My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 492: The Naming of 2020

Episode Date: January 6, 2020

It has arrived. Our annual opportunity to place a steady hand upon the rudder of the new year is here, and boy howdy, it’s a big one. Twenty-Twenty?! It’s the same thing twice! Is that anything? Please? We’re spiraling. Suggested talking points: Down to Beesness, Tenure at Cool University, Lunch Smell, Faded at Spangles

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother, our brother mean advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother, old langzine, Travis McElroy. Zeep zoop. I'm future Griffin McElroy, and I've got Android Tubes coming out of the whole wazoo.

Okay Griffin, we're recording this way in advance. Aren't you past Griffin? Okay, we're recording this in 2019 when it comes out in 2020. I'm assuming by the time, what is this, like January 6th? Oops. Oh, that was part of Griffin's robot parts. That was a phone call that was coming out of my chest. I assume by 2020, when this one comes out, I'm gonna have Tubes. Yeah. Gonna be Tubes. Tubes. I just want to say something. This is the time of year. It's the magical time of year where we brand the new year and set a tone for the whole year,

and everyone knows 2019 was 20 Frankenstein Teen, become the monster. But let me just say, hey, this is Travis saying, you guys, you may not realize it, but I kind of won, because I hard pitched 20 equine teen this year, we're getting a horse, and let me check the books. Oh, yeah. We got a horse named World Wide Webster, Sue. Yeah, I don't know how much Monster Morphin I'd really, if I'm being on, if I'm really deep breathing. It's good to be honest with yourself. I'd feel like I didn't. My wife got me a bidet for Christmas. That's as close as I got to becoming the monster. And I do feel like, in a way, you know, okay, creature from the brown lagoon. Go on.

I'm gonna say it's just like becoming the monster. If you think about it, it's a wonderful life. That fool didn't. There's no way that he had a bidet. That's super nice guy in it. He did not have a bidet. But Mr. Potter had Mr. Potter bidets. Garren fucking teed. His whole seat was a bidet. His whole thing's a bidet. Garren teed that guy had a bidet. So on that sliding scale between Mr. Potter and George Bailey, I definitely moved away from George Bailey when my lovely wife got me a bidet for Christmas. See, I would say I definitely became the monster because I put on 120 pounds of muscle. Right. And I'm six foot seven now. So that part of it, for sure. I mean, I got a genuine internet vampire blood transfusion that I did buy on Etsy.

Yeah, that's for sure. Hey Griffin, you look great. Very pale and sparkly. Yeah, you know, and I'll have to take your fucking word for it, won't I? No more mirrors. Can't see in the mirrors. Can't see in the mirrors. So I've put a lot of thought into 2020. What about you, Griffin? You know, I've got, no, I've been making it up sort of for the last three minutes and 40 seconds. Oh my god, really? I've been working on this list for four months. What about you, Justin? You too. Yeah, absolutely. It's been working. I know you haven't, Justin, because you told us before we started recording you forgot.

It didn't, not that I forget. We, this is, we didn't plan on this being this episode until it was. I've planned on it this whole time. Okay, listen, listen, listen. We got 2010 was Zolo. Right. What did that mean? Don't know. Don't know. Was it like a Yolo thing? It's, it was 10 calendar years ago. Uh-huh. No one can remember. Correct. This is, this will be our 10th anniversary. Maybe there's something there. Now I was thinking Zozo, but that's the, that's the terrifying. Oh my god. This is the 10th one of these we've done. Oh my god. Yes. Now, what was 2011?

2011 was. 11th. Excuse me. This is the 11th one of these that we have done. Holy shit. Okay. I have the wiki pulled up. Let's just blaze through. Zolo. That was less official. So this could be our official 10th year theme. 2011, 2000 in heaven. Get right with Christ. Okay. Interesting start. That's a good one. Interesting start that he had there. Uh, 2012 was getting it in 20 does. 20 does. Yes. I like that. 20 does getting 20 does. 2013 was 20, 13 digging up, getting it out.

Yeah. Uh-huh. I shouldn't just be laughing at the dumb shit we said eight years ago, but here we are. 20 forward. That was a powerful one. That was a good one. Move, move the, move the chains. Um, 2015, 2015. Yeah. The con is on. Follow that one. You got to get the subtitles. It's so important for your years to have sub subtitles. That's true. Uh, then we had 20, 16 building bridges. Our biggest with. Our biggest. Yeah. Oh, that one. 2017, very powerful. Uh, 20 serpentine, Cuban guessing or Zag on them. If you prefer.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then we had a collaborate team stronger together. That was a powerful year. Uh-huh. 20. And then lastly, Frankenstein team become the monster. Yes. Okay. Which I nailed. I've seen a lot of buzz on the forums. What will it be? What variety printed a story about it?

