My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 551: Non-Euclidian Meat Cone

Episode Date: March 8, 2021

We finally did it, folks! All the pop culture reboots from 20 years ago we never really wanted are finally coming into being! And we’ve erased the stigmas of sex-related injuries and of giving food to people who need it! Nice job. Suggested Talking Points: Disney Discretion, Banished Bugs, Forbidden Lombada, Break Room Bull, Frasier 2000, The French McElroy BrotherWays to support Black Lives Matter and find anti-racism resources: https://linktr.ee/blacklivesmatter

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Here come the McElroy's. We've got jokes and bits. We're gonna give advice and do funny sticks. Laughter it is in store. Come inside and see. It's time to start. It's my brother, my brother and me.

Hello everybody and welcome to my brother, my brother and me. And if I show up for the Modgen era, I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I am Travis McElroy. Hey, this is your youngest brother Griffin McElroy. And let me get my axe out and full chunk, chunk, kick. The doors to the movie theaters is open again. All right. Let me get these cobwebs out. I got a torch to blow up around these cobwebs.

Like Indiana Jones another movie. And that's what pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Soda, soda, soda. Everybody pile on in because we're going back to the movie theaters because folks, they're still making these things and we're gonna, and it's pretty much basically time to go ahead and get your ticket for the new, for the new Space Jam movie that is coming out. We do have new details coming in like literally this hour.

Hot off the presses about plot details on the new Space Jam movie, which I don't know the title of, but I am gonna call it Space Jam 2000. Now listen, I do very much want to hear about this. At first I do want to say it's a bold move for like movie theaters to say like, now we know that people have now poked through the veneer and they realize that they could sit at home and watch these movies. It's all BS, right. But we're still gonna charge you money to drive here,

pay $800 for a box of nerds and watch a movie. In this big butterslick warehouse that we call the cinema. Well, it's gonna be worth it when we all sit down to see Space Jam 2000 because here's some plot details. I'm gonna read this verbatim straight from Entertainment Weekly. This is a weekly publication that covers everything that you need to know in cinema and television, music, and I guess games. Oh yes, the story, the paragraph starts.

There's a heightened version of himself, James. That's LeBron James. I knew it. It struggles to relate to Joe's Dom, who much more... Wait, who's what? Don't worry about it. Did you say Joe's Dom? That's the character who is LeBron James...

movie of LeBron James' son. Maybe son, got it, okay. He's much more interested in creating games than playing them. When Dom's tech skills draw the attention of a CGI humanoid named Al G Rhythm, parentheses Don Cheadle. Yes. The father-son duo gets sucked into the Warner 3000 entertainment, quote, server-verse with the AI kidnapping Dom in the hopes of stealing some of the king's followers.

IRL, he has about 80 million on Instagram. Cheadle doesn't consider Al G a bad guy. What bad guy does? But rather an AI with a chip on his shoulder says the MCU veteran. With a microchip on his shoulder. Come on, guys. It was right there. I know you're wondering,

will they play basketball with the Looney Tunes at some point in this film? Because so far, they've left me kind of dangling. I think it would be kind of bold if they didn't, honestly. Yes. If they called it like Space Jam 2 and then like at the very end, like just before credits LeBron James like picked up a bass one said, so do you guys want to play or what? And then credits roll?

Right. I think that'd be a power move. Well, don't worry, next paragraph, this is being a Space Jam movie, a baseball game. A baseball game. Baseball game. What's up? A basketball game settles things once and for all to save his son and escape this virtual reality.

James must round up the tunes, including a banished Bugs. What? To defeat the formidable Goon Squad. He got caught embezzling. I guess so. Much of the early discussion on New Legacy. Oh, that's the name of the movie. Centered on the reintroduction of Bugs.

Lola Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tweety and the rest of the Toon Squad. In case of like YouTube. Wait, are they playing Monsters or is it like different bad guys? It's the, it's the Goon Squad. It's the Taliban. I know. I was surprised too. Yeah.

It's the Taliban. They're playing. This one, they're playing the idea of classism. What? Whoa. They're fighting income inequality. I guess the Goon Squad is, that is King Kong Batman is in it because it's like all Warner now.

Okay. Anyway, we can't get too deep into that. What did Bugs do? Why you spoke Spanish? And why is Don Cheadle, Algae Rhythm and AI who kidnapped fucking LeBron James's son? Is Algae Rhythm a fit, like is that, and like names was to be a play on words of something? Am I missing it? Algae, Algae Rhythm.

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I know Disney can't put up any programming from before 1987. That doesn't mean it's great. That's like 1987 is quite liberal and estimate of the day shit was so bad. That's true because even Aladdin has one That's like mid 90s. Like yeah, does it just listen? I'm sorry. They still they still have brayer rabbit In the parks, it's what yeah, they're good I've heard that it's gonna be a Tiana thing anyway. Yeah, yeah, we can't yeah, I'm not gonna go down that that particular rabbit hole Yeah, it's what Disney plus show a thing when you sign up where you have to check a box It's like listen, I hope you're ready for the best in family entertainment Also, can you keep a fucking secret because you're ready to see some shit

You're gonna get into some things on here that I'm not sure you want you're gonna Let me just there's a box and next or just as by clicking this box You admit that it was a different time. It was a different time also on your credit card statement. It's just gonna say DP X X 17 13 so you're yeah, your wife or kids don't know that you subscribe to Disney plus Don't worry. We hidden comes into this great box. Um discrete solutions It says on your credit card billing statement, it just says dildos don't worry guys Yeah, I'm a I'm about to have a another son a second son here in a few in a here in a few weeks There's gonna be another rowdy boy child by these these parts. Why didn't you say something before that?

