My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 416: Face 2 Face: Haunted Doll Cinematic Universe

Episode Date: July 24, 2018

Juice is on vacation this week! We've got a live show for you in his absence -- it's from this past April, when the lovely denizens of Houston, TX came down to Jones Hall for an evening of friendship, fellowship, and an extremely buckwild installment of the Haunted Doll Watch. Enjoy!

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? This is the energy you want? We're not illuminated by light at all. It's kind of like, welcome to my show. I just saw this mic here, I was like, never talking to that one. I mean, if you want to see how long you can make that last, I'm all for experiment. We've done this like a hundred times now, if you want to experiment.

We've done it a hundred times, but we've never done it in Space City. What's up, Houston? Keep it going, Bayou City. Let me hear you, Hustle Town. Come on. You're looking at me like, I don't know Clutch City. These are my people. What's up? So excited to be here. Welcome, my brother. My brother made an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-aged brother, Travis McElroy. Yeah, I'm a sweet baby boy, Griffin. I didn't, okay.

I want Justin to do his Thai vibe. Yeah. Okay. Justin is standing at his own microphone. You're first, you're first. I'm, my name? You're, yeah, you're, I'm Griffin McElroy, 30 and the 30 middle-aged baby. Thank you. All right, so anyway, so happy to be here. This is just how my brain works, people. Listen, when you go on an airplane and they give you food and you eat it, sometimes it's different. Wait, Justin, I think we have something that'll help. Can we get him a bottle of, here, Justin, Justin, Justin, take this bottle of water too. Well, you don't sit. You don't actually sit. The stool is just there.

No, no, no. He's, he's hit a, he's hit a meaningful part. No, this is great. So now, Justin, okay, Justin's doing a lot of prop comedy. Sometimes people listen to this later. He's got his own stand microphone and he was just holding it about one foot off the ground, which looked really natural and very comfortable. If I'm, if I'm sitting, the thing where you take the mic off the stand and kind of lean the stand a little bit while you're talking to the microphone. Listen, no, not that. You're not seducing the mic stand. If I sit on a stool like this, all I want to do is sing fast car. Yeah. That's like, all right. Listen, we've been living in this moment for a while and we can all agree it was a mistake.

I'd like to come back to my seat now. You are welcome to come back to the table. Thank you. Thank you. Welcome, Justin McElroy. I didn't, I didn't realize that part of the pre-show prep involved going on Wikipedia to learn all of the Houston nicknames. And now I feel like a bad, I'm a native son. Like you're not even at all Houston in my mother native son. Okay. That's how we talk in Houston, Griffin. Don't even make fun of my stumbling on the words. I'm still very nervous from over there. I felt very put on, put it, put it on the spot. Literally. The table hides a lot. The table hides a whole lot. Like maybe my zipper's down, but it's not. I checked it. I always check it while I'm walking

on stage. That's the God on us too. Yeah. If you pay attention, you'll see all three of us just real quick. Just go like, that's our like little ear poll. Yeah. So God, I forget what we were even going to do for intro because what Justin did was just so good. History will be the judge of that. Okay. We were backstage. Justin was looking at Houston nicknames. I saw my phone. I saw a news story and started talking about it to the boys. And we all sort of realized, no, hold on. We got to talk about this in front of the folks. And we never do this on this show, but it was so important and so I think it could be a launch pad for some of our twisted, skewed advice. It's time for us to talk about topical news. Yes. Well, there's a nature photographer. Topical or tropical?

He was in a rainforest in Indonesia. So close, I guess. He has taken pictures. And he leaves his camera out. This is a segment called what Griffin remembers of the news story he read 30 minutes ago. You would think he has a computer. I assumed he had it pulled up. No, better like this. Taking pictures. Go walks away from his camera for a little bit, which is like cameraman one one. You don't do that photographer. You got to leave it out there, but no, you don't leave it out there because what happens next is a monkey comes down from a tree, takes a selfie with it. It's very good. This image, the photographer says that's my image. Wikipedia puts it on Wikipedia says, no, it's creative comments because you didn't take it. A monkey did.

This is the first of eight layers of this story. Photographer tries to get it taken to Wikipedia. Wikipedia says, no, monkey took it. You didn't take it. He gives up. Peter sues the photographer for including the image in a book that he printed and sold saying, that's not your image. You are violating the monkey's trademark or copyright, not trademark. This is what Griffin remembers of the news. The monkey mailed the photo to himself and didn't know. Okay. Peter and the photographer get together and talk about it. Apparently, there's some precedent where people representing all dolphins ever sued the navy for using sonar and the dolphins lost. So Peter was like, we don't want to establish a precedent by bringing this

to court. Let's settle. That's pretty wild. So you've wondered why dolphins have been had a little spring in their step a few extra bucks in their wallet. That's why nice, nice class action. They decide to settle. Peter and the photographer decide to settle. The ninth circuit court of appeal says, no, we're going to hear this one fucking out. The ninth circuit court of appeal says, actually, we're going to get into this one. We want to find out far no farther. We've had a lot of boring ones lately, and we want a fun one. Yeah. About monkey photographers. We want to have our own scope is monkey trial. The reason why they wanted to take it to trial. That was very good. It was very good. The reason they wanted to take it to trial is because Peter agreed to settle.

The photographer agreed to settle. The monkey did not agree to settle. That's a great point. That's if the monkey has the right to claim a photograph as his own, the monkey has a right to legal representation. This is all true, by the way, as is this last delicious layer on the onion. The monkey's name is Naruto. Now, so much, so much bad news this week was in some small part counteracted by Naruto, the photo monkey. And we've got him here tonight. Naruto, come on. He's attacking us. I do want to, I do want to change your verdict just for a second. The monkey has been named Naruto. The monkey was not like, hi, I'm Naruto. I took the photo. Please credit me.

You owe me some royalties, I believe. Would you like it in the form of bananas? No, I want fucking money. Money. I have a mortgage. Do you have bananas, by the way, while we're on the budget? But also, banana wouldn't hurt. Banana would be nice. I have a Yahoo here, if you would allow me to. Somewhat, now that I'm reading it, similar to our opening topic. Sent by Carl Vincent Boddy. Thank you, Carl. It's Yahoo Answers users. Sorry, something's gone wrong. On Yahoo? Uh-oh. The website disappeared. Before I could read it. Gonna jack back into the web. Are you guys, do you guys have spotlights on you because it's sweltering? Are we all equally very uncomfortable right now? Alright, it's by Yahoo Answers user. It's just not gonna fucking load.

