My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 52: Ruggratz

Episode Date: April 25, 2011

We warn you: This particular episode is so chock-full of handy Easter tips, you'll wish you could time travel back to yesterday or, rather, 364 days into the future, to a time where that kind of information would be even remotely relevant. Also, we briefly rap about Apollo Four-Forty. Suggested talking points: JC Chasez' Hang Glider of Success, Robodope, Weddingmania, Wolf Blitzer is Made of Light, King of Computertown, Dudekisses, Sexy Egg Hunt

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? It's a new face And the girls, do you want it? Just say, hey, I want it Just say, hey, I want it Guess who's back? Back again

JC's back Tell a friend That's right folks Our main man JC Stone rolled away What's up? What's up now? Said it couldn't be done Sorry haters

I thought you were talking about the second coming of JC Shazae whose career has been in a major, has hit a major updraft lately I'd say that updraft is the perfect word, he's gliding on his success I think He's on a hang glider of success So this is our special Easter edition, the Stone of Ignorance has been rolled away there in its place is us My name is Justin McElroy I'm Travis McElroy

I'm Griffin McElroy We are still alive but we're sleeping in there Can I say something? I don't want to offend anyone So I can't stress enough how much this next statement has no religious connotations whatsoever But of all the holidays that you really look forward to as a kid Easter is the only one that doesn't translate to adulthood You think?

There's no baskets when you're like okay So when you're a kid you celebrate Christmas and you're an adult and of course Christmas rules And then you get Halloween and then you get to be an adult and you get to drink and dress up Yeah, Halloween gets better I would say Halloween doesn't get better And like St. Patrick's Day just gets way more awesome when you get older Why do you even have St. Patrick's Day of your kid?

What are you doing? Putting your friends in your friends But then Easter like what's the adult equivalent of an Easter basket? Well by most people see when they reach adulthood or so they're so scared of dying is the thing So this day is it's super wicked because it means you get to like live forever. I guess what about um Jello eggs ain't nothing wrong with that That's pretty cool What about doughnut eggs man? You guys get those in here?

Cake eggs Fake eggs Cake cake cake Fake eggs are our baller because it's like I like rake eggs which are their eggs and they're so big you have to eat them with a rake These are delicious This is my brother my brother meets an advice show for the modern era I'm just do we cover our names yet? I think we already did that

Thank you again to everyone who came out to see us perform live in Chicago On my birthday our next on his birthday our next live show is in the works Uh no details yet, but um and you could always come see my one-man show at the chugglehut Fake in the funk fake in the funk starring Travis McElroy. We can say where our live show will not be Okay, like west coast Sorry guys. Sorry guys. Eventually. We'll get there. We know that there's a brother franchise out in the west coast Yeah, we're like rallies like

We're sure there's a ton of people who actually i'm sure because I see that info on our statistics page that we have a lot of listeners in california as it We will get after Griffin and i will be out there in june. We just can't get Travis out there. Well, okay We will we will do we will get out there eventually. That's why this nation is this nation is so God damn gigantic too big for its own good Yeah, too big to fail if we could if we could just get rid of the bread basket We might be able to to get over westward, but yeah can't do it now. Uh bread basket Yeah, sorry basket basket

Um, so so let's get into the uh the questions or we did need to talk about something else though. Oh my god Griffin about what happened about my fucking psychic abilities. Yeah about your ability to prognosticate into the future I need to stop making jokes because apparently my jokes are future truths And I don't want to like cause the end of the world with a future truth, right? I was people sent me this link a lot this past week. This is from espn, which is like my favorite website um Here's the headline you ready? Philly bought to crank out first pitch

Yes, that's right The the university of pennsylvania has crafted a one armed three wheeled robot That threw out the opening pitch before wednesday's game Between the fillies and the brewers At philly at philly diamond. That's what they call a robot. You know a motherfucking robot They spent so much time thinking about if they could they didn't stop to think about if they should Or if they could They did they did they guess like they thought about that pretty hard because they did it

Uh the ball appeared to be traveling no more than 30 or 40 miles an hour Do you know what this sounds like to me? This sounds like a beard It sounds to me like they're trying to throw off everyone's scent like oh look we made a little wacky robot We put a pinwheel on him. Isn't he harmless? Meanwhile in their fucking bullpen. They got roy holiday They got cliff lee who are human-shaped robots who can pitch a ball Fast enough to to throw it through a car. Yeah, the robot is trying to throw us off It's the old ropa dope the ropa the robo dope the robo dope and he's saying You actually heard him. They said they he don't have speech circuits, but he actually said after he threw it

Uh, that was as hard as I can But he said that I'm just the robot. I'm just a robot There was a press conference afterwards and a reporter stood up He was like I heard Cole Hamels has bionic legs and arms and they shot him They they killed him on the spot the robot threw you know 30 40 doesn't sound that bad until it's a robot That's eight feet away and it loves the air rain All right, so let's get right to the questions. Uh, how do I get my roommate to stop chewing with his fucking mouth open? Whenever he eats something I can hear his disgusting mouth noises from across the room