Why did you want the jet the reveal here? Yeah, after we talked about Space Jam to You're saying that doesn't sort of that doesn't make sense in the sort of like I know I'm just saying Why did we not kind of tell us privately? Yeah, um, I knew that you guys wouldn't be cool about it This fear and I and so far I've been I would have I wouldn't I take talk about it and blood up your spot for sure Yeah, and I don't know for me. It's just that like having two kids is kind of my thing. Yeah Yeah, that's kind of people like when they talk about the macro brothers and they're like, you know, Justin's the carpenter Travis has two kids and Griffin's kind of the bad boy. Right with one kid

Well, no, I'm about to have to and that does that now double my opportunities for just for cyber cheetah to come and take the Take my boys and so then I have a basket ball miss one. You have one. Let me have one Let me get some of your If Don Cheetah came to if cyber cheetah, I mean if Don Cheetah came to me I'd be like, what's up? Don Cheetah. Let's fuck. Let's get a good fucking hang going but if it was cyber cheetah coming at me and he was like, I got one of your boys and To if you want him back, you're gonna have to give me your Twitter followers It that I want cyber cheetah to know preemptively that would not be a difficult choice for me

You may have you may have them. I'm not doing anything with them right now. Yeah, I mean You mean your followers not my children. Yeah, no, I would prefer to keep them around But I've got plans for them. They're gonna get bigger and do stuff to help around the house I'm just gonna I'm just gonna sign off my Twitter account to the real to the real Don Cheetah and Have that be the sort of sunsetting Yeah, that particular sort of social media of fast hit of my brand and then that way

I think I will be able to get some sleep at night So you're gonna just kind of put your Twitter followers in escrow With Don Cheetah for cyber cheetah like that. Yeah, we get him when he's ready the benefit would be I mean listen, there's no benefit to cyber cheetah Kidnapping your child, of course, but I would say the upshot is chances are now real Don Cheetah is going to show up to help you Fight cyber cheetah because like that's the only thing because here's the thing cyber cheetah sure has a lot of cyber abilities But you can't be the original Don Cheetah. He's crafty. He's gonna find a way to beat cyber cheetah That's not in a basketball game. He can't plug into the internet and like download

Math homework and stuff like that. He would be and say and let's let's be honest cyber cheetah would be a better father than I Could could ever be with my human meat brain and body and that's something that I just got to kind of live with can cyber cheetah love Do they address that in the entertainment weekly article? Let me scroll through here and see if the cyber cheetah can love Can you control F? Can love love is real Hmm. These are CGI to Looney Tunes. So that's one thing So it's gonna look weird does MJ show up in the movie Yeah, oh

Yeah, absolutely. You know what I am decisive about the fact it was stupid for me to have any indecision a hundred percent Yeah, Bill Murray to Bill Murray is not well Bill Murray is a hundred percent. They would want Bill Murray 38% chance Bill Murray actually like wanders on to the set the day of filming his scenes. So what about Wayne night? Wayne night Wayne night would be a weird poll for the kids. I think I feel like they was a weird poll then It was something for the grown-ups on that, you know, you'll love Dennis Nedgery

Who's the poll now? Do you think it's like a young Sheldon you get a young Sheldon in there the character young Sheldon? Yeah, why don't I warner who all is owned by Warner Brothers Warner Bros. IP? I'm gonna search Warner Bros. IP and just see like who we can get in super natural speaking if I could make it super natural in there about young Sheldon Sydney looked at me Three nights ago or sitting watching is actually this buck wild YouTube show called armchair detectives from the UK That's like a murder mystery TV game show that laser from the double clicks hooked me into Buck wild anyway, we're watching it and she looks over at me while I'm trying to calculate You know who done it. Yeah rude for starters. She looks at me and she says

Did you hear that young Sheldon? Introduced a plot point that messed up Big Bang theory continuity. What I looked at her I Looked at her and I I just I had this thought like What did you do with my fucking wife cuz neither of us have ever watched Either of these shows and it's so insane that she would bring that to me Like a dead bird that she caught out in the street But also that she saw that headline is like tell me more. I don't care about either of these things I'm but I'm hooked about there's on this this topic

There's layers about that right because of course, there's the layers of like why why would she think you would care? Why did she care? Why did it register with her? But then the deeper level of who cares who cares like what I'm not even saying that there aren't people out there who love Big Bang theory, of course there are but who loves Big Bang theory for the continuity Who's who's watching Big Bang? Oh, there's always somebody I'm just going through the list is every but all the Lego movie that whole that whole squad is in there But let's have we could tap in a little bit deeper and we could go osmosis Joan shows up to fight the basketball

Some of the characters from police academy could do it the hangover guys. We love them and their barf and their dicks Oh, you know Zach Alvin acus could fill the Wayne night role Yes. Yeah, that could do it. They have they have Tap tapped him. I think Willy Wonka There's there's a lot of options. But anyway, this should we start doing the show. Yeah But I have something else I want to do first and this is gonna apologize to me cuz For I'm sorry for what? Well, just a lot of people pointed out that last episode the two of you were a little bit

