My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 548: Jeans All The Way Down

Episode Date: February 15, 2021

Description: Have you ever eaten a chili so good that it rips your family apart? Just kidding, it's only a song! We also go deep into exploring the mouth as well as butt advertising. It's a very troubling episode. Suggested Talking Points: Chili Songs, World's Best [BLANK], The Chicken Bud, Kick My Jeans Joseph Gordon-Levitt! Ways to support Black Lives Matter and find anti-racism resources: https://linktr.ee/blacklivesmatter  

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Here come the McElroy's, we've got jokes and bits We're gonna give advice and you'll find these sticks Left her, it is in store, come inside and see It's time to start, it's my brother, my brother and me

Hey everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother meaning advice show for the Modgenera I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy I'm your middleest brother, old spotty dog, Travis McElroy I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy, it kind of fucked me up that you said hey and not hello Yeah, I've never said hey, it felt casual It felt like we were on Twitch or something more casual than I think it's TGI Fridays Hey guys, don't forget to like and subscribe

Yeah I've been working on some songs during quarantine And I finished one up just recently And I wanted to see what you guys thought Now, what kind of songs are we talking about? It's just one song But you said plural Does it play an instrument?

There's no instruments on it, it's acapella Okay Can I sing it and please don't interrupt me or anything while I'm singing it? Okay And it's just a song How will we know when the song's over and we can start talking? There's like one whole rest, so if it goes longer than a whole rest Okay

Okay, here's the song And your brothers will never know that you're eating chili while you record No, that's a secret you'll take to your grave Now your brothers will never know all the beef and beans you're shoving in your gourd They'd prefer it if you would just behave It is Thursday at 2.41pm And this is happening in real life On the cilantro sprinkled across the bowl

That was chopped up recently by your wife Okay What do you guys think so far? That's verse one Now, oh, it's not there's more to it than that? That's just the beginning, I want to stop for notes Now, let me say this It's 2.41pm now Yeah

It's 2.42pm, go right to the clock at this point Justin, I think what you were hoping or maybe anticipating here Was that we would be upset that you're eating chili during recording I'm upset that you're eating lunch at almost 3pm Okay, well, it is just a I feel like I clarified at the beginning is just a song It's a song, Traff It's just a song Well, it's like the it's like confessional stand up

It doesn't always it's not describing what's happening right now It could be a recording that he did, you know, a couple months back at 2.41pm now 2.42pm on Thursday There were a lot of specifics in there, Griffin And at one point, I believe he said this is happening right now Right, but that's in this that was did you hear that that was part of the song? Yeah We've done this 560 episodes, we've done it 560 times so like odds are

We have recorded on a Thursday at 2.41pm now, 2.42pm Can I just kind of just continue? Yeah, sorry, thank you Go ahead And the spoon is literally in my hand Me, Justin McElroy, the person singing this song And it's not just a song It's a story about me eating chili

While I record the show My brother, my brother and me this episode right now Now that scene, okay, Griffin, you have to admit that that scene is suspicious, right? It could have described any episode He said this episode right now It's when he's singing it It's just a song No, you said in there that it's not just a song, Justin

No, okay, but that was in the song Who are you gonna believe Travis, our brother or the song? I believe our brother No, okay, no, this song It's not just a song It's not just a song You said in the song that it's not just a song But I said in the song, if the song is just a song, you can't pick and choose what different parts you're gonna listen to

You know what? You're right I can't decide you believe the part where I say it's not just a song No, Justin, I believe all of it This is the thing I believe all of it from start to finish That you currently have a spoon in your hand That you're eating chili that your wife put cilantro on That you're eating it right now as we record this episode

Travis It's you're killing me, dude It's just a song And I would sign in Naffa David with my legal name in front of a notary Say hi, I'm eating chili But it will not come to that Because my brothers will believe me when I say that this is just a song Even though it's not

Now, oh, I was ready to buy it until that very last... Ooh, that very last kickflip there What was different? Did you not like it? What part was different? Is it because it didn't rhyme? I was struggling with that No, I'm fine with free verse

It's more that right there at the end you say it's not a song again Still not germane, though But it's very clearly not a song Like if OJ Simpson put out a song like I definitely did it People would get suspicious You realize that, right? Yeah That's...

I mean, he did put out a book that was kind of like that And it wasn't like it was just a book Hey guys, it's just a book Weird co-winky dink I ate leftover chili for lunch What does that have to do with me? Right before... Well, because that was the nature of the song

I'm not saying that's what you did Oh, thank you But I washed it down with a probiotic soda That Rachel brought into our house For some reason it was a chunky soda And so my body's gonna make something new What are you guys doing to yourself? I had a fruit smoothie for breakfast

And then I had a nice salad What's wrong with you two? I had some turkey and celery and hummus And then chili I actually had a quinoa bowl trapped from Panera Bread So I don't know what you're talking about That thing I just said about the probiotic soda And the chili was a poem

No, it wasn't a poem It was Robert Frost's poem about chili Oh, actually I remember that now that you say it Yeah Fuck Excuse me? My body dead ass feels quite bad I'm actually weirdly pretty hungry

