My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 440: The Naming of 2019

Episode Date: December 31, 2018

This episode is pretty dang near mandatory for anyone who wants to live 2019 in the correct manner. Join us as we decide the most powerful, most liberating, most attainable goal-slogan imaginable — a process that, yes, does take us half the episode. Suggested talking points: Deliberation of the Annual Theme for One-Half an Hour, Yeastblasting, Parkour for Cash, Round Etiquette, Bean Halen

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everyone and welcome to what is sure to be maybe the last episode of 2018 or the first episode of 2019. Time shall tell. It's always hard to tell when editing will occur. Yeah, but welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me, and Advice Show for this, the most modern era we've yet encountered. My name is Justin McElroy.

I'm your oldest brother. I was going to say I was the oldest brother because you'd missed it. I'm your middleest brother, Travis McElroy. What a fucking sloppy intro. What is sloppy, nasty? I know the holidays got us tired. Organic. It's not organic. It's sloppy and rotten. We made it ourselves with our own two hands. And I'm Griffin McElroy. The baby knew you.

This is great. Oh, there's my dogs. Oh my god, it's the worst intro we've ever done. Justin, quick, drop some spaghetti on the microphone or something. Drop some spaghetti in your keyboard and spend the next 15 minutes cleaning it up. I'm going to talk about the coffee I'm drinking in long, winded, and uninteresting terms. So, Justin, get to work on the spaghetti. Travis, get your dog stuff going. I'll take it from here. I'm keeping those dogs quiet now, giving treats to the girls.

This is going to be a weird one, because it always is around this year in times. It's either a celebration of like, it's like a wake, the year is dying, or it's like a birthday party for the new year. It's one of you eating pretzel flips. What is happening? That's the treats for my good puppies. All right, this is going to be a wild one. This is like almost an editing challenge. We should send this one out to like all the editors of all the top podcasts and see who can make the most listenable thing. Fix this one, Gimlet.

Yeah, come on, Gimlet. So, what's it all about? 2019, a lot of people are asking about, and I think it's time that we fucking solve it. Do we want to solve that up top? Is that probably the best? I think it's going to take us a half hour. Traditionally, it takes us about a half hour. I have about 10 ideas. So, there's some housekeeping to get out of the way before we get into the discussion proper. First, I would just like to start by reviewing our themes throughout the years, a quick tour through history, and how well we've accomplished them. Yeah, that's the part I'm worried about. I'm not going to remember that for

all these, but okay. So, 2010, ZOLO. Not much of a theme. We were in our infancy there. At the same time, maybe our best theme. A very good theme, we can all agree, but it was ZOLO in 2010, because it looked like the word ZOLO. Yeah, sure. And then, someone stole that and made a wedding registry website out of it. Yeah, it's no good. 2000 in Heaven. That was 2011.

Let's get right with Christ. Yeah, right with Christ. That was our evangelical year. Then, we had Gittin' It in 20 Does. Oh, yeah, 20 Does. That is so broad, and its broadness can be deeply problematic, I feel like. Yeah, I mean, yeah. A lot of our early stuff was very problematic. Sure, sure, sure. This one was, I liked this one, 20 Dirt Team. Dig it up and get it out.

Yeah, that was one of the... That was actually like a lot. That was kind of when we introduced subtitles, because we started needing them. So, 20 Dirt Team, dig it up and get it out. After that, we had 20 Forward from episode 181, Boy Car. 20 Forward. Can I ask you guys a question? Yeah.

Do you remember 2014? I don't remember 2014 at all. I don't remember the whole year 2014. When people mention it, I feel like I just skipped that one. No. I don't remember 2014 at all. I blend every year before 2016 in a large miasma in a pot called Good. And then it was just kind of other.

It's like good and other. It is when my daughter was born. So, my first child was born in 2014. So, I do remember that. I remember 2015. 2015 was 20 Griff Team. 20 Griff Team, the con is on. Yeah, and that's when I did steal Declaration of Independence.

Yeah. 2016 Building Bridges. Probably the first one to say just didn't build much bridge. No. So, probably our biggest win. Well, the problem was is that year I took it too literally. And I did build that one bridge out of wood and stone. Yeah.

Yeah. It was more like a bridge to Terabithia where we all kind of fell right off it. And did die in the creek. Boy, it was some foresight. Is that what that looks about? Yeah. It would have been good if we had had a little foresight and been like 2016. Whoops.

Oh, here it goes. Hold on. Here's 20 Serpentine, keep them guessing. That was a powerful theme, I thought. Yes. And I feel like a lot of people did zag on them. We zagged on television by kicking off our show. And then television zagged on us.

Us. Yeah, zagged there, zagged there, zagged nuts right on our fucking foreheads. Sure, yeah. And then we had Collaborate Teen, Stronger Together, a powerful year. Now, how do you think you've done as far as collaborating goes? Some good collaboration. I mean, for us personally, we did, we released our graphic novel. We collaborated with our daddy.

Yeah. Collaborate. Well, we collaborated with Carrie Peach and the five folks that are our publisher. We collaborated on the Mysterious Package Company thing. That was a collaboration. Yeah, that was cool. We fulfilled that. Yeah, we did it.

We did some collaborating, collaborated on some shirts and merch and posters. We did lots of collaborations. Hey, I made the new track with Shaggy. Yes, it was in fact me. Yeah, after years of growth and reflection, I can admit it was me. Now, Travis, you had an idea that maybe we should get out of the way first about how bad it was, and then we'll get on with the show. Well, now that you've had some time to marinate on it.

20 equine teen this year, we buy a horse. It's buying that I don't like, Trav. It's if I could just ride steel. I mean, if you go out into the will, I live in Texas, baby. The lone star state deep in the heart of it. And I feel like there's probably some fucking horses here out in a field that nobody owns, except God, even though you can't really technically own a horse. I could possess one that is wild and we could become best friends.

