My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 553: The Planet’s Dying, Pringles

Episode Date: March 22, 2021

We’ll admit it: Of all the organizations to crack open Pandora’s Box to unleash the secrets of immortality, we did not expect Pringles to make the shortlist. But life has a funny way of working sometimes! Life also has a funny way of prolonging itself infinitely on the surface of a curved potato crisp. Suggested talking points: Spring Cleaning, Baby Catching, Super Duper Bowl, PZZLR, A Master Chief Burger with Cortana Sauce, Getting Rid of Time, Forgotten Secrets Support AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate Support the AAPI Civic Engagement Fund: https://aapifund.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better It's better it's better

It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me and if I show the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. Woof woof. That's me chasing my own tail. I'm old dog Travis McElroy You're jealous brother. I'm jealous of Travis's thing because he's been doing it. Yeah, you ever see those good, isn't it? Hey, hey, hey, you ever seen one of them videos on Facebook where the people share like I took a picture of myself every day for 10 years Yeah, I see that and I'm like fuck that looks cool. I wish I could have done that, but then I think that's too late I can't you guys you guys lack a commitment to

Really anything but let alone bits and that's why if I start doing a bit even if everybody hates it I'll just keep doing it. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a good bit and I'm Griffin McElroy You could start doing it now griffin, you know the best time to start doing an intro bit is yesterday and the second best time is today Damn, that's good shit except we weren't recording yesterday. So then I would learn then what was I doing? So Do we have an intro? I Thought we just check in as bro. Oh, okay. No, uh, sorry. Mine was worth a faithful. Yeah, I bet

I have to I have to imagine Otherwise, why did we start recording? There's a yeah that kind of deal. There's an emptiness in your heart There's an emptiness in this in the in our heart in my show in the show speak on that Yeah, Griffin follow that impulse. Okay. Well, and when we're doing this show, we rely on It's on the bit on the bits to sort of float us through the hour, right? Yeah But without the bits, it's just the three of us sort of standing in a big white empty room and it's so bright in here And it's bright because it's exposing us. We are nude Because there's no bits to hide our shame behind and there's a huge emptiness here now

I get that Griffin, but maybe that means that this is where we'll do our best work I think for too long the three of us have relied literally for the entire length of the show have relied on you know bits yahoo answers Questions having ideas these kinds of things we've relied on that too heavily So what if we just did a whole episode where we didn't make any jokes? We didn't come up with any good ideas We didn't have any thought starters or anything. We just kind of actually as liberating us that sounds I feel like we've unintentionally tried that a few times in the last few years Yeah, and it hasn't gotten try that too, and it didn't go good the response hasn't been great

Whole episode about war with grandpa didn't we yeah, we did do the whole episode about war with grandpa that nobody but that was maximum Artifice so this is the other way around right? Oh, there's a minimum artifice. Yeah, yeah with this Spring is here. Uh-huh shit. Yeah, bud now. Follow that follow that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Spring is here, and that means one thing around these time this this neck of the woods time for spring cleaning Okay, I'm gonna get out some of the parts of this podcast that are not working. Oh I'm stir. Yeah, and and you know, I don't know if we want no no There's you don't want to bring in new stuff while you're spring cleaning. You just want to clear out some of the crux Yeah, there's let me see what's under the bed here. Let me see

I got one. That's I'm just immediately immediately. I'm gonna get one out. Okay. Just let me crank it Let me crank one out gross one J-O metaphors So that was the last one of those they're done. I'm getting rid of in the spring cleaning I'm getting rid of pretending like I'm ending munch squad. I'm not gonna run squad I'm getting rid of I'm sunsetting the bit where it's in its final days. Okay, so net so that that bit is now Retired as they say on Blank check we're hanging its jersey

Yeah, we are having me and Travis still make them jokes About munch squad. No, it's it's done. The continuity is done. Okay. It's important to reset continuity for our show, right? Yeah, new new listeners aren't lost. So that's not a thing anymore. I don't I don't say that sure I'd like to get rid of something. It's just been bothering me for a while. Yeah, the part of the show Oh, and it's kind of like after we've made everything, right? Yeah, we still talk for like another five minutes. Yeah before that I'd so I would like just get rid of the closing interesting So I just want to end whatever the last thing is

So we say a joke right and we're like Kelsey grammar's dick and then the MP3 stops Yeah, no, you know, I think we can leave the silence. Oh So that we don't get people like messaging us late, I think the there's got cut off or whatever, right? But we just I don't think we need Closing stuff anymore. Okay, interesting I'm gonna say this and this is a huge one and may actually be the most difficult one To actually stick to and I this is not for the boys because I do not think I could muzzle them like this in in good In good faith, but I am never going to say

the word Frasier again on this. Oh, wow. We're sunsetting Frasier and there's a lot of our younger fans So I think are gonna be fully fucking stoked about that because they don't they don't know who this old Northwestern fucking nosy Jag off is his name's phrased his name Is a word I won't be saying on the show anymore. Yeah And that's it and that's it hey

