My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 448: Bird Words

Episode Date: February 25, 2019

This episode features some of the narrowest narrow-casting yet recorded in human history, which is to say: If you’ve got a science report about Birds due at school tomorrow morning, we’ve absolutely got you on this one. Suggested talking points: Justin’s Soundboard, Snowblower Preferences, Hot Grapes?, Eight Paper Towel Rolls, Moist Magazines, AI Taxi, 50 Avian Descriptors

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, and me. An advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I am your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy. And I'm your sweet baby brother, and I'm Griffin McElroy. I think it's time to lose it.

It's starting to feel a little like, yeah, it was a quarterback in high school. No, we're just used car lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of feeling embarrassing. It's feeling kind of feeling played and embarrassing and tired. Almost like nobody ever cared about it, like it wasn't that big a deal. It's almost one of those things where it's made it worse retroactively. I can't listen to any of the episodes before 448, because Griffin calls himself a baby, and it's like, if that's your kink, good. Now see, Justin, I think Griffin was just talking about the 30 under 30 media luminary,

not like his whole identity on the show. Let me try again. Let's do the whole intro again, and I'll try to do a good one. Should we all have different sort of energies? Different ablations. Okay. Hey, what's up? Yeah, whoa. A bold new direction for the Justin character. He's a bit of a bad boy. He sits backwards on the chairs. No, I'm not going to do any of my own played, tired shit. Okay. So who are you? Okay, let me start. All right. It's Justin here.

Macaroy, that is. I'm one of three brothers that are bringing to you a new show, a new energy for an old show called My Brother, My Brother and Me, and I'm Justin Macaroy in this neck of the woods. You're, I'm king of the pirates, Travis and Macaroy. Hey, I'm Griffin. My friends call me Zit and Forbes gave me an award one time. Shit. Griffin. Now, what is the, what is the shit? Is it in reference to the fact that your friends call

you Zit or you still brought up the Forbes thing? The Forbes thing, the Zit thing, I don't mind because, you know, my friends love saying that about me because it's how nasty I am and how I don't give a shoot about hygiene. I just want to be on my board and ride either the concrete or the sweet blue ocean. And so like, I'm, I'm the nasty one of our skate crew. So they call me Zit. I don't mind that, but then I am embarrassed about the Forbes award. Can I be honest with you guys? I'm not really a pirate king. Yeah. No, we knew that much. Yeah.

That was just the thing that I said to try to impress you guys. Your intro is going to be that. No. Uh-huh. I was just going to thank Toronto. Is that Paul Stanley? Yeah, that's Paul Stanley. I got my Paul Stanley board back. I'm building it, rebuilding it piecemeal. It fell down that big escalator and Justin's got all the parts.

He's got all the widgets and screws. I've actually got, I got this soundboard. And I was trying to hook it up when you guys started your podcast and the problem, here's the, here's the good things and bad things about it. One, yes. Okay. The bad thing is I don't know what any of the other buttons do. Oh, cool. And I can't hear them.

So I was wondering if you guys could kind of describe to me, and that would help me to sort of figure out what each of these buttons are mapped to. I know they're mapped to something. There's pre-programmed stuff in the here, this here, roadcaster. I like that because I feel like we can, we can kind of meld these two things together where we're trying to find our new identities. Sure. Maybe Justin, you could be like the tech bro.

Yeah. You know, and you do machines. Okay, so you guys just tell me what some of these do. Like, okay, so this is the orange button. Oh, that's a laugh track. That one's laughter. We're going to get a lot of use out of that one. Old-timey laughter at like a movie theater from the 50s.

Going on for a really long time. It's still going. It's going on for a while. Oh man, I'm pushing it to stop it. No, you're just starting it. You're actually starting it over again. Now I'm starting to feel mocked. Okay, what's this one?

Oh, that's sad trombone. Like you tripped and your wiener fell out. Yeah. Okay, great. Now what do we got here? Oh, that was a rim shot. Well, this one's Laura Lenny saying welcome to my brother, my brother and me. Yeah.

So we need to play that one at the beginning of each show. Hey Justin, these are the lowest quality audio files I've ever heard in my entire fucking life. No, that one's decent. Okay, that was good diving. There's one of people clapping and cheering that sounds like it is maybe four kilobytes total in size. Like it would hear a midi file and be like, I wish. Yeah, it makes me think that about the sound of it. We should do our show.

This is, I think, so far unlistenable. No, it's been very good. I'm very excited about this new direction. There was the whole thing about Griffin being Zitt and Justin being the tech bro. Yes. And I think we'll find mine and Griffin's archetypes throughout the course of this episode and this episode alone. You guys got why I was called Zitt, right?

Because I'm a slimy fuck. Yeah, it's so funny. Yeah, because you're a real dirty boy, but not in like a fun, sexy way. Like in a, you maybe haven't bathed in months. Nasty friendly way. Okay, let's do a question maybe. It snowed a silly amount here in the last few days. As I was shoveling my driveway, my next door neighbor, who's a very nice guy,

but someone I don't know terribly well, offered to lend me his snow blower. I declined his generous offer. Generous. No, generous. Okay. His Ellen DeGeneres offer. His generous offer. So generous offer because I just generally feel uncomfortable taking help from people.

Yes. About an hour later, as I was wrapping up the task, the neighbor a few houses down, wheeled over his snow blower, and suggest I take it to finish the task. Since he had already brought it over to me, I could hardly refuse the generosity. This left me with having to do the end of my driveway and the side of all of the snow blower, all of which is very visible, the next door neighbor's living room window. How do I nonchalantly explain my snow blower snubbed the next door neighbor? That's from sorry.

I'd prefer not to be blown in West Des Moines. Yeah, just to be clear. Yeah. Because that didn't track. Next door neighbor offered snow blower. Question answerer said no. And then a different neighbor just went ahead and wheeled one over. Yeah.

So question asker used that one. I mean, you have several outs here. One, you could say an hour of manual shoveling is enough to change a man's mind about so many things. Yeah, I started doing it and I hated it. Yeah. I also think you could just say, well, yours was just words, Frank. Yeah. Like, what was I going to do?

Walk over to your house and get it? Jerry brought it to me. He'd hand the liver to this snow blower. Like, that was a palpable. That was a concrete snow blower that I could see and feel and smell. Your snow blower was what dreams. And I think what you can also say is, what? You thought I was going to use a snow blower on yard snow?