This is a trash website. Yahoo Answers user, Naruto. Naruto the photo monkey asks. Can you make a Doritos commercial without copyrights? My friends and I were planning to make a Doritos commercial and show it to the school. My dad pointed out that there might be copyright issues. Fucking dad of the year. Yeah. That's a clutch play from that dad. Clutch? We are not planning. Clutch City recognizes a clutch play. We are not. Okay. And that's just gonna buy us 10 seconds every time. We are not planning to post it or make money off of it. That's not how copyright law works. We actually saying the word Doritos up here is probably against the law. Yeah. We will call them stinky tortilla chips.

Doritos. That's still not gonna hold up. I think if you land in the Doritos family, I think they can still get you. Yeah. Doritos. Doritos works actually. Thank you. This dad, you're gonna, yeah, we're gonna make a Doritos commercial and show it to the whole school and they'll remember it forever. Copyright. You can't copyright. Copyright. They'll take you to Chip Jail. Chip Jail. You're my beautiful child and I can't watch you go down like that. You're too talented at movies. All right, Cliff, you oversold it. Listen, Cliff, you oversold it. I know, brain. I know. I was trying. I got greedy. Pull it back in, Cliff. You've got this. I mean, if Doritos doesn't find out, you're probably okay, right? But you never know.

But they will find out. You never know who the secret Doritos spies are. That kid in your class is like the coolest kid. It's just like, Doritos release. Yeah. If there's a kid in your class who skateboard, who crunch, he crunch. His name is ranch, but he's very cool. So everybody calls him a cool ranch. His name is Xavier stream, extreme one surefire sign, the breath and fingers. Yes. Check the breath scope of fingers. That's how you know if it's a secret Doritos cop. That's why he's always wearing gloves. A zest, a zest unbelievable. And at his age, and when he eats chips that aren't Doritos, they turn to ash in his mouth. We've just mixed our metaphors. I was talking about a secret cop employee of Doritos and you

did somebody who suffered a terrible Doritos curse. No, I said that chips that aren't Doritos turns to ash in his mouth. Again, a terrible, I guess Doritos curse. Why would he want to eat any, he would have a chip in his body. You're right. That made it so he could only read. You're right. I'm the wrong one. What? Unless what if it's a very good Doritos commercial that everybody in your school likes a whole lot and makes him go by Doritos and gets you hired as the new Doritos Super Bowl commercial person. Officially. Official. That's the thing is copyright law. The tiny, tiny loophole is unless it's good. Unless it's good and we like it. You know, you hear a lot of game designers get

their start making like doom levels. Maybe this is how you get your start making Doritos commercials. You make your own, sweeted. You can't even afford Doritos. You just have to write it on a plastic bag. Fill it with dirty chips. Can you make your own Doritos at home? Can you sweet Doritos? The chip not for a cordial. I know where to get tortilla chips. I know where to get pizza. Can I find some? Do they just grind that shit down and just rub it? Throw it into a fan with the chips hanging in front of it. Yes, sell those on the playground 25 cents a bag. Oh no, words gotten out. Cool. Ranch is coming. Shut it down. I have chips. I have a gallon sized Tupperware container that my grandfather passed down to me that's labeled zest. So he just makes

those together. How about a regular question? Yeah, it's very warm. If you're listening later, I just pulled my shirt off very cool and everybody was so excited about how smooth it was. Like I'd taken off a shirt before. Like five of his muscles popped out. How about a question from our beloved audience here on my BimBam. We take your questions and turn them out with me like into wisdom. This is our first question. My girlfriend and I have been dating long distance for almost a year now and recently I went to visit her and her family. Upon arriving, I found that my girlfriend's dad is a pro Wii sports bowler. He goes to tournaments. Thank you to him from us. He goes to tournaments weekly and takes it so seriously that he stays up until

2am some nights to practice. Fuck yes. It's actually not healthy. You have to take care of your body as well. He sleeps till 2pm. I'll tell you this. He's got one super healthy appendage and it's the whichever one he holds the Wii mode. Weekly tournaments? Where? Is that scene still that hot? Weekly cash tournaments that he has gone pro? I'm not great at bowling, virtual or reality, but I want his approval. What can I do to impress him or at least show that I appreciate his virtual technique? And that's from hoping for a strike in Houston, Texas. Are you here? Sure. Are you here? Are you Legion? Yeah. Why is your question about your girlfriend's dad and not about how you're a hive mind? I mean, if you just want to prove that you appreciate his ability, just watch him and go

nice. Nice. That was real good, Doug. There are very few reactions you can give to watching somebody weeble that don't feel like you're full of shit, I feel like. Yeah. I feel like, oh nice is about it and then anything like, oh yeah, they're just going to assume you're being asked. The right reaction is this. Nice. Oh, why are you getting high in front of bowling, dad? I mean, it's 2am. He's weebolling. Yeah, he is high, isn't he? Also, my girlfriend's dad loves cocaine. That's another thing. Just mountains of that good white stuff. Crazy about it. Well, that's what happens on the pro scene. That's the pro scene. That's the pro weebolling scene. It's nasty out there. Pro? He doesn't have another job? Is this what esports is? Yeah. I've worked in the industry for a literal decade now,

and I'm still not sure what people are talking about. I think they just misspelled the word sports, and I don't think that's that unreasonable. Esports is when you take the hard part of doing the thing and make it easy. That's true, because if you think about the difference between playing football versus like playing a Madden game, it's a big, big physical difference. Or murdering a bunch of people in a shooting game. But the difference between real bowling and weebolling is just removing about an ounce. It's about 11 pounds. Yeah, about 11 pounds. Otherwise, pretty much the same activity. Pretty much the same thing. What if you glued a bowling ball to his wee moat and said, I got you this? That'll really just fucking fuck his TV right up. Are you kidding me? That'll fuck the drywall

behind the TV up. That'll fuck up the TV in the next house over. I do like that, though. You've got to, I mean, you've got to beat him, right? You have to beat him. Oh, you're not gonna. You're not gonna. Unless. Unless? I don't think I actually had one. No, actually, what you have to do for this to work, you have to almost beat him. Yeah, you have to like, eke out a close loss, right? Of like, your one point behind him. So it's like, I respect your game, but I'm the pro here, right? So then it balances out. Okay, if you beat him, he's gonna smell that taking a dive with the bedding in that scene, you think he's not gonna see someone taking a dive? Okay, hold on. Unless, I got to know. Unless. I thought of one. This isn't how it usually works, but unless you wait for him to get like,