I'm happy to change it to this year. We acquire through some sort of means a horse. It's got to be. It's way too long. It's so long. It's so long. So we've ruled that one out pretty definitively. The other problem is horse jokes are oh, so over, so, so over, so over.

Yeah. Next year, all the jokes are about vegetables and how yucky they are. That's a preview for 2019 is how gross vegetables are. So enjoy those. I would. I also, I think I previously mentioned 20 vaccine, which I still enjoy very much. I could go for any year. Yeah.

It could go for any year. So I think that we could rule that one out. So maybe that's just like a rolling one forever. Well, except for next the year after 2020. It can't be done anymore. But yes, I'm going to start throwing some of mine out because I got. Hold on. I got a Google document.

I got to open a Google document. Okay. Share it because we're business professionals now. Yes. I actually, I have an amazing one that was pitched to me by Teresa. But I actually, I've learned from my mistakes. I'm going to wait. Yeah.

You have to make yours go last. We never pick the first one. No, no, we never do. No, we got to burn through some chaff to get to my wheat. Let me just put, as long as that's how we're thinking about this, let me put out this early contender. This is not going to make it, but 2019, a six second celebration. And this is sort of just getting psyched about it coming back as V2.

Nice. See now it's, that's officially not happening. No, there is going to be a vine successor. They are making a vine successor next year. They came out and said like, okay, yes, we are going to do it. And then they came out after that and said, no, we're not. They didn't cancel it a second time. Okay.

So who are you talking? Who do you think you're talking to? Do you really think you know more about vine than me? Griffin has Google alerts set up. Yeah. There will be no vine too. It's called Byte. Byte.

YTE. And that doesn't work. That doesn't rhyme. Yeah, it's done. Get out of here, 2019. Okay. This is not going to be funny, but it is going to be necessary. What about 2019?

What's Ace of Base up to? Yeah. See, I had 2019 revisiting a Shyamalan classic. Oh, and it could be about like, you know, the sort of message of signs, which is. Water bad. Well, God makes things happen that help you fight the aliens. God hates aliens. God hates aliens because he didn't make them.

So he makes things happen that helps you fight them, which is good. I like how, can we spoil signs for a second? I like how God had to kill Mel Gibson's wife so she could instruct Joaquin Phoenix to hit the glass with the bat. He would have, he would sit there holding the bat thinking, well, what now? Okay. Here's mine. My current, my favorite currently.

Okay. 20 brine teen, the sea is calling. This is good. I tell you, I like that one. I'm very afraid of the ocean and everything in it and above it and on top of it and the big waves that it makes. But I do, I do kind of like that though, Griffin, because the sea is calling. Could both be like, you know, come to me, join me here.

But it could also be like in scream when the killer is calling. Like the sea is calling from inside your house. That's fun. We've never done one that's like an explicit threat from like a body of water. Yeah. That could be good, Justin. Now here is, here is alternate subtitle that really changes it. 20 brine teen, make me to treat.

There's a lot of different preparations of meat that would be improved if you brine them first. You're going to lock in a lot of moisture and a lot of flavor. If you're not brining your turkey or chicken, even beef, I think that you're really missing out on some big bowl flavors. And this is really going to go great with my making fun of vegetables sort of ideas. Can I, can I pitch a subtitle for 20 brine teen? Yeah. 20 brine teen, are you going to eat your pickle?

Are you? Hey, you're going to eat that pickle? Yeah. Yeah. Listen, it's a specific year. We've shot big before and failed. We tried with, with building bridges. We didn't do it.

This time this is all about like, you know what? Attainable goals. You're looking at the pickle. I'm not going to eat it. I wish you would just ask. Sure. Eight straight years of not fulfilling the goals we set before you must be sort of soul crushing.

Let's give you, let's give you a slow, a slow ball. An attainable one. An attainable one. I got one here, 20 spine teen. Check your posture. That could be good. Like I, I sit, right now I'm sitting in a chair. I've got both legs sort of up in the seat.

One is sort of folded upwards and my elbow is resting against it. I look like a, you know, I'm about to be a cool book reader in front of a fireplace or something like that. But my posture is absolute dookie right now. I always sit like that, crisscross applesauce when I'm in my office chair. And I can't imagine that's good for me. Oh man, I'm doing that too. Yeah.

Yeah. It's almost like I'm playing the floor is lava every time I sit down to record or edit. So that's not great, but it is good. I have one here. Wait, let's not, wait, hold on before we move on. Posture is important. Yeah.

You guys have a real lot walking around. I had the thing I was walking around and I was at Charlie's school a few weeks back and I was like, my posture is terrible. And I stood up straight and walked around and when I did that, I instantly felt like some sort of elegant king. And I was like, and I was like, I'm going to do this all the time from here on out. And then I did it. But maybe if the, maybe if I had like an extensive line of merchandise to reinforce it,

then I might, you know, it might be a little easier for me. So what I've got here written down in my notebook that I have labeled very good ideas. I have a Kevin Klein teen. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Dave was a fucking banger, dude. Yeah, dude, Dave, Dave fucking bangs, bro. And there's no.

I have a second one here. The comma Chris Klein teen. Okay. Well, I like the first one better because in and out, dude, fucking bang. In and out was good. Wild West does bang. Hey guys, fish called Wanda more like a fish called good movie. Yeah, yeah.

I'm not writing that one down. No, you're not going to write down Kevin Klein teen. How about this 20 wine teen better with age? And this doesn't have to be about wine. It can just be like, you are the, you are the wine and don't worry about getting older. But see, you know, there's a problem. There's some shitty older people out there. Yeah, they didn't get any better.

Unless they started out very bad. Now, what if we meant it like wine, W-H-I-N-E. And I was like 20 wine teen complain about it. Yeah, that's good. My food's cold. I have a quartet here of suggestions that don't have 20 in them, which I don't even know if we can say, you know what? Collaborate teen didn't have 20 in it.