What will it be? New York Times printed a story about it. They wrote it in the new chapter in the Bible. And a lot of people have been guessing it's going to be like just something about like 2020, you know, like see clearly or 2020, a look back or something like that. That's basic. That's not, we are not looking back. If any of the, the, uh, subtitle for this year needs to be whatever the opposite of looking back is, which I guess is looking forward. And I think we've done that one already. So nevermind. Look, can I pitch one? And I've learned from the past. I'm going to say my favorite one.

Travis, can I just say you are juiced right now. I'm excited. Fewer good rhymes, I will say for this year. Well, we had an abundance of Richard. Well, now stick with me here. You're going to see where I'm going with this one, but 20 bunny hop to it. All right. So, you know, that's not good, but it's good to get like a right. I'm trying to get the ball rolling. You got to fire all the blanks out of 20 bunny hop to it. Yeah. Yeah. So that one's gone. 20 hunting. Go get it. Hunt, like you're hunting, like you're hunting. Well, this is interesting.

Maybe this is the year. And I like, you know, my shit is like practical get out there like at a direction, an instruction for our listeners to follow. Yes. And I think let's all get into hunting this year. Yeah. That's a weird energy. It's a weird energy, but only for population control. Let's be clear. This is not big game hunting. This is not, oh God, no, that's disgusting. This is for food and for population control. That's it. We're talking about sewer pigs. Yes.

I want to hit you guys with one. Okay. Okay. We were not, are you, who's writing these down? Griffin, you have to write them down since you didn't prepare as many as me and Travis did. Or was that a bit? Do I have to write down 20 bunny? No, it's a thing. No, 20 bunnies out. Okay. To make a shared, maybe make a shared document, please. Oh my God. I didn't realize we were going to get fucking hit. This is our advice show, by the way. And every year we pick a new year theme.

Welcome to your first episode if you're just not listening. I'm sorry. You should not let's start with this one, honestly. No, you should. It is going to set the tone for your whole year. Don't listen to Travis. This is scratch paper of an episode. Listen, let me hit you with this. 20 binti live in large. Huh? 20 binti, like a... Like a venti.

Like a 20 binti living large. Because it's 20. 20 binti live in large. Binti rhymes with 20, 20 binti live in large. You just said it and so you know it doesn't. And you also, you can say 20. Yes, that's as close as we're going to get. Okay. Okay.

I feel like a 20 binti live in large. That's not bad. I, I... Can you play in it? Can you just get on top of it for a second? Take it around the track. 20 binti, don't be a drip. Oh, that's not bad.

I'm going to write that down. Okay, really? Weird. I took it in my... Kind of play on mine. Yeah, I remixed it a little bit. 20 binti, don't talk to me before I have my coffee. That's fun too.

It's attainable at least. Yeah. We're just all not going to talk to each other till we've had our coffee. Let's just not. We need to be, we need to be careful here. Because we are, we are stumbling in the direction of just sort of a bad like slant rhyme.

Like 20, 20 binti can't be it, right? Well, we're with Frankenstein Teen Griffin. Yeah, there's... Listen, it's going to be a slant rhyme, bud. There's nothing else. There's nothing that rhymes with 20? No, nothing. Well, can I...

Huntie did. I'm just saying Huntie did. Well, I can say a lot of different sounds. That doesn't make them English words. Well, look, I want to now throw out the one that I think is a real contender. Okay. I'm really proud of that.

I want to throw out here now right in the middle. So it sticks. 20 honey down to bees-ness. And now here's the thing about it. It's about getting down to business, which is important. And also... Saving the bees. Bees.

Yeah. 20 honey, H-U-N-N-Y. 20 honey... Oh, wait. You're spelling it like a poo bear. Yeah. 20 honey... The poo's spelling.

Yes. 20 honey down to bees-ness. Down to bees-ness. Travis, that's really good, bud. I was starting to think that after 20 honey, Huntie... See, you've just kind of taken 20 Huntie and... When I made it better. Because you gotta say it like this.

20 honey down to bees-ness. I am... This is the best one so far, obviously. And here, let me also just say a lot of my choices were influenced. A lot of this is to blame on Paul Saborn. Because Paul got us... Paul. He got us a gobo for our tours.

So that behind all of our tours this year, it said become the monster. And that was very exciting to me. And we branded our tours a lot this way. So this year, I thought we'll be a fun branding for our tours because there will also be on the posters. It'll be on the gobos behind us. And I thought, you know what I like?

Bees and bee iconography. There's no spelling of the word bees-ness that looks like fucking anything. B-E-E-S. Dash in E-S-S. Already a bless. Already a bless. Just an embarrassment of ease in this one.

20 honey down to bees-ness. It's not so... I don't think it's a type of phrase. We can't make merch out of it because this phrase can never be written down. And just only be spoken. Yeah, it's not... Legibility is not at strong suit. But, it's...

Travis is inventing words. I'm gonna... I'm gonna... Let me pitch this one. 20 bunty. Just get on base. Ooh. 20 bunny bunty.

No. How about this? 20... 20 bunty. Just get on base. May I... May I... May I just...