sick, and then you play him. Like the flu or something. Okay, got it. And then you just crush him because this weak body can't handle the sports you're bringing. And you put super heavy batteries in his controller too. Yes. Hi, is this circuit city? Yes, it is. Why are you still open? We're the last one. I bought this store. This is the circuit city. I'm the mayor. Welcome. Thank you for calling the last circuit city. How can I help you? Yes, I need some very heavy batteries. And of course, sir, is this for it? No, before you ask, it's not for a dad prank. Also, if you roll the bowling ball on the side of the bowling alley where the wall is and get it to go on top all the way to the end, all the bowling pins fall over

and there's a big explosion. That's a cheat code. And you can use that. The truth. I didn't make it up. Roll it on the top. I beat so many kids at Toys R Us with that. And they were like, what? That's cheating. And I was like, it's in the game. Just fucking take him real bowling. There's no way. What if he doesn't know about real bowling? What if he's so excited? Oh, I love this. I love this. Who came up with this. This is great. And then you're like, hey, oh, shit, take it wasn't further. I know how much you love we bowling. So I built this place for you. It's like my game Valerie. It's like the game you got me. It's like the game I love bowling. I call it dugs ball. There is no real bowling. How's the ball even

supposed to come back? It's a video game. You think you think there's a little plumber around stomping on mushroom and get it together. It's in the game. Bowling's imaginary. Griffin, how about another Yahoo! Answer question? Yeah, absolutely. This one was, this one was sent in by Adrian Cowles. Thank you, Adrian. It's a Yahoo! Answers user. No, it's just some letters. It asks, if you were part of a construction crew and while digging the foundation, you stumbled upon ancient gold coins. What would you do then? Would you report the fine to the archaeology department of the construction company? Legally, they have to have one and usually they're very bored. Yeah.

What did you find? The spark plug? Cool. How qualified does that position have to be? I'm going to go back to practicing Wii bowling. We found like a hundred skeletons. Shit. Okay, that's my day. All right. Human skeletons or not? If you were part of the archaeology department or would you and your colleagues share the quote unquote bounty? I don't know why you needed a quote unquote bounty on that. That's a bounty you got there, my son. Yeah. After reporting, would you stuff some in your pocket, take home and sell them online or would you turn them all to the governments? Hey. Hey, is this city hall? Is this city hall? Is this government? Okay, correct me if I'm wrong.

This is a question in two parts, right? Because it's would you keep it for yourself or would you report? And if you report it, would you still steal a little bit? That's a wild part to me. Why do you need that heat? You just want to feel it? You want to feel something? You want to steal when they know they're watching you? Like you don't think that might pop up if you're onto the EVA and they're like, hey, you know that big box of coins you gave us? Some of those also showed up over there. Isn't that weird? I wouldn't touch it. It's cursed. It's clearly cursed. It's cursed. I've seen Pirates of the Caribbean Black Pearl 12 times. Today.

Hey, shit. He watches it on six TVs twice. Thank you. I'll watch it at 1.5 speed. If you, I don't think you can just steal it and sell it because you don't know how much it's worth. And if it's very good gold coins or if they're just okay gold coins, you don't know. You don't know what the minimum bid should be. Yeah, you don't want to walk into a pawn shop and hand them like, these are all Chuck E. Cheese tokens. Right. You need an expert to evaluate them, like the experts at Pawn Stars, to look at them and say, all right, these are very good. Congratulations. You're going to be a very rich person. $200. $200. Yeah. I have another question. When I'm walking, I love to skip. Okay. The problem is that I'm 31 years old. I'll glance

around furtively to check that no one's around to see. And then off I go. The wind in my hair, the floaty bounce down the street. It feels great. But if someone sees, they look at me like, I'm batshit. And the moment is ruined. At some point between child and adult, skipping becomes taboo. And then everyone loses out. Hey, brothers, how can we bring skipping for adults out from the underworld and give everyone the freedom to have a little bounce in their step? Yeah. That's from Can't Stop the Skip, who I bet just got a lot more affirmation than they expected. Can we all agree that like skipping rules? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. We have a lot of fun here. And sometimes y'all, I feel like you're pressured to agree with anything

we say. It's great. No, it's great. What was the last time you skipped, though? We're getting a lot of actual answers. Okay, yeah. Three weeks. I wrote it on a calendar because I had so much fun doing it. Nine days, 13 hours. And I knew I'd be tested at some point in the future. It's just, it is that it's weird because I don't know exactly where the point is, but I see a six-year-old skipping. I think, ah, Americana. Beautiful. Freedom. Go for it. Yeah. I see a 16-year-old skipping. I'm like, what is going on? Yeah. What did, what did they steal? What did they huff? They're on that skip. They're huffing skip. Oh, but I tell you, the worst thing of all, chief, the worst thing of all, there's a counter on that ball. No.

Oh. Okay. There was a toy called, who in here is 40? There was a toy in the 70s called, okay, anyway. It is faster. It's faster. You can truck. You can fucking plays when you're skipping. Yeah. You got a meeting you're running late for. You see the train pull up. You walk, gone, missed it. Skip it. You run into the back of the train because you got in it so fast and hard. You maybe can't even stop. Yeah. You pass the train. That's it has to catch up to you. That's the problem. If you're of a certain age, the problem becomes stopping skipping because that don't, it doesn't look cute folks. As an adult, the, the, the motions to stop a skip. There's a lot of kinetic energy that you're having to work against. Here's this.

I think we can sell skipping as everybody's fast paced lifestyle on the go. Houston, especially like got to get to fourth largest city in America. Yeah, you got to skip around. Got to skip around. I got to get, I got places to be. I got appointments. I've got to skip, but Justin, what's their annual import X for it? But stopping is embarrassing. So on the front of every business will be a little human stable that you can kind of just start like a human garage that you can kind of, you skip and you're outside and you're like, Hey, and then you hit the human stable and you're like, and inside the stable is just one wall of a bounce house that you can run into. And just fully stop. And now, and now you're going to walk because you're in a bank now and

you're in a church and this is a respectful place. You should not skip in front of Christ. You know, they're going to find a way to charge you though. You're going to find a way to like skip, skip, skip. That'll be $3, please. I mean, that's the problem is that adults tend to just ruin everything. And so I think if we all started skipping, eventually it would become competitive. Yeah. And then people would start marketing like skipping shoes. Yes. Special skipping equipment. Where can I buy it? Now I'm interested. Right. And then it's just like, where's the fun? I thought this was about the love of the sport. Wait, what about the skipping shoes? Take me back. Where'd you get them Travis? Don't leave me hanging. Come on. I made them at home. I glued

