My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 385: Horses in the Drift

Episode Date: December 18, 2017

Well, we've had a good run of being a podcast that folks can listen to with their ears and enjoy with their brains, but with today's technological innovations, we're afraid we've evolved into something more ... avant garde. Suggested talking points: Justin Ruins the Show, Public Lights, The Beatles' Old Old Music, Company Dinner Kobayashi Maru, Christmas Squad, Horse Math

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? It's a new place, and the girls do you want to just say, hey I wanna, just say, hey I wanna. Hello everyone and welcome to my brother, my brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother, 30 under 30, media luminary Griffin McElroy.

All right, then listen. What? All right, then listen. I got a soundboard. Yeah, so that's going to be a new thing that the ruins or maybe finalizes the sort of concept of this show. You know, as it all said, what I wish, I wish that my brother and my brother and me was more like in early 2000s, like morning drive to a radio show.

And we have the pest in there too. Now, oh that's a lot of the pest. I would love, I would actually prefer these to be like short sort of yelps or barks and not extended clips of the pest. Not the entirety of the pest. Not the entirety of the, you don't have a button mapped to the entirety of the pest, I'm hoping. Okay, so you do have a button mapped to the entirety of the pest. Yeah, that's the entirety of the pest just for that one button. And what did you, when you knew a newer program, by the way, special thanks to Roman Marzan and

I'm pretending visible for sabotaging our show by showing Justin how to do this. I'm assuming that's where you gleaned this particular. When you were programming in your board and you put in the entirety of the pest intro, the hit John Leguizamo feature film. What did you think the use case for that was going to be like? What did you think was going to be the time of the show? Like if we started talking about it, I could just like start playing it, but then remember to stop playing it.

But it's a little bit of a robber, isn't it, Justin? An oroboros, if you will, where it's like you started playing it so that we would talk about the intro. And then you're like, oh, the intro, you mean this? So it's kind of like a John Leguizamo causal loop is what you've established here. Now, I did put inspired by you last night, Griffin. I did put something on here that I thought you would talk about. I thought you would talk about it.

What? Okay. Do you want the intro or the intro? Just hit no intro. I put my hand inside a toilet. Oh, thank you, Justin. You heard it. Maybe one more. I put my hand inside a toilet. Oh, it's so good.

What is this? I mean, this show is going to be, please stop. Just explain. I'm going to stop it. Now, explain to Travis what he's just heard. I mean, I don't think it's the kind of thing that plays just by hearing it, but it made me personally very happy. There's a company called Brain Power Media that makes a bunch of really great films,

as far as I can tell, including Best Friend from Heaven, in which Chris Christoffers invoices a dog who dies, but then comes back from the dead to help his owners plan a wedding. And then there's a movie called A Witch's Ball, in which a man gets on stage and sings a beautiful song about how he put his hand inside a toilet. And so all of that is... I put my hand inside a toilet.

Yeah, like that. What does it sound like, because I was talking over? I put my hand inside a toilet. Yes. So that's the song I put in. Okay, then stop it, because it's so loud. It's very loud. And this show's not going to be a thing

people can consume for entertainment anymore, I think, maybe. Like, it's becoming more avant-garde in a way, which maybe... A bit more experimental. Yeah, so maybe we'll get talked about on all the big art blogs. Every frame of painting is going to come out of retirement. I don't know much about the Beatles, but this is probably like our revolver or our Sergeant Pepper period. Yeah, the MacRoy's have changed what it means to podcast,

because podcasting used to be a thing that people could enjoy. Yeah, and it is... It's a tunnel! Yeah, and now the MacRoy brothers are challenging you to just try to enjoy their show. Just try it. And it's a lot like revolver in that it feels like we are trying to shoot our listeners' ears off with a gun made of bad audio.

Like a bad audio experience. Like a love gun made of bad audio, just to tie back in the kiss connection. So maybe we put the soundboard inside a toilet. And flush it down to sewer hell. So we kind of want to do some old-school mabimbam. Without the soundboard, yeah. We got a lot of stuff for you tonight! You don't mind if we go way back to old-school kiss, do ya?

Okay, so there is some knowledge... And now I'm starting to turn around on the soundboard, because there is some topical stuff on there. Some topical humor, yeah. Okay, I'm done. Well, yo, you must have, Justin, your elbow brushed up. I brushed. Yeah, I brushed a button on there.

Okay, so I'm going to need you to set the soundboard. That was a lot of fart noise. What's sad, Justin, now we've used up our whole fart noise budget. I don't know how we're going to get to a show without... Yeah, we actually have to dip into our 2018 fart noise budget. So this is my brother and me. It's a vice show for the modern era. We're kind of out of the advice thing and more sort of focused on this soundboard

currently. So, but we're definitely going to help some people, because that's what we're here. Before we start on the thing, Griffin, did you want to share your... You had an idea for the next year slogan that I really liked. Yes, I got a letter in the mail. And the letter in the mail had a suggestion for a slogan for 2018. And I wanted to pitch it here. I feel good about enough about this one, by the way,

that I am almost ready to forgo the usual pitch sesh. Well, we should talk about it. You're right. We should talk about it, but it's something to stew on. Because I don't know if it's the healthiest. I'm all about the health. Anyway, Landon and Justin suggested 20 Slates Clean. 20 Slates Clean, and now let's talk about it.

Because I worry... Do we need the possessive? I worry... I'm not sure we need that. 20 Slates Clean could be good. I worry that people are going to think that we are... There have been a lot of full-blown creeps and freaks, creepazoids and freakazoids. Been coming out of the woodworks this year.

And I don't want 20 Slates Clean to sound like we are... We are forgiving and forgetting, in any way. But I worry that people could interpret 20 Slates Clean to mean that. I just... Ah, yes. Now, our freakazoids, we're still down. We're so happy to have you on the show. Creepazoids...

You're right, I misspoke. Creepazoids to the back, please. Creepazoids, please. You can just go ahead and go. You can go ahead and go. You're excused. Get the fuck out. Now, freakazoids, don't you move a muscle.

Yeah. Because y'all are here with us. In fact, scoot up. Scoot up. Scoot up. Don't touch that dial. It's got that jam on it. And it's got the nasty jam that you like.

Freakazoids. But I think I'm also not sure about 20 Slate Clean, because I don't know that I want to establish a motto that is as sort of centered around, like, boy, this was a bad year. Next year's the one. Because I feel like maybe we thought 2016 was like, oh, boy, well, at least 2016's over. And then 2017 was sort of a bad sequel in a way. You know what I mean?