Can I just say Griffin that people are gonna think that that was a really good at it by Rachel right there? No, I caught it. That was just an amazing self-edit. Yeah, it was very red and it was not intentional I fully was about to say that Northwestern gentleman's name. It sounded like it sounded Computer-clean. Yeah, good. That's all right. I I it's one last thing that I do want to cut from the show I just want to cut wherever we say the word this. Oh I don't want to say that word anymore any of my and if we do we'll put a quarter in the jar Okay, that's gonna rack up pretty fast. Yeah, but then we'll spin that on ice cream Okay, we can keep doing all of our great bits like where we do stuff

That's just for people to use on tiktok right that we do all the time But now you fucked it up. Trav the possibly the whole show because now I'm going to be thinking Constantly for the rest of my life about that word and how I can avoid saying it about this. Yeah Sorry, that's a quarter One of the things that I've seen a lot of people complain about and I'd like to discuss sunsetting is The very lengthy Introduction sequences. Oh, they're kind of rambly people complain sometime. I've seen this you guys aren't believe me But it's true. I've seen people complain about the fact that we don't do enough questions. Okay, is that I I'm not kidding

I don't know if it's a problem or not like it doesn't bother me because They know we've been doing this for like 11 years, right? We've answered basically everything It's thought starters and also nobody has new problems. They just have same problem. What to leave tired of it this time what you leave the person they want to ask out has blue hair instead of like red hair or Whatever, but it's all the same Reductive no, you're being reductive what I'm saying is everybody has same problem and it is brothers What to leave right want to do other? Yes, or how make friends? No, you're Travis. You're not

You're never been on the same wavelength as us fuck I guess I just kind of an introvert and I've liked being inside What you've been driven mad without the Travis without the the incredible power of people applauding for him dresses withered into a He's like fucking Gary Oldman in Dracula when he has it fed. He's just lurking around He's like one of the little snot creatures in Ursula's lair in the little Yeah, I'm he actually calls me a tinkerbell for that very reason. Yeah without people applauding for me. I am dying Yeah, all right. Well

Let's do it. Oh, thank you. Oh, yeah, hooray for you So we're gonna do actual questions because this is how this is this is real You know, that's like 75 cents by the way. What is just said to the THI word My partner and I are expecting our first baby in September congratulations After our first midwife appointment my wife asked me if I wanted to catch the baby at delivery Lovely brothers. What is the best technique to catch my child and not experience a big? Oh, oopsie on day one This is from Butterfingers Buckeye and Akron and pal You don't know listen

Don't do it. Listen. I want to do an intro question an intro episode. Yeah We're here. We're gonna have a lot of fun And we're gonna have a lot of fun You should probably just do it. However the very nice midwife says you should do it, right when when Dahlia was Born we did a scheduled C-section and all Morning as we were prepared for this at least three different medical professionals asked me When we remove the baby. Yeah, do you want to watch and I said at least three different times? No

Not on your life Yeah, and then a fourth medical professional who failed to ask you that question got evolved in the delivery Oh beans and when the baby was removed held it up to me like Grafiki did Simba and I was like put that thing away Down wipe it down. What are you doing? And here's the thing that you're not expecting Butterfingers Buckeye and Akron when a baby comes out They're gonna be a little blue and they look fucked up babies and they come out of shit Oh, man, and oh, I'm looking at it going. Oh, no, and now I say not it I would say my daughter dot but in that moment Oh, no, and the doctor and all the everybody else just kept saying like oh good color. Oh looks good

No looks good. I don't like I think it's that's a good color. So here's my point question asker You're gonna have a lot on your mind. You don't want to be in there You're gonna have a lot on your mind. You don't want to be in there I mean you got to be in there and you got to be supportive, but Like I can't imagine like like imagine you're a major league baseball catcher and also Picture it's like some kind of monster. Yeah There's a lot of stuff in that room that if you look at it It's gonna fuck you up pretty bad. And so you need to be you got to keep your head on a swivel in there

I do not think catching Well, okay, they're gonna have to catch this baby. So what's the best technique? Maybe some kind of again? Okay, you're gonna get seven other large people and a hula hoop with like some fabric stretch So I love that cuz that can like catch people jumping out of windows if the building is on fire, right? So it sure they think has anybody ever actually seen that happen where they stretch out the big the big trampoline And then people jump out of the buildings and they catch them in the trampoline. That's gotta happen, right? Don't say surely. Have you seen it happen? Have you seen it? I've seen it in cartoons. No Travis. Yeah, I've talked about this I've seen I've seen mr. Game and watch do it, but that's

Any true to life, you know, if there's one thing that I remember from middle school. Well, you're gonna want to do Get a little parachute attached to the baby ahead of time get some cushioning around it Yeah, right and so that way even if it falls from a second story that cushioning that Maybe you can like suspend it in the middle of a structure with like some rubber bands Here we go now Travis is building fucking a science fair project where you see how high up you can drop the egg from Yes, exactly, but with a baby you see so yeah If if we're not is that not what that test was supposed to be for as we're repairing prototype for this exact moment. Yeah Hey, can I do a yahoo? I'd love that this one was like that whole time Justin didn't say anything about how he would catch a baby

