My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 558: The Star of the Sandwich Show

Episode Date: May 3, 2021

You know we’ve gotten into the big league when we get questions from Huntington’s own legend Tim Irr, who has famously been gifted so many handkerchiefs he’s running out of places to keep them.Suggested talking points: Big Fruit, Billy Murray money, BLT Lobbyists, Gut Chunnel, Crank GreenConsider becoming a supporter of our show: www.maximumfun.org/join/Support AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hateFor resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/SFX in this episode: "Music Elevator" by Jay_You: https://soundcloud.com/stonefree

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother me an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy, let me check the latest data from the five the polls the Nate silvers Yes, I'm Travis big dog who was who if Macaroy almost forgot to say a dog thing. I'd you hear it. Yeah, he was talking about like Nate silver And then he was like, oh shit, but I'd have to oh Nate Silver's the name of my dog All right, and I'm Griffin McElroy. Give me $10. Whoa

Look who's good enough to podcast when the time to collect the bill comes do yeah Yeah, the the little red hen. Yeah comes poking back around The moral of the little red hen Justin the little red hen who's too good. I always get that one confused It is a grasshopper. Yeah, you know what I mean the that saves all the seeds. No, no, no the grasshopper No, the grasshopper does a bad job Okay, who's the who's the kick-ass one? I think we can all What I think we can all agree on is that Griffin is the bad brother and this is the other thing is that gas drops for my Fucking fart balloon of a son aren't cheap. So give me 10. Give me $10. Listener. I'm coming at you with a different tone this year

I'm working on about two hours of sleep right now. Give me 10. Give me 10 fucking dollars. Please please give me $10 Not Justin not Travis not max fun drive. This is not max fun drive related. Give me $10 Griffin needs that $10. I'll take $5 from two of you. I need $10 This is the max fun drive and it's time to Stop stealing content and that is that this is At the beginning of this episode if you're listening to this without donating to the max fun drives then you're Crying it's a real crime. I wouldn't steal a dog Then why would you steal it?

podcast Maximum fun org forward slash join is the site that you can go to to finally Make it real make it right make it right make it tight. I was all I have a new thing Okay, make it real make it right make it forever. Oh That's good. This is a lifelong commitment that we're making to ourselves And you have locked us into creating the show forever will water lock and you in yeah For five bucks a month you will receive not only the joy of supporting the shows you love this one But also you'll get so much bonus content that you will actually perish

Yeah, the the sun will burn out before you have exhausted all this content Yeah, man, you know what we should treat max fun drives more like youth church lock-ins Where it's like we're not leaving here until we feel the spirit move tonight There's ten people in here who I know who I know are ready to make that commitment Yeah, ready to pledge their lives to my brother my brother and me That's definitely not a weird vibe that people have accused us of leveraging for financial gain Listen, we're gonna do show but the thing is this there's never been a better time To support the shows that you love and if you can do it obviously

There's a lot of joking around here if you can't do it I get it, but if you can get five bucks a month at ten bucks a month you get all that All the bonus content plus a magnet We need you this is how we pay our bills and you heard about Griffin's son. He's got gas who has the worst Gas this child breathes and when we breathe air goes Hmm time to go to lungs so we can oxygenate the blood and keep the body pumping And when this little guy breathes it's like to tummy town We go to make more farts and burps to hurt the son to hurt the baby and keep him from the sleep

But I'm not talking about that today today I'm talking about max fun driving what your support means to me as a man if you donate five hundred dollars a month You can name Griffin's son. That's true. You do get the naming rights to that. I'm huge and you know You know what I'm talking about right now read on me piss boys. Oh, man We were just starting to get into a good mood. Come on Okay, now here's what I like about though. There's many things that I like about this riddle Can't talk about riddle.com for a second. Yeah quick cuz we did are they shutting the fuck down, too Our max fun drive bonus episode is us all mixing up the bits. We're all doing each other's bits

That's what you're all big factory mix-up. It's fun. And I did riddles calm Here's a few and a lot of people been like riddles calm is so dope. Here's what you don't know about riddles calm There is not a button on there. That's like sort by bad. Yeah, right? There's not a button on there It's like trash rills only. Thank you. I have a comedy podcast You have to read through a lot of fucking brain teasers. Yeah Get to the actual whatever the to get to the chaff to get the wheat out of there and find the chaff You really have to go digging so I have This was not user submitted. This was me. I did this I put the work in so that I could do the deliverables for my brothers

And it begins the sleep Once upon a time as all good riddles began once upon a time John was walking in the woods to go fishing for some food but got lost But he got across an old house and asked the owner the owner invited John and they began to tell a story The old man said once upon a time Two best friends now you might be wondering at this point the riddle No, those two once upon a time are completely unrelated Once upon a time two best friends were on a deserted island

There was no food so they began to die of hunger. They agreed to fight until one of them died The winner would eat the loser and thus be saved besides no one would ever know about that They began to fight and finally one of the best friends won Meaning that the other one was eaten and betrayed then John pulled out a gun and killed the old man at once Why would he do it to eat him? for power To eat him for power if it's any other answer then I feel like my time's been wasted Justin I