I've told him multiple times it makes you want to vomit, but he still does it. What a fucking cow Furious, I hope he was typing this like as his roommate. Watch He's right looking over his shoulder You could do what jesson used to do whenever I chewed with my mouth open and just stand across the room going Did it work? Yeah, it worked. Yeah, it worked guys. I don't want to this may not be the best time to get into this Why you you both have bad mouth chewing? policies and practices You both chew poorly. Well, I don't take dainty bites

Travis takes Travis is like In a race Travis is trying to figure out how few bites he can use to consume Because Travis is all about energy conservation and chewing chewing burns those precious calories that he's gaining from eating his pizza bagel My friend and uh trevor in college said I eat like I look like someone's about to take my food away from me You do like it's some sort of post apocalyptic future and you've just found this can of gravy God forbid anyone tries to move my bowl. I will take your hand off. Yeah, he's brutal Well, it's it's hard because he he uh, it sounds like you sounds like a pretty good

Pretty good, uh, little ploy you used on there telling him that makes you want to throw up I think you've tried the direct approach. Maybe uh, maybe start Stealing all the food in the house so he didn't have any food and then he has to eat somewhere else. What about that? I'm gonna say You give him the sliced alone treatment and you go right over the top You smack and you jaw as loudly as you possibly can every single thing that you eat Like if you could work moans into it Like you're getting some sort of like pseudo sexual satisfaction from that taco I've eaten some pretty good tacos before actually now that this might just be wishful thinking and like

Really optimistic, but I think that the problem is is that people can't hear their own mouth sounds like Yeah, they can sure they think that people can listen to themselves chew and they're like that's not so bad I think when you eat a good meal you get all your senses into it You want to touch it you want to taste it you want to smell it you want to see it and you want to hear it And you really want to add to that satisfaction by like letting yourself know that you're doing a good job eating And that's the thing you're eating is making your mouth feel good That's what i'm saying moan it up like by the way If if I ever if I ever say hey

What's up with all the eating noises and you go to tell me that it's considered High praise in some countries you better fucking have a plane ticket in your pocket That's that's because otherwise Because you'll make them move you'll make them move away What do you threat make they better they better be flying to a place where it's acceptable like they better be in practice like in training Trying to get ready to eat like a like a A cave man We're just telling him to he's only allowed to eat in secret spaces

Like he has to go into his room. He can't eat in and shared spaces anymore Are is this a thing referring to your bedroom as your secret space? this is a thing It didn't catch on here. I guess you know I said that out loud and Now I feel go to your secret space darryl What you should just be happy that he does make chewing sounds because what if he didn't have a mouth? Then you'd feel bad. What if you were dead? What if you were deaf and you couldn't hear any sounds? celebrate

Maybe count your blessings griffin, but you know what I need I do um How about this this one's sent in by golly a olly? Thanks, sir. Oh ma'am. That's by y'all who answers. She's your big jeff big jeff big jeff asks Wrestling themed wedding I want to get married in a wrestling ring. I've got plenty of money to spend my dad won the lottery in 2008 My girlfriend doesn't even like wrestling

But I do and I want to get married in a wrestling ring And then I want brock lesnar to come in and beat the shit out everybody. You know like he does And I want him to f5 my obese aunt What I don't want a man to attack my new wife, so I want kelly kelly to come out And f you my girlfriend which would be hot because my girlfriend is a little bigger than kelly kelly Yeah, I bet judging from this question. I bet she's a little bigger. I think I've only told my girlfriend I want to get married in a wrestling ring and she hates it frowny face emoticon So so you say hey, do you want to get married wrestling? Uh, no, I don't okay. Well, what about this?

What if I consult the internet let me pay you a picture I'm gonna move forward as though you said yes. I've got a loose outline Um, it involves kelly kelly You know your mom's sister. She's a little overweight. We're gonna get brock lesnar to f5 her We're gonna get we're gonna get brock lesnar to furiously try to reload your aunt You know, it's great because I don't know who any of these people are He might as well be saying like completely made up mythological names Chavis me it's just completely insane if kelly kelly is a real person who's become famous for professional wrestling

I'm gonna go hang myself What happened to Griffin kelly kelly kelly kelly he saw kelly kelly and hung himself man This is a did you go to uh, did you go to big jeff's wedding? Yeah, it was pretty good until the end brock lesnar came Came out and beat the shit out of everybody. Who was that? Is that a real person? Yeah, I think so as I get it barely is it was like 50 to 1 and he whooped everyone's ass, you know like he does Like he does like he does that's brock lesnar for you They put the cake at the top of a ladder. They had a ladder match A ladder match for the cake. Yeah, of course. Although that obese aunt that fat mom sister. She got right in there