Yeah, I'm not going to But think about how much great free time we'll have when you are in the court battle of your fucking lives, okay? But don't listen to us. You don't have to do any of that. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's enough. That's enough to get that out of Do it this one sent in by Graham Robuck. Thank you Graham. It's yahoo answers user good Vegeta who asks Should the NFL create a super duper Bowl? If if the team who lost the Super Bowl had better regular season record than team who defeated them They can ask for a super duper Bowl rematch It's played in a special gigantic arena with lots more fans

If the team with better regular season record doesn't want a challenge to rematch for Super duper Bowl out of belief They would lose again Then the next season they could use that challenge left over to claim a first seed playoff spot with first round buy interesting now Okay, I like the concept, but I don't think that they're executing it the way I would choose you I think a Super Bowl right you have the number one and number two teams, right and whoever wins Should then in the Super duper Bowl one team play against whoever they lost or like whoever lost and the third team Right now. It's one team against two teams. Oh, that's great, right? So it's like, okay. Well, you could be that one team Let's see how far we can go with this and then no if they win

We go to the Super duper extra mega Bowl, right? And that's one team versus three teams and you can see where I'm going with no, okay? Let me hit you with I twist it Super Bowl who wins whoever won the last one right Tampa Bay. That's all right. Yeah, sure. Okay, Bucks win But then The Bucks have to compete against the winner of the World Series. Okay from that year This is the Super duper ball where the winner the greatest of all the each of the sports gets to compete against the top sport Oh's yeah, like athlete like this athlete

Compete in football or in baseball trivia, baby. Oh Yeah, I'm meeting of them. I Flat-footed you see I like oh boy. I like if we did it Wwm by we I mean the national football league of which I am not a representative But I would I think the NFL should follow the wwe And and how they do it where they do the the money in the bank and whoever grabs the briefcase They can exchange that to fight the champ right then and there whenever the fuck they bring the briefcase in So I don't know what this is the all-star game

Whoever wins the all-star game can like immediately after the Super Bowl the confetti's flying They're lifting Tom Brady up my shoulders and he's you know He's he's thinking about fucking a mattress He's doing his whole thing that he fucking does and then but you hear not so fast And it's the all-star team And they get to they get to do it now and that's a great strategy because the Buccaneers are so tired I'm gonna take it and turn it just a little bit griffin, okay So the Buccaneers are just one right Tom Brady up on everyone's shoulders think about fucking a mattress, right?

Then not so fast. Who's that? It's the dark Buccaneers. Oh Buccaneers, it's like their exact replicas, right? They have to beat the clones. I love this Yes, I always love this right it's the best part of like any video game where you have to fight yourself and like you move to the right And you move to the left that's what I'm talking about. That's good. Yeah, that's good Or we could just go from fancy seven style Where after the after they lift up Tom Brady up on his shoulders he's thinking about having a good sex with a mattress and They're celebrating but then he looks back on the field and he says set me down and he slowly walks back out on the field where

The Kansas City Chiefs Quarterback Patrick Mahomes Uh-huh is there and he's shirtless and we do it Sephiroth style where if you really want to win the Super Bowl You really want to win the Super Bowl? We settled this one-on-one quarterback versus quarterback Yeah, yeah on QB street ball just like we used to play where one quarterback Everybody's got giant heads throws it to To just throws it down the street and then you run and just try to grab okay They have to pick someone from the crowd

Okay, so that way, you know, it's like this is all about quarterback skill. Yeah, right. We're just gonna pick because okay Here's the thing sometimes when the Super Bowl is done, right? The quarterbacks get a lot of credit I feel so empty after the Super Bowl is done, right? No, I was here before the next Super Bowl. Fuck yeah I was bad for like the other members of the team right because the quarterback gets so much credit So when the Super Bowl is done, we switch quarterbacks. We play again exact same game Oh, we swapped quarterbacks now. We see how this game goes, right? Still gonna probably reflexively pass to their guys

Well, okay, we okay now The quarterbacks are gonna rotate to safety and everybody else is gonna move up one spot and we play again Okay, right That's maybe it's punter I don't want to downplay because I couldn't do any of them But there has to be a like and you're at this end There's somebody on that team who's there's gotta be somebody on every team in the major sports who sucks shit But they yeah, who's just hoping like man. I hope I don't go in. Yeah

That's good. That was me in every sport I ever played up to this point. I'm just happy to be here We solved it. Yep. That was an easy one Yeah, I wish they were all but I'll slid down that smoothly because it normally there's a little bit more of a challenge Um, can I so real quick? This isn't really a question, but I you know, I go through the the emails and From time to time. I think it's important to do just a little PSA here folks about getting your question on the show Yeah, and this this question stuck out to me. Okay, I will read the body of the email and then I will read the subject line The body of the email reads title says it all Thanks, brothers wet and wild in Alberta. Okay, and then the subject line is how do I stay dry at the dentist?