Said you get a magnet at $10 a month and it's it's not that it's an enamel pen and I'm really sorry about that That's my riddle and I just solved it. Okay. Oh Pretty good start for our literal first pledge break. I Just want to mention that I Pretty bad. Just like an immediate mess up Now here's what I want to talk about in this riddle because the answer is the old man was the cannibal and I feel like in this riddle John our hero makes a big old leap because the old man began by saying once upon a time and

told what seems to be a Made-up story about two friends on an island one easy other and then John leaves to the conclusion that even though the story began Once upon a time clearly this old man was talk about himself and he needed to be shot Yeah, wait. Yeah, that's a good point. Trav. Yeah, I think you really undermine this role I'm starting to think these riddles aren't very good. It's my worry I'm worried about it because it's like I'm it's hard not to look at all the other bits now that yahoo answers is Yeah Falling into the grave right now. It's I travel be honest with you

Sometimes I worry that the riddles on riddles calm aren't great Well, I hate to disagree with you Griffin because there is a voting mechanic on riddles.com. Oh, okay, and this one has 45 thumbs up and 47 thumbs down so it seems almost pretty evenly split. It's pretty it's almost nothing It's almost a nothing riddle, but there are folks who can't decide like oh is this John Shooting an old man for telling a story pretty good pretty good riddle nice stumped me Hey, Margaret, you gotta hear this one. I didn't see it coming and then I guess I suppose in this story John eats him Yeah, yeah

Ah Good times Let's ask let's answer a question. I feel like it's been so long first question from Tim here. Yes, it is Justin Are you kidding me what a treat for me? Oh boy? Howdy? Tim here Probably the best local newsman. Oh, yeah, if I had to say The broadcast Dave lavender takes tops like local newsman period right like Tim here if you're going broadcast Tim ears man here. You know what I one thing I'll say about him here

Oh, please is he's Tim here? I read interview with him where they asked him what his greatest fear was I don't know. I've talked about this before but it's worth your visiting Asked what's great as fear was you know, he said what nothing? Yeah No fear Tim here. Let's see what's on his agenda today Checking with no fear Tim here who loves hot sauce another thing about ten not afraid of the heat Not afraid of the heat not not afraid of anything Whenever I walk outside on a windy day, and you know, he's always out there walking that beat looking for scoops Narrowcasting happening right now is is it's basically just Tim here

It's I don't think the version of Tim here that I'm describing would even be recognizable to to some of his other WSAZ colleagues so have I Because I reference Bill Murray that full left in 2013 yeah to go to Kentucky where all of our most hollowed news people go It's the elephant graveyard of running to news people Man, I'm just realizing that Rob Johnson's gonna listen to this and get all pissed off Yeah, well the hill you need to send in a question. Rob. Step it the fuck up Rob. Come on Rob Let's get it going Tim ears on the show now. Yeah now that y'all who answers is dead We're gonna start a segment on my brother my brother me where we just talked about Huntington news anchors for an hour

There's another fact about Tim here. He looks just like Woody from toy store Oh, so much so that he used to wear a woody costume I don't remember if it was on the air All right doesn't tweet a lot These are just some Tim facts Some Tim facts and Tim bits But you know get in actually you know what now I'm looking through his history. It's it's more than I thought His most recent tweet is RIP Greg Jacobs aka Humpty Hum

So he's he's he's got his thumb on the pulse. Of course. He does. He's Tim here. I would love so here's a tip quite You're wondering the question. Yeah, I can tell already But I clicked away from the page to look for more Tim ear nugs Now I gotta go all the way back to the question Tim bits fuck Obviously Tim bits Whenever I walk outside on a windy day I Tim ear Walk outside on a windy day particularly in the pollen filled days of spring and summer my eyes water Other people walk by obviously think I'm crying one older woman who was clearly moved by what she perceived as an emotionally distraught

Pastor by actually went so far as to reduce a handkerchief from her purse and wipe my tears I'm given I've given serious consideration wearing a sign around my neck or perhaps a t-shirt with the emblazoned message I'm not crying and that's from Tim. I'm not crying ear It's at Tim. I know he's not afraid of emotion. Yeah No, no, no, no, no, he's Tim. He's the only thing the only thing Tim is afraid of is lying to the people Yeah, I've seen him I've seen him talk about stuff on the news and he'll be like and the high ten Highlanders came back to it fucking by touchdown

Nailed it. Yeah, we got a Marshall thundering herd made quite a comeback It's a lot about football Weird for a non-sports They let him, you know, a lot of you don't know this, but if you're the anchor and you really care about one a lot They'll let you do it instead. It's nice cuz they don't make him do any of the sad sports stuff Right, or the or even the happy ones just the emotionally moving ones. Yeah, but he can be like yes There was a big ritual cult murder that happened in the park, whatever whatever, but did you hear about these honey-tongued Highlanders and their volleyball team? I wonder if Tim realizes that