So I don't want to be like, leave it behind. I want it to be like fucking mount, like regulators mount up. What's so messed up is that it turned out that 2017 turned out to be 2013. Dig it up. Yeah. So like, we just got the year off by like three years. This year we dug up a lot of dirt. There was a lot of dirty dirt.

Just when you thought you'd hit bedrock, you'd hit it again. And it was just more hard, crumbly dirt. Yeah. You thought it was bedrock, but it was actually new kinds of terrible dirt. Just hadn't even been invented yet. So I like the phonetically 20 Slate Clean. It sounds great. I just don't know.

I don't want to. I'm not settled on it, because I don't know that it's necessarily. Yeah. We're in it. I was taking it more of like a personal starting fresh, you know, not like forgive and forget, but for yourself. Like, allow yourself this period of Phoenix. But that's a good year title should not need a parenthetical.

Yeah. All of us have had parenthetical. And also, 2017, Zaggonem. That was a subtyle. 2013. Dig it up. That was a subtitle to increase the power of it, not to codify it. It's a modifier.

It doesn't apply. Also, I don't want a fresh start for everybody, because I feel like if one good thing came out of 2017, is that we got fucking hard like we got you had to get hard to get through 2017. And I'm not I'm not ready to get it. It would be bad for us to give up that chitin that we've developed after the waves of fucking garbage have crashed against our shores for, you know, two calendar years. Now, I feel I feel like tough. Something about like just fucking polish that armor.

We need a rhyme that rhymes with like something that represents no surrender. Like 20, 20 blade 20 blade team. And it's just like get strapped with a big sharp sword. Maybe this is maybe this is the year that we all become sword people. Listen, we got another we're still in the candle night spirit. We do not. We have plenty of time to think about what the theme for next year is going to be. Sure, there's probably something with skating.

We just have to figure it out skating. But right now, we're going to get into the questions. And I have to use the bathroom up here. Oh, well, how are we going to do the questions? And could you at least press some buttons on the soundboard to. He's gone on Griffin. We should just pitch other like subtitles and let people come up with the rhymes for us. Like I like mount up, mount up.

If we mount up makes me psyched, right? If we can find some kind of rhyme that's like 20, something, something, mount up 20 plate team. And it's like plate armor. This is nothing. No, 20. Let's go to rhyme zone.com. Yes, checkmate team checkmate team.

No, it doesn't quite go. 20, wait team be poised to strike. 20, wait team. 20, wait team poised to strike. I like that. And it just means like keep your fucking head on the swivel. Mount up. What about 20, don't wait team.

And it's like no day but today. 20, wait team. Don't wait for your chance to strike. What about, have you guys done 20 freight team unstoppable? Like a freight train? Let's do some questions. So a few days ago, right after my parents had gotten home, from what I don't know, we're in media res, two guys in a truck drove up to our house and asked us if our neighbors

Christmas lights were public. I didn't think much of it at first, but my mother's convinced this is a tactic they were using to scout our house. After thinking about it, I myself also now believe we are going to be burgled. Are we? That's from worried in West Virginia. What on God's green earth does that mean? Okay, so as I understand, okay, so this is based on my annual watching of

The American Scream, which is the documentary about people who decorate their houses for Halloween. It's extremely good if you have not seen it. It's extremely good. It may be the best Halloween movie. Right behind a witch's ball. But one of the characters in there does a map of Christmas lights, sorry, Halloween decorations in the area. And so he goes and asks people like, is it okay if they have a big display, he adds them to this map.

But he asked them like it for permission before he adds them to the Halloween lights map, the Halloween decoration map, right? I do like the idea of Halloween lights. Yeah, it's beautiful. Like just beautiful black lights. If everybody walks down the street, like going jogging, it's like, is that come? I see it in the Halloween black lights. Good.

But Justin, but what I'm saying is that he is suggesting like, is it it is a wild distinction to make, but is is is your light for you? Can I look at the can I look at these bad boys? But he's asking that these these two people are asking a neighbor like, hey, do you think it's cool if we add your neighbors? Well, who better they can't approach the house Travis with the Christmas lights on it without looking at the ding dang thing and they are not they don't want to do that if it's not for public and what are you?

Hey, you get away from here. This is for my kids. What they what they're asking is when you look at your neighbor's Christmas lights, how do they react? Yeah. Do they shoo you away and throw a big sheet over it? It's not for you. It's for little Dylan to make his Christmas magical.

You're using up all the magic with your foul eyes. Do you guys ever think about when you watch Home Alone, like how in our now modern age, how Home Alone could like never happen and basically every way start to finish? Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. Like I put a video doorbell and I was like, okay, yeah, this would stop him right there.

Also, how would Kevin make this doorbell electric to you people? It's just a video thing. Yeah, or, you know, Kevin, Kevin Pesci. Jesus Christ. We cannot record this podcast this early in the morning anymore because I just said Kevin Pesci out loud and I don't know who that is. Joe Pesci's brother. You've just doxxed someone.

He's doxxed a perfectly honest person. Oh, real Kevin Pesci. From Spokane. Kevin Pesci hacks your nest cams, sees all the damn traps. And then that's that's it. That's all there is to it. Or you just like FaceTime Kevin from France or wherever and you're just like, hey, sorry, we left you there.

You cool? All right, bye. Be cool, kid. So, I mean, the alternative is that they were casing the joint. Oh, absolutely. You've got to be constantly. Every time the FedEx comes and delivers my Blue Apron box, I know they're also like, as long as I'm here, I'm going to see where the valuables are,

which is why I'm always, every time anybody steps near my house, I got to rearrange where my valuables are and I got to rearrange where all the traps are. Yep. So annoying. And it's so annoying because I don't remember where the damn traps are and I got to send Rachel the map and then, you know, Henry's play zone. I sometimes the trap ends up there and we have to figure that out. And it gets very complicated because he loves the traps because they look very fun,

like fun toys. One of them is made out of a balloon, but the balloon's full of horrible, you know, human-dissolving acid. And balloon-preserving human-dissolving acid. Right. And so we have to. Well, humans and balloons are made out of different stuff, Justin. Yeah.

Read one book. And so got to remember which ones are the death balloons and which ones are fun balloons for babies. Let's see. And you know, here's the thing. Griffin people will say that you're being too cautious, but you've never been robbed. So. Never been robbed because of all my, they, I put up a sign also in front of my house that

says, great traps inside, move them around constantly. So don't even try bother to case the joint, Kevin Pesci. I feel like Occam's razor, if they were casing houses, they would probably come up with a pattern that is less baffling. They would probably have sort of a straight line, like, do you need us to clean your gutters or something that is not like inventing this whole idea of public Christmas? Or like, hey, here's your blue apron box. And you say, thanks.