Yeah, that's a good. That's it cuz you've now it's a mystery a puzzle box For us to twist and crack open. I would argue here Question asked her the title does not quite say at all. No, there's definitely a lot There's a lot left unsaid here. Yeah, maybe a little too much room for us to play I would say a little bit Too loosey-goosey here with how one might be getting a little wet and wild at the dentist Yeah, that's not great. That's not a place where Moisture of any kind is acceptable. No cuz you'd they you put it it goes up the tube that it sucks it out fast

Do you guys wish you have one of those just go in in your mouth all day? Yes? Yes, I'll never forget I was a child at the dentist and one of the the dental hygienist Cleaning my teeth said aloud. You are the spittiest kid. I've ever worked on And that is a thing that's really stuck with me over the years. Yeah, one spitty kid Yeah, and I think a comment like that off-handedly delivered by a professional is the kind of thing that shapes a young man Have you say Travis that's somebody who would know yeah, this is like a stranger Yeah, somebody who would know it's really stuck with me. My housemate and I have recently been getting wound into puzzles I'm sorry. What Justin?

One time I was at a weekend murder mystery uh-huh Ravenwood Castle and now extinct shadow stalkers Murder mystery crew and They do murder mysteries and there was one guy there who of his own volition He decided he would style himself as a puzzle master. Uh-huh, and he would Not through the organizers. No of the event. He was sort of like a rogue puzzle master God, I miss these fucking things. It was Mike. It was my my Bonnaroo So they made himself a rogue puzzle master and he would just stand up and announce I have more puzzles

And they were good. They were good. Were you there for that guy? Yeah, he was there the One I loved it Fucking the greatest. It's the greatest thing on the world turned out dude worked at the meat counter at Kroger Fantastic, and he gets this one weekend be a puzzle master Greatest and he took it. He sees that opportunity. Yes loved it Puzzles how he would say every time and it made me excited about positive sure I that was my favorite thing about going to those things Justin because the people sees in the opportunities like that person who With no affiliation to the organizers dresses the werewolf and scare people in the woods

There's just a werewolf and ran around the woods. Yeah, he just wanted to do that scare the shit out of me one time I was at the murder mystery shadow stalkers and someone stood up dressed as Johnny Depp pirate Yeah, Captain Jack Sparrow. Yeah, and his name is Dave I think and he stood up and I noticed that he'd been there at a few murder mysteries in that exact same costume and Then he stood up at the last day the murder mystery everybody has to stand up without their costumes on and say who they really are And he stood up and he was still dressed as Johnny Depp pirate and he said I have come to realize that Dave is the costume

Huh fuck yeah, yes Yep, go live your life reclaim Captain Jack Sparrow. You are Batman We are it's a reclamation project. We're taking him back. You can't have him Johnny We're taking that Captain Jack Sparrow anytime. We see weirdly photo realistic Johnny Depp at the end of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Walt Disney I do there is it part of me that recoils slightly lot any more you're taking it back now He's Dave's there was a point in history where people are like I hear Johnny Depp Sometimes sneaks on to and appears on it and it was said in a much different way than it would be said now

Johnny Depp sneaks onto the Pirates of the Caribbean Okay, so we put together a really rad thousand piece or of a bunch of colorful scoops of ice cream I took a lot of effort over the week or so now it's just chilling out taking up a good half of our coffee table How long do we keep it assembled before we undo all our hard work and throw it back in the box? Was the proper amount of time to bask in our accomplishments versus maybe wanting the surface area back? That's from Pittsburgh puzzlers. Okay, this is I totally understand this question because you have kind of like if If you don't do it right away, which is so disheartening which can really destroy your company then it's like how Long is enough to take it? Are you I?

have this feeling Are either of you the type of person that would like Shellac a puzzle you would fit a little puzzle glue by some puzzle glue no mount and like frame it because you're never a million Because the glue eventually will also wear off and the puzzle will erode I Would instantly take apart the putt you've wasted your time right making a puzzle as a waste of time But you've wasted the time in the way you choose and there's fucking power in right Yeah, I decided I'm gonna waste my time exactly like this

I'm gonna make a picture of ice cream no one likes and then when you're done with it You know what you do you spit the face mortality and say and now I'm going to take it apart because I can because I'm alive And I'm a human being and I'm gonna disassemble it there right back in the fucking box Just go ahead and burn my time and I'll spend how I want you should be allowed to fucking destroy There should be instructions on the box I put it together and once it's done look at it for one uninterrupted minute and then put it down the fucking garbage disposal, baby Yeah, throw it up in the air. Can you imagine the satisfaction of throwing the air and then just punching right through them? I love it. Oh my god. You've earned it better yet. Charge somebody to come do that

Because oh, that's true and then say like hey Do you want like have the feeling of honest to God like destroying five hours of my life? Here you go, but twenty five dollars, right? Twenty-five dollars and then you can use that on your next puzzle. This is what I'm saying Okay, now it's a gig economy and that's how we keep things going. You know what I mean your job's creator now I'm here from puzzler. There's no you or II It's just puzzler. Yeah, and I'm here to destroy your puzzle. I want to destroy something beautiful. Ah, yes, right this way Um, you can see here. We made it

