My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 387: TWO THOUSAND AND LATE-TEEN

Episode Date: January 2, 2018

That's not what we ended up calling the year, by the way. Though, following our grand tradition, we did end up spending about 20 minutes trying to figure out the definitive them for 2018. So ... enjoy that? Suggested talking points: The Naming of 2018, FacePics, Twice at the Denny's, Fresh Butt Dead Drop, Mail vs. Garbage, Locked Cold Room Mystery

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, welcome my brother, my brother, and me at Advice Show for the Modrin era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, Travis McElroy. And I'm your new year's baby in sweet 30 under 31, Griffith McElroy. We're Modrin than ever. Oh yeah, baby, we're in those sci-fi years now.

It's the most Modrin we've ever been. People say we weren't gonna make it, and we did. Looks like we made it. Who said that? I want a naysayers. Point them out. Name them one by one. Name names. Alan Alda. Alan Alda said that? Damn, I don't want to burn Alan Alda, but if he's talking a bunch of shit about our ability to make it, then... Yeah, he doubted us, and I guess we showed him. You know what? It buzzed me out especially, because I just talked to him a week ago, and he was like, I always said you guys would make it.

That's the two-timing. That's the thing. Wow, you know, way to start 2018 off on a bad foot to find out that Alan Alda is a two-faced son of a gun. I feel a little at sea, though, gentlemen, because we are in a new year, and yet in a sense we aren't. In a sense we are still in a sort of limbo, because we have not sort of thematically found what this year is going to be about, so we've had a lot of people tweeting at us. And I'm not sure that they've necessarily helped us. If only anything, they've added more sea by giving us a billion very good suggestions of what the year should be.

Just listen, I can't stress enough how much I appreciate the participation which everyone has put forth, but rhyming teen with things is easy and could apply to any year. Serpentine worked because it's like 17, but serpentine. Even that was a stretch. I think we could all enjoy it. That was a stretch, but you can't just say like 28 clean, because that could be... That could be anything. Like that could be this year or next year. I guess 2020 would have... I wanted to float one, and we didn't talk about 2020 is going to be looking forward.

That's not what 2020 means, but sure. Clear vision. I want to float this one, because we didn't talk about last time, but I think it's powerful. I think it has power, and it is 2018. And it's like the Black Eyed Peas song, but it's obviously been 10 years since that tune. And we're all really looking forward to the anniversary. I don't think I speak for all of us. The reunion. They're going to blow the horn of Gondor, and the peas will get back together in the same way. William and Taboo and Ferguson.

Here's one from Percival Press who says, 20 trampoline, time to bounce back. Now, when you sent that one in, did you know that you were going to change my life on a personal spiritual level? Because maybe this is the year we get specific about it, and it's like, this is it. Go buy a fucking trampoline and get hot. 20 trampoline, higher and higher. Now, I will say, I did just say that this is just rhyming the teen part. 2018, we're going fishing. That's what Tyler Petty says. Is that like a literal, literally going fishing or is this like cat fishing? I think a lot of parts of fishing seem chill to me. The one I can't do, I'll fuck up a worm.

I don't care. But when the fish is on the hook, I can't close that deal. What do I do with this slimy fella? It's a big worm. If you think about maybe it's a big worm with eyes and mouth, it'll help, but no, it won't. And I can convince myself that that worm has done some shit, you know what I mean? But I look at a fish and I'm like, that fish has never hurt a soul. It's never done anything wrong. It might be somebody's grandpa with a bunch of stories that they got dropped down in the water, transfigurized. Right, or it could be Don Knotts. You never know. It could be Don Knotts. Most fishes are. Also, there's obviously people are going to take that one and run with it in a sort of masturbatory direction. And

that's its own, that's its own can of worms to continue talking about. Can we go there just one step further? Do we already talk about 20 Master 18? We should. 20 Master 18 is achievable. Easily achievable, I would say. I want to try to avoid, what I liked about serpentines is very personal. And I think that we want to, I don't want any that could be easily disappointing. Which one was building bridges? 20, 16 building bridges. Okay, that required actually two people on either end to sort of like get it done. You know, nobody builds a bridge from one end and then. But that's good. I would argue that we need to move back in that direction as opposed to having more years about individual distrust of the system and almost

Neil Breen-esque distrust of the system. And more of like where we can get, I'm just guys, I can't get away from this image of two horses getting doubly strong or triply strong because of their friendship pulling this big cart we call life. A few people have suggested 20 Gay Teen, which I love, except for it is phonetically indistinguishable from 20 Gay Teen. And I don't want people to think that we're kind of putting up putting up barriers. Now I like this one from Warrior Princess who suggested 20 Blade Teen, the year of Wesley Snipes. Just everybody's specific. That's some specific. Everybody can get into Wesley Snipes this year. Also 20 Slay Teen, but that could break bad pretty fast, I think. Pretty quick. Yeah,

that's the problem with a lot of the oddities. Apparently eight rhymes with a lot of sort of, I mean, hate, like it rhymes with a lot of words that I don't think we want to make the sort of. 20 Skate Teen, bringing back Rollerblades. 20 Skate Teen, back from the brink. 20 Skate Teen, back from the brink. I feel like I'm really fucking good at coming up with the subtitles and really bad at coming up with the year names. Now somebody, because we did talk about like Mount Up, and somebody suggested 20 Regulate Teen, and I'm sorry that I can't remember. Or just Regulate. No, we got, I mean, we got a billion people saying like, how could you not say Regulate Teen after saying Mount Up as much as you did. Yes. And I don't know that that's the

right spirit of the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have one that I'm very enthusiastic about. Okay. Because I can't, like I said, the horses, that's very much our thing. Pulling carts, working together, friendship, love. Last, last episode, or last non-live episode, I suggested 20 Mate Teen, Stronger Together. And we got a lot of tweets from people concerned about 20 Mate Teen being sort of the thing, because it sounds like almost a Paul Ryan-esque sort of challenge to increase. I did mention that specifically in the moment, I believe. Yes. So how about this, and we've gotten this from a lot of people, I can't claim credit for it, but I think it's kind of great. Collaborate Teen, Stronger Together, because that can mean anything. That just means two hearts,

two minds, two souls, or more. Many souls, many hearts and minds. It is a point to me, Griffin, that it does not mean anything. It has to, we need to give it some sort of boundaries, I think, for it to be an effective, I do like Collaborate Teen. Well, that's it. It could mean, it could mean like creatively, if you have a thing that you want to do that you struggled with or been hesitant to do, get somebody else. So like-minded individual on board who can help you like fulfill your dreams. It can also mean like get involved with something that's important to you. Maybe let's go fucking rain fire down on the midterm elections, just a fucking biblical reckoning on those, on them shits. I'm very into that. Collaborate Teen, we're stronger together. You're strong alone,

but we're stronger together. It could be collaborating as far as like, as Griffin said, creativity, or like, you know, like social action. But it could also be like accountability, you know what I mean? Like having a friend that you like keeps you on track of your writing project, while you keep not necessarily working together so much as just like that like horse working- It is necessarily working together, it is. But that's not saying, it doesn't have to be working together on the same project, so much as it could be working together to help one of you- To help one another become stronger, validate one another. It's good stuff. Validate Teen is pretty good.