Because I meant to eat lunch before Yeah I meant to eat lunch before we started recording And now I'm gonna be hungry for the whole show Sure I did recently do Not that I'm saying what you said is true, Justin But I did recently do a live stream game

In which 30 seconds before it began My wife lovingly brought me a plate With two big pieces of pizza on it Oh, God, Justin And then I had to eat it on the stream By ducking down below camera level Taking a couple bites Cheering and eating then raising back up

Now, Justin, do you want to make any more horrific Can we hold, hold on Just one second Meat slapping sounds Hold on, guys, guys, hold on one second Sydney's coming in No Yeah, no, it was delicious

Thank you Yeah, the cilantro really Really helped Okay Now, Justin We probably just got that That was a skit Now, Justin

What's up You just said Now, Justin is a skit She said, yes I said what? You said the cilantro was good And that was something She suggested the line about cilantro

Yeah They're a comedy writing team And they're doing some sketches Or a comedy writing team Yeah Justin Yeah, I'm not gonna rest until I crack this Yeah, you can try it

I want you to try it, whatever You can't run for me, Justin I will hunt you down like a dog And I'll prove you at that chili during this recording I don't think you ever will Justin, I got a whole board set up on my wall already I got strings running the thing Now, listen, I'm looking at your board via Skype

No, that was just a poem I don't have a board, Justin It was just a poem It wasn't a real board, Justin Even if you did have a board The only thing you could pin up there is that Justin repeatedly stated that he ate chili During the recording

Right That's a bad board Oh, I'm sorry There's been a bit the whole time, Justin I knew it was real And just a song at the same time I don't even care It was just a bit

Yeah What about a question? You know what you get You know what I deserve for that? What? A Bitcoin Oh, I get it Boy, I wish we got a coin for every bit we did

I think it'd go a little something like this Did I invent the term Bitcoin? You did Bit, just now Did I... Coin it Did I coin... Did I coin Bitcoin bit?

It's just that you're taking so long to get it You're getting mad at me for interrupting you But everyone knew where you were going 30 seconds before you said Bitcoin, Bitcoin, Bitcoin Anticipation Okay Now, this first question is not one we normally do

But it was such... It tickled my brain Are you gonna read it? I love it, you do it No, you should read it, but it's a good setup Who is the best farmer in the world? You know how there's the best soccer player A basketball list in the world?

Who's the best farmer? Who has the most farmer stats? And that's from Gmail And what I love about this question And what it makes you think is This is not saying are there good farmers and bad farmers Because yes, of course it's true But is there a best farmer?

Huh Do you know how you know who the best farmer is? How? Who is standing in his field? Okay Huh I didn't do this question just to set that up But it popped in my head

Alright, I liked it I would say whichever farm has the most crows Oh, you think? The crows have spoken This farm is the best one It's got the best corn or grapes or whatever Whatever crows like to eat, probably corn I think it's corn

I mean, it's Mr. Monsanto Yeah, I love that In his many farms What I like about this question too Is it has a deeper implication That every job There is a best at it Sure

There is out there somewhere The world's best sanitation worker That can pick up a garbage can And do this scoop move That launches the bags 30 yards into the truck Without having to walk over there That everyone's like, oh, they're the best That has to exist

There's a ticket taker somewhere That rips it right in the middle every time You know what I mean? Someone has to be the best at it Yeah And I feel like that's a dream that we all chase Is being the best in whatever field we're enthusiastic about I feel like for a sanitation worker

It would be the robot arm That lifts up the can And dunks it in And doesn't lose a pizza box over the side Or something like that Maybe they were in the military They did one of those bomb exploding robots And so they got good garbage arm training

For that And now I'm writing a fucking Tom Clancy novel In our podcast I do apologize for that Is there something that you guys think you're the best at? In the world? The best of the world Like when everybody looks at the leaderboard

Right there at the top You got most saying the name of Justin McRoy Or Griffin McRoy Hmm No Wow, that's a deep dark Nope Nothing

Nothing Nope I'm the best at not remembering to get a napkin or paper towel When I get my food at a restaurant Oh yeah, no, I've said that I've said that about you before Griffin every time We come back to the table with our food

And you guys are like Where's the napkins? And I'm like I did not get those And then you always say to me You're the best at that You're the best at that You're so consistent

You're the best at not getting those That's probably That's probably up there for me Not the worst I mean there's less thing on not the worst at You don't think there's anything you're not the worst at? Cause I would say I'm gonna say that about you

I think it's way easier to be the worst at something Oh sure You know like No, because you get to a base level where Just lack of any experience is a great leveler You know what I mean like You could say we're stock trader And you're gonna hit a point of the population

Where like Don't know Never looked into it Do not know about it Don't know what it is And that's like a wide swath Yeah, you couldn't be the worst Just because you're ignorant

Yeah There could be one worst I actually have bad news about this best farmer question What's that? Well, I was thinking about it And how it's like all family farms And it's like all like huge Family farms over

And it's all just these big corpo farms Oh yeah Oh yeah And then I started looking into it a little more And here's what they don't want you to know guys What's that? There are no more farmers Oh