Just pop the bat out in front. Get on this one for a second. No, I'm gonna tweet. Tweet traffic. Can you stop and play in the baseball diamond? I am going to play in it. I'm going to play by tweaking the subtitle a little bit. Okay.

Well, but can you just try mine? Yes, but it's the same... Okay. Just get on the base. That sounds defeatist. If I may... It sounds attainable, but go on. Okay.

20 bunty. Advance the runners. Right. Now, this is... You're gonna sacrifice the out. But you're gonna advance the runners. You know, maybe... Maybe you're getting someone home.

This is a motto where you say, sacrifice yourself for the good of the mothers. Listen, yeah. Yeah. 20 bunty. Advance the runners. 20 bunty is probably more powerful than advanced... Yes.

20 bunty is probably... Advance the runners is probably more... That is... Okay. That's the one to write down, Griffin. Just chip into the tablet. 20 bunty. Here's...

Okay. I'm gonna have to lay down the law here. And this is gonna be helpful for us moving forward because there's an infinite number of bad rhymes we can generate here. The second word cannot have a hard T in it because having to say 20 bunty is... I like it the way you said it that made me very happy.

What about just 20 funny? Maybe this year. And that's a personal one. That's for us. Maybe this year will be funny. Yeah. What about 20 funny? Fill your life with laughter and love.

That was so awesome. That was so funny. That sounds like a lyric straight from the Groove Beans theme song. It sounds like it's so attainable. The idea of us having to say that a lot this year. Say it one more time, Griffin. 20 funny. Fill your life with laughter and love.

Now, how is that more attainable than advanced runners? That seems the least attainable. That's so ephemeral. But have you guys all said it yet? 20 funny. Fill your life with laughter and love. So this is going to be the... So when people come to see this,

it'll be for the fill your life with laughter and love to her. Yes, guys. Are you hearing yourself? Why don't you close your eyes and generate a stage and then flash that gobo up on it. Okay. Holy fucking shit. Okay.

How about this? If we want to go a little more attainable, not more attainable, but maybe more concrete. 20 penny. Get rid of it. Did you say pity or penny? Penny. This is the year that we get rid of the penny.

20 penny sent to heaven. Sent to heaven is cool. C-E-N-T-S-A. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 20 penny sent to heaven or sent to hell. But I like to think the penny's put in its work. It gets to a send and it's a great reward. It used to be able to buy shit with it.

I don't think its irrelevance makes it. There's a whole kind of candy named after how you used to be able to spend it on it. And an ante. Yeah. I don't think we have in our ability to get rid of- The penny, a form of U.S. currency. What about 20 money?

Get back here. Man basically kept Hamilton on the $10 bill, so he like he knows the people. Yeah, but he used it up. Everybody here, he burned it. He wasted it when he could have been sending pennies to hell. 20 money, get that paper. Or here's an opportunity that this year,

and as far as I'm aware, only this year is gonna provide us, unless we live to 30-30, which is- Possible. Possible? Is that it, it's the same. Uh-huh. So like it could be just like 20-20, repeat. No, it could be money money.

Papa wants it, Papa gets it. Something along those lines. Okay, money money, get that paper. Honey money, down to business. Honey? Okay, you seem to have perverted this far, aren't you? Well, so now we get business and bees, both in there. Honey money, down to business.

I'll write that down, Travis, but I'm not loving it. That's fine, that's fine. That's fine. Bunny money, get some carrots. It's important for you guys to get in this dock with me, because it's saying it all written down is- Can you- Where is it?

Where's the link? I've shared it, I've shared it. Check your emails. In the emails, okay. The network, Green Day Side Project, the network had one album called Money Money 20-20. Uh-huh. Okay, did you just google that just to make sure it was-

No, I remembered the name, I didn't remember the name that I would- I now heard somebody say Money Money 20-20 before. You've put 20 funny fill your life with laughter and love in a special font and font size, which feels unfair to 20 honey down to business, which I feel they're tied right now. You're right, they are tied right now, you're right, Travis. I'm gonna give that one the special treatment as well,

so don't worry about a thing. Well, you put it in comic sans and drug it. This is an abuse of power. Now, what if, what if- Griffin, may I? What if it was honey funny? Fill your life with laughter and bees. That's interesting.

Huh, that's interesting. Fill your bees with laughter and love. Ooh, I like that too. That's going somewhere. Okay, so I think we're on funny honey. Fill your bees with laughter. No, okay, we're spiraling. I don't think you can just say no, Griffin.

I think you have to put it in there. Okay, we need more content. Right now, we're trying to bake a pizza and we have three ingredients and one of them is an eraser. We need more ingredients in here to make this tasty pizza with. Okay.

Has anybody ever said blendy as a short way of saying blender? No. No. Okay, I'd rescind- I don't have anything at the moment. All right. Please, please return to me.