So that's probably okay. I got dollar sign teen, get the money. Okay. I got Frankenstein teen, but friend of monster. I don't actually like the message of that one. Yeah. Okay. But it could be Frankenstein teen, use what you got, use what you got.

I want to hit you guys with one. Okay. 20 wine teen, there's golden them hills. Wow. Now, what is the sub, is it a literal golden hills? No, I think referencing. If I understand that correctly, all the gold's gone. We got it all.

But the metaphorical gold in your own personal hills, I think, yet remains. Interesting. So I've got hills and gold in them. Yes, exactly. There's gold, whatever the hills are in your life. Are you talking about my lovely lumps? There's gold in them hills. There's gold in my lovely lumps?

Okay. I will say Griffin. If history has proven anything, yes, there is golden in them their lumps. Okay. Wow. That could be good. I have one here.

This is the one that Teresa pitched to me. Yes. That I love, and I've been very excited to share with you. Okay. Refined teen, the champagne of years. Refined teen. So let's get fancy Nancy on it, is what you're saying. Yeah.

Refined teen. Oh, it's that D in there, isn't it? It's that naughty, it's that nasty. Well, we can go with the refined teen. Get fancy, get fancy. The champagne of years. The champagne of years is extremely powerful. Yeah.

What I like about it is that it gives us the highest probability of failure we've ever had. It could just be like 20 fine teen, the champagne of years, but I don't know if that gets it as across as refined teen, the champagne of years. Now, this year would be all about like, are you worth it? Yeah, you're worth it. It's the champagne of years, like, yeah. Oh, you should have a mimosa today, or like, yeah, go buy yourself those shoes you've been looking at.

You know, it's kind of a, you're worth it is the whole deal of this year. And you make this year, like, nice for you. And maybe it's like sleeping in, you know? We are an oscillating fan for these fucking suggestions, these yearly mottos. Going between, get out there, make it better, do it, do it together. And just fucking, it's all about you, baby. Yeah. It's all about you this year, baby.

And maybe that's a natural process. You've got to treat yourself and then go out and treat others, because how can you know real love before you know love yourself? I should know. Damn, that's good, Trav. Is this, is this anything? Is it anything, if I were to say, 20 fine teen? Fine.

Okay. Fine. So wait, like, 20 fine teen. I get it. Fine. Okay. Fine. Yeah.

And that's like a sort of acceptance? Or is it like a sort of? It's acceptance. It's very powerful acceptance. But it sounds like a grudges. Yeah, we shouldn't necessarily be espousing that, I feel like. It's not, it's not fine for the most part. So that's the worst one yet.

I got, actually, on the other end of the spectrum, under my teen, destroy it from within. And in this one, you're sort of a Splinter Cell agent inside the, you know, the machine of, you know, your office, the government, business, just anything like that. Anything you can destroy from within, really. Yeah, sure. Even if it's just like a group chat.

Yeah, and take that shit apart plank by plank, nail by nail. 20 fine teen, man, that smells good. Write your own dumb themes in this document that Griffin isn't even in. Please. Okay. Please. I can't keep up with all these dumb ass ideas. Okay, I actually have a winner here,

but I was going to save it for last so it could win. Before I get to it, realign teen, new priorities, new you. But the winner here is clearly 20 shine teen, unbushel your candle. 20 shine teen, unbushel your candle. Hiding your light under a bushel. Uh-huh. And yeah, you know what? I want to put a star next to it.

I really like it. Shine teen, 20 shine teen. I think shine teen is good. Unbushel your candle is good. Refine teen the champagne of years is definitely up there for me. And I'm going to just go ahead and save Frankenstein teen. See, I feel like we're not circling back to that one. I want to chunk out a few more good.

I really like to see his calling though. I'm going to, I'm going to mark that one just for myself. Here's one that I wanted to hit you guys with. 20 bloodline teen, there's power in your ancestry. Well, I think we could just do bloodline teen. I don't think you need the 20 in there. Just bloodline teen. Bloodline teen, there's power in your ancestry.

So you go back and you're like, there's power in there. You know what I mean? Like you're looking at your family tree. There's some power in there that you've yet to unearth. Yeah. Now once again, I have to ask Justin, metaphorical power or literal power? Well, no, Travis, you're not going to find like a fucking

like cross to kill vampires with. You don't know secret secret power. It's just like a power. So what you're saying is just like looking at an old piece of paper with a bunch of names on it gives you power. I'm all yeah. I looked at dad's 23 and me. He did.

There is no power. We have no, there's no power in there is not a good, not a good one. Um, what other words rhyme with nine, huh? Twenty twenty, we all get really good at indie game development. That could be great. I think we're done. I think we're done. I think we need to pick from the list.

I think let's go through this and let's just get rid of the ones that it's not going to be. I'll go ahead online teen. The web is waiting. Oh, wait, wait, fuck it. Fuck it. Flip it offline teen on plug renew. Well, our business is the internet, Griffin.

I don't know. Yeah, I don't encourage our offline team, offline team, except for my brother, my brother and me and the adventures of all of our podcasts, all of our podcasts. Um, uh, my friend and yours, Lin-Manuel Miranda has come in with a late suggestion of 20 now. Gene moisturize it. It's very powerful. He said to get sponsorship for that one.

Um, he's, he's a better writer than us. So maybe that is the best one. She, um, 20 love line teen, bring it back with us in it. Yeah. That's a subtitle. I do honestly, let me tell you why I like Brian teen. The sea is calling because we're, we're already going to be going on the cruise.

So like we've kind of built ourselves in a check mark, but it's not. These aren't for us, Trav. Okay. Not for us. They are for us. They're for everyone. For everyone and us mainly. We need to make the sea is calling a bit broader.

We need to broaden our definitions because there's people living in South Dakota who listen to this podcast to the sea is so far away. The, the, the, you can't hear the whispers of this. It's a metaphorical, it's a metaphorical sea. 20 Brian teen, build a boat in your tub. 20 Brian teen, build an arc. We can have it. It could have it.

