My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 411: Face 2 Face: Bon Voyage!

Episode Date: June 19, 2018

San Francisco was kind enough to have us come down for a visit and do a live show for them at The Warfield last weekend; a favor we returned by talking a lot about snake sex and secret pizza governments. Thanks to the power of audio recording technology, YOU can hear that VERY show! Right now!

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin Tyler McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, Travis Patrick McElroy. And I'm your sweet baby brother in 30 under 30 media luminary griffin, Andrew McElroy.

Justin's fucking kickflip over the monitor there in the middle is the most righteous thing I've ever seen on a stage. Do you want to hear something really sad? Yeah, I did it for the vine. Man, I still do a lot of stuff for the vine, but it doesn't seem to be ending up on the platform. Yeah, not yet. I'm doing stuff all the time where I think in my head after I do it like, certainly that's going to be on the line. That's that was for the vine. They didn't they didn't send their folks that day to capture your sixth stunt. Oh boy. Hi everybody. A lot of you said hi at the same time, which I appreciated. We're very happy to be here in San Francisco and we're very happy to be doing a

show. Show didn't almost it almost didn't happen. Yeah, because earlier today we were so hungry yeah that we almost killed each other. We almost broke up. We almost broke up. We almost broke up. It was almost the wedge. You don't know this because you only think about it in like a you know relationship, but if family gets together sometimes they're like, I'm so hungry that I'm angry at all of you. You want to break up? Here's how here's how hungry we were and by we I mean griffin. We went back. We got some publicity photos taken of us for the first time in eight years. Never happened before. Finally getting serious about this podcasting thing. And it might just be a thing. And if from now on if you see a publicity photo of us, you can

say to your friend, hey, I know I'm always telling you this whenever I see a publicity photo of the McElroy's, but that was taken in San Francisco. And you can also say, and I know we're a fact, one of them was very hungry. One of them is super pissed off. He looks hungry. Here's how hungry we got back from taking the photos and Griffin says, hand to God, direct quote. Oh hell yeah, there's a bird king right there. All right, Griffin, I, I was also very sleepy. All of my moodlets were in the red. And so my plan was to slam some BK feel like big shit. Go sleep, which is like my dream. That's like my best, my favorite state of being is drifting off to sleep. Like I wonder if I'm going to have diarrhea

when I wake up. That's not a bit for the show. Griffin's not doing it for the vine right now. He told us when we went to eat lunch at a lovely Indian place called Punjab. I think it was Indian and Pakistan. It's delicious. It's fucking great. So good. Griffin told us why we're eating lunch. Like I, it wasn't that I want a burger king. I just love feeling sick and taking it out. It was also great as we were, I will back away from the mic for this moment, but as we were walking to the restaurant, I said, hmm, seems like some of us are hungry and Griffin went, yeah. Yeah, I yelled, I did yell. At that point, I was so angry that my family didn't want to eat a burger king. He was mad at us. So mad. He sat down at the table

when we finally got to the restaurant. And he just kept saying, like, this doesn't feel like real life. This feels like a dream. And I told, I live in West Virginia, right? There's seven different places I can eat. There's a burger king and six bow jangles. And like, I'm not going to eat at one of the places I can eat at home. The bow jangles are organized around the burger king. Like they're protecting it. When the bow jangles open in Huntington, the PK Knights of the Round. Thank you. When the bow jangles open in Huntington, they had to put up a road sign outside like to direct traffic for bow jangles. This is the line for bow jangles. The bow jangles line took up this entire lane of traffic. Can we tell one other anecdote? No, we're going to get into the questions, I promise,

but can you, um, it's about the the airport. The they were at the airport. I don't want to brag. But he's going to when I travel, I fly Delta and when I fly Delta, I hang out in the Delta Sky Club. It's not a big deal. And I overheard the best thing I've ever heard someone say twice from the same person. The first thing they said was I'm sorry to interrupt. I couldn't help it overhearing you talking about chili. I love chili. And that made me so happy that I immediately dropped everything. I think I looked at dad and said, shut up, shut up. And then about three minutes later, dad's very used to that. Yeah. And then about three minutes later, the same person said, well, I'd have to say that my favorite bean is and at that point, I couldn't hear the rest of

it because my brain exploded. And I was just so happy. It's like, whoa, you're really putting on the spot here. My favorite bean. Oh, you know, it pushed. Was it one of us 30 years older time traveling and recording an episode of my brother, my brother and me? That's the only explanation. I just love the idea of here's a person budding into a conversation that they were not a part of. And then thinking, you know what these people want to hear about my bean thoughts. Do quick poll, it's black beans, right? Okay. The best beans. I prefer a red bean. I defer to the binologist who is Justin McElroy. Oh, God, now people can see that we've got some unpleasant aesthetic overlap. I tried to keep the jacket on as long as I could. It's a little toasty.

He is, it does pretty much naturally sum up our summer aesthetics, which is you have the tropical shirt, I have a wine shirt and Griffin dresses like it's winter. Also the Delta Sky Club, I got to listen to my brother explain to a very nice lady who was working there, why he had a pin of himself. She actually asked, where did you get that done? Because my nephew would love that. I'm going to get a pin of him for himself. And at first I thought, oh, this is good to put it in context. And then I thought, no, actually, it sounds worse to say, I thought people liked me enough to want to buy it. Yeah. And it's not like a vanity thing I did for just me. I thought people would want enough to want to buy it. And also I got one and I'm wearing it now.

You see this little face? Check it up here. Here's another. I also think she did say, same face. Like I made the face. The face. Is that the same face of the pin? Yeah. How about we do the show? The show. This is an advice show as you've almost certainly guessed. And here's our first question. How do I get my friend to stop going through all my cabinets every time he comes to my house? Is that seriously it? That's it. How do I get my... So like no context necessary. Are you here? You're very close. Okay. Let me help. Your friend is here. Oh. Shit. Hold on. All right. So here's the thing. Your friend, whether they'll admit to it or not, can I get a name real quick? This is going to be deeply uncomfortable. We are going to pretend like

you're not here or else we can't get it going. Or the whole show unravels. I'm going to look up here and I hope you don't mind that, but I'm going to be at sort of balcony level with my eyesight. Oh, yeah. Real quick. What's your name? I just heard Barfee because they blended in the air in a... Okay. What's your name? Murphy and Tom. Okay. So Murphy, pretend your friend. Let's call him Greg. Greg is going through the cabinets. Here's what he's looking for. He's looking for Granny's treat drawer. Every Granny's got... Let me hear you real quick. Does your Granny have a treat drawer, everybody? Everybody's great? Yes. Yes. It's got the fruit roll-ups. It's got the ring pops. Whenever the