From John, who says, navigate Teen, all hands on deck. I love that. I love sailing. I love nautical, that sort of vibe. What are we navigating though? Just life choppy waters. Just navigating it. We're just navigating it. This big blue spaceship we call Earth. I'm, listen, I'm willing to throw my hat over the fan, my weight behind- Why did you just throw a hat at Collaborate Teen? I don't know, but I'm willing to throw my support behind Collaborate Teen. I think that's my Huckleberry.

Because not only do I like the spirit of it, I also like that we wouldn't have to say 20 at the beginning of it every time. Yeah. Which I think is a little played, a little played at this point, and we're gonna keep doing it for the next, what? In 82 years? And then when 20, yeah, when 2118 rolls around, we can just do it again. Yeah. So I think Collaborate Teen, stronger together. And then just a picture of a bunch of horses pulling the world out of orbit. Yes. Maybe pulling it so that global warming is not an issue anymore.

Pulling it away from the sun. Yeah, we moved one degree over, one centimeter out of orbit. That's how we're gonna fix this whole thing. Just get a little bit further away from the sun. Not very far, but just a little bit far. Not very far. Which I actually think will give us like one more day a year. There's just like a rest day. Yeah. I actually think that that's a future Rama plot now that I'm thinking about it. But anyway, stronger together.

Justin, do we have a consensus? I just want to make sure we've thought about all the different things. Well, hum a few more at us, big boy. Do you guys know what spate means? I don't, but I thought there might be something there. I think it's like a fight. No, that's a spat, isn't it? Okay, spate is a large number of similar things or events appearing and are occurring in quick

succession. I mean, this is nothing. That's nothing. Okay, let me pitch one out that we did talk about earlier that I wanted to like, wanted to give one more chance here. 20 slates clean. I still have the same reservations about it and that I don't want anybody to start over. I don't want anybody to start over. That's the sentiment that might have carried us into 2017 or like, boy, 2016 sucked.

2017 slates clean. Let's do this thing. And 2017 was like a dump and it dumped all over. And then it was like, wow, I wish I hadn't had a clean slate. I wish I'd had some of my some of my experience points left over from the previous year to help to help, you know, bolster me going into this new game. Plus 2018, we're a little bit wiser. Now we know it's time to it's time to, you know, it is this collaborating or 20 collaborating?

Because I 20 collaborating is such a vicious mouthful. It actually stung my mouth to say it. I think collaborate team. But it's like, now, what about I'm adjusting it? Can I take your idea and just put a little spin on it? Sure, not my idea, but go on blank slate team. And it's just all about the movie blank slate. Let me hit you with this blank check team.

How about captive 18 can't look away from what? Now, once again, that's a that's a good turn of phrase, I guess, but not super actionable as far as what to do this year. Aspirate team. Just breathe. No, that's right. Is when you choke on your own vomit. Well, you have it after that.

Aspirate team. Fluoridate team. Nope. Keep those teeth. No. German 18. Watch it grow. Watch what grow?

This is the thing you keep referencing these arcane subjects. Lubricate team. Get it wet. Geez. God, now hold on. We have something here. Don't get wet yet. You might be wondering the year.

Get the year wet. Just a sloppy, slimy year. Mackin' 18. Watch the gears turn. No. Okay. Once again, what does that mean? What?

It means devise a plan. Devise a plan and watch it. Watch the gears grow. Get it wet. Elucidate team. Becoming clear. Wait, no, that makes a sound like we're we're scientists becoming Scientologists.

Hey, maybe maybe this is it. Maybe this is the year. This is the year. Relocate team. 20, 2013. Time to audit. Is this something with like Illuminate, but it's about Illuminati?

I mean, yeah, I mean, but that's literally all you just said, and it wasn't much. Okay. All right. I think the collaborate. We've done our due diligence at this point. Collaborate team, I think, is the standout. So I think we can officially say it at this point that this year,

the year of our Lord, 2018, has been redubbed. Collaborate team. And you don't got to do this. You don't got to do this today. Who is our Lord that was born 20,000 and 18 or whatever years ago? Who? What Lord are we referencing here? The one true Lord Jesus of Nazareth.

Wow. Okay. I thought there was going to be a joke in there, but there's no joke. There's only Jesus of Nazareth, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. The true Christian God. Wow. A strange twist of a strange sort of. Okay.

Is this our, is this our ICP twist? Yeah. The lamb guys, the lamb. The big one, the big guy. So we should make it clear. Jesus. Yeah. You don't got to do this.

Emmanuel. Him. All right. You don't got to do this right now. I feel like that's the problem with our mottos is people are like, it's January two. I need to start zacking right now and you get burned out and you don't follow through. It's just think about it.

Think about what you could do. That could be improved with the help of another person or, and how you can help them. That's what's all about. This is how I see it working best, right? This is how I think all of our years should be implemented moving forward. I think that this is something that when you find yourself in a situation, right, where you would normally say no, or you would normally do something by yourself, or you would normally, whatever.

I want you to hear in your head, collaborating. And you say, no, you know what? I could use some help. Thank you for asking. Don't feel free to reach out. That's what I'm saying. So like that, I don't want it to be like, okay, guess I got to go. I don't want you to have to feel that way.

You can if you want to. But instead, I want this to be that little, you know, the pebble in the stream that just changes the current a little bit for you. Perfect. Right. That's that's how I think it is most actionable as a gentle guide to your year. I would love to collaborate with you to and listen to do the podcast that we do sometimes. Oh, okay.

She's kind of rushing it, but let's get into it. It's been 20 minutes. We take your questions and turn them back into wisdom. It's an advice show, as you almost certainly guess. My friend is kind of an awkward guy when he doesn't know how to reply in a text, tweet, post or chat. He will throw in a random emoji. I think he thinks it's funny, but it's not at best.

It grinds the conversation to a halt and force the other person to pivot awkwardly, because it doesn't make any sense. At worst, the emoji he chooses end up being kind of insulting. For instance, today I asked him what I should get a mutual friend for their birthday. And he replied with a snoring emoji, which was super rude. I told him off and he didn't get why I was mad because it was just a random choice for him. How can I teach him the art of emoji use or even better, get him to stop? And that's from exhausted by emojis.

I think 2018 collaborates stronger together. Pull the world out of orbit. It's all very important. But I would love to have sort of a secondary thing going on where we ban the use of the word emoji. And we try to find a different word for these little guys. Because icons is good. Face cons, tiny pictures, tiny pics, little guys.