several other pairs of shoes together. Pieces of them. Not just shoes. You, I don't think you necessarily want skipping to be socially acceptable because I think that's what you like about it. Oh, that it's dirty. It's dirty and wrong. And you're skipping. You know how you do it. You're making like this face like. If you're listening later, Griffin just made a face like he was skipping and getting away with it. But he's giving it kind of a shi- I'm a naughty boy thing. Kind of a naughty face. Guys, even just sort of bouncing up and down my chair like that felt kind of good. Hey guys. Hey everybody, can we just bounce for a second? Moving kind of feels nice. I don't see you bouncing. Come on. This has turned into a fucking Wiggles concert and we're

done. Hey, I got a yahoo here that was sent in by Nick Potter. Thank you Nick. It's yahoo answers user Jenny. Thank God. Who asks, what can I do to make a trash can really smelly? That's right. The best shit about yahoo is not the questions. It is the like the accessories interjections around it. I have these obnoxious kids that play basketball every day slash evening right behind my townhouse and occasionally hit my home. I'm assuming with the basketball it's not some way that they like keep score is by punching the shit out of your townhouse. Anyway, it's annoying as hell and I need to do something that will prevent them from playing basketball. I have a trash can that is right next to where these kids play basketball. So I figured I'd make my trash can

unbearably smelly lol. What a weird use of lol. Like I'm hatching an evil scheme. What a weird use of all your brain to generate this. If you said to your friend, hey, I love playing basketball here with you, but I'm starting to suspect that the person who owns the townhouse next to our basketball court is intentionally making their trash can more smelly to prevent us from playing. Your friends would lock you in prison. They would put you in mind jail for being so buck wild. That just makes this the perfect crime. It is a crime. I think it's disrupting the piece or something. There's two things I want us to think about. Parameters that I think are very important. One, it is an outdoor area so the level of smell you will have to achieve so that some teens playing

basketball will be like, wait, hold on, what is that? Well, that's the thing, Travis. They can't just be distracted by it. I don't know that I've ever been playing basketball. Period. And I get in the sentence pretty much. I don't know. I don't know that I've ever been playing basketball and smelled something that made me want to stop playing basketball. That is a wild connection to make. Except for a pie on my neighbor's windows. Okay, this person is going about it all wrong. Not smell bad. Smell good. Smell good far away. Yes. Yes. Smell good, unplaceable. Make their homework. Smell very good. Or just like a similar, just kind of a scent where they're like, what is that? Well, you made it smell like their grandmother's attic

and they're having such strong sense memory they can't play basketball anymore because they're thinking about the beautiful times they had in grandma's attic looking at old photos. Thank God you found the world's only nostalgic teenagers to play to play basketball at your home. Here's an idea. We're not going to solve this one. No, I can solve it. I can solve it. Don't make the trash can more smelly. Put the trash can under the hoop. So they go for a nasty dunk, and then all of a sudden there's coffee grinds all over the dang, dang ball. Nobody wants to play and there's a bunch of peanut butter and lemon juice on their favorite basketball game over. I can't make nasty dunk with this nasty ball. This is too nasty for me. There's jelly all over it.

Here's the... I didn't see that trash can there when I dunked it. You have to put it out there fast or put a Roomba on it that can automatically... Okay, that was going to be my point is that they could just move the garbage can. Not when there's a Roomba on it. Yeah, but... You know, don't program a Roomba for something so hateful. Don't program a Roomba to transport stink around. That's the opposite of what a Roomba wants. What a Roomba's supposed to do. No, no, no. A Roomba's programming. They're so near sentience, please. Just let them develop on their own. Don't teach them about evil. Even if there's a Roomba on the bottom of it, I think they could still move it like 100 feet away, and then they have a little

bit of wild play basketball before the Roomba comes back. And that's an issue. What you have to do is go out there and say, oh, this game looks like fun. What's it called? Baskets Fall? I would love to try playing it. By the way, you're very good at basketball and you're totally putting them on. Also, you stink like shit. You stink like dog shit. And you are going to be doing some deep coverage in the paint. So in the paint, you are going to be technical fouling. You'll lose the game, but you'll win the day. Yeah, but they'll lose the game by which I mean not want to play it again. Well, at that point, why can't you just hustle them? Like if I win, you never play basketball here again. That has nothing to do with smell, Justin. Oh, fair. Also, because we already did

it like a hustling joke, I feel like in this episode, we don't want to do a second. We already did one hustle. Do we have another question? Yeah, let me see. We're going to do audience questions, by the way. We're not taking, not right now, but that's what we do. We do do that. We just wanted you to get very excited and then disappointed really fast. Grif, why don't you start another Yahoo? Go ahead and just start another Yahoo for me. It just popped up. This just popped up. Thank you for the hot in from HQ. The spooky lighting that matches the temperature of the lights that are currently giving us a nice deep tan. It's a haunted doll watch. This is a very good one. Haunted doll, magical, amazing power, unique spirit, powerful white

lighter. It's so much so fast. Yeah, that's my favorite out of that whole thing. Unique spirit, unique spirit, not one of those bland, boring, like nickel and dime spirits. This is one of the only haunted doll descriptions I've ever read where this is directly from eBay. By the way, you can go buy this doll if you want. By the way, we did a haunted doll watch last night. Somebody bought the doll like immediately tweeted at us that they bought it. So that was a mistake on their part. This is the only one I've ever read where it works. That's not the right word. Here is, this is the only one I've ever read that it seems more like song lyrics than here is Sandy. She is a magical doll. Period. Is she a magical doll? Is she a magical doll?

She is a haunted doll. Don't fucking get your mythology mixed up. Magical dolls are wonderful spiritual entities. Exclamation point. Okay. Sandy is somewhat of a white lighter slash dark spirit. Interesting, isn't it? How we only got white lighter in the headline. And then we find out later she's kind of a dark spirit also. I hope you already clicked buy it now. What does that mean? Oh, I can answer this. Nothing. It means she's not all negative energy, just very powerful. She isn't afraid to use the power. She's empowered. She's strong. She knows her place in the world. I love this doll. So she'll watch a marathon of like HGTV with you. Yes, but she might be a little snarky about it during

also the TV is going to float off the entertainment center. She is more than a white lighter. She is an energetic spirit with boundless energy. She has been used in some dark magic. Just right when I'm ready to click. She remains a white lighter. See that's like hot and cold. Yeah. Of complete dookie nonsense words. This is the next sentence. I'm going to read this verbatim. Say ounces. Oh, she loves say ounces. Don't get me started on say ounces. Very next sentence falls it up.