grandkids come over, she wants to score some quick meets and points. She pulls open this special drawer and there's pixie six, pixie six, pixie six. Oh, and a treat because there's a bowl of cake, like bowl of fruit on the counter. So the parents are like, ah, fruit. Great. And then they leave and Granny's like, no, no. That's party idiots. Granny fucking heavyweights it. She pulls off the banister off the stairs. It's full of... I can't think of a type of candy, guys. Her shoelaces are candy laces. Yes. All right, one. I heard a wallpaper is candy dots. Nobody likes those. It's just there's so much work for so little payoff with a candy dot and you're getting at least 5% paper. Your friend is looking for Granny's treat drawer. So, but Granny moves it sometimes

because the parents will get... the rents, if you'll allow, will get wise. So Granny moves it. So your friend is going through all your cabinets looking for your treat drawer and you know you've got one if you're a grandmother. I don't know. It's fairly dark out there. I can't tell. And I wouldn't want to make any... How many grandmothers do we have here tonight? Granny's in the house. Oh. So your friend is looking for... Hey, cool, cool. Your friend is looking for that cookie crisp. Is your friend opening these cabinets in like a fevered way or just very slowly like, hmm. Deeply hungry every time. Is your friend a raccoon? Once again, assuming I can't see them. Half raccoon. Half raccoon. Interesting. I've seen some pictures of that on the internet.

Daddy like. Usually they're dating Sonic. Yes. You got to leave your treats in an easily accessible place. Take the box of cookie crisp or if they're looking for weed, whatever it is, leave it on the counter. Usually one of those leads to the other one. Yeah. There's inextricably tied. Leave your treats on the counter. Like, and then he's not going to have to root through. I'll just say, oh, your weed. It's right here. Hey, oh, your cookie crisp is right. Oh, you put the weed in the cookie crisp. Let me suggest I'm a parent now and I have a 19 month old daughter who... Just... We all have kids. Yeah. She doesn't understand boundaries. So we had to put

child locks on everything and child locks are great because don't let the name fool you. They confound everyone. Yeah. It's great. It's great appetite control too because sometimes all want a loose fistful of cookie crisp at 3 30 p.m. on a Wednesday and I'll walk up to the drawer and pull it and get a kuchunk and I'll be like, fuck it. It's not. Hey Griffin, would you be so kind as to treat me to a yahoo? I would love to. P.S. Side note. Did you guys see when we were driving to the photo shoot today? Yahoo HQ. We passed up and they waved. They were like, thank you for being the only people who use our website. There's probably employees here. Oh shit. Shit. Well, now we can't fucking ask because we spoiled the the waters of polling,

but we'll just... Oh, I got it. Who here isn't an employee of Yahoo? Oh Jesus. So subtract that. All right. This one was sent in by Grin Velesti. Thank you, Grin. It's Yahoo Answers user Brandy who asks, are you allowed to put baby on board sticker when driving motorcycle in California? Obviously. Obviously you are not allowed to put baby in motorcycle in Cali, but I thought it would be funny if I put a... Fascist. But I thought it would be funny if I put a sticker on the back of my black hellite vest I am wearing that say baby on board. It's a little giggly joke. Oh, okay. But I think it would make me more visible and safer while having some quick laugh.

On top of that, ever since I put the sticker, no... Okay, so you already pulled the trigger on this one. No one... No one is tailgating me on my street bike. I'm not sure what the psychology behind it, but people seem to be more careful around me. They are keeping distance. People that wants to pass over me will make a lot of room to switch to my lane. You can't... It minimized people that are having road rage as well. And then... And then, baby on board, end of sentence. So, is this illegal to put this? Last thing I want is some random... You had it out. You were done. Wait, I have so much. Wait, let me finish. Last thing I want is some random law that people can find a loop to do something crazy. You can't... You can't say that you don't understand the psychology

of why people might be more cautious, even if there's a 1% chance there's a baby on your motorcycle. Yeah, for me, even if the Vegas odds trend heavily towards there's not a baby on that moving object. If I see a motorcyclist, which is the proper term, with a baby on board sticker on the back of their jacket, I'm going to assume two things are possible. One, it is a person with a baby stuffed into their jacket. Or two, it's a person with nothing left to lose. Either way, I'm going to give them their space. See, I would have also gone three babies in a coat. Thank you. Okay. Thank you. Yes, thank you. I do like that this question asker makes sure to denote that you can't put a baby on a motorcycle in California. Thank you. Are there states...

Oh, for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure. Okay, wait, hold on. I'm sorry, I didn't... If there's a sidecar, I get it. God, that's funny. I would be willing to bet dollars to donuts there are states where you don't even need one of those. There's some wild state laws out there, man. In fucking like, in fucking Florida, you can like shoot a whale from a moving helicopter. There's a law somewhere that's like, go for it. We got lots of babies. I think that this could be applicable in lots of arenas. If you have a shirt that just says baby on board, I think you're going to avoid a lot of conflict. Sure. Because you're going to buy yourself an extra half second where the person's like, is there? I don't see a baby on board,

but I guess there could be in a satchel. Just let them have their fun, you know. He's just a little giggle. It's just a giggle joke. Just one giggly joke. Could you... What would you think if you were the person behind that? I would think they had a motorcycle basket with babies. Yeah, on the front side of it. That's fun to think about. I love my imagination. You all are so lucky to even be exposed to it, to even get an array of light from my beautiful imagination sun shining down on you. Damn. Why are we not giving all motorcyclists a little room? You've seen what they're working with. Why are you up on them? It will not pan out well for them.

Give them all a little bit of space. I actually think one of you... And that one goes for non-motor cycle. Yeah, maybe we just talk to... How about what if we just all don't crash? That's like a coin. Bicycles, motorcycles, penny-farthing bicycles. Yes. And if you... That's the one with the big wheel in the little wheel. Oh, Travis, this is San Francisco. They know what a penny-farthing bicycle is. That's why I didn't get a laugh, because everyone's like, yes. Yes. Yes. And unicycles. I'm moving back home to Australia tomorrow after a year studying in New York. I have promised a lot of people that I'll stay in touch with them.