Yeah, we actually don't have farmers anymore in America A lot of it comes from China And a lot of it comes from Robotically run food farms Yeah But there's no farmers anymore If you're listening to this And you think that you're a farmer

Someone's running the long grift on you Because we don't have them anymore Now what about farmers only, Justin? That's why that crashed Oh, that's why I lost my fucking shirt Yeah When farmers only went under

Luckily I had Christian Mingle there To kind of keep me afloat Oh, I'm more of a plenty of fish guy But yeah Hey, can I do it, yeah? Yeah, I'd like that grift, thank you This one was sent in by Amy Thanks Amy, it's Yahoo Answers user Ray

Who asks How do you become the guy Who controls the family dinner table? Like in the show Boardwalk Empire Nucky Thompson Is that... I don't know if that's a typo I'm Nucky

It was Nucky Welcome to this That can't be it Time for me I'm assuming this is on some sort of like Boardwalk Empire-centric sub-Yahoo Because that is the only place that that program Would be summoned up for polite discussion

It's an entertainment Without even knowing the rest of the question Tony Soprano should be the reference, right? Not Nucky Thompson It's Nucky Thompson I'm Nucky Thanks for enjoying the meatloaf today Nucky, can I ask a question?

No, you can't I'm... In the show Boardwalk Empire Nucky Thompson is always the guy with the cool stories And stuff to say at big family parties I'd love to be like that How do you become the guy Who controls the family dinner table?

Now hold on though Because the question Is it about like the person at the head of table Who everyone like looks to It's not a locational It's not based on orientation But I mean that's got to contribute to it Somewhat, right?

Well if you want to be the story person though You want to be in the middle of the table You want to be... Because you want to just look slightly to your left and right To be able to see everybody Yeah, I love that Also big hands Bigger the better

You think big hands helps you be Because everyone is kind of quietly Consciously Threatened by you Or why the big hands? Oh no, sorry I meant big hand movements Not just like large hands

Oh he gesticulates Okay, I thought you were saying large Physical hands And then I was like Maybe that's why they call him Nucky Thompson Because his knuckles are so ginormous Large hands does contribute well To large hand movements though

Because you have to do a lot less work To just like Now you've moved seven inches You know it's just Because the hands are so big It doesn't take much Does being the source of the food Help you sort of seize the day here

Like if they're eating you? No, well That would certainly be a topic of Like a real starter You know what I mean? They're like serving sushi off of you You mean? Oh no, I thought you were saying like

We're eating Nucky's forearm today And you would kind of have to talk to Nucky about that Kind of both of those things, right? Kind of both Because if you're eating sushi And you're just way too hungry And you get into it And you're like

Oh god, I'm so sorry Why don't you say something? When they do the sushi Eat off a person's body What's the etiquette for going for The pieces on the privacy area? That has to be less You can't eat them first

100% Nipples I think that that's a straight I feel like when you pick up A little hamachi off the nipple And then you find out the nipples under there You can plead ignorance a bit And just be like

I didn't think the nipple would be I would put it back, by the way If I did that I would guess with the sushi back No, if somebody saw you Pick it up and put it back The party would be over You would be uninvited from all future

New sushi parties I would let people eat sushi off my body If I was fully clothed If I was wearing a suit If I put sushi on my sushi suit I feel like it's just Whoever is the most proactive Whoever sort of starts the conversations

And guides it Right? And it's less about power and strength And being naked and having sushi on your body You don't have to wrestle that away From anybody I'll tell you who's good at dominating conversations It's Justin

So I'm going to show you guys Justin's going to do a little practical example Here for you Griffin and I will have a conversation And Justin's going to come in And nucky all over it Okay, you're right Okay, okay

Travis, you watched the blues game last night? I did Those coyotes are really giving them the run around Yeah, but they did some great scoring And shooting And they liked the way that One of them iced another one Yeah, I mean, Bennington's doing his best out there

But unless that defense solidifies They're not going to be able to keep it Out of their zone, you know? Yeah, and I was amazing How many triple deeks they got away with You know what I mean? Yeah, those are legal now The new hockey rules because of COVID regulation

There's a slap shot It looks like Justin's trying to say something Justin, are you trying to say something? Oh, so you finally ran out of steam See, this is the secret You hang back And you let everybody else burn out So anyways, yeah, the blues game was great

And then you stand up And you take control of the table You've had your shot All the sushi fell off Don't stand up Don't stand up Don't you talk off of me Don't you talk a smash of a hole in your head

Oh Roll dice here I got a 17 plus three at 20 You effortlessly duck out of the way I attack Nucky Oh, hell yeah, get him, fuck him up That's a 15 plus two at 17 Does that beat your AC?