And you take it inside. You set it down in the kitchen. You go to use the John or the Lou. And then Joe Pesci pops out of the blue apron box, steals all of your things. Where'd my Xbox One go? Damn it, Joe. Damn, Joe. And also, where's all my pre-portion ingredients I can use to make home cooked meals?

Damn it. I got double robbed. I don't have an Xbox to play Crash Bandicoot and all of my food from the blue apron's gone. What am I going to eat when I don't play Crash Bandicoot? You got to make sure that your blue apron box does not contain any live Joe Pesci's. Every time I get a blue apron box, I run my sword through it. You got to. Just to be sure, because he's going to eat all of your ding-dang fresh cilantro first.

And that's irritating to kind of go to the store to replace that. Daniel Stern doesn't even take the food out. He just rubs his nasty body all over it. And so you don't, you're like, my Xbox is gone, but at least my food's here. Cook it up, yum, yum, eat it. Wait a minute. This tastes like Daniel Stern's nasty body. Daniel Stern's hair post the events of Home Alone One is, I think.

Oh, I just thought about tasting Daniel Stern's hair. I just thought about getting a big mouthful at dude's head. And I, oh, gosh. Blue apron almost never has Daniel Stern's hair in it. Almost never. That's a blue apron, almost guarantee. Statistically speaking, I've never gotten Daniel Stern's hair in my blue apron box. Right there on the box, 99.99999% free of Daniel Stern's hair.

Now we do want to be clear, mostly for blue apron. We're not talking about a single strand of Daniel Stern's hair. It's a lot of, it would be a lot of hair. To get it to register on their sensors, it needs to be a considerable amount of Daniel Stern's hair. Several thick tufts. You have to assume if you're cut. You have to put that warning on there,

but then one box showed up just completely full of nothing. But Daniel Stern's hair. If you're portioning out goat cheese, you got to assume some of Daniel Stern's hair is going to get in there. I mean, that's just the reality of it. Well, and that's true of everything. Like everything you buy from the store, when you get a soda, McDonald's.

Peanut butter. All of it has some amount. Some Stern in it? Take a deep breath. There's some Daniel Stern in there. Right. I think it was Carl Sagan who said, we are all made of Stern stuff.

Yes. How about a Yahoo? I'd love that. I'd love that. It felt like we had reached the logical conclusion of the Daniel Stern jokes. Abigail love it. Sent this one in.

Thank you, Abigail. It's Yahoo Answers user. Conker the king. Can I just say, just a side note, it always makes me really happy when there's a new name of someone who likes Senate. I don't think I've ever heard Abigail's name before. And it's nice to know that there's new Yahoo soldiers.

Hey, listen, I'm very thankful for the great Yahoo's that everybody sends in week to week. And I hope nobody takes the recurring people who send them in, like getting on the show all the time. It is an art form. It is an art form to find these trash bags, but not just trash bags. Trash bags that perfectly fit the tone and nature of our show.

But Abigail love it, has done some great work here because Conker the king asks, why is Paul McCartney stingy? By stingy, I mean, why is he so greedy with his music to the point that he isn't letting people play the Beatles songs on YouTube? I know he has a right to his music just like all artists. However, being that the songs are a beloved classic

that is over 40 years old, he shouldn't be greedy that people love his music so much they are willing to want to listen to it. Yeah. He should be like other artists do, which is be grateful that people listen to his music and stop being so stingy, Paul McCartney. Yeah.

And this is not something I believe, and I need to go ahead and say that out loud because the streaming music industry has pretty much decimated the music industry as far as I understand it. And that's no good. And people, artists are completely entitled to receiving compensation for the hard work that they do

and pay an artist, quit expecting them to do everything for free. But I don't know why Paul McCartney won't let the great Beatles music be on YouTube. Let it be, you know? Just let it be, you know? Eight days a week, let me listen to it. Help me listen to it.

I'm not saying all artists, I have a problem with them. Just Paul McCartney. Just Paul McCartney is every time, excuse me? I, you try to hide it, right? And it's like, here's a fun clip of my family barbecue, but really paperback writers in there. And Paul McCartney, somehow, no matter how hard you try to bury the Beatles music, his music, these are my songs.

He knows. And at this point, it's just like, Paul, can't you just be happy that people like, like, what are you trying to do? Make money off of your music? Come on. The songs are so old, Paul. And beloved.

People like them. Isn't that enough for you? Isn't that an ad you use that? They're so old, Paul. Come, Paul's just like, Paul's just sitting on his throne made of money. And I'm trying to listen to these. I can't stress this enough.

Super old songs. And you're lucky that I'm even listening to your old music. Because I should be listening to new, hot, top 40 jams. But instead, I'm listening to your ancient scrawlings, Paul. It was recorded. That was recorded with like a bird pecking on stone. Oh, yeah.

To like, I know. And like Edison, Thomas Edison, like, looked up from the, you know, gramophone and gave him a thumbs up. He's like, coming out great, Paul. Every time I listen to a song that's older than 10 years old, which at this point encompasses a lot of the Black Eyed Peas body of work,

I get this dusty taste in my mouth. And the Beatles music's so old that I listen to, you know, back in the USSR. And I'm just like, oh, oh, God, it's so old. You're lucky. It's the song about a place that doesn't even exist anymore. You're lucky I'm listening to your old music. I bought a Beatles album.

And I immediately, of course, opened it up and upturned it to see all the web exclusive content behind the scenes footage that was going to fall out of it. And do you know how much did fall out of this record? None. What? Yeah. I was like, I was like, scouring it,

looking for some sort of Twitter handle on it that I could use to like thank them for the music and complain about the price. And there wasn't a single one. Like, do you want, like, where is the hashtag? Do you want me to tweet about this record or not? Because I'm not going to just make one up. Justin, how many YouTubers were like partnered

with them on certain songs and like featuring like some 12 year old YouTuber? Like there was a lot of that though, right? Here's the thing, Trav. It's going to bug you out. But unless Eleanor Rigby is like some hot tupper that I have not heard of before, I don't think it had like any YouTube people at all.

Yeah, you heard me. How they get people listen. I don't know. I mean, I felt like it was kind of an act of charity on my behalf, reinforcing the narrative. I went to a record store, which is basically like a retirement home for music if you really think about it.

And I picked up Paul's album, the fun title one that's like Dr. Pepper's Fun Time Jamboree, took it home to put it in my record player, opened it up, two bats flew out of it. Old, this old music guys, it's, and now it's a dangerous public health hazard. Because the bats, the bats fly into my traps and then they're deactivated.

And now I have holes in the reinforcements that the, you know, the blue apron thieves are absolutely going to know about. Like we don't pay Shakespeare when you do Shakespeare shows. Shakespeare is not like getting on YouTube like let me see who's quoting Hamlet and they're like product trying videos. Come on, Paul McCartney, you're basically Shakespeare.