Yeah, it didn't used to look like this. It used to be many smaller pieces of ice cream. Sure. Do you want me to? Do the lights any certain way or no? Thank you. I would like you to would you mind leaving the room you leave the room Oh, you don't want me to watch. No, no, no, no, I'm not one of those. No, no, no That's not really my thing. No shade, but like I really I Just want to take it apart piece by piece one by one. Oh, sorry just before you leave Are you ever gonna want to put this together or is it okay if I just eat a few or does that bother you? It's six or seven. I'm never gonna put it together. Yeah. Okay. Oh my god I can imagine reassembling the same puzzle. Oh

I can't remember what it looks like. Are you kidding me? It's right here on the box Bob Bob stop What are you doing? I can't do this with kids our age like the kid There if it's not a one-shot if it's not something to finish in one night, there's no point I could leave it in the highest cabinet. Yeah, the tallest shelf and they would sense it and destroy it Yeah, here's the thing that I learned I used to do puzzles a lot and then I realized I could just like print pictures off the internet if I wanted to look at ice cream. Yeah, and it was done way faster Yeah, or you think now I knit which is like putting together a puzzle that can keep you warm Yeah, you can't do that with a like a jigsaw puzzle you could try but people will laugh at you

Do they have jigsaw puzzles that turn that are useful at the end wouldn't that be cool? Oh, yeah I guess it's kind of Ikea. Is that it? Yeah, basically Ikea We're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna head into the money zone and then we'll tell you about some of our beautiful sponsors Then we'll be right back with more great content stay tuned after the break because we got a lot more coming up And we don't know a single second of it right here on my brother my brother and me. We'll be right back Sucks they go on your feet. Oh, where do your feet go? No one knows. Oh Now let's talk about Bombas. Okay. I'm this is dedicated to making the most comfortable socks in the history of feet

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Bombas comm slash my brother What happens? Oh no, did I go did you have another fugue state? What happened? Okay? I'm gonna do a funny one now No, you did great. You did great. What was so good Travis? We're so proud of you That's gonna be the first ad that we actually get paid for which is dope I did the ad already, but I was gonna talk about the toe jam and stuff Oh, man. Well, I'll try to bring a little bit of a reverent South Park humor here to Squarespace I feel about that. Okay, if you could fit toe jam in somewhere, but it would just mean the world to me Griffin Yeah, I'll do it in Peter Griffin's voice

Yeah, thank you. Hey Lois my brother my brother toe jam and me is sponsored in part by Squarespace Stand out with a beautiful website from Squarespace Yo, you're getting there and This is the baby one in Squarespace you can showcase your work and Sell products and services of all kinds and promote your physical and your online business and More do the dog do the dog. Ah beautiful customizable

beautiful whoof Customizable templates created by world-class designers Everything optimized. I'm smart. I'm the smartest one in the family Everything's optimized for mobile right out of the box analytics Analytics analytics can help you to grow in real time really the alien three runs at that one You won an American dad a little yeah American dad crossover episode. What okay? Never seen it Secure hosting that's the ghost. That's also an American dad. Yeah Yeah, I did a perfect perfect. I'm loving this and back to Peter Griffin and close it out and nothing old patch or upgrade ever

So Peter Griffin, but he's been stabbed Go to Squarespace.com slash my brother for free trial And when you're ready to launch use the offer code my brother to save 10% It off your first purchase of a website or a domain Now give me that say that with a beautiful website line one more time griffin, but it's Peter Griffin having an existential crisis What about Griffin McRoy having an existential crisis? Hi, I'm this and I'm Teresa and we're the hosts of one bad mother a podcast about Parenting parenting is hard and we have no advice, but we do see you doing it

Honk if you like to do it Didn't we have a bumper sticker a while back that was a honk if you did it. That's what I think it was honk if you're doing it Why did we not ever make them? We did make them. I think they're still in the max fun store Honk honk, you're doing it Thanks, miss. So are you each week will be here to remind you that you're doing a good job You can find us on maximum fun dot org honk honk Hey, can I do a yahoo? Yes, please. No

This is a squad It's time to munch. It's the munch. Well, it's the munch squad. It's the munch squad. It's the munch squad It is the munch squad the munch squad. It's the munch squad. Welcome to the munch squad finish the finish the bite Finish the bite. Hey, welcome to the munch squad. It's a podcast and a podcast profile and ladies and gentlemen brand-eating and it's not going anywhere No, baby is here to stay Pringles, uh, this is I'm gonna I want to start covering NFTs in more detail. Um, this is not about NFTs NFTs are They're like unique unique tokens that you could trade online like poach among cards, but they're bad for the planet

Because they use a lot of resources and Pringles launched an NFT along with Taco Bell Are they real? I I I've kept myself out of it. I'm actually not gonna do that. Okay. I'm not I'm actually not go listen to like planet money or something But the first response to Pringles launching their NFT is from someone just said the planet is dying Pringles It's Very legit. Oh, fuck. Yeah So this news in Pringles has plucked a new flavor From the far reaches of the gaming world answering question pondered by mini halo fans

What would a moa burger taste like? I don't know what that is. Okay, so griff you I've played halo You've played all the halos you co-founded a video gaming website covered video games for 10 15 years however long it's been You don't know you don't know what a moa is. This is the wildest pull I've ever seen for a video game crossover product. This is Pringles wavy moa burger now a moa is the big flightless bird like creatures with two legs wings Scales from the neck up in a lizard like head Similar to the extinct bird from new zealand of the same name