Crystal balls are another of her favorites. Okay, just keep those around. She telepathically has told that she has done some very dark questionable things. What? But through those experiences, she has acquired knowledge of magic through all of her previous owners. This has made her very powerful. She said that she only became a dark spirit when necessary. They pushed her into this. She didn't want have you seen prison break? Hold on. I haven't. Is it about a doll? I just let her tell me what she wants it to and she tells me a lot. She loves to telepathic conversations. She loves to telepathic conversations. The twinkle in her eyes show how willing she is to please. Sandy. Come on. It's a little kid. It's not. It's a dead little kid. Sandy has been

used by some very powerful witches in warlocks. She's lived with witches, shamans, wizards, fortune tellers, warlocks and sorcerers and Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler. For a brief time, she lived with Shaming Tatum in his beach house. She is sought after because she enhances their spells. So they are very powerful. She sought after. Why is she uneven? Thank you. By the way, can you give me that price? You can place a bid on good old Sandy for 11.99 currently. So if you highly sought after. So if you're a warlock or a sorcerer, it's good news. Hey, it started at one penny, but there's a bunch of warlocks and fortune tellers just running it up one penny at a time. Okay. This one is a little perplexing for me.

Oh, this is the first perplexing. She has been used by the very experienced in the magical realm by those who value her mini gifts. She has said telepathically and she has many stories she can tell you. She's a kind of tail spinner, Sandy. Have we as for, hold on, hold on. As for mortals, only the very experienced or those who have some form of seventh sense are recommended for her. What's the seventh one? The seventh sense? We got, we found another one. I think that's taste supreme. I think it's, I think six is umami. Seventh is Spidey. Sandy is a white lighter connected to the other world. Jesus Christ, we get it. Something of a guardian who protects and guides witches, mortals with magic gifts to

protect and nurture them as their powers evolve. However, she is also dark Sandy. Oh, will cast spells or precursors on those who have betrayed you? Which is she mostly though, eBay? She will make it her goal to even the score. Okay. Holy shit. You will have to tell her when you think they have had enough, then she will stop. What? No. Are you kidding me? Who is looking at this like 11.99 though? Are you serious? Sandy, please. Sandy, they've had enough. Have they? Have they? We are 15 paragraphs in and I still have no idea what this fucking doll looks like, eBay. Any kind of description. No, I can see the image. It's just like you've given me her biography. Right. Just a one cent. The doll is also very good.

She is very hyper and will transfer some of her energy to you. You will be able to feel it as it is electrifying and tingling. You will just need to tell her where to put that energy into. You make the decisions. You make the decisions with her around things start to get better. Good luck, happiness, financial and well-being. She offers an open door for you to wish for what you want and see it come to you. She is very helpful with money too. Okay. Now, do you mean magical or is she like spend a lot on gas this month? She's have you diversified? She's helpful with money starting now after you've bought the haunted doll. I really like the next line. Oh, okay. I hate to see her go. She has, but I love me some $12. I'm out of enemies to smite.

She killed all my enemies. Even Brenda, who was mean to me at Uker. I made that up. I hate to see her go. She's brought me a small windfall of $400. $412. Just when I need it the most. This is a okay. You have said this doll is in your possession. You said this doll will make you good at financial. You said this doll made you $400. You're selling them for $12. You are still pretty bad at financial. All right. This is where this one starts to lose me. I have enjoyed her immensely. She has told me telepathically not to get too attached to her as she is just visiting. I'm a rambler. Listen, I'm a loner, a rebel. Her owner, who is a witch, said Sandy told her telepathically it was time to go to her next owner, who is waiting for her to let her go. Wait. What? So you're a broker at

this point? You're selling the doll for a witch, you know? In the meantime, they gave you $400. Anyway, so that's a haunted doll watch. Good lord. That's... That... You only have five days and 16 hours at this point, so you want to get on that. That one was like its own cinematic universe, which I appreciate it. Hi, everybody. It's Griffin and Travis of The Present. Hi. Hello. Hi. Did you see it come in there, stranger?

Oh, stranger kick off your boots. Stranger. Oh, nope. You got the stink feet. Did you hear me razz them, Travis? Did you hear me razz our listener? You got them. Yeah. That'll teach them for listening to our show. Justin's in a toilet again, and I'm sorry that that's what I say every time Justin's not here, but it's never not true. Yeah. I mean, statistically speaking. For sure. So thank you for listening to our Houston live show. Justin is on a toilet vacation this week, and so we miss him very much. We hope you enjoy our Houston show. One note before we forget, before we get into the money zone, is that the next part you're going to hear in the Houston show

is actually, this is an older episode. So this is before we did our new way of doing audience questions. They're still good, but I didn't want you to think that we'd stop this bold new innovation in question solicitation technology. But yeah, that's coming up soon. But first off, Travis is going to tell us all about fucking Squarespace. I also want to say real quick, before I get to fucking Squarespace, I want to talk about real quick. Thank you to everybody who came out to all of our book events for the Adventure Zone graphic novel, which is out now in find bookstores, and you can find different places to order online at theadventurezonecomic.com. Thank you to everybody who's bought it so far and everyone who will buy

it in the future. And I really appreciate everybody who came out to all the Comic Con events. It was just lovely. So let me tell you about Squarespace. Listen, I love Squarespace very much. I use it for a lot of projects, including macroshows.com. You can turn your cool ideas into a new website. That's the most wonderful thing. If you have a spontaneous website, boom, you hop on there, you can have it up in like 30 minutes. It's like, take your idea, make it a website in like a half hour, showcase your work, announce upcoming events or special projects. They have beautiful templates created by world-class designers, and they have an e-commerce functionality. So you can sell things online, and it's free and secure hosting, and there's nothing to patch or

upgrade ever. They have 24 seven help desk, and you can find like, you know, tutorial videos for anything you want to do. So there's really nothing stopping you from having an amazing website online now. Yeah, but this e-commerce function has got me thinking, Travis, I think I'm gonna make the website to sell my hat. Okay, just the one hat? Yeah, you know that hat I have, and I've been looking to get rid of it for a while to get some funds for a new, a different hat, a new hat. So I'll get that up online to make sure to tweet the link out, and someone buy my, someone buy my fucking hat. You know, I've got a lot of those, I got a lot of movies in HD format, like when you could buy the HD disk before Blu-ray. The HD DVD, yeah. Yeah, and when it was unclear which one

was gonna be, and I have about, let me do a quick check, 475 HD videos. Yeah, they're all patch atoms too. But where can I get Squarespace? Well, head to squarespace.com slash mybrother for free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code mybrother all one word to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain, that's squarespace.com slash mybrother and enter the code mybrother all one word. And if you use the promo code mybrother on bygryphonshat.biz, the Squarespace website, you will get as a free sort of promotional item with the hat 475 HD copies of patch atoms. That is correct. I want to tell you about Squarespace.com too, because they are, they have been sort of really very vital to me in this project of shipping