You're both British, I think. Come on. Yeah, the Beatles Paul McCartney, who do you think you are, a Shakespeare? It's a bit of a stretch. You're a little full of yourself, a little high on the horse a little bit, Paul. Paul.

Paul. I did like your Halo song. The song you did for the Halo game that wasn't quite Halo was great. But Paul. It's very good. And again, artists should be paid for, I feel good to say this like 10 times,

artists should be paid for their time and energy. Yes, absolutely 100%. All of them don't steal stuff, pay people to do designs for you, pay people to do music for you, just not Paul McCartney. But Paul McCartney can be a little stingy sometimes when the Beatles great music.

And by great, I mean like really old, but good in like the old way where you're like, you know, you watch an old movie or hear old songs, like, I see what you're going for. If there needs to be like a Christmas carol where like three ghosts appear to Paul McCartney and they're like, hey, just let people use your music, Paul. And all music is good when you only view it

or listen to it through the lens of like, well, clearly it's not like Black Eyed Peas good, but Black Eyed Peas have 40 years of like extra learnings that they use to make their great music. I think the number one lesson that Black Eyed Peas taught us was don't put a year number in your song. Because then maybe 10 years later, 2008 won't be so new and fresh and impressive.

Sort of like the Ruben Stuttered hit, this is my sorry for 2004. Oh, don't you think Ruben kicks himself right in the shorts for not waiting another 13 years on that one? Gosh darn it. How about another question? Yes. I just got hired at a law firm for next summer

and the head partner invited me to a holiday dinner party with the rest of the firm's employees. The problem is I have to order my meal in advance. My choices of protein are crab cakes, chicken, or filet mignon with size of sweet potato fries, scalloped potatoes, or green beans. How is this at all a problem? This sounds dope.

How is this at all an issue? This will, let me fin, okay, listen. This will be my first interaction with the firm and I'm worried that picking the filet will come off too pretentious. What should I choose? The steaks, thank you, I've never been hired. Oh my god.

Okay, Griffin look at this though, right? Wait, oh. All right, they're nested. That's from Perplexed in the Clean Plate Club. Wow, Over Talk's gonna get way better on this show if Justin has a punishment button, which is Paul Stanley yelling at us to listen. What we've got here.

Toronto! Well, that one's not applicable, Justin. Sorry about that. I hit the wrong button. Okay, we've got a logic puzzle here, right? You have three protein options and you have to get them across the river but you only have one raft. The crab cakes will eat the filet mignon.

And you have three side options. And there is a right combination that will get you promoted before you even start working. Oh, shit. Right, but if you say crab cakes and green beans are like crab cakes, this is a young man who dreams of the sea. He's not going to focus on his job and you're like, oh, I want chicken and scalloped potatoes.

And it's like, ah, he thinks he's a simple man with simple desires. He has no dreams, he has no aspirations. And if you're like, I want flamingon and sweet potato fries, then it's like, oh, la di da. Look at Mr. High and Mighty filet mignon over here, right? Yeah, he must like the mignon movies. He's a child. Right, it's bad all around.

I would like to suggest, okay, let's all have our ideal combination. Here is what I would like to suggest. Green beans and then right in at the bottom, I will bring my own meat. Because that's somebody who is worried about the bottom line has sort of like culinary prowess because they are willing to cook their own food and bring it along. And it's somebody who never wants to do things by the company line. They want to think outside the bun.

Think outside the bun. Thank you, Travis. No, these foods have buns. Well, all of these foods are outside of the bun. Now, Justin, that only works if your dish you bring and you lift the little metal cover off of it and it is more impressively cooked and plated than what has been served. Oh, shit, fucking, yeah, I didn't choose my own meal because I brought my own.

Gordo. And then Gordon Ramsay is like, I wish you wouldn't call me that. And you're like, I can call you where the fuck I want to call you Gordon Ramsay. That's maybe the biggest power play that you have available to you. And you yell at Gordon Ramsay till he cries. If you can make Gordon Ramsay cry at this Christmas party, first of all, Gordo wants to be back in in the UK with his family during Christmas time. So you know that you're going to impress them because they're like,

wow, what's he got on Gordon Ramsay that he is able to pull him away from his beautiful family? My suggestion is this, you get the filet mignon with a side of filet mignon. Oh, and then you say two things. I'm hungry for advancement. You don't say that second part, but they'll know. And then you also say, I'm eating two filet mignons because I'm going to work twice as hard as any of these other bastards. You say all that.

You do say all that part out loud. This actually goes along with it. My Kobayashi Maru, which was you just check all of them. Okay. I will have the flaming on with crab cakes and chicken on top and a side of sweet potato fries mixed with scalloped potatoes and mixed with green beans. Thank you very much. Oh, yeah.

Because the summer is a long time away and you might not even get that job, but you'll have eaten the equivalent of three free meals. Oh, I see. Sort of a grift situation. Mark them all and then right at the bottom, please donate mine to hungry orphans. And they'll be like, oh, wow. Wow, that's a big play. Or you bring your own big bowl and you mush them all up into just one big nasty mess.

And then you eat that with your hands. And then the boss is like, I like his style. I'll have that too pretty soon. Can I have some of your nasty mess? Only if you make me the boss. Okay. Yes. Just write a little note on the card.

Please provide table blender. Because you'll definitely want that at any time. Just write in dealer's choice. That is the worst possible. Turn that choice right back on them. That is the dealer's choice will be no food, you get nothing, because they are not going to bother with that. That's true.

Don't mark a protein, but next to green beans, write seven. See if you can get a seven times. Huge, huge. Green beans, X7. People are going to remember that guy. You should call your boss and say, I had a quick question. What are green beans? Are these beans that you have dyed green in some way?

Mark sweet potato fries at stake, but next to green beans, put a question mark. Green beans? And then their boss will be like, well, green beans are these fun little pods full of these small weird nasty beans. And you say, okay, I've learned that. And now you've shown that you are quick to learn, ready for advancement, ready to go. Maybe just mark out the green on green beans and then mark that. So I want some beans of a different, whatever sort of variety you can dig up in the kitchen.

Yeah, and write it, mark it out and then write in scalloped sweet beans. Scalloped sweet beans with chicken cakes. You figure it out. I'm a fussy dude and I need chicken cakes or else I'm going to cry at the party. Turn it into sort of a logic flow. So next to chicken, right? If tenders, yes. If no, proceed to next option.

And then you just have like a sort of a flow chart to really make it as complicated as possible. Crack, crack. But that shows what frosting. Yeah, with buttercream, please. Could you just say, I'll pick, find out what your boss is getting. This is actually a great thing. Find out what your boss is getting and get the exact same thing or get something different.

