My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 442: Justin’s Special Shower Sauce

Episode Date: January 15, 2019

There’s a lot of what I’m going to classify as “Goof Echoes” in this episode — a strange phenomenon where subject matter of the past is placed, unconsciously, back on the table for discussion. Join us as we revisit challenging topics, such as Goose-Love, and Shampoo Chemistry. Suggested talking points: Glasswatch, Shark Cuban, Bung’s A Bung’s A Bung, Sudsy Substitution, Special Guestpert: Bridget Lancaster, Schiff in the Mix, Doose Guck

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everyone, and welcome to my Brother My Brother Meet Advice Show. For the modern era, I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. Let me check my notes here. Oh, yep. I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy. And I guess that just leaves the Baby Brother Griffin McElroy, for me. Is that the one you're going to be?

That's who I'm going to be this time. I want to be that character. Yeah, I hear he's the blonde one that drives all the babes wild. He drives the babes wild, he's got better stats, and he can fly. But he has one weakness, chocolate. Hey, what's the intro this time, though? Glass watch. Glass watch. We're going to watch glass, I guess. We're going to make and watch glass. We're going to blow glass.

Mr. Shyamalan is back with his bold vision. His Marvel Cinematic Universe. His Marvel Cinematic Universe, which is, I have to give Mr. Shyamalan credit for continuing with this project because my man did Unbreakable back in the Halcyon days. Yes. 2000. Follow that up. Just took a brief break of 16 years and said, hey, I got another one, but it's a secret.

And I'm not going to tell you it's one of mine, one of this kind. And it was a really, that's the best way to promote any movie by not telling people that it might be related to a movie that they actually did like back in the past. Yeah. So this one's got Unbreakable Guy, which was his formal name. Mr. Glass, of course, Samuel Jackson's turn. It has the nasty man from the movie. Yeah, from the movie.

Angry McAvoy. Angry McAvoy, the nasty man from the movie that very few people watched. So he's going to be cool. It'd be like if they did Avengers and one of the Avengers was like Electra. And I'm also reading here that Superman is in this one. Superman's in this one. They have Village Monsters in this one. They got Paul G. Amati from Lady in the Water in this one.

People are stoked out of their fucking minds. Shark Boy and Lava Girl. Wait, was that him? No, that was Robert Rodriguez, wasn't it? Yeah, it was a different person altogether. Bryce Dallas Howard in two roles is very exciting. We're excited to see what she brings to the table. The Water Aliens are in this one.

Yeah, Water Aliens in it. Asmatic Boy from Signs is in it. He's, I'm very excited to see how he fights all the monsters. And you know, I hear him and Nasty Man have a big tussle. So psych for that. The Ninja in the Water. The Ninja in the Water is back. The Avatar, both The Last Airbender and the Navi, they're all in it.

I was looking up the dates of these flicks on Wikipedia and looking at the names of the films all together. It sounds like you're returning a faulty product. Unbreakable Split Glass. Oh no. Guess it ain't so, huh? Because it's Split Glass, it's supposed to be unbreakable. I would like a full refund.

Now the character I'm worried is going to be a little overpowered in this new superhero team is the happening. The happening is the thing, it's just a thing in the wind that makes people go, just go wild and you know, do bad stuff. And it's sort of just wind. So I don't even know how they show that shit on a poster, but I'm excited. It's going to be, this movie's going to be so fucking badass. Do you guys ever think about the fact that M. Night Shyamalan made, I would say,

some bangers early on, but then was also responsible for the Last Airbender after Earth. The happening. Like some, some major, I would say, El Zilchos. I'm glad someone has those. Yeah, finally. Someone's putting that guy in his fucking place while reflecting on his successes. Truth to Shyamalan. He obviously, much like Mr. Glass, has greatness within him.

And he just needed the right people around him to help bring it out. And those people are not Mark Wahlberg, apparently. Really, Mark Wahlberg brings out the worst. He brings out some bad stuff, y'all. I and my lemon drink. Hey, fellas, let me ask you this though. Do you think post credits, I heard a rumor, the elevator's in it.

He did, remember he made a elevator movie? And that was kind of the last one where he's like, let me just get in there and make a elevator movie. And we were like, I think it's done, bud. So he decided. You guys think there'll be a twist in this one? I just, some kind of twist. Were you expected to be different, but then it's something else?

I want to warn you, if I see Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Rachel Lee Cook show up, I'm going to lose my damn mind. Wait, what? If we're bringing back, well, she's all that. You know, the hit film, She's All That, that was written by M. Night Shyamalan. What? If they show up with Stuart Little on their shoulder,

I'm going to lose my damn mind. Did he write those films? Hell, yeah, he did. I thought you were Shyamalan of Maniac. I didn't. This is, I didn't expect his career to have a Shyamalan twist in it. His career has gone. This year, in the year of our Lord, 1999, he did the sixth sense.

He wrote She's All That. He wrote Stuart Little. And then at Hollywood, it was like, good year, good year. Please have the next 20 years on us. So I'm going to be in this theater fucking open. If they do a midnight showing, I'm in here. I've got to know. I've got to know.

A midnight Shyamalan? I must fucking know. Is that what the M stands for? Absolutely. Midnight Shyamalan. My name is Midnight Shyamalan. The M is for Mid. So do we, I'm done talking about, I feel like we were mean.

And now at least go on. The end of it. Yeah. This is the last film in the trilogy. Sure. The trilogy of films. This is the third one. And I was sad to hear that it's a trilogy.

But then I got happy again. Because Wikipedia says that he said that he's open to making another one if he gets a good idea. Fuck yes. And I, yeah, I guess he has become seasoned with age and will wait to make a movie until he does have a good idea, which I think is good at inspiring. Season with age is a good way.

His career is kind of like that old cast iron pan that you got in your drawer and you're not supposed to wash it, but it's got a little bit of happening in it. But it still has that six cent spice in it. But you had to let the happening burn in it a little bit. A little bit. To get that crust. To get that village crust on it.

So I'm wondering if Freddy Rodriguez and his one big strong arm from Lady in the Water is going to be in it. That I, I. Just the arm. Just the arm, his one big strong arm. Hey, let's do some questions. I'm sorry, I thought we're going to talk about, talk about M. Night Shyamalan.