475 HD DVDs of patch atoms, because what they do is they make it much easier to ship all the stuff that you want to ship. Because these days, listen, you can get pretty much anything on demand, like our podcast, you listen whenever you want when it's convenient for you. So why take trips to the post office to mail letters and packages when you can do all that stuff with postage on demand at stamps.com. They let you access all the amazing services of the post office right from your desk 24 seven buy and print official US postage for any letter any package using your own computer and printer it's easy come on. So stamps.com is very very a very very good service. I always get sort of anxious whenever I have to leave the house for any reason. And so not you know, losing one reason

to leave the house with stamps.com is very valuable for me. And you can sort of share in in my her her her medic. Is that the word her medic? Yeah, her medic nature. If you use my brother for this special offer, it includes $55 free postage, a digital scale and a four week trial. I should say that's a code, my brother. And don't use Travis. Yeah, yeah. But also don't wait, go to stamps.com. And before you do anything else, you click on the radio microphone at the top of the homepage and you type in my brother all one word that stamps.com into my brother. Griffin, I've just had a terrible realization because from time to time we'll make a goof about like some obscure movie title or weird format of something. And then people will like

bring it to us at live shows or like ship it to us. And I'm just picturing someone right now listening to this episode, looking to their right, seeing that HD DVD copy of patch Adams, Oh, Oh, finally, I can be freed from this curse and hand this off. Please do not. I've already got 475 of them. What was the movie that somebody sent us a full box of VHS copies? I believe it was You Mean Dupree. I don't think that was right. You don't think that's it? Was it Nutty Professor on VHS? I think it may have been Nutty Professor Jesus, that was a long time ago. But it's exactly the kind of thing that you're talking about Travis and we should be more responsible. I just I already have so many HD DVD copies. Please don't send us a patch. Do you want to read this first

jumbo, Tron? I do. It's for Andy and it's from Sadie. And Sadie says to my good, good husband, Andy, I hope this fills your heart with love and joy as we celebrate first one year of marriage. Our April 1st wedding was in fact no joke. Oh, that's good. But I know the rest of our lives will be filled with fun and adventures. Walter and Doug say they think they should vote. I assume those are dogs. Also, I'm a clam, you idiot. Thunder up, always and forever. Love Sadie. Now that was supposed to be for April 1st. April Fools, Andy. Your wedding message is three months, four months, whatever. He got you, sucker. Got you. What a good prank. Here's a message for Greg and it's from Jeff Goldblum, big fan of the show, big supporter of art. Jeff Goldblum says to Greg

simply, soon. So, Greg, look out. Jeff Goldblum has lots of ways and means, lots of crafty sort of devious machinations. And the time's coming. The time's coming. He knows all your passwords and stuff. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that this is the last time I get to talk to Greg, but it's been great. Head on, swivel, Greg, stiff up a lip. Sorry about your Goldblumening. Yes, it's happening. How about this final Jumbotron? Yes, I would love to. It's for Dan W. It's from Suzanne. Congratulations to Dan from Suzanne and her clones on getting your, whoa. Whoa, okay. From Suzanne and her clones on getting your first. Did they all pay us for, I guess, for this message? Because I didn't know that that was sort of a benefit to clone

technology. I thought it was just like more sheep. Okay. I'm getting your first real job at 36. Wow, that was a good streak, Dan. Hope you enjoy shooting lasers at brain tumors for many years to come. Yeah, fuck them up. Yeah, we're very proud. I hope you enjoy Star Foxing tumors for many years to come. We're very proud that you are so close to making all of second grade Dan's dreams come true. Love Suzanne, Helen, Jane, and a daughter to be named later, or possibly already, if after March. Yep. Yep, probably a little bit after March. Is this the only job where you get to use, you know, killing lasers against, you know, bad stuff like brain tumors, but I can't think of too many other jobs where you get the, you know, laser technology. I don't know. I'm trying

to think, I guess, I mean, there's like men in black, of course. Yeah, but there's hard to get a men in black job. Oh, tell me about it. Yeah, in this economy. So yeah, that's going to be it. We're going to hop back into the show. In case we don't say in the show, thank you, John Roderick in the Long Winters for the use of the theme song. It's the departure of the album, Putting the Days to Bed. Go to adventuresowncomic.theadventuresowncomic.com or just look at your local bookstores Um, what else? Thanks. Thanks to Maximum Fun. I'm pretty sure we cover all this in the live show, but just thank you all for supporting our stuff that we do. It really means a lot. I always get very sentimental after a tour like we just got back from that we get to live these very, very

weird, cool lives. And that's 100% because you all have supported us for, you know, like nine year going on nine years now. So we really appreciate y'all and we'll be back next week with a regular episode. You know, great fun. Real quick, you mentioned Max Fun. I just want to say I could spend a lot of time with the cast of Bubble this week at San Diego Comic-Con and I'm all caught up on it and it is so, it's so very good. You should check it out on Maximum Fun.org Bubble. It's great. But that's it. Here's the rest of the episode and we'll be back next week. Bye. Are stacks of unread books taking over your apartment? Do you constantly miss your train stop because you're caught up in reading? I'm Brea Grant. And I'm Mallory O'Mara. We party hard.

And by party hard, we mean read books. So join us every Thursday on Reading Glasses, a Maximum Fun podcast about reading and book culture. Get more out of your reading life. We'll help you conquer your to be read pile. Get out of that book slump. And squeeze more reading time into your busy day. Learn how to read better. Wow, that was good. We're going to do audience questions now. Some ground rules. We, no bummers. You guys lay it out for me. I just got to check my socks. Justin's going to the bathroom. Justin's using the restroom. Okay. There's one right off stage. It's so convenient. Hello. My name's EJ. What's up EJ? She or hers. My question is I work for a mattress company.

We've gotten in trouble in the past. Don't say what you want. We've had two different times over so many emails the day after our live show. Can you delete it? No, not that. We just don't want you to get fired if you're like, anyway, they all stink. All the mattresses are full of farts. Not at all. This is a question about my customers. All my customers are full of farts. I'm sure that's not EJ. One second. I have to say, this is a beautiful sort of symphonic space. And we went down, the green room is on a level called Musicians. And when I went and sat down on the couch, Griffin said, Hey, Justin, how many cellist farts do you think? My brother's funny. All right. Sorry, EJ. What we got?

Um, so a lot of folks will ask me kind of casually. I think most of them are probably joking. Most of my customers are pretty chill, but like, they'll ask me like, what beds are the best to kind of like bone down on? Strangers ask you this. And I like, I don't want to get fired. Yeah. But like, it's a super inappropriate question. But I want to find like, what's a good way to answer that question. Okay. For a second there, I thought you were going to say, and I'd let them know, like there is an answer. Okay. EJ, here's what I would do if I was you. Say, well, that all depends. Can you please stand on this bed and show me how you do it? And then you turn on the camera and leave the room.