After she got reloaded in case anyone was wondering I imagine that it's like when you see a stand-up comic in in like everyday life and you're like be funny I bet going into a wrestler and be like punch me. He's like, oh man. I'm off the clock. I don't I don't want to punch just Yeah, but presumably if if uh, this lesnar person is making an appearance at your soran individual He's been compensated richly for the the axe beating. He was about to deliver it to everyone like he does Is that what wrestling fans are really like? Are they really like

Okay, if I if I was a big wrestling fan and I'm at the rock and the rock beat the shit out of me I don't think I'd be a wrestling fan anymore I think I'd I think I'd be a litigant actually. I think I would maybe find like another hobby Yeah, uh I I don't I don't think that that would continue to be one of my my real passion is wrestling. It really caught fire after uh, uh Jake snake Roberts kicked me in the crotch and threw me down a well I was big just sweating. It was okay. Uh instead of handing out rice to throw they handed out folding chairs

I'm Booker Booker T killed both of them with a folding chair So probably not the best wedding. So they're dead now. Yeah, I got my Cuisinart back And I got to shake hands with jimmy superfly snooker. So it's it's pretty good. I guess pretty good wedding overall It was a pretty good wedding. Ray mystery. Ray mysterio officiated Oh, listen, I I swear that was hacksaw jim dougan. Damn it. I was trying to come up with the hacksaw jim dougan jim You should have been like me and not come up with one to say his name In some sort of context undertaken

Triple h. What are we doing? Yeah, do you want my paul bearer impersonation? Say yes You know what i'm just assuming he's christian these could be jewish services too They could they could smash a commemorative plastic cup at the end They could they could hoist big juff up on a chair and then pull it out from under him and hit him with it I'll take it back. This sounds like a pretty good wedding. I think jeff's wife is being kind of a bitch Sounds awesome Oh, man, it would make the processionals way cooler

Oh my god. Yeah, it said if you come surprise your own fucking theme music and jump over the ropes Yeah, it was so romantic. She walked down the aisle to crazy train There were fireworks and shit. That's pretty cool. Um, I I think that this I big jeff I I usually don't try to get into uh I I don't I don't get into these things. I don't get into these uh sorts of conflicts, but I think your wife I think your wife is wrong on this one. I think you're right Although witsuck if he Showed up and they tried to pull the Montreal screw job on him and he had to marry somebody else

Um, what's is that? That's deep. That's a deep cut. There's one wrestling fan out there who just laughed Trust me. He he he's in stitches. Uh, I'm getting married later this year. Wow I just found out that not one but possibly two of my groomsmen may not be able to make it to my wedding They're both in the navy. So their schedule is dictated by our commander in chief What do I do? Should I find a couple of second stringers take their place or should I make two of my other groups and walk down the Down with two stinky possibly cootie infested girls rich from seattle. Ooh, whatever you do Don't tell the replacement of their second stringers

Yeah, yeah, that's not a good. That's not a good framing for it Although they probably know that they're not as good as two dudes who are in the navy Yeah, that's true navy men naval officers I hate to hear this because that's a tough. That's a tough one because you know, you want it to be those people I mean, I'm sure they'd understand Yeah, um, but You gotta you gotta have a sit down with that commander in chief. Yeah, what up Obama? You gotta you gotta go talk to berry and you gotta figure it out

Say listen, let's spend these schedules. Hey quick. Let's jaw for a second. Hey Hey, give me some of these jelly beans berry. I know you're busy Berry So help me work this out for sake. What is he asking here? He wants to know if he if it's I think it's what he's really asking is it is it acceptable to have backups Is it acceptable to have to have uh, what's the theater term? Understudies. Yeah

Can you have that for a wedding? I don't understand though. He says should he find second stringers to take their places or should I make Two of my other groomsmen walk down with two stinky possibly cuddly invested girls. I'm not sure I understand When I think he's asking do you have someone double up and like oh one bridesmaid with Yeah, two bridesmaids on either side. Okay. Nice. Whoa. Yeah, that's a pretty bad. You're no longer a groomsman. You're a you're a coxman The problem is it's like this is ladies, man If you don't get second stringers if you don't get understudies Your side is going to be out of balance from your bride side. Yeah, that's true and your bride is not going to like that

Yeah, whoa. Hey speaking witch dog Why are you asking us? You are not making this decision, sir Sorry friend. You can have all the opinions you want about this. This is not up to you You know what you could do what wrestling wedding and then it wouldn't matter if it was unbalanced Because it you could have a fucking royal rumble And you would think oh you would think like the the two friends in the navy. They're out of town But then they totally come in with Tag in and like fucking kick a dude in the face. I thought they were tired from weddings