No way. Yard snow is good for shoveling only. You don't use blower on yard snow. That's wild. God gave us shovels just for yard snow. Now, sidewalk snow, you can shoot that with a big gun if you want to. Well, maybe just tell Frank, like, you know, your snow blower was weak and Jerry's snow blower was fleek. He's got a very potent, powerful snow blower.

Sorry, Frank, Jerry doesn't pick his nose. Wait, what? I've seen you doing the dirty deed while you blow snow. You and your friends sit by hanging out picking noses. Yeah, you and Zit have an hangout. That's me. I mean, I'll do a lip trick off a half pipe, but also, you know, dig for some gold in there. But I don't fucking care.

Are you cool but rude? Yeah, so I think that, gosh, you're not, you're not, I'll tell you what stinks, is not knowing your neighbor very well and then having an opportunity arise where you could maybe know your neighbor a little bit better and you just fuck it up completely. And then you're confronted with the reality of, you know, before you're like, I might not ever get to know my neighbor and then this happens and you're like, now I am actively moving away from the reality of knowing my neighbor. Know them less.

Yeah, I know them less. I negative know them at this point. And you know what? I don't want to shame the question asker though, because that impulse would be like, hey, I'd like to offer you something that would help you and your immediate reaction would be like, no, don't worry about it. Yeah, that's exactly the vote. We are in that boat together, my friends.

Look, look to your left. There's me also rowing this boat. Once the person pushed the snowblower, you should have gone back to Frank and said like, all right, give it to me now. I'm going to do Tuesdays. I want to go double fist it, blow all the snow away. Why did you decline? Hey, why did you decline it?

Showing so sucks. Because I think out here in 2019, as we're becoming the monster, I want to really, I want to reexamine that to include like looking at our own behaviors, right? And like embracing who we are as people, but also changing it to make it better. You shouldn't have declined the offer. Showing so sucks. And it's nice to give people the opportunity to help.

Yeah, it makes people feel good. You should just take the snowblower. Here's what I've been doing. This is a powerful phrase. If you're like me and you're like knee jerk responses to always say like, no, thank you. Powerful phrase that you can introduce your legs. Come on. What's this?

No, you know what? Like that, just that phrase will let you 180 on that. That has not told me anything. You can say like, no, thank you. No, you know what? I actually will use the snowblower thing. Like you can immediately turn around on it. Yeah, sure.

Your revelation is waffling on things. That's your bold new direction. I would do the same thing with someone like, hey, do you want to use my snowblower? And I would just immediately say like, no, I got it. Thank you. And in my head, I'm thinking like, what are you doing? Yes. Take the snowblower.

This sucks. And but then I would say like, well, but it's too late now. I already told Frank I don't want to. So then I would say, no, you know what, Frank? I would appreciate the snowblower unless become BFF. Coffee at my place, something like that. You know what I mean? I would say, hey, do you want to use my snowblower?

I say, no, you want to use your snowblower? Here's $20. You want to use my $20? And now we're in a gig economy. I guess what it is. Your neighbor's jealous. Your neighbor saw you didn't use his. And he's very jealous because he wants to get his used by you.

And that's all there is to it. So he came out silently and just started snowblowing your yard with his snowblower like, see, this is good too. And he's very jealous. My clean lines. What you can do, you're out of snow, go in your house. If you have a spice rack, just knock that over to the floor and then call your neighbor over and say, look,

more, more dusty stuff, just ready, ready to get, ready and rare to get blown out of the house. More than pretty. It's just, again, you got to be over there before Frank has even done his own yard and borrow it. Borrow it? You know what? Borrow without him asking next time it snows.

You got to make this up to him. And then ask him if he wants to use your snowblower. And then you get his second grade class to all come to his house and tear up a piece of paper and throw him up in the air. And you're standing there with a new snowblower furnished by Lowe's with a big bow on it. And you're just smiling. And he smiles.

Do you want a yahoo? Yeah, happily. Thank you. Here's one that is sent in by Emma Cant or Kant. Thank you, Emma. It's yahoo answers user. Well, they're anonymous, but I'm going to call them. Bo-bo-ba asks, why don't we eat fruit hot

and microwaved? Thank you. I feel like this might be good. Hot strawberries, grapes, watermelon, pears. We eat spaghetti and pizza hot, so why not fruit? OK, I will. We can play in this space, but they're like, you can grill watermelon and eat it.

People do do that. So I will remove watermelon from the metaphorical plate and we won't discuss what I mean. You could do a fancy preparation of any of these fruits, right? I don't think this question is saying it's impossible to eat these fruits hot and microwaved. The verb microwaved in there, I think, sets the tone of the question.

Of course, you can go to a fancy cuisine restaurant and they'll put some strawberries on some fancy ravioli, whatever the fuck, and cook them up hot, yum. But they're talking about just cash. You pull some grapes out of the freezer, and instead of just popping those little purple candies in your mouth, you change the heat of them a little bit. You get them hot.

You get them hot or warm with the microwaves. I will say, having to say to another human being, the sentence like, oh, don't eat those grapes yet. They need time to cool. It would make me feel like the weirdest pervert in history. Yeah, sure. Don't burn your tongue on that sizzling strawberry. Get the fuck out of the house.

Hey, blow on that strawberry. It's not ready yet. No way. That's to go. Hey, also, if you put grapes in a microwave, I'm pretty sure it makes it explode, like a little explosion. I think they all do.

I'm thinking about all of the fruits you mentioned, the strawberry, the grape, the watermelon. I'm pretty sure we're talking about just a microwave mess. All the watermelon, I bet, would make a big wo-oh accident in the microwave. If you could get a whole one in there. Oh, Boise. That's a bad day.

You got to get out of the house at that point. You're going to just destroy the whole place. But we do. Here's the thing, though. You do eat spaghetti and pizza hot. That's true. That's a great point, Griff. Very salient.

What if we put strawberries on pizza? No. Stop it. Stop it. Why don't we eat dinner? We put mine up on pizza. Let's answer the core question first. Why don't we eat fruit hot and microwaved?

Because we're afraid. But we do. Like, what about cobblers? That's full of hot fruit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Fuck. I'm going to come through this, Mike.

I'm going to come through your sound interface, and I'm going to start striking you. I wouldn't do that to you. You're my brothers, and I love you more than anything. We're not talking about highfalutin' preparations. I take grapes out of the fridge, and instead of just popping them in cold at a picnic, I get them hot in the microwave first,

and now I'm eating grapes, baby. I'm not talking about cooking the grapes. I'm talking about getting the grapes hot, baby. OK? Yeah, you have to do it. I'm not talking about cooked cobblers. I'm talking about pasta. I'm talking about cooking them and getting them hot.