Are you worried because emojis sound so much like emotions that some people might be confused that emojis is new teen slang for emotions as I was back in 2013? Absolutely. This is a boy. What a problem. The problem here is that clearly the emojis being chosen, excuse me, the tiny pics being chosen are not random enough.

Like, what should we get our friend for a birthday? You're going to want to use that little, like the cable car that hangs from the wire that goes between Mountain Chalets and Switzerland. Right? That's random. No one's ever going to get offended by Skytram car. I, it drives me crazy when the keyboard on my iPhone tries to autocomplete with a picture.

Like, I type in bread and it meant like, did you mean a picture of bread? And it suggests that to me. Like, no, I actually didn't. I'm kind of 37 years old. So I'm just going to keep using words for now. If that's, I did the last thing I was the person on the receiving end of the shopping list, I have to solve a fucking rebus to know what I need from the store. And that is what this person, I get having social anxiety and even in sort of telecom

scenarios, definitely, because my go to is just not responding at all. And I don't know what is worse in this situation. Not responding or responding with this sort of random, a random sort of piece of art for them to interpret. Because I think that's even a little bit more annoying than just like, oh, well, Griffin's anxious and not responding to this. My worldview on all this really shifted when I found out one of the emojis means dick. And I think after that moment, I really had to start getting more careful.

I mean, you can't randomly choose emojis when one of them means penis. And one means butt. Yeah, the peach one is a fanny. So what I'm confused about is why, how eggplant got picked for this and not the hot dog. Did we have a vote? I don't remember voting on this. Wait, is the hot dog emoji just a loose hot dog or is it not in a bun? No, it's on a bun, but I mean, it's you get the idea.

I would have thought it'd be banana or a cucumber. The problem is hot dogs come up in conversation all the time. I'm very rarely talking about eggplant, but I can't have a conversation about ballpark snacks where like, people think that I'm being weird. Do you want to go to the game and get a penis? A penis, yeah. I guess the context does help there. But I guess you don't really use the word eggplant as much as you use hot dog.

And that is me. Unless you live in like Italy and where they eat those dang little purple guys all the dang time. And you think over there, people turn text and just like, yo, why are you talking to your own mom about dick? And it's like, no, it's about dinner tonight because we are eating an eggplant parmesan. It would also probably be a problem if you're just a huge fan of Captain N. And you're just like constantly recounting- Jesus Christ, Travis. What's wrong?

What happened, Griffin? It's just you've, you've, you've, that's a very obscure reference, my boy. I would like to go back in time now and watch the Captain N cartoons and think of King Eggplant, what was he? Eggplant Lizard. Eggplant Lizard. Eggplant Lizard is a penis. Yeah.

As a representative, excuse me, as a metaphor for a penis. It's actually from Kid Icarus, which I get, if you think, look at it that way, it's an angel just blastin' dongs non-stop, which maybe that game had more sort of heavy religious undertones and we gave it credit for it. I actually think you guys, Kid Icarus, I really feel bad for Eggplant Lizard. The day he found out about the whole penis thing. Cause that's like- That's my whole brand. Like his whole brand's kind of wrecked.

He's got, he's got an Eggplant like on the end of his staff. Like that's ridiculous now. And you know, there was probably a delay, too, where he was just like, I don't know what this new surge in popularity has been. What's that? Oh, I'm a, I'm a penis now. Shed a tear for the ice climbers who are climbing this whole dang mountain when they get to the top to get the, the penis emoji at the top of it.

And they, they didn't own that. That wasn't their choice. So should we talk about something accessible? Yes, please. How about a Yahoo? Yeah, it sounds good. I need to tell you guys something about Yahoo right now on January 1st, 2018. Um, it's fucked.

The website is full blown Y2K kernel panic fucked up bad. Is this gonna be the year we lose it, you think? If this is, if this is any indication, then the website has reached, it has crossed the event horizon down the, the, the internet drain. Because I'm looking at it now. All the elements on the page are aligned in a single column, meaning they're all just on top of each other. Meaning I can't read a lot of it, which was difficult.

I had to like pick questions that didn't have a lot of additional details. Wait, and this was like all of the questions. Everything, the website, it's fucking gone. Y2K hit it 18 years late. It's fucked up bad. So I have a question here that I'm very drawn to, because I can't read any of the additional details about it. And with that in mind, I want to dive into this one.

Abby's sending in. Thank you, Abby. It's from, I don't know. It's covered up, but it's asked by a person who's named, I'll call them Ronaldo asks. Can I eat twice at Denny's? What does this mean? Does this mean can I eat there twice in one week or twice in one day? Or how I like to interpret it.

You've just ordered and completely eaten either on a dare or voluntarily, you know, a Denny's egg mess. And then they say, here's your check and you pay it. And they bring it back and they say, all right, you have a nice day. And you say, actually, hold on a minute. I think I'd like to go again. Yeah. I think I'd like to go again.

And you can walk me back up to the host table and walk me back down to either this seat or a different seat if you'd like to. But I think I'd like to do a Denny's again. Can I go one more again? One more again, please. One more Den? And I'm wondering why not just order two entrees in the same. Nah, it's twice at the Denny's.

Bring me the check for round one. Let's fire it up again. And let's see. And I want to compare and contrast, you know, certain elements of service. I might do you order the same dish again and just check their consistency. Because at Denny's, when you get the egg mess, I imagine consistency is not a top bullet point sort of strength when you when you guys go out to eat and you order, right? And the server person takes away your menu.

Do you ever feel this moment of completely irrational panic when they take the menu away? Every single time. Absolutely. Especially if they have, this kills me when they have a lot of fun cocktails. And they're like, actually, I'm going to drink more. So go ahead and leave that with the table, please. Or, you know, cool pictures of food and people eating them that I might just want to enjoy during my meal.

And recreate. And recreate with my great friends. Especially if they have a lengthy dessert section in the menu. And I'm just like, but I don't know if I want that yet. OK, so we'll have that right out. Let me grab your menus. Well, hold on a moment, because I seem to have fallen in love with one of the people inside the menu.

And I need that. I would love to have them here with me, dining with me. I'm going to cut them out and Lars and the real girl them. Do you have the contact info for your menu models? Do you think it's because they don't want you to compare the pictures of the food? That is definitely. Do you see that? That's right.

That's right. Absolutely. I mean, if you should just accept that if you're eating at a restaurant with pictures of the food in the menu, it ain't going to look like that. They're not going to get it, right? They're not ironic, isn't it? Yeah, they are always off put when you're like, well, actually, I'm going to hold on. Oh, you're going to.