Old women giving you handkerchiefs because you appear to be crying is not something that happens to us that are not TV news anchors Yeah, that are not specifically Huntington's own Tamir. Oh, yeah, that's a fair point Tim is like whenever I walk down the street eight people hand me bagels and wish me a happy day Pretty sure I could be walking down the street openly saloping not just like I and I think older women would think Oh, he's probably on bath salts or something along those lines. That would probably be the vibe. I specifically I will say this though. I will say this to Lynn Credence to Tim's issue If I see Tim here local news anchor Tim here

Wandering the street sobbing to himself in my head. I'm like what the fuck oh no on in Huntington Some something really what does he know that is there an asteroid headed for the river? Yeah? Yeah, man with no fear Is is crying we're all doomed honey honey green lantern is crying. What's happening? I? Used to have this concern When we used to go to church as kids and I would yawn so hard that my eyes would water And I wasn't worried about people seeing me yawning I was worried that he might think I was so moved by the sermon that I was crying and they would think Did Travis do some bad shit? Did Travis about to recommit his life to the Lord for a third time? I

Didn't do it a second time because I liked the attention right well in the first one you were clearly Faking it. Yeah, the first one didn't take obviously. Yeah, you know what Tim? Here's what I would suggest just let this if this happens to you again Just let people feel like they did you a solid. Yeah, you've done so much on you let them feel like all that was a nice thing I did I did I did a good term for Timmy or I hope you appreciate it And then when you do the newscast later that day have their handkerchief hanging out of your sleeve To show that you enjoy their favor that you are now doing the news for them that night, right? Like a jowster Who has handkerchiefs old ladies? Yeah, and now Tim here. Yep, and now Tim here has her

I heard that in his office. He nails up the handkerchiefs one by one as they're given to him much much like Willie Maze Hayes does in The hit baseball movies. Yeah, major league. Yeah, I hear he makes a necklace out of it. Really. Yeah I heard he pulls them out of his sleeve one by one like a clown. They're all tied together Yeah, and in the end his underpants. That's funny and sexy funny and sexy Rob Johnson the the floor is yours. The there's I I can continue to read yahoo For another like six days. I mean, I guess I guess there's no reason to not right Let me say this Graham Roba sent in a lot of good things and a very sweet message Well, thank you. Thank you Graham Robuck for your for your service. This one's asked by yahoo answers user William who asks

Why is there no big fruit? Why is all why is all fruit small enough to hold with your hand? I know we have berries and apples, but I think watermelons are the biggest fruit I know of and you can just hold it with two hands or one if you're strong. Why is there no big fruit now? Listen, there's gonna be some science folk out there like your Hank greens your Hank's green We're gonna tick tock right now. Aren't we you search biggest fruit? I shit you not I shit you not Searched biggest fruit first image Hank green superimposed in front of a picture of a water What are you doing that dude? How could yesterday be be asked me?

How's lightning work and I pulled up a video and I was like, okay I don't see any of Hank green stank on this any of stank green on this and then fucking right there at the end of the Video executive producer Hank green Like we're in a tick tock of his right now, and he's just like He's probably using this audio and being like glasses So Hank green is gonna tell you that the problem is is that the fruit gets too big it falls off trees Well, Hank green counterpoint. Why don't we have bigger trees then? Yeah. Yeah, Hank stronger trees

Give me some virile trees trees where the branches been down all the way down to the ground So the fruit can just sit on the ground and hang out and then when the fruit falls up the branches whip way up high in The air and gives a bird a scare. Yeah, hey crank green. That's good What about pumpkins? Yep. Hey, hey Hank Did you forget about yeah, yeah roast them when you gave us this answer that we imagined a few seconds ago Remember when you Hank green said that yeah or Travis attributed that to you and what about the fucking ground hank? So I guess it's not a good ground hank. It's not about trees. Is it hank? Hey teens following this guy. This is this is I've revealed the curtain and you could see the wizard behind it

It's just a it's just Hank green lying to you about fruit. He's guessing about fruit He's guessing about food. He forgot about He forgot how fucking pumpkin so embarrassed for him in that imaginary Responsive Travis attributed to him. So that I mean, that's the thing is like there's some fruits is big like pumpkins pumpkins It's big huge. You kidding me. What about durians? I've never seen one in real. I mean jack jack fruits a big boy jack Listen, but durian stinky not big. Yes. Thank you for it. There's but there's a cap on it, huh? And the cap is pumpkin that we know but here's the thing I've seen some fucking big pumpkins not in person mind you but in pictures. No, I know maybe they're photoshopped

I don't know but like there's a variability in the size of pumpkin. You never been at Travis. You seriously never been to the You never been to the pumpkin festival. No, I went but I specifically didn't look at the big pumpkin because I was afraid I was afraid. Yeah, he get trapped inside of it. It's a just completely legitimate fear But I didn't get having it could spontaneously like roll on to me. You know, right? And he would yeah, you die I think that the question we're really asking here is why is most fruits so smalls. Yeah Cuz birds is small Birds so wait what cuz birds is all the birds got to eat the fruit and then poop out the seed fruit Birds only fruit bursey worms some birds do fruit birds eat worms and birds eat crackers. That's true. Fuck