And then at the party, you sit down next to your boss. This is so important. And you say, splitsies? Yeah, yeah, because he wanted all those options. He definitely is also struggled with this. And then insist on paying half the check for the whole table. And they'll keep saying like, no, the business is paying for it. And you keep saying like, are you sure?

Because I'll cover it. This one could be on me. It's like, you haven't even started working here. And you're like, okay, but you like really keep being insistent. But if at any point, there is a ripcord here. If at any point, the boss is like, okay, cool. You're like, no. I was lying.

I don't have a job here. I guess I don't get the job. That's a lot. That's far too much money. Don't mark any food, but at the bottom, make an option for lots of overdue paperwork. And so when everybody else is eating and just like the beef juice is dribbling down their chin, you'll be like hammering it away at all the shit Kathy left for the new year. Yes.

And you're going to be the one making everybody else look lazy. And you'll be the one digging the company out of the red and hoisting them by yourself into the black. Is that good? Red is bad, black is good. Red is bad, black is good. No one quite knows. Man, I'm fucking hungry.

Should we treat ourselves to a visit to the Money Zone to fill our wallet bellies? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't eat money, but sure. I mean, I do. First up this week is Bowl and Branch. Do you like to sleep? I like how you said that. Thanks, Trav.

I tried to put a good positive energy behind it. Bowl and Branch, Branch. If you like to sleep and I bet you do, you don't need to spend a fortune to get that beloved slumber. You can not get that slumber. You can check out Bowl and Branch. They're crafted from their sheets. Should start there.

Yeah, thank you. They're crafted from 100% organic cotton and they feel incredible and look amazing. The New York Times and Forbes rave about them and three U.S. presidents have them. So depending on which ones that's referring to, that could be really great. Or quite bad if it's one of the nasty prezzies. Or maybe not something you want to brag about. They're in their coffins. Try them for 30 nights and see for yourself.

If you're not impressed, you can return them for a full refund. Justin, can I ask you a question? Anything. Is Bowl and Branch just sheets? No, Travis. They have other shit. Whoa. So go to bowlandbranch.com today and you'll get $50 off your first set of sheets plus free

shipping when you use the promo code mybrother. That's $50 off plus free shipping right now at bowlandbranch.com. They make great gifts. They make great gifts. They make great sheets spelled B-O-L-L and branch.com. Promo code mybrother and go get that for yourself because you deserve it. Bowl and Branch promo code at bowlandbranch.com. Promo code mybrother.

I also want to tell you about Blue Apron. We talked about them a lot and we've had a lot of fun here. But odds are, like heavily in your favor, that Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern aren't going to hop out of a Blue Apron box and steal your Xbox. If they do, Blue Apron will buy you a new Xbox. It doesn't say that in the bullet points, but I have to believe that just standard human decency will sort of step in here. But they deliver fresh, pre-portioned ingredients and step-by-step recipes right to your door and

all those meals can be cooked in under 45 minutes. And the menu changes every week based on what's in season. And it's designed by Blue Aprons and House culinary team. I'm a big fan of Blue Apron because when I moved to Austin, I like literally basically had never cooked anything that wasn't frozen. And Blue Apron taught me how to cook. And it's a very valuable life skill that I am very grateful for. All the ingredients are high quality.

They send only non-GMO ingredients and meet with no added hormones. And right now, Blue Apron is treating my brother and my brother. My brother, my brother, what's her podcast? My brother, my brother and me listeners to their first three meals of $30 value with your first order if you visit blueapron.com slash my brother. So check out this week's menu and get 30 bucks off with free shipping at blueapron.com slash my brother Blue Apron, a better way to cook. Trap, you want to read this message?

I sure do. Garth Brooks is the number two selling artist in the U.S. But do you know anyone who's listened to a whole Garth album? Insane Clown Posse has dedicated fans. But do you know anyone who's heard a single ICP song? Join Cameron and Nathan and listening to artists that many people dismiss. It's a podcast called Think Outside the Boxset. Equal parts investigative journalism, cultural criticism and dick jokes.

Well, I mean, it's a podcast. So yeah, check out boxset.website. It's a real URL or search for us on podcast. Okay. Or your preferred pod catcher. I think iPod, what did it call? Apple. I have a picture of an apple here.

Oh, see, just as a picture of an apple. Tell me about the picture of an apple. We just got a box. It's a little black apple on mine. Oh, it's fine. Apple podcast or your preferred pod catcher. It's called Think Outside the Boxset. Sounds like a lot of fun.

Sounds like a hoot and a half. Sounds like a real cool shindig for hip people. This next one, I can't tell what's going on with the for and from. I don't know if it's a secret message or just like the coolest name I've ever seen. Somebody may have gotten confused when they were filling out sort of the metadata of the message because it says, who's this message for? And what they've put here is where, like W-H-E-R-E. Who's this message from?

Where? So it's possible they saw these questions were like, where do you want me to put this data? Where is this supposed to go? Where? Find the box. They did sign it. What's the message, Trev?

Are you fucking done yet? No, that's the message. Are you fucking done yet? Psy, probably not. Keep at it though. Books don't just make themselves. Just watch out for haunted dolls as you print. Those bastards will get you.

Thanks, bros, for keeping me laughing late into the work night. You guys are the best. Hugs. And they wanted that message in 2017. So some important stuff in here. Actually, they said that their preferred time frame is whatever's latest. I mean, this message is applicable until at least 2018. So they definitely like have a large window here.

I think this is a message for themselves, from themselves, to encourage themselves to finish the book they're writing. I love that. A lot of people, though, I don't know that book printers are some of the most haunted buildings ever. Oh, God, yes. We're doing the Taz graphic novel. And they were like, do you want to come by

and see the magic of books getting printed? And I said, nice try. Because once I step inside, my spirit will never leave because of the grudge. Yeah, well, I mean, I'm pretty sure that only ghosts work in the print industry anymore. What does that even mean, Trav? Well, got something.

What's it mean? Do you have a thing? Well, like, print is dying, I think. Not for books, bud. That's not what that means. What? Yeah, books are crushing it. Books are doing great.

Books are doing good? Yeah, but I'm pretty sure books are like... Books are back. Books are back. Wow. Hey, good job, books. Well, you can't really walk away from the thing you said. Good job, books.

I've always been a fan. Are stacks of unread books taking over your apartment? Do you constantly miss your train stop because you're caught up in reading? I'm Brea Grant. And I'm Mallory O'Mara. We party hard. And by party hard, we mean read books.