I know that I almost certainly won't do this. And honesty is so important. How soon until I can let them down? Should I tell them that actually I lied when saying goodbye? That's from Sam. Sam, are you here? Nice. Okay, I heard a few people cheering with Sam. They're basically people sitting around saying goodbye. That could be Sam and Sam's friends. In which case, bad news. Enjoy these final moments with Sam. Drinking the Sam. You've only got so much left. Justin, I would like you to say to me, let's keep in touch, and I will demonstrate how Sam

should have handled the situation. Okay. Hey, let's keep in touch. Mmm. The old mouth full of peanut butter gag. The old Mr. Ed. I love it. Well, that way, three years later, when they realized I haven't heard from Sam in a while, like, wait, did he say yes? By definition, you don't have to worry about this. Here's what is so charming to me, and perhaps this speaks to the Australian sensibility. I don't know a lot of your people, but I do want to know, I think it's so rad that you have a notch of caring that is caring what they think about me, not caring to see whether they live or die. That is just, you are right there and you have a setting for that, which I think is so lovely.

If it were me, I'd just be like, yeah, okay, yeah, okay, bye. All right, sounds good. Oh, dead to me. They, they are as dust. You got to, you gave, you gave too concrete of a response, Sam. You get next time, you got to be more mysterious with the other people. Just look up and say, shh, it is in the wind. Bon voyage. It's important that you, it is important that you be on a boat that is pulling out. I have gathered you all here for an announcement. It is in the wind. Bon voyage. All of your friends gathered. The size of the boat doesn't matter, but I recommend bigger the better. Bigger the better. Yeah, that's true. Gather everyone you've met that you've told you'll keep in contact. And he said,

friends, I have a sad news. I know we have promised to keep in touch, but I am Sam. It is in the wind. Bon voyage. And then maybe do that thing where you put like one foot up on the prowl of the ship as you like look out over the ocean. And then they think, who knows where Sam's going to end up? You could, you could say, haven't you seen before sunrise? It's way more romantic. If we don't make any firm plans, keep it loose, get back together. Here's the things real Sam. Here's the problem. You are the one leaving, right? So when they say keep in touch, what they're saying is you keep in touch with me. So how about when they say keep in touch, you say you touch me and then you leave. Immediately. I got a lot of people who want Sam to touch them. Nothing else beyond you touch me.

In that tone of voice, like I was speaking to my family when they turned me down for Burger King around that sort of like, you touch me and then you leave. And then you're gone. Have you considered a monthly newsletter? The Samsung Times about your new products that you're putting out. How about a Yahoo? Yep. Here's what we got from a few folks. It's from Yahoo Answers user Bunny W. We are on a streak of two Yahoo's with usernames I can read, which is a new high score. It's cause you're in San Francisco. You're so close. I get it. The direct feed ran over and handed. Oh, hot off the presses. I'm connected to Yahoo through Bluetooth right now. Bunny says, how do I breed my carpet Python? A vet recommended we bred our carpet Python. Any advice? Update. I have a female

carpet Python and our vet recommended we bred her. Okay, here. Car, carpet, carpet Python sounds like a euphemism that I can't parse. Yeah. Sounds like what you'd call like a couch's dick. Hey, did you check out the carpet Python on that couch? Yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah, man. Gnarly stuff. Wayfair does got just what I mean. There is no point about a love scene. I submit there is no place that you could put a dick on a couch where we continue to be a functional couch, right? Where would it even go? Where would it go? There's no tell me between the cushions because that's the mouth. That's the mouth of the couch. If you're wild about couch dick, I'm not here

to yuck any yums. But I just like to sit down. So you just slap the two snakes together is what I understand. Well, you have to you got to get them hard first. Yeah, you get them hard and horny like thundersticks at a football game. You give one of them the old boo boo Zella and then you turn it into a poodle and then it's hard as hell and ready to fuck. And then you just slap those two snakes together come hell or high water. And they put on some sexy snake music. White snake. Thank you. And you just slap them together. Just slap them together. I also could have gone with poison. Sorry, everybody. Here's the thing. There is a percentage of this room of people who have in the last two

minutes thought about what it would look like for two snakes to have sex. Is it front to front? Is it front to back? Is it curled into a pretzel? We do not know. Is there a position that doesn't look like one snake killing the other because I can't think is a is a caduceus just some rad snake 69. They're wrapped around a snake dildo and they're and they're losing it. They're loving it. The Ouroboros. The Ouroboros is definitely snake 69. The symbol from the Neverending Storybook. And was potentially what I was thinking of when I said the wrong thing and fucked up. Here's the thing that bothers me. It's still work Griffin. Huh? It would still work. It's fine. I just did the sex toy thing with the staff. It worked fine. Don't beat yourself up. I have

seen a lot of snakes in my life. I don't want to brag. I cannot imagine quality a snake would have that would cause me to think that's like a carpet. Because the only thing I can think is a furry snake. Yeah. Nope. We got those already. They're called ferrets. Think snakes. You're a ferret now. We're all full up here snakes. Maybe. Wait. Hold on. Is that what they're talking about? Yeah. It's. Yeah. I'm looking at now. Yeah. They're talking about ferrets. That's slang. That's ferret owner slang. Are they big? Are they small? What's the story with carpet snakes? We could have googled this. I guess they're pretty big. No, I did. All right. They're pretty big. Any videos of people slapping them together or? Oh, they got net nanny at this venue. They won't

let me. Well, you googled slapping two snakes together. Hey, baby of your list. I'm so sorry for everything. I googled carpet snakes sex. Google in 0.46 seconds provided me with 10,500,000 results in less than half a second. Google was like carpet snake sex, huh? There's videos. There's pictures. There's helpful tips. There's websites. There's a website called reptilesex.co.uk. Hey, hold on. There's an urban dictionary for carpet python. Click it. Okay. Griffin. Griffin is now going to read the urban dictionary definition for carpet python. Oh, no, I'm not. It's horrible. He's going to read it and whether or not he says it out loud or not, you can kind of. No, no, no, no. Don't you look either. Please. No, don't. Please.

I love you too much. Please. No. Oh, okay. If you're listening later. Oh my God. Look, it's, it's me from the future. I'm coming out on stage. Hey, listen, make sure you delete the part where you talk about the urban. It goes so bad for everybody. One more question. Yeah, we're going to do an intermission, but we didn't mention this at the time. So we're going to do an intermission here in a little bit. And when we come back, we're going to do your questions. Go ahead and email us at what is it live at my bin bam.com during no during your mission. Don't buy pins of our face and a misprinted poster. Oh, Travis, I'm sure. Yeah. By the way, there will be a W's for sale that you can just glue on. Okay. There'll be $18.