That's a good point. What about lemurs Griffin? Yeah lemurs do love it lemurs are like the birds of monkeys. Have you think about it? How do bananas know how big to be I guess is they look at the other bananas around? Yeah, it's all Comparing and that's what's so harmful as they see a lot of pictures and magazines of Bananas that look a certain way. Yeah, and they think that that's gotta be now I wish my last name was green cuz sometimes I ask questions like that and I want sort of an erudite Discussion about it and but you wish we hadn't gone so hard on but then Travis says stuff like The banana looks with its banana eyes at the other bananas and feels banana peer pressure to look like the other bananas No, I hold on I didn't say the banana peer pressure thing. That was Justin

I said they look around and that lets them know how big regardless like neither of you came at me with that That good heat that like I know I just happen to know. Oh, that's funny. You asked that I happen No, you guys have never ever once said to me. Oh, it's funny. You asked that Griffin. I know exactly Ask about something. I know you always ask shit. I don't know Ask me something. I know right now right now ask me something. You know, I know is it bad that I can't think of anything Wow Wow, pretty bad. There's things. There's wait. Hold on Griffin. You know me, right? Yeah, but like I don't know what you know Huh, I cuz I feel like you sort of float through life. Yeah on a little cloud Yeah, and it's like the thing in Mario Brothers. Travis. What's the big what when you start?

Blacksmithing what's some of the early stuff that you'll learn? What are some of the first skills? Oh, thank you so much, Justin You will learn you should say Travis. No, that's a stretch. No, I just Travis just to take that again It's it's funny. It's funny. You asked that it's funny. You asked that hey teens. It's me Travis McRoy your favorite brother Where's the blacksmithing, huh? That reminds me Got a taper you don't even it's the energy is so off I'm trying to match Hank Green's energy. He doesn't go It's oh, you want to know about the biggest fruit

Well, okay to be fair in that specific video John Green is choking him out that does happen a lot I'll say this about those two. I wish they didn't fight as much like physically fight. Yeah Like Green will be doing a video about like, you know, I don't know like why tornadoes happen and suddenly John Green will just karate Like fucking spear him into his computer and break it. I saw John Green speed bag Hank Green's butt once Yeah, but like, you know what? fucking glass houses Yeah, we speak back. We speak back to each other's butts on camera before. Oh, yeah all this time because we're brother We're brassical boys. Yeah, and boys punch butts boys brassical boys punch. He's other butts. Yeah, look those little rascals love punching butts

Just want to slide in here real quick. Sorry past us for interrupting, but we do want to take a second. I'm not sorry Talk to you about the maximum fun drive We do it once a year just for this little bit of time and this is the time of The year where you get to stand up and say hey, I like this That's what joining the maximum fun network really is it's a way of Planning your flag of casting your vote how whatever metaphor you want to use but saying like hey I want this to keep happening. You can play just five bucks a month and

Or more 10 20 whatever you could spare Whatever the show means to you. I don't know what it means to you, but if it means Something to you. We really could use the support a maximum fund org Forge slash join vast majority of your donation goes to the shows that you listen to and a portion of it goes to maximum fun to you know pay for organizing the network and doing stuff like this and Lining up advertisers and and and all kinds of great stuff the maximum fun

does so we treasure every buck we can get and we really do put it to good use and Not only that you get rewarded for that support and not just like that warm fuzzy feeling and getting on heart though That is pretty great. I love a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart Unless it means I'm having a heart attack at which point now I am concerned But for the $5 support level, you're going to get access to over 200 hours of bonus content Including like every past max fund drive bonus every leg max fund day bonus everything There's so much there including new content for this year and I loved the episodes record

We did like a bit switch around a segment switch round There's stuff from saw bones and wonderful and shmanners and adventure zone everything now for $10 You're going to get your choice of an enamel pen There's I think 38 show specific pens to choose from and the bonus content for $20 You get the enamel pen you get the bonus content and there's this really really cute tea kit to give you a little tea break in there There's all kinds of stuff folks and I want you to check it out All right, because you're great and you deserve the support Well, you deserve the reward you get what I'm saying

And it helps us out. It helps you out. It keeps our show going And we really appreciate it and you know, we also know that not everybody's able to support and that's fine too You can still do your part by sharing that link maximum fun or join Telling people about the fact that max fun drive is going on why the shows matter to you all that stuff So please if you can maximum fun or furts last join and with that said let's get back to the show Speaking of max fun drive, perhaps we should reach for the stars Wow, so you're doing a lot of hits to that. Well, I just wanted to make it feel special It's our first max fun drive episode and I wanted to bring the I wanted to bring the two of my bits that people seem to like

Please okay, what's that Travis? No, I didn't I wasn't going to editorialize in any way I just want to hear the this segment. Okay, so I will read some reviews left With with a certain amount of stars. These are all four and five star comments. Oh, well on on a product on Amazon, I will read you those comments and you guys are going to try to guess what that product is first comment Wow, it works did a good job cleaning out the gunk and earwax Is it one of those earwax cleaners outters? Like one of the things it's got a little camera on it I see him I got Facebook ads all the time where it's like hey you dirty fuck get check out this big nasty glob