Mean to yours truly about my wonderful goofs and about all the Lamp jam yeah, all the three pointers that I was just swishing left and right nothing been met Interesting, yeah, and you guys are being a little mean about it. I think you'll see in retrospect, huh? We go back and listen to that episode. Yeah, I'm prepared to accept your apology unconditionally Okay, well, you'll get that we'll get that off the air. Yeah I feel like I feel like there are people out there who would just really like to see the brand We did it America he's back we did it We did it Frazier baby, he's coming back we did it. This is our victory lap

Come on, come on Yo, where did you find this this fucking rim? Yeah, CJ Hughes on YouTube pomegranate honey sauce Frazier theme remix top right? I think they should license this Frazier is back turn this down a little bit. I should ask CJ for permission, but that's go listen to it on YouTube right now CJ Hughes So Frazier is back, baby. I got the press release right here You know, let me tell you about it then then we can talk about it deeper because I feel like this is really juicy stuff This is what the press this is the press release for it and from from the the CBS company for the Viacom haunches Frazier's back

Yeah, he's more exactly the same than ever Huh, huh? Why do I like that? Sorry? It's kind of good. Is that good? It's kind of good. Well, okay Do I like it or is that am I just so confused by it that I don't know if I like it or not, huh? Well, he's gonna they recently announced Kelsey grammar will will reprise. Oh, thank God Celebrated role as dr. Frazier Crane in the new original comic series. They're calling it get this Frazier Huh, okay. I'm kind of frustrated by that I feel like that is that is the only bitter note of this particular symphony is like

Come on. Just call it Crane Can we is interesting if you call it crane then I can put the box that's next to each other Just go fill complete the name if is it not I mean are we married to that? Can we not punch it up a little bit and like go with like Frazier Frazier Unleashed or like oh Game of Frazier Frazier 2000 Frazier 2000. It's good Frazier 20 xx to Frazier fast to Frazier us Yeah, it's good. Damn it. I didn't think you would land it then you kind of did accidentally Having spent over 20 years of my creative life on the Paramount lot both producing shows and performing in several

This is the dog talking, right? No, this is this is Frazier himself Having spent over 20 years of my creative life on the Paramount lot both producing shows and performing in several I'd like to congratulate Paramount plus on its entry into the streaming world this quote. I Can't ask dude. He's like Frazier and he's like how can I definitely definitely definitely make it seem like I did not need this How can I definitely make it seem like I've been doing lots of other things and do not need Frazier. I Don't need Frazier Frazier needs me Frazier needs me said grammar

Frazier called me and asked me to come do the show and who am I to say no to an old friend Frazier said he was managing like that picture of Marty McFly's family I said only I can save him in the culture apparently they've been goofing about me on my brother my brother me and none of their listeners know What the fuck they're talking about and rather than an increasing awareness of Frazier It was actually decreasing awareness of Frazier somehow and so Frazier and I have traded places inside of the giant dark mirror That resides in my basement and now I Gleefully anticipate sharing the next chapter of the continuing journey of dr. Frazier crane With Frazier himself Frazier is one of the most acclaimed comedies in modern television history and truly defines premium storytelling

Said David stop Primo President of CBS Studios there has been a long call from fans for its return and that call Was dimmed only by the fact that many of them died It got a little quieter, but then it's streaming so what can you do? You know sometimes you would just kind of walk outside Especially if you lived in the big city you'd walk outside and you would just hear people just Frazier

There has been a long call for fans return and that call is now answered Thanks to the amazing Kelsey grammar reprising his iconic role of dr. Frazier crane and a brilliant creative plan from Joe Chris and Kelsey That's the team that's bringing this shit. We can't wait to reveal its next chapter on paramount plus I'm assuming the pitch meeting for that brilliant creative plan was they walked in and there was a chalkboard and somebody wrote Frazier and then the other person walked up and put an s at the end Okay pitch, okay, okay, we don't have to spend too long at this, but I just want you guys Each of us is gonna say one thing that you think that they are going to add to Frazier To make it new and quote-unquote better. It's not it's not it's them. It's more Frazier than ever

Talking about why this show is going to present the most fucking pure joy Permanent of any program Imagine the episode where they're like Frazier. You have to join Twitter Imagine the episode where we're wrong. Okay, but here's the thing We're make we're making a tick tock to to promote your radio show or it's a tick tock You are missing one sad, but very true fact That is that John Mahoney a.k.a. Martin Crane passed away in 2018 Yeah, I am a little bit bummed about the the

Absolutely obligatory cemetery visit that will be like or like or what do you think it'll be like a a Champagne toast at some point. Hey for dad, right? Oh, there's gonna be a picture on the mantle that they will occasionally reference Yeah, I mean here it's suck it sucks shit that I can just go ahead and write this But it's to dad to dad Niles and he drinks him he goes it he goes Is this is this man a ship? It's and then the audience like laughs and claps and claps and claps Well, they're gonna sit beer. It'll be beer as a cheers. Oh beer they for dad they open up a paps and he like drinks it and it's like Spits it all into the spaces and then they start kissing it off. What yeah

Yeah, now the question is though because the whole structure was Old dad who seems to be down-to-earth regular person moves in with elitist classist son and Hilarity ensues now is it just going to be elitist classist son? Everything about it. It's so good Is it oh my god guys, it's gonna send me are you kidding me? I'm gonna twitch it. I think I think I'll twitch it Niles has got to come back right No, David Hyde Pierce is too busy with the fucking