So just to double check what the lead on this story What have us believe is that one anybody remembers the name of that but two whilst playing the game and seeing said Large road with scales and whatnot their thought was wonder what that tastes like For those not fluent in the video game halos lore moa are like I said The bird is native to the halo planet called reach And is the signature dish of a restaurant chain in that uniform. What the fuck? Just give me a master chief burger. I'm an idiot. Give me a master chief burger with cortana sauce. I'm a fucking idiot The bird is native to the halo planet reach and the signature dish of a restaurant chain in that universe

So the gaming community is continually curious about what moa might taste like in burger form. Really? This is like the longest Fucking walk ever and what's wilder just call them halo chips Is there supposed to be a new halo game? And now there's not and the only thing that makes sense is that pengals had already made all the chips And they're like listen, we can't wait for them to finish the new halo game. The chips are done sale We have to make the even more insane play of just releasing these chips. I propose nothing For no reason

Through pringles exclusive partnership with halo The new moa burger flavor brings the food item from the halo universe to life With an interstellar twist on the much enjoyed sometimes ridden and often misunderstood moa bird This bird is based on a real bird that went extinct in new zealot and now you can eat it All right, so this is so awesome in a pringles. Thanks pringles If there is not a paragraph in here explaining why it doesn't just taste like burger I'm gonna lose it. I'll hit you with that. Listen. They did a baconator. They know what they're doing. They're experts No, but this is what i'm saying. It's like

Okay, go on go on Thank you. I'm just mad. Justin. I'm just mad halo verse has one of the greatest fan bases within the gaming world So we had to create a flavor that would deliver on a taste fans could previously only imagine The famous moa burger But isn't that what any taste in halo it right like I don't know what anything in halo tastes like Gareth maguire senior director of marketing for pringles. This is nothing. Yeah, but none of it's anything nothing Even us gamers on this podcast don't know what you're fucking talking about gareth I've wanted more about what it would be like to lick master chief's helmet

Yeah, the front of the eat that or the inside of it. Check this out Let me flip this into a successful business plan. Let me flip it. We have taken We have extracted the dna of the extinct moa bird and put it into a chip so that you can eat it to know what this Long dead animal tastes like That's awesome because that opens the door to pringles immortality like when I when I die don't roll me up and smoke me Turn me into a potato slurry mash Slice that baby up into delicious crisps extrude them and shot me down. Oh, I miss griffin. He died 500 years ago, but Taste him on the pringle. That's the technology

Um, in case you're curious they deliver a bowl crunch because they're wavy feature a blend of flavors including garlic sweet ginger And savory beef Each bite finishes with a craveable slight heat from chili pepper and red pepper That will take taste buds on a journey to new star system Gareth said we pride ourselves in creating insanely accurate flavor combinations This is a fun one to develop while moa burger has a flavor that appeals to everyone We expect this to be enjoyed and maybe even collected

By halo fans. Oh boy Got it Sometimes this segment guys sometimes this one goes down. They're only at wal-mart pringles tweeted about them on march 3rd And uh, I got some replies for you guys to the tweet. I got some replies I'm just going to read some of the replies to the tweet about the chips the new chips They're only at wal-mart and based on the spaceman bird. I'm having some but after eating too many it gets really hot What help please help me help me master chief them holding the chip as if maybe you were doubting it See, I feel like there's two types of people in this world people who play halo and people who shop at wal-mart

And there's not much overlap between the two I would Are you quite a few halo players shop at wal-mart? It's not even a judgment call Just stay with effect a lot of people shop at wal-mart and a lot of people play halo The chance that there's not much of an overlap is a small Right Are these in canada too? Unfortunately says pringles. Yeah, this limited time product is only available in the u.s

Ah, come on. I want to I wanted to try them out It tastes so awesome. Please let us keep them Then wal-mart says thanks vik. Glad you like it. That's not anyway. I'm wal-mart I'm 350 billion market cap wal-mart just responding to your tweet about the space chips With an un-unenthusiastic and non-committal answer. I might add thanks. No, but I said can I keep them? Okay, thanks, dude. All right. No, please. Please. I need this. Okay. Thank you pringles. You saved my life Please don't ever get rid of them. Wow This is pickle eye joe

says delicious Then pringle says there's a high probability your taste buds will enjoy reaching capital are Reaching new heights with moa burgers pringles sealant wal-mart pickle eye joe rioters burned down my wal-mart. Whoa What a turn and he can't get this no response from pringles Oh to that. Hey, yeah, just a quick note steve next time don't engage with pickle eye joe We we learned that a long time ago. This isn't our first time with pickle eye joe, but uh, I will Thumbs up and then pringle says you're about to witness the newest pringles flavor plucked from the far reaches of the halo verse

Run don't walk to your nearest wal-mart or we'll kill you Kids skull says already got some very yum and pringles response. Congratulations You are among the very few so far who have taken their taste buds to new galaxies by trying pringles moa burger Then kids call says. I glad you guys are still kicking around in 25 52 Oh, sir Um, it's just rye says are they at every store? I'm pretty sure we've established or just at wal-mart Jake says can I order them online? Nope? Available in poland. I don't know. Do you got wal-marts there? Where are you america?