Did it use pure silver? Yes, of course I'm not in the noob Yes, I am defeated Okay That's one way to do it I guess I haven't watched enough Boardwalk Empire to be really used to it

No, that's basically how it goes I guess There was a lot of D&D influence on that show There was also, it felt like a little Peaky Blinders in there, Justin Was there just a little Peaky Blinders? Are those two different shows? It's like

Boardwalk Empire And then Boardwalk Empire, Cole and Peaky Blinders Okay, I see I got another way to control the dinner table The family dinner table So why don't you two start Okay Talking about something

Hey Justin, did you see that new episode Of Boardwalk Empire? No, that hasn't been on for a really long time No, they started making more of them I don't think that that's actually accurate Yeah, it's Tom Wellings in it Hey, get this When I was recording my brother and my brother

Sorry guys, I got a phone call Sorry guys, I got a phone call Yeah No, it's me Yeah, I can talk Yeah, we're having dinner Can you, sorry Sorry, one second

Can you guys please Just give me Can you please just give me a This is really important Can you please just give me a second No, no, no, just don't talk Just don't talk, thank you I'm back

Thankfully, we know sign language When I was recording my brother My brother made earlier this week I was eating chili during it I fucking knew it What? I fucking knew Yeah

Well, this is just in the context of a bit Well, tell them in 2020 We'll talk about a run then Yeah, no, no, I'm Okay, give my love to to Dennis Kucinich Alright

Yeah, yeah Thanks, bye That was my That's another phone call Sorry, guys Your real phone calls That was when I'm going to be Dennis Kucinich's campaign manager

in 2024 Nice Now, do I know who that is or is it just a name that I pulled from the void that is my mom? Is it deeply problematic? Is he?

I don't know I literally don't know Is he alive? I don't know I don't know Can I show one more way to kind of dominate? Yeah, it's so good

So far Okay, you two have the conversation Okay Hey, thanks for having me back on the chilly thing earlier Yeah, it was my pleasure

I would do anything Ahem I will be turning in the coupon that you two gave me for my birthday for one half hour of uninterrupted monologue by me

and I will now be completely recapping the plot of the Brendan Fraser movie Blast from the past Yeah You see, it all began when Christopher Walken's character feared that there was going

to be a nuclear attack So he built a bunker in his basement That bunker? It looked a lot like a house except underground and there was raised Why is he talking like this?

a young Brendan Fraser and then he became old and he was sent up to the site Like we just used our regular voices but Travis is doing his weird Alicia Silverstone British affectation and I believe Dave Foley

It's funny, I think if he knew the plot well enough he'd go faster, right? Yeah And then it turned out that because Brendan Fraser had been raised with 1950s and 60s ideals

everyone loved him a thing which is demonstrably untrue in today's society Let's do the money zone maybe while he continues to recap I love that Hey thanks, I love that

Bye We all shop online for stuff, shoes for instance What else? Sandals What else? Can you give me six more?

Boots Crocs Galoshes and shoes and sneakers Yeah, that's six So you see that promo code field at checkout

and you're like is there a way I could save money and not spend as much money and the answer is honey which rhymes with money which is the mnemonic device I use for it It's a free browser extension

and whenever you buy something that has one of those little coupon code fields it scans the internet it releases its little bur its little sparrows Or bees Its little bees into the

You're not a fucking asshole It releases its bees out into the internet and into everybody's phones looking for coupon codes who's got the coupon codes who's got the coupon codes and then the bees come back

and then honey tells you and it's like here's $33 so that's amazing it's literally everybody should be doing it it's free it installs in just a few seconds

and you can get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash brother that's joinhoney.com slash brother Have you guys ever eaten food for sustenance? No, let me do this ad

Okay How good is sunbasket? Very good Sunbasket is a meal delivery service that has a wild variety of options for you to get into no matter how you're eating

or what you like to eat I truly believe that they are going to have a meal to suit your needs and more importantly your desires Getting a meal on the table quickly doesn't mean you have to sacrifice

nutrition or quality with sunbasket you can actually have it all every single day so they have the meal kit stuff and there's a huge variety of those what I love

that I've just recently gotten into they have these fresh and ready meals they're $8.99 and they come and you basically like heat them up and it's like a gourmet meal that you're just like instantly enjoying

they have a chili Oh yes that I just tried today actually earlier today and it was so delicious earlier today very recently but earlier in this day

we were in and it was so delicious that I couldn't stop eating it no matter what and I would do anything anything yeah to keep eating it

no matter what the cost or the podcast whatever was going on in my life even if it meant like losing a relationship with one of your brothers yeah I don't remember exactly try but it was a very strong desire

to keep eating the chili I do remember that right now sunbasket is offering $35 off your order when you go right now to sunbasket.com

slash my brother and enter promo code mybrother at checkout that's sunbasket.com slash my brother and enter promo code

mybrother at checkout for $35 off your order sunbasket.com slash my brother and enter promo code mybrother and I'll go ahead

and read the tagline here sunbasket let our chili take its dark hold on you huh I'm Judge John Hodgman and I'm Bailiff Jesse Ford ten years ago