Osmosis Jones TV show on the WB. He doesn't have the time for that I'm just saying I don't think it's as much as slam dunk as you might think that he will be back He's got to come back. Then does Daphne come back work. I was some of these people But I'm sure they have like usually if someone disappears like this you just as you can assume they're having like a fucking great stage career over in England Not now, right? But no like a great stage created England working with the fucking RSC or something and like oh, yeah They're actually so talented and you want to leave that behind and then uncle Paramount shows up with a huge check And they're like sorry Heather shit the bed. So now you guys are up. Yeah, America still wants this

So happy do you think Kelsey's gonna give? Do you think Tim Allen has been giving Kelsey grammar some tips on like here's how you cloak it, but But if he has their bad tips Griffin Says I'm a piece of shit and he waves it around Like I don't know like a fucking piece of shit magician who's reveal is I'm a piece of shit I know we went we really need to help people but isn't it weird how Tim Allen? Tim Allen is allowed to keep sucking at ass America refuses to freak out about it and he gets to keep his TV show

It's like America has this one weird dare deal with Tim Allen where it's like you knew what I was when you picked me up like Yeah, watch my home improvement where I was a sack of shit for ten years like yes, right? Correct. You got me. This is none of this is surprising It's like he made a deal with the devil but instead of wishing for immortality He wished for immortal fame and now he hates it and he's trying to get rid of it every turn and he can't Yeah, we all sit we all see him We spit on his feet we spit on his face we hate seeing him in the street and he's like but I'm but I am still Buzz Lightyear How he had one that you do have to respect that

Chris Evans is Buzz Lightyear now, that's true Did they make they did they did make an entirely new Buzz Lightyear show just so they could get rid of Tim Allen They killed old Buzz Lightyear and squished him and used his melted plastic to make a young cool Buzz Lightyear But then they said oh, but this breaks his famous claws of the devil We're gonna give him back a home improvement style game show co-starring Richard Korn the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, dude. What are you talking about? Got another show? Yeah, Tim Allen and Richard Korn have a new home like it's a competition show

Assembly required. Oh, yeah assembly required. There it is for history DIY They done made the damned home improvement fake fake show. Yeah, they made tool time real life God, that's good Everything's hey listen everything's turning around and I know it's been hard for a while This has been a challenging time, but it's but it's turning on a different axis Yeah, that's what's it's like it's not like things were getting very very bad and now they've you turned to be good No, it's like they've it's like they've sort of

They've done almost like a four-leaf clover turn into a different like now the turn it's it's work The direction has a new y'all Be so bold it's like in the rock of the suburbs video where there's the knob that has like rock and suck and And things got turned to suck but now instead of them being turned to rock the knob is just sinking into the console sideways Right, it's going there's the knob has depth now It's like for a while everything was really bad and a little bit weird and every and whoever's in control of the knob said Okay, we get it. I'll fix it and then they turned it So it's a lot of bad and a lot of weird and it's like well now the weird is yeah

It is kind of distracting from the bad for sure, but it is still bad But the weird is also very weird Okay, this is not gonna be why is everything returning to 2003 why is ever it's like, you know what we need back? Tool time not even home improvement fucking tool time in Frazier What if the Frazier reboot was him doing an advice radio program? It would basically be My brother my brother me and Frazier that would be so good and now watch this show It's just a 24-hour live stream from Central Perk a made-up coffee shop But now we've built it in real life and you can watch security cameras while people drink coffee

If they made a real Central Park in New York, it would be the most profitable business ever Yeah, yeah, I haven't they done that get you get it together. It's probably probably an Abu Dhabi or something Did you know they made a whole park based off of it and they call it a Central Park? Okay That was a good one Travis here in true privileges have been returned. Yeah This is not gonna be one of those this is gonna be a regular episode with a long intro Did you guys know that Kelsey grammar did voice acting in one video game called quest for the code? Which is an educational game about asthma in which you played a bad guy named mucus air gone huh?

That game had Cuba Gooding jr. In it and whoopie Goldberg and funk master flex and Jeff Goldblum and Shaquille and Neil And Glenn Close and Gwyneth Paltrow all in this great game. Yeah Now I know what I'm gonna stream on Twitch tonight. Yeah Damn it. Well that actually now I don't have time to do anything We are gonna go to a break, but after the break after that we go to the money zone. It would be just like a regular Episode it's not going to be weird. I won't even do much God if you don't want me to we just do questions And it'll be nice and chill. That's okay. Yeah, I love it. Let's go I

Want to say a That if you haven't tried Sunbasket yet, you're sincerely missing out. I am Loving Sunbasket, you know, I had last night. It was so good Tell me roast chicken with some like chili spices and a cabbage slaw with pepitas in there all stewed together for a long time It's delicious. I got it. Hey Justin I'm getting recipes from this service of things. I've never even heard of eggs in purgatory Don't mind if I do actually that's so wild. I've heard too much about that getting dinner on the table quickly Doesn't have to mean sacrificing nutrition

Sunbasket is cool because it's a meal delivery service But you can get sort of recipes tailored to however you and your family like to eat So it's not like a one-size-fits-all thing. There's lots of different recipes you can choose from it's fun, too There's usually like 20 recipes or something more like that. I haven't counted and and not only that jay man Yeah, not only is it a Service that will send you ingredients you make them yourself. They now have fresh and ready meals Yeah, they come freshly prepared ready to heat up in his little six minutes. No, no BS That's our plan for once the baby gets here is to have some of those in our in our in our fridge ready to rock and roll