I cede my turn to the next contestant. We open the floor to rhymezone.com. Now, yes, I have turned to rhymezone myself. I see. I too have been at rhymezone for some time. Now, they do this one interesting, blood money, bloody money. No, that's nothing.

No, I don't think so. How about 20 runny? There's a word called intente and it's a friendly understanding between political power. So I'm going to put that one right back in the toilet and it climbed out of them. Uh-huh.

How about 20 genny? It's your year, Jennifer. Hey, this one's cool for Jennifer's. That's very good. It's targeted at Jennifer's, but they'll love it, right? Well, if we're going there, about just 20 duggy. That one doesn't rhyme and mine did.

No, 20 genny. You can hear that doesn't. I mean, they both ended me, I guess. There's a lot of things that rhymezone is telling me rhymes with 20 that, hey, rhymezone, fully fucking doesn't rhyme. 20, I think plenty in 20. 20 plenty.

Nothing rhymes with the way humans say 20, right? 20. 20. Now I just put in honey and found things that rhyme with that. Yeah. Interesting. And one of the things is the knee.

So what about 20, the knee, where we all just focus on our knees and take care of it. That one doesn't rhyme, Travis. That one does. No, this is good. 20 the knee. I'm dissociating. This is the pits.

Stop, listen. 20 the knee, give your knees, lift with your back just this year. And we're not doctors and you shouldn't listen to the shit we say, but like maybe give the knees a break. Your back's been living the fucking high life for too long. I'm feeling very strongly about funny honey

fill your life with laughter and bees. I am feeling good about 20 palmetary chases to the front. Chases to the front, party in the back. Palmentary isn't even the close. 20 minty, freshen it up. 20 minty. I'm trying to get in the place I was at when I said Frankenstein team

because it was the kind of outside the bun. I think the place you're at was about 25 minutes in and we just wanted to do anything else if memory serves. And hey, let's just say we're there right now and we are only 20 minutes in. So each year we're getting a little bit faster to this point. Rhyme zone has suggested that to rhyme with 20 is Allegheny. How do we feel about that?

Or not? No, listen. I'm not going to rely on this crutch of rhyme zone anymore. Yeah. 20. Let's look at our options so far. We may have a diamond in the rough. Yeah.

Griffin, you've stopped writing them down, right? Because the last one you have here is down to business. No, Travis has added honey money down to business. Now he's writing funny, honey, fill your... Yeah, we know what the rest of the sentence is going to be so I don't need to continue reading that. Funny, honey, fill your life with laughter and bees. Okay.

Now, hold on. I don't think it's good. I don't think it's good. Can I just say something? I feel very strongly about funny, honey. But who's this knocking at the door? It's 20 Bunty wondering where his place at the table is. Well, 20 Bunty advanced the runners.

It's pretty good. It is pretty good. Advanced the bees with laughter and love. I feel like we have gotten away from subtitling a year and have entered a sort of fugue state of sounds and ideas and thoughts and colors that aren't necessarily a coherent way of approaching a year. People rely on us for direction.

But, okay, funny, honey, fill your life with laughter and bees are two, I think, attainable goals. Where do you find bees, though, right? At the bee store. Okay, I'm not in a place in my life, Travis, where I can just have some bees. I'm barely holding it together myself. Yeah, you're going to need to set up an aviary.

This is true, but everyone knows you're going to have to. Listen, the bees aren't going to save themselves. I think we've all figured that out. We certainly, if they are, they're taking their sweet fucking time. So we need to save the bees. And you know what else we could save? Laughter. Okay, let's put bees in a box for just a second.

No, unless there's events. This, you know, it's dumb to have to say 22 times if you think about it. You're just repeating yourself. Let me pitch this to you. 20 efficiency above all. Hmm. I like the message, but I hate also the message,

which is weird. What about 20 twice? One more again. 20 twice. 20 twice is interesting. 20 twice. Take us a second. 20 twice.

Second chance. 20 twice. 20 twice. Fill your life with laughter and love. Laughter. 20 twice. Feel so, feel so nice. Well, now that's just a rhyme and not so much a

followable kind of command. 20 twice. 20, 20 twice. Roll the dice. What, what, what is the connection between us? 20 twice. Second chances. 20 or 20 twice.

Roll the dice. Got such old baby. Because it means nothing. There's no connection. It just rhymes. It means 2020. Uh-huh. Yeah, buddy.

Fucking slurp it down, dog. What do you got? What you got? What are you fucking dreaming though? I bet it's 40. I bet it's 40 and 40 and 40 and fucking a tank. Yeah, the iced coffee you left here. Yeah, baby.

Thanks for that. Yeah, you're welcome. 20 twice. Sugar and spice. Well, now you're just rhyming. Yeah. You know, because sugar and spice are two different things. 20 twice.

Twice is nice. We'll just all try harder. Well, but see, once again, twice is nice. Feels ephemeral. 20 twice. Let's all be nice. No. 20.