So join us every Thursday on Reading Glasses, a maximum fun podcast about reading and book culture. Get more out of your reading life. We'll help you conquer your to be read pile. Get out of that book slump. And squeeze more reading time into your busy day. Learn how to read better. Wow, that was good.

... Maybe Paul can help out with this one. I want a munch. Squ stad. Oh, shit. I want a munch. Squ stad. I want to munch.

It's a podcast within a podcast. This one is a little different from our normal, but we want to expand the scope for the show as we head into 2018. This one is a sweet frog. You know the sweet frog? It's a frozen yogurt. I've literally never heard of it. Sweet frog brings back Deck the Hall's Christmas spectacle. Sweet frog frozen yogurt is going to put on a real Christmas spectacle throughout the holiday season with a Deck the Hall's Benefit Nights Plural, that's important to keep in mind, hosted by participating locations from coast to coast. Okay, so here's the promotion. And I want you to really, as I'm setting the stage for this, I want you to really like sort of envision it. Church and school choirs throughout the country

have partnered with local sweet frog shops to host Benefit Night Fundraisers. These choirs will perform all the holiday favorites to help them raise much needed funds for local initiatives. To make these events even more special, sweet frog will produce a video Christmas card using a montage of local choirs performing all over the country. That video Christmas card will then be posted on all sweet frog social media outlets. So basically you go in everybody who's in the choir gets a free frozen yogurt, nice, count it, and all the sales from that night, a portion 25% of all the sales go to the charity while the choir is performing. Wow, 25%. Can you imagine? All of us at Sweet Frog love this annual event that gets us in the

Christmas spirit, says their CEO, Patrick Gallagher. It's a wonderful time of community fellowship. As people come together to celebrate Christmas, what better way to do that than enjoying the sounds of the season sung by local choirs? We are proud to showcase great local talent and support local churches and schools while helping our sweet frog owners generate some serious winter foot traffic. Okay, yeah, I have two problems. The first one is, can I just eat my fucking frozen yogurt? Please. It is I am sad. It is the holidays. I am alone. And I came in to eat some frozen yogurt and just try to like fucking chill. Have you ever, ever been in a frozen yogurt shop the size of which you thought, hmm, this is a place I would love to get blasted by jingle bells being screamed at me

by 40 people. Never, ever, ever, never. The other thing is 25%. That is so nice. Let me just real quick run the margins on frozen yogurt. Oh, that's right. It's 98%. What? How kind of you? You literally take cow stuff and add some sugar and then you sell it for $100. As somebody who's worked in the yogurt industry, I can confirm Justin's math on this one. This is also like somebody who's worked in the yogurt industry. Yes. The cold months are not necessarily the hottest time for a sweet frog or a yogurt land or the country's best yogurt. And so this feels like you're just trying to get us in the door. My main concern is that you know with the introduction of local church choirs, it ain't just going to be jingle bells. It's going to get,

there's going to be some J. Sue in the mix. J. Sue will come to play. And there's got to be, there's an important separation between church and yogurt. And I'm worried that this is blurring the line. So you know what though? I think it sounds maybe a little nice. Okay. Well, here's Holly Sylveas who is of Charlestown, West Virginia. Oh, hey. Thank you. Hey, hello. And Holly is going to be putting on a Deck the Halls event in her store. And here's the quote, we invited a local school choir of fourth and fifth graders to perform. Good. Good. Love this yogurt. Because it's kids, I'm anticipating a huge crowd, which is great. Children really shine when they have a chance to perform in front of an audience. So I want to pack the place out. We'll move tables out of the

way to make more room if needed. So she's really just like in this press release kind of thinking through. And also, so, okay, so I'm just going to enjoy my frozen yogurt while standing while I'll stay. I'll just stand then. So I'll just stand. I paid $9 for this frozen yogurt, but I'll go ahead and stand in a corner. Excuse me, little kid. Could you scoot over? I'm trying to get to the yogurt. I just, please just let me get my yogurt. And when was the last time anybody bought yogurt? I said, oh, I can't wait to sit down and enjoy this here at the yogurt place. As somebody worked in the yogurt industry, they'll do that. And it's just, it's like when you turn in a test at school and the teacher grades it right there in front of you. Because it's like,

oh boy, I hope they enjoy the work I've done there. Sometimes they'll look over at you and be like, too much crushed up Heath Bar. I'll be like, I'm sorry, I'll do better next time. Here's your money back. Praise Jesus. Love it. Love it stuff. I think this sounds nice. I like a good carol and I like carolers. And I don't know that this would necessarily make me want to go get cold cream in the cold, cold harsh winter Texas months. But I think it sounds sweet. And I think that Justin was mean for making fun of it. Let me side with Justin here because I think were I unprepared for this site to await me at my frozen yogurt shop. And I opened the door just wanting to grab a quick frozen treat on my way home from a hard day at the office. And I opened the door.

And there was like an army of children singing about Jesus. I don't think I'd think awesome. Now imagine instead Travis, you walked in and there was a man dressed in Halloween clothing standing alone on a stage while you enjoyed frozen yogurt. And he opened his mouth and I put my hand inside a toilet. Yeah, that would rule. Yeah, that would be very important. We're all very important. I mean, if we wanted to do a winter promotion, I feel like what would be dope is like, Hey, this is Griffin for sweet frog. I've changed. I've jumped over like the can you hear me now guy. And I'm a trader to the country's best yogurt. And there's a lot of shit you don't know about that brand. But anyway, I'm excited to announce for the cold

winter months, you got to have your frozen yogurt fixed. And that's why I've invented hot yogurt. And it's the new jam that you are just going to love and come, Hey, oh, baby, it's cold outside. Enjoy this hot yogurt. It's the new thing I've developed and it burns the mouth so, so bad. You have to, it'll be like an hour before you can really enjoy it and don't put any toppings in it because the toppings will be destroyed in this molten hot yogurt, this steaming plasma of yogurt. But it's better. A lot of people are serving you yogurt that has living things in it. And our yogurt is served at a temperature in which no living these cultures will be obliterated. There is no sort of gastrointestinal sort of benefits to be gleaned from this very, very,

very hot, burning, fiery yogurt. And in fact, quite the opposite, you will regret consuming it. Yes, because it'll burn all your insides out, it'll burn a hole right through you. And if that don't get you the asbestos cup is definitely not going to be good for the health. It's made a fiberglass, basically, and it's going to get in the hot yogurt. And there's nothing, we talked to the scientists and there's nothing we can do about it. How about a Yahoo? Yeah, please. Merritt Palmer sent this one in. Thank you, Merritt. It's from an anonymous Yahoo user. I'm going to call him the guy from the I put my hand inside toilet video asks, how many horses would it take to pull a horse trailer full of horses? Oh, shit. I'm so excited

to get in this question with you boys because we're going to say a bunch of dumb math stuff. But how many horses would it take to pull a horse trailer that is just Chaka block full of horses? Wow. It can't just be one to one, right? So here's the question. Here's what we need to establish first. We need to, what's the word tear the scale a little bit? Is that how you pronounce that? We got tear. We got to tear it, right? So how many horses does a horse trailer weigh? I'm going to say probably about six horses. You're saying sans horses, empty horse trailer. I think it's about six horses worth of weight. Okay. And you can probably get like a decent size horse trailer, maybe five more horses in it.