Two of you channel. Well, Justin, when you say the sea is metaphorical. Yes. Why are all of yours metaphorical? All the things, because they're powerful, more powerful. Metaphor is more powerful that way. But because it's the sea is whatever it has kept you from achieving your goals, whatever you're afraid of, whatever you don't want to delve into, it's calling you.

The sea is calling. Adventure new opportunities. I don't know what was in the sea. That's the no Siri. Oh man, I don't know what to make of that. 20 Brian teen, Siri is calling. It's just, you don't know what's out there in the sea. You got to get out there to find out.

I don't know what, I don't know what the sea wants with you. I just know that it's calling. Sure, sure. I will, I will go with this if this is what you want to go with. But at first I want us to do a little exercise. Okay. Are you boys ready for this? Yes.

Okay. We're going to role play something, the three of us, and we're really going to do it. We're going to start, start a new episode and this will be episode. Wow, like 492, 93, 490 maybe and it's a year from now and we're trying to pick the 2020 theme and we're going back and sort of talking about the previous themes. So let's just jump to that, to that part, episode 490 where we are talking about 20 Brian teen, the sea is calling. A year later, just sort of figuring out if it was good or bad and if we did it.

Okay. Hey everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother and me, brought to you by Burger King. It's your one stop shop for the latest and greatest in burgers. I'm going to throw it over to my co-host, Jimmy Fallon is here with me. Hey guys, meet Jimmy Fallon, oh, it's 20 Brian teen. Well, to wrap it up, 20 Brian teen is almost done here. I will see his calling. Did we do it?

Jokatron is here. Jokatron needs more blood to operate and create trouble. Not again. Now Jimmy Fallon's got to murder someone else. Anyway, I've been Howard Stern. That's all the episode we've got for you today. I got time for talk about the year those brothers came up with. They called it 20 Brian teen, the sea is calling.

They were, of course, tragically killed at sea. So that name has become extremely ironic now. What do you think of name Annihilation Alien? Whoa, because that really came true. Definitely came true. Okay, I'm going to push back to 20 shine teen. Unbushle your candle. I think it is, here's my worry.

I think it is powerful in it, but I think it's, I worry that it may be too generically powerful. I don't know that we can necessarily harness that energy. I'm not sure the energy is specific enough with 20 shine teen. Because there's some people. Hey, I don't know if you guys have been on the internet. There's some people who I would like for them to keep their candle bright where it is. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah. I will say that is a worry that unbushle your candle does have a bit of like, like, on tone to it that I don't care for. Oh, like get your pee pee out. Yeah, try this one. Yeah. All right.

20 shine teen is done. I tell you, I really like Refine Teen. It's just the, it's the meter of it I don't like. It's the, it's the, it's the, you know, it's gotta be four syllables. I feel like 20 fine teen, 20 fine teen. I'm not giving up on Refine Teen. It's just, then you got to make it work phonetically. I'm not saying that I think I'm not sure 20.

I think the C is calling is good. I don't think 20 Brian teen is extremely powerful. It can't be another one. It can't be 20 Kevin Klein teen. The C is calling. No, that's what it is. Exactly. Now, it's Kevin Klein teen.

The C is calling. It's Kevin, Kevin Klein teen. You going to eat that pickle? Kevin, Kevin, Kevin Klein teen, The Champagne of Years. It works with all these. Kevin Klein teen, destroy it from within. Turpentine teen, start it over. We're just looking at Rime Zone.

We're just looking at Rime Zone. We're just looking at Rime Zone. Oh, Rime Zone. Good call, Griffin. Now, we haven't done anything with swine teen. Pearls before swine teen. No one appreciates your art. It seems like a wild thing to just,

that seems more like an observation than a goal. We're getting further from it. We're getting further from it. And further from listenability, too. What would you think about equine teen this year we get a horse? We're starting back over. I like themes of renewal. Yeah.

That's powerful to me. There's just not many good words that rhyme with nine, I feel like. Strict 19. No, come on. We need to get this fucking serious about this. Oh, okay. Oh, what about this? Oh, okay.

Are you ready for this? Yeah. Tagline teen, that's the tagline. The tagline teen, that's the tagline is good. And this would be like us taking a year off. Yeah, kind of giving ourselves a meaning. Ooh, I got it. I got it.

Fallibility. What do you think about this? Fine wine teen, the champagne of years. That does sound kind of like we're saying to have actual champagne, which there are lots of people in my opinion. I think I'm becoming okay with refined teen. I just can't, the meter. I can't do the meter.

What about wine and dine teen, the champagne of years? I don't want wine to be in it, I don't think. Okay, okay. Clandestine teen, keep it quiet. I feel like we do a lot of do-bet, like zigzag on them and do grifts. I feel like maybe we should- Is this anything? Genuine teen, keep it real.

Genuine teen. Ooh. Genuine teen, jump on it, my pony. My saddle's waiting. Come in, jump on it. Built-in theme song, I like that of it. Now, I'm just going to say this that way out to no one tweets it at me. Sparkling wine teen, the champagne of years.

Okay, yeah. What we need to do, stop. We're going at this backwards. We need to figure out what do we want the message to be, and then we'll work backwards for the rest. What do we want people to actually do? Because we, a lot of the time, I want to do a sort of new message. I want it to be attainable.

I don't want it to be, you know, forward, move forward. Like that, that shit is so, like people know to do that shit. This needs to be- Okay, so what do you want to tell them? That's what the three of us have to figure out, Travi. We have told people something about heaven to get it. That's good. Dig it up, get it out.