We need to explain it because there's this place. It's called the Warfield. It's beautiful. It's lovely. Thank you to the Warfield. It may be the situation that Paul, our beloved tour managers, computer auto corrected that to another word and that other word could be an orange cat who gets up to no good sometimes. And here's the thing. Let me tell you right now. The Warfield loves Mondays, hates lasagna. True. The different thing. And so this will be Paul's last show with us. Yeah. So if you would all join me in saying goodbye. Goodbye to Paul. Hey, Paul, can you come out real quick? Just a quick bow. Thanks for all the hard work. Paul's last show. We're going to settle up now. There's your five bucks and

yeah, we need to break that. Just change from that. Thank you, Paul. Perfect. Thank you, Paul. Paul Saborn, everybody. Paul Saborn. He'll never work in this town again. If any of you out there would like to be Paul, make sure you drop us a line. We'll be holding Paul auditions tomorrow. We'll be holding politicians. Can I do one? Can we do one more? Because I just want to, I think we can solve this one really quickly. Okay. Sure. Sure. I've been playing dance dance revolution competitively for more than 15 years. Fuck yes. The newest version is only available near me at an arcade slash sports bar establishment. David Buster's doesn't say that in it. In parentheses, it says David Buster. Just say fucking David Buster. He's the little

mom and pop local joint. So it's owned by my friends, Dave and Buster. So often there will be drunk dude bros who mock me while I'm playing or will jump around on the other pad while I'm trying to focus on the game. Fuck. How do I deal with these jerks who are distracting and taunting me when I'm just trying to get some exercise and improve my scores? That's from distracted dancer in daily sitting. Are you here? Here's another very why the fuck are you all sitting so close? Here's the thing, Justin, until we made the joke about the mom and pop thing, I never thought maybe these dude bros are Dave Jr. and Buster Jr. Shit. This is my dad's place is my dad's place. They said I could hassle whoever I want and I chose you. What are they doing there? Well,

the dude bros doing it. They think they're so cool and high and mighty and above DDR, but they're still at Dave and Buster's. Sure. Like, yeah, you're also here. Like, yeah. That's like opening your eyes when you pray and you see someone else opening their eyes and you're like, gotcha. It's like, no, idiot. You're opening your eyes too. You didn't accidentally go to Dave and Buster's because you read about the food on Yelp and you got them like, oh, it turns out they have video games here too. I love sweet potatoes and I love where they're made into fries. Don't mind if I do. Here's what you do. You go to every fucking golden tea machine in that place. The jock games. The jock games. The golden tea goal. Go to all the golden tea. Go to all the hunting

games. You get a jar of jelly. You put the jelly on the golden tea rollerball. Oh, dude, I'm going to top my best score in golden. Oh no. I got jelly all over my dig day hair. What's great about that one is if they still touch it, you take a picture of it, put it on Facebook and you say, look at these perverts touching the jelly ball. Upload that to nastyboys.tumblr.com. Also, they're not going to be able to get the traction they need for all their great chickens. They go to roll and it sticks. Oh no, the ball rolls backwards and they're like, look at these amateurs. And then you make fun of them. They're not going to have any reason to want to stick around Dave Buster's. Hey, let's go guys. All the machines here have jelly on. Let's scram teabirds and then them and the other teabirds

and they walk out snapping. Let's go guys. This place is the pits. All right, folks, that's going to do it for us. We will be back with you. Email us your questions and we will help you through all of it. We love you. Buy some things. Get some pee done and we will see you in a few minutes. Goodbye. We love you. Hey, everybody, it's Griffin and Travis. Justin's not here because he fell in a big toilet, but we're going to tell you all about our sponsors this week. No bullshit, no guff. And don't worry about Justin. He's fine. He's just in the toilet. Yeah, he said he texted us. He said, I fell in toilet. Please send 911. And we said,

are you serious dog? And he said, never mind. It's totally cool in here. So I guess he made, he found some friends, sort of a whole labyrinth situation, but damn it, Travis, I said no bullshit, no guff. Okay, sorry. Go on. Tell me about Squarespace as quickly as you possibly can while being respectful of the fact that Squarespace paid us to talk about them. Okay, here's the thing. I love Squarespace very much. In the, in this day and age, everybody's going to marry it. I have. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, I was kind of, I was kind of building up to it, but the word is out. Yeah, congratulations, congratulations, I guess. Thank you very much. I made a website on Squarespace,

which is what I consider marriage. Oh, okay. And it's called MacRoyshows.com and it was incredibly easy to make. Squarespace is so intuitive. And you don't have to know anything about coding. You don't have to know anything about making a website. You just go to Squarespace, you're like, I want to do this and Squarespace is like, okay, do this and this and this. It's really easy. It's super great. They have beautiful templates and they have powerful e-commerce functionality. So you can sell things on your website. It's free and secure hosting and there's nothing to patch or upgrade ever. So how do I get this thing thing? Well, you had the Squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, you use the offer code

my brother all one word to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's Squarespace.com slash my brother and then enter the code all one word, my brother. Travis mentioned MacRoyshows. Quick plug. Go to MacRoyshows.com slash tour. Travis has updated it with a bunch of stuff. All of our upcoming announced shows from a BimBam and Taz, including some BimBam shows in Orlando and Atlanta coming up later this summer. We got links to the book tour that we're doing for the Taz graphic novel in July. I think there's still some tickets available. It'll be fun. It'll be like a Q&A and a little reading of parts of the book and your ticket covers the price of a graphic novel. And then Travis, you got tickets for, oh, we're also

doing some book signing events that just got added there. You can find it, all that. And Travis, you have tickets for the next CUS that's coming up very soon, right? Yes. So this Sunday, Sunday, the 24th, June 24th at 8pm, we're doing another Cincinnati Underground Society show, which is my secret society style comedy show. I've brought in five amazing surprise guests that I cannot tell you now, but I can tell you they're some of my favorite people in the world. It's going to be a hell of a good time, $15. It's a comedy show, but like we do a whole, it's got a whole like secret society veneer. It's really fun. It's one of my favorite things I get to do now. And I want you to come and have a great time. It's in Cincinnati, Ohio, June 24th, 8pm. You can find that on

McRoyShows.com or you can go to bit.ly slash CUS June 2018, bit.ly slash CUS June 2018. I want to tell you about Stomps.com. Stomps.com is the best because these days you can get pretty much anything on demand like our podcast, which you listen to whenever you want, whenever it's convenient for you, or whenever we make unreasonable demands of you. But Stomps.com can do the same thing for you, but for Stomps. You don't have to take a trip to the post office to mail your letters and your packages. You can get your postage on demand with stamps.com. Ah, stamp. I was misreading it the whole time. With stamps.com, you can access all the amazing services of the post office right from Redes 24-7. You can buy and print official U.S. postage for any letter,

any package using your own computer and printer. This is very convenient for me. Me and Rachel recently moved. Now we're a bit further away from the post office that we use. And now I can just do all this shit at home for my desk and not have to go to the scary outside my house. Right now, you can use My Brother, the code My Brother, for this special offer. It includes up to $55 free postage, a digital scale, and a four-week trial. Don't wait. Go to Stomps.com before you do anything else. Click on the radio microphone at the top of the homepage and type in My Brother, All One Word. That's Stomps.com. Enter My Brother. Travis, this Jumbotron. What's the fucking deal? Well, Griffin, thank you for asking. This is for Craig from Mike, if you can believe it.