Were you googling some more? Oh, were you, sorry, were you loading up the cannon juice? Just loading up the cannon for, for the great M. Night Shyamalan. Well, go ahead and blast that shit. I don't want you to get his stuff. I like, I like more of his films than I don't like. And I feel like that might have gotten lost in translation.

He's taking big swing. He wrote Lost in Translation. Come on now. Come on now. I know that even he would look at the happening and say, This one I duked. I duked. On this one is Dooky.

This one is a Dooky for me. There's a W column. There's an L column. There's no shame and ended up in either one of those columns. But there is another column to the right of the L column that is the D column. This is for films you dukeyed. And listen, we've dukeyed a few episodes.

I hear it. But I think even M. Night Shyamalan would say, I dukeyed the happening, the lemon drink thing, the whole, actually all the bits. Watching Spencer Breslin get absolutely fucking bodied with a shotgun in the fucking face. Oh no, that picture. That picture though.

So hey, what's up next? Oh boy. Sorry. Just really good. My dad is a proficient woodworker. He's retired. So he spends a lot of time in his workshop, but he rarely builds things for himself.

He's a very generous man and loves, is this your dad's grinder page or like a question? Okay. He loves building things as gifts for people. However, he sometimes goes overboard and builds things for people he barely knows. For example, he recently told me to build a jewelry box for waitress at a local diner.

Then he made the waitress's boyfriend a cutting board so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. Yowza. How do I tell my dad that this is weird? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, wait on the one hand it is weird. But on the other hand, free jewelry box and cutting board. Yeah, I mean you can't argue with that, Trav.

Free stuff is free stuff is free stuff and we love it in this country. The giving a jewelry box to a person you don't know is the strain. A cutting board is great because a cutting board, I get that from a woodworker and I say, this is handy for me and you did not work very hard on it because it's just, it is just wood.

Thank you, Dennis. It's a board, Dennis. Thank you so much. I see that you've sort of carved in very crudely, Griffin's chopping zone and that's fun and I like it. That is going to get food in it though and that's a problem. It's gonna be gross but I appreciate this, took you three minutes to make

and that's about how I value our friendship too because I do not know you except for when you come to this TGI Fridays. Thank you so much. The cheese balls will be here very soon. I would say though, you can't say like giving a present to someone you don't know is bad because Santa Claus. Yep, that's true, Trav.

Santa Claus gets me stuff sometimes and I think, is this dude in love with me or what? Like he gets me a fancy watch and I'm like, is this dude in love with me? Because I don't know him from Adam. You gave him a list though, Griffin. You give him a list every year in that sweet little stationary set him a list.

That's just asking for things that you get. That's not the same thing. I just don't, sometimes he gets me stuff not on the list and sometimes it's like, you know, one time he got me like undergarments from the undies and I'm like, Santa Claus, that's a little, do you want to see me in these? But like just say, I'm not saying no, it's just like,

I don't know you. Oh, I have a great solution question after. Set your dad up with an Etsy shop and like say something like dad, you're giving all this stuff away for free. Let me set you up. I'll post the pictures. I'll take care of this for you. And like that way, if your dad wants to give stuff out,

he still could, but he can include like a business card with a link to a shop and say, and tell your friends about this. That's good. And that way it's not as weirdly personal. I can sympathize with this because I love to bake. A lot of times I'll find myself baking a whole tray of things. Nobody bakes, you know, three cookies.

You got to bake a pan of them. And I don't know who to give them to. So they end up maybe going to waste or eventually we take them to the other people at the hospital or the city works out or whatever. But on the flip side of that, I often find myself wishing that I had something. It doesn't matter what.

It could be anything. Maybe I want some food. I wish someone would make me some food, I think to myself, but there's nowhere to turn. Well, hold on. I just clicked to the next slide. Well, I'm so glad that you joined me here for this. Has this ever happened to you, Sharks?

Well, I'm happy to announce my new app, Freebee. And there's eight E's in there. So just it's trademarkable, no problem. Freebee is a social network where you can put in something that you want to make and then other people put in some things that they want and then the app connects you. And then you just make the things and they don't go to waste

and people get the things that they need and want. Every time this transaction occurs, they both pay me $17. Huh. I got to say it's exciting and I see where the revenue stream is going to come from. Thank you for talking, Shark. Me, I do say, I got to say this. I already invest in an app called Freebee's

and it's where they give away all the B's that they, it's where you can get B's on sort of gratis. If I might jump. So I'm out. Shark Cuban here. I just, I already have invested in a website called Free the B's which is all about getting the B's out of prison. So far so good.

As far as I know, there aren't any B's in prison. So it's going well. It was a good investment, I think. But this brings me to, I am a fan of B's. I did kind of zone out for most of your presentation. I assume it does include B's. So you, you've stopped talking. Are there B's?

Which says to me, your comedy partner, Justin McElroy, that you didn't listen to what I said closely enough to build on it, but you do want me to, you've put, I drove over to your house with a hot drink and then you, you said scoot over and then you drove me back to my house with that same now cooled stale. Well, I did say the thing about Shark Cuban.

I don't know how much. And that was in the sand and I liked it. I don't know how much more you want from it. You want me to make two jokes? Travis has, there's, there's yes and no but and Travis that had one, this also. Yeah. My thing now.

And a fourth one. This instead. It's good also. How about a yahoo, a yahoo. Please. Here's one from Lawrence Evelyn. Thank you, Lawrence. It's the Yahoo Answers user, Billy, who asks,

is it time to force dogs to wear underwear? Who? I think I'll puke if I have to see one. I haven't even gotten to the good stuff. I don't know why that phrase like I think I'll puke. It sounds like you just opted for something off a menu. If I have to see one more canine anus winking back at me, don't get me started on doggy nuts or lipsticks.

It's disgusting. And I'm tired of being forced to see new dogs everywhere should the government force dogs to dress in underwear. I have a real problem with this that you didn't go with canus. Canine anus, that's clumsy. Canus. Also, I think that the three words canine anus winking is maybe the worst sort of combination

that I've ever sort of experienced in all my time with the English language. But I am tired of seeing these butts and penises and it's a double standard and I do get it. I do get it and approve of it and endorse it and will petition it, I think. How come them not me? Justin, where do you stand vis-à-vis dog nuts?

I love the dog nuts because that's hysterical. What's he doing with us? We've seen Van Wilder, yeah. That's great. That's great. But the butthole? Are you kidding me with this thing? That close to the ground?