Okay. We can't follow become the monster with let's now. Oops. Let's all be nice. Okay. I, I, I like if we're going to go 20 twice, I think it needs to be like 20 twice a second look or 20 twice second chances.

Not powerful. Not powerful. I think I, I don't brook with 20. I don't brook with second chances anymore. We all got to get serious. Okay. 20 twice. Two for the money.

That doesn't mean anything. I know, but you were saying bullshit that didn't mean anything either. And I laugh. Sugar and spice is good. But what does it mean? It means it means in moderation, be sweet. Justin, I swear to God, if you delete 20 funny, fill your life with laughter and love.

I was actually highlighting it because it started to come around along with this. Justin, have you actually, Justin, have you said it out loud? No, say it. Justin, say it. 20, 20 funny, fill your life with laughter. Yeah. That one's good. 20 funny, fill your life with laughter.

And the thing is, is it does what it says right there on the box. It's so powerful. I want, I'm imagining the merch now. I'm imagining walking around with a fucking jacket on it and on the back, it'd be like a cool like tribal print. It also says 20 funny, fill your life with laughter and love. I think it's the first one we've ever come up with that actually, in saying it, fills your life with laughter.

It does, it fills the goal right there just by saying it out loud. Can we please, I'll do it. I promise, 2021, I'll bow out and you two can pick it. I won't get a vote. I am ready to relent. I am ready to grant this to 20 funny, fill your life with laughter. I will too. If I could get through it one time without saying it, without laughing, I mean.

I also will say though, if there's an underground contingent that wants to always say funny, honey, fill your life with laughter and bees, that's up to you. No. I can't stop you from doing it. That's like the fucking Weird Al version of our theme. What you have to understand, Travis, is that you have, I don't want you to bastardize your art because 20 honey down to business is way better than that bullshit.

That is it. You have made a pale mockery of 20 funny, fill your life with laughter and love. 20 honey down to business is its own thing. If we're going to have a shadow camp, I feel like it's got, I think 20 honey down to business. I feel, I just like the phrase business. Oh, we all do. We all do.

Okay. You can also, okay. So there it is. It's settled. 20 funny, fill your life with laughter and love. Head on over to mackleroymerch.com and get your 20 funny, fill your life with laughter and love. Swag.

Hey, this is Griffin. I'm going to do these ads myself because we recorded this one a long time ago and didn't do the ads then. So I'm going to do them now and you're going to hear them later because that's how time works. Here's one for Stitch Fix. They're the ones with the box of clothes that they send to your house and you try them on and you smell them.

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I'm getting my textbooks. All right, we'll get off your back about it. One of the textbooks is labeled as recommended rather than required. Should I buy the recommended textbook? Nope. Or do most people manage just fine without it? Oh, you'll be okay. I would really appreciate your advice.

Happy New Year. That's from Alexis Ganner, Wisconsin. Alexis, you have asked this question of a man who in college, much to his shame and discredit, went to the radio station our dad worked at and zero copied an entire biology textbook to keep from having and then returned it to the bookstore. Nice.

This is who you're. This is the kind of people you're. Why would that be shameful? That's great. You know, it's bad for some people on the lines get ripped off. Here, books are hard enough to write without somebody photocopying them. Here's the thing.

And this is coming from a place of absolutely no research or experience or knowledge. Perfect. Perfect. But why are textbooks so dang dang expensive? That's great stuff. You know, it's like I can buy a book. I can go.

I can go to Barnes and Noble. Right. Here you go. And get a reference book. How much is it? About here's all the bugs or whatever. Right. Here's the book.

Here's the aisle, folks. It's a book about bugs and what? 30 bucks, 40 bucks. He's about to go off. He's about to die. But then I go to the university bookstore to get a book about bugs. And it's a hundred and eighty six dollars and forty two cents. Don't hurt him.

Please, are you telling me there's more bugs in that university book than in the book at Barnes and Noble? I don't think so. Justin, that sound sucks shit so bad. No, that was the wrong one. Let me try again. Thank you. That's not much.

This is Seinfeld for bugs. Can I go ahead and send Justin his award for having the most low quality Seinfeld stinger. My man's working with some fucking like one kilobyte. It sounds like you just opened a birthday card about Seinfeld. And that's what played when you opened it. It is a fully lost audio codec file. It is so fucked up that file. That's the Seinfeld theme that aliens hear when that finally reaches them across the expanse of space.

Yeah, I got you guys. It's bad. You don't need this book, though. What if it's a test? It's not going to be a test, though. Hey, if you guys ever thought about Debt Post Society when they tear those pages out of that books, those kids are going to be thinking like, I spent $150 on this book. It's fucking called privilege, man.

Dang, got it. Everything's online. The whole thing's on the internet. The whole thing is. If I Google, what are the bugs? It's just going to pop up. You don't need this optional book. It's optional.

I once in college, it was like one of those government classes, you know, a polypside class everyone has to take. And there was like probably 200 people in the class and the professor got up and started asking questions about the reading. And like the first five people he pointed to, like, didn't do the reading. And he said, did anybody do the reading? Raise your hands if you did the reading. And nobody raised their hands, including myself, if I'm being honest.