This is amazing Who said is oh my god, it's true carry the true carry is in the mix now See that's appropriate. Well, he was in the he was in the navy right and he was in the royal rumble My grooms would look a lot older than I remember them They don't look like they're in very good shape But their face paint looks amazing. Did you see kelly kelly? She looks so beautiful Assuming it's a she she looks beautiful

Assuming kelly kelly is a woman. She's one of the she's part of the glow right the gorgeous ladies of wrestling Is that still an entity is it? I haven't kept up. That is the most offensive name I've ever heard Is that really a title for a group? I don't think it's extant, but yes, like I I They used to show gorgeous ladies of wrestling um Saturday mornings, I think um, I think you got to go with two second

Two second stringers Holograms Holograms if you tell me that the navy doesn't have that kind of technology You can fuck right off because they all live in boats under the sea What is the odds on cardboard cutouts? What is what is the situation with that? There's a group that the lady could like just kind of carry down What about animatronics? Oh, shit I love animatronics if you call the fungineers at disney, they'll set you right up the sorry the fungineers

The fungineers. Yeah, they were fun. Yeah, the imagine odds the imagine odds imagineistas Guys, listen, we don't need to give him any given creation oids We don't need to give him a bunch of funny baloney bullshit answers like cardboard cutouts and robots. Let's talk about holograms Let's talk about real tech. Will I am taught me this technology exists? I have seen wolf blitzer made of light As opposed to the regular wolf blitzer that's made of pure darkness He's the most hateful man in america That's that's statistics rich. I think you got to get backups just just get two other guys, you know sort of well

And if your roommates or your your good groomsmen should happen to make it you just got to go give those guys a little heave-ho And bonus if they kind of look like your two original choices and you only shoot them in wide shots It's good to and they but they do have to do their stunts uh Last year I met an incredible girl who I've since developed feelings for Unfortunately, she was in a relationship at the time recently. However, they've gone through a messy and drawn out breakup Uh, so now she's single but seems to have a fair bit of baggage to deal with I know she's interested in me and I think I can make her happy

The problem is that I've been with girls who just come out of relationships before and it's always turned out pretty badly Am I better off giving her space now and risk missing my chance? Or making a move in the hope that this time will be different Tim girls fresh out of Relationships the you know that I've heard that referred to the rebound they call it sometimes Um, yeah the rebound well

Yes, but like I started dating Teresa pretty fresh out of a relationship Granted that one wasn't messy or drawn out or anything I think that that's the component of this that is not that she's fresh out of relationship, but that it didn't end well That's where it gets a little bit Dice I think that anytime I think you gotta put your heart out there I don't think you can worry too much about the situations that lead people into Um, we're we're you know where they ended up when I started dating my wife. She was out of a Four or five year relationship, uh fresh out matter of fact

She was just waiting for her her knight in shining armor her her her special warrior as I refer to myself To you know, I sweep her off her feet. I've totally flipped. I'm with you Justin What's the worst that's gonna happen like so either you don't take a shot Where you take a shot and it doesn't work out the end result is still the same But what if you take that shot and it totally works out? Yeah, take that shot. There's there's other girls. Trust me I got another shot and here's another kind of what if you what if you die before the end of this podcast? What if you should start here's what you do in fact bad news You will die at the end of this podcast. We'll try to we'll try to like stretch it out as much as we can

You have one podcast left to live if you only had one podcast left. I would just spend it with us. I hope but Um, yeah, it tell me you just got to just call her right now Live like phone live like you were dying at the end of this podcast I'm picking up caller. Fuck it. Right. I mean if it doesn't if it doesn't work out. Oh, well, you learned a valuable lesson Yeah, it sounds like you may have already actually learned that lesson before with other girls But you obviously haven't learned it hard enough. You'll you'll still be alone And you'll still be facing imminent death Yep, just what's up now

What is up? Welcome to our comedy podcast Welcome to our comedy podcast that we have together. It's called death is creeping Death be creeping you best be calling that's that's our new that's our new segment where you realize you may Make peace with your impending doom and you just go ahead and call her already Uh, this yahoo was sent in by louis dog. Thanks louis dog. It's by yahoo answers user leprechaun tory leprechaun tory asks My best friend and I are starting up a babysitting company where we live and we need a name any help Right she's 14 and I'm gonna be 14 in May

We are both cpr certified and we both most definitely want to be babysitters Our names are aja her and victoria me, but I like to be called tory Thank you to all who help and tribute We had a name, but we decided we didn't like it. It was monsters and fairy tales, but it didn't stick with us Um Baby smothers incorporated. Nope. Nope. Nope. That's not really bad. No, that's pretty bad marginally better than monsters and fairy tales Honey look in the phone book for something relating to babysitters

Well, we got monsters and fairy tales. I don't know what kind of service or product they provide though What about the snuggle core? Is that good like c orps? Yes, c orps. What about the snuggle army? That is also my favorite. It's my favorite genre by the way right now snuggle core It's really good That's what hinder is right. I've never heard hinder is snuggle core Let me just let me drop some what about enron They're not using it anymore. Enron a babysitting um