And with those few brain cells? I don't think so. Maybe sell crazy elsewhere because we're all full up here, Mr. Dog. Maybe some kind of eye patch. Yeah, you can get it right on the canus but leave the funny dog nuts out. Yeah, I'd love to cover that lipstick up though

if we could find a way to cover the lipstick but leave them. The nuts are so objectively funny. It's like truck nuts but on my best friend, whiskey. Especially you get them on a bulldog? Oh, that's funny. It's so good but we gotta cover that dick up though, yuck. So maybe like a pair of glasses where the dog nuts go

in the nose part. It's like a two for thing and it covers the lipstick in the canus. That's real good. That's real good. I'm gonna actually put an embargo on the word canus, Trav, you're done with that one. Sorry, bud.

But yeah, that'd be fun. Make it look like a Marx brother down there. Yeah. Yeah, cover it up. I'll cover it up. Let's do it. I think let's cover it up but unless it needs, I mean, if it needs to, it needs to.

That's what I know about dogs. So cover it up but with some kind of rip cord that the dog can implement if it needs to. With his mouth, he needs to be able to bite a cord that exposes his butthole. Then he could become incredibly powerful and talented like the rock when he holds a gun in the rundown.

When the dog needs an extra confidence boost, he pulls the rip cord that exposes his anus and then he knows that he's the real king of town. That points. It is a one-for-one comparison with a rock holding a gun and a dog using an anus. Now, what if the rock. You're not going to give me this mortgage?

Well, hold on. Check this out. What if the rock also had a rip cord? He could pull that makes his bung. Griffin, you don't think he does. He's the rock. He is very, very rich and powerful person. That's what the people's eyebrows connected to.

Interesting. So every time he does the people's eyebrows, his bung tears his pants. That's why they never did a reverse shot during WWE Eastov. Travis is a great point. They didn't do that one. Yeah, you never see him from behind. You just see his big powerful front.

That's really interesting. I've never really thought about it. Boys, you're not going to believe this. Pretty much everybody on the comments here thinks this is bad, thinks it's a bad idea and that animals should be allowed to be nude and that this is all human hang-ups. But aren't we humans as animals?

I mean, a bung's a bung's a bung. I've always said that. And I'm sorry to a bunch of y'all who answers people suddenly count more than us podcasters. I think so. I live with my two older brothers and their girlfriends. Someone keeps putting our hand soap in the shower, despite there being an abundance of communal body wash.

It's a fancier bottle than what we usually buy, so maybe they're confused. But I've even circled hand soap in Black marker. Sound like a delight. Does this person know what they're doing? Should I let this happen? Is there some way I can ask my roommates about their soap choices without learning more about them

than I could ever want to know? That's from my brother, my brother, my hand soap and me in Michigan. I thought that hand soap in the shower was really just sort of the... That was that whole market was sort of run by like beach rental houses. Where you roll up in their sad shower

and there's nothing inside of it, except for like a little bit of hand soap and a squeeze bottle. And you're like, I guess this'll get me clean. Thanks Airbnb renters. Yeah, this'll do, I guess. I guess here's the thing, question asked there. If it cleans the skin on your hands,

it probably does the rest of your body too, right? It's not like it's perfectly suited just for your hand skin. This is what, 442? 441, 442? I think it's 442. That means it's been 441 episodes since we have talked about whether sudsy shower liquids are effectively interchangeable.

And I don't know if y'all's position have changed. I think that the hand soap is gonna get you there, but I also think hand soap to a big thing, a body wash, you are paying more per ounce with the hand soap. So like from a monetary perspective, I get it, but I mean, it's all sudsy bubble stuff. You can use that shit anywhere. What about dish soap?

Now we're into it, now we're in here. Because apparently like one drop of Dawn is enough to do a whole sink load of dishes. So I feel like three drops of Dawn would do a whole sink load of Travis. And with my porcelain china doll skin, it's gonna get me there, I think. Man, Travis.

Can we talk about something for a second? Yeah. Yeah. Travis just said a drop of Dawn would wash a sink full of dishes. I'm sitting here and I'm telling you guys, I'm realizing now I don't know how to wash dishes by the sink full. I don't even know.

I couldn't soak dishes in the sink if I wanted to. I don't know how to do that. I have the little stick that's full of soap and a sponge on the end that I wash the dishes with. I don't know how to do that. Do you guys know how to do that? How to wash dishes? How to wash dishes, bud?

Like a sink. If you want to wash a sink full of dishes, right? Where it's like the sink is full of water and soap and they're soaking and then you're loving it. Yeah. Do you know how to, I would have to upturn, I think I'd have to upturn a small plate to cover the drain of the sink.

Is that what people were doing? Oh my goodness gracious. Oh my God, Justin. Justin, you have two human children that you take care of. Yeah, I've done the plate thing before. Is there another way that people are washing dishes by the sink full? I mean, Justin also has archibald.

Who does most of this stuff? Yes, that's true. Who handles most of this stuff for him. Justin's trained orangutan. Oh, and the girls just love archibald playing. Oh yeah, oh yeah. You can get them. And so do the ladies.

Yeah, the ladies love him. Ladies love cool archibalds. He gets, you know, he gets pretty strong and angry sometimes. Hey guys, don't get so distracted by this great new character that you forget to dunk on me. We were trying to save you because you're our brother and we love you. Yeah, it's bizarre dude.

I do dishes every week. Okay, how? By fucking, well, what are you talking about? By getting them wet and soapy and then scrubbing them with the sponge and then rinsing them off and then putting them in a dryer. What the fuck are you talking about? I don't have, same way human beings have kept water

from running out of a thing forever. It's not fucking active. You have access to an Amazon account. I have not had a plug for a decade and I'm doing fine. I'm doing fine. Justin's a little, if you can hear me, order a sink drain plug from Amazon now. It's not fucking plutonium juice.

Like you don't have to handle it special. You wash it like you would wash a car, a child. Hey, let me ask you guys a question. Yes. A big bottle of bubble liquid that you would use to blow bubbles for a child to enjoy? You think you can get clean with that shit? Well, it's got glycerin in there.

Yeah. It gets slippery. You want to get slippery and maybe some people like that. If you go down a slip and slide, covered in dish soap, is that like a shower? I think that'll get, yeah. Most stuff's like a shower if you really think about it. I made a mess.