I came on Jordan Jesse Goh and judged my first dispute is chili a soup? it's a stew obviously the judge has dispensed a decade of justice he's the one person wise enough

to answer the really important questions like should you hire a mime to perform at your own funeral after they cry I want them to laugh do you really need

a tank full of jellyfish in your den? they smell like living creatures decaying only if they are decaying yeah which they will be real people real justice

real comedy winner of the webby award for best comedy podcast the Judge John Hodgman podcast every Wednesday on maximumfun.org how about another question we're gonna help somebody else

okay we're doing better do you think I've been a I've been a huge Tom Hanks fan for years and currently have a steady girlfriend recently we've been watching movies and I recommended the 2000 Tom Hanks

classic cast away but when I brought up the film she refused she said she thought Tom Hanks was overrated and had no desire to watch the film claiming it's too long and probably sad

yes and yes how do I convince her to watch this Tom Hanks classic which I'm sure she would thank me later for getting her to watch from stranded in Stratton, PA there's different categories of films of this type

I feel like where there's films that are culturally important and then there are films that are like if you want to know what the whole hand on a volleyball thing is you need you got to watch cast away like you have to do your due diligence and spend two hours watching Tom Hanks

you know cut his teeth out with roll with ice skates oh right uh huh yeah and that's the price that you pay now I have a lot of films like this

whenever people quote Casablanca I nod my head along oh yes yes yes a classic grey film I do not know I have not seen this film and so there are parts

it could patch up some of my my lack of cultural knowledge there but I've decided that my time is better spent elsewhere and that's what your girlfriend has done and you know that's what the internet's for you google what's up with the volleyball hand

now I know I don't have to watch the film you know you make a good point we've entered a new period in time it's 2021 big dog run and perhaps now's the time when someone's like you haven't seen Casablanca

you have to watch it and you just go no I don't do you know how many other things there are within my reach at any given time that I could choose to do yeah it's um

it's liberating in a way I will never I will never watch a criterion collection film and I just that's a huge weight off being able to say that out loud in such a public place but that's there it is

it's out there now um I it's wild to me that that movie exists isn't it that seems like Hollywood was like people seem to really like Tom Hanks we should just do just

maybe just have him go one-hander oh yeah like a movie where he's having a good time and living his bad time bad time we destroy Tom Hanks for all of America to enjoy I want to hurt Tom Hanks and I'm a movie executive

and this is my pitch I want to hurt Tom Hanks and see what happens I want to hurt Tom Hanks for two hours and 24 minutes did you guys see the money pit every time that Tom Hanks falls in a hole or gets electro-macuted

or you know wastes money on this bad house that was good for me and I would like a film that is just about that about Tom Hanks being hurt over and over again there was a period of time

that I think here's my theory there's a period of time where everyone really enjoyed watching Tom Hanks get hurt like the burbs and money pit

and then I think the natural culmination of that period was cast away was cast away and I think after that everyone went I don't like this anymore I feel bad now

that we've done this to Tom Hanks can he enter the period of time where the worst thing that happens to him is he's trapped in an airport terminal yeah thank you please the worst thing that happens to him is he has to go back to community college

I think I never saw that one how long has it been since you guys watched cast away the film cast away well when did it come out 2000 so I'd say about 21 years yeah

yeah I would estimate it's around there quick spoilers just because I feel like we're kind of missing it spoilers for just a minute on cast away he does get off the island do you guys remember that when he got off the island

his girlfriend married and had a kid and they had a funeral for him before oh yeah yeah yeah yeah Justin what a picture yeah yeah yeah yeah what a picture

do you think Bobby Zemeckis is like my dream my dream is to hang out on an island with Tom Hanks and just me and my friend Tom and we're just getting buck wild on it loving it and that's what my dream is

can everyone do that can we also remember that the big positive ending though is don't worry he still has that one package deliver so everything's not all bad for old Tommy Hanks can everyone real quick do their best impression of Tom Hanks

as character in the polar express just saying like just saying like where's your ticket please I haven't seen it but I'm gonna do my best okay where's your ticket I'm Thomas Hanks it's not bad it's more like my ticket please

my ticket I need to see your ticket see alright I'll try I need to see I need to see your ticket Tom Hanks is a hard impression to do huh yeah he just sounds like everybody Tom Hanks is the default

all other impressions are in relation to how Tom Hanks sounds well do Woody okay there's a snake in my boot do another line from Toy Story that Woody said you are a toy whoa hey Trav

that was actually thank you hey Rachel can we get it again you are a toy it was really good Travis it's good it's like actually pretty good Trav thank you thank you very much

you've been hiding your light under a bush no I'm never gonna try it again that was right off the hip can't do it nobody ever asked Travis to do it again he'll buckle he'll do a really shit job the next time because he we got that magic moment on tape

I'm so happy in that moment I was Tom Hanks you guys I saw his face overlap my face for a moment can I do a yahoo? yeah please I just want to send him by Graham Roebuck

thanks Graham is an anonymous yahoo answers user who I'm gonna call Dan asks is there a special taste bud for chicken wings I like to position the foods in my mouth I like to taste them according to the taste bud that tastes best for that food

is there one for hot wings I've recently learned that the taste bud map of your tongue is apocryphal and this was heartbreaking really I thought it was a thing now they're all mixed in with each other

except for the chicken wing taste bud what is that dangly thing in the back of your throat oh that's the chicken wing taste bud is the dangly thing that dangles down when you're chicken wings you gotta shove it back there and rub it against that dangly thing I always thought that was a sort of I always called it the throatum