And he just went fuck and walked out of the room. At which point the TA then said, I guess classes cancel. Please do the reading before next class. And it was never mentioned again by the professor. Didn't come up anymore, never asked any more questions about the reading. So. Did everybody in class simultaneously pull out their skateboards and grind out of the room?

Was this it? Next time he came and sat down, there were 30 whoopee questions. He couldn't even get into the chair. Maybe you shouldn't have accepted tenure at Cool University. That's the sound of grinding. Well, I think it was more just like all the students were like, well, you haven't ever asked questions about the reading before. And let's be honest, we're like 19.

Yeah. And it's could now hear Travis McRoy 36. He's like, God damn it. I wish I understood how, you know, the government worked better. But when I was 19, I was too busy partying. Sure. How about a Yahoo? Yeah, I love that.

You know what? I changed my mind. Alexis, buy the book. Don't read it now, but hold on to it for the next 17 years. Then read it because that's when you'll appreciate it. Yes, but they will have discovered so many new bugs. And also a lot of them bugs ain't going to be around anymore. Just because of the planet and also Timon and Pumba.

This Yahoo is sent in by Brian Donahue. Thank you, Brian. It's Yahoo Answers user Brandon who asks, What is the best way to smell good after eating lunch? I smell, I smell pretty fresh until I eat lunch. Every time after I eat lunch in school, I think I smell like food and I hate it. How can I solve this? Also, I'd like, I also, I'd like some tips on how to stay fresh the whole entire day.

Thank you for all of your answers. Also, I have these two Adidas colognes, pulse and force. If any of you know about these colognes, I would like your opinion on which one smells better. Thanks. So Brandon's kind of looking for an all day sort of general scent strategy. With the anchor being, he gets that lunch stink that we all know and hate so much. Yeah.

I mean, first step, you're going to need some kind of like, let's say maybe vinyl suit. Okay. Gloves, go just like full dexter on it. Maybe even lay out some plastic sheeting. Eat your lunch because clearly, however you're eating it, you're doing a very bad job. Here's the problem, Jeff. You can get a breaking bad hazmat suit and wear that while you're eating lunch, but where- That's more topical than dexter.

Yes, thank you. How does the food get through the decontamination layer? Tubes. But your osmosis is the problem. Is your osmosis in the garlic? Like once it's internal, that's the day. Well, you could do a lot of, you know, a lot of simp, like a lot of neutral foods. Oh, like what?

Like what, Travis? What's a neutral food? Plain wheat fins. Okay, but think about this. If you only eat that, think of a food where if someone said, oh, that guy, he smells like wheat fins. It's maybe worse. It's worse.

It's bad. That's bad. Somebody's going to be like, somebody smells like a spicy puttanesca and it's a strange human smell, but I don't hate it. If that's like, that's Tony. That's wheat fins, Tony. Okay, what is a neutral food? My man smells like a pantry over there.

It's a plain, uncooked pasta. Oh, just have a little crunchy diversion. Yeah. Some of us have become accustomed to that. Well, the question I asked her didn't, isn't worried about the visuals, right? Or the sound. Only the scent. Right.

The smell. It's not, it's no, it's no good. And also clearly pulse is better. Pulse is better than force. Yes. In any scenario. Also, Adidas, why are you naming your colognes after like X-Men powers? Yeah.

Another, another good question for Adidas, Travis. Because neither pulse nor force. Add it to the list. Neither pulse nor force conjure any kind of olfactory meaning to me. Like pulse, pulse does, pulse is like, I'm excret, I'm excreting something in a steady rhythmic manner. Okay. I guess, which is how we all want to excrete smell.

It's pulsating, sniff it. Yeah. That's where they're, You don't want a big spike of smell. You want a slow pulse of smell all day, which I think is what the question asker is looking for. I think that the school shower as a concept is, it was antiquated when I was in school. Yes.

The fact that they were like, go play baseball. And I was like, I don't want to play baseball, but I'll do it for a, for a good grade. For a Klondike bar. Those are important to me. Good grades and Klondike bars are both important to me. Get nude and wet. No. No.

That one I'm not going to do. I'm just going to go be, I'm not going to effort very much at baseball. I'll split the difference. That's why I took individual dual sports, which included such sports as golf, archery, ping pong. I was a big ping pong fan. Now let me say this. If they had just had the showers available at school,

anytime you needed to freshen up, I wouldn't have used them still back then. But nowadays, like that idea resonates with me. These days, I don't want to always shower right when I wake up first thing in the morning, because I don't know what kind of stinky business I'm going to get into that day. Right. Yeah. Now, let me eat my stinky fucking lunch and then I'll go have a spritz and then I'll go rinse off. It's also 20 funny.