This I have a few yahoo responses Oh, good. John says prestige worldwide Wait, what prestige? Yeah, like prestige only you spell it wrong because you're 14 It's kind of like how kids bop has like a z and the z is also backwards Sure. Okay. Uh, hey a also kids bop. It's gonna be pretty good um Adriana says supersitters

care for critters What care for kids that's he is this leading Aja and tori the two that complete the story I what aja and tori more for the glory What what what are they are they are they barbarian? What is their what is their career more for the goal? This was some glorious babies hitting today tori The day is ours Tuz we shall we shall bathe this day in vahala

Youngsters helping the young ones That's good because you want to you want to get you want to really reinforce the or leaving your children with children other children Irresponsible children watching children babies helping babies Barely out of puberty ink the circle of baby help You can call it who's baby sitting who? Who let the babies out we would never that's what about that? That's pretty good, right? um runts and rug rats

See if there you have trademark issues With both the candy and the television gotta get some z's in there. You gotta get some z's Runtz Runtz And rug rats what about? rug with two g's To make it hard This is the most street babysitting

outfit i think ever pretty much If you want street babysitting, it's just really raw and really what's happening today Get rug It's it's hard to uh to to get on this baby's level Unless you are as street as it is We're talking like fresh out of the womb. There are babies who are so Street so so up was

Since since your baby was fresh out the womb. It's been so street. Where do you find care that matches that level of real core Authenticity I I find it with rug rats It's got two g's and a z and the z is backwards in the phone book I didn't know they could do they're gonna have to pay a premium for that. Yeah, but I think it's gonna be worth it Does yahoo have any other know that I zoned out because I started picturing street babies And i'm really happy. Yeah, I mean, I think it's a pretty positive mental image But if only we could write some jokes about it, too Like are we who can't you can't get lost along the path here?

You gotta know listen Travis is on to some next level shit because we don't really need to tell jokes anymore. We can just paint images And our listeners minds and then they can come up with the jokes themselves I am so imagine babies with gold teeth Everybody get this picture in your mind that Travis is painting really think about it Gold teeth bandana. Maybe a tattoo that says Uh rug's life good rug Okay, love it. That's it. What is that baby listening to baby tupac?

It's reincarnated tupac. No trick question Not your question. Tupac's still alive. So it's not reincarnated tupac Except it's T. W. O. Pock Because he's terrible terrible Tupac He's looks he's listening to uh, uh, fuck. What was the lamb chop big biggy fuck lamb chop, but also big Vicky lamb chop. Oh, fuck. You are zinging this one Listen, listen guys Listen, listen wait muppet babies only biggies in the mix

Muppet babies, but but but gangsters tell it tell the tubbies And and also busta Fuck no, see obviously these jokes aren't working. Just do it yourself Just wait, just wait. Listen, we could get you to there, but we want you to start making drinks on your own The magic was in you the whole time Just imagine Thug babies Uh, okay. Listen, we we've we've stalled for long enough. Uh, I think personally. I think we've we waited

Uh, for this for this journey we're about to take right now Just a bunch of friends headed to The Money Zone So So let's hear Curtis Warley wants us to wish his friend his dear friend rob mville I'm sorry. I tried rob mumblebub Rob mumblebub rob mulv-

Mulvihill. Yeah, that's it. That's good. Rob Mulvihill. I like mumblebub better. All right. Rob mumblebub a very happy 27th birthday rob Is a huge fan of mumblebub. We are a a little late on this one his birthday. It's b-day was april second Oh, okay, only 23 days late Hey, when you go when you go belated you go mumblebub. That's our that's our new Uh sales angle that we're using. Uh So so Tell me some things about rob German hit me with some rob some rob toys as we say

Um, well his name is very short Very very easy to spell very quick if you're on if you're doing a standardized test That's only three bubbles. It trips off the tongue right off the next one rob mumblebub right off the tongue No, you are still doing that wrong but go right ahead. Uh, tell me more. I'm intrigued. You know what the bup's favorite team is Tell me the detroit red wings. They play hockey Love it. Curtis warley has included this on his enumerated list of rob features Yeah, so he took us right to the rob zone and he wrote Um, detroit red wings parentheses hockey team. Thanks, Curtis

Thanks, Curtis because we're very confident. They are some people on this show that appreciate that kind of insight Um, what about his favorite metal band though? If I if you had to pick one right now Um, it actually doesn't say here's the thing Curtis I don't want to make Curtis paid for this message To to honor rob. So I don't want to make it all about Curtis, but I feel like I have to give him some advice Uh, as far as list making goes because he wrote some things about bob under oath You don't say is he in under oath because that'd be pretty fresh Is it a band that he likes is that a band he doesn't like