I've been surprised by the answer with others. So i'll just ask are these vegan This they're not oh, they're not They got moa. They got moa flakes in them. They're wicked not vegan super not vegan. They got moa Has anyone has anyone tweeted I want moa of them? Oh, that's good trav. Thank you. I'm a professional comedy person. Yeah. Um, hey, can can I do that yahu now? Are there more incredible tweets about this? It's all the incredible tweets about that. Um, because i'm excited about this one several people have sent in thanks everybody It's yahu answers user jake who asks

In the category entertainment and music music rap and hip-hop Should we get rid of the calendars and dates and just go with the flow? That's so rad That yeah kicks Man, it's tough for me to even feign enthusiasm because I feel like How we wouldn't be recording right now. Oh my god griffin you're so uptight Wait, you're afraid of missing doctors appointments. Just go to the doctor when your body needs it, you know what I mean

Okay, this is oh, oh, what's that? You're late for brunch No, you'll get to brunch when it's time for you to have brunch and maybe your friend will be there And maybe they won't you know what I mean? Maybe I was late to my job interview derrick because I wasn't ready to be interviewed. Yeah, you know what I mean dad Yeah, I don't feel like going to college today dad You're just a rock in the middle of the flow while I am a leaf I'm a leaf. I'm traveling down the way the river and can I borrow 20 bucks? Give me $20. I just need it for pringles. Give me $20 now because I don't really do time

So I need that to not in a linear sense that you're sort of into so I need that right now I'm just saying what does it matter if you think it's monday and I think it's wednesday If you give me $20, you know what I mean? Like what's what's it really matter? If I cleaned my room when I'm really stoned, we're gonna have to restructure society I feel like to pull this off. No jobs. No school. Okay. No doctor's appointments. What's other things use? No birthdays. No trains, right? So like no birthdays. No holidays It's just there is now

There is now. Okay. Now you're talking to me. Yeah. Yeah. This is so good And that would be dope. That would be so rad for us because then like we could just like release episodes When it's when they are needing to be released when we have one in us to make it and not immediately after Doing a very very long the adventure zone recording like exactly. We would just feel it and fucking do it now That would be a fun way to explain to someone why you didn't like pay your bills Hey, I noticed you're late on this. Am I?

Or perhaps the bill did not need to be there. There would be no bills Oh, okay, right, right, right because when because we're all just going with the flow the people who make the electricity and bring it to Your house will come knock on your door and say it's time And then you'll give them whatever money that you have. Well, that's great They'll make the energy to give to me and I have I don't know grown some wheat or something So I'll give them that back to them energy. They brought it awesome like right and then you say You're going to want to cook that for one hour and then they'll say What's an hour because there's no time so cooking things is going to get pretty fucked up pretty fast

So only raw foods, which is good because that's what we should be doing. Anyway, uh, how raw though griffin Raw raw raw. What okay question Sunday morning is the day that I clean the house. Okay So, how will I know when house dirty house got dirt on how sturdy you clean it What if I have just you need to set an alarm for when to take a shit? Yeah um No, no you do and your body tells you to now you just gotta wait for your house to tell you to clean it

Like your house is your bowels in the cleanest who's shit and everybody's body Does have a point where they look around at their environment and just goes uh, and that's when that's when Yeah, that's when you take a shit. Yeah Well, no, do you set an alarm for when it's time to wake up? Um Yeah, I didn't know I actually don't do that because my stupid body won't let me sleep Ah, it's like your body knows better than oh mr. Clock over there, huh? So my body's going with the flow, but I haven't enjoyed that Oh, I kind of wish it would rated it

Hey, what if we went the opposite way and uh, nobody went with the flow and we just scheduled everything. There's no fucking flow Yeah, that's great I'm just saying like now like you do have a time when you're allowed to take a shit and if you miss it Too bad, you know what I mean bad for you now Now it is like an extra super duper preachy episode of star trek the next generation Where it's like they're about to kiss and somebody comes up and it's like no It is kissing time's over. It is not kissing time And then it's like but love

You can't put a time schedule on you can't make love If you guys kiss we're gonna kill Wesley. That's right. Wesley did a kiss during hug time So he's fucking dead now Because we and as soon as murder time rolls around he's out of here. He's done You're lucky. We only murder on fridays Ah, shit guys if we get rid of dates and calendars and just go with the flow How are we supposed to know when the purge is? Oh man? That's true You'll just you'll go up and hit someone in the head with a sled carer

Then someone's like not yet. Yeah, you go to jail. You're like fuck. That wasn't it But then you can just walk out of jail because there's no such thing as jail sentences Oh, yeah, that's right. How long do I have to be in here? Oh, uh, we hadn't thought of that. Yeah, I didn't So, bye Um So I was at work one day with another coworker. It was really slow. So we were talking about sharing stories Talking and sharing stories. She got a customer right after telling Me something super personal