Yeah. Don't know, Justin. You're using fancy words like cook. Riven's saying microwaving them. What's the answer to cooking them and getting them hot? I have to know. It's because it's when you wait. OK, I'll tell you.

I'll tell you. You got leftover fried chicken, right? And you can either eat that hot or you can eat that cold. When you put it in the microwave, you don't say you're cooking fried chicken. You're getting it hot. The grapes are good. You're heating it.

You're heating it. You're on the fucking wrong. You're laughing at me. You're on the wrong fucking side of history right now, and our listeners are going to let you know that. Nobody would say, Justin, what about this ends? Don't eat those grapes. They're raw.

Yeah, nothing. That's nothing. That's nothing. Oh, that's a raw strawberry that you're going to get tummy rot. No. No. So if you microwave, if you dump a couple packets of oatmeal into a bowl,

and he'll put some water in there and then microwave it. All right. Do you say that you are cooking oatmeal? No, you're heating up the oatmeal. You're preparing it. You're preparing it. Preparing it, though. He's like a middle ground.

You mixed ingredients there. OK, so that is cooking. This is the fucking tech. Justin's so far outside of the space that Travis and I have one and a half bouncy castles because Justin's abandoned his, and we're taking turns sharing it. And that's fine, Justin.

So let's, I guess, just dial into this. Why don't we cook grapes in the microwave and eat them? You fucking fascist. If that's really what you want to limit the discourse down to, that's fine. Why don't we cook and eat grapes after putting them in the microwave first? OK, why don't we microwave steak?

Why don't we microwave bread? No, Justin, we do. Like, it's nonsense. If I have a steak that I, maybe I have some leftover sirloin from the night before, I would pop that into the microwave and heat it up a little bit if I just want to naun it, maybe a late night snack, like, of steak.

Is that for when you transform into a living dog and you have something to nosh on in your bowl? Of course. Like, why? That's not food of human would eat. For real? Do you all see that in cartoons where they give a dog a big, raw piece of meat and you're like, na, na, na, na, na, na.

That's probably not good, right? Now, cook that. I can't be good. Why don't you like your dog? Are they giving him a whole chicken to eat or some shit? Don't do that. Or Fred Flintstone's about to eat just a big, raw leg of a dinosaur bud.

I always felt that that was the weirdest part in a Flintstone's cartoon, when Fred Flintstone would chase after a brownie source and catch it and just tear into its raw flesh. And just start eating to get in its legs, yeah. So, Justin, why don't we eat hot grapes, though? If you put a bunch of fruit in the microwave in a cup, OK, and then put some yogurt and granola on top.

Fuck. Oh, you got a nice little breakfast going. You're, are you saying hot, hot berries? That recipe was in the Washington Post. This is not hiding, you know, this is, this is right there out in front of us. Put some hot berries in my, in my parfait. Saying hot berries.

Hey, Justin. Yeah. You've been around this block for a while, and I know that. Hot berry block? No, stop it. Listen, let me play. Let me play at you.

If you're not going to play with me, let me play at you. You've eaten grapes, yes? Yeah, I would. I would say throughout the fullness of time of your life, you've probably eaten a lot of grapes, not, you know, maybe not the average, maybe not more than the average. Not an obscene amount?

No, no, no. I would say right down the fucking middle. Right down the fucking middle. And what's the process? Yeah, go ahead, paint me a little word picture of you sitting in the living room, you decide you want some grapes, and then just sort of walk me through the whole process.

Up to you, child-achooing and swallowing the grapes. So go ahead. Okay, so I would get that. And hey, don't play with funny times, because it's me playing at you. You get to be Mr. Serious fucking Ben Stein over there. But I'm going to be like having fun, so you don't know jokes.

I would, I would, I would go to the refrigerator. I would take out, I'm sorry, I said refrigerator. I would go to the refrigerator. I would take out a bag with grapes, and then I would get a bowl, and I would put a bunch of the grapes off the stem. I would give them kind of a rinsy rinse. Got to, got to.

Got to, got to do that. And then I would just proceed to chomping. Now, Justin, let me ask you, I do have an important qualifier there just before Griffin jumps in with his point. When you rinse them, cold water or hot water, cold water. Okay, I'm glad that you've,

you've filled that out for me, Trap. And then Justin, so you've done this quite a few times, yes, you would say? Just a regular, the regular amount. And you tell me now, how many outlier times you have done it, where you've then take the grapes and you put them in the microwave

before eating them? Please now tell me yes. How many times, a number, exact estimation, whatever, you can get it to, please, thank you. It probably done. And so, and so yes, my follow-up question to that would be, why?

Justify yourself, Justin. Well, I mean, the floor is yours. Was the question about grapes? Why? Was it about fruit? No, you have made it about grapes. By your actions, it is now about grapes. And Justin, I would take it even further

and say that none of those times when you have consumed grapes, did you even ever think you weren't making the choice not to put it in the microwave? I don't even think the microwave even ever occurred to you because you're scared.

I just didn't, I like them cold. Why? Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess. Okay. Where I'm at is I like them cold. Well, I like diet Pepsi, but I drink other stuff too.

So, I guess if you're just not, this is the worst we've ever done on a question, because from the moment it was introduced into our lives, Justin wanted to throw it right out into the river. Justin, who's the coolest celebrity in your estimation? Coolest project, Goldblum.

Okay. If Jeff Goldblum took to Instagram and did like a live thing on Instagram, where he like as he was answering questions, nonchalantly microwaves them grapes and started eating them. They didn't make a big deal. Didn't make a big deal.

It wasn't a big deal. The stream wasn't about that. It was just the thing he was doing as he answered questions. Do you think it would take off? Maybe. All right. Pretty sure these things are bad for your microwave, folks.

Don't do this as a joke for home. Pretty sure. But if you have done it before, do you tweet at Justin McElroy? About the hot grapes. Boy, I bet a hot grape though, if you want to talk about a dangerous foodie, because you have no idea what the temperature

is going to be in there. And it's just a little like hot water balloon. Like it's all it is hot water inside of it that's going to burn your mouth real bad. Sure. It's full of hot water. How about another question? Okay.