because it was like a throatum is unpleasant but you know in WAP when she says I want gag on a choke I want it to touch that dangly thing in the back of my throat that's what it is because she couldn't say my chicken wing taste bud my one big one

but that's why if you just hold the chicken wing on the tip of your tongue nothing you can't even it's like there's nothing there as it slides whole down your gullet you get all the flavor profile there maybe cry a little bit out of joy

do you guys not want to do it but do you guys know what do you guys know what the radio edit of WAP is no the radio edit of WAP and I just want to take a quick poll the radio edit of WAP

is not wet ass pussy it is in fact it's wet and gushy oh yeah yeah no it's worse hey it's worse right like the radio edit is worse on that one it falls into a category that another one there is

there is a song by the yin yang twins and the real line is we all like to see ass antities and then the radio edit is we all like to see tickle bitties which I would argue is far more offensive

yeah hugely challenging a hugely challenging thing yeah till the sweat drops down the walls okay we got wet and gushy although wet and gushy is good because then it lets her rhyme the next line where she's like have you seen my tushy

which is in the original song and it's sort of a slant rhyme which is about gushy there's not a special taste but for chicken wings I wish that there was though I wish we could hack our tongues the right chicken wing

engages all the buds the right chicken wing invites over his friend spicy but he lets him stand outside and then he lets him bring sweet in but then sends him out and then sour is on

zoom nearby and bitter is occasionally welcomed it's bitter's house but not all at once Justin you're making it sound like it's stages like a neapolitan chicken wing that's how you're really savoring it

you're getting the heat and then you're getting a bit of sour do you know how traveling Justin eats chicken wings he first dabs it on the tip of his tongue which he has stuck way way out of his mouth and then he just kind of rubs it in a clockwise circle

around his tongue and lips he also will swirl the chicken wing around and then sniff it deeply which I've always found troubling he says it helps him hit the flavor spot and I don't and he'll kind of like half moan like look at the legs

you have to see its fingers but he doesn't actually chew and eat it which is weird he sets it right back down spits it right there in the bucket yeah all naked wings that you ever eat in your entire life have been predicted by me that's true that's weird but it's true and if they're a little bit crispy and naked

they've just been sitting out a long time yep they've dried hand-dried just dried in the sun I've been eating a lot of chicken wings lately oh tell me more you know what here I have this for you oh

I want to munch squat I want to munch squat what I was trying to capture there was like the soul of winter that didn't have a holiday feel oh see I was thinking

I was feeling very very Georgian very not sure not Victorian this is Petersburg check off we've never had you sort of just lay a munch squat

at our feet which is what it feels like I usually interrupt but I feel like as you get older you don't always want to be saddled with the bad boy podcasting yeah sure and I mean especially as the segment moves into

it's danie moi it's final that's also the other thing is like it's like okay you know what I mean and I don't want you guys to be like why did you interrupt it why did you interrupt us

for one that's okay Panera bread do you guys hear this yes I believe it translates to bread bread if I'm not mistaken Panera bread it's really weird you know they have bread bowls

so they've made an ice and toasty bread bowl glove wait so what the thing is with this is that it is a hand warmer that's also a

cop holder so you can drink iced coffee even when it's cold and also it looks like a bread bowl until you get to that last part it's just a glove but then huh it's not made out of bread

no that's the other thing it's not made out of bread right so like why did you do it Panera bread you could have had oh my god think of how much money they could have saved on soup

if they had started selling warmed like right there fresh from the oven bread gloves that you would go into a Panera bread jam a couple of these on your fists and they'd be like ok that'll be $14.99 and you're like I can't pay that

look at my hands how on earth am I supposed to pay that that could have been so nice and fun I've sent you an image in Slack so you can look at it it looks so wild it looks like your hand is like a Lego person's hand made out of

made out of bread what it looks like to me is like like there's some kind of bad guy in Doctor Who where it's like actual living dough that's trying to look like people ok yeah I love that and that's like how you can identify

like look at their hands Doctor there's nothing about it where you know how sometimes you put your iced coffee into your bread bowl it's like you just combined things around you know what I mean your iconography is getting fucking sloppy

yeah like if somebody saw that even if they thought is that a real bread bowl their next time it would be are you using it to hold an iced coffee what are you looking at those realizations would come the other way Trav where it would be like why on God's green earth

and Christ's earth do you have an iced coffee tucked into a bread bowl and also is that your hand in there yep they did a oh my God it makes me so they did this right they made 450 of them that's fucking thanks

like just have some strength of your convictions right you know like if you believe people want it you nasty pervert then do it yeah right then just do it you know what nothing can stop me from going in a