He hates under oath. You should see him. This is my friend rob. He is equivocal about under oath And then Curtis is really brought to home with his last one. Yeah beards Okay, does he have a beard? He has multiple beards Hey, this is multi beard rob. He's my dear dear friend. I love him very much He has a beard for all occasions. He did a good job with this exit though. He's a drummer. See that's that we could work with Yeah, we can make some giggles about that but beards He's got a beard on his chin. He's got a beard on his beard His nose has a beard. It's called a mustache

But he calls it his nose beard. That's why I love mumblebub. He's got a way with words mumblebub happy birthday Uh, sorry about your friend Curtis. He he does his heart's in the right place. God bless him But his list making abilities are in Oblivion they're in space. He doesn't possess them. They're they might as well not exist or other Uh, uh special special message this week is from pc perspective back Our first very first can't get enough repeat sponsor. I heard that their industry business numbers Yeah, just really good at their sums their money calculations. Um supply and demand

I hear it all went up 400 percent Whoa, wow right through that glass ceiling seems That's what that means smashed right through it We gave them we gave them a tune and we gave them that sponsorship and everybody's like I gotta get it They got so horny for PCs now Griffin. What does we what does pc stand for again? uh, it stands

For prickly cactus prickly cactus. Think about it. I'm not quite sure that's right PC perspective is a great spot for information in depth reviews on pc components and technology news They got a hardware leaderboard at pcperton.com forward slash h w l b great page for recognition see new pc builds without having to dive into tons of detail Guess what guys hit me. I just checked the leaderboard How's your rig my rig? It's number three. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. That's a big. That's a good rig. I bet it's putting up polygons like the only people who are above me are bill gates

and the apple bill gates Apple bill gates. Uh-huh. Just wow cool. And he's a pc user, huh? That seems odd to me. It is weird. Hey, know that enemy We want to discuss how odd that is. Did you get the pc performs? They got a podcast pcperton.com forward slash podcast Where they tell you about PC stuff It doesn't have as many jokes as ours, but unlike ours there is some worth

I hope it will actually better your life in some way I hope that they have jingles about us Yeah, I hope they've written a jingler to you about our show Uh, my brother my brother and me said if I show up, I'll nasty. I'm on the track. Let's start again So go to pcper.com Um, so what have you what do you worked up so far? I've been you know what I've been working on it all morning trying to get a Jingle together. Yeah can combine the magic of rob bum people and um pc perspective and the services that they both offer Um, and I'd like to take everyone back

I'd like to take everyone back on a journey with me to I would say the soundtrack of the year 2001. You think 2001? Yeah, all right, I think that was my freshman year of high school. I was really into apollo 440 back then Okay, so um, if you maybe if you saw lost in space the film, maybe if you saw Uh gone in 60 seconds the remake Uh, you'll know this this spoof Can't stop the rob Can't stop the rob

Can't stop the rob It can't stop the rob Can't stop the rob. You can't stop the rob. Can't stop the rob You can't stop the rob can't stop the rob. You can't stop the rob Can't stop the rob can't stop the rob That's all right. Hold on That's the only That's the goof and I you know how long I worked on that

All right, so what what I can so if we had to do a pros and cons of that Rob heavily featured Rob Con The lack of any concrete details about this Rob person or our secondary sponsor PC product Other than that though fucking slam like son derro He likes at Detroit red wings He has a number of beards He's got a last name. That's impossible to pronounce. He's the king of

Computer town He's the king of Computer town He reads P see per Dot com They've got forums And a podcast Starring

There it is he brought it home now except for your insistence that Rob is the star of the PC per podcast What have you listened to the PC per podcast You know what I did I did Rob I did not catch him Let me ask you a second question a follow-up. Okay, have you seen gone in 60 seconds? Yeah Don't feel like you guys got this song like you guys got the goof or the spoof. I have a friend Who's a girl? I'm a guy who steals all my male friends I'll meet someone new and then as soon as they meet this girl They start hanging out with her instead of me a fact she constantly reminds me of I've got a chance to win back

Her most recent theft at a wedding all three of us are attending. I need some good advice What could I do to win back this bromance? Thomas, you know, it's funny. We should get that question Not it's not a spoof. This is not a goof and not I don't know an hour or two later We received this question I have a friend who's a guy that claims I keep stealing his bros because they end up calling me to hang out instead of him But I can't help that one I'm more fun to hang out with and two. I'm a girl. He's currently trying to claim our newest Canadian friend for himself

How can I keep from him boxing me out of this friendship and upcoming wedding is the next time we all hang out in the same Holy shit, is that the best time to make my move? Obviously, I'll be looking hot Daniel Danielle Yeah, Danieli got on that second pass, but This is incredible has this ever happened before this is a the dueling Hey, brothers. I hate Jeff. Love Mark. Hey, brothers. I hate Mark