You can pull out of your human head man Facebook has you pegged, huh? Yeah, it does it knows I remember you coming a mile away. All right, just a guess No, okay Second comment wait was that not the answer. No, that was not the answer Griffin No, that was it. Do you think that I would be like guess the product? Anyways, it's the thing that cleans out your no Come on. Yeah, okay The best thing they've cleaned out ears is caps of big pins, but I'm assuming it's not big pins That is visceral what you just said

My wife's a doctor. I can't be wrong. Okay used today on a two-mile swim Works great and forms to my ears keeps water out and dries to use multiple times kids Don't try this at home only adults can stick things in their ears. Is it a wax product? Is it wax some sort of ear? Wax that you use to protect from swimmers here incorrect I'm starting to think that people are not using this Object this is like an off off label usage. Yeah, it's like floam or some shit Okay, or you know how you can smoke floam. Yeah Incredibly high and then you run down the street sobbing

Okay, I burst my eardrum back in March and my E&T recommended this of all things to use as an earplug Because it uses stickiness to stay in as opposed to having to be shoved down to the ear canal This was a great bang for my book Oh my god, is it like silly buddy? It is silly buddy, Justin God almighty so floam wasn't even that far alive Holy shit, really was silly putty pack of six Justin This is a weird reach for the stars were actually come out a little smarter. Yeah, then I went in because this is a whole World that I did not understand. I don't know about I mean, I guess it makes sense, right silly putty wasn't it invented

To be silly putty, you know what I mean? So why wouldn't it be? Uh Why wouldn't it be an ear an earplug thing now? So just just a guy trying to make fake rubber made silly buddy You also made great earplug here There are four more quick comments here that I just I had one first one received on time and they are a crowd pleaser and That makes me think that perhaps for future live shows Yeah, jokes fucking hand out some silly putty

It makes me think that the crowd you hang out with sucks These three comments these were reviews left by three different people and I at three different times I cannot stress this enough. I'm going to read all three of them. It really is silly putty It's putty. It's silly. Yeah, silly putty. It is right there That last one's a silly putty it is Travis you should have said right us one of those ones because it may be easier to yeah, but I thought that might give it away Yeah, was that the only one yep. Oh wow, okay. I like that Travis. That was your best reach for the stars yet I would say yeah, got it

Well, you don't have to send Hey everybody, we don't I wouldn't normally highlight this but Halfway through the episode we had to take a break and then pick it back up The next day and now I'm having my coffee and the sun is shining and I'm wondering and I I want us to really think about it Did we go too hard on hand green? I Yeah, yeah in the light of day. I feel like I think I called him Think I called him spank green. There was different crank green was in there stank green green is libelous And I feel too fucking like he's he's been nothing but very kind to us

Just like he's always been so nice to us and like we've worked with him on stuff a lot Yeah, yeah, I'm like I've texted him as a human being. No, yeah, he's a pal a lot He's a good friend. Good. Is a good person and I don't know why I called him Yeah, we were really hard spank green Should we say up should we I think you know what I think part of this is cuz he had YouTube and he took tiktok Yeah, I think that if I'm being honest about it now in the harsh light of day He did have YouTube already then he took tiktok and it doesn't seem right He did try to come he and John tried to come for brother podcasts, which yeah, they feel a little you know what now

I'm actually coming back around the other side. Yeah, yeah Yeah, he and his wife then also tried to do like married couple like podcast also kind of our thing Just like crank that is a real crank move real crank move. Yeah real crank move crank, okay? I'm back around. I'm back around. All right. Good. Well, I'm glad we put left him right in this place What do you want another question? Yeah, my morning brain is ready for a question Yeah, this is a new day like we're now imbued with the knowledge of what happened yesterday and spoiler alert is pretty similar to the 300 plus days before it all becomes a blurb did have some new releases of the circle I gotta go. Hey, can we take another break and come back then in like an hour so I guess I'll go to question 3d j-man

Computer computer execute question 3. I don't normally work that way where it's sort of like you call the shots and I I know But it's a new day. It's a new day. Okay. My roommate works at Harris teeter. Oh, man I love a Harris tea. Oh, yeah, I do not know what this fucking name is You got to get down to the beach with this man Harris teeter down there. Oh, they got everything. Oh Boy, I love a Harris teeter. Okay. My roommate works at Harris teeter and about a month Man, I hope he resty every time I express affection for something. I'm so ready for somebody to be like actually They put pigeons in the furnace every morning to start the electricity About a month ago. Okay, so my roommate works at Harris teeter about a month ago

Who shows up at 8 a.m. Shift, but Bill Murray himself I'm guessing they mean of stage and screen and not Huntington's own Bill Murray We didn't talk about other Bill Murray now Kentucky right Kentucky This is Hollywood's bill. Yeah, the other as he's known the other Bill Murray the Garfield Struck up a casual conversation with her and asked if she went to a school nearby After confirming that yes, she does and she lives on campus

He asked if she had a car to drive to work Unfortunately, we're college students who spend the majority of our income on to Tina's pizza rolls to him And so she always walks as he finishes re-emburg groceries He pulls out his wallet and hands my roommate a $50 bill. He tells her to put it towards a bike fund She did not buy a bike Instead a week later we use Bill Murray's harder money to buy a kitten. He was on sale in her defense. He does not have a tail What you're trying to see the prosecution rests What should my roommate do if Phil Murray comes back and ask about the bike?