Panera bread and ordering a empty a bread bowl right up and cramming my little and cramming my little paw in there is there there's there ain't a log in it there's nobody who's gonna say anything to me they wouldn't take it back from you no I paid for it you know

in the release where they were talking about it they said they cited a statistic that 78% of Americans told them Panera that they continue to drink iced coffee even in cold weather yeah then you're fixing a fucking solved problem yeah we already

got this we've got it we're just doing it and going for it 78% said they still drink iced coffee and 100% said they want to stick their little paws into one of our bread bubbles I think anybody when given that opportunity would leap at it

would jump to hey I got hot bread here you want to jam your hand in there are you gonna eat that bread it seems like a waste of food no I'm not this isn't if you don't do it I'm gonna let somebody else do it oh okay everybody would jam their hand in there everybody everybody everybody now if the glove was

fresh bread bowl sent in forget about it we're done I'm taking that all day every day yeah I wanted to thank Liam for this one actually so thank you Liam real quick I did go ahead and gone over to icedandtoasty.com yeah which is weird that we didn't own that

but I did go to icedandtoasty.com and there's just a big picture of the bowl and then it says sorry we're all out oh man but then under it there's a link that says what does this mean oh

so I got an icedandtoasty.com and there's a sorry idiot letters we're all out what's that what's that even mean what does this mean what do you even mean sorry you're all out if you click

what does this mean it then gives a really wordy explanation that breaks down to we don't have any more we don't have any more of them it's I clicked it here's what it says this is from Zach well it's probably Zach isn't it well Zach and then he's doing the rock horn

emoji yeah you may receive this message if all of the products in your area have been claimed or you're participating after the promotional period has ended so in other words

they're all out they don't have any well and then down at the bottom it says 11 out of 23 found this helpful which means that there were 12 people who are like I'm still confused I don't get it how does this help me get a bread bowl glove explain again Zach but slower

anyway you can't get it I don't know why I wasted your time it's a dumb idea when Liam sent it Liam said it's an edible Panera bread cup holder that's not right well it's also right in the sense that like why the fuck else are they doing it if they made an edible cup holder

that's like we baked in a slot for your hand because we're absolutely out of a solitary fuck to give that I'm into it if you want to let me like hold an ice coffee and then finish it then eat the thing out of my hand because it doesn't have a purpose anymore

that's biodegradable that's 2021 you know what I mean that's new tech I think we've talked about it on this show before but edible doesn't mean digestible Liam's not wrong you could eat that glove if you tried hard enough I'm just saying if they wanted to rebrand as Panera's boutique and they only sold

bread clothes I think that would be a killer Swaperoni oh yeah what else you guys want to do I mean I'll tell we do the questions we only did two I guess two two which actually modern it's not bad but I will do

another one if you want are you a yahoo I think the second question is powerful and we should read that my employer offers a small stipend for purchase of clothing with the company's logo most of it is pretty bland polo shirts light jackets caps etc

this year though they're offering jeans with the company logo embroidered across the ass what occasions are appropriate for business casual juicy jeans how should I complete the outfit to really impress our clients dress to impress

in DC unbuttoned white thin fabric shirt and there's a fan and there's a fan close by also you could do a popped collar jean jacket

of the same denim material and make sure you always have your back turned to them and you're looking over a shoulder and make sure you tuck that jacket into the pants just to really complete the look that's good if you can find denim shoes I don't know if that's anything

but anything that draws attention back to the ass let me call John John Mellencamp and ask to borrow one of his many pairs of denim shoes hold up okay I'll get I'll get him on the horn okay this is not a skit I'm gonna do cuz I don't really know anything about John Mellencamp but I

I feel like a great use of this would be if you're doing a presentation oh and you're like to a new client and then it's like you use it as the punchline of the presentation cuz it makes it look like you went the extra mile

you know what I mean like it's like and one thing I can say about fidelity capital management we won't be bringing up the rear and you show up your ass and it's like this this company gets it that's it and then they'll be like why

do your jeans look so dirty and smell so bad and you're like I don't I do not take these off cuz I love my I love I love the company you could heard the part where I talked about loving the company right so like why would I take off my fidelity pants you could do another pair

of jeans over those jeans and then when someone's like I can't believe you are jeans to work you're like yeah sorry I forgot it's a little too casual and then you tear those pants away and underneath you have your business juicy jeans and everyone's like that's what I talk about bro

and you all high-five a bunch and then maybe play some volleyball out in in the lawn I assume just some jeans volleyball like you do jeans volleyball the chafing is part of the fun yeah it's an endurance sport jeans volleyball

why do they make these what do you mean it's actually really kind of weird isn't it it's kind of weird that they would think you would want to put the company's logo right on your ass yeah no it's not a good place for that I guess it depends on what the company is

is there a company where other than juicy do you work at juicy corporate headquarters what about endoscopy cameras like if you were like is that the right one? colonoscopy that's what I meant if you were making like

if you were a company that produced enemas colonoscopy or just like a billboard company and then like it has it there and is like you looked in you and this is what you're trying to sell now is hi my name is Travis McRoy and for $100 a month you can buy

ad space on my ass that's it does jeans does jeans but advertising work just did cause you looked you looked at my Heiner didn't you yeah are you looking for a house with a great backyard

and then it has like the listing for you know some real estate agents in there but it's on my ass cause I have a great backyard yep next Bucky's exit 23a in 15 miles but it says it follow me to follow me to Bucky's and it says it right there

it's got basically map quest directions to Bucky's on my dumper yep yep yep yep now this start is a joke but now I'm starting to think I could maybe sell some ad space on my butt I think I'm gonna make