Yeah, they're just 899 and includes meals like butter chicken with a basmati rice pilaf Beef chili with cheddar and Greek yogurt creamy mushroom penny with baby spinach and almonds. It's amazing I'm getting so hungry right now Sunbasket is offering $35 off your order when you go right now to sunbasket.com Slash my brother an inter promo code my brother at checkout That's sunbasket.com slash my brother an inter promo code my brother at checkout for $35 off your order Sunbasket.com slash my brother an inter promo code my brother Can I tell you guys about quip? So it's a science fact that no one likes brushing their teeth. It's terrible

It's horrible. Yeah, I mean you'll do it right because you need to but I don't know anybody that's like Oh, I can't wait before bed tonight. Mmm. Go and brush my teeth. It's not like a thing you look forward to until Now and let me tell you why because of quip Quip has revolutionized oral care for me Because the toothbrush it's easy to use It's got that two-minute timer where it pulses every 30 seconds to tell you to switch So like you know, you're getting in the right brushing time But also it Bluetooth connects to your phone so that you can get rewards for it. That's great

Then there's the flossing thing which is really cool Make sure you only use the floss you need You're always from floss and you feel cool doing it Look come some kind of a space man flossing your teeth and now they've got gum that is good for your teeth Quip has launched a new gum It comes in a great dispenser that reminds you of those one-click candies. Check it. Check it. Check it. Oh Oh That action an oral cowboy. Well action

Maybe not at oral cow. Okay quick. Can we talk about can we talk about oral cowboy? And let's do a quick just a quick meeting of the triumvirate. Do you think we gotta take out where I said oral cowboy? No, I think there's gun. There's gun. There's gonna be some people Hey griff some people aren't gonna love it, but you can't let them what they share has taught me with Twitter is like You can't let other people damn you're a shine and one thing I've learned about Tim Allen is that cancer culture doesn't exist So I think you say whatever you want him can't get him always quietly Quip gum can help prevent cavities and fresh and breath when chewed for 20 minutes after eating it sugar-free It has tooth-friendly xylitol with zero calories and it's in a substitute for brushing and flossing

But it is a great support for your oral health. You pair it with that quip electric toothbrush refillable floss You're good to go. And if you go to get quip comm slash my brother right now You can get a free plastic dispenser with any refill plan. That's a free dispenser at get quip comm slash my brother GET Q you IP comm slash my brother quip the good habits company Hey, I'm Janet Farnie host of the JV Club podcast Ah high school was it a time of adventure romance and discovery Or a time of angst Disappointment and confusion. We're all tied together by four years of trauma at this place, but enjoy adulthood, I guess

The truth is it was both So join me on the JV Club podcast where I invite some great friends like Kristen Bell Angela Kinsey Oscar Nunez Neil Patrick Harris and Keegan Michael Key to talk about high school The good the bad and everything in between my teenage mood swings are getting harder to manage the JV Club Find it on maximum fun All right, so now we can have actual an actual First question is so powerful and I need it in our lives this Valentine's Day My partner and I were a bit adventurous in the bedroom. Oh, yeah, and I ended up injuring my leg

I work in retail which requires a lot of physical labor and this new injury Will stop me from doing as I normally do Okay, it's a gun too. Why are you there becoming like Wario? I Didn't stretch properly. It's a sin Now you're Cripp Keeper Cripp and Wario are lovers very close How do I explain this injury to my boss and co-workers without looking like a sex fiend?

That's from Love Sick and Somerset Why not? No, why? No, okay, it's 2021. Why do I do why do I do I think you know I'm just saying thank you. Oh listen. I wouldn't do it But I'm saying maybe you're the one to start the revolution to kind of Distigmatize love making Fucking workplace harassment

How did you love no gauging and love making with my partner? Hold on I need to turn up my headphones so I can hear the dumb shit you're saying okay, okay? You're wrong. Okay. Hmm. You can't go to the work Imagine like imagine you're a prisoner at work You're a prisoner there and so it's like like if fucking Rick hoes over from the car stereo department. He's like I guess you're wondering about my cast. I wasn't But yeah, I could tell what's happening. Well me and my old lady were well, you know the vertical Tango And then I fucking fell off the bed

Sleeping fucking we do I have a bunker bed with my Business partner Kevin has the lower bunk and I had the upper bunk. Give me my lady We're doing a little bit of the forbidden Lombada and I roll clean out I had asked Kevin if I could use the bottom bunk that night, but it being Valentine's Day He had already had it with his life So we were do we were making a real rump roast up there when I did slip off my leg got caught in the ladder snap That's not even when it broke. I was hanging there for an hour and said hey Kevin. Can you help me? I'm almost done, but the thing is Kevin is notoriously long in his love making

A lot of YouTube videos from sting Down the hell no no you go ahead and ask me the question. I know you're dying. That's I'm not dying That's it. Did I finish? Oh, yeah? Kevin did not It's a problem with Kevin for me dangling upside down from a ladder with my leg broken in four places to be a fibula Yes, I did finish for the first time ever So that's my thing as my thing Unfortunately, just my own burden to bear what I need you to do is come over and Kathy baits me in misery and just right when I'm about to

electronically Shatter my tibia Shatter them just shatter them. I don't have an old lady. I'm sorry. I lied about that part. It was self-pleasuring Roll right off the bed. I got I need to not pull so hard. I gotta be back I got a customer. Damn it. This always happened just when things are getting good. You can't I That's not what I was pitch. I wasn't pitching volunteer. I'm saying if your boss is like, how did you hurt yourself? I think you do a first deflection. I'm like, uh, I don't really want to talk about it And then they're gonna push it because of course if you hear someone say I don't really want to talk about it