So things are like showers and poetry so far, if I'm keeping track. I did a mess up as I bought some shampoo to replace my last shampoo at plus conditioner, obviously. I'm not going to do that twice. I bought some shampoo, plus conditioner, replaced my old shampoo plus conditioner. And then today, when I was looking at my body wash, I noticed on the label, it said, also, it's also shampoo.

I don't know how they put it. I think they had a more professional way of putting it, but it's like, this is also shampoo in here. And then I had to look at that new bottle and just kind of be kind of sad because it's like, I'm never, ever going to use you. I'm sorry, I can't do this. If I could have one all just in cleaning liquid,

of course I'm going to do that. Well, can we, oh, this is like the special Good Burger sauce. What if we mix together some of your good body wash, some really good smelling stuff. And I'm talking about splurging for some axe shit. The real deal, holy field, good smelling, good stuff like axe. And then you put a little bit of, you know, Pantene Pro-V conditioner for, you know,

severely dry damaged hair. And you mix that cream in. And then if you want a little bit of shampoo in there, maybe a little herbal essences, so you can, like in the commercials, have a come while doing the shower. I think this is great. And it can be your all in one special shower stuff.

Get you clean, get you conditioned, get you come. Out. Get you come out. Get clean inside and out. Get a clean going on the hair, the body, and get you a come out. I'm a child, because I'll always laugh at the phrase, get you come out.

I mean, it's new. You don't have to be ashamed of that. Yeah, and I don't think a child would. If a child laughed at that, I would be very perturbed. It's a bold new idea in comedy. Like, we can't just, can't just write it off that quickly. Should we go to the money zone, I think? Yeah, I'd love that.

Folks, our first sponsor this week is Casper. Speaking of getting a come out, right? Wait, what? That's nothing. It's a sleep brand that continues to revolutionize its line of products to create an exceptionally comfortable sleep experience one night at a time. You spend one third of your life sleeping,

so you should be comfortable. These mattresses are designed and engineered to soothe and cradle your natural geometry. That's trying to say, Casper. Extremely kind. Thank you. Yes. Your body is a triangle.

I love that, too. Polytechahedron. They offer free shipping and no hassle returns in the USA and Canada, if you're not completely satisfied. You can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100 night risk-free sleep on it trial. So get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting casper.com slash brother and using promo code brother at checkout.

That's casper.com slash brother and then use the promo code brother at checkout. For select mattresses, you got to read it. Towards select mattresses. Terms and conditions apply. I don't think they want you to be mean about it though. Okay, let me try again. And use the promo code brother for $50 towards select mattresses.

Terms and conditions apply. It's bold and italic. I don't know, that's too confusing for me. I don't know how to say it. Yeah. There, there, that's the ad. Maybe it's excited, like terms and conditions apply. Hey.

Terms and conditions apply. Squarespace is also a sponsor this week. If you want a no strings attached sort of thing going on, Justin's going to move some sheets into the dryer BRB, according to the Skype chat. So juice, you do that. Very professional. Very professional, very good thing to do.

I'm sure Squarespace appreciates it. If you need to make a website, a beautiful, sexy website, that people will get really just attracted to. And you can use that website to showcase your work or you have an event or a project you want to promote. Or you got a physical or online business you want to show off. You got to use Squarespace because they let you make beautiful looking websites, very functional websites,

even if you don't know how to make websites. They make it super easy for you with beautiful, customizable templates created by world-class designers. They've got powerful e-commerce functionality that lets you sell anything online. Analytics to see how your website's doing. They have all kinds of great stuff. So go to squarespace.com slash mybrother for a free trial

and when you're ready to launch, use the promo code mybrother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Dead Pilots Society brings you exclusive readings of comedy pilots that were never made, featuring actors like Patton Oswalt. So the vampire from the future sleeps in the dude's studio during the day and they hunt monsters at night.

It's Blade meets the odd couple. Adam Scott and Jane Levy. Come on, Corey. She's too serious, too business-y. She doesn't know the hokey pokey. She'll learn what it's all about. Busy Phillips and Dave Kekner. Baby, this is family.

My uncle Tell, who showed his wiener to Cinderella at Disneyland, is family. Do you want him staying with us? He did stay with us for three months. And he was a delight. A new pilot every month, only on Dead Pilots Society for maximum fun. Well, I am extremely excited right now

because we have been joined here in the My Brother, My Brother, Me Chuckle Pit by none other than Bridget Lancaster. She's one of the hosts of America's Test Kitchen. She's been with the show since it launched. She is the host of America's Test Kitchen's new show, podcast in this case called Proof. And she is also on this podcast,

My Brother, My Brother, Me. So it may seem like a contradiction, but I assure you she is present. Her name is Bridget Lancaster, and she is here with us. Bridget Lancaster, welcome to my brother, my brother, and me. I can't even believe I'm here. I mean, this is like a West Virginia homecoming.

It kind of is. I learned this that you grew up in cross lanes. Is that correct? I sure did. And I worked at the Huntington Mall, believe it or not. Yeah, our town. Wait, where at?

As a chef, I have to imagine it was Olive Garden. Were you at the Big Lover? Okay, it wasn't even food. I was at the Benetton. Nice. Yeah, high-end folks here. Wait, Griffin, did you ever work at the Huntington Mall? Because if so, that would be all four of us.

Unfortunately, no. I think I'm the only one who escaped its clutches. No. See, I worked at the Best Buy. Justin, I believe you were at both the Olive Garden and the Babbage's. I was at the Olive Garden and the Babbage's, the Best Buy, the Toys R Us.

He was all over that mall. Yeah, and the Olive Garden. Yeah, I worked at five different mall area places. But now I work at America's Test Kitchen. Nope, that's. What? That's pretty true, actually. No.

So tell me this new podcast proof. Is it a podcast adaptation of the Gwyneth Paltrow Anthony Hopkins movie proof? You nailed it. That's, that joke's not going anywhere. It's probably exactly the opposite of that, I would say. As close as it would get to Anthony Hopkins or Sir Anthony Hopkins, right?

Would be, maybe we would do an episode on Do Fava Beans and Keonti Actually Go Together. Oh, OK. Hey, did you know that the guy who directed that movie, as well as Shakespeare in Love and the best exotic merry-go-old hotel, his name is John Madden? That doesn't seem right.