Are you telling me that we don't have the technology to build like a human washing machine, like a car wash for humans that I don't need to get nude in? A coffin that just blasts me. I'm just saying I should be able to fully clothed, step into it, soaks me, then powerful dryers. Okay. And I step out and I'm totally clean, including my clothes. Because here's the thing Griffin, you eat a powerful stinky lunch, right? You get clean, your clothes still smell like the food.

That's possible. That's possible. I do think that there is going to be a funny, a 20 funny scenario where like I go in there with a wool sweater. And then it blasts me and then when I come out, the sweaters all shrunk down and everybody sees my abs. Yes. That could be funny though. Like it's not necessarily a bad thing. I think you know the risks when you go in there and all your clothes get small and you can step out

and be like, oh no, I have tract disease or something like funny punch line. Something big. Oh, I got big, you know, mint. Like for your whole body? Just like a mint. Well, that's good for the mouth, Justin. What about your face where the food rubbed on? And what about my arms and legs where the food rubbed on because I did drop them?

Rub the mint. Rub the mint. Rub the mint all over. Rub the mint. Yeah. All over you. Is it too late for 20 rub the minty? That's good.

Yeah. Let me rub the mint all over my lap so I get a good burn going on down there, Justin. What? This is my, I'm using it now to bail out a thing. Not to freshen up the show, but to save myself. Okay. I want a munch. Squad.

I want to munch. Squad. Welcome to Munch Squad. This is the podcast of the podcast. But the latest in grace and brand eating. I want to thank Kendra for sending this one my way. My Munch Squad Rangers. My Munch Squadron.

What did their elf I see? They're out there. They're getting a little bit local. Shade grown. Farm to podcast. Munch squads. This is from a restaurant called Spangles. Spangles.

And I think it's in Kansas because this is from the Wichita Eagle. This story about Spangles. It long ago passes 21st birthday. It turns 42 in January. But as of this week, it's now legal to drink. The chain is adding 90. This is such a fucking disaster. So, okay, a little background.

Spangles looks like a sort of a burger and chicken sandwich. Kind of like a almost looks like a checkers or like a Carl's juniors, you know, in that neck of the woods. You know, maybe like rallies. That kind of vibe, right? That is checkers. You can't say it twice. Okay.

Thank you. So, the chain is adding 99 set margaritas and screwdrivers to its menu on Friday at its restaurant near 21st and Woodlawn. Here's a quote from Dale Stephen, who co-owns Spangles with his brother Craig. Sound like fun, guys. We're just going to do one store to work out the little training in kinks. After that, we will implement it in all the stores. The impetus for drinks comes from increasing fast, casual competitors that serve alcohol.

This is another quote from Dale Stephen. You can't go anywhere with your family that doesn't have alcohol. Whoa, Dale. That's Stephen's remedy to that. It's not to try to make a, he doesn't try to make a refuge. He's taking it if you can't beat him. Join him kind of approach with this more than that. If you can't beat him, vastly undersell him and get them so fucking faded that they don't

know which way is up and they eat three too many burgers. Oh, see, that felt, oh, see, I was going to say it felt a little more like Dale was saying like, everyone, I don't go anywhere with my family that doesn't have alcohol. Yeah. I couldn't go to my own restaurant and it was shameful. But now I can because you couldn't get an alcohol at fast food restaurants except now you can. For 90, we're always trying to be unique, Stephen says. There's just a whole list of things that we always try to be the first at.

Apparently this checks off getting people fucking plowed for no money. Spangles has done drive-thru business in the evenings, but not much dining business. Quote, it kind of leaves a lobby that could use some excitement. In the evenings, all fast foods are relatively so. Oh, Stephen, I think things are about to get mighty excited. Dude, get your ass to Spangles. We are getting fucked up tonight. Yeah, we're going to Spangles for Doug's bachelor party.

Holy shit, Doug's going to die. He thinks drinks could be a draw. Quote, it's a diet and only product. No fucking shit, Dale. Dale, you told me you don't have the world's first drive-thru margarito. That seems like a choice idea. Just cruise on through and get marked from the road. If it's the morning times, treat yourself to a screwdriver.

Dig in between the car seats. Pull out enough money to buy three screwdrivers. It's party time. I'm actually, this is different for us, but the quotes in this story get so wet and wild. I'm going to share this, Griffin, I'm going to shoot this to your slack if you can. And will you just read the quotes and I'll read the story parts. Okay, this is how it's written down in the story. So like a call and response like we're in church.

But this is how it's written in the story. He says Spangles is known for its orange juice slush, so screwdriver slush made sense. Screwdrivers and margaritas, including lime and strawberry ones with salt or sugar rims, are inexpensive and quick to make, Steven said. We have to be fast. There won't be beer or wine at this point. It's down the road.

The margaritas will each be made with one and a half ounces of tequila, and the screwdrivers will have an ounce of vodka. It's delicious and it's got plenty of alcohol. He says that it's clear there's enough alcohol. The second you sip it. Steven said the drinks will be served in a heavy duty glass mug. It's going to be done right. That's the end of the story.