So sorry if you hear this bill now. This is interesting, isn't it cuz here's the sequence Bill Murray said hello. Do you have a car and I'm hoping not that direct Yeah, cuz that does feel like a setup for something. Hello. Do you have a car and the person said no I take a bike and you're sorry the person said no I walk and Bill Murray said here's $50 buy a bike It's like well, why don't I is I'm certain fun anyway? Yeah Inspirational why not go and put this towards, you know a car fun or maybe perhaps even a Vespa fun Well, I think Bill wants to feel like he's made a significant contribution to your transit Fund right and $50 towards car is not as impressive as $50 towards bike

Yeah, to scale that back. Let's see how much is the car? He's gonna get a used car for like $5,000, right? So 50 you can get a fucking height used car for $5,000. That's what I mean I'll rely on craigslist you pride to find one for free figure willing to get in the carburetor I'll make it elbow deep. Hey, let's hey what Bill Murray should have said was here's $50 buy yourself a really nice bottle of wine Oh, doesn't that seem more charitable now doesn't that seem nicer? Yeah, but that's the way you both the way you said it I'm buying someone wine is a little a little creepy a bike. Oh, yeah But he's Bill Murray defy he defies that like and and defines that and defines that it's enough of a cultural legacy Hey kid buy yourself a bike though feels like a cool move

Hey, man, give yourself a bike, but actually I guess what he was doing was hey, here's like 10% of a bike $50 I love $50 50 dollars Who's highlighted before that? That's that's that's a good belay video. That's awesome Well, it's I mean, it's up to 70 now in this fucking generation Like cash bandy cute. Yeah We're like You motherfucker got it like ratchet and crank Green

$50 I love it. I love it. I love it But if Bill Murray gave you $50 isn't there a part of you that's like I don't want to I want to frame this frame This is my bill Murray $50. Well, that's the thing right is a part of a bike That's fine, but Bill Murray paid for this cat. That's way better. Very good. And I hey also Excuse me question ask her how in the fuck are you gonna tell us you got a cat and not tell us what the name of it is? Yeah, because if it doesn't relate to Bill Murray in some way ill hurry bill hurry bill hurry bill hurry Sorry, sorry, sorry, sir. Sorry bill hurry. Can I just actually did you have a little lag Justin cuz I did say it first I I literally I'm sitting here

I do not know which one of you said it first because of internet latency But I also want to say that there's probably a whole Garfield vector that Just completely did not want to explore and this is also one of those moments where I feel like I just want to rattle off Anyone I could think of so nobody tweets later like I can't believe you guys didn't say like Bill Puri Bill I mean Like so it's pre-determined It's that good, you know, it's a dope name for this cat that Bill Murray paid for is you call him Lorenzo music's Garfield Lorenzo music is one of the great names. Yeah, it's really powerful

Hold on wait, I had a follow-up. Why do cats go on when do cats go on sale? I guess if it is When they lose their tail and they're 10% off. I guess so is that what happened? No, I mean if you take 10 if you if a cat loses its tail that cat is 10% off That's what I'm saying So it doesn't make sense that you would have a value a value deal. Hmm. Hey, did you know that Carla music from Bon Appetit? Is Lorenzo music's daughter-in-law? Crazy, huh? Thanks Wikipedia Now Griffin did you hop on Wikipedia real quick to see if Lorenzo music was incredibly problematic

No, I just wanted to see some cool pictures of Lorenzo music Okay, and I didn't I achieved my goal and I want to do you guys confuse Lorenzo music with Lorenzo Lomas Probably never. It's probably okay. Cool. Cool. Cool Hey, it's us again your old buddies your old begging buddies. Oh boy Justin Travis come to you hat in hand saying hey Are you enjoying this? Is this good? Do you like? No, Griffin's too proud. Griffin's too proud and too busy caring for an infant. That's another thing false You know these babies don't feed themselves

Not yeah, eventually when they get older they will they will but they need you to spring into action To buy all the different baby. It's been too long since I've had a baby, you know babies Hey, no, but for real listen jokes leave the room get out of your jokes Get out of your jokes over the years Your support has a lot of to do things like focus more on merch Right if you've noticed that we've had more and more merch because we were able to like work with designers and spend more time focused on that If you've noticed like the shows have been sounding a little bit better

Maybe a lot of it better. We've been able to hire an editor because of your support There's just things throughout where we've been able to kind of make the shows a better Make them more of a focus for us Make sure we don't miss episodes when when we can all of that stuff to her when we were able to all of those things are Because of the support you've shown us over the years. There is a direct Improvement just listen well don't listen to the first hundred episodes, but the audio quality from no But the audio quality from then to now is because your support has allowed us to get better and better equipment And it's just all of those things, you know, the world can be tough sometimes and sometimes you wake up and you think I don't want to