That doesn't seem like it should be allowed. John Madden? It's him. It's the same guy. He's a huge football man, I guess. We have a lot of questions from listeners about food and cooking. I want to ask one, though, before we get started.

Bridget, what food are you most embarrassed about very much enjoying? Just like, what kind of garbage do you really get down on? That list is long. I mean, it is really long. I love that food. Yeah, but don't pull out one. Bridget, I don't want you to pull out one

that makes you sound like a woman of the people. You know, like, I don't want a populist choice here. I want something nasty. Yeah, I don't want, like, potato chips. Yeah, I'd like something gross. Yeah, yeah, no way. I want, like, rough. I got one.

Yeah, I got one. Although, you know, I'm saying it doesn't sound gross to me, which is why I eat it. But I love, uh, I love microwaved bologna. What? What in the world? I didn't even know that was a thing you could do.

I assume you mean bologna that you microwave, not, like, like, freeze-dried thing. Don't eat that bologna you haven't microwaved in yet. Okay, so I got to tell you why. And I guess you could do it on the stove top, too, but I'm just really impatient. So you take a slice of bologna, and you got to cut these little,

little, like, release cuts around it. Otherwise, it'll cup up. That's okay. Oh, so somebody will like the cup because it captures all the bologna sweat right there. You're talking about, like, fried bologna. It's basically fried bologna. And then I talk about cheese,

and then as it, as it cooks, it turns out, it's basically a hot dog and cheese in, in flat form. I know. Oh, my goodness. You have just given me the strongest sense memory that one time I remember spending the night at my friend Chris's house when I was, like, 10, and he microwaved a slice of bologna

and put, like, pizza sauce and mozzarella on it and, like, served it to me like bologna pizza. This is supposed to, I thought this would be, like, a fun food segment where I would learn about great foods. And now I never want to eat ever again. I want to get, I want to go buy a lifetime supply of soylent and just kind of give the rest of it up.

Oh, come on. I didn't, I would hate that I disillusioned you a little bit. It has been a while since I've had my microwave bologna treat. Bridget, to be fair, with grooving stomach, it would probably be better if we stopped eating solid food. Well, that would be, like, maybe pureed bologna, would be the next. Yeah, now we're talking.

Now you're cooking. Yeah. You culinary expert, you. That's perfect. Okay, I have to ask a question. That's the law. I am obsessed with cheese platters. Whenever I see one on a menu at a restaurant,

I try to order it. Unfortunately, they're often very expensive and contain very small samples of cheese. I've tried to recreate the magic at home, but it's just not the same. How can I recreate a restaurant-worthy cheese platter at home without breaking the bank? That's from Cheese Obsessed in Vermont.

Well, they could just walk right outside there in Vermont. I mean, cheese hangs from the trees up there. Yes. Ooh, that explains everything. Yeah. Well, okay, so I think a good cheese platter has to have three kinds of cheese. Usually there's a cheddar involved,

and a sharp cheddar, and then a blue. You know, neither cheddar nor blue has to be very expensive. You can get pretty good blue. The third one is where I feel like you can kind of go off the rails and get really fancy if you want. You can have an aged goat cheese or something tangy, something to offset the funk of the blue and the sharpness of the cheddar.

But I mean, you know, the three cheeses, that's all you need, three cheese. And the third cheese you're saying is the wild. The other two cheeses, lock, you know they're going to be good. Yes. The third cheese, you can get something. Challenging. Challenging.

That's where your personality shows through, you know what I mean? That's where it's like, oh yeah, Doug, Doug only does cheese with him and him's in it. That guy, when he does the cheese slate. Right. You know you're going to get Gouda with Doug. And he's going to make a joke about it and say like, as Gouda as it gets or whatever, that's Doug.

And then you get to say, I can't embarrass it any longer. Oh my God. Yosa. Yosa. Downtown. Machi. So like if you also, if you don't want to leave the house, you can usually just make one out of stuff you got lying around.

You could do one with like shredded cheese, and then some cream, like a big mound of cream cheese. Cheetos. And some Cheetos that you just have there. Yeah. Crushed Cheez-Its. I would probably do like my cheddar and blue would be cheap and bad. And then my third powerful cheese,

I would get something incredibly, incredibly powerful because no one's going to remember the other two anyway. No. Because my third cheese is so, so important. Like a gold cheese. Eating a, eating a hateful cheese that you know is going to be quite bad is, it's a really great way of becoming the monster here in 2019, I feel like. That would be the best name for a cheese shop, the hateful cheese.

The hateful cheese. That's why people put that stinky blue on there, right? Like that's the challenge cheese. Oh yeah. That's the cheese of like, we know you're not going to finish that one. Nobody wants that. Oh yeah. No, if it smells like a foot, you know,

we're just going to start walking away. I, Hey, we talk, we talk about charcuterie a lot, including actually, I think later in this episode, which we recorded before this bit, which is strange, but are you supposed to stack it all up like a sandwich and go for it that way? Are you really supposed to enjoy each thing one at a time? You can do whatever you want.

You could stack it all up Scooby-Doo style if you want. No, it's not. No. No. You know, or just take a big, you know, hammer to it and mash it all into one big lump and. Oh, now we're talking. Okay.

Now, Bridget, you're an expert. You cannot tell people that because they weren't going to have people going off smash their charcuterie with hairs and say, it's okay. Bridget says, that's fine. I want the video of that. I went to a really bougie place recently in Vegas where the dude like had the, like a whole cheese cart and he asked us some questions, like, I don't know, Somalia, which I also think is BS,

but he asked us some questions and then he said, okay, I think these are the three cheeses for you. Oh no. That's not real, right? He just had three cheeses in mind. He was already going to give us because those are the cheeses he had thought of. Yes, three cheeses in his pocket. Yeah.

I don't understand these places because they make you automatically feel like you're not good enough for their cheese. I'm not. To be fair, I wasn't. And I'm not saying, I want to say Somalia, the knowledge of wine isn't bunk. It's the idea of saying this wine is better than this one because of notes of, I don't know.

Oh, Mitt Travis, own it. You hate wine. You hate wine people. I think Bridget's going to agree with me here. The big problem with a cheese plate is how all the cheese on it is raw. I've been on the, I've been pretty firm on my sands that raw cheese is inedible and it should always be melted into a dip or pizza topping. Do you feel pretty much that same way as me, Bridget?