Dale, Steven, you're about to fucking pop off. Holy shit. Does this have alcohol in it? Sip it. Hey guys, Spanglers is broken bad. Sip it and you shall know the truth. Please, if you're near this area, please hit a wrist Spangles and send us a picture of this smoking wreckage.

When they start getting people plowed on 99 cent margaritas. God bless. It's delicious though, and it does got plenty of alcohol, approximately one and one half ounces. Enough to sip it and know. At least the mugs are heavy duty so that when they are thrown frequently, they will get tremendous ballistic damage. When they're tossed at your server for not bringing the mustard fast enough

because you're fucking drunk. Oh boy. And demanding mustard for a mustard magic trick. Your buddy says he knows how to do if only that fucking waitress would bring the fucking mustard already. This mustard trick is going to really quote, blow your ass apart. Wow.

Oh boy. We want to be the first. First with margaritas. Well, first to have an onsite murder, first Spangles location. That's also a crime scene. That's the kicks they're going to work out. Like, hey, so we're just going to do it in what we're calling our most expendable store.

I feel bad for those people who are on the slab there for the first time. Hey boss. For the first time. Hey boss. Hey. We just got the magnus printer. It says 99 cent. That can't be it, right?

This can be right. Hey boss, it's our first night of this promotion. I did want to ask how many windows do you have at your house kind of saved to replace the windows here? Because we're on our third window already. You're just wondering. Can we get some chicken wire up in front of the registers? Can you just fucking like roadhouse this entire establishment?

That would be great. Could you get us a chiller fleet? No, not a refrigerator. Somebody to cool out kind of when the fights happen. Thanks y'all for hanging out with us. Welcome to 20 Funny. We are so happy to that you've stayed with us for it'll be a decade this year. It'll be this April.

We'll mark the 10th anniversary of my brother, my brother, me as improbable. So wild. As that may be. So thank you for your continued indulgence. I also want to say so as of recording this, we have not had a baby yet. My wife and I. We had a baby. It's a boy.

But any day now that baby is going to be born and that's probably going to chunk up the release schedule a little bit and kind of, I don't know, we might put up some live shows or maybe a couple like best stuff. And I appreciate your understanding as I try to reconfigure my life with two children instead of just one. Hey, here's the good news. It's impossible. Oh, cool.

We are going to be coming to Cincinnati. Well, Travis will be in since Travis won't be leaving Cincinnati on February 19th and the 20th. That's Mbem Bam and the Adventure Zone respectively. If you want to get tickets there on sale now, you can go to mackleroy.family, click on tours, and buy tickets. Please come see us in Cincinnati or in the area. We would very much appreciate you showing up and being a part of that because it's going to be fun.

Like Justin mentioned, we put up new merch at the beginning of every month. So when you're hearing this, there's probably some fun new merch up at mackleroymerch.com or you can get to it through mackleroy.family. Thanks to John Roderick and the Long Winters for these for a theme song and set apart. You're out the album putting the days to bed. And also thank you to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. Go to Maximum Fun. One last thing real quick.

We are doing a board game version of the Adventure Zone. You can go pre-order that at theadventuresongame.com. You have what, like, 10 days now? If I'm doing the math right, 11 days, something like that as you're listening to this. So don't sleep on that. Go pre-order that game. And also Griffin and I have relaunched our video game podcast, The Besties. It's exclusively on Spotify.

So head on over to Spotify and listen to it there. That's our video game podcast. Thank you. I'm doing a cuss show, Cincinnati Underground Society Show here in Cincinnati. So go get those tickets if you haven't yet. And I'll tweet about it so you can find it there. And also, as long as you're pre-ordering stuff, go to theadventuresongame.com and pre-order Book 3, Pedals to the Metal, which comes out in July.

All right. I'm going to fill this shit with laughter and love. Okay. Thanks, Maximum Fun. You cut me off the middle of it, but they provide a great service. Emma Cott sent this one in. It's from Yahoo Answers. Thank you, Emma.

It's Yahoo Answers' user, Jonathan, who asks, How many love-actually cast members can you name in 100 seconds and who are they? Please time yourself. What? It was just McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. Keira Knightley? I'm Griffin McRoy.

I was going to say Keira Knightley. Kiss your dad. Square on Bill Knightley. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. Hi, I'm Alli Gertz.

And I'm Julia Prescott. And we host Round Springfield. Round Springfield is a new Simpsons podcast that is Simpsons adjacent. In its topic, we talk to Simpsons writers, directors, voiceover actors, you name it, about non-Simpsons things that they've done because surprise, they're all extremely talented. Absolutely. For example, David X Cohen worked on the Simpsons,

but then created a little show called Futureama. That's our very first episode. So tune in for stuff like that with Yardley Smith, with Tim Long, with different writers and voice actors. It's going to be so much fun. And we are every other week on Maximumfun.org, or wherever you get your podcasts.