Everybody headed Tom Brady has come to have sex with that mattress. Travis, you got to drop the Tom Brady. Tom Brady is going to have sex with that mattress. So here's what you do. The next time someone asks you that question, you say, Hey, what do you mean? And you just keep asking them to explain over and over again till they leave. So good. No, I'm sorry. I must be missing something bone down. What? Start from the beginning. Okay. Here's your answer. Ew on a bed. Where are you sleep? I think, I think, I think there is a correct answer. And I think to punish these fucking despicable people who would come in and ask a stranger this,

you point them to the worst possible answer. Oh, you want the sex bed? It's the the nasty rusty spring Tron 2000. Why do we sell that one? They take that for a sex. They put that one on the box spring and they're like, All right, let's get busy. Spring shoots out stab, stab, stab. Oh, no. And you say, I guess you aren't doing it right. No, you got to know how to handle it. If you weren't ready for my risk, I reward with the spring. You asked for the best. This is the best. Does that help? It helps a lot. Thank you so much. Hey, what's up? Hi, I'm Tom. They them. Hi, Tom. Thanks, Paul. Jesus. Do not touch me with that rag after it's tested to other boys. So I'm dating two people, not in like a cheating way. Oh, okay. We're in

like, we were pretty like, what would have been funnier, though, if we've been like, what? Or it would have been funnier if two people in this audience has stood up and it's been like, what? Okay. No, my girlfriend is here. Okay. Hello. Yeah. So we're in like a polyamorous triad. Okay. Yeah. So drawing on our expertise. So my triad sounds so much fucking cooler than couple by the way. That's the word for it. That's fucking dope. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Go ahead. So this is a healthy, happy relationship. I've been with my girlfriend for two years. She, I and our boyfriend are going on two years as well. Okay. My family's cool with me being gay and all that, but how do I explain to people that I am

dating two people and it's not like cheating? And also how do I explain it's not a sex thing? Yeah. I mentioned the same people. I mentioned the same people who would ask you about that are the same people who would walk into a fucking mattress store and ask for a fucking sex mattress. We need to start installing traps in the ground every 20 fucking feet. And anytime anybody says some bullshit, you're just like, Hey, can you follow me over here for a second? If you're, if you're cool, you get an app on your phone and you press the button and one of the every 20 foot traps falls. And if you hear somebody say, say, which one's the sex mattresser? First sex? Bam. And there's not spikes in the pippet. It's hard to get out.

And eventually they'll learn. There's not spikes a bit. It's just like everyone that they respect at the bottom going, what did you say? What got you here? Man, shit's bad right now. Can I ask you a serious question? When you, if you encounter a person that is like unfamiliar or like unexposed to people who are living a polyamorous lifestyle, are you the sort of person who like minds sort of taking the time to educate the people? Are you like fucking over it? Um, I don't mind really. Like, um, I remember I started telling people when I was in like high school and honestly a lot of people there were just like, you're dating two people. That's sick. That's like the other response you don't want. It's actually flattering

because like the idea that like their minds are blown is like, whoa, you two of them? You can have two of them? I get the same thing when I tell people I just ordered two dinners at a restaurant. He always does. Every day this tour. And by the way, it's not equating these. No, it's not the same. I just get the same response. You got two? I did. Except usually it's a lot more concerned when they say it to me. You got two? You got two? Oh no. What's the split? What, if you do not mind me asking, what's the split like these days when you tell somebody like 50, 50, like what? To like people who are like, oh, I get it. Well, I think it depends on who I'm talking to. Absolutely. Yes. Because when it's people my own age, a lot of times they'll either

get it or if they don't know, they'll just be like, oh, that's a thing. But compared to like, if I started to tell my 50 year old Republican Christian mother. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Then it doesn't. You didn't finish the sentence, but it doesn't go good. I bet. But it's like, it really does depend on who I'm talking to. And so when I get the vibe from someone that like maybe their views don't match with mine, I'll try to avoid it. I'll tell you the kind of the same thing about the mattress question of like, if here's some other things Travis is going to compare your blood. No, no, no. Two dinners. Tom Brady having sex with a mattress. Oh yeah. And I forgot to say my boyfriend is a body pillow. Okay. Well, I mean,

specifically if someone makes like weird sex joke comments about it, that the impetus is then not on you to make that. Okay. Yes. That's that. So like, if somebody says something, I think you're in position to go, what do you mean by that? They're putting you in a position where you have to explain yourself. No, no, no, you don't have to do that. Make them explain themselves. I have a position you could put them in. I have a better position you could put them in. And it is 10 feet immediately below where they were just standing. I'm just saying, it doesn't have to be in every city. We can get these in San Francisco, Houston. You would only have to establish 100 child doors across America, but no one knows

where they are. And then the threat is there. The threat is there. All right. Tom, you understand how deep again, the like, I've never had a challenge like this in my life. So we're kind of out of our lane right now. But I would say this, the fact that you're willing to take the time to explain your lifestyle, which is such a personal thing is deeply unfair that you have to do that. But super cool of you because what I would keep in mind when you're doing that is that you're making it literally 100% easier for the next person behind you and over and over and over again. And it's a shame, but I think it's so proud that you're doing it because you're making life better for everybody else. So thank you from me, a straight line dude that has to explain nothing other than

his like t-shirt choices. So, but thank you Tom for your work. Should I just like, if they ask if it's a sex thing, should I just be like, what is sex? Yes, exactly. I think that's going to get us out of a lot of situations. A lot of jams. Explain to me, what is a sex? What is in detail? I, birds, bees, what are those have to... Are these two things having sex with each other? Take it back to the beginning. What kind of horrible crossroads are we getting from birds and bees? Why are the birds... No wonder the bees are disappearing. They're getting crushed by the bird or a bee. Anyway, Tom, does that help? Did I switch those? I did, didn't I? Birds aren't disappearing, bees are. But have we checked on birds? Everybody bird count. Tom, does that help? Yes, it does. Thank you.

Imagine my surprise. Thank you. All right, we're going to do one more. I'm Lindsay. Hi Lindsay. My question revolves around my dog. So my husband and I rescued a dog when we moved down to Houston. Like a burning building or like a... I mean, we moved and then pretty immediately adopted her. So I say it was pretty important part of the... Yeah, for sure. All right, what did you say? Maybe your dog rescued you? I like that Travis. From a burning building. Yeah, I think that's fair to say. But I have a thing where I really, really like to buy toys for her because she very much appreciates them because she had a hard life before. The problem is she has probably over 100 toys by now. Is that bad?