I want to give you guys a challenge this is a thought experiment for thought leaders like ourselves okay if we had to put up a piece of McRoy family merchandise where it was jeans but the logo was on the ass what would you what would you guys do we have to do it

what would we advertise on the bank or what would it be what just yeah describe the product I guess we could put an ad for pets.com on there but I think it's cause you mentioned the dot-com bubble earlier yeah yeah my brain went there too my brain was so that would be a piece of McRoy family merch

that we would sell that would be the pets.com logo yeah something like that okay so you've already hearing it back parroted back at you mine would be like truth campaign

but not their anti-vaping thing they're on now but like old truth old truth back in like 2001 where it's like check out this person and the machine they used to talk but we put that on their butt of merch

pants I think I would advertise the pants on the pants so that when people look at the pants they're like well now I want to get those pants but I don't know where to get them is like well the information is right there you can get ad-pants right there

I like that where it's like the pants are an ad for your ass branding company ass branding limited let's call it and the logo is a pair of jeans that have the ass branding limited word mark on them

right which happens to be shaped like a pair of jeans you know so it's just infinite jeans all the way down baby jeans all the way down you need a kit yet but the good news is if you go too deep Joseph Gordon love it I'll kick your chair

into the bathtub kick you right back up right out the jeans Joseph Gordon love it that chair kicked into the tub kicked me right out my jeans kicked me out my jeans JGL thanks for saving for my jeans where's where's my top

my shirt that I wore with the jeans JGL damn were you wearing those jeans when I went in are we still in it oh no kick it kick me again JGL damn

I'm in my wife's childhood jeans my wife created jeans for us to live together but it was between our two jeans let me spin my magic top I left it in my jeans one layer up fuck hey don't worry

bring my jeans now when you come bring at least my magic top it's in the pocket of my jeans in your jeans layer hey I just want to tell you guys you're super old now your jeans still look great still wear the hell out of your jeans I believe you mean Ken Watanabe

you said the name yes, Ken Watanabe wait a spoil wait a spoil I need you to craft some jeans for me the jeans were paying attention to themselves the jeans are aware we're in them I'm a jeans architect

you're a tailor? no I've said that many times Michael Cain, young and old Michael Cain oh this must be a dream we're all three in jeans and kissing Sydney made fun of me today for falling over in the snow and I said why don't we fall master Bruce

it's to get back up again and my voice started sounding like Bane and I accidentally and I did Michael Bane Michael Bane? he's like a Michael Cain and a Bane impression we're together Mr. Wayne Mr. Wayne

it sounds like he's drowning now it's Henry loves Batman and one time I had him say Where's Falconi as deep voice Batman and now he says it anytime he plays Batman and I feel like I ruined him I feel like nothing will satisfy him now

where is Falconi? yeah he has to in these like who is Falconi and why does Batman want him and I have to tell him it's because he didn't pay attention in virtual school that's bad my daughter said bye bye booing to me this week

thanks for listening to our podcast we're three great dads and we're happy to have you here we hope you're hanging in there as much as could be expected if you want buy some merchandise we don't have any jeans

on offer currently but if you go to Macro Merch you'll find some other stuff there's a cute little boy carpan by Zachary Sterling our candle nights special you can now get that we got a taste of luxury stimulus wine glass

and a t-shirt designed by Kevin Budnick if you haven't watched that by the way search Taste of Luxury on YouTube and watch it it's real funny speaking of watching things we got an adventure zone live virtual show this week February 19th at 9pm eastern time it's virtual and interactive

that means there will come moments when we'll need your help deciding what the players do we're going to be playing Honey Heist with special guest Erica Ishii tickets are just $10 you can get them at live.themacro.family it's going to be a blast and a half folks hey pre-order Crystal Kingdom

the third fourth we've written a lot of books in the adventure zone balance series it's real good go to theadventurezonecomic.com book comes out July 13th 2021 but don't wait y'all want a final yahoo? yes please

this final yahoo is sent in by the wizard Ben Cant thank you Ben it is yahoo answers user T who asks how come bad guys in movies don't eat an apple with a pocket knife no more yes thank you my name is Justin McElroy

I'm Travis McElroy I'm Griffin McElroy this has been my brother my brother made kiss your dad gooooooo hair on the lips okay that was the show hope you had some fun talked for an hour

and now our job is done go back into the world face the day ahead please don't tell our grandparents all the cuss words we said maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported

hey it's Jesse what you're about to hear is real hey this is Chris hi Chris it's Jesse calling for Maximum Fun hey Jesse I heard that you got into a car accident yeah we're putting this out podcasting yourself and I just laughed so hard

that I slammed into a construction bear you remember what it was that was so funny I will never forget I'm sure they started talking about Vegas and the you know

what happens here it stays here and Graham was talking about oh you know wasn't there some other slogan for another commercial I was like a commercial for food and it said like whatever's in there stays in there I can't remember what it was clams or something clams

just so ridiculous and man I got lightheaded I was laughing so hard next thing I know smash they are just violently funny so I talked to Dave and Graham

from stop podcasting yourself we would like to pay your car repair bill is that okay? that would be super nice Jesse I really thank you I appreciate that