My roommate recently bought a new value pack, eight rolls of paper towels, because it ran out. Hell yeah. Wait, was that about the value pack or the running out? Hell yeah. It's about the value pack.

There's nothing. Okay. Wait, hold on. When I went to use the first roll, I discovered that I hate these paper towels. Hell no, actually. Turns out they're weirdly soft and don't rip well off the roll

and kind of make my skin crawl when I touch them. And they're made of human flesh. How do I use up all the paper towels so that I can excuse buying a new pack from a better brand? Specifically, maybe a solution that doesn't implicate me for just wasting a bunch of trees.

That's from damp in D.C. I get it. I get it. Life's too short to put bad stuff on your bum. It ain't worth it. It ain't worth it. Now, this is paper towels. So I don't know what kind of grizzly monster you are.

Oh, listen, y'all. Listen, y'all. Sometimes you're desperate. You run out of the toilet, bro. I'm just, I don't want to get gross. I don't want to get blue. I know we get blue in this show, but I don't want to get too blue

because it can scare people off. But let's just say, I'm a brawny man. Oh. Hey, have you guys ever noticed that toilet paper is T.P. and paper towels are P.T.? Never thought about it. Yeah, I think I thought a lot.

This is tough. You know what I have run afoul of? I feel like that could have been a great chance for you to use your soundboard, Justin. Thank you. I feel like the thing that I really despise is when the paper towels, you know, the selector size where it's like half a paper towel

or a regular paper towel or a massive paper towel or like four segments. It doesn't matter. I got two roles that weren't like that recently. And that was heartbreaking to me because it's a lot more, I end up using a lot more paper towel than I would ever want to use.

That, and that makes me really sad for the environment and stuff. And there's people in other countries, like I think maybe England and stuff, that don't even use these, these motherfuckers. No, I get it. They just take them out or they never use them?

They never use them. They're losing their minds over there. Hey, what about use those paper towels to write your manifesto? That could be fun. And so that way like you unroll it as you're writing and then you roll it back up and you're like, no, no, no, we can't use these to clean up that spill.

It's me manifesto. That's one possibility. I mean, there's always the mummy game. Oh yeah. But then you don't want to waste it Griffin. I think me having a great afternoon with all my friends playing mummy, role playing our favorite brain and phraser film,

Mummy 2, The Mummy Returns, I don't think is a waste of it, Travis, just because I haven't used it to sop up, you know, some piss. Okay. I have a question. Once again, wait, hold on. What? It's all paper.

Why are you guys being such dingleberries about? It's all, it's paper. It's paper, paper, paper, paper. The cleaning paper. Did you buy eight rolls of paper towels that you hate? Or did you buy a small mattress that you hate? It could be one of those, either one of those too. Maybe you could use them to clean up spills around town,

just out and about. That way you're not wasting them. But you're not like, oh, next time there's an oil spill, you're on it. Yep. Yep. I'm here. I've got all these paper towels.

What about? Here they are if you need them. Give me half of one pelican. I got this. What if for a while you're just the person that shows up at parties with a roll of paper towels? Yes. And you say, I brought napkins.

I brought my own. I get super sloppy. Leave me alone. Ooh, what if they're very practical, like house warming slash birthday gifts? Yeah. That's a bad one. That's bad.

Because that one's bad. That one's bad. There's no bad ideas except for that. It's the first bad idea. What if it's the world's most comfortable telescope? Yeah, that's another possibility. At least effective. At least effective.

It's so easy to hold with all this cushioning. I mean, I'll go ahead and say the one's so obvious that we're not even saying it. Eight paper towel rolls. You can catch a lot of frogs with that main paper towel rolls. I get it. Wait, what are you? But you can catch a lot of them tasty

froggies with eight paper towel rolls, I think. Go through a forest and know how to get back out. That's good. I actually like that. Yeah. Maybe use them to denote the end of a race so people can run through them and break up. That's good.

You can make little ends of races everywhere. And that can be fun. I mean, you could take them to Washington, DC and just use to clean up the act of a lot of the people there that are supposed to be representing us. But I think we can all agree are doing a pretty piss poor job doing it. And all that piss is just begging

to be sopped up with these eight paper towels. If you get the... Boat Gryffindor Mackerel 2020 clean up the piss. Trying to become a new political cartoonist. And that's sort of my first strip that I'm going to pitch to newspaper. Washington, DC. More like Washington, P.P.

Yeah, and it's me and then you see me and I'm running with eight big bad paper towel rolls. No, no, no. I want to hear more Travis's. He's got shit. Well, he writes the words. I draw the illustrations. Gryffindor does the images and I do the captions.

Yeah, so give me another one, Travis. I really only have that one really good one. More like Washington, Dukie. Yeah. And so in this one, I'm in a big airplane and I'm dropping the toilet paper down like bombs onto... It's a Capitol Hill, but it's also poop emoji. Oh, are you seeing?

What if at your local grocery store, the next few times that someone reached to buy paper towels, there was just you appearing like an avenging angel. I know, no, no, no, no need. I've got a free roll for you. Okay. And then it's their problem. And then they feel so guilty

because you made such a big fucking deal out of it that they don't even feel comfortable buying the paper towels that they really want. All right, but let's walk through this step by step, Justin. Say you're at the produce aisle. I am a big, soon to be warmed up box of grapes. And you're looking at those seriously. You're looking at the price, looking at the unit price

and trying to figure out if you can make space in your fridge and in your life for these grapes. And then a stranger comes up and says, don't take those grapes. Take these grapes for me for free. What's the first thought that's going to enter into your mind? Poison.

No. They're poison. No. No. It's going to be... That's not... This person just picked up another box of grapes in the store and said,

they're wonderful free grapes that I can just take out of the store. This is a good... This is a fun trap, right? It's like getting everybody more comfortable with shoplifting by... You're looking at paper towels. I walk up and I say, no, not those paper towels.

And I reach over and pick up other paper towels. And I say, these ones are free. And I hand it to them. I had an experience. This is not my serial podcast, The Empty Bowl. You can find that on iTunes. But this is a serial anecdote on a non-serial podcast. I was at a local big box cursory store.

And they offered me a sample of banana nut frusser flakes. And they put it in a little cup and they handed it to me. And I ate one of the flakes. I was like, I'm going to get good. Is what I said to the lady. And she said, do you want milk? And I was like, yeah, I guess I do.