Be funny today. I don't want to be creative today But then we know you're all out there depending on us to make these shows you're supporting us and we're doing it You know, we're making these shows for you because you matter to us just like we hope we matter to you Well, that's beautiful Travis and that's a beautiful sentiment. Also, you're gonna get gifts. Yeah, that's it You know five bucks a month you get 200 hours of bonus content wild stuff wild stuff We did a mix-up bit thing where we all did each other. It's why there's video stuff in there, too It's all over the video stuff in there There's you know, if you can do $10 a month you get and all that bonus content plus an enamel pen so cool

Pitch any show you want any mass fun show you want whatever they don't care I'll make a pin out of anything these days take a minute T kit that's a $20 month of diamond friendship circle and That's a great way to relax unwind get a little bit of tea and a pin and the bonus content I know that it's not like you're not buying these things. Remember, this is just our way of saying thank you because what you're really getting is The satisfaction knowing you're supporting stuff you like and putting good stuff. I think good stuff Out in the world. So thank you so much maximum fund out or for its last join if you've never joined before and you're able to do it now We really would appreciate it and and I don't like doing this

I kind of do okay. Well, yeah, just gives you a moment to talk to the people directly I do want to say just like two more things one if you're already Supporting max fun. Maybe this is here. You consider increasing that support. Maybe you've listened to more shows Maybe you found that our shows are holding a more important place in your heart and you want to reflect that in your support You can do that too You can upgrade your support level or if you want to give a little bit more But you're not ready to move up to the next level yet We totally get that too you can do that as well at maximum fun dot org slash join

But the last thing I want to say is if you think this sounds great if you want to do it do it now It's so easy to think about it and then like 20 minutes from now It's completely out of your head and then pretty soon the drive is over and you missed your chance to get these rewards, right? So if you're thinking about it right now maximum fun dot org slash join Justin, did you have a transition? Oh I want a munch squad

I want to Welcome to munch squad. It's a podcast and a podcast bro filing the latest and greatest in brand-eating So for a second there like you said bro filing it did sound like that and I like oh, that's good actually let's use that all right Oh, that'll be that'll be the name of our procedural like show like they're the bro filers Three brothers that can kind of figure out why someone would do something. I almost feel Griffin Did you listen last episode? Did I listen a lot? No, I didn't I haven't listened to it yet So like you just completely missed the fact the noise back The noise is

What since is the no, I'm well great. I'm glad Jean was there for this moment because Jean is Important person to me and a wonderful person I am also heartbroken that you were not there for the news story that the fucking just the noise I can't sum it up real quick So Griffin. Yeah, there's a new Computer car that delivers pizza and the noise back. He's fine and the noise is fighting the robot car that delivers pizza Yeah, the noise is fighting robot pizza delivery robots. He's back and he's doing I got a noise shirt Did you I did it got a very quick delivery then I Man, I love my new son, but the fact that he kept me from this yep exciting announcement

That's there's that's not even what we're cuz we've are actually did all the jokes about it Oh, and then actually came up with like better ones probably. Yeah Then you then you may have but I just want to give you a quick Quick CBD update Wings over Which is the name of a place has a new CBD infused menu for 420 oops, mr But this new flavor is sticking around it's garlic parm with CBD why? Garlic parm like chicken wings

Well, it's a garlic parm sauce that you can put on wings tenders and tots But it also it's CBD CBD garlic parm will get you Mondo fucked up, dude. It won't But why but why because CBD and parmesan tots, I guess Yeah, but at a certain point like if someone said here's some parmesan sauce and I crushed up some ibuprofen I wouldn't want that either This is heading this is heading destroying buffalo barbecue It doesn't make any sense to me some things don't need to go in things

You know game this new game boy brushes your teeth while you play it like I don't need that If you eat a little bit of hot of your Honda Accord's tires, it's also Claritin So that's good, but why if your allergies are bothering you just get out there and on your tire That's not even what we're fucking talking about because that is not the news right now The news right now in the world of QSR is everybody's every error is plant-based Oh, yeah, I love it. Yeah, everybody's plant-based. You like you know, they're salad or like a tomato No, sir, this is plant-based

Taco Bell, so you know that this is the end point of the whole row Taco Bell is testing a proprietary Boldly seasoned plant-based protein meat The cravatarian taco feet it's and it says here in parentheses sounds like vegetarian Oh Listen, there's probably somebody in the executive board who read that word and thought it said cravatrain and they Need a special helper to help them Like the original crunchy taco Supreme, huh? This take features shredded cheddar cheese Crisp lettuce diced tomatoes and reduced fats our cream served in a crunchy corn shell

Thank you, by the way for reducing the fat in the sour cream. I have a much a big spring in my step now Except now fans can experience Taco Bell's beloved taco in vegetarian form the cravatarian taco is Currently testing at only one Taco Bell location. Wow. That's at 14 042 Red Hill Avenue, Tustin, California until Market why Why would you put out a press release to say that if you go to this one bizarre ass Taco Bell in a Californian city? They'll they'll serve you a vegetarian taco like that's why why so we need to know that well Justin They put out press releases when they open that new Guardians of the Galaxy ride at Disneyland