So that's 11 horses. Okay. Okay. Can one dude, you need 11 horses to pull 11 horses worth of weight or does the term horse power refer to the amount of jewels of force required to pull one horse against its will? Well, here's the question. And I think we have to remove this factor or else this will be here all day. And everyone's going to say like, well, with wheels on it, that simple machine makes it easier. Okay, cool. Thank you. Remove the wheel. We are in a pure logic scenario here where there is no wheel or like sled or we factor out the wheels and say the wheels will get you about two horses worth off. So now we're talking about nine horses. And that's a very, I just punched the numbers into Siri and she told me the wheels will counteract

the weight of about two horses. So now nine horses. Do we then need nine horses pulling Santa's sleigh tonight and bringing all the good boys and girls gift of horses? Or is that not how any of this works? Well, let's take, okay, Griffin, we've calculated the weight of the trailer, right? So now let's imagine 11 horses and each horse is riding on the back of another horse. Right. So you would need one horse per horse. This is a lot what you've just entered into the equation, which is horse stacking. Yeah, but you couldn't put two horses on one horse. It wouldn't fit. This is going to trick about that. This is going to trip you all out. Okay. I'm here to complicate things. I did a quick Google just to provide a little science. Okay. This is, this is

complicated, but a single draft horse, I don't know what that means, can pull a load up to 8,000 pounds. What? A draft horse is when you get on tap instead of in a bottle. Right. So get one horse out of a bottle, it can pull 8,000 pounds. How much a horse way? Probably about 4,000 pounds. Travis can Google that while I'm reading these facts. How much horse way? You don't have to say it. Don't use like your speech. How much horse way? Just go ahead and type it. There you go. Fine. Siri, how much horse way? So Griffin, if I told you one draft horse can pull a load up to 8,000 pounds. Yeah. How much would two horses be able to pull? 16,000 pounds. No. Wrong. Two draft horses. Can I guess? Can I guess? Yes. 12,000 pounds.

No. Can I guess? Can I guess? Can I guess? Can I guess? Yes. 20,000 pounds of raw horse material. No. That's incorrect. Can I guess? Can I guess? Can I guess? Yeah. Yeah. 45,000 pounds of horse. 45 pounds. 45 pounds. All right. Listen. Jesus Christ. What they can actually pull, and there's a lesson in this, and we're going to find it, what they can pull working together is not 16,000 pounds or double. They can pull 24,000 pounds. They can pull three times. They're usual by working together. Holy shit. Think about that. Yeah, because they build up momentum. Every action has an equal opposite reaction except for two horses, as the great law says from the Ten Commandments. And so then we, shit. Okay. So now we got 11 horses, right?

11 horses worth. Take off the wheels. That's nine horses. If it's a factor of tripling every time you add another horse, then three horses can then pull, let me run the numbers on this real quick, 72,000 pounds with three horses only. So they're dragging like a building behind them. They can definitely, if we get 10 horses and strap them to the earth, we can counteract the rotation of the earth and destroy everything. Here is where it gets worse guys. It gets more complicated. Two horses that have worked together for a long time, buddies get out. Good pals that like long time collaborators can pull, actually pull 32,000 pounds. What the fuck? Wait, as heavy, as they even can pull by themselves. So now we have to factor in like partnership.

The drift. Like these fucking horses are in the drift and they can pull the earth out of orbit. So you're telling me two horses, we're in a like a buddy cop scenario here. We're like two horses at first. They're both loose cannons. This horse is by the books and this horse is out there trying new shit. And at first they're maybe, maybe on a good day pulling 22,000 pounds, right? But then they start to see with each other like, you know, we're not so different, you and I. And over the years, they just get it well enough that suddenly they are 8,000 pounds stronger. It's amazing. You're telling, but that a ton, a US short ton is 2000 pounds. You're telling me that these two horses can pull 16 tons of raw, bloody horse meat. 16 tons. What do you get? It's just two horses.

Two horses. Two best friends. Two best, like best friend horses. How do you as a horse owner and owner of the most buck wild freight company ever make these horses become best friends so that your margins on oats or whatever get better? No, how do you stop them? This is terrifying. You can't stop them. You can't stop them. I guarantee farmers look out of their windows and they see two horses like, you know, we got to break each other. They're gonna fucking destroy our house. And we got to go break that up. We can't. Okay, a horse, an adult horse. I looked this up. Siri told me adult horse weighs between 840 to 2,200 pounds. So let's say, let's call it 16 as an average. 1600 pounds. So if these two horses are pulling 32,000 pounds and we use 1600 as an average,

we're talking about imagine looking out your window and seeing two brutal best friend horses pulling 20 fucking horses behind them. Oh, no, it's okay, guys. We've got it. We are long time friends. And we are going to pull all 20 of you in this trailer. And then the horse is like fucking high five because they also figured out how to do that because they're best best friends. Now, wait a minute, I did not factor in what did we say six horses worth of weight in a usual trailer minus two for the wheels. So that's 16 horses, 16 horses still 16 horses. That's a mate. So you're telling me it is more cost effective for two horses to pull 16 horses than to just have all 18 horses walk. All right, let me add one. Can I also add, by the way, that

we have now like completely, completely obliterated any value to the term horsepower? Because it is not, it is not a, I mean, are they, you know, 400 horsepower? Is that 400 horses? 400 horsepower would destroy the galaxy. Yeah, are they best friends? Are they like, have they worked together for a long time? Like, there's so many factors in this horsepower. Also, why are we talking about this as clean energy? Because two horses apparently in all compounds just have like six horses and you can power all of America. Why are we fucking with cars? Like, why are we even messing around with it? I'll, I'll talk about, hey, Elon, I'll hop on two horses. I'll get to San Francisco in like an hour and a half. Right? Why aren't horses pulling

my goddamn car? Yeah, why are we doing engines and gas and stuff? So if I, Griffin, am best friends with my horse, which I am, take real good care, make a big sweater for it with four leg holes, love my horse. If me and my horse try to pull a trailer, how much weight can we do? Because I think the horse gets the best friend buff, the best friend strength buff, and I obviously, it's going to be carrying most of the weight literally in this situation. Does it still get the extra strength from me, the horse's best friend? How much can you pull, Griffin? Probably about 4,500 pounds. Okay. If I really, if I, if I'm wearing my cleats and I can really dig in there. Okay, so Griffin can pull 4,500 pounds and the horse by itself can pull 8,000.