So they got it, and then they dug it up, and then they moved on in 24-word, right? And then we stepped back with 20-grifteen, the con is on. So that was sort of like, you got it, you dug it up, you moved on, and you took what you learned to fool other people. And then we felt bad about that in 2016, so we decided to build some bridges to get people back together. But then while we were building the bridges,

we got a little too predictable. So we had to zag on them, but then that was a little fishier. So we're kind of got a rhythm, and then starting together, we're working together again. So we conned, we built bridges, we zagged, we worked together. So there's kind of a, so, and even going back to 2013, we dug it up, got dirty, and then 24-word, we moved forward with it. So I feel like we do have sort of a rhythm of-

Yeah, yeah. And we are due for like a more- Uplifting? Might I say that's more- Oh, we're due for a nasty one. We're due for a nasty one, yes. What about, because I just saw this one, and it gave me an idea, 20 divine teen, the magic's in you.

The rhythm, the rhythm. The rhythm is not good. It has to be divine teen. Yeah, it's the same as refined teen. So it's the wrong rhythm. You got to have three syllables or one syllable with a twin in front of it. Okay, what about this? Asa 19, get silly with it.

No, because the cursing in it- Asa 9 isn't cursing. But people will make it about the ass part, Trev. You've been on the fucking internet, man. You know how these people do it. How about power line teen, eye to eye? Oh, just for Travis. A goofy movie one, just for Travis.

Power line teen, like amp it up, or power line teen. That sounds like an energy drink, which I'm kind of into. We are not going to do any questions this episode is starting to feel like, and potentially no ads. Whoops. It's moving in that direction. Should we just take the year off? Should we just not do one this year?

What about Frankenstein teen with a more powerful message such as become unkillable? Or Frankenstein teen fire bad. That's useful. Oh, what about Frankenstein teen become the monster? And that one's less like don't be afraid of the monster. Become the monster. Become the monster. I kind of like that.

I think that's extraordinarily powerful. I said it, but I don't know what it means. And maybe we spend a year unpacking it, but Frankenstein teen become the monster. It's really working for me. That is extremely good Griffin. It doesn't mean to do bad stuff. No, no, no. If you can't beat the monster, become the monster.

That's it. That's it. Let's move. Let's we got. Yeah, that's it. We got it in one and now it's time for a quick trick to the money zone. We got it in 86. I'm so excited for like the visual possibilities of Frankenstein teen.

Frankenstein is not trademarked. Is he? No. Okay. So we got some sponsors. Yes. No. Yeah, just one.

Just one special one. Yeah, let's all get a hand on this ball, though, because it's stitch fix. A lot of people now just comment on any of our Instagram's just like, well, that's that this picture is brought to you by stitch fix because we're almost always just head to toe to about a stern. We sat around at candle nights in the backstage area. Like everyone there, like stitch fix, stitch fix, stitch fix. It's an online personal styling service that finds and delivers clothes, shoes, and accessories

to fit your body, budget, and lifestyle. I've been using it for the better part of this year and I've almost completely changed my wardrobe and I dress much better. I feel a lot better about like the clothes that I wear. If you don't like something they send you, you just send it right back. All the shipping is covered and their styling fee is just 20 bucks, which is applied toward anything you keep from your shipment. When you go to pay for it, you can both rank the fit and the price and how well it matches

your style and leave little comments and they'll listen to that. And it's not just shirts and pants. I also get like jackets in there, socks, shoes. I've gotten some really great shoes out of my stitch fix boxes. They sent me some Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Really? Yeah, I really needed them. But they fit my body.

That's amazing, Griffin. Yeah, it was cool. If you want to get started right now, you can go to stitchfix.com slash mybrother and you'll get an extra 25% off when you keep all the items in your box. That's stitchfix.com slash mybrother. To get started today, one more time that address stitchfix.com slash mybrother. Beginning this summer, you can listen to new episodes of Inside Pop every other week for an even deeper dive inside the world of pop culture.

Now we're still bringing you our brilliant insight, always on the nose opinions, and inside or inside information on the most interesting pop culture stories of the week. And we'll also have interviews with the pop culture professionals who create the culture you crave. For example, we'll speak to casting directors about how they find the right talent for the right role. We'll talk to music supervisors about how they choose the music to create the right mood. And we'll grill producers. We'll discuss what exactly a producer does. Oh, man, Sean, how many times has someone said to you, oh, you're a producer. So what do you actually do?

So many times. Same here. So make sure to catch Inside Pop every other Wednesday on Maximum Fun to indulge your pop culture obsessions. And to hear in-depth interviews from the movers and the shakers in TV, music, film, and more. How about a question, Justin? Our first question, probably a good 35 minutes into the show. I'm a 30 real quick before we get to that.

I just wanted to, we got a really important email here from Tyler that I wanted to read. Riddle me, piss! Oh, Tyler, you got me from Tyler. Wait, is Tyler actually the name of the person who submitted this riddle or did you just make up Tyler? Tyler really did submit. Oh, yes, Tyler submitted the riddle. Can I, I like Riddle Me, Piss, Trav, but the voice is what really kills it. Riddle Me, Piss, boys!

Yeah, Piss, boys is fun. All right, I'm ready. Yes! So, you're a math whiz. You know two nickels is 20 cents. How much is 1,000 Canadian pennies? Yeah, this is, this sounds more like the setup of a joke than- There's a lot to unpack here.

Yeah, because a, yeah. Because two nickels is not 20 cents. Not 20 cents traditionally mathematically using the sort of R math. I also really enjoy a riddle that starts with an aggressive chap. So, you're a math whiz. Yeah, the, I'm going to say a thousand, a thousand cents, which I believe is $10 Canadian, which I think means $10 Canadian, I'm pretty sure is like, is like 9, 940 American. Justin, do you have a solution?

Is it 10 Canadian dollars? How much is 10, 1,000 Canadian pennies? Answer, nothing! In Canada, pennies are worthless. All right, so this is, this is sort of a Canadian joke about how they don't like their smallest form of currency, which is, I think, sort of applicable everywhere. Like, I don't think much of the, the humble penny either, but I don't know, I don't know why you had to make it Canadian, Tyler.