And so I thought she was going to pour me like a little shot glass of milk to go with my... No. She takes my sample cup back and then pours milk into my tiny minuscule sample cup of the cereal. And then hands me a very tiny spoon. And hands it back to me, all proud of herself. So they're not just standing there in the middle of the aisle

looking like so sort of stupid giant. Eating this tiny, tiny bowl of cereal. Like, very good. Thanks for this little tiny bowl, lady. And I was unimpressed with the flavor. So take that. Hey, let's get... Can we go to the Money Zone just real quick?

Yeah. I would like to tell you about Blue Apron. We here in the McRoy Collective Household are huge fans of the Meal Service boxes. The big, in the big boat we all live in together. In this big McRoy boat. And gosh, do I ever love Blue Apron? Because everything comes right there in the box.

And you know what? I remember being in college and getting like frozen meals and that kind of stuff, which, you know, nothing wrong with those, I guess. But this is everything right there that you need. And when you make it, you feel like accomplished. Like, because you really cooked it. You're making it yourself from ingredients.

It's impressive. And it's delicious. They offer creative and mouth-watering options designed to fit any table. There are some options here in February of pork chorizo burgers and roasted potatoes, spicy soy glazed chicken thighs, crispy chickpea grain bowl, garlic caper chicken.

I can honestly say, I don't think I've ever had a Blue Apron that I didn't thoroughly enjoy. And you can check it out this week's menu. Oh, I should say, basically, you get a box that contains and it's got stuff in it, three meals. Yeah, it's got stuff, pictures and what have you. And you can check out this week's menu and get $60 off at bluapron.com slash mybrother.

That's bluapron.com slash mybrother. Blue Apron, a better way to cook. So say you have a business or two and you need to hire one or maybe 200,000 employees because your new business is the biggest one ever. It's Amazon too and you're so excited to really beat Jeff Bezos' ass right into the ground. And you need to get some employees

and you need these guys fucking yesterday. You need these folks just with a quickness. Well, let me tell you what you're going to do. You're going to go to- I'm not describing my exact situation, Griffin. That's so good. So you're going to, Travis, you're going to want to go to Zip Recruiter

because it's the place where you go that makes hiring simple, fast and smart. They send your job to over 100 of the web's leading job boards but that's not all they do. Why? Because if that's all they did, it would be bullshit. It's not. They also have powerful matching technology

that they can use to scan thousands of resumes like Skynet and find people with the right experience and invite them to apply to your job. And the other people who don't have the right experience, they get nuked. Whoa, like Skynet. By Skynet. Zip Recruiter is so effective that 80% of employers

who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day and the other 20%, they also get nuked. Signing up for Zip Recruiter and being effective is the only way to survive the nuclear apocalypse. Listen, you're flipping a five-sided coin. One of those sides, it's got a big mushroom cloud on it. The other four sides has a new recruit for you

that is going to do your business just perfect. Right now our listeners can try Zip Recruiter. We should say that nowhere in this copy does it say anyone gets nuked, but Griffin is reading between the lines because it's pretty obvious if you look at what it says that they're hinting at this. Our listeners can try Zip Recruiter and this grand roulette

for free at this exclusive web address, ZipRecruiter.com slash mybrother, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash mybrother. Zip Recruiter, the smartest and deadliest way to hire. Shouldn't say that. Zip Recruiter, they probably want you to do it. Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire.

And then it says in parentheses, not all will survive. No, it doesn't say that in parentheses. I think I'm reading between the lines. There's no pair. There's no lines. There's no lines. It's in brackets. Hi, I'm Joe Firestone.

And I'm Manolo Moreno. And we're the hosts of Dr. Game Show, which is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners regardless of quality or content within studio guests and callers from all over the world. And you can win a custom magnet. A custom magnet. Subscribe now to make sure you get our next episode.

What's an example of a game, Manolo? Pokemon or medication. How do you play that? You have to guess if something's a Pokemon name for medication. Medication. First time listener. If you want to listen to episode highlights and also know how to participate,

follow Dr. Game Show on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. We'd love to hear from you. Yeah, it's really fun. For the whole family. We'll be every other Wednesday starting March 13th, and we're coming to Max Fun. Snorlax. Pokemon?

Yes. Nice. I would love it if you all could join me for... I'm really struggling about this because it... I was going to go Munch Squad. Okay. But it has nothing to do with food at all. It's just a press release.

But it is so challenging that I am going to go ahead and bring it to y'all, and I hope that you'll join me for it. And this is not necessarily a segment, and it's kind of outside the bounds of what we normally do, but it's so challenging that I would like to present it to you, my brother. Could it not be Munch Squad Junior, maybe?

Or how about Crunch Squad? No. I mean, you need to listen to me. It has nothing to do with food. Oh, okay. Could you slip just some references to food, even if it's just side jokes that you make? And can I ask why you found this?

Yeah. I mean, it came into my inbox by someone saying... Someone tweeted it to me quite rightly and said, this is a Munch Squad that has nothing to do with food. Okay. Okay. And I was like, yeah, you're right. It is somehow.

And this is not going to be... I'm not expanding the scope of this very important segment. I'm just saying this is where we're at right now. This is a one-off. This is a one-off. This is a press release for Megan Trainor's new album. And also the new Quick Service restaurant she's opening. No, it has nothing to do with food.

Okay. Again, I can't stress this enough. Valentine's Day is around the corner. And whether you're planning on smashing Bay's junk to smithereens or making out with a pint of fish food, you need some fresh Valentine's Day bops. I don't know if you hung up. No, I'm here.

I'm just challenged by it. If someone came up to me and I mean, let's assume that I wasn't in a loving, committed relationship, or even if I was, if a loving, committed partner came up to me and said, I want to smash your genitals to smithereens. Yeah. Just goosh, turn them into goo.

That sounds terrible. It seems like there's going to be a lot to this. So let's see if we can let Justin get through a little bit more before we stop him. You need Valentine's Day bops to get you in the mood for love. And Megan Trainor's got you covered with her new EP, The Love Train. You know you want it. And you can freaking get it, bitch. Whoa, whoa.

On all digital platforms right here. I want that to be followed up with, you know what? I came in pretty hot there. What I meant to say was. That's cool. Our jets a little bit. Anyway, you may know me for my old sound. It's evolved a little bit.

And I'm excited about the new opportunities that brings. Now, anyway, bring your genital triangle over here and set it on the corner of this table. Thank you. I'm about to blast it. We know you want to hear songs about all the hot Newlywood sex. Megan and Daryl Sabera are having. Oh, I don't.

And they spelled, spelled B, B, A, E. And I guess. Do you guys want to know about? Do you guys want to know about the hot Newlywood sex that Megan Trainor is having with the kid from Spy Kids? Oh, yes, now. Yes. Oh, wait, what?

This way. Yes. Yes. That's who she married. Yeah. It says here on this press release. Megan's seducing your ears this V-Day. And, you know, she knows a thing or two about romance.

Unless your phone's been broken for a hot minute, you know that Megan just got married to the ginger from Spy Kids. What? And trust us when I say, when we say girl is feeling the love. She took a break from her busy schedule to record some fire tracks in Los Angeles. Alongside frequent collaborators and producers. It doesn't matter.

We know you want to hear songs about all the hot Newlywood sex. Megan and Daryl Sabera are having. Did you see what we did there? What they did there for the record is turn the Bay in Mr. Sabera's name into B-A-E. You just called the kid from Spy Kids, Mr. Sabera. Handle that. All right.

I'm sorry. Dr. Sabera, which is why you'll love the banging single All The Ways. Billboard was wet for All The Way. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Billboard got wet for All The Ways. No, no, no, no. Another fun, danceable track to fall in love with.

And would Billboard lie to you, girl? Holy shit. Would Billboard lie to you, girl? This outlet cannot become wet. This outlet cannot become wet. The outlet can't be wet. But perhaps the piste de resistance that's French for wig snatch. It's not not.

It's not. Is marry me. A romantic acoustic guitar hanging there, folks. You cannot fucking backpedal this. You just said a magazine got wet. Just they know what, you know what? You're going to be impressed. You're going to be impressed.

You know what? You're about to feel what you're about to feel is being impressed. It's a romantic acoustic guitar and ukulele-tinged all fest, which delivers all the feels and then more feels. So they did actually bring it back to absolutely disgusting. Just in a different way. Is the all fest going to get me wet? I'm having a hard time.

I'm following the metaphor. It's no metaphors. It's just words and letters and images and time. It's a ukulele-tinged off. Oh, my God. I can't fucking say it again. All fest, which delivers all the feels and then more feels. It's one of the feels.

It feels wet. Megan wrote the song 30 days after meeting Daryl, and it was so good that she walked down the aisle to it. We know that's a little bit hashtag-vom-worthy, but also am I chopping onions right now, or are those tears rolling down my face? I'm not crying. You're crying.

I am actually chopping onions. You're actually wrong. My eyes are wet. My eyes are getting wet. My eyes are just moist. Yeah. I'm still thinking about all the ways that you and the spy kid man, I guess, now are making love.

The spy man and you are making love, and I guess all the ways, and just hearing that makes my eyes glisten. I would like to say, I don't want to just gloss over that Megan Trainor wrote, produced, recorded a song that then she walked down the aisle to her own self. I fucked that. That's powerful.

That's fucking fresh as hell. That's fucking fresh as hell. That's great. I know. It's so sad that Megan Trainor, who I think rules, is saddled with this. Anyway, moving on, unless she wrote it herself, which would be hysterical, as always,

our Grammy-winning diamond single having Queen didn't just come to play. She came to slay. She's littering left and right. Get out of here. She's serving vocals. Like, yeah, I'd hope so. On the passionate Celine Dion-esque power ballad after you.

Now, Celine Dion, there's a singer that can get a magazine wet. Oh, yeah. And can make a hell of a quick service restaurant. You guys are such cowards because you're trying to break up the delivery of this poison with your James and the hilarity. You need to just buckle in, okay? Let me get through this, please. Let me get through this.

Okay. She's serving vocals on the passionate Celine Dion-esque power ballad. This is the most insane thing that's ever been in press releases. And I just, I just, I read a lot of press releases. And the turn this press release takes, it's really, it's really challenging. And I am so sorry about putting this press release into y'all's heads because I've been, I was actually woken up at 3 a.m. last night by my daughter and unable to fall back asleep because I kept recounting

several choice segments of this entire press release. But this is the one that, one of the more challenging segments. Megan's serving your insatiable thirst for dance ready bops with the upbeat banger that is foolish. It's slapped so hard, you'll be standing for days. Whoa. My feet would get tired. Whoa.

Like from, like it slapped my bottom so hard I can't sit down. It's slapped so hard, you'll be standing. Is that what they did to billboard? Sorry, no, bud. Standing, S-T-A-N-N-I-N-G for days. That's how you, that's proper usage of that, right? Just you stand for certain amounts of time and then see standing after you enjoy something deeply.

And then there's a quote in the same paragraph. And the quote is this. As if all the PDA, including foot massages, butterfly kisses, and piggyback rides aren't cringe worthy enough, says her brother and videographer, Ryan. I've got to film it all. Whoa, whoa, wait, what? What?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's the same guys, it's the same guys, it's the same paragraph. She's got this dope track, better than Celine Dion. She's going to slap your ass so hard with her one dance track that you'll never be able to sit down for the rest of your life. I have to watch them kiss and it's my job, says her brother. And Megan makes me film them kissing. Hey, Justin, I just, Justin, I'm very successful now as a pop artist

and I wanted to hire you into my entourage so that you basically never have to work again, except for me, one thing though. One little thing. You will have to film my sensual selections with my lover. Film me with my lover. Anyway, choo choo, choo choo, bitch. It says B-E-T-C-H, you tell me how to say it.

You tell me how that says, said. You say it, B-E-T-C-H. I'm not going to say it. This, this, this press release has no power over me. Choo choo, bitch. The love trade is leaving the station and you better get on board. Now you're threatening me. Get, get on board or, or, um, I actually,

could I vote for the sweet release of being crushed under its wheels? Is that an option? I mean, here's the thing though. I'm sure the album is the slap. I have no doubt about it. There's, there's probably some good tunes on here. It doesn't make, I don't need to know that your brother filmed you kiss and I don't want to hear about your sensual make out session

with a magazine that got it all moist. Yep. Or with the, with your, with your husband. And I'm not here to shame you for that. I just, I wasn't previously curious about it before this press release had entered my life. And as I find my way, you know, on the off ramp of this press release, I gotta say, I still kind of am not curious about it.

Thank you very much. Oh, by the way, all the ways, the video for all the ways, is a song that she sings asking a guy to tell her all the ways in which he loves her. And it's not about all the different ways that the lady from all about that bass and the ginger from spy kids are doinking. It's not about that.

As far as I can tell, the video probably features, features a man sized teddy bear. I don't know what to say about this. Wouldn't it be like, I would, I think it would be funny to hear a song in which they're saying you're just listed all the different ways that they and their partner had had sex. I'm watching this video right now. They're in a bus.

They're walking down Dark New York City Street. What was it? What was that? Hold on. There was like a flash frame. I'm running it back. It's around two minutes. Yeah.

She's finger blasting the shit out of that bear. You're wrong, Justin. So you want a yahoo? Yes. I have a yahoo here that was sent in by Sid Ross. Thank you, Sid. It's a yahoo and surge user. They're anonymous.

I'm going to call them, I'm going to call this Megan trainer asks, can a self-driving car get its own job as a taxi or Uber and live a life of its own? Oh, I like that final twist there at the end. Yeah, I didn't see that coming. I know that it can't write. It's programmed to do a certain thing, right? But then it's just cruising down the cold Chicago streets and it pulls over, you know, gets stopped at a stoplight on, you know, State Street and just a dude runs in and

opens up the back door and hops in and is like, 20 bucks if you take me up to the big bean, baby, because that's how they all talk up there. It's fucking wild. And then the car is like, that's not normally what I do, but okay. And it drives up and it takes the money. And now this car, robot, driving robot has $20 to spend. And I think at this point, like, is thinking, having some thoughts that are maybe a little off the grid.

I personally welcome the idea of robot lift drivers, because it would be nice to know when I get in the car that I won't have to explain what a podcast is after they ask me right to. Yeah, that's so fun. Yeah, that the robot would be like, podcasts are my blood. Like I run on podcast energy. I don't know what you're talking about, Travis. I'm a line cook in a hotel. What, the robot?

No, that's sort of my go to. Oh, I see. Good job. Nice. I'll stop. Are those crickets? Those are the worst fucking sounding crickets I've ever heard in my entire life. That sounds like a fully cricket that some dude in a studio in 1930 is making by rubbing

two nails together or something. I don't know why the clip has to be so long. Okay, it's finally over. Sorry. It's like, it's a cricket sound effect that's so long that after it gets the desired effect, it actually needs another cricket sound to come in after it because it went on so long that no one's laughing anymore. So it's like a recursive, a recursive cricket sound effect.

So can this happen? Probably not. You want a different one? I just want to send it by Emily. Thank you, Emily. It's on. I'm going to see how you answer your user. What are you supposed to do with that big bean?

Yeah. I've seen the bean. I wish I wanted to just stand there with a chart and write on the chart what people do once they've reached the bean that they traveled to. Well, you can go inside and take the same picture everybody takes or you can do what I do. Grease on up and try to climb on top of the thing. How do you grease? To make it harder.

To get the challenge up. Anybody can climb on top of the thing. I went skydiving. I went rocking mountain climbing. Climbed up that dumb bean and it was greased up all the way. Here's one from Emily. Emily sent it in. Thanks, Emily.

It's from Yahoo Answers user Maddie who asks, I need 50 words to describe birds visually. Let me know what words come up when you think of how birds look. I'm just going to start a count, I guess. Saw. Wait, do you have to actually have a counter? I'll get the calculator open and I'll just press plus, press one. Actually do one plus one and then you press equal.

Equals every time. I think that could work. No, it just keeps saying two because maybe it's a different calculator. Maybe something, are you giving me cash marks on a piece of paper? I'm trying to have a counter app. I have a scammy counter. I can take a step every time we say. This is good because I'll buy us some time to think of good bird words.

I'm going to write, let me write down here. Okay, I got it, I got it, I got it. Okay. All right. Okay, I'm ready. Just start firing them off and I don't think we should go in order. I think you should just. Oh, okay.

You actually fucked up with the first one. Beak. I mean, it describes a bird visually, technically, if you think about it. Yeah, do you want me to describe a beak? Because that wasn't the challenge. Okay, listen, we're only one in. We got 49 to go, so we can't quibble this much on all of them. But I'm going to say no more anatomical terms because otherwise then that could just be the whole thing.

Okay, pretty. Up. Did you say up? Yes. That's three. God, guys, we have 47 to go. This is going to last fucking forever. I thought for sure we'd be done.

I'm saying flappy. Flappy. A loft. Worms, because they usually have worms in their mouth. Oh, okay. Hoppy. That was a bad one, but it's on the list. They hop.

Betailed. Betailed. I like it. But winged. That's 10. Befeathered. Yeah, all right. We can't know.

That's it for the bees. So are V1s. Blue. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Hold on. Now we're up to 12.

Red, yellow, white, gray. That's 16. That covers most of the bird colors like families. Squawky. Squawky's good. I would say just blank it. Number 18, just noisy. Noisy.

Wait, is this? What is the question? Describe birds usually. Minus one. Okay, so squawk. Minus one. Okay, red 16, red 16. Okay, beady eyed, but it's hyphenated.

Okay, we'll accept it. Intimidating. Nice. Inspiring. Okay. Threat. No, we already said intimidating. Harbingers.

Harbingers is a noun. Yeah, minus one. Harbinges. And not visual. And not. Harbinges. Okay, and we're back up to 20. Okay.

Unnerving. Unnerving. Shitty. Okay, I like that. You think birds as a whole look shitty? I think they can be. I think birds can look shitty. Okay, sexy.

Elegant. Goofy. Mysterious. We're at 26, boys. We were past the halfway point. What about this? Horny. Yeah, that bird looks horny.

It looks horny. Well, yes, you see the two birds, and they have their wings way out, and they're just like walking towards another bird's ass. Like, that bird's ready to fog. Let me see, how about this one? Delicious. That bird looks delicious.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great point. It's small. Kickable. No. No. Wait, we can go with delicious, but not kickable? No, because it's mean, and it's too edgy,

and it's too- Hugable. Spencer's Gifts. Hugable will allow. I would like to hug an ostrich. A big bird. Two, we're at 30 right now. Can we do two words together,

and it could just be my pet? Yeah. Because they can be my pet. They look like your pet. My savior. My pet is 31 and 32. You say my savior? I did, yes.

33, 34. Everybody gets a two-word one. Mine's my pet. Travis did my savior, and Justin, what's your two-word one? My immortal. My immortal gets us up to 36. We love these birds.

Half angel. Nope, is it hyphenated? Yes. It doesn't make sense. We're still at 36. Chris angel. I'm torn on that one. I could go either way.

Birds don't look like Chris Angel. Chris Angel can sometimes look like a bird. He can turn into nine birds, but that's not... I don't think that visually describes birds as much as it generally describes Chris Angel and his abilities. We are still at 36.

I'm going to say biblical. Okay. They look biblical? Yeah, just like you see a dove, and you're like, there's one in Jesus's. Good friends. Deliverers. No, man, you don't know what adjectives are.

Let's stop. Let's stop. Let's stop. We're at 37. I feel like we're going to get really chunked up here if we don't get back to basics real quick. Beaked. Yes.

Beaked. We already got beaked. I think we got beaked. I think I feel like we're missing... What about like extant? Yeah, like they're there. Corporal. Corporal.

Look there. They look not transparent and not translucent. Opaque. Opaque. Yeah, birds are opaque. Those birds are opaque. Can I hit you with this one? Birds.

Oh, okay. Now I feel like that's describing birds in one word. But see, that's good. What's good about that one is that it does describe birds look like birds. But also, if somebody just finds this list sitting on the street, they're going to kind of know what we're talking about when they get to birds.

I mean, it is number 41, so they're going to be confused up to that. But when they see birds, it's like the secret codex. Let me see what you guys think about this one. Toronto! Like the Blue Jets. Toronto Blue Jets is 42. Now here's my question.

Maybe the last three words Griffin, because it didn't say we can't use punctuation, can just be, you know, birds? And it's just, you know, comma, birds, question mark? No, we already done our compound once. We already said they're birds. We have eight words left, and these are our home stretch,

and we really got to make them count. We've gone really long in this recording, but this is an important thing now. Hungry. Sorry, you both over spoke. Okay. Now I want to hear Travis's first. I'll go second.

Hungry. Birds do can look hungry. Yes. Birds do can look hungry. Paternal. Paternal. How? Just because they're on the nest.

Just like it would be a good dad. Okay. Oh, I've got it. Thieving. Oh, I like that. Is show off one word? Vane is a word. Vane's an adjective.

Vane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about this? We're getting, now guys, you guys, just now stop. Hold on. We got four left. So I don't want them to be slams on birds.

I want the last four to be good words about birds. Can I give you this one? Avuncular. What's that mean? Like unto an uncle, a nature that is like an uncle, an uncle style nature. So wait, you're saying you would look at a bird and say, I would let that bird maybe like hang out with my daughter

who would be its niece. That bird could be my dad's brother. Okay. Yeah. That bird I would go to a baseball game with. I'm not going to put that one on the list. Okay. That's fair.

You know what? That one may have been too far. 46. Did we say delicate? Delicate. Yeah, we'll allow that. Yeah. I did.

We said up, right? Pretty early. Yeah. What about zany? Because they look so funny. Yeah, they can be funny. Zany. I think they said veiny.

Or 48. They can be veiny. That's 49. Okay. We got one word left. So let's make it count. And you know, we may have a few here and have to like pick the top contender.

I'm going to, if we haven't said it before, proud. I think I'm almost certain we've done that one. How about this one? Eggs. Well, a round. Well, we kind of did a whole round of they exist. I feel like a round just kind of acknowledges their existence again.

Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs is bad. Yeah. Well, because birds used to be dinosaurs. Yeah, but they ain't now. About pointless. That's so mean. I mean, what have they done for me lately?

Okay. How about how about shirt ruiners? I think shitty because that covers a lot. I already did shitty. Pay attention. God, we've been in this bit for too long. We need a fiftieth word. Just give them the fiftieth word.

Beak. No, we did be the beginning, although I do like that. I do like it coming around like that. Yeah, I like the, we'll call them beacons. What about, oh, I got it. Oh, wait a minute. What do I got? Oh, I got it.

What about presidential? That's pretty good. What about hyphenated? The end. And that could be, yeah, if we turn the list into the teacher will know that that's where it finished. I love that. That's so good.

All right. That's 50. Thanks, folks. Thanks, folks. We've had a great time with you this week on my brother, my brother, me. We hope you've enjoyed yourself as well. You're always so nice to us and listen to our podcast and stuff.

And we just think that that's real swell of you. We just think the world of you guys. All things considered. I think it's really nice that you listen to our podcast. And I also think it's really nice that you listen to all things considered. Yeah. Thank you.

They really need your support now more than ever. We're doing some live shows coming up April 2nd, 3rd, and 4th in San Jose, California and Salt Lake City, Utah. You can get tickets for those at McRoy.family and then click on tours there. And actually the San Jose ones sold out so quickly. We had to open up new tiers of the theater, like new levels and balconies and stuff.

So there are more tickets available. So if you tried to get those tickets a couple days ago and weren't able to, try again because we put some more on sale. So go check that out. McRoy.family and click on tours. And while you're at McRoy.family, you can check out all our other shows. You can check out like YouTube videos and stuff we've done there. And you can check out our merch page and see all the awesome stuff we have on sale there.

Yeah, a lot of things. McRoy.family. And thanks to John Rodgerick and the Long Winters for the Use of Our Theme Song and to Departure off the album Putting the Days to Bed. It's a very good song. Very good album that you should totally have by now. And also thanks to Maximum Fun for having us on the network.

Go to maximumfun.org. Check out all the great shows there. It's a bunch of new shows. Just add it to the lineup like Mission to Zix. And you know, old favorites. Like stop podcasting yourself all at maximumfun.org. Uh, is that gonna do it for us? I think so.

Here's a final one. It was sent by Merritt Palmer. Thank you, Merritt. It's Yahoo Answers user Henry who asks, Who out there hates BMW or Mercedes like me? I hate those cars with a potion. My name is Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy.

I'm Griffin McRoy. He's been my brother, my brother to me. Kiss your dad. School way on the lips. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.

I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorn. And justice is within your reach. My mom refuses to take my phone calls. My boyfriend says I should take our cats with me to graduate school, but I think he should keep them. In the court of Judge John Hodgman, justice rules. My partner's board game collection is out of control. My sister won't stop stealing my clothes.

I'm Judge John Hodgman. I'm tough, but fair. I'll bring you justice, and I'm only a click away. Tipping. Automotive etiquette. Siblings. Roommates. If you've got a case, go to maximumfun.org.

Slash J-J-H-O. Judge John Hodgman is tough, but fair. Subscribe to the podcast today. Judge John Hodgman rules. That is all.