You they probably do no Well, that's what everyone assumes your point of view is so different from mine. No, I'm not saying that it's true I'm saying that that's what everybody assumes They're gonna say like, oh, come on and then you're going to say I injured myself Making love with my partner on Valentine's Day where you've gone terribly fucking right you can't you can't set a Sexual harassment honey pop for people that lures them into asking innocent questions that that are followed by a sexual Rejoinder you simply can't okay, then let me pitch this not in this environment Slightly different slightly

Okay, they ask how you hurt your leg you tell them you went to see the big game You were sitting in the stands quarterback got injured They asked you to step in because they knew that you used to play in college Yeah, you stepped in you won the big game, but in the process shattered your leg. They can read all about it on your blog Okay, but then you do have to start a blog. Okay, that's the one catch that it and I don't see any way of working around it Frankly, I don't know how to avoid the blog problem But you do need to start a blog and you're gonna have to backdate a lot of posts so that your first post Isn't you winning the big game and you're gonna have to keep up with it afterwards

So it doesn't seem like you just wrote that for a life. That is very important. Yeah I feel bad that it's taken us this long to say this but Nice dude Hey, dude, wait, is it not hold on is the nice because they engaged in lovemaking with their partner or because they injured themselves doing it Okay, no, I get I guess Griffin I'm just confused We all been there Nice, we've all broken our leg. It's so sick that like somebody who's this cool listens to our shit It's so sick fucking rad

Hey, I have the Yahoo here and this one this one was sent in by Graham Graham robot. Thank you, Graham It's the answer. She's they're anonymous. So I'll call them Freezer just say it freezer ask. Yeah Why don't break rooms have mechanical bowls? Thank you I think I speak for all of us when I say every workplace needs a mechanical bowl in their break room It would really liven up another otherwise tall day at work Well, I guess it depends on how big for me on this particular subject. You do not reflect my needs and interests I mean the ideal is always like a foosball table or an air hockey table

That's what you want in the break room But of course you're not gonna put that in because then your employees are gonna go over Every break mechanical bowl. I will say the upside of this as now. I'm a boss in the scenario I know at most they're staying on that thing for like two minutes, right? It's not gonna be like I'll get back to where I'm on a 20-minute run boss I just can't give up now like that's not gonna happen. I'm getting them back out there. Yeah, the turnaround. It's quick Have you ever even had a little bit of interest? Have you ever seen them again? I've never first of all, I've never been to a place that has a mechanical bowl in it

Really? Yeah, but I've never you live in Texas Right. Well, sorry. I've been lots of places with real bowls in it. Oh, okay. Yeah But I don't I think I've ever seen what I've been like that seems like a fun adventure for Griffin That seems like a fun adventure for Griffin to go on. It just feels like You know day-to-day, I'm a 37 year old now and as I look around in the world even in my own home I see things that could potentially destroy me, right? Yes, even just Stepping on flat ground wrong, right? So the idea that then I would say I'm gonna get on that thing That is trying to bruise my gooch so bad that it is literally its only purpose and again a feature

Not a bug a feature of the mechanical bowl is is Gooch Bruising. It's the design of the thing It's like when they were doing R&D on it They were like, do you think this is gonna bruise the gooch too much and they said too much. We want more We want the science so that people can't stay on it Risk of permanently injuring themselves. Yeah It I don't know that there's a mechanical animal I would want to get to oh, yeah If there was a mechanical man at a bar and he would give me a piggyback ride that seems like oh, I take

Up onto my back. I'm Mr. Roboto. I'll walk you around just like a horsey. I love that. I would actually do that. Thank you You're welcome You're welcome. Oh, there's a badass answer here There's a badass answer here that the only not badass thing about it is that anonymous user So I'm gonna call him Jim Allen Jim Allen responded this question said it's a liability issue Some snowflake will end up cracking their head open and then they'll sue. How about a meat cone station? I think break rooms should have a meat cone station and all of the fixings to whip up an awesome hero Wow fuck. Yeah, how?

Incredibly specific Not like a build your own sandwich station a Me cone Hero station. I don't think I don't know that meat cone is what that that device is called not at all But I it's but this person's clearly They fucking razed us snowflakes. Oh, yeah, they got us Yeah, because real tough people non-snowflakes

Pebbles if you will I'm just trying to think of something that's like opposite of a snowflake Would ride on it and they'd fall off and crack their head open and stand up and be like it's cool They'd say I'm cool all my fault Right, but then you know, I walk into the H&R block break room I'm like, why is there a mechanical bull here and my boss is like ride it or you'll be fired Yeah, I ride it and it immediately bucks me back into the wall. They is sort of Immediately adjacent to or the ceiling because it's not that high drop ceiling, but right and I break every bone and then I'm If only I'd been more sort of outdoorsy. Yeah, and you're just kind of a wiener at that point if you cry, you know what I mean