Yeah, Tyler. Tyler just emailed it to me. This is from riddlemaster555. Gregory commented, pennies aren't worthless in Canada. They just aren't produced anymore. If anything, the alloy used to make them is worth more than the monetary value of the penny. So, yeah, it just completely takes your shit apart, I feel like. And do nickels makes 10 cents.

You're thinking of dimes. Dimes is, yeah, well, I don't know what a Canadian nickel's worth. Anyway, do you have any more riddles, riddlemaster? Not today. All right. I'm a 32-year-old, very nerdy graphic designer, and I live slash work in a co-op apartment building. And there are many people of all ages living here, including what has been described as roving packs of teens.

The other day, I was in the elevator with one of these so-called teens, and they said, I looked cool. Man, I've never been cool my whole life. If a teen says you look cool, does that make you look cool? That's from keeping it cool in Canada. Man, who was this teen? I'll tell you what teens don't like. I'm not going to make a Fortnite or vaping joke here,

because we've done about 1,000 of those, although they probably do like Fortnite. They play it on their iPhone. They are not complimenting people, though. I've never seen a teen do a co-op. I say that. There's probably nice teens out there who watch nice Netflix movies, like all the boys I've loved before, and the message is just like, be good to each other. And so there are probably teens who are like complimentary.

I've never seen one. I only see the ones that do helis over my toes and crush my toes, because they weren't paying attention. Do the teens watch The Great British Baking Show? Do the kids watch that and then talk about it at their lockers? Like, oh, that was the bad bake, huh? Do you see that, Tyler? What?

The bad bake? Oh, yes, all that. Yeah, they don't call it baking, though. They call it, um, they call it yeast blasting. Did the teens, did the teen, when they said it, were they like, you look cool? Like that? Because that might have been, maybe it was like pejorative.

There's a lot of variables here. Yeah, the tone of voice, you look cool. Did they say like, you look cool, like a cool person that would buy teens alcohol? Oh, yeah. Hey, did they say, did they maybe say, hey, are you cool? You kinda look cool. Party or, do you party? You look cool, do you party?

Are you cool? Are you a cool cop? Are you a cool cop? Hey, hey, you look, can I say something? You look weed. Yeah, and another variable here is how cool did the teen look, because if it was a real fucking poindexter saying, it just means you're cooler than them, which is probably still pretty low.

The teens are bringing back styles from the 90s. I don't know if you guys keep up with teen fashion. It's back. Always. So the nice thing is, if you don't update your shit, eventually you're gonna circle back around and you will have a window. You may just be in your window right now. Like friends is back, like high genes are back.

Yeah. High genes is back. Were you wearing like a, were you wearing like a Ross sweater? Because that might have done it. Yeah, did you look like a real Ross? Did you look like a real Ross? If they're cool, if they said you're cool, you don't look like Ross. All right.

You look like Joey. You look like a Phoebe. Oh, a Joey. You think Phoebe the coolest friend? Yes, for sure. I think it's all backwards though now, because they're, I think the kids like Ross. I think the kids are just crazy about Ross Geller. No, no, no Griffin.

There's no, there is no generation that will ever be into Ross Geller. That's fair. He was an impotent clown joke. Do you guys want a Yahoo? Don't tweet at me about friends. Listen, please, please don't. I won't appreciate it. I don't enjoy the program.

Don't tweet at me about friends. Don't. It's important. Here is a Yahoo is sitting by Nathan Smith. Thank you, Nathan. It's Yahoo answers user Nathan. Which is maybe just an unfortunate coincidence. The question's from 2010, so I don't think this is Nathan.

I wrote this great Yahoo. I wrote this great Yahoo eight years ago. Okay, well, let's help Nathan out. This is the first time we've ever been able to get like real hands on help. From the source, yeah. From the source. Nathan asks, how can I get sponsored for parkour? Okay, I've been training parkour for six months, 14 hours a day.

No. I can doing anything anyone wants me to do. For example, I just accomplished a quad-con vault outside the other days. No way. No fucking way, brah. I did. It's one of the hardest tricks ever. I take this profession very seriously and push myself to the best of my abilities every day.

Real quick, there's a lot more, but real quick, is there, can you even quantify the hardest parkour trick? Like, it seems like you can always do more flips off a building. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's a higher building, more flips. Well, what happens, Griffin, is someone doesn't flip off the building and their legs explode. And then you just take that back one foot. Walk it back, but then you get stronger legs.

Anyway, we're trying to create... Real quick, quad-con vault. Just so we have some context here. Imagine four obstacles in front of you, right? Like, four... Like hurdles? Yeah, four hurdles, right? So my depression...

That sort of self-destructive... Your uprising, yeah. My uprising, yeah. So upbringing, there's a word. So it's like, you jump up in the air, you land on the first obstacle on your hands, and without really losing momentum, you land on each of the four obstacles with your hands. So like... Okay.

It's... So you don't use your feet? No. I mean, you use your feet to get it going, to get it rolling. Is it faster than walking? I mean, if you got a good head of steam, it would be faster than walking. But that's like... Big strong hands.

Oh, I'm watching it. I just saw someone do it without their feet. Yeah, that's good. Hey guys, can I ask another question, did parkour? Is this just sort of an evolved version of the Monty Python Department of Silly Walking? If you think about it, but hard, like they were doing that, but then they did it hard, and they're like, this is sports now. We got here just in time to make parkour jokes.

Yeah, they're not going to fly in 2019. All right, yeah. No, because there's not going to be room to breathe what with all the vegetable jokes I'm going to be making. So I only went to a parkour... Please let me finish. Please let me finish. I only went to a parkour gym once. Then decided to learn parkour on YouTube carefully and was successful about it.

I would like to get... Thank God for the carefully part. For sure. I would like to get sponsored. My name is Parkour Jim. I'm not going for the money, but wanting to go for the experience and meet new people to learn new moves and bring my skill to the next level. Please give me a legit website and I will be deeply grateful.