I will say that slightly warmed cheese tastes a lot better than cold cheese. Just put it right out there. That is the, she is meeting you halfway. That is such a generous response. Yeah, I'm just going to accept it. I recently started living alone and my cooking skills aren't that great. I also don't have a lot of time to cook. What are foods that last a long time in the fridge

that I can make multiple meals out of during the week? Oh boy. Well, I would say not depending on if they have any limitations, if they like meat or anything like that. I would say that cooking a big batch of beans and rice and then you can keep pulling from it and adding a little bit of chicken or steak or chopped vegetables, things like that. So I think if you have like what I do at home, I do a cook day.

I have a couple of big cook days where I'll cook a big batch of something and I'll keep that for leftovers for my kids and stuff. And so I can, I don't have to start from ground zero every single time for like beans and things like that. I would also, I, hi, I'm Travis. I'm the other food expert on this podcast. Suvi is Griffin got me into it. Oh, I've been wondering when we were going to get into this.

You don't have to know anything and like you throw that bag into some, you know, water with the Suvi magic wand going and then you walk away and you can come back like three, four, 24 hours or whatever hours later and it's done. It's amazing, isn't it? I love this. I love this meat bath. I was so excited.

I got one for Justin a couple of years ago. I got one for Travis. Justin, why don't you chime in? What have you been Suvi'ing, babe? What you got going on in that one, in that meat bath? That I got you as a gift that I thought you'd love like two years ago? Is this a real Suvi thing or are you guys just in a jacuzzi right now? Griffin really did get me a Suvi thing that really is still in the pantry unopened,

but Griffin, I feel like it's going to be soon, but I just have been waiting for a real special time for me and my family. Haven't I balanced it out enough by literally using it every day for the last three weeks? Yeah, I mean, you're a good one. You're a good one. Thank you. Let's say for my birthday, my friend bought me a very fancy chef's knife, something I've wanted for quite some time, but as I started cooking meals for myself

for my partner, I couldn't bring myself to remove this beautiful blade from its cardboard packaging. It looks so pristine and perfect. It seems a shame to use it for something as mundane as chopping tomatoes. I use my old nasty chef's knives to prepare the meal instead, but now I'm afraid of never using this wonderful blade I've been gifted. Help! How do I break in my new knife in an appropriate way?

Or should I just get it over with and chop the ding-dang mushrooms? That's from Scared of Slicing in Sacramento. I love that question. That actually happens with whole kitchens. People renovate their kitchen and then they don't cook at all because they don't want to mess it up. And I get that, but I'd say any great meal would be worth using that knife. And I tell you what, anything that you use a just right out of the package knife on

is going to make it feel like a million dollar ingredient because it's just going to slide right through it. For Christmas, Justin got me a knife block that is a magnetic like spinning 360 like wooden knife block that I believe- Did I get that knife block because it was the number one most recommended knife block by America's Test Kitchen chosen as the best knife block? Indeed, I did. Yes, that is accurate.

And I find that that also makes me use my knives way more often because one, they're visible, so I think to use them. But two, magnets are basically magic. And like I can kind of from across the room throw the knife at the block and it sticks to it. Oh, that's the best. Every time I watch Kill Bill and Hatori Hanzo does that in the kitchen, he like throws the knife and it gets caught in the net. And that's appropriate because whenever I get my knife sharpened at the farmer's market and

bring it home, I'm very much in this person's shoes where I'm like, this is Hatori Hanzo's steel. It's now ornamental. It's now has sentimental value. I cannot risk dulling this beautiful blade. You have to. Using a dull blade is the worst thing you can do. It's just going to skip right off the food.

It's going to find your finger every single time. Well, now I never want to cook again. Should I wear chain mail gloves? Is that a thing? My friend got one of those because he used to run the slicer at Arby's. So my friend had one that we used for cooking all the time because it did. There is there is little more empowering than cooking with a chain mail glove because it's like, I don't care.

I'll do whatever I want. But where I want, how I want. It is literally medieval, right? It puts you back and you want these giant turkey legs. They use them a lot for shucking oysters up here, the chain mail gloves and things like that. I would worry that I'd be like, well, I've already got the glove. Let's just go ahead and buy a full chain mail suit of armor. Why would that worry you?

Yeah, that would be kind of amazing. I've been watching a lot of Marie Kondo and I don't think she'd be so down on me owning a whole set of chain mail armor. I think it would spark me a little bit of joy right now, but then very quickly it would just be a lot of armor. But it probably folds into nothing. That might be a good point. Yeah, and when the shit hits the fan, I'll be the one wearing chain mail.

That's true. And she won't be. She'll be like, where's all my- And then finally you can fight Marie Kondo. She'll be like, where's my weapons and armor? That's right, I threw them all away. And chain mail is a great scrubber for really dirty pots and pans. See?

Sure. So you can just rub them on your body. Yeah. You're an all-in-one cooking robot. Get all the gristle off. It's like the third thing I need a video for. Bridget Lancaster, thank you so much for joining us on My Brother, My Brother and Me. Where can people find your work?

Your body of work, if you will. Wow. So, well, I would love people to check out my Twitter account. It's at realbelancaster. Or go to americastestkitchen.com, backslashproof, and you can read all about our new podcast, which I'm so thrilled and honored that you guys like so much. Really appreciate it.

Oh, it is. It is our pleasure. Thank you so much for being here, Bridget. And let's get back to the rest of the program. Hey, do you boys want a yahoo? I do. Thank you. I mean, I've got one here that was sent in by Elliott.

Thanks, Elliott. It's an anonymous yahoo answers user who I'm going to name Percy asks, Hey, why don't they make an electric eye that moves and watches you and is like Google Home or Amazon Echo? Huh. Why don't they make a device like Google Home or Amazon Echo, but that is an eyeball and eyelids on a moving pole that watches you and follows its eyes on you everywhere you go.