OK, OK, well, I guess let me. OK, well, I'm going to have to check with my manager. And here you'd need to because you need to plan for round two during round one. I'd like to do Applebee's again. They should really have enough menus for everybody to enjoy a menu while they're at the restaurant. Why don't they have enough for everyone? This one's this one's mine. You borrowed it to me for the entirety of my meal.

Well, I'll tell you before anybody tweets to this having worked at the restaurant industry is because people are horrible monsters and if you leave their menu with them, they will never really get food in it and stuff and ruin the menu. That's why so many menus are laminated. But that's my fucking right. That's my that is my God given right inalienable given to me in the Bible to ruin the menus at the restaurants I go to. What about this?

Print it off piece of paper, right? When you hand it to someone, when you sit them down at the table and you hand it to them, you say, that's yours to keep. Yeah, yuck it up. Here's yours. Here's three crayons. That's it says Todd at the top. That's yours.

Here's three crayons. Have fun. Go to town. And you know, when you see kids menus that do do this, Travis, by the way, you've just invented kids menus and you see them coloring on it and not really engaging in conversation with everybody else at the table. You know, you look at them like, oh, damn, that looks fun. Damn, that looks good.

They got this whole activity there to do. Oh, I love I love it. I never doodle and I never do little jumbles. I would love to do a jumble right now. How's that? Talking about my, you know, my friend, how it's going at work. How good would it be if people started the like awkward dinner conversation and you looked up like, I'm halfway through my maze.

So pump the brakes. You're going to have to circle back a thing which I cannot do because I keep running into all these dead ends. We're so off topic about double, double time, double food. Can you? Yes. Should you? Yes. Next question.

Can you? Do you have to go to the back of the line? Or can you like, do you get preferential treatment because you're kind of a repeat? I feel like if there's a line long enough that you would have to wait, you might talk yourself out of it while you're in the line. I can't imagine how I would feel as a Denny's employee if a customer finished. Oh, thank you very much. Oh, sorry, I'm built.

Okay, great. Thank you. Stood outside silently, but like mouthing the words, counted to 60 and then walked back in and said like, one for Denny's, please. Yeah. Like, I think I just called the police. Yeah, for everybody in the situation, that would probably be the best sort of outcome. Do you think Denny themselves would show up at that point and say like,

you've done it, you've solved my puzzle. The empire is yours. Now you're in charge of Denny's. You know the story about the boy who got all of the Denny's he wanted. Yeah, they get his stomach pumped. You didn't finish your first egg mess, you get nothing, good days. My big worry would be that the freshest big boy would be watching from across the street. Like, that's painful.

It hurt enough that you went one time to over to Denny's, but he knows that you're full now. Like, you don't even want to come see what I have to offer. I thought I was your big boy. I thought I was your big boy, you said. You said I was your big boy. The other night I ripped my pants at a local bar. That's not me, Justin, talking, although it very well could be. Except for me being at a bar.

I guess I stayed until the end of the event I was watching. How much do you have to rip your pants to leave immediately? Is this a condition that you can quote pull off? And that's from Split Decision in KC. Man, I don't want to get too Andy Rooney on it, but like, I've seen pants in all kinds of different states of both array and disarray. And just not question the fact that it was like a legitimate style decision. And so I feel like I'm not the best person to ask this question,

but I do want to state that right now, and last night at the New Year's Eve event, I am and was wearing my ripped pants. I ripped on an episode of my brother and my brother and me. I can't let these things go. I love them. I'll never let go. What? When did you tear them?

When he was trying to pull his pocket. I was trying to pull my pocket towards the pants. And this is a small hole, and I think that's acceptable, although you can if you look very closely, see me on these. The question stands, how far would you have to rip your pants before just sitting down until you're done isn't an option? Well, if it's on your butt, you can sit down for as long as you want, because that's where the butt is.

I don't know if you know that, Trab, but the butt is on the back, and it's where the seat goes. That's a great point about where the butt is. That is where the butt is. The butt's on the back, and that's also where chair goes. I think my pants would have to rip from my waistband above my butt all the way around to the waistband at the front. Travis is right. It's going to have to be a logistical issue.

It's going to have to be a cold, comfort issue. If it is no longer comfortable because you're letting too much of the elements outside, inside, and your shit's not freshness locked, then I think it's probably time to get up and go. Right. If they've become chaps. Yes. If at any point they become chaps and you didn't make that decision before you left the house, then it's probably time to get in the car and go home. I was actually thinking about this because now since having a baby and carrying around

a diaper bag that has changes of clothing and stuff in it, I thought about why do we ever give that up? Why do we ever give up having a backpack that's just like, yeah, at any given time, I have another pair of pants and another shirt in there, just like whenever. Right? My life becomes way more rough and tumble the older I get, it seems. Does it? No. What's going on? No, come on.

You can't just say a bunch of shit. I eat a lot of strawberries, and I just get really to them, you know? All right, so Travis is a big, yucky brown bear. Just make it a mess in the Brambleberry patch. This is not the first time we've had a question about someone ripping their pants. I'm like, what do I do now? And the thing is, I understand this because this happened to me once when I was working at Best Buy and I ripped my khakis and I had this moment of like, well, here I am.

Well, then let me suggest this. Instead of a backpack, instead of a backpack you carry around everywhere, which that's an issue because somebody's like, uh-oh, Travis's backpack looks a little bit thinner. So I'm wondering what happened. They're going to assume it was a dookie mistake. And you don't maybe necessarily want to own that. Instead of that, a backpack that you carry around everywhere, because a lot of places won't let you in with a backpack

because they think you're a thief. And they won't say that to your face, but I will. Instead of a backpack, what about a series of dead drops located in some of your most frequent pants? So you're good at your local, your local bar's a great place for this, because the local bar, um, like dookie mistakes probably aren't even like the number one thing here. It's like a spilt, spilt, just drink spilled. Nacho cheese whoopsies, maybe.

Some cherry, some escaped cherry from some sort of- Oh, the bartender was doing a frickin' trick and the cherries went and landed right on your pants and it makes it look like a, you know, a nasty stain. And so you go to the dead drop that you have in the bathroom, duct taped to the back of the toilet chamber, like in Godfather. But instead of pulling a revolver out that you'll use to kill two men, you pull it just new pants.

That you use to kill two men. No, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, wait, sorry. Don't kill, don't kill with your pants. That's why this is my work. This is my place. And then under this one particular box of this one, you know, household device that I know nobody ever uses, nobody's ever gonna buy one of these things,

this jalopy. It's just full of new pants that I can use in case of a stain. If I was gonna do it, I would do this for underwear. Because I think that the odds of me ruining underwear are immensely higher. Well, they're the first line of defense, right? That's it. They're the 300 phalanx protecting the captain. I think it would ease a lot of anxiety in my part if I knew that, like, if my day,

you know, was sort of run a little long and I needed a little get up and go, just the ability to just throw on some clean undies, I think would be huge for just my whole mental state. Oh, okay. I'm gonna pitch this because this is what I think I would both need and appreciate it most. From now on, whenever I attend some sort of convention, I'm gonna duct tape a fresh pair of me undies and socks somewhere in the convention for next year. And then I'll just know that they're there.