I Man, this is a toughie. I feel like Thomas What? There's something in Thomas's question where he does not realize this sort of like insurmountable Millennial long odds that he's up against here like yeah, it's the Like it's a the basic heartbeat of the species that is that is thwarting you not anything about yourself personally I God guys, I don't want to keep beating a dead horse here, but the best solution is wedding mania 29

Again you smash Thomas with a folding chair a wrestle wedding three friends enter two friends leave see That's what we do another we get another ladder match We put your friends on top of the ladder and then Thomas and Danielle or Daniel Lee They just go right at it. I want to know what kind of cruel intentions like world these two people are living in that they are Constantly competing over new friends. Hey, did you did you stick steel fill up for me? Well, I mean like we went to Denny's last night. It's what you mean like yeah, you son of a bitch You son of a bitch last night another one Daniel Denny's was our special place You asshole, I told you that in confidence

I told you about their how good their griddle cakes are just with secret. I thought was a secret Why can't you just all be friends? Why can't you all three be friends? Is it collect every guy wants to is that the thing is this like like is there a third? Is there another perspective from a friend who's like I was hanging out with this guy and he had a sexy friend and then I Hung out with her and now she's they're both getting weird about it They just cry all the time. It sounds like Danielle is saying that Thomas kind of sucks to hang out with Thomas, but he is a great Facilitator of new friendships. He's like a realtor of friendship. Oh, so Thomas brings them in and then Danielle is the one who closes

Right. Yeah, exactly. That's bullshit, man. Danielle. You got to pass some of that Some of that sweet friendship juice back to Thomas pass him on down pass it on the line Share with your buddy. Danielle's not doing anything wrong. She's just better than Thomas. Yeah, listen Nobody's saying that Thomas nobody's saying Danielle isn't better than Thomas like that much is obvious just from there Do you know how many emoticons? Thomas used in his email zero, you know, I don't know how he's feeling He's like it's like talking to data Danielle used one and it was a winky face, which is my very favorite emoticon No, Thomas, you know what helps don't refer to your friendships as bromances. Yeah, that would that probably I just met

This new guy and we're in a bromance. Why doesn't he want to hang out anymore? We got fly dude kisses all the time I think he's a real brome sexual just like myself, but I I really love hanging out with him. Can we start referring to like I Start calling like high fives and fist pounds and like chest bumps. Can we just refer to those as dude kisses? Just gave him a big bro smooch. It's not a big thing Game a double fist pound. It was real European How they do it there I'm gonna get dude kisses going. I'm gonna get it started. I

Think you should I think that would be cracking Danielle stop being so stop being so fucking greedy Thomas is still Thomas be more awesome Why don't you go back in the annals of the history find a friend that you don't like anymore and give it back to Thomas? Yeah, oh, so you're saying like hand me down friends exactly like make new friends keep the old and give some to Thomas Yeah, give some back to Thomas. Yeah, I don't appreciate it Think of it as friend a friendship tax because Thomas does a lot for you vis-a-vis like getting you friends Exactly got a kickback like 20% back to him and then 10% of their speed 10% in the social security

So that when you're old and like ready for death You have some friends. They're waiting for you Griffin yahoo's I need some Okay, I found these I found two and I'm gonna try and combine them into one super question because they're topical Okay All right, here we go. Yeah, who answers you your prego asks What to do for Easter with no kids? My husband and I have no kids. Well, we are expecting congratulations

Way to go guys. Are there are there any ideas that we can do for Easter? I think it's gonna be raining Sunday to something fun like a sexy egg hunt or something. Excuse me. Sorry Like a sexy egg hunt or something. It's the world's the world's fastest egg hunt Yeah, who answers user Corsair asks, what are some good ideas for my boyfriend's Easter eggs? My boyfriend and I are being silly this year and having an egg hunt and we're filling each other's eggs with little things I filled about half with candy, but I need some cute sexy ideas to fill the rest I'd like a few of them to be rather suggestive, but nothing is coming to mind The trick is that whatever it is it has to fit inside of one of those plastic eggs help

So two questions. I think the first is more Sexy egg hunt general topic ideas. Where does one hide a sexy egg hunt egg? Second being what do you fill your sexy eggs with? You're saying mustard gas You're saying it's death. Yeah, that would suit these people that would serve these people, right? I think if that if that's what they discovered you guys are I actually this year I invented something new for Easter and it's called a solo solitaire egg hunt What you do is you take a couple ambient

And then you hide some eggs Okay, you wake up and you try to remember where you put them eggs. Yeah, that's pretty good After the sweet veil of Ambien has been lifted from your eyes Yeah, you go searching Memento style for your and inside the eggs more Ambien Have a great night. Happy birthday Jesus. Maybe fill it with loom Hey, I found your ah fuck No, what are you saying loose? You're saying loose loop not like I'm saying loose not like a one-shot like Like that. I'm saying I'm saying when they when they open it