I don't. It's out of this world. And Mike says to Craig, I know there's nothing you want more in life than the Macroys congratulating you on getting married. So I bought a Jumbotron so they can tell you how happy they are for you. Congratulations, Craig. We're so happy you found someone as great as Sosie to spend your life with. We hope you have a great wedding day and a great weekend in Boulder. I do love, I noticed here, that what Mike has done switched from I to we to make it seem like we, the Macroys brothers, are saying this. That's bullshit, Craig. Don't fall for it. Mike wrote that. I was just reading it. This is a trick. I mean, I am to trick. I am psyched out of my mind, though. Lose fucking losing it. And I hope you have a great wedding day. And has anybody ever had

a bad weekend in Boulder? Probably. Yeah, probably. It's the city and people going through a lot of stuff everywhere. I got a message here for John and it's from Mark who says, thanks for being such a great friend. I'm sad that you are going to be moving away or have already moved. I had to write this message way before a date was set. I either miss you or I'm going to miss you. Who knows what's already happened by the time you hear this. Happy birthday wherever you are, whether you're in Phoenix, Milwaukee or anywhere else. This is one of the more abstract messages that we've ever had on the show, which is sort of the nature of the Jumbotron. It's applicable, I guess, to all Johns, wherever you are, whatever your heart is telling you tonight. If you feel your heart telling you

something, why don't you come on down talk to talk to us about Jesus. That one got a little twisted up a little bit. Hey, what's up with this last Jumbotron? Yeah, we got one last one here because she's straight from the hip with this one. Say it's from Shelby to Jordan. Happy birthday, Jojo. Thank you for being the best husband D&D partner and all around hard worker boy. It's been amazing to watch you grow into the person you are today. You are my inspiration. I love you the mostest. I love this one. It doesn't make us say a bunch of bullshit. It doesn't hijack our brains, mouths, and voices. It's just a message about a sweet love, a good sweet love. Yeah, this isn't like a funny like, I want to make Griven say duty noodles with his mouth or whatever. This is just like, hey Jojo,

you're great. Just stand and deliver that good sweet, sweet love. That's it for the Jumbotrons. We're going to get back to the rest of the episode. If you were in San Francisco, I hope you had a good time and we'll be back with another regular episode next Monday. So we'll see you then. And don't forget to check out macroshows.com slash two words. Yes, do it and then we'll see you then. Bye. We never know who you'll run into in Fairhaven, the city under the bubble. Allison Becker, Eliza Skinner, Keith Powell, Mucous drenched imp monsters, Rob Cordry, Cristela Alonso, Judy Greer, grotesquely possessive carnivorous plants, Justin McElroy, Travis McElroy, Griffin McElroy, terrifying malevolent sentient Beards,

John Hodgman, Paul F. Tompkins, Lisa Loeb, Bubble, the sci-fi comedy for maximumfun.org. Just open your podcast app and search for bubble. Um, okay, so, uh, I guess let's just get... I'm having some interference. Oh, shit. He's got it. It's that sound I've been looking for. Still going. I want a munch. I want to munch.

Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast. Within a podcast. I will say that as the first... Just let me finish. It's a podcast within a podcast about ladies and ladies and grace in quick service restaurant innovations. My name is Justin McElroy and I'll be your host this week for Munch Squad. It's the first time that the audience interaction part of that has hurt my ears. It's not... it's not pleasant. Paul, that was a generous pour. Um, whenever you get... if you find some Diet Coke back there, you go ahead on and just hit me with that because we're gonna need to slow things on down

if we're gonna make it to the end of the show. Munch Squad. Don't let bad potholes ruin good pizza. Domino's starts paving for pizza. Can I ask you a question right at the beginning of the premise? Yeah, scraps, go ahead. Have potholes ruined good pizza before this? Yeah, you fucking idiot. They were... they were one of the noise main weapons that he used in his fight. I need everyone to spiritually brace themselves. It'll help if you've seen Handmaid's Tale, I think. I haven't seen it, but I'm assuming it's about this. The largest pizza company in the world,

based on global retail sales, which seems like a good metric for that. No need to specify. Is saving pizza one pothole at a time? Cracks, bumps, potholes, and other road conditions can put good pizzas at risk after they leave the store. Now Domino's is helping to smooth the ride home for our freshly made pizzas. Starting today, Domino's is asking customers to nominate their town for pothole repairs at pavingforpizza.com. Are they filling these things in with cheesebread, sauce, pepperonis? No. As much as it may feel like cement once it's entered your body, no. They're using actual cement quote from Russell Weiner, president of Domino's USA. They got Russell for this one.

The president of Domino's. Have you ever hit a pothole and instantly cringed? We know that feeling is heightened when you're bringing home a carryout order from your local Domino's store. I got my kit in the backseat, but I'm way more concerned about the 12-inch sausage. Ah, I have an automatic thing on my passenger seat where if the passenger is sitting there, it reminds you to buckle their seat belt. And a few weeks ago, I bought enough pizza that it activated that. And then in my car's defense, I paid a lot for that pizza. I probably should buckle it in. Fair enough, fair enough car. We don't want to lose any great tasting pizza to a pothole ruining a wonderful meal, said Russell Weiner, president of Domino's USA.

Wait, how bad does a pothole have to fuck up your pizza that you throw it away? You hit the pothole, the pizza flips end over end because you live in Roger Rabbit. But okay, it might affect the pizza aesthetically, but you could still consume it. Daniel Tiger says that even if it's mushy, it still tastes good. Right. Domino's cares too much about its customers and pizza to let that happen. That is not true. If they, if they care about me, they have a funny way of showing it.