I mean, why fucking stop there? New undies, new socks, like nourishing face mask that you can just, like, get in the toilet stall and just, like, plop that on and a little, maybe, like, a little, you know, five-hour energy drink or actually something that is good. Something good. A bottle of water. A bottle of water that you can use to just sort of freshen up. And then you come out and you're just a new person.

Hello. How's it? Wow, you seem, what's, it must have had a great bathroom trip. You can say that. Are you talking about a big shit you took? I don't know. Why are you, I'll never tell. Why are you making it to camera?

Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Care package secured. Self-care package. Self-care package. That's what we call it. Now, where would you guys hide, where would you guys hide? We're all pretty homebodies at this point in our life trajectories.

Where would you drop your dead drop? Upstairs. What a lot of flexibility that would give to my day, huh? Don't you think? Whoa, look out. I don't know, probably, like, in the CVG airport, like, tend to be there a lot. Like, an imagine almost.

The airport is such, oh my God, Travis, seed them across every airport in this great country of ours. Every time I fly to a new airport, the Atlanta airport, I have the Nashville airport with its long layovers. I've never been in the Nashville airport and not want to do under here. Okay, let's walk through it. Hi, excuse me. Yes, my name is Travis McElroy.

This is my license. I'm looking for a discreet location in the airport where I can duct tape a mysterious package to. It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission on this specific one. They don't let me know. The level of discretion, Justin. Yes, there's a challenge there. I'm going to have to, but think it's possible.

Let me suggest this. You can't just skip out halfway out of a sentence when you do not have an ending to the sentence. You can't stir it. You're talking about circumventing airport security measures. I know that there are places where you can, like, there are places in airports where you can, like, rent. Basically, it's like a tiny hotel room for, like, an hour to nap in.

What are you talking about? This is the thing. Yeah, it's the thing. This is not in every airport, but. The thing. Yeah. Yeah, little micro-hotels in the airport. I think maybe there's, like, a locker in there.

If that exists, I could do that. Is this what the American Airlines Admirals Club is? Like, if I went into the ad, if I ever got behind those glistening doors, would I just find dozens of duct tape underwear to the wall? For Rich. Well, the original name was the American Airlines Clean Butt Experience. Why don't you go to Shoe Shine?

Go to Shoe Shine, slip on my hundo, just say I need to keep something here, and then you'll be arrested. Okay, damn it. I think that there's something to this, though, because I think you could make this, like, a form of geocaching, where it's, like, take some underpants, leave some underpants.

Travis, I hadn't even considered the act of, you know, take a penny, need a penny. Right? Like, you open up an apple on your phone, and it is like, do you need fresh socks? Cool. 20 feet to your right. Go down that alley. All it would take is one, and I don't want to get too blue here,

but bad apple, who puts some maybe less than clean stuff in there, and then it spoils the bunch. One bad apple, if you will. I mean, you put literally a bad rotten apple in the bag of dead drop underwear, and none of it's going to be wearable. Well, that is the thing.

No matter how good you are at hiding this stuff, it's always going to be a risk if you start counting on it, where it's just like, you know what? I don't even have to worry about this, because I know I got that underpants over there. But if you can't count on it, there's no point in this. No, it's there if you need it,

and it's like, oh, thank God this worked, but you can't take it for granted that it's going to be there. You can't be like, well, I have to pee, but rather than find a bathroom, I'm just going to, like, burn this one. I'm just, this is just a burner underpants. This is it. You can't do that. Collaborate team.

You have underpants, leave underpants. Maybe just start doing this. Next time you get to the airport, you pack too many underwear, and you're leaving. You're not coming back, because then all your stuff's done. But you got a fresh pair, you don't need it. Just hide it somewhere, and put that energy out there in the universe.

It's a secret. They'll come back to you. You won't want them to. Could you start, could you do this mobily? Could you have, could we have some buttons made up that are like, just ask me, I've got them, and then a picture of a wink, and people see that button, and they know that you're packing undies for them.

Yeah. Ooh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. That's a good conversation, too. You're the one with the underwear for me, right? No. A lot of us have red carnations, so. So, we should have talked about it more before we started. Hey, let's take a break and go over to the money's out. Do you think everybody's going to think

that we're messy underwear boys, though? Because I just worry that we talked about it for like 20 minutes, and people are going to think we're just sort of messy underwear boys. We've been doing this show, like, 369 times, something like that. They, if they wanted to build a case file against our messy underwear abilities,

they would have plenty of evidence to compile a very compelling case. So, tell me about CasperTrap. I traveled out of the last, like, 10 days, nine of them, and I missed sleeping on my Casper mattress so much, not only emotionally and mentally, but physically. My body craved that Casper comfort.

I missed it so much. And, like, this is not a joke. And somebody you spent three of those days with, oh, thank you very much. Listen, I love you, and I love my in-laws, and I travel to L.A., and I love my friends, and I love my coworkers and shit. But I don't love any of you as much as I love my Casper mattress.

I'm sorry. My Casper mattress is my closest and dearest friend. He's always there for me, wrapping his loving arms around me. I love him, and it's so comfortable. Oh, it's the best. It's the best. I love it.

Do you want to talk about how people can secure their own Casper? What are you doing? Oh, we have an ad. Oh, I was just talking about how much I love my Casper mattress. Well, Casper mattresses combine multiple supportive memory foams for quality sleep service with the right amounts of both sync and bounce, and sounds, and bank.

And you can be sure of your Casper purchase with 100 nights risk-free sleep-on-it trial. So start sleeping ahead of the curve with Casper. Get $50 towards any mattress purchases by visiting casper.com slash my brother and using the promo code mybrotheralloneword at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. I want to talk about stamps.com.

Can I tell you about stamps.com? Because we're a podcast, and we're the only ones that are going to tell you the truth about stamps.com. And here it comes. It brings you all the amazing services of the U.S. Postal Service right to your computer. And that's the dang truth about it. You can just use your computer,

and you can print out any official U.S. postage for any letter to package, any class of mail, and you let the mailman pick it up. No leaving the office, no lugging mail to the post office, no more hassle. It's super convenient. It's great. Sometimes maybe you don't have time to leave the house

and go, you know, run errands. And so with stamps.com, they bring the errands to you. Which, God, I wish that, literally, this service was offered for, um, like everything I have to do in my life. Don't say yes. I should say that, but it pretty much is. We're getting there.