But it gets the best friend buff. So it gets the best friend buff. I'm going to say you can pull eight, together 18,000 pounds and that will, I absolutely can't keep up with my best friend, the horse. And I will be obliterated by this 18,000 jewels of horse trailer. You'll be ripped in half. I'll all be destroyed. At some point though, can't the best friend buff start to work against you? Like if one horse is having an off day, do you think there's a chance his partner horse, because they are such close friends, would be like, we're going to take it a little slower today. Like there are some days where it's actually worse than typical horse performance, because they do want to slow it down for their friend, or they want to enjoy,

they haven't caught up for a while, so they slow it down like no reason to rush, Chester. Because if like, if one of your horses is sick and you partner the other one with a new horse, and then the sick horse sees that and he's like, I thought we were best friends. And like now, now there's an issue of like, well, I don't want to partner with you anymore. Well, that's what blinders are for, to keep the horses from seeing when the other horses are becoming other best friends with other horses. Man, there's a lot that goes into this. You're in the horse trailer and the horse trailer is just not moving. Like what the fuck's up? And you listen to the two horses in front and it's like, that's my wife, Derek.

And it's like, oh, shit. All right. So I guess the answer to this is two, pretty much anything you want to haul. Yeah. Two good best friend horses can pretty much do it. And that's a good lesson for us. If we all, we don't just all need to work together, we need to start working together now. So our load will steadily increase that we can haul together as a people. Then how can we do that? Gang, gang, gang. 20 mate teens stronger together. Oh, that's not bad. Holy shit. That's really good. Because that was both was like romantic, but also mate in the way of like friends, but also like all working. Yeah, I was thinking about it platonically. 20 mate teens stronger together. We can, we, you can do, you can do a lot by yourself and you should and you got to try.

But with another person, you can pull 3,600 pounds. We have a lot of themes recently have celebrated self interest. Yeah, this one 30, 30, 30 mate teen for the, for the year 3,018. 20 mate teen, I just find a bud or several because it's positive, but it also goes along with that like mount up, ride or die. We're all in this together, fight together. I do wonder if you, this needs a particularly large Coda too, and that we're not incurred like, we're not trying to repopulate the earth and increase mating amongst its peoples. Well, what if we say it with like a British affectation? So every time you say it, it's got to be like 20 mate teen, 20 mate teen. And I don't know how we

write that out. With an oom lot. Yeah, oom lot in there. Okay. Folks, that is going to do it for us. Thank you so much for listening to our program. I'm ready to throw, I'm ready to throw my hat for 20 mate teen. We have, we've got to have the conversation. We can't just like leap into it. I thought we were. That was the conversation. It's a whole thing that we have to do. Can I give you this? We haven't even given people a chance to submit, submit yet. How can I, we can't, what about this subtitle though? 20 mate teen, two horses can pull 32,000 pounds together if they're best friends. Okay. There's something there. Thank you for listening. I wanted to give

another plug to MB, MB, AM angels, which is trying to raise money to buy people in the Tri-State area gifts. Here is an astounding update for you so far, but is it, and you still need to get in on this because there's still time. You can send donations to donate at MB, MB, AM angels.com. So far through the amazing, astounding listeners of my brother, my brother, me and the volunteers who are organizing this charity, they have been able to purchase 23 beds, four sofas, three dressers, a table with six chairs, and there's, there are 23 kids that are not going to be sleeping on the floor because of you. Thank you so much. Every year you all do this and it honestly means the world. So

you can keep donating, donate at MB, MB, AM angels.com. We try to thank everybody, but honestly, there's not thanks enough to be able to thank you for everything you've done on this joyous candle night season. 100% of the stockings have been claimed, but you can still donate. These organizations in our area are never not in need of your generosity. So thank you so much for anything that you can do. The fact that you all have done all of this for our hometown means more than I think we will ever be able to. Generosity is good and pure and amazing, and we celebrate it in all its forms, but the fact that because our podcast listeners are so incredible, like people in our hometown receive this incredible gift, it is beautiful beyond

sort of description. So thank you all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you also to John Rodrick and the Long Winters for the use of our theme song. It's a departure off the album, putting the days to bed. Very good song. We're so thankful for that as well, and to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. You can go to maximumfun.org and check out all the great podcasts there, shows like The Beef and Dairy Network, and Lady to Lady, and stop podcasting yourself. If you haven't been paying attention, Max Fun has added a lot of new shows in like the last six months. A ton of new shows. Go Fact Yourself, Switchblade Sisters, Storybreak. There's Heat Rocks. There's all kinds of new

shows on there that you need to go check out. Yeah, Heat Rocks is good. Y'all check that? It's a good one. Check out. You have somebody on there to just tell their jam. What's their jam? It's great. It's a great job. Also, San Francisco Sketch Fest is coming up. January 14th, Schmaners is going to be there. Me and my wife Teresa do a show called Schmaners. We are going to be performing January 14th at Sketch Fest. And if you've never been to San Francisco Sketch Fest, it's amazing. It's like in one weekend, you can see more shows than you would see like all year. It's incredible. And you can find that at sfskatchfest.com. And also Schmaners is going to be on the Jococruz. And I think there's still a few cabins available

if you want to come out and hang out on a boat for a week and see some awesome performers and hang out with awesome people. You can find out about that at jococruz.com, jococruz.com. Uh, y'all went that final? Hit me. It was sent in by Brig Woltgen. Fantastic name. Thank you, Brig. It's another anonymous user. I'm going to call this one also the guy from, I put my hands on it to a video, asks, if I get my life saved by a frog, will I turn into a frog? My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother and me kiss your dad square on the lips. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.

I'm Allegra Ringo and I'm Renee Colbert and we host a podcast called Can I Pet Your Dog? Renee, can I tell you about a dog I met this week? I wish that you would. In turn though, can I tell you about a dog hero? May I tell you about a dog breed in a segment I like to call Mutt Minut? I would love that. Could we maybe talk about some dog tech? Could we have some cool guests on? Like Lin-Manuel Miranda, Nicole Beyer and Ann Wheaton? I mean, yeah, absolutely. I'm in. You're on board. What do you say we do all of this and put it into a podcast? Yeah, okay. You think? Should we call it like, I don't know, Can I Pet Your Dog? Sure. All right. What do you say we put it on every Tuesday on Maximum Fun or on iTunes? Sounds good to me. Meetings over.