She ended it with don't tell anyone. I told you that you're the only one in this whole state. I've told Problem is I zoned the fuck out when she was talking and I didn't hear anything that she said since then She brought it up again saying that thing I told you before What do I do? Oh boy. That's from awful coworker and Alaska and I think This is great. Oh, I think this is wonderful. Go on. Okay Okay, I'm going to tell you the person on the other end of this question She got to unload the thing that has been bothering her

You Have now that but that information is very sensitive You have now become Like a cryptocurrency cold wallet at this point. Okay That data Is fucking archived and locked down Beyond all measures on the blockchain of it's on the blockchain now You can't get the blockchain of your rudeness is what it's on and that's great. Yeah

Sometimes people I do have to say sometimes people do tell you things because they do they are looking for A source of commiseration But it is also like a heavy load sometimes And they're gonna be worried that you'll let it slip And they don't they don't have to because it can't slip it won't slip Yeah, it's not even technically there. It's not there. That's awesome Now if you did want to figure it out, is there a way to do that other than Hey, just so you know

I wasn't really listening to hearing that super sensitive thing that you've only told me dammit. Why didn't you fucking listen? Fuck you should listen. Hey Griffin. You sound like my brain 10 times a day. Yeah Really, you should have listened to their sometimes my brain does that when I'm meeting somebody and they're like hi I'm and my brain's like pay attention But the brain is so loud saying that that I don't actually hear the name Yeah, and you're looking I'm thinking like I'm listening so hard right now. Oh, shit. I'm doing such a good job listening. Oh, no Uh, yeah Sure

Okay, let me give you a script. So I've been thinking about what you told me, you know the thing Oh, yeah, the thing that I don't want you to tell anybody ever you've been carrying Yeah, exactly. You've been carrying around the burden that for so long And I read about an exercise in some of the leadership magazines that I subscribe to oh leadership weekly Uh monthly actually, it's not I don't think it's good So I doesn't say it's up to date with the ever-changing leadership techniques, but go on What you do is you write the thing down on a scrap of paper And then you fold it and then I'll go burn it for you

When you're not around okay And that way you'll be free of the burden I have really bad handwriting. Is that a problem? It's like it's like not even legible Can you put it on google drive as I'm worried about a secure thing Do you have like any kind of like a typewriter I can use do you how much do you know about the blockchain? Oh, I know quite a bit Shit, okay, um I'll have 10 cheesecakes, please. Oh, sorry. I have to go make 10 cheesecakes from scratch

Okay, well real quick. Just okay. Bye. I gotta go make you feel better if you said it in pig latin Sorry, let's take that again. And uh this time I won't I'll wait my turn to talk Okay, okay, maybe you feel better if you said it in pig latin. Okay, uh or with a cockney accent It won't sat nothing sounds quite as bad if you say you Okay Oh, I'm the one what what's that sir? Oh, sorry. Let me go help this customer real quick. I didn't say anything say it I think you did. I didn't say anything. I'm listening say it Are you sure? Yeah, this is badass. I never get any goss fucking hit me

Okay, uh, what I murdered db cooper and ate him. Wow, that's a weird pull Hey, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you have enjoyed yourself immensely We are so thankful that you decided to spend this time with us. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you If you can we are going to include a couple of links to Places that you can donate to support the asian american and pacific islander community who has been the subject of Mounting racial violence over the last couple of years particularly sort of coming to a head Uh during the shootings in Atlanta last week, which we are as everybody is I'm sure

Completely horrified by there's a go fund me has put together a list of funds that are Going to go directly to the families of the victims We also included a link to the asian american and pacific islander civic engagement fund Which is seeking to empower the aapi community and also Fight for Intersectional justice on a sort of broader scale Again, those those links are in the description. Please consider donating and and do what you can to support your local aapi community

It's a it's a scary time right now and and you know, whatever you can do to help Helps We also want to tell you we got some new merch over at the merch store this month. We got a pen of the month It's sausage to me benefiting feeding texas. We've got the empty bowl pen designed by samuel reardon We've got the 20 big dog run pen designed by mel westfall And don't forget to pre-order the adventure zone crystal kingdom the newest graphic novel in the graphic novel series It's available pre-order now Just go to the adventure zone comic dot com

And then wait patiently by the door until july 13th when it will actually be delivered to you Hey, thanks to montane for the use for a theme song. My life is better with you It's so good. Go listen all montane's music get psyched for eurovision She's gonna slam dunk it and because that's from what I understand Every other country from what I understand. There is a basketball component this year to eurovision, which is long overdue You want a final yahoo? Absolutely. Here's a final yahoo sent in by graham robach. Thanks graham. It's a an anonymous yahoo answers user who i'm gonna call um

gravy asks What a lot of people watch a remake of friends, but the main characters are all goth Oh Yes, please My name is jester mackroy. I'm goth chandler. Could I be? How are you doing? Could I could I be more? Fuck just in just say it So our brother my brother because your dad's pearl lips Oh

It's better it's better with you My life It's better it's better with you This is true It's better it's better with you Oh or comedy and culture. Artist owned, audience supported.