I was going to say, it's 2018. Yeah. Right now, you can too, can enjoy the stamps.com service with a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus postage and a digital scale. Are you ready for a happier new year? Well, I hope so. Just go to stamps.com and click on the microphone

at the top of the homepage and type in my brother. That's stamps.com, inter, my brother. I love to mail shit. Yeah, cool, cool, cool. I'm getting pretty excited about this. I'm signing up right now. Are you, are you really? Is that why you're not reading the Jumbotron?

Yeah, hold on. I'll get, I'll get back to it. Okay. News Goblins is a weekly podcast focused on hard news, not hard news, nerd news. I mean, it's hard news. It is challenging sometimes. Challenging news, hard nerds.

Get swole with these hard nerds. Nerd news, nerd culture, nerd relationships, and maybe goblins. News Goblins is hosted by Jared and Leslie Anderson, real live married weirdos with graduate degrees in writing and publishing credits in places like Asimov's Drabble Cast and Escape Pod. Jared and Leslie are curious, silly, creative professionals

who love to discuss serious and not so serious topics with a mix of humor and insight. You can find out more newsgoblins.com. Or on iTunes. Just search iTunes for newsgoblins. Yeah. I got another message here from Clayton, and it's for Yoshi, Eli, and Ruggles.

Hell yeah. Those are some choice names all around. Told you I'd get one. Got a little, a little hard there. Anyway, congrats on being the coolest group of people ever and inspiring me to create every single day. Collaborate team. Collaborate team, there it is.

Here's to another year of talking to bears, gambling with goblins and going to banger for chicken wings. I love you, Time Traveler Boy, Stab Child, and Yoshi, but spelled with a B emoji. And as always, Rudy dies. Pretty sure it's Bangor, main. Bangor just does not trip off the tongue in the same way. I bet they have a lot of fun with that

turn of phrase up there, though. Like, it's a banger, get it? It's our team, kind of. Boy, I'd love to go eat some chicken wings. That's my main takeaway from this sweet message. We have one more message. This is for Claire, and it's from Ivy. It says, Claire, I need to tell you something.

I'm gay. I know this is sudden. I'm not sure if you suspected when you proposed to me. I look forward to building a forge in our backyard where we'll create powerful silverware and other sacred artifacts to pass down to our children. I love you. This is the fucking best.

There is very little punctuation in this message, it reads like a, just a very energetic, it's a lot of sort of thoughts and ideas crammed into this message. I adore it. Knowing the speed at which people had to operate to get a jumbotron in 2018, I think we're going to see a lot of

fucking radical stream of consciousness jumbotrons this year. To see e-comings like slam poetry. SF sketch fest is just around the corner, January 11th to 28th, and there will be plenty of Max Fun Shows there to represent. We're bringing Judge John Hodgman on the 11th, Jordan Jesse Goh with special guest Andy Richter on the 12th, Smanners on the 14th.

We got this with Mark and Howe also on the 14th, The Greatest Generation and Friendly Fire Podcast Super Show on the 17th, Pop Rocket host Guy Branham's talk show The Game Show on the 19th, and One Bad Mother on the 21st. You can learn more about these shows and get tickets at maximumfun.org slash sf sketch fest 18.

Get your tickets now. How about a yahoo? Yep. Okay, again, it's a it's fucked up really bad. I was sent in by level 9000, yeah, Drew Drew Drew Davenport. Thank you, Drew. And it's from, I don't know,

but I'm going to call this one. Esther asks, Who do you think will win in a fight, your mailman or your garbage man? Who? Let's just let's just gender neutralize this and mail carrier or sanitation worker, I guess. Yes.

These two have been obviously beefing for a long, long time and it's a secret war kind of like the Underworld movies or the Twilight movies where the vampires and lycan throats are sort of at each other's throats. There's a secret war constantly going on and like read like literally any book or you know, Google it or whatever, but the mail carriers of our country

and the sanitation workers of our country, secret underground war fought at night and nobody sees it, nobody knows about it except for us now. Also just real quick, it's 420 right now, it's we're recording. I think you're trying to observe it. Yes, I think you have it. Place one out and the secret war between mail

and I have a really hard time putting my finger on what the solution, because I think there's more mail carriers, right? So they have the personnel advantage here, but we cannot discount the sanitation workers, big, powerful and sometimes automated trucks. Yes, that's exactly what I was going to say. They are literally driving like tanks.

Yeah, they got tanks and the mail carriers though, they do have everything that's ever been mailed to use as weaponry in their proud fight and God knows I've bought a bunch of swords on Amazon.com and so they've got those working for them. But the trash ones have all the swords I've thrown away, which is a considerable amount, because I can't have 200 freaking swords in my house.

That's true, the garbage carriers will have accessible swords because they'll know they've been cataloguing sort of where the swords are, but every sword that they have access to has been discarded for, you know, unneeded, unneeded swords. The mail carriers are going to have to guess at which boxes hold new swords. So you're kind of like,

a lot of times they're going to get like a baguette or something that someone has mailed in a sword box as a joke. Right. Well, and not only that, but your mail carrier is going to have access to everything that's been sent to you, but your garbage carrier or garbage sanitation worker is going to have access to everything you're ashamed of

and are trying to get rid of. You're suggesting that they could blackmail you somehow. Well, if we're looking at this, not as like a 1v1 war, but rather more like, you know, when the sun and the wind tried to figure out who's more powerful to see if they could get the human to take their jacket off.

That's not what this is. That's not what this is, and that makes me uncomfortable. They're not fighting for us. That is a weird sort of like neoconservative fantasy, but that I do not espouse. This is, and they've got their reasons, and it has nothing to do with us. They got their own reasons.

They got their own inspirations for this battle, and it's just a big, big street fight, and they're doing it at night in the dark hour where none of us can see it or underground, and that's all there is to it. And I just, I'm so torn, and I'm so sad that Yahoo is so deeply fucked up because I see little teases and hints

at the great comments in here that I can't read all of, but here's a fragment. Aids and diesel fumes all day, and never gets out of his truck. The vehicle does the actual work. I don't know which one that's talking about, because both have trucks that they ride around in a lot. Somebody says, a switchblade or a butterfly.

What could that possibly mean? But we'll never know, because Yahoo's all garbled. You know that both garbage trucks and mail trucks both dispatch from the exact same place, and then they return to the same place, and there's a lot of tension in the air as they all clock. It's like that scene where the wolf and the sheepdog are both clocking in, and they're like,

oh, another day at the office, right? But then out there on the streets, it's war. That makes a lot of sense, because there was one time I opened up my mailbox, and there was a stinky banana peel and two old bottles in there, and I looked, and my mail was in the garbage can. The garbage, the sanitation workers

can take the mail away from the mail carriers, and throw it in their trucks, and then it's trash. And I think that's a huge power play. It's a huge advantage. It's a huge power, because you can't, the mail carrier can't take the trash away and put it in a box and put a stamp on it. I mean, they can, but at great personal expense.

But it's nothing like the power play of like, oh, you just delivered those. Cool, cool, cool. Let me just, and then swipe them. It's a federal crime, but like, are you gonna get in the truck to find them? Find the evidence? I don't think so.

Gosh, we cannot discount the garbage trucks' huge automated crushing arms. It's huge. You can throw a body, get rid of whatever. Well, or get rid of a living person, because that arm grabs you. If it gets its hand on a person, I think you're already dead. Like, do you know what I mean?

Like, once the grabbing process of that huge, huge trash arm has got you, you're pretty much done already. There is no exit, because it basically lowers you into the big trash mouth. It's like the people who say like, when you fall off a mountain or something, it's not, you die before you hit the ground. Yeah, your dead as soon as that arm gets his hand on you.

Because it will not, there is no forgiveness, there is no escape, emergency eject button probably. Yeah. My mail carrier, I saw him with a big sack of packages carrying it up to my porch. I'm like, I think it was probably about five days before Christmas. I was like, hey, hanging in there.

And he said, I'm just living for the 26th. It's like, man, cool. Happy holiday to you too, my friend. I didn't even think about that. There's a week here or so where the mail carrier is going to have their hands full. And by which I mean literally full of holiday deliverables. And not necessarily a glaive or a halberd.

And I feel like the sanitation worker doesn't necessarily have that same, yes, obviously they're dealing with maybe more boxes or whatever, but I don't think they're going to be at as much of a disadvantage. The first trash day after Christmas, I ruined my mail carrier with sanitation workers with just a number of pink boxes that are just

unfathomable to me. I wish I could have looked at my trash like eight years ago and just be like, no, no, no, really? I promise you're going to carry all of this out. I swear to you. Seriously. Oh, shit. Okay.

I've always wondered about, because sometimes when you order something from Amazon, the item is in a box already, but then Amazon puts it in another box? I hate that. But what if that's just the mail carriers fucking with the sanitation workers? Like, guys, I put it in another box.

That way I can deal with two boxes. It's probably where this beef got started. Yeah, absolutely. Stop with all the boxes. Just put a stamp on this vacuum cleaner. Don't even put it in a box. Just put a stamp on it and mail it. It's fine.

They're going to take it out of the box anyway. It's this is probably one of the main causes and also the assassination of the Duke of Trash. Yeah, also that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody wants to talk about it, but. Nobody even talks about it, but it sent ripples through the through

and really caused this huge scuffle. How about the question? Yeah, I'm spending some of my holiday at my grandparents' house and I'm pretty drunk. Cool. I went in the cool. Thank you. I went into the cold room.

What? I went into the cold room to refill my drink. What's a cold room? The cellar? What is a cold room? Sorry, we can't continue the question right now. What is a cold room? What is a cold room?

It's a cold. It is just a cold room. Like in the bay, it's like a cold room in the base. Okay, this is like a Northerner thing. It's like a root cellar. A room in the back of the basement that was naturally chilly. We put potatoes from the garden in there

and they kept all winter. It's like a big fridge. It's like the, it's like the, you know, the refreshment zone at a gas station. It's like a big fridge that sometimes ruins everything you put in there. Okay, fine. So I went into the cold room to refill my drink

and I saw a gun. It's my granddad's old air rifle. And when it looks like it hasn't been used for ages, it seems in good repair. And also it looks really cool. So I check it out, figure out how to load it and cock it, but not how to uncock it. So I ended up pulling the trigger just to uncock it.

After all, it had spider webs all over it. It won't be loaded. Bad logic. You have made so many issues already. Crack and there's a hole in my granny's wall. I put the gun back, taken my drink, and now I'm sat in the living room with my mom, dad, sister, and granny watching the end of Skyfall.

It's been 20 minutes since I punched a hole straight through the cold room. How do I break the news? And that's from Naughty, not nice in Newcastle. I mean, I'll say. That's pretty naughty, bud. Let's just go ahead and preface this by saying, Naughty!

Just preface whatever we're about to say. Don't play with guns. Don't, nobody. Don't play with guns drunk. No story has ever begun. So I was playing with this gun and aided with, and nothing happened and everything was fine. Don't play with guns.

Even if it's an air rifle, it's still bad. A bad, a bad party. Clearly, you punched a hole in the cold room. Yeah. I ain't gonna stay cold for long. It's a lot of bad potatoes. So when you said northern, you have just made the cold room larger

by sharing the cold with whatever bigger room was containing the smaller cold room. Possibly. Um, yeah, I guess maybe it is a, yeah, it's, I guess it's a northern UK. Okay, the thing where I found it being a northern thing is on a website, this subtitle for which is Everything About Old English Sheep Dogs.

So who's to say the veracity? You have broken every rule of gun usage. Number one is, of course, don't. But number two, right after that is like, it's always loaded. You treat it like it's always loaded. It's a dangerous thing. What's wrong with you?

Especially when you are. Treat it like it's loaded when you are. Jesus. Yeah, we're having a lot of fun here, but there's also a part of this question that scares the living shit out of me. Yeah. So let's, I don't know how to get past that

and get into the fun zone necessarily. He did say air rifle, right? I don't understand. Should that be able to put a whole, I guess it would, huh? It obviously has. It did. Well, I mean, especially since it did.

Let's not pretend like we have any idea what a cold room is made out of. It might be rice paper. I don't know. That's true. All right. These seem efficient, but you're right. You have to say, I mean, you've got to say something.

James Bond did it. James, you blame it on James Bond. I mean, you blame it on whoever you want to blame it on. We're talking about a lot of spoiled potatoes. If I'm going off of this old English sheepdog website. You're talking about a lot of. But just the new Yahoo. Yeah.

Get off Yahoo and go to OES.org, the old English sheepdog information hub. It's a lot of bad potatoes and you can't do that to your grams. So you got it. You got to speak up. Now, who do you blame it on? Travis suggests James Bond. I do not dislike this.

You could say it's a new TV technology for it's the 4D, like Captain EO, but instead of spraying water in your face when James Bond shoots a gun, bullets do come out of the TV. And one, thankfully, you should be fortunate to only destroy your cold room. You could blame it on your granddad. Blame it on your granddad. Blame it on an old English sheepdog. Wait, is granddad still in the picture?

Granddad is not in the room watching Skyfall. Maybe he's upstairs doing something else. In another area of the cold room. Just wait. We also don't know how big the cold room is. One of those Christmas Carol. Are there any of the Christmas Carol ghosts that would have done this? Because I know that they're in the UK.

You know present. You know present would fuck around with an air rifle like, I'm fucked up. Look at the stunts I can do with this gun. I feel so good because I'm holding a gun. Like, yo, dude, you need to calm down a little bit. Don't tell me what to do. My brother charged now.

Oh, God. My brothers and sisters have no scope to your frayges. And now I am here to play with. Everyone has told me how great it is to play with guns. This is ignorance and this is want. And their Katie ratio is a joke. Now I have an air rifle. Ho, ho, ho.

Now which movie are we doing now? That was Die Hard. That one was Die Hard and it was a little on the nose. Can you find some way to create a locked room mystery? Because if you can't blame it on somebody, blame it on the unsolvable mystery. Although you got to be careful because Sherlock will roll up. Sherlock will roll up in this one.

You got Sherlock and Poro up in your neck of the woods. You got to be careful. Then you got to hit them against each other. And that's the only way you win. Locked room mystery is going to be tricky though. You're going to have to get a wire in through the small hole you've created in the wall and use it to lock the door. That's a pretty easy locker.

And you're going to need a block of ice to melt, but that's going to be hard to do in the cold room. Yeah, it's true. It's going to take a while. Can you stick a bit of gum in there? Stick a bit of chewy. Little ducky tape. Little ducky tape or a little bit of chewy.

And you're fine. You're probably not fine. Listen. Don't play with guns. We've had a lot of fun here. I think this is actually a very important thing for the three of us to do. Question asker.

Naughty, not nice in Newcastle. We had a lot of fun with your question. I need you to go get a chair. Go ahead and put it in the corner, facing the corner. I need you to sit right there in the chair for 15 minutes. Pause the podcast. You're in timeout. We are literally putting you, I'm assuming an adult,

right in timeout. 15 minutes, sit right there. What you did was quite bad. And we had a lot of fun with the question, but we shouldn't have because what you did was a bad thing. Go timeout. Take a picture from the corner and email it to us on the same thread so we know it's you.

We're going to be doing some punishments here in 2018. So that's kind of being one of our new things is like, if you, okay, all right. If you write in a question to us, you need to accept that you might get a legally binding punishment. And we're going to be punishing some people this year, forgetting out of line and kind of upsetting the apple

card a little bit. And it sounds like you've earned our first punishment of 2018, naughty, not nice in Newcastle. So go to the corner and think about what you did. Set a timer on your phone. And don't get a, oh, I swear to God, if you get on your phone and you play your flappy bird or a game or you get on Twitter, no.

Put your phone away after you set the timer on it, set it down and you just think, you just think about it. I would also say that you could, if you own the entire thing and then fix the hole in the cold room, I think you, that would be acceptable too. Not only that, but, and not to glorify this at all, but that is also a good way to then actually earn a few points because like not only were you honest,

but you took care of the problem and like you, you fixed it and you admitted it. That is a good responsible thing to do that almost makes up for your irresponsible playing with gun actions. I need photo evidence of either one, whatever option you want to take. I don't really care. I don't live in your grandma's cold room.

So it's your call yet. Think that, you know, 2018, who knows? Should we wrap up? Yeah, I believe we should. I've had too much fun already. I can't handle any more fun. Indeed. But people at home, if you're looking for more fun,

I just guessed it on a couple of podcasts that are going to be coming out soon. I'm on an upcoming episode of Can I Pet Your Dog, upcoming episode where I returned for an episode of Bunker Buddies. I just guessed it on a video that's going to be coming out on Gary Dunn's YouTube channel. But I also just did an episode of Good Christian Fun.

That is such a great podcast. Yes. I'm very into Good Christian Fun right now. I can't recommend it enough. If you've ever heard Gilmore Guys, Kevin Porter from Gilmore Guys and his friend Caroline are hosting Good Christian Fun. It's a review show of Christian pop culture

that neither glorifies Christianity nor makes fun of it. It just talks about why they made the things that they made. Justin, there's a Bible man episode with your name on it, bud. Ooh, nice. Let's see. Also coming up very soon. What did you do on your episode? We did an episode of McGee and Me called Twister and Shower.

Yes. Yes. It was very fun. And that way, Griffin, I just did one episode to leave the door open for you to come on and discuss other McGee and Me episodes. Thank you. I appreciate that.

But yeah, also coming up in, well, 11 days from today, Teresa and I are going to be at San Francisco SketchFest. I'm performing in a couple shows one Friday night, one Saturday night. But then we're doing a Shmanners on Sunday, the 14th, in the afternoon. And you can find out all the details about that at sfsketchfest.com. And you got the crews, too, right?

Yeah. And we're doing the Joco Crews, which is coming up in the middle of February, February 18th through 25th. We're going to be doing Shmanners there as well, just like a bunch of other random things. And like, dad's going to be there. And yeah, it's going to be a good time.

If you want to come check that out, I think it's going to be an absolute blast. Not only have I never been on Joco Crews before, I've never been on a Crews before, so I'm super excited about that. Yeah. You can find out about that JocoCrews.com, J-O-C-O-Crews.com. I want to say thanks to everybody who pitched in

during the holiday season for both Mubumbam Angels, who just crushed the empty stockings list this year. That's a thing that when I see people in Huntington, that's like the thing they talk about. And that is so, like, wonderful. And I hope that you all appreciate, like, what a change you make in our lovely hometown and Justin's current place of residence.

And everybody who came out to the Candle Knight Show and everybody who chipped in on the Candle Knight Star project that Riley Spear headed, who helped raise, I think it was like $45,000 total for big brothers, big sisters of South Central West Virginia. They were asking for $60,000 to help open one of their closed branches up again. And, like, the fact that the listeners of this podcast

almost single-handedly, like, got there is so... They weren't asking us for it. No, no, no. That was their big ask when they lost their funding. The fact that you all came out for that to such a huge degree is so wonderful. And we love you all so much for it. Also, I want to say thanks to John Roderick in the Long Winters

for the use of our theme song. It's a departure off the album, Putting the Days to Bed. It's a very good album. And thank you to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. Go to maximumfun.org and check out all the great free podcasts there because you're going to find a bunch of shows that you're just going to love the heck out of. All right. Well, folks, that's going to do it for us.

Thank you so much for listening. And... Collaborate team. Collaborate team. Just think about it. Just think about it. You don't got to act on it right now. Just think about it.

And Griff, you got one more Yahoo for us? Yeah, I have one more off this fucking blighted website. It's from Andrew Gerald. Thank you, Andrew, for sending this one in. It's by a Yahoo Answers user. I can't see it because the website's all fucked up, but I'm going to say Dennis asks, What if, for the last episode of Frasier,

Kelsey Grammer was butt naked the whole time? What is Justin McRoy? What is Justin McRoy? I'm Griffin McRoy. This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad. Where are the lips? Girls didn't want to say what I wanted.

Historical significance of everyday etiquette topics, then answer your questions relating to modern life. So join us weekly on maximumfund.org or wherever podcasts are found. No RSVP required. Check out Schmaners. Man or Schmaners. Get it?