Well, imagine if oh imagine if you were such like a little cry baby You had to go to the hospital because of the bones you broke riding the mechanical bull in the H&R block break room Can you imagine? How would you ever live that down? Right? Oh my god. I'd be so embarrassed Yeah, they should just be a meat cone station There's then you know some vet, but then you know some veggie vegetarian. It's gonna be like You're right some snowflake we should probably make it an impossible meat cone and then have maybe some gluten-free bun options Yeah, not for me. I mean I might eat it ironically. Oh boy. I'm gonna get off that bull. I'm gonna slice up some of that meat I'm gonna eat it between two big doctor six books impossible meat cone. It is made of roast beef

But it's in non Euclidean excuses. It's like it's a swirl of me a miasma of meat I call it the meat has mode when I cut it more meat shows up on it Yes, damn it. And and it's more meat than there was before so cut it sparingly lest it take over our plane of existence Do another question? Yes. Yeah, I Just got a job at a Midwest gas station. I just got a job At a Midwest gas station It sells great pizza I'm trying to get in the blues

Yeah, it sounds so you're like you're halfway there I saw a thing recently where it's like if you only sing every other line of the blues It sounds like you're having a great day It's I got a great job, but no, no, no, no, no, no, and I love it so much like you just leave out the bad parts It's a great day. Okay. Um, I work in the kitchen Where every hour on the hour to do to do we place individual pieces slices in the warmer and the problem is Pizza leftover from literally just an hour ago Go straight into the garbage

Which should be a crime? I am of course going through a phase that all 40 year old white man go through where they become obsessed with the blues Happened to me will it Justin? Happens to us all the blues don't come for us all Travis. It happened to good men It happened to blue should happen to blue should happen to acroid Yeah, I think it happened to blue should again. I think it probably came back around it hit the third secret Beluche Happens to all of us should I steal these sweet slices From dying unfulfilled if so how considering and I'm not always alone in the kitchen

The pizza rack can be seen in access from the lobby and there are cameras any insight will be great And that's from garbage pizza man, huh? I mean, I'm sure there's lots of ways to get this pizza to hungry people that need it that you could I'm sure you can figure out some kind Some kind of pipeline pizza pipeline there. Yeah, I'm willing to bet Okay, I'm assuming here. I've had lots of jobs in my time, right and across all of them the the I would say the similar Scenario is that the boss directly above you not the Haya boss, but I mean whoever's like shift manager or whatever They barely care. Yeah, they care enough to have gotten a job above you

But not so much that they want to be in charge and so I would suggest not asking it and saying hey I'm gonna take this leftover pizza And and give it to people who need it And that person is going to say okay. Okay. Go for it. Whatever man now if you say can I They'll say I don't think you can I don't think you're supposed to but if you say it as though you already know you're supposed to They won't question it. Yeah, this isn't this isn't a tough one. I don't think anyone's gonna come at you Well, I say that but they did have sort of a Recent situation camera where where they had armed guards protecting a dumpster that have food on it so people couldn't take that free food

By which I mean that was the food that was in the dumpster So in this sort of late capitalist health society that we all are sort of prisoners of it is difficult to say what is silly and what isn't Really, I'm saying that you could be the gas station pizza Robin Hood if Robin Hood went up to carriages and said hey Do you have any stuff you're about to throw away? Are you done with that? I'll take it and give it to people who fucking need it. Yeah, and people were like this outlaw Have a rest

He's solving a problem for us and for them. This is a crime. I This is always a tricky thing right because if you are giving the food away after a certain period of time Then as a customer of the place buying that pizza becomes an immoral act Interesting interesting Predement Jair does this right Predement Jair Donates their food. Is that how it's pronounced? How did no don't say anything else Travis? I the next word to hear out of your lips better be how you thought that was pronounced Well, I've only heard it said out loud words out of your mouth

Predement J Okay, I mean probably you're your way sounds fucking highfalutin. Okay, I've only heard a lot by James a caster frankly We're gonna check you. We're gonna check YouTube real quick. Can we get no no no quiet quiet quiet quiet quiet We are looking at how to pronounce the name of this international Sandwich shop chain. Well, that's already a mouthful to say this sandwich shop chain based in the United Kingdom Popularly referred to as simply pret. So how would you go about pronouncing the same is that literally comes from French meaning ready to eat Ready pret to eat Mangee well, there he goes

Travis McRoy But in English, it's normally referred to as pret a man J Pret a man J pret a man J from French Pret a man J There it is Travis nailed it. I've been learning French on babble. Thank you Julian. I forget what that was hip That was fucking hypnotic. Yeah, I if that had gone on for 20 minutes This is that would have been the best episode of the show. Yeah, a very good episode I don't think I think of the latest my brother my brother me

I'm glad they finally added that French brother. Yeah got a lot better Michelle the one brother. That's like sonically appealing Yeah, the one that I actually don't mind hearing taught right. Yeah Do we want another real quick yahoo? Yeah, can I just tell you guys real quick? I don't I don't want to make this into a much squad, but can I tell you something? Oh boy. It's a much squat content Yeah, I can't finish I said I wasn't gonna do it. Yeah, but it's gonna be this is like timely and I just Wanted to share it real quick. Did you hear Bob? Did you hear what Mountain Dew's doing? What Mountain Dew hey, it's they're doing something on top of just their usual already pretty wild thing Here's what they doing ready?