I want it to look like the world's worst pinata just everywhere. It's a lube spraying like my god Everywhere honey and one egg. I've hidden lube and one egg. I just empty it out of squeeze it and you We gots to keep them straight This is so important. This is a jealous is in here enjoy a lot of people are saying that this is distasteful Oh, yeah, just because of the whole Jesus thing right the whole it is. It's a religious holiday Yeah, and like I get it. I get it you guys it is Maybe not the intended way to spend the holiday, but I get it I can't I'm so down with it like I'm so down with their their pioneering

Here's my main problem with it with all this talk of like sexy egg hunts and all this stuff. How did they bypass? Pain up your scrotum to look like an Easter egg Justin What's up What if You hid the eggs All over your body like like one of those you turn yourself into a sushi platter You turn yourself into like a playground where you've hidden a bunch of eggs a wonderland perhaps a wonderland of hidden hidden away eggs

I mean I just looked in your armpit Check right between your butt Right Hey lift up these lift up these fat boobs bound to be one behind your knees Your body is an egg hunt Look look it inside your ear come now

Body is an egg hunt Oh christ um Put a condom in that egg you silly silly. It's easy silly. Hey, I want to hear Griffin's last question Uh, but first uh a few quick housekeeping things again. Thank you to everybody who came out to Chicago It was a great time. Sorry. We got the episode up Late afterwards it was kind of out of our out of our hands But hopefully this one will be on time. I was drunk for four days after that show We were drunk for four days afterwards

And if you missed it if you go back through uh the mb mba and twitter feed Um, we have a link to a video that was shot. Um of the live show There might even be one with better audio with the actual live show audio So and if you go back through Travis's twitter feed You can see a picture taken of me after the live show that I do not remember Do not recall being snapped. I don't remember the shutter dude kisses snapping up on on me If you want to um hear more of our show, it's mbmbam.com There's all kinds of episodes there. There's the methods of of asking us questions there. Um

We love it if you subscribe to us on our tunes give us a rating Uh a review tell your friends to listen to the show and you don't want them to die without us Um tonight and and you're the only one who can stand between that Those two things happening That thing that we just said mb mba. We'll stop your friends from dying That's what makes friends will make your friends live forever mb mb at Maximumfun.org we need your questions We're a little light this week if you had one that you thought was pretty good and and we never um, we never approached it

Send it again, you know, we we we only get to a few questions per show. So Um You know as long as it's not scatological or a masturbatorial in nature Yeah, except in the sense that all of our show is masturbatorial in nature, but I mean other than that We're just talking about we're just talking about easter egg vaginas like yeah, uh, how do you not jerk now? How do you not jerk it? How do you not uh, uh, uh, uh tote bags should be Arriving like now ish if if you uh are a donor who got one of those other Goodies should be arriving the next two weeks or so. So if you're a max fund donor

So keep an eye out my tote bag came and it was full of money Oh, yeah, just like chalk full of bills. Shoo. I feel bad for anybody who didn't get one of those. Yeah, me too Um, it's so rich, uh, uh griffin. Have you got any shout outs? Oh, yeah shout outs. What's going on on on the oh, yeah, twitter if you can uh tweet about our show with mb mb a.m Uh, uh ribbon s diesel has had his twibbin his my brother my brother me twibbin. Are we trending yet? Are we trending? How's the trick uh your muse they're mostly picture. They're mostly easter based of herself with uh with scraps Uh, charlene 519 got her tote bag. She was excited. Krista whelan

Uh, just got jess on the my brother my brother me train and she had a jolly good laugh whatever that means foreign language I've I've seen a lot of photos of people with their tote bags and they were putting cats and dogs in them And carrying around not sure how I feel about that. I like it That dog or cat can't be comfortable though. Can it? Oh, I think it's the most comfortable. Can I see can I get a jpeg? Of a dog and a cat in the same bag And somebody jpeg that I don't want any old-ass dogs or old-ass cats either. I want young blood I want that young stuff. I would also like a picture of a dog and a cat in a hot tub together

Just chilling just chilling and at the moment. It's just chilling and then I want a jpeg of you And you've hidden an easter egg somewhere on your body. Where is it? I don't it's in the straight to griffin. I need that. Those could just go straight to graph. Send it to lonely eggs at gmail.com What did you put in your egg? I took half an egg and it's on the tip Griffin Please it looks like the juggernaut Got put pegged here now Um

Uh, yeah, this is our final question. It was sent in by derrick martz. Thank you derrick It's by yahoo answers user twilight sparkle who asks What's wrong about being sexually attracted to pokemon I'm just a macaroon. I'm travis macaroon. I'm Griffin aqloy. He's been my brother my brother me kiss your dad's We're on ellipse Keep your heart three stacks. Keep your heart. Hey, keep your heart three stacks. Keep your heart Man, these girls are smart three stacks. These girls are smart Play your part