Domino's has already worked alongside four municipalities to help prepare roads. Jesus Christ! Those include Bartonville, Texas, Milford, Delaware, Athens, Georgia, and Burbank, California. Customers interested in nominating their town for a paving grant from Domino's can enter the zip code at pavingforpizza.com. If their town is selected, the customer will be notified and the city will receive funds to help prepare roads so pizzas can make it home safely. Customers can celebrate smooth roads with Domino's carryout special,

featuring large three-topping pizzas for seven, okay, it's it's 2018 and this is where we're at. Yeah, our infrastructure relies on Domino's. You know how like the final season of Lost took some weird twists and turns and that happened on a lot of shows like Felicity, Original, probably only just kind of racist, Roseanne, weird twists and turns. I feel like here in the final season of Capitalism, we're getting some like weird, like whoa! Yeah, like you all know that like there's a point at which Domino's is like we fixed all the roads we should probably govern.

Yeah, don't you think that we did a better job than your city? Do you want to just be a Domino's city? So you'll have to decide whether or not you want to vote Republican or PizzaCrat. And Taco Bell is like we could open up a traffic court if you guys want that. Would that be cool? The wheels are just way off the thing at this point. The thing is that the wheels are off. But they're not because they fixed the bottles.

Thank you, Travis. Okay, so we are going to... Thank you, Paul. Thank you. Thank you. Paul, you've saved the show. You're back on. Yay, welcome back, Paul Samoran.

All right, you saved the rec center. Yeah, that's good, Paul. That's real good. Can we get some house lights up? Because I have no fucking clue where the microphone is in the audience. If you would like to give us your pronouncement, of course, welcome that. Do not goof about it, though, because that sucks. You will be attracted from the theater. Sarah, the sentence that Sarah sent us was, to say the least, tantalizing.

Sarah asked, how do I get my friends to stop using their dog's dick to promote their furniture line? I know what I could say is, go off. Yes. Sarah has stepped 30 feet away from the microphone, recoiling. She did not think this was going to make it. I did not. And yet, here we all are, Sarah. You did walk down to the microphone, Sarah.

Kind of a fun cautionary tale for everyone. My friend volunteered to come for me, and I wish I had let her do it. Oh, my God, so much happened in the span of just a few seconds. Yeah, and it's also worth noting that we called three people a few minutes ago, and only two have come down. So one of those people is like, actually, fuck that. No way. All right.

They're sitting on the stairs. Sarah. Dog dick furniture line. Curious how that's germane isn't a little bit. Is it tie-dan? Is it a celebrity endorsement? A famous dog, Taco Bell Dog. Spuds McKenzie showing his dick.

So I have some friends of some friends who have a furniture store, and they constantly promote their furniture with their two dogs that are very cute on Instagram. And they always, like, zoom in on their dog's dick. They do, or you do. So as you're scrolling, it's like five pictures, like, oh, cute dogs. Oh, it's closer. I'm like, cute furniture. Oh, there's a dog's dick.

And they highlight it by using the lipstick emoji. No. No. So it's not on accident. It's not. It's very on purpose. Well, maybe they're showing that their couches are lipstick proof. No, it's probably the dick.

Why? Well, why? Did you ever ask? Hey, Sarah, why? Sarah, why, though? Well, no. No, I don't know. I need to communicate to them that this is horrifying and haunts my dreams.

Yeah, haunts the dreams. But what's the name of the store? No. No, no, no, no. They would hate it if they got any advertising for their thing that didn't involve a dog penis in it. They use a lipstick emoji, so they might like it. It's fresh kills there in Brooklyn. Okay.

Okay, so we'll edit that out. Here's the thing I'll say. It's working. Yeah, you're talking about it on our podcast right now. Can't stop thinking about these dog dicks on the Shae's lounge. Here's the thing, Sarah, what you are in right now is the circumstance. You can't say to them, we're like, hey, your dog's penis is present in there. Because they're going to say, yeah.

There's nothing wrong with it, I guess. But it's the, it's the. We're not, we're not here to mutt shame. Yeah, jeez. Come on, it's something. It's, come on. I'm not safe anywhere at this table. I'm doing my, the best up here.

She's probably made a very strong drink. How do I, how do I. Dog got it. How do you convince them not to do it? Here's, here's the Schrodinger's box of this situation. If you had gone to them and talked to them about this, they may have changed it. The fact that you've come on this podcast now and made it observed

and me, it promoted their, their brand on our show means they will never change it. It's working. You have a hard truth of the matter. Let me offer an option. If you, if you tried to like pull them away from it, I think that they will resist. So you have to push them towards them. Like, I think it's great the way you're using your dog's boner to promote the furnace.

And they'll be like, why? I'm like, yeah, I think it's great. I think dog boners really sell chairs and make them uncomfortable with how into it you are. If that doesn't work, nothing will. Does that help Sarah? Does that help? Okay. Okay, fair enough.

Hey, what's up? Hi, I'm Manny. Hi Manny. Hi Manny. I use she, her pronouns. Your question, oh man. How do I convince children that I'm not a time traveler? Curious.

Curious about this one. So I work at a living history museum. So my job is to dress up like I'm in the 1920s. And then people come to the park and I teach them about what it was like to live in my hometown in the 1920s. But like, at least once a week, children will come up to me and try to explain to me modern technologies. Yes, yes. Yes.

So I'll get kids that come up to me and are like, do you know what rap music is? Okay. But why do you want to stop this? Yeah, Manny, I have to say, if I could get young people to explain shit to me, I would pay any fucking price. Yeah, rules. If one of them is like, if one of them is like, hey, let me explain Snapchat, I'll fucking put on a handlebar mustache or whatever the fuck. I'll put in a monocle if you'll explain it in real Instagram order.

Like it would be funny at first and then be like, this is what a Finn stage. No, but yes. Um, Manny, uh, fuck this rule so bad. Here's the thing. All you have to do is keep going. What? And then this is great. Do you walk all the way back to electricity?

Like making like, how deep does the LARP go? Do you have to? They'll go back. They'll say, do you know, they'll hold up, they'll sell their cell phone. They'll say, do you know what this is? Okay. But do you have to play along as part of the job? Yes.

Awesome. I have to, I have to be historically accurate. That's part of my job. Can I, no, no, no. Can we just, I, if you're uncomfortable with this, please say so. I just want to know what this looks like with my eyes. If I like make believe I'm a teen. Yeah.

Can you like, Manny, can you like take a second and get into character? Deep breath. If you're uncomfortable, seriously, it is not a big deal. If you don't want to just say now, it's fine. This, this is an iPad. No, no, no, no. Manny has to agree to it. Yes.

Okay. Well, let Griffin interact. This is, you ever seen one of these? It's called a fortnight. That's a fidget spinner. You ever seen one of these before? I don't know what that is. What, what is that?