It blinks and it talks and it scans you and tells you what it thinks you need like clothing or something like that. Can you fucking imagine if the eye in your house blinked at you and was like, you need a new shirt? Do you want me to talk to the little cylinder guy you got in the kitchen and make it get you a new shirt? Because I can do that. That's what you're wearing today?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to order you some shoes. It is, it is. I can see what they're kind of saying because if you think about it in like an iRobot sense, you basically just created like ears that lay on your counter. And I guess I'm right. So like ears and mouth that lay on your counter, but like, they desperately want to get up and look at you and follow you around the house

and kill you and help you make breakfast and take you to school. And say catty things about the clothes you're wearing and murder you. And yeah, for sure. Or you're like, you know, whatever we want to call it, like, I got to think of a name that's not one of my go to comedy names. Got it. Sugarman. Okay.

Go Sugarman. Yes. You say Sugarman. Order me, you know, another Whitman sampler. And Sugarman's like, no, like, what? You're like, you still have half a Whitman sampler left. I can see in the cat. I can see it right there.

When you finish that one, I'll order you another one. Because you know, if I get you another one, you're going to open that one up and you're immediately going to eat all the toffees and then leave half of it again. And I'm not going through this again with you, Travis. Now let's talk about those jeans. What in the world are those? Are those Jinkos? Well, actually that might be back.

Yeah. Maybe it could just be Carson Kressley up there, like his eye. The queer eye floating in the air telling you, telling you these things. That could be good. So I took some stool softeners about an hour ago for personal reasons. And if I don't get up and address the effects of those right now, I'm going to blast off like Team Rocket. I'm so sorry, guys.

So, Jason and I just pick up your, oh, he's gone. So we'll just keep doing this, the show, I guess. Here's some others. Hey, Travis, I know something could talk about where Griffin's gone. Okay. Because I don't want to waste this time with you. Okay. Do you, if you had, obviously you said Sugarman, but really though,

if you had an android at your house, what celebrity would you most want its personality to embody? Oh, see, that's tough, Justin. Because my first thought was to go with Oscar Isaac, who is the celebrity I most want to hang out with. Sure. And ask him about his time in a ska band in the early 2000s. Okay.

But like you got to pick somebody who, Yes. Like they're going to do, like they're not annoying for them to be there. It's not weird that they're there, but also you're not so distracted by like, is that Chris Hemsworth? You know what I mean? Right. So do you have an answer for me or were you out on this?

I'm going to say, Dulay Hill. Dulay Hill. Yeah. I think that that would be like an easy chill dude to hang out with. I was going to say Timothy Amundsen, but I think I was just stuck because I also thought James were a day. So basically I just cycled through different actors from psych.

Right. I could also see Maggie Lawson. So basically anyone from psych, anyone from psych. Basically anyway. Well, then Bernstein maybe, I don't know much about him. I would like to see, here's, I think mine would probably be John Larrake. Because I felt like, are you guys still going? That would be classy.

Yeah. Wait, are you guys still going? Yeah. We were just talking about if we had a robot butler, what celebrity personality. Well, now this is, but if you guys kept doing stuff without me here, I am going to have to leave in the part where I explained that I took stool softeners and had to go. Yeah, exactly. So we got, it was a,

Johnson said he didn't know how to plug up a sink and you don't know how to plug up your bow. Yeah, it's all, it's all the same. And Griffith, if you had a, I just said John Larrake. Because I feel like kind of catty, definitely loves like loyalty, but can be a little bit like catty with people, but also like hard worker, smartest guy in the room would love that. I said anyone from the cast of Scythe. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So are we talking about robot butler or are we still talking about the eye? Because if it's a robot butler, well, no, it's not. It's an android that lives in your house. Yes. Okay. Like what celebrity personality would you wish was going to have? It would change for me.

If it's a robot butler with a robot bod, it would probably be Rosie O'Donnell, just because it's like it would make me laugh all the time. And the other, if it was just an eye floating above me though, I would want something a bit more ominous, like a Tilda Swinton. If there was a Tilda Swinton telling me that I don't need more syrup. I have four bottles of syrup. Stop buying syrup every time I go to the store. Or also that, you know, my jeans are wack.

I want that to be a stern, stern Tilda. If we're talking about like a floating eye, I would want that to be more someone I'd be afraid to disappoint because like I wouldn't. So I would say like a Bradley Whitford. Oh, yeah. See, no, I would say Toby Ziegler would be the one that I would most not want to disappoint. Like no way. Yeah.

Get a shift up there. Get shift in the mix. All right. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Steven Weber, final answer. Steve and Justin Travis goes hard for Steve. Stands for Steven. Weber is good.

Steven Weber, final answer. We should be clear. We are talking about if you could sort of copy and paste the personality of that person. So they would be around you all the time. You're not talking about literally sort of, you know, uploading Steven Weber's actual consciousness, sort of, you know, black mirror style. Putting him in a jar. Well, like, uh, like Brock Tune.

Like Brock Tune. Yeah. Anyway, here's another question I got. I work for an insurance company. Our corporate campus several buildings service by an access road that feeds out to the main strip. The grounds are nicely landscaped, including a big pond near the entrance. Problem is, this is attracted a big flock of geese that wander the grounds. Sometimes they'll just walk out on the access road and cause traffic jams.

The most heinous thing I saw were a gaggle of geese standing in front of the access road where it meets the main road and seven cars backed up waiting for them to move. You couldn't even go around them because of the median. I've yet to be trapped by them, but I don't know it's only a matter of time until they make me late for work. What can I do to get rid of these geese without hurting them? That's from my goose is cooked in Massachusetts. Uh, I guess what we're dealing with here is life, uh, finds a way.

Okay, sure. All right. I'll allow it. Go on. We tried to take the land from the geese. Yeah. And now, uh, geese are taking the land back. It's not bad.

I mean, man creates goose. Goose delays man. God kills man. Goose kills God. Eats God. Goose eats God. Women rule the world. Food for thought.

Hey, hey, is it possible the insurance company you work for is Afflack? And the, these geese are here by design because the Afflack duck needs to fuck. And so they bring in. And as we all know, ducks love to fuck geese. And that is also Afflack's second motto. It's the, the Afflack motto is 15% or more of 15 or whatever. No, that's Geico, but they have a motto. The other one is the Afflack duck gots to fuck.

The Afflack duck. A cross species breeder that is an abject horror to God himself. A duck and a goose. A goose is just a pretty duck. I don't know why it would go there. Griffin, it would make a guck. And I'm not a fan of this portmanteau. No.