Have a great Christmas day for whoever celebrates it. That's good that these are sort of progressive there at the end. So I want to do a trick with my body over a fire hydrant. So good that Taco Bell gives me $100,000 as long as I wear a sticker on my parkour pants. I'm going to share a link here in the chat for the perfect website this person needs to go to. Okay, what's that, Travis? And keep in mind that they can't. Okay, holy shit, Travis.

You're the best brother and best comedian of all time. Travis is maybe the greatest comedic mind of all time. And I feel like nobody really appreciates... I mean, Travis has his fans for sure, but I don't think anybody really understands the true depth of your genius. Thank you very much, Griffin. So go ahead and say what the parkour sort of sponsorship would be, Travis. Parkay.

Yeah, the butter. I'm going to give... And we should maybe give people a chance to really groove on it, really ride the way. It comes in spread sticks and squeeze and spray bottles, if you're wondering. I'm looking at the website now, parkay.com. Don't give the milk away for free, you silly cow. You got to hold on to it. You got to go to the parkay factory and start...

I'm looking to see if there's any kind of contact form. There is contact us. The parkay factory is going to have a giant industrial strength churner in there somewhere. You have to stunt. You got to conge flip all the way over that fucking thing. You got to get... And people will be scared. He's going to fall in and become butter, but you don't.

Because of your abilities. And then they will... It's got to be slippery in there, they'll say. Oh, shit. Go in the parkay factory with your own butter in your pocket. Spread it on the floor, slip, break your skull. Then parkay is going to have to do a settlement for you and give you millions of dollars. And at the end of the day, you can say that's a sort of sponsorship.

There you go. Or spread out some of that competitive brand X butter and then spread out some parkay butter. And see how easy it is to do it on the brand X butter because it's not slippery at all. And then try to do parkour on parkay and you're like, oh, this butter is the slivriest. Yeah, for sure. That's good. We're done. My friend and I are on vacation in Ireland for the holidays.

An old man at a bar, and they've written here pub, I guess, because they're in Ireland. Like, yeah, we get it. No, that was an autocract by Irish Google. It's Irish Clippy. You'll be trying to type on the bar. We can't know. Everything's a mile. I call them bars.

Travis, you're closer to him. Swad is in those of the newspaper. I'm trying to get him, but he's in West Virginia. Just sit around so the old man at the bar, just sit around a beer, is over to our table and wish us a Merry Christmas. We were about to leave. What do we do? We're planning on drinking the beers.

Good start. But we don't know if we're supposed to buy him and his friends around now. How do we leave this pub without seeming like ungrateful tourists? That's from Gifted Againness in Galway. Amp this to amp this shit up. I have only had a round bot for me once at a bar. I've only seen it done once and it was at my 10-year high school reunion.

That even escalated even more because I got even more skin in the game here. The party who did buy the drinks did go around making sure everybody did get their drink, which is maybe a new way of doing this that is, I don't know, you could consider successful. What is the etiquette here for a round? A brew skin. Here's what needs to happen. Bars need to start carrying incrementally larger glasses.

So it's like, okay, you sent over like one pint. I'm going to send back 1.1 pint of beer. Okay. Right. So it's like an investment. So it's like, I bought you a round. Oh, it paid off, right? My investment paid off and now I'm getting a return on the beer that I bought you.

But if it doesn't come back, you're like, oh, well, another bad stock. I didn't choose well on that one. You go, you take your mug or pint glass, I guess. Up to the bar and you say, hi, I'm, I have this and I'm going to be back later. Can you put a lid on it and put it behind the counter for me? And then I'll be back later to please save this for me and put a lid on it or something. And I'll just. So it doesn't get stinky.

So it doesn't get skunked and I'll come back later and drink it. Now, how does that help in getting a beer back to this old man? Yeah, that's the question. Which is, I feel like a round is such a selfless act. When you buy a round, if there's like 30 people in the bar, you're not expecting 29 other people to then do rounds. That would be a, that would take, first of all, that would take four and a half days and no one would survive it.

That's so much. No one says like drinks are on me and then you. And then you do it for me. It's not a fucking like massage circle that you're doing on opening night of your community theater production. It's, you know, it's a pub. I think that this is a very pay it forward kind of thing. Where like maybe next Christmas, you're at a bar, parentheses, pub, imprintsies, and

you buy a round for a table and you say, Merry Christmas. And somewhere that old man feels the warmth in his heart. Oh no, it's a heart attack. I mean, the other thing here is you were about to leave and when, when the three of us used to go out to like, you know, bar things after shows and people would buy us drinks and shots. I had to get good at saying, I don't want that. I don't want people would buy me a shot of like scotch or some shit.

And I'd be like, I do not want that put that. Here's a shot of gin. I don't want to have that. So no, but thank you. Not even thank you. What were you thinking? Of course not. Of course.

Must be tough. Yeah. No one's ever bought me anything in my life. Yeah. I've had to work and scrape for every inch for every shot of scotch. I don't think they do shots of scotch. They don't know much about alcohol. What?

Here's a question. What did he want? What's this guy's angle? You think he's running for mayor? That's gotta be it. It's gotta be. Probably not. I have a sort of unique thing here.

Somebody sent in what I thought was a Yahoo and I looked at it and I was like, Oh, this is great. And then I realized it's actually a Reddit. Is it okay? Sure. Yeah. It's pretty, it's pretty powerful. It's become the monster.

It's become the monster. I think participating in Reddit is about as on the nose of becoming the monster as I can think of. This is from Desetroso. Actually, it was sent in by Michelle Smith. Thank you, Michelle. By Reddit user Desetroso or something like that. They ask, and this is in the guitar subreddit. I got Taco Bell in my guitar and I decayed in what to do.