Okay. Let me, I don't know. I want to hear Griffin, Griffin, open this. This is a problem. I'm 31. I don't really know. Travis, you pretend to be a teen and explain it to me so I can then continue. Oh shit.

I don't know what a fortnight is. Justin. It's two weeks. Do you, do you play a specific character from history, or are you just kind of an extra from the 1920s? I'm an extra from the 1920s. Okay, okay, okay. Can I try it?

Griffin, display your computer to me. Okay. Yeah. This is a laptop. That sucked so bad. There is no amount of editing I can do to that to make it good for a podcast. The only thing you can realistically do is steal it and sell it to 1920s scientists. Like that's what you would do.

Like, oh, fascinating. And the next time they come back, everyone has cell phones. And you look at it, you change everything. You polluted the timeline. Oh my God. Can this park hire time cops to like buzz people who are upsetting the flow? There is, there are multiple eras in the park, and we're not allowed to go into other eras in our like future costumes.

It's called time warping and it's against the law in the park. Yes. This is the greatest day of my life. Is there, is there a sign present in the break room that says no time warping on? No, but they drill it into you during training. Fuck, that's awesome. When you watch Rocky or a picture show, are you just like, no, no, no. If they see any of you idiots jump to the left or step to the right, you're done.

Do you watch Westworld? Like, yep, looks, that's right. Yep, yep, yep. That's exactly it. Next time the kid shows you and talks about a different era, have them take you there. Oh shit. Ziggy Piggy. Nook food.

That's the only two things I can remember from Billy Ted's excellent adventure. Party on, dudes. Yeah, that's, they said that too. So great. Does that, I'm just so fucking jealous of your cool job in life. Thank you. What's the part called, can we get there in like a day? It's in Canada.

So no. No. We're not allowed back there anymore. Yeah, we did our best. Anyway, thanks Manny. Hope that helps. Thank you, thanks so much. I don't know if he helped at all.

So there are two people we've called who have decided to- No, no, no. Okay. Hey, hey. Hey, hello, hello, hello. Hi, what's, what's your, I almost said which one are you? What's your name? Liz.

Hi, Liz. Okay, Liz, do you want to call the next person so they can start moving? Not you, Liz. Not you, Liz. It's Griffin. Oh, I was confused by the construction of that sentence. Liz, pick a person at random. Caesar Row FF seat eight.

Yeah, seat eight. So come on down there and we're going to talk to Liz for a second. Liz asked, oh, it's another one of these. I work in a time travel part. No. No, the other one. My friend's dick will be on TV. Should I look?

It's tough. Go on. It's tough. Go on. Yeah, uh, he doesn't know that I know that it's going to be on TV. Wait, does he know that it's going to be on TV? I, yes. Okay.

Was he the Teen Wolf guy? And there was an accident this whole time. Y'all know that Teen Wolf has a dick in it, right? No, guess not. End of joke. So explain everything. Um, he's, he's an actor. Cool.

Okay. Um, and I want to support him and he was cast in a premium cable show. Oh, yeah. And he's, I assume, by the way, there aren't many other TV dick opportunities except on This is the weirdest episode of CSI New York I've ever seen. He was cast in an ABC family show. But he hasn't told anybody except for my friend who told me when she was drunk that he was going to do full frontal and he's just been working out and being like, I'm preparing for a role.

I'm so. Working out what exactly? Well, I want to, I want to support him, but I, but do I? No, you want to, I don't think there's any question about looking because you should, you should enjoy, you should enjoy the work and not stigmatize the work. But there's more questions that come after that answer. Um, I feel like a lot of college students have probably pondered this when their friend

was in a production of hair, right? Like, I feel like a few or equest or or or, but of course, if the question is, should I look at Daniel Radcliffe's dick, the interest? Yeah. Yeah. That's Harry Potter, my friend. You ain't going to see that again. I actually think, uh, not to make a question and make it too real, but I actually think that

you watching and saying like, Hey, you did a great job and not making it a big deal. Oh yeah. Don't say anything about his penis. Well, what? You knew that already. I actually think this is a comedy podcast. You didn't, Travis maybe thinks you thought that we needed to tell you to not say. Hey, very good acting in a nice hog.

Like that's not, that's not expected. No, no, no, no, I appreciate it. You coming at it in any kind of like awkward way where it's like, well, what do I say? Just saying like, Oh, I saw you. It was great. It was a great job. Like normalizing not. I think we'll go a long way for your friend who was probably a little bit nervous about

doing it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think being supportive is good. Absolutely do it. And maybe we get more hogs on TV. We do need more. Thank you, Griffin.

Yes, we're going to do a lot of hogs to correct that imbalance over the years, but I think we can do it. We all work together, hogs by the end of 2019. This is why we got to make season two of my brother, my brother and babe. No. But yeah, I think watch it. Your friend's going to be on TV. It's not like it's a very cool thing.

Watch it and tell them they did a great job. So Westworld of Game of Thrones. You know what I was going to say? Or the weird, I was going to say Chuck. That's not a show anymore. Is it Chuck? It popped into my head because of that one. Is it Sabrina the Teenage Witch or or West Wing?

Does that help? Yeah, I'm I'm going to look at it. Good. Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it. Oh, my. That's very good. Caesar, are you down here?

Yeah, I think we're good. We got two more people on. Hey, what's up? Hi. Hi. What's your name? Carly. Carly.

Yes, I may have forgotten that we called two people down and I got very scared. But what's up? It's okay. Your question. It's another cautionary tale. Yes. It sure is. It's a not handing your sister your phone and saying send whatever.

Oh, no. Do you still want to go through with it? Because if the answer is no, it's okay. No, no, no, no, no. She's furious. So it's hilarious. Guys, this is you are about to get the fucking Rosetta Stone to understand everything that we've been talking about for the past minute.

Carly's question. What's your sister's name? Kayla. Kayla. Yep. Kayla's question for Carly was, I've never listened to your guys show before. So I don't understand a lot of your references. Can you guys summarize your show for me?

The sad thing, Carly, is there haven't been that many in-jokes in this one. They've all just kind of been regular jokes you didn't like. And that's fine. That's totally fine. I do appreciate that you heard jokes that you didn't get and thought, surely there's something more to this. No, it's been good. Cool, cool, cool.

That's so cool, huh? I hate you, Carly. That means a lot. Do you like horses? Do I like horses? This is, this is dope. Like, we never get, we never focus test. This is dope.

You like horses? Ah, okay. Now, do you think it'd be funny if three people were super into that? But it's like, it was deeply ironic and everybody kind of knew it. Still know it looks like. Okay. How do you feel about ghosts? We, already?