So I guess my question is what is a socially acceptable amount of toys for me to purchase from my dog? I have a very important follow-up question that I think will determine the long answer, the short answer. And it's very important. She's a good girl. Of course she is. Yes, she is. All right. She is the best. All right, we'll come back to that. Hey. Hi. Hello. I want to make this very clear up front because it's important to the story. My actual name is Joe. Okay. Now, I started working at a new job here in Houston about six months ago. And before I started working there and moved here, I got an email from my boss saying, hey, just want to let you know there's been two other Joes before you and it's been kind of iffy with them when they

left. So we're going to call you Max from now on. At first, this was okay until they got to the new city, new me, man. I had to start. This is how someone enters a few states. This is how Tyler Durden spawns. It gets a little better. So I started working. It stopped. Bye. Anyways, I just wanted to brag about this cooling in heaven. I started working and like the paperwork started getting drawn up for like payroll and like healthcare and all that stuff. And I was walking with my boss and one of the people from HR and they were like, yeah, this is Max blah, blah, blah. And they're like, oh, Max, we're going to start doing all your paperwork and your social security stuff. And I was like, no, that won't match up

with the number that's on the card. But then it did. What's going on? What? It's even gone to the point where the CEO didn't even know my real name at the Christmas party. Well, why would they? Why would they? He knew me by Max. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, hey, folks, somebody tries to call you by name that you don't want to be called. Tell them no. Actually, in fact, I will be Joe. I will be Joe today and all other days for I am Joe. If they're like, hey, we had some bad experiences with Joe, you say, I can fix that. This is a new Joe. Another thing you could say. There's a new Joe in town. Another thing you could say is if they say we don't want to call you Joe because we've had bad Joe's before, you could say a very reasonable thing, which is what the fuck are you talking

about? Wait, they told me. No, no, no. It's nothing. Yo, Joe Max, you're in way too deep. You're buying terrible shit now. This is fucking nothing. This, by the way, is a con this business is running on you where they have had a fake account set up in the name of Max, whatever. You're taking the fall. Yeah, dude. No question. They're cooking the books under your name and they're like, we're gonna call you Max from now on so they can pin it on you. You've got a Shawshank your way out of there. Take those books with you. When you walk in tomorrow, there's going to be a big sign up front that says Max's place. All legal inquiries, please, to Max. It's his place. Does that help? We didn't say anything. So I don't know how.

But you know what, Max, you having the straight Joe, Joe, Joe. You made it worse. Now like this. Joe, there's no excuse for what I've just done. It's very hot up here. And as you can see, I'm sorry, Joe. And isn't that what we're here for? You didn't say anything. Joe, does that help? Yes. Go in tomorrow and do it because you know it's over. It's over. It's been six months I just moved here from Virginia. I've got it. Next time someone calls you Max, say, oh, it's actually pronounced Joe. The MAX is silent. Joe's invisible. Joe, does that help Joe set us free?

Just say yes. Go back and take your name back, Joe. You're Joe. Take it back. A hundred toys for one extremely good dog sounds like the perfect number to me. Right. Are they small toys, big toys? We're talking about little Tonka trucks. No, mostly stuffed animals like Tigger or Stitch. How do you get 100 continuously functioning toys in your house that don't get destroyed? Oh, she is a good girl. What does she do with them? She nibbles on them. She what? She nibbles on them. You got any picks? Yeah, I made my phones over there. Just tweet them at us later. It's fine. Do you have room for one more toy? Say that again. Do you have room for one more toy?

I don't have my wallet. I thought you were going to volunteer. No, it just sounds like a good dog. I want to do something nice. What you could do is take some of the older toys and give them to dogs that need them because the thing about that is what you like and I get it because I have a three-year-old. It's the same thing. No question. I get a new toy and she's so excited to see it and she's down for like 15 minutes and it's like on the next thing. Then you just take that to Goodwill, give that toy to them, and then you can get more toys and not feel guilty about it because you have plenty of space. It's a great idea. Whoa! We got one at the buzzer. Swish. So you're saying that helps?

All right. So first, thank you, Jones Hall. Yes, you are amazing. Thank you, Houston. Thank you, Bayou City. Thank you, Clutch City. Thank you, Space City. Thank you, Magnolia City, which is not used as much anymore, but it's a historical one. Look into it. Can we get a big thank you for Paul Saborin? Thank you, Paul. How about a big thank you, Paul? Well, hold on. Paul Saborin has a band called Paul and Storm, which you should look up. Paulandstorm.livejournal.com. You can hear all of their tracks. Thank you to Schmaners for their opening act performance. That running gag. If you Google Paul and Storm, you will find their music. Here's what you got to understand. A running gag between live shows on

a tour doesn't work. It's different people. I just thought they would laugh because it's so irreverent. Thank you to... I'm assuming Paulandstore.com. Paul, is that right? Yup. Yup. Thank you to Schmaners. Yes. Thank you to our... Thank you to our daddy. Thank you, daddy. Thank you to John Roderick and the Long Winters for the use of our theme song as a departure off the album, putting the days to bed. Very good. Thanks to Max Fun for having us, and thank you for donating to the Max Fun Drive. Thank you. This show's wrapped up. Anything else before we wrap up this Texas-sized tour, which is to say three shows, two cities, five shows, Texas style. Four different naps just for me. We thank you all for coming, but I do want to say

I'm assuming there's at least a few people who decided to come just because we won so much about people not coming to this show. Because you thought it would mean something to us, and I just wanted to say you were right. Thank you. Thank you so much for doing that. It's very sweet of you. We love you very much. And to those... And to the folks who bought tickets on the, like, minute that they became available. You're all very important to us. You're all important to us and God's eyes. What? What? Here's a final yahoo. It was sent in by Bill Morrison. Thank you, Bill. It's from Yahoo Answers User. JonesNate asks. What? That got you. JonesNate? JonesNate asks. It's their name. What was the name of the book

about the giant hero dog? Not Clifford! My name is Justin McRoy. I drive a Zachary. I drive a McRoy. This has been my brother, my brother, and me. Kiss your dad's square on the lips. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. And rolling. The news today is terrible. So why not forget about it while listening to Jonah Radio with Cash Hartzell. Hey, everybody. Featuring Neil Mahoney. Also me. This is a podcast where we play music submitted by a listener. We hang out, we listen to new tunes, and we take submissions at JonahRadio, r-a-y-d-i-o, at gmail.com. Come and check us out. We're here anyway. Yeah, we'll be here. So, and that's it. Back to your regularly scheduled podcast.