Or a deuce. That's not good either. The deuce guck. May I dig a little? A few monsters. Deuce guck. Rob, Rob is back. And this time he's playing a half duck, half goose, monstrous hybrid who is here

for your sexual needs. He's deuce guck, guck gigolo. I just think that if that happens, you've got a bill. Okay. Let's not get rid of the geese. All right. Yeah. Let's leave the geese and then be late for work whenever the fuck you want to.

It's so good. Yes. It's so good. Like you could just plan on leaving your house like 15 minutes late and there's like the geese. The geese again. And then eventually they'll round up all the geese and they'll send them to a real nice geese farm upstate. Real nice fellow employees.

Not Justin, you're suggesting. Real nice. Yeah. You're suggesting that these people who are going to send them upstate are somehow able to collect all geese. I'm saying that if it starts cutting into employee productivity, corporate America will find a way to evict these geese to hell. That's kind of what I think is that they'll probably kill all the geese.

That's what I'm saying is it'll kill all the geese. So there is, I think there's a limited number of times you can use this excuse would be my concern. I feel like Dilbert got weird when it was then more about sort of them killing geese, but I think sort of following Scott's sort of arc. His journey through this life and the sort of unorthodox path that he's decided to carve through it, I think it makes a lot of sense. Oh, Scott.

Oh, Scott, you've done it again. You made us talk about you, Scott. You did it again, Scotty. This Jebatron from Scott. Hey, do you guys want to click Yahoo? Yeah. How quick? This one was sent in by level 9000.

Yadru Druid. Drew Davenport. Thank you, Druid. It's Yadru answers user greatest who asks, why do people with baguettes think they are better than me? I was at the local grocery store asking where I could find a good meat to go on a charcuterie and not one, but two people holding baguettes told me you seem like a deli ham kind of person. They seemed like they were talking down on me and I just wanted to know why baguettes make people

mean. I don't believe this. I don't believe that anyone said ever told anybody you look like a deli ham person. No, no, no, I guarantee here's what happened. Hey, where do I find meat for charcuterie? Oh, you should check out the deli. Oh, I'm a deli meat kind of person. Either that or this person said, where can I find meat for like a

charder or a coterie? And it was like, maybe you should stick with baloney. That's what it was. These baguette havers. They heard you say, yeah, I'm looking for some good meats for charcuterie. And they're like, oh, babe, oh, sweetheart, you are not prepared for it. You're going to get hurt. You're going to hurt yourself.

Yeah. We talked about charcuterie before on this show. You couldn't handle it. You can handle it. Some of those, they call it sharp cheddar for a reason. You don't even know where to look. Where are you going to find the honeycomb, the raw honeycomb? You don't.

You can't get a lunchable. Start there. A lunchable is like, that's right. It's like a training charcuterie. Yeah, a charcuterie junior, new from Hasbro. It is charcuterie. They should start calling it that. I bet you'd rope in some dumb people.

Yeah, you can catch charcuterie junior. Charcuterie. There it is. There it is. I was scraping for it. You found it. And you could do it like those bad Chevy commercials, where you get a bunch of people sitting at a table.

And maybe they're professional chefs, some of the best chefs in the country. I'm talking about real Emeril Lagasse types. And they're sitting there at the table and you say, here, let's have some charcuterie while you wait. And they eat it. And then Emeril's like, hey, this is pretty good charcuterie. And you pull it off.

And it's been lunchables. And he'll never work in this town again. That'll teach him. That'll teach him for fucking kicking it up so much. You fucking kick it down. Listen, there's a reason the rest of us aren't kicking it up all the time. Emeril, and now it's time for you to pay the piper.

You've been embarrassed by my lunchables commercial. Got you. Well, folks, that's going to do it for us. Thank you so much for listening to our program. We hope you have enjoyed yourself very much. We want to say a huge thank you to Bridget Lancaster. You can watch her on America's Test Kitchen, or you can download and listen to Proof,

a podcast from America's Test Kitchen. I would highly recommend all episodes, but the ones about being boozled. There's a two-parter about how they get the weird flavors in being boozled, Jelly Bellies. It is utterly fascinating that you should listen to, and we're very grateful to her for appearing on the program. We also want to say we are going to be at PodCon.

That is coming up January 19th and 20th. And so if you're in the Seattle area and you want to come, you can grab tickets at podcon.com. But there's also a remote attendance option where a little bit after the event, you can basically get recordings of all of the panels, performances, and live recordings from PodCon too. So even if you can't make it, you can still hear

all the stuff that's discussed there. Go to podcon.com. Also, go check out macroi.family. There's a lot of cool stuff on there, but also there's a link to our live shows, and you can get your tickets for our upcoming Birmingham, Alabama, and New Orleans, Louisiana shows.

That's coming up February 8th, 10th, and 11th, if I remember correctly. So go check that out, macroi.family, as well as everything else we do. Yep. I think that pretty much covers it, right? Thanks to John Roderick and the Long Winters for the use of our theme song, It's a Departure. Off the album, Putting the Days to Bed.

It's a great album, great song. We're very fortunate that we are able to use it. Check out the other Max Fun shows. JV Club, Rachel, was on an episode this week, or I guess last week by the time you listened to this. My... Yes, so that's very exciting. I can't wait to dip into that.

It just came out right before we started recording, so. Yeah, and do y'all want that final? Heck yeah. Sure do. Here it goes. This final yahoo was sent in by Jeff Mock. Thanks, Jeff, it's yahoo who answers user. Lana K, who asks, Is it possible to be blowed out a whale's blowhole and life?

My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad, square on the lips. Hey, it's Jesse, the host of Bullseye with Jesse Thorn. I'm coming to Portland, Oregon. We're going to be doing a very special live episode of Bullseye,

my NPR interview show. It's taking place Friday, February 15th at Revolution Hall. What are you going to see? If you go to Portland, Oregon to see this show, you will see me live on stage talking with folks like Corrin Tucker from Slater Kinney, director Lance Bangs, writer Bill Oakley, Simpsons Legend. We will also have live music from Roseblood and live comedy from Katie Wynn. It's going to be a blast and a half.

It's also part of a big podcast festival called Listen Up Portland. Tons of other great podcasts are playing at it, too. Our pals with Doughboys, among others. So again, that's Friday, February 15th at Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon. 7 p.m. Tickets are on sale now. Get them at ListenUpPortland.com. And thanks.