Ghosts are great. Yeah, well, it's not any more, unfortunately. Wow, we just, it's a real, it's a real whole thing of a song. This is a real breakfast at Tiffany's situation right now, Carly. I like Dungeons and Dragons. Hey, you coming tomorrow? Well, bad news. Are you coming tomorrow?

I am coming tomorrow. Okay. Because Kayla had tickets for both, and I said, sure. Okay, Carly, you could have stopped there. So we're brothers. Yeah. That's cool. We do.

That's not real. That's not real. We used to tell people it was a comedy advice show, and then we had someone who was opening for us say that they were disappointed that we didn't give more advice about how to do comedy better. So we don't say comedy advice show anymore. Then we start saying it's a bad advice show, and that's, I mean, that just sounds bad. That sounds, that's, oh, I mean, it sounds like Dr. Ross, but.

Are we forgetting anything? And West Virginia, right? Yeah. Yeah. West by God, Virginia. Carly, does that help? It does. And congratulations on Fallout 76.

Thank you very much. We asked Todd very nicely. I appreciate it. Everybody in the line to ask a question is giving the person in front of them a good 45 feet. Do you want? Yes. This is, this will probably be our last question. Cesar, hello.

Your fucking question. My dog. What should my wife's first cuss words be? Yes. We're waiting. So we just got married last week. Congratulations. Your wife, is your wife here?

What? Is your wife here? Yes, she's up there. Hey, hello. I just waited everybody in the balcony at the same time. And now, of course, as tradition states, once you are married, you're finally allowed to curse. And she has never cursed before, yes. You are, I mean, can you come down also?

I know it's an imposition. It's going to be weird if we don't talk to you too. If you don't want to, it's fine. If you don't want to, it's fine. It's completely fine. It's your choice. We'll talk to Cesar for a second, let you think about it. What if you just from your seat yelled at a cuss word right now?

No. Completely negated. No, that'll be the end of it. But we have some time to get there. How does something like that even fucking happen, Cesar? So as she told me. Wait, hold on. Is she okay with you talking about this?

Yeah. Okay, go. No, she's good. Can you get a thumbs up confirmation from? Yeah, we're good. Okay. Doesn't want to talk about it herself, for sure. All right.

Yes, so. So. Just didn't know any. Bible school. Oh, yeah. Told her Bible school teacher told her, had a friend that she said that they once cursed and that when they sat down on the toilet, a rat bit them. Yeah.

No, no, no, don't get it. No, don't get it twisted. That's why they're called curse words. And she just never did it. And then it was kind of just stuck. Holy shit. That's we're going to curse a lot. I feel like during this one, but not out of like a joke.

Like we can curse. But because everything that has been said so far is the most buck wild. I know what I said earlier. I don't want you to yell it out here for the show because that's selfish of us. I do. Like if everyone closed their eyes, maybe we turn the light sound and just from the darkest, we just heard piss. Yeah, we did a little, little piss in the graveyard game real quick.

Does your wife use other? Sorry. Her name? Lizzie. Still Lizzie. Still Lizzie. Use other. I'm sorry.

Paul made this drink so strong. I'm just fucking barely hanging on. Does, does Lizzie use substitute curse words? Like during it, like Laura during it. Not really. No. Lizzie's trying to hammer an ale into the wall. She fucks up, hits her thumb.

What sound does she produce? She kind of just, I think would yell and collapse. Jesus. So she's got, so she's never cursed and she's got glass thumb. Great. And she would just, I like how you said it, just yell. Okay. Does, does Lizzie want a curse?

I think so. Yeah. Not he, he doesn't have to be here. No, no, no, no. Okay. Yeah. Here she goes. What?

Okay. Okay. We have limited time. We only have a few minutes. We have to weigh this. Travis says piss. I think bastard could be good. What about just all beans?

I think, I don't think this is up to us to decide. Lizzie, it's your first cuss. Can we turn the, would you like the lights down with that? Yeah, let's get the lights down. Let's get this. Yeah. We turn literally. We take the house lights out.

So I want. I told Caesar this would be a wedding present for him. My first curse word. Okay. Lizzie. So what I'm going to ask you for is five seconds of silence. Please don't. I want us all to be completely silent.

And then we will hear a curse word from somebody. No. And it'll be Lizzie. I mean, it's going to be Lizzie. You say from somebody and somebody else from the audience is going to yell it. Nobody else. You will be ejected from the theater. This is the most important thing that's ever happened on this podcast.

We all get to experience it together. So Lizzie, I'll ask you for a few seconds of silence and then just drop it on us. Go ahead. Piss. Folks. Speed up. Good. That is going to do it for us.

The seven C's. Thank you. Thank you. It was open. Oh, no. Oh, no. Thank you. Paul Soporen.

Thank you. I'm standing ovation. Thank you. Thank you, Lizzie and Caesar. Thank you to our daddy. Thank you to you. Thank you, everyone. My name is Justin McIlroy.

Wait. The final Yahoo. I'm Travis McIlroy. Let's hear it Griffin. Here's a final Yahoo. Thank you to the Warfield. Thank you to everybody. Thanks to Maximum Fun.

Finally, Yahoo was sent by Adrian Kells. Thank you, Adrian. It's Yahoo Answers user. Question mark. Fuck this website. Unless you work there. Thank you. Who asks, what do you do if you dab on them hater, but the hater dabs back?

I'm Justin McIlroy. I'm Travis McIlroy. I'm Griffin McIlroy. It's a bit my brother, my brother, because your dad's square on the lips. Hey, girls. And what to say? And I want her. Maximumfun.org.

Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Hey, everybody. Hal Lublin and Mark Aglerti from We Got This Here to talk about our upcoming live shows. Why don't you tell everybody the details about our show in Philadelphia? Sure.

Here's what you're going to do. You're going to go down to Philadelphia Improv Theater. Okay. I'm going to do it on Saturday, June 23rd. Okay. There are two shows. One is five o'clock show. There's an eight o'clock show.

At eight o'clock show, you can get a VIP ticket and hang out with us at 7 p.m. for like a whole hour. We'll sign something for you. You can hang out. You can talk to us and then come see a show. Both shows are going to be completely different now. Both shows? Both shows are going to be different.

I sounded like a British actor trying to do a Philadelphia accent. You can look up Philadelphia Podcast Festival. You can look that up and get tickets there. Or you can go to Philadelphia Improv Theater to the Fit Theater, PHIT, and you can get tickets there. Or you can just go direct at bit.ly forward slash we got Philly 2018. That's W-E-G-O-T-P-H-I-L-L-Y-2-0-1-8. you