Mountain Dew is making Mountain Dew is bringing Bob Ross back from the dead what be a deep fake to paint a YouTube YouTube video of him painting a Mountain Dew bottle for fun activity now let but listen if he has stayed alive Then he would he would have done this anyway, so it's like it doesn't it's like not that big a deal just in the sense that you said sounds like a Bought was fed a bunch of wild headlines Yeah from the last ten years. Yeah, that's what it fucking spit out Sure. Yeah, it's a lost episode is how it's being presented the lost episode will premiere on YouTube on March 6th

And we'll feature a long-form video tutorial for do nation I declare myself president by the way of do nation To tune in and pick up paintbrushes to create happy little droplets upon a do inspired Scenic canvas alongside the video tutorial fans will see this campaign come to life through 15 and Second television 30 second television commercials inspiring all to embrace their creativity and do it at their leisure I'm inspired I'm inspired to never die because this is what happens the reality of this is a Mountain Dew a Pepsi co-executive had to approach a member of Bob Ross's family indeed and say we'd like to give you a couple sackfuls of money

Right to take the ghost of Bob Ross and use him to promote our extreme soft drink Mountain Dew and someone in the family had to be like this is what dad This sounds exactly what all the old man love to do the two now I don't I'll don't begrudge the family on this by the way Bob Ross passed away if I pass away. I want my kids to jam me in any fucking Mountain Dew commercially can get their hands on Yes, I was like if my kid wants to do it now If the mountain do cyber necromancers come to my house and they go to my two beautiful sons And they say we do have to unfortunately

We do have to generate a full 3d nude mesh of your father in order to get this commercial across the finish line I want I want my two sons to say like yes make us make a virtual nude version of my dead father So we can get that Mountain Dew money because I want a legacy to leave behind what I'm pointing out is the executive That there had to be a meeting where someone said we're doing this right like we're gonna approach them We're gonna ask them if we can use their dad They're dead ass father. They're dead ass dude to sell Mountain Dew We're doing it. We're real cuz we all laughed about it when we first said it and then we kind of stopped laughing And then it started to seem like we were really gonna do it and I have to ask are we really gonna do this?

Okay, it's funny because Bob Ross probably doesn't have anything to do with the Mountain Dew brand because the Mountain Dew brand is so Antithetical to the Bob Ross brand and that's what makes it so funny on Bob Ross Yeah, do it to him. Is it? Yeah, it's like a prank on him. What if it ends with him? Like he's almost done painting and just sighs deeply and his arm falls to his side. He's like I can't do this What the fuck is that really? Really guys? I can't and he just like punches the canvas then walks off If cyber Bob Ross hollow Bob Ross and algae rhythm had to had to start a battle for the future of

Twitter. Yeah This car I'm not kidding This conversation has made me want to lie down because it is it it Justin's did say it's 2021 And this is this does feel peak 2021 in a very deeply animatrix way Yeah, that really makes me want to just sort of lay down on the ground and just think to recap Happy little droplets. Okay, sometimes in life you get a little thirsty and when a refreshing opportunity goes along No, just What is this

This tastes like piss The future tastes like piss. I'm glad I'm dead just to recap in this episode Frazier's back. Yeah And the toolman Taylor Tim's Tim is fine bugs is banished bugs is out Yeah Bob Ross is back What year is it? Yeah, what year is it? What episode is it? Well, it was 551 but that is In the past in the rear view we've experienced it. We've done it. We've lived it together We made it through together, but time is a flat circle. So maybe a hundred episodes from now

It will be episode 551 again. Hey, thank you so much for listening. We really appreciate you. You're the best Yeah, that is true. I'm gonna tell you about some exciting things Before we wrap up. This is a new theme song. Isn't it is it? No, I think yeah next week. It's very good y'all It's very good. Oh good We have partnered with I Need Diverse Games I Need Diverse Games is an organization that works to improve inclusivity in gaming Not just like in streamers and players but in the industry side as well So we've partnered with them to do a series of grants

For equipment to help people improve or start a podcast The the grants are designed for people of color who are looking to improve their equipment or start a new podcast And you can check that out over at I Need Diverse Games and submit your application for that We're really excited. Tonya over there does great work and they do great work So even if you're not interested in signing up for the grant if that sounds like a cool Organization you should go over there and show them a little support. I I Speaking of gaming I've started doing a twitch and it's a whole lot of fun and the community that is building over there

It's very nice, and I'm really here for it. Do you show me a fortnight dance? I'm for any right now That's real good trap. You can find me at twitch.tv slash the Travis McRoy Thanks to everybody who joined us for the virtual Taz live show on Friday that video by the way is available until the 19th You can find that at live dot the macro family We got our merch up over in our merch store macro merch calm our pin of the month It's sausage to me is benefiting feeding Texas, which is the largest hunger relief organization in Texas Currently their network is supporting warming shelters for the unhoused as well as those without power and water in addition to replacing Parished food and feeding Texans in need. We've also got a really great empty bowl pin

We've got 20 big dog run pin. Go check those out. You can pre-order the adventure zone crystal kingdom That's our new graphic novel coming out July 13th, 2021 you can pre-order that over at the adventure zone comic calm That's that's it. That's we're not gonna take up anything else Travis really banged it all out there So I'm gonna do the final yahoo. It was sent in by Fedra. Thank you. It's a yahoo answers user Just question mark they ask is there a way to stop the apples on my tree from growing if I want to keep the tree and Inundated by the large apple amount My name is Justin McRoy on Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. It's been my brother. My brother made kiss your dad's school We're on the lips. Okay, that was the show

Hope you had some fun talked for an hour and now our job is done Go back into the world face the day ahead. Please don't tell our grandparents all the cuss words we said Maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported