My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 487: Frasier Crane’s Anime Dreamscape

Episode Date: November 25, 2019

Step inside the mind of the mind-reader himself (who is Frasier) as we pitch our bold new vision for Frasier. In this one, Frasier’s getting nasty, and we’re not willing to negotiate on that point, so don’t bother asking. Suggested talking points: Guiding Lights, Donuts with Morrie, Frasier’s World, Reach for the Stars, Fumanji Jizz Mist, Eight Words a Day, A Call from the Dogman

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother. My brother made an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. I believe that children know our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Hi, it's local inspiration, Justin McElroy. I am here sort of as a podcaster, but now I feel like I've entered my twilight years as an entertainer and have now transitioned to sort of a sherpa. A guiding light. A guiding light, a sherpa through these waters that we call podcast. You know sherpas don't lead people through water, right? I'm a water sherpa. If Jimmy Buffett can make a beer called Land Shark, I can make a water sherpa. I am joined in the studio today by a young boy, a young local team who I've taken in off the streets to shadow me and see how I do it. If you say you brought him in from the street, it makes this sound like almost an Oliver. Did he seek you out or did you call him and you caught

him? I gave him my address and he came in from the street through the front door to the house. You didn't like find him, you know, filch and handkerchiefs or whatever and you're giving him a better life. No, I saw him trying to sell people his underwear and I said, kid, you got something, you got the gift, you got the talent. Did his parents suddenly and tragically die in a big acrobat accident and now you are the one, now he's your ward, it's one of those situations. Yes, they died in a tragic acrobat accident and then what he said was, Mr. McRoy, if my parents had been able to fall on the most comfortable hybrid mattresses on the market, they would have been fine and I said, kid, you got it. You got the goods. You can't teach that, Justin. It's good stuff.

I've got somebody in the studio too that I'm shadowing me doing and he's learning and I'm inspiration guiding light. I'm like a fire Sherpa. It's sort of mine. His name is Jake Gyllenhaal and he's going to play a movie. He's doing a movie about a podcaster and he's doing Griffin Inc. This time and his job's not like the other parents' jobs and so he's watching me and what's that Jake? Yeah. Okay. Hey, yeah, if you want, go grab a, there's some Sobe life water down in the fridge. Okay. Can I just real quick, real quick, I can't fucking stand this guy. He's so big. He's like so animated and it's like, just come back. Yeah, save the cranberry one for Rachel. Okay. He was like, I'm Spider-Man now. I'm Spider-Man now and I'm like, you were in Spider-Man. You

didn't play Spider-Man. I am. I also have, well, a shadowing situation happening here, but unlike you two lazy layabouts, I have the entire 2019-2020 Harvard Business graduating class shadowing me. Oh, wow. Yeah, they're all here in my office. That must be one hell of a headphone splitter you've got for them. Yeah. Well, I mean, they're all just being very quiet and they're sharing one speaker that they're huddled around. Like that scene, you know, in Christmas story, where they're listening to a little orphan Annie. Right. They're listening to my brother, my brother and me and they, they're all in the room, but they promise to be really quiet. Trav, Jake, Jake's laughing so hard. Jake, John Hall's really busting a gut on this one.

Why would he be laughing? He's not muted for a second, so I would mess up the recording. Did you just hear how I found the pieces of gum in my pocket, but I didn't make a big deal out of it on the show? That's really important. Hold on, another one we're talking. Good one, guys. Yeah, absolutely. Anyway, I've just found two pieces of gum randomly, but I didn't make a big deal out of it. Now, here's the thing folks at home. One of us is telling the truth, and the other two are fiving, but you'll never know which one it is. Right? That's how we keep this spark alive here at my brother and my brother and me. I'm nodding at the entire Harvard business class. That's how we keep the spark alive. We keep people interested because we

lie to them two thirds of the time and they never know what is the truth and what's a lie. We don't have more sobe. How did you finish that that fast? We don't have more sobe lifewater. Great. Why did you chug it like that? I have more. Just send them to the store. Go to Travis's. Flight of Cincinnati. Slam. Hey, Jake. Yeah, you wanted some more. I know. Sorry. He forgot his keys. Send them back, Travis. Okay, you got to go back and get your keys. I can't show them now, but. Hey, let's do a question. Yeah, guys, absolutely. Time for the first question of the episode. I recently moved

nearby a donut shop. Oh, that'd be tough. I used to live next door to a Giovanni's. Okay. And I would order garlic bread for every meal. And then sometimes I would also get stromboli or stromboli and get doubles. So I would have a stromboli dinner and a stromboli lunch in hard times. Did you collect sort of your sweat during that era to use as a sort of general purpose, like Italian oil dressing seasoning? So the donuts are highly praised in the area. However, I looked at the reviews, 70% of them talk about how the old man that runs the shop is a huge bully to his customers. Many reviews even stated how you refuse to sell you his donuts if you weren't interested in the daily specials, or he puts extra donuts in your bag

and charges you for them whether or not you wanted them. My social anxiety is peaked at the thought of interacting with this man, but I really want to try his donuts. Brothers, what do I do? That's from scared of the donut man in St. Paul mini soda. That's why I said, here's, I have good news and bad news and they're both the same news. Okay. Because you're going to need to go get these donuts. That's the bad news. Absolutely. And we've got no premise. Yes. Because the good news side of this is these donuts are so good that this business has been able to stay in business, even though it sounds like it's owned by a bad business person. Yeah. Right. That's how good these donuts are. And you find that out sometimes where it's like, oh yeah, this is like a deli

where if you don't know what you want right away, they yell at you, but people still go there and they'll say, oh, I go there for the atmosphere and it's fun because like your hairdressers are rude to you or whatever. But that's what I, let's not skip over that Travis. I want to explore this Dick's Last Resort heat that this cantankerous whole donut man is spinning on his customers, because there are people who like that. And I feel you, I feel like you can do like a really mean punk rock, like donut shop at Moe and people are going to be wicked into it. Like just a general sort of, I know what you're going to do with these. You gotta, you get it. I know what you're going to do with these holes, aren't you? You dirty, you dirty animal. It's not me. This is,

this is the character I'm playing of the filthy old donut man who is going to be mean to you. But then if you call him on it, he's like, you know what, takes some, takes some clothes for the kids. Oh, that's a good point. Does he like the back sass? Is he looking for like a two way sassy exchange? Fuck you too old man. Well, that's so mean. That's too mean. Take some cruellas for the kids. He's like, wait, you gotta pay. I'll pay, you pay for my balls and then leave without paying. Hey, your balls are illegal. And then you leave. Oh, you knew the secret code. These donuts are on the house and these nuts. Say, are these donuts hot? Nobody says no. Up in the bag and say you're not paying for them. Make some fresh ones. That's good. He's really mean and you're

like, Hey, I know that behind that gruff donut man exterior, you're just looking to be loved. And I want you to know you can't scare me off. I'll be back tomorrow for more donuts. And then you do that every day until eventually you're in. You fall in love. He teaches you how to do the donuts. I've never read Tuesdays with Mori, but I think this is what happens. You're at first, Mori. Yeah, fucking mean. He's like, Hey, you piece of shit. I don't want to spend Tuesdays with the year. Yeah, Tuesdays are my day. I want to briefly talk about donuts in Huntington because we've got a bunch of people coming into Huntington. Okay, I would I just want to remind everybody that the best option for donuts in the area is Jolly Pirate Donuts. The donut box looks like a treasure

chest. Can't beat it. Ask if they got hot donuts in the back. If they don't mention it like up front, you'll be able to find some. Also, I would 100% recommend that you follow Jolly Pirate on Facebook because it's fucking radical. Oh, what do they put now? I think it's like one old old man who doesn't fully grok Facebook, but he's crushing it. It's just there is a picture that went up. So they haven't posted for literally two months. Yesterday, he put up two pictures of donuts in the fryer with the quote. What? There's two pictures of donuts in the fryer. I'm looking at it now. It's unbelievable. Can you read that quote for me, Griff? The quote said, these are first of all, not especially well-framed photos of these donuts, but the don't. Yeah. It says,

no baby beats the old man, but beats his B E E T S like the vegetable. No baby beats the old man. That's what Jolly Pirate's message is. I don't know. It's like they're called. I guess they're calling out someone. I don't know who somebody post like an arrival, you know, donut place, post a picture of one donut in a fryer. And they're like, fuck that. We're doing two possible messages for this are one. There's tiny donuts at peace. Love and little donuts downtown. Okay. Those are those are not the same. Not great. And then there's we got a Duncan, our first Duncan in town. What? And maybe they're making a run at Duncan. I don't know. I like Duncan and I don't know about Jolly Pirate's coffee scenario.

Like Duncan. Don't. Don't shop local. Is it possible? It don't be. It don't be Jolly Pirate Donuts. Jolly. Duncan's donuts are unthinkable. The idea. Do you know why they had the, uh, do you know how they legally had to change the name of the place just to Duncan? Because they're not even, they don't even qualify as donuts anymore. Oh, they don't like legally. It's like a legal. They're just called breaded rings. If I could flow, is it possible? Pringles are like potato crisps. Yeah. Is it possible that the social media manager for Jolly Pirate Donuts did an extremely questionable job of quoting dirty dancing? How about a yacht? It's like I always say. No, baby. No, baby beats the old man.

Nobody puts baby at the intersection. Okay. So here's a Yahoo. This one was sent in by, actually a few people sent this one in. It's by an anonymous Yahoo answer. Oh, wait. Sorry. I just want to circle back to one thing. Yeah. The last post from Jolly Pirate Donuts is a picture of a huge cruise ship going through a canal in Greece. Oh, yeah, man. Oh, that's so cool. Pumpkin cookies now available. That's something else. This is a good, this is a premium follow folks. This is a premium follow. Damn. We haven't, we haven't recommended a premium following a while. You know, I'm getting on board. I'm following Jolly Pirate's WV. All right. On Facebook. Okay. So anyway, um, this one sent in, uh, by, uh, no baby. I can't stop thinking

about no baby beats the old man. It's got like, no baby beats the old man. It's got such good until the chosen baby. It's got pure boomer energy in a way that I wish everything kind of reflected. But anyway, so no baby asks, Frazier and Niles get caught eating baked beans at the opera. I am an aspiring screenwriter and it is my dream to work on the new Frazier reboot. Would this be a good episode idea? We've all been waiting for this opportunity to fall in not our laps, but someone's lap so that we can run over, slap it out of their lap and onto our lap and make it our Frazier reboot. Um, but this idea of Frazier and Niles get caught eating baked beans at the opera, I feel like we could think and think our three brains locked

together, um, completing the cerebral puzzle as it were. And we would not come up with anything that good. Um, but I'm, you know, I'm open to suggestions, I guess. Here's, okay. Here's what to catch you guys up while you think about your answers. I want to, what's the latest on the Frazier reboot? This is Frazier reboot watch, which is a new segment. Um, this is from 10 days ago. While visiting in depth with Graham Besinger last week, grammar said that while no network has taken in the cranes just yet, he approved of an idea for the new season. This is from Vulture. And this is Kelsey. This is Kelsey Grammer speaking. This is Kelsey Grammer of Frazier fame. He played the, one of the main big characters on their Frazier, the titular Frazier. He played

Frazier. Okay. So here's the quote. We got it hatched. We've hatched the plan. What we think is the right way to go. We're sort of on standby a little bit. Hey, where's my Bim Bam season two? We hatched it. Uh, we hatched the plan. It's a holding pattern, but you know how like you hatch a baby and then like a baby bird and then the baby bird is just on standby for a while. Don't worry about it. Here's, uh, we're, we're kind of standby for a little bit. And this is another one that we can steal. Uh, working out a couple of possible network deals that we're circling. So we're kind of, there's the deals below us. And like the majestic hawk, we are circling the deals, fighting the deals that are hawk, and it's also circling. Don't let that

we've hatched the hawk of deals. And now let's circling the deals and let's dive back into this quote. Uh, there's, there's still stuff going on, but a revisit to Frazier comma Frazier's world is, I think, definitely going to come. Now, Vulture has taken a step here to not italicize Frazier's world, which seems strange because I do think that when Kelsey Grammer said that, he was dropping the, you know, world premiere name of the reboot Frazier's world. It'll be Frazier's world. And at this one, you get to go inside of his like mindscape. And so it's part animated by which I mean like anime, it's all anime in there. Like inside Frazier's head. Yeah. In his mind, because he's always talking about other people's minds. And this one, you get to go into Frazier's world,

which is what he calls it. And this one Frazier has been in some kind of accident. Maybe he's in a coma and we're getting to see the dreamscape in which Frazier lives. I get it. Okay. Yeah. That's obvious. We find out the entire first series was a dream because Kelsey Grammer hates the first series, so he wants to undo it. He always wanted it to be based around Frazier Crane's anime dreamscape. Yes. John Mahoney hologram. So Frazier and Niles are eating some beans of the opera. Baked beans. Baked beans. Not a fancy bean like a garbanzo. And what I love about this, this premise that there's this aspiring screenwriter who's set up, is the issue is not that they are eating baked beans of the opera. It's that they're caught eating baked beans of the opera.

They fucked up. Yeah. Now, so here's the question. Let's roll back. How did we get here? Maybe we start in meteoros, the first thing they're caught. Break the story. Right. They're caught. Right. Hey, there's a flashlight from an usher. Maybe the usher is like a young person. So their voice breaks when they say like, Mr. Crane, no baked beans of the opera for the last time. And then we just see them on the floor eating loose baked beans. And now we then start back at the beginning to get there. So this is the premiere of Frazier's world. This is the first episode. You haven't seen Kelsey. With this kind of heat? You haven't seen Kelsey in a couple decades except for that one very viral video where he did eat shit off the stage. Yeah. We all remember that and love that. That

was practically a Frazier reboot, a very, very short, very, very small, very delightful. Frazier's plummet to the ground. So this is, and he's come back. So after the in media res opening, we show him and they are mourning the loss of the chair, which is fucked up. The chair is gone. And so, and the dad wanted the chair to be, you know, what's the word? Immolated, disintegrated? What's the word I'm looking for? Yeah, but it cremated, evaporated. And he was like, and don't worry about it. Just put it in a can of baked beans. Okay. So he doesn't want like a fancy earring because he's not a fancy person like old Garbanzo Niles over here. Yes. Is Niles and Frazier eating their dad? No, they've got to get the can from somewhere.

Well, yeah, I'm saying that. Oh, so that, so they need the can. I thought you were saying Griffin, because where I was going to go with it is they put the ashes of the chair into the can of baked beans. Oh, and then it like makes it like made a like a chair slurry Travis. Yes. But then the baked beans spill, right? The can maybe gets destroyed. Okay. And now they need to get the baked beans out of there. And the only way they can think to do it is by smuggling in their tum-tums. That's cool. Frazier's like some dumb old, it's old. Hey, Justin, you're not muted. I pretend to like it for my brothers because they're like old and boring, but hey, did Frazier end with Roz and Frazier getting together? Because that's what I want. Absolutely, Traff. Okay, cool.

Do you think they're going to be back? You keep cutting out and then you come back in yelling absolutely, but not sort of responding to the thing that the people said. I'm just bringing like positive energy to the show trying to keep it going. Yeah, for sure. So anyway, what I've just done is in Hollywood terms called a bump. And I'm looking for, Travis has said it. So Justin, you go ahead and spike it right across the netline. We've established the sort of baked beans narrative. Yes. Take us home. Okay. So they need, what are they, what are they still lacking? A can, right? I think we've got the can. Nope. We've got the can. Get a city eating it. You've got caught

eating it. Finish it. We're at the opera. They have the can. They've spilled the can. Why are they, okay, this is a problem is, why are they eating it at the opera? They're eating dirty chair chili off because they were going to go throw it over the big cliff like their dad asked to scatter the chair. But then they saw that the opera was in town. But then they saw the, and like a mouth to a flame, these two fancy fucks went to the opera. And they said we can throw it after the fancy opera. But what happened? They spilled it on the floor and they have to eat the chair chili off the fucking floor like a couple of dogs. Oh shit. Okay. Listen, are you guys ready? I'm about to pitch

you. Travis, Justin, that needs to spike it. Okay. Yes. You spike it, Griffin. And then I will, I will sell it in the room, the Frazier reboot. So B plot, Daphne is, oh, she's back. But here's the thing. She runs a company now. Okay. And there she's incorporating. In this episode, she's following the papers to incorporate. Okay. So back to you, Travis. Okay. I don't see how that helps me resolve. Oh, maybe our business is she now runs like a huge, like cleaning service organization that now she is the head of. And now she gets the contract to clean the opera. And then you don't want the opera. Oh, can't find a name for me company.

Wait a minute. Oh, I get it. Empty can of baked beans. And they all tie back together. It all ties back. Now are you ready? Here's how I'm going to, if you're listening Kelsey Grammar, which I know you bar, you dirty belly. Okay. Here, I'm going to give you your pitch. Mr. Grammar, this is such an honor. Oh my God. Yeah. Thank you for listening. I listened to your autobiography, the audiobook version of it. Grammar crackers. So far. No. Okay. In this one, rather than country, country grammar was the name of it. It's actually Grammar's cool. Yeah.

Grammar's cool. In this one, rather than the dad coming to live with Kelsey Grammar, a.k.a. Frazier, right? And him being the fish out of water. This one Frazier goes to live with his dad in a rural town where Frazier just doesn't fit in. John Mahoney did sadly pass away. So we talked about no poop Griffin. It's going to be different now. We already talked about John Mahoney hologram. Yeah, that's established. It's problematic in a few ways. I would love to come into this one clean. I would love to come into this one. Okay. And this one, Kelsey Grammar plays the dab. Okay. Now we're on some, now we're on some honey boy shit. And I back fucking on board. We got a young, fancy person to play a titular Frazier. Everybody bumps up one character.

Everyone bumps up one character and who comes in at the bottom to play Frazier? It's young Sheldon, not the actor that plays young Sheldon. It's young motherfucking Sheldon comes in. ABC, CBS, NBC. Okay, I'm sorry. I have to, I have to quibble with you. Young Sheldon would have to come in to play the dog Eddie and the dog hopes that something would be loosened up at some point. And then he would be in the running after that to take over Niles because it funnels by age, right? Right. So you mean a new Pearson play Frazier and Eddie the dog will be Frazier. That's right. Okay. Yes. Well, this is good. Sorry. Ross would have to play Niles because I think Ross is probably above Eddie the dog. Just on the call list. Let's keep shaking the tree, guys. That is how it works.

That's how it worked on Roseanne when she got booted. Lori Metcalf was like, now I'm, it's called Metcalf now. Welcome to Metcalf. Do you know what sucks? Do you know what sucks when I've been actually distracted is I can't stop thinking about how terrifyingly close the last 10 minutes probably actually really were to some of the breaking of stories for Frazier. Especially towards the end. I feel like if you swapped out baked beans with another proper now, we probably would have gotten to a solid spec. There was probably a lot of solid things that were just like Frazier's in Vegas. Okay. You got 48 hours to give me 20 pages. That was it. Hey, guys. Yeah, I got a segment. I want to set it up, Trav. So I tried this segment

out in Milwaukee. I loved it. I'm going to do it again. Basically, I call it reach for the stars. And in it, I'm going to read you guys a couple of Amazon reviews, and I'll give you like the review and the star rating. And you guys are going to try to guess what the product they're reviewing is. Now, this first one here, this is a one out of five star review. Oh no. It may have just been a warehouse issue, but there was nothing inside the package. It was a white and blue envelope, and there was nothing in it. It was even sealed as well. Would not recommend. It even had tracking, but there was nothing inside. Someone had to seal the package at the West house, knowing there was nothing inside. This is an anti-cloot. You have given us.

I know less about the product now that I did when we started. Let me give you one piece of information here. Okay. This is another one out of five star review. Toy. Okay. So I, because I was going to say aphids. Oh, not a bad guess. I mean, an aphids come out. You don't even see them. You're like, this bag was empty, but really there was the aphids you bought and forgot about. That's pretty good. But if it's a toy, toy, now remember that's a one star review. Oh, so it's, they didn't want it to be a toy. They wanted it to be a business. Highlighted a replica sword. Highlighted a replica sword. Good guess. Good guess. What about like a, you know, a funny stapler, like a office space themed stapler? You know,

something businessy, not a toy. One of you is on the right track, and I won't tell you what, but one of you is on the right track. Now, this is a five out of five star review, and this might help a lot. Very realistic looking. They fool most people, made of good quality materials, awesome price, and most important, fun. I've changed my answer significantly, because now I think it's full blown shit. I think it's a full blown goofy, goofy, rubbery shit that you would put on the floor of your house. So your friends walk in and be like, why is there shit on the floor? And you're like, it's a joke. And then they say, why did you want us to think there was shit on the floor? One of those. Okay.

Teenage Ninja Turtle, replica nun chucks. Okay. Okay. Now, here's the final one. Five out of five stars. Sun got them for drama class. Very realistic. Teacher impressed. I'm back to aphids. I'm back. I'm right back on aphids. Well, how do you think the aphids would be deployed in drama class? In an impressive way. It sounds like it'd be fucking cool, man. If you're doing like a monologue from some play that had aphids in it, our monologue from like bugs life, bugs life and monologue or from ants would be funny. No. Okay. I'm back on. I'm sort of leaning towards Justin's prop weapons now. I'm gonna stick with that. Nope. Nope. We're looking

at fake cigarettes, fake cigarettes, fake cigarettes. Now I have one more here and I will tell you. Now wait, can we stop for a second? Someone thought they were ordering real cigarettes from Amazon. Toy. Toy. Hey, these didn't, I didn't feel anything with these. I didn't feel the toy. Where's all the cool smoke? Got one more here now. I will go ahead and tell you guys this is another novelty. Okay. Because that will become clear from this first five out of five star review. Yeah, buddy. Fooled my whole family at Easter. Lol. Fake dookie, fake dookie, fake dookie. I would hate to be one answer off with my fake dookie, but yeah, yeah, fake dookie. I mean, you guys got it in one. Oh, wow, really? Yeah, but I'll read the rest of the

views because they're very good. Okay. This is a five out of five star review. I was really excited about this variable fools day. Unfortunately, my dog ate it before my husband could see it because he was feeling extra petty that day. That's extra. That's really bad about your marriage and your dog ate some shit. That's rough too. This one is a five out of five star reviewed title. The best fake poop on the market. Well, we would have gotten it without unprobably. Yeah, I wouldn't have given you the title, but I think you probably would have gotten it from this. When I cleaned out my uncle's house after his passing, I offered up various items to the cousins. One of the items was an antique porcelain commode. My one cousin said he wanted it.

I packed it up and shipped it off. But of course, put one of these in it as a gag. That's a pretty horrible gag, I feel like. Yeah, funny. Okay. Now one more. And this one. Oh my God. Five out of five star reviews here. Got it from my stocking stuffer parentheses from Santa in parentheses to myself as a joke for my daughter. Do it again. Got it for my stocking stuffer parentheses from Santa in parentheses to myself as a joke for my daughter. Later that day took it to my parents house and strategically placed it in the hallway right when the party was going and then waited for my dad to notice. Took about two hours, but he noticed. I got this guy expectantly staring at this brown lump like, Hey, anybody been to the hallway?

Lily's a little stinky in there. If anybody wants to go into the hallway, I got the whole party in on it. The look on my dad's face when he tried to secretly grab the paper towel and clean it up before anyone noticed was priceless. And the moment when he bent down and grabbed it and realized it was fake was even better. Touch that shit, old man. I've waited two hours for this. The moment here. Has anyone seen Doug? Yeah, he's just staring down the hallway. Did you have fun at the party? Yeah, I spent most of it looking at fake shit on the ground. I know you invited that person that you wanted me to talk to you because you think maybe we could become romantically entwined, but they did try and talk to me and I said, not now, not now, not now. I

need to watch my daddy touch this poo poo. And he looked like a fool for the five seconds when he thought it was real. What a dumb asshole. Hey, let's, uh, I'm not gonna be able to afford any fake poop if we don't take a quick break to the money's end. Do you think there was ever a dookie gag of any stripe on Frazier Prime, which is what we'll call the first sort of. They had a dog running around the house and a fancy apartment. You know there was Griffin. Okay, this isn't an ad. You're not, neither of you are doing the ads. Okay, I'll read it here. This ad is from Stitch Fix. Everybody go to Amazon and buy the complete series of Frazier and think about how all of them would be wearing comfortable underpants.

It's right. It says, Stitch Fix says right here, don't talk about the clothes. We're warning you, nerdlingers. Just, we went deep. It says we went, it says, okay, we went deep on Frazier. So deep. God, we're ruined. Why did we spend all the money we used? We earned from bringing, uh, great style direct to people's doors with their favorite clothing brands and, um, shipping out people's boxes of clothes and accessories. And we spent it all on Frazier, baby, and we're sunk. It says here, we invested in Frazier, which is not a thing we thought you could do with a TV show, but we thought they were all about stylish classy people. So we thought what, what better to associate ourselves with and only then did we find out it's not even running anymore.

It says here that they, to get started, go to stitchfix.com slash my brother. Answer some questions about your preferred style and your personal shopper will ship you a box of clothes, shoes, and accessories. And that Griffin on his last box kept five out of five things, uh, because they really, really crushed it. And then it says here that they just called the stock market and started yelling Frazier, Frazier, Frazier, Frazier until they had, uh, had shares of Frazier here, and accidentally some of Brendan Fraser too, but that, that's actually paying dividends now. So that's what's going to keep them afloat here in 2020. Oh, and it says here, uh, shipping exchanges, returns, and Niles are always free. So if you order the Frazier, Frazier characters,

yeah, you get free Niles. That's nice. And a $20 styling fee is automatically applied towards anything you keep from your box and a little bit of Ross's hair is going to be in there. That's weird. Wow. Yeah, it is weird. It says here they've been stockpiling Ross's hair, genuine Ross's hair for decades, but get started today. That is stitchfix.com slash my brother, stitchfix.com slash my brother. You get an extra 25% off when you keep everything in your box, including Niles, and you have to feed them. You have to feed them. You absolutely must feed them. Don't feed them after midnight. Let's say you're a clothing company that just made the biggest mistake of your existence. You're on the ropes. The bank is on the phone. They're going to come

for everything. You've got one chance to set it all right, and that's to sell all of your copies of Frazier on DVD at a premium price. I wouldn't even know where to begin, Justin. I know where you're going to begin. You're going to begin at Squarespace. Oh, it's going to help you showcase your work or your extensive collection of Frazier DVDs and sell products and actors from Frazier. In the sets, the prop replicas, they're going to sell products and services of all kinds. You can promote your physical or online business and more. They've got beautiful templates created by world-class designers. Everything's optimized for mobile right out of the box. They've got analytics that can help you see how many copies of Frazier you've sold so far, and nothing to patch or upgrade

ever. They handle all that boring stuff for you. So go to Squarespace.com slash my brother for free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This week on bullseye, Lin-Manuel Miranda on his dark materials, hip hop and life after Hamilton. I know it's the first line of my obituary. So if that line is handled, then what else can I do with my time here? It's bullseye for maximumfund.org and NPR. How about another question we've only done one? Yeah. This is un-listenable.

I'm sorry that like allergies or what have you have kept me from really squealing. I just don't have much in me. It's like a basic, extreme more than words take on the Munch Squad theme song. It's very depressing. Now, I'll tell you what's not depressing though. The latest engraving in quick service dining. This week's breaking news takes us to a doorstep. I don't think we've darkened before, but it's one of my favorites when I'm headed south, headed to the beach at Zach's Bees. Never even heard that word set out loud. It is both, I believe, a restaurant chain and potentially an alien species.

Yes. When I'm having a Zach's attack, I see a doctor, but he recommends to me usually that I should head into Zach's Bees, which is like a chicken place without the bigotry, or at least they're better cloaking. I have no idea. But Zach's Bees has announced a promotional partnership with Sony Pictures for its upcoming action-adventure film. Sorry? Wait, what would you guess? Chicken attack, chicken sprint. Chicken, Sony Pictures is making chicken sprint, presumably a spiritual successor to Chicken Run. I'm sorry, Justin, this is actually a prequel to Chicken Run. The chicken is building up steam. Griffin? I mean, let me look at the list of films

that this... That will be too easy. It's Jumanji, the next level. Now, see, I was going to say perhaps Sex Tape 2, or maybe Miracles from Heaven 2, or Goosebumps 3. Zach's Bees, the fast, casual, fan favorite. God, these places have a lot of different ways of saying bad. A lot of fun ways of saying not good. We've got a cult following here at Zach's Bees. This fast, casual, fan favorite for chicken fingers, wings, and salads, don't think so. On the last one, I don't agree. Launched its limited time Southwest Chipotle and Smokehouse Cheddar barbecue filet sandwiches. Can you imagine standing at a fucking register, and they're like, what will you have? And I'll say, could I have the Southwest Chipotle

BBQ filet sandwich, please? It's embarrassing. They need numbers. Is that the sandwich tie-in? Because I don't see the connection. Well, Travis, maybe it'll become more clear to you when you slurp down an extra, extra large Jumanji citrus fizz. I don't think if I was a family brand, like Zach's Bees, I would make it so easy to say Jizz accidentally in my restaurant. You are basically begging for it. Jumanji citrus fizz. I mean, there'll be a moment where you accidentally say Fumanji, and you'll keep talking, but you're bringing them like, oh, no. Can I get a Fumanji? Oh, no, I'm about to say Jizz. Stop talking. Can I get a...

Mouth, quit it. Abort. You're about to say Jizz. Oh, boy, I would. I am parched. I would love a Fumanji jizz mist. Ah, beans. Dang it. You wanted a Fumanji jizz mist with beans? Yeah, I may as well. Yeah. We strive to give our guests exciting flavor options, and our new Southwest Chipotle and classic smoked house cheddar barbecue sandwiches do just that, says Zach's Bees Chief Marketing Officer, Joel Bollinger. Don't you think that if there should be a law where, if you're going to put a quote into a document, you must first say the phrase out loud with your human mouth, or illegally it can't be written down as a quote, like Joel actually had to say out loud. We strive to give our guests exciting flavor options,

and our new Southwest Chipotle and classic smoked house cheddar BBQ sandwiches do just that. Joel then continues the great tradition of Munch Squad providers being defensive in their quotes. He says, teaming up with Sony Pictures on Jumanji the next level just makes sense. I don't know. It's like they're doing a Jumanji and we got some new fucking sandwiches and some citrus jizz. Damn it. Damn it. I did it again. Now, Justin, you haven't seen the first Jumanji, though, the remake sequel. I've tried several times to watch the second Jumanji, but you have not reached the point where the rock just barrels the camera and says, my God, it burns so much, my citrus jizz. Get it out. Get it out. Please get it out of me. What is this horrible curse?

A scorpion got me on my thingy thingy and it's hot. It's a hot flaming hot Fumanji mist in there, and I could really use some help here. I'm going to jump off this cliff so I can respawn and get a new life where my pee-pee isn't like so full of scorpion vent. I think the sandwiches are too much. The Southwest Chipotle filet sandwich has hand-breaded filet, pickled jalapenos, pepper jack cheese, spicy Chipotle aioli, fresh lettuce, and tomato all served on a toasted potato bun. Does that sound good? I mean, it would rip me into pieces. Does that sound like a last sandwich worthy of your last sandwich? It would shred me up and scatter me over the fucking 2020 Democratic National Convention. It would fuck me right up, but okay.

Talk about self-burns. This press release by Zaxby's then goes on to say, these two hand-breaded, made-to-order, customizable chicken sandwich meals are fast, casual quality at quick service pace and pricing. Okay. Okay. Wow. Wow, really? Okay, listen, we wait for the top, and this is like a sandwich you get at Applebee's, my man. Right, that would exactly say like, you could get the, you will eat this sandwich and be like, fuck, am I at Applebee's? Is this in Chili's? Because this is amazing. This is fucking so good. Customers looking for a movie-themed drink may try the custom limited-time Coca-Cola freestyle Jumanji citrus fizz, also available in light. Thank God. Made with the Minutemate Orange and Seagram's Ginger Ale, the beverage has a sparkling citrusy

orange taste. I wonder how they get it? Is it maybe my mixing Minutemate Orange and Ginger Ale? You just gave me the fucking recipe. I'll do it at home. This is so great because I was really craving a Won't You Be My Neighbor Baja Blast, but it's really great that I don't have to wait for a movie-themed drink. The beverage has a sparkling citrusy orange taste that pairs with either of the new sandwiches. Oh, the Seagram's Ginger Ale really helps to push the hard sandwich down my throat. What an excellent pairing. It's a perfect pairing. I'm able to swallow it. Guests are invited to enjoy the drink in a 42 ounce Jumanji, the next level-themed commemorative cup. I'm going to save this forever. You're coming home to live with me in a place of honor, Jumanji cup.

Zaxby's broad audience base lines perfectly with the all-audience appeal of Jumanji, the next level. But more importantly, they strive for creative execution and have done it again with the spots they created in collaboration with our film. Says... Silence. I'm going to read this last name exactly as it's written, and I don't want a single peep to interrupt it. Says Jeffrey God Sick. Ooh. God Sick. Munch Squad did it. God Sick. Help God. The God is Sick. Executive Vice President of Brand Management and Global Partnerships for Sony Pictures Motion Picture Group. The TV spots are clever and funny. That's all Jeff's got left. Jeff's got one thing left. Hey, I want you to put my entire name and then my insane title,

and then I'll come back. I'll spin back around like a one-word thing. The TV spots are clever and funny. Oh, geez. Okay. I don't know how much more of this I can take. That's all of that. So that's available now, so you can go get that shit. Okay. How about our second question? I've always been a little insecure of my rather small vocabulary compared to my friends. For 2019, I bought a word a day calendar with a new word definition to learn. I'm assuming each day not the same one over and over again. I looked at it every day for about all three weeks, and then I forgot about it even existing. I still have it and am hesitant to throw it out since I paid real actually money for it, but it hasn't been touched for more than to move it from place to place since mid-January.

I could try it again for 2020, but it was the day of the week as well as the date, and I wouldn't want to read my word a day calendar until I'd be at Sunday on a Monday and end up not going into work. What should I do with my word a day calendar? That's from rice, or rice. Or rice. So let's see. There's, as we're recording mass, 10 divided by 41. Let me do some quick math here. Do you do math on your dog? Yeah. What the fuck? Is your dog also a calculator? Yeah. Okay, so this has just become an eight word a day calendar. Okay. No big deal. Yeah, you can do that. Eight words a day? That's not bad. You can do that. Some of them you'll know. Yes. You've got to look forward to that. Some of them you'll know. You know, they throw in a page

every like couple weeks or so where it's like, bus, take it easy today. Bus is the long car that we all go in, and then it's going to get you right back into a long word, like hippopotamus. A toughie. A toughie to work in the casual conversation. Yeah, hard day at work. Hey, Derek. Yeah, it's like a real hippopotamus out there. Yeah. Did you guys see the bus this morning? That was like eight hippopotamuses all stacked like in the end, right? Big one. Big one. Anyway. I mean, I would just start crank, I would just pull up to your bedside, just start cranking through. You got to see how it ends. Yeah, I mean, there's probably a through line in there. I feel like

where today calendars is cheating though, because you should just get some, you know, some big old some big old books and find the words in them like, you know, like old school style, like an old book that you don't know and you don't understand it. And so you read it and cheat on the accelerated reader test on it, and you pick up a few words from it that way. I feel like that's a more organic, a more organic process. Like you pick up the words like treasure and island. I learned a lot of words from the accelerated reader test for red badge of courage. So Here's the thing though, Griffin, I would argue that if this question asked her, does not have the time to look at the calendar every day, I don't want time to read

red badge of courage. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not the biggest book, but it is challenging. Could you hire someone to yell a word at you every day that you don't know? Like they find you. Why would they have to yell it? Well, because I just assumed that you'd be busy running to the next thing and they would just like yell a big word at you as you ran by. Pulgritudinous. That would be cool, except they wouldn't tell you what it means. And it would scare everyone around you. And I just said the word pulgritudinous, and I don't know what it means. I think it means beautiful. Does it? Because it sounds kind of gross. It's the grossest word, but I think it means beautiful. I don't think you should take

on projects like this. Okay. I don't think you should do this. We got a puzzle a day calendar last Christmas and we had a thing where we were writing like a memory, something that happened that day on the back of it and then put it into a jar, right? That's a lot of work. And then it's like a lot of work, right? And then it got to May. And by the time we got to May, like fucking life, you know? Like life got in the way. And it's like, what happened to us three weeks ago? I don't know. And now we've got this sad jar with like four months of memories. And I literally don't think I will have, the idea is supposed to be at the end of the year, you get them all out. You're like, remember when? But I don't think I'll have the fucking guts to face this failed

project come December. I'm going to look at it and just feel so hollow about the months and months of unsaved memories. It's too depressing. That's why I just live in the moment and then forget about it. That's it. Move on. Here's some honest to gosh stuff. Don't sweat your, you know, narrower vocabulary. I'm sure I know what the word polkertuteness means. Like I'm a real fucking Mensa just fucking balling out all the time. Everyone thinks I'm so cool and smart. But also that can be insufferable. And so just don't sweat it. You do you. Find the words, find the powerful words for you. If you don't know polkertuteness is because you've already decided that that's not a powerful word for you. You could just say beautiful.

You could just say beautiful or hella pretty. And that felt awful coming out of my mouth. That felt like just I just sort of produced slugs out of my tongue. But it might sound super cool coming out of your mouth. If you're like a badass skateboarder or something, find your power words. And here's the thing. Let me tell you this is a little Travis McRoy top tip here. And I'm a little bit loath to give the secret away. But if someone uses a big word like Griffin, say that building is polkertuteness. That building is polkertuteness. Okay. Yeah. Like, oh, that's that's cool. I have like not listening. No, I'm just saying like you don't have to then like say like you don't have to use it in a sentence. You're an adult. If someone says

something's polkertuteness and then you're like, I don't know what that means. Like you don't have to apologize for that. You don't even have to acknowledge it if you don't want to. You can just say like, okay, whatever. Anyways, what do you want for lunch? Like, Travis, I know that you feel like you're being helpful right now, but I assure you that you're not. I don't know how you've lulled yourself into a sense of feeling like this is good stuff that you're coming up with right now, but you're, you're not, you're not helping. Well, play it the other way, my big man. You tell me a fancy word and how you would deal with someone saying to you and you give me a fan, you give me a fancy word that I don't know. Let's say I'm looking around Twitter

here not seeing any. Okay, give me a second one. Bupropion. I'm just looking around my desk. I'm just sort of shooting it off the cuff. What's that mean? Bupropion. Well, if you take one tablet by mouth twice a day, then it helps sort of the brain troubles, the ghosts, the sort of specters. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that with me. I appreciate you taking the time to do that. Okay. Now, do you think that, Griffin, do you now think that I'm a normal human being or is fucking sociable? I think probably more normal than what Travis. Okay. That's kind of like a more normal thing. Listen, I'm saying, you know what? I've got confidence, boys. I don't need to learn any of your stupid words. All right? The other, the other possibility is that you say, oh, that

building is so pulchritutinous. And then you say, what does that mean? And then they either say, ah, fuck, I don't know. Or they say the wrong thing. And congratulations. You've just wanted into the most delectable scenario imaginable. Oh, for real? Oh, but you said it. Wow. For real, though, because you said it like a big old English professor, like a big smart Egbert, huh? But you said it. Interesting. That's not a power word. That's a weakness word. Do you guys want a yahoo? Yeah, I like that. We'll do a quick one. But this one is sent by Catherine. It's by another anonymous yahoo answers user. I'm going to call him, uh, Jarrah Bear asks, my dog jumped at an elderly man on a walk and made him fall over.

I walked away quickly and didn't look back. What will happen? Oh, no. Wait, who? Update. Don't be funny. He's not dead. I didn't hear any ambulance in my neighborhood that day. Oh, God. I don't know exactly where he lives, but I haven't seen him since update, update three. It's been three days. I'm all clear. Thank God I got lucky. What? So what happened? Sorry, I'll start over. My dog did jump at an elderly man on a walk and made him fall over. Not great. Not a great start. Not great. Not great. I walked away quickly and didn't look back. Not great. Pretty not great. What will happen? But then three days have passed. So quote, I'm all clear. Smiley face emoticon. Thank God I got lucky. He's dead. He's a barely

dead. He's not. We didn't connection. Listen, if we go that route, it's going to be hard to play in the space. No ambulance is what happened that day. This, the question askers sold their dog up the river. Okay. Yeah. I told my dog not to jump on the old man. I said, don't do it. And he said, I'm going to do it. And I said, no, that's wrong. Yeah. You could say that there was coins floating above the old man that your dog was just trying to get him. And he got, he got bonked. And there's just no way around it. The old man was cosplaying as his favorite character from the upcoming smash hit movie cats. And that made the dog angry because he hadn't seen it yet and it feel like it had been spoiled for him. He's been trying to go in clean. He's been trying to go into the theater

pure. And that's a shame because boy, is that dog not going to like that movie. This is about a bunch of tall cats, folks. He's thinking surely it can't be about cats. That'd be an ironic name. They gave, they wouldn't be that like they know there's dogs out here trying to see movies. There's no way it's just about cats. There's got to be something we're missing. How's that old gearbox you got up locked up in that skull work that when your dog does jump up on the elderly man and he does fall down, you just dip and don't look back. The not looking back is also troubling Travis. Yeah, very troubling. I would say what's going to happen. You're probably okay here. I would hope that some sort of judgment, be it divine or karmic or whatever,

awaits you. But you know what? It's been three days. Yeah, it's probably fine. But you know what? The old man knows. And does he? Because it seems like you played it off so well by walking away. Yeah. What was that wild dog by itself? And loudly announcing whose dog is doing this. Someone, please come get this dog. I see this dog is causing you issue. I'll grab his leash and take him away. Or you should, that's why you should always have a fake mustache in your pocket. So you can walk away very quickly and then come back with the fake mustache like, hi, excuse me, is this dog causing you trouble? Oh no, the dog, the dog has bound my wrist with this leash and is tugging me along. And I am waiting for him to make poopies and peepees.

I do love him very much. I forget what I was doing. I'm sorry about knocking you very over though, old man. Do you need help? Whoa, you jumped back up by yourself because you're very healthy. And there's nothing to be sad about in this question. We're having fun in the space. Here's all to say. Here's all to say. All right, I'm just gonna say this. Original sin. The thing you remember is there is sin in this whole band's heart. And he probably did deserve it for something he did because all are fallible. And fallible, it seems like, because he did do that, a big one, but he's okay so we can have fun with it. It's not sad. It is not sad. We can't stress this enough. This is not a sad situation. Oh,

it's from the old man. Oh, when he found out he found $100 on the ground. Cool. Oh, it says here, I'm really glad. Wait, let me scroll down. Oh, the dog knocked me down. I'm healthier than I was before. I adopted the dog as my son. Oh, shit. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, guys, hold on. I got a phone call. Beep. Hello. Okay. It's me, the old dog, man. Hi, old dog, man. How are you? How are you feeling? We're really worried about you. Can't hear him. Could you patch him in? Really? It's me, the old dog, man. Oh, hey. Yep, just wanted to say that darn dog did knock me over and I thought I was going to go up and hang out with Jesus and old Rebecca. And they'll tell you about old Rebecca later. We don't have that many Skype minutes.

But I fell down right on my fucking sacroiliac and popped it right back into place, feeding it. Okay. Look out, look out, tap dancing stage because dog, dog man's coming. Are you going to perform as dog man? Will that be your sort of stage identity? And then I tell y'all about all my sin. Oh, the first act is him admitting all of his worldly sin. So by the end of the first act, you're like, someone please stop this old man to the ground. Someone please try to fucking dog, some hero dog. So this has been my brother, my brother, me. It's an advice show. We're helping. This is all helped, hasn't it? Yep. I'm glad we could help.

We were done touring for the year. So this is normally where we tell you to come see us, but we're not going to be out and about, sadly. Yeah, for a bit now. We're taking a bit of a break as Travis and Teresa are expecting. And so we're just going to kind of chill on it for, yeah, just going to chill on it for a little bit. But thanks to everybody who came out. We got a bunch of stuff at MacRoy.family that you can check out, even if it's not tickets for our live sort of performances. So, you know, new stuff every month, throwing them up. Got candle lights merch in there. If you want candle lights and merch, got candles and pins and there's no candles, but there's pictures of candles, pins, ornaments, all kinds of fun stuff. Speaking of new stuff,

you can go to theadventuresowncomic.com, if you haven't already, and pre-order the Adventure Zone Balance Graphic Novel Book 3 coming out in July. But you can pre-order it now and then not have to worry about it again. Thanks to John Roderick and the Long Winters for the Use for Our Theme Song. It's a departure off the album, Putting the Days to Bed. Great album, great tunes, and great riffs on that one. And a super powerful chorus. There's a few good choruses on there. And thanks to Maximum Fun for having us on the network and check out all the shows on Maximum Fun, like Beef and Dairy Network and Switchblade Sisters and a whole lot more at MaximumFun.org. And y'all want that final? Yes. Yes. Here's the final y'all who this one was sent

in by Graham Roebuck. Thanks, Graham. It's y'all who answers user Patty, who says... Does anyone think the comedy bits on Pawn Stars is made up? My name's Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother, me, Kiss Your Dad, Square on the Lips. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. Hey, it's Jesse Thorn. We're very happy to announce that tickets for MaxFunCon 2020 will go on sale Friday, November 29th at 11 a.m. Pacific. I also want to let you know this coming year, MaxFunCon 2020, will be our last MaxFunCon for the foreseeable future. For 2020 and beyond, we're going to be

looking for ways to connect with more of you in person and spread the spirit of MaxFun farther than it's ever gone before. In the meantime, if you want to join us at the last MaxFunCon in Lake Arrowhead, June 12th through the 14th, you can find details at maxfuncon.com.