out Wonderful if you want. Along those same lines, I want to let everyone know that my friend Tybee and I have started a new podcast called Run, a Doctor Who fancast to replace in Tarabang, the show we used to do. It's kind of a rewatch, Doctor Who discussion news kind of thing. So far we've watched the first three of the Eccleston series, as well as the eighth Doctor Paul McGahn movie. So if you want to check that out, you can find it on iTunes or just by searching Run, a Doctor Who fancast. Justin, you got anything you want to plug? I'm on my grind. Just every day, you know your boy. I'm on my grind 24-8. That's me.

So here's a final yahoo. It's sent in by like five different people. It was sent in by a lot of folks. Thank you. It's from another one. Wait, sorry. One more thing. We do have something to plug. The Adventure Zone is going to be starting the new ARC coming next week. Yeah. Well, starting this week, we're going to be doing our world building episode. Yeah. So if you want to get on board, get on the ground floor of a new adventure, then come join us on Thursday. Yeah, Thursday, October 5th. We're going to have our world building episode. We're going to be doing a few mini ARCs. So like little two, three episode ARCs where we're all going to be taking turns telling new stories and playing new games and exploring new genres. Dad has a superhero story planned out.

We're going to be playing the Fate system. I'm very excited about it. We've got our characters ready and I'm super, super psyched for y'all to hear it. So yeah, this Thursday, we're going to be doing like a preliminary world building episode so you can find out what we're going to be doing and who we're going to be playing and it's going to be really fun. Also, I want to mention that we're going to be adding another My Brother, My Brother and Me show in Chicago when we're doing our Midwest tour this November. We're going to be there one day early at the Chicago Theater. That's November the 16th at the Chicago Theater. And tickets for that are going to go on presale this Wednesday the 4th starting at 10 a.m. Central Time. I think we'll probably be sharing the link

whenever the site is available, but you can find out details on the Chicago Theater's website. But in order to get tickets in the presale, you're going to have to use a special password. And that special unhackable password is, see that bike just drove by trying to get the password. The password is My Brother, all one word. That's going to get you the presale Wednesday, October the 4th at 10 a.m. Central Time. And then they're going to be on sale for the public this Friday, the 6th at noon Central Time. But go ahead and get on there, get the presale tickets going, and keep an eye out for the link. And come see us November 16th in Chicago. And we're going to be doing My Brother, My Brother, and Me. So come see us. All right, guys. Yeah, finally, Yahoo!

This one's sent in by a bunch of folks. Thank you, everybody who sent this one in. It's from an anonymous Yahoo! Answers user who I'm going to name Michael. Asks, who named the moon the moon? My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. It's been my brother, my brother, and me. Kiss your dad. Square on the lips. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Every week on Inside Pop, we take turns recommending something great from the world of pop culture to each other. And in the month of October, we're going big. Very big. With the Big Cell 30. Every day for 30 days, we're going to suggest some type of pop culture to check out.

Things that may not be on your radar, but will be well worth trying. From TV to music to movies and more, the Big Cell 30 is as irresistible as a Jedi mind trick. As convincing as an Annalise Keating closing argument. And as seductive as Miguel singing a ballad shirtless and slightly sweaty. Follow us on Twitter at popinsiders for daily Big Cells and listen to Inside Pop every week for Big Cells from some special guests. The Big Cell 30 starts October 1st and runs every day of the month on Inside Pop.