I got Taco Bell in my guitar and I decay what to do. I was eating Taco Bell nachos and like an idiot, I was eating them over my guitar. As I was going for a bite out of a chip, the beans fell and ended up right in my guitar saddle underneath the strings. While trying to get it out for it with a napkin, I just spread it around and screwed it up. How do I fix this and get it out? The brown stuff? Some of it is really deep in the saddle and I can't even see it anymore.

Will it affect the guitar at all or attract bugs? Pools help. I just wanted Taco Bell and this is my main guitar. The fear is not that you can't get the beans out of your guitar. The fear is that you play the guitar and you're better than you've ever been. And then you become overly dependent on beans in your guitar. It's a rock and roll story, isn't it? It's the tale of the oldest time.

The oldest rock and roll story there is. You get beans in the guitar. Give me the beans. I've already brought you so many beans, is it? I need more beans. I need more beans before you know it. That's why they call me Beanie Ray Vaughn because I love to put beans in there before I play. Jimmy Beendrix.

Yeah, Jimmy Beendrix. Love the rub beans all over it. Hey, could you not? When you go to Taco Bell, I imagine you didn't have your guitar with you. This didn't happen at the restaurant. You brought the Taco Bell home, putting on a guitar while holding a Taco Bell... Like, what was the chain? I cannot imagine a chain of events that would lead me to eating Taco Bell

with my six-string strapped around my back. I can't... Okay, Jam Sash slash Munchdown. I can't... You can't do both at once. First of all, the strings of a guitar after one minute of playing them become stinky and smell like robot armpits. So, like, I would not want that on my nacho sort of materials.

It just seems like you shouldn't do both of these and this is a punishment and it's never going to come out and people are going to look at your guitar saddle and say, like, hey, is that beans and what a goofball? And you have to accept it, that you are a goofball. There's no way you're going to get these fucking beans out. They're there forever. These beans are going to outlive you. Could you take it?

Could you take it? Tell them, like, I don't know, a pawn shop or something and tell them that this is a, like, you know, a Van Halen bean variation version of this guitar because Van Halen always ate beans while they played and see if you can sell it for more money than it's worth and really con them. Yeah, pawn shop owners are so fucking stupid. You can get one over on so easy. One time I took in a bunch of Nintendo 64 games and I said that they are

Freddie Prinze juniors and they gave me, like, a hundred bucks. Yeah, I mean, a hose, just blast it. Just blast it with a hose is one option that Griffin came up with. Soak it in a bathtub. What about dirty toothbrush? It's good to keep an old toothbrush around because it's perfect to clean stuff like this up. Yeah. Use your dad's toothbrush to clean the beans back in the car.

We almost always had a dirty toothbrush lying around that we could use to clean things with. And this was in the home we grew up in. Since then, I've never had an old toothbrush, an old dirty toothbrush, because I think the act of, there's an act of just defilement that you have to do to an active toothbrush in order to get a dirty cleaning toothbrush. Yes. Right. And I've never been bold enough to pull the trigger on them.

It's a nice thing about quip. You're going to have a lot of these lying around every three months. You're going to get a new cleaning tool. It's not like you're getting a new brush. Hey, they didn't pay, Justin. You're right. And laugh about quip. Fuck quip.

All right. Use a brand to the rush. So that's going to do it for us here in our maybe last episode of Collaborate Team, maybe first episode. Let's just call it first episode because we have kicked off the year. Basically, I'm not going to adhere to the calendar. It begins when we say it begins and it has begun now. Frankenstein Teen become the monster.

So welcome to that. I'm sure we'll have some merch at macroemerge.com coming up real soon for that to celebrate. Please don't put it on Redbubble. Just give us a fucking second, please. Give us a fucking second, please. Just wait. And one of us needs to go to Lawyer School online.

Hey, thanks to John Rodger in the long winters for these for our theme song. It's a departure off the album, putting the days to bed. It's a very good album. It's a very good song. And it's a powerful way to start out the show. And it gets me going every time I hear it. Go to Macroy Dot Family. We're going to be in New Orleans and Birmingham

in February. You can get yourself some tickets. Come to those shows, hang out with us. You can find links for that on our website. And come see us. And it will be exciting. I'm excited. I've never been to New Orleans before.

I'm excited. Yeah, I'm excited too. I mean, I've never been to Birmingham either. So I'm excited about that. So just go to Macroy Dot Family. Click on Tours. Get yourself some tickets. That's God's country, Birmingham.

And New Orleans. I mean, all of the earth is God's country. And that's why he protects us from the aliens. What else? Thanks to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. Absolutely. Go to MaximumFun.org. Check out all the great shows there.

Shows like the JV Club with Janet Varney, Newcomer to the network. And shows like the Beef and Dairy Network and Friendly Fire and a bunch more at MaximumFun.org. Hey, quick plug on the last Solbones episode we did. We recorded it live at Cannonites in Huntington. And we've done some That's a Christmas to Me bits on the show. And it is a full Hallmark film that Sydney and I wrote.

And everybody in our family basically performed in it. So if you've- It's extremely. It is so fucking funny. It's really funny. You guys killed it. It is so good. Thank you, guys.

Thank you. That's very sweet. Let's wrap it up. I genuinely touched by that. Thank you. You're out. Good. I don't feel like you're becoming monsters, but that's fine.

We're not in it yet. We're love monsters. So Merritt Palomar sent this one in. Thank you, Merritt. It's y'all who answers users. Sasha, who asks, I ate an old lifesaver candy cherry flavor. Will I die from the oldness of the candy please help?

My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. He's been my brother and my brother made. Kiss your dad. School air on the lips. We've all made mistakes in book club, right? You drank a little too much.

You don't actually read the book. And if you're under the bubble in Fairhaven, your individual will get subsumed by the collective. Hey, maybe I just let him go and whip us up some guac. We do not require guac. We require only nutrients and expansion. You will become book club. You will eat, pray, and love with us.

Join book club. Bubble, the sci-fi comedy from Maximumfun.org. Just open your podcast app and search for bubble.