And there's only one of those yeah, that's a good point. That's almost a good point It's like glances off being a good point and I would also wager that this Proprietary Taco Bell turbo fake beef is gonna send you on a roller coaster ride of a different kind Hi, I'm turbo fake be the newest American gladiator Set a fucking land speed record cruising I'm blowing with wreck. It's gonna make a new in between your intestines There's the shoots and ladders It's gonna make a gut channel

The cravatarian taco is just one output of Taco Bell's innovation team as they've been busy making good on the brand's continued commitment to provide vegetarian options 2021 if you're keeping tracks so far that includes one vegetarian taco in California So it's going pretty good for me. Yeah, I guess. Hey, you guys are still working on that, right? Oh It's in Tustin did you just make up a name? No, I'm sure it's cuz your name is your name is Dustin And I think you just said your own name the term cravatarian it

Feels compelled to outline here is inspired by all of Taco Bell's cravable options Yeah, and it emphasizes how no one should have to sacrifice bold flavors for their lifestyle It's okay It's fun to see the marketing person get their hand on the ball who came up with that term like tell them how I thought of it Hey, tell them how I thought of Craver's it. No, I think they'll get it I think credit it's right there. No, but tell him cuz I'm like this is the best thing I've ever done You have three kids, Doug This is my fourth kid the cravatarian taco the Cravatran, you know what you actually said Cravatrain and I think I like that better

Too late to ah damn it. Um, so that that is huge news if you are near Tustin Then mail us one guys can get is there time for one? Is there time for one more very brief? Yeah, there's always time del taco created a Mexican pizza ghosted support hotline wait For the past several years the concept of ghosting Uh-huh when someone cuts off all communication without explanation. Thank you so much has become an everyday phenomenon Not so much an everyday phenomenon I might editorialize that they don't have to parenthetically describe what the term means in the press release, but no trust us It's an everyday phenomenon more than a year ago a certain to stada like menu item described as a Mexican pizza

Disappeared from a major Mexican fast-food chain and fans took the social media and other do you see what's happening? Yeah, and other online platforms on moss to air their grievance If they're airing their grievances about the Mexican pizza, I assume it is in the form of farts requests went unanswered leaving hundreds of thousands of consumers hangry sad and ghosted Okay, and so now a year later Yeah, delt delt taco restaurants with breakneck speed has is offering emotional and culinary Support to all those disappointed fans via a Mexican pizza ghosted support hotline At 1-877-3 ghosted fans can call the line 24 7 Wow that persistent availability

I assume is very Because you never know when the grief of the Mexican pizza will hit you you can call 24 7 receive guidance inspiration and a resolution for being wronged in the form of an exclusive promo code for a buy one crunch tata Get one free from delt taco through May 20th, and I just say We you have been doing bringing to us these months for quite a while and like sometimes I think like This is the most like throw it at the wall and see what sticks and then something else comes along and then something else comes like and I I'm now hesitant to say it but this feels like

Just conceptually perhaps In many ways the wildest one, right? And I don't I think it's the time frame. I think it's the idea This is it's like when somebody like slams you and then like later that night You're brushing your teeth and you think of a really good retort only in this case The slam wasn't against you wasn't a slam and your resort Your your retort is to come up with a Emotional support hotline for the people who feel Slided by the slam it is it is as if a kid said to another kid like you look dumb today

Yeah, and you a third party unrelated to the scenario Nine months later went to the insulted kid and said hey, do you need to talk about that? And they went I don't fucking remember what you're talking about What they what So you would think that del taco would be like So we're doing Mexican pizza right fuck you but Del taco doesn't I guess they don't have the guts because they do have this thing that's called a crunch tata that's like

You know around Shit, it looks like a Mexican it looks like the taco bow Mexican pizza Mexican pizza does not exist in the world Is an invention of taco bell So I They don't call it the Mexican pizza What they're saying is like we have something sort of like the Mexican pizza Do you want to call this one a hundred number about it? Yeah Because then we can make the connection in your head that these two things are sort of the same thing you can come to to del taco

Tim hackbart, you guys know him. He's the cmo over there del taco Yeah, of course, of course del taco is more than happy to fill the Mexican pizza void and meet the obvious pin-up consumer demand However, instead of just meeting expectations with a single crunch tata We went further by offering a variety that'll appeal to vegetarian. Do you mean cravitarian? Stay right here. And by that do you mean cravitrains? If you are a vegetarian, do you describe yourself as anything other than a cravitarian? You don't you're not living Uh beef and chicken fans I just think of myself as a chicken fan all three crunch tata's highlight our um

quick service restaurant plus positioning With quality ingredients like our fresh house made guacamole fresh from scratch slow cooked beans and signature queso blanco While offering guests best in class value for the money on top of a large Six and a half inch freshly fried tortilla. So it's like a mexican pizza So what it is is a No, here's what happened is that they wanted to get into the mexican pizza game by which I mean the fucking tostada game Which is to the tostadas, which is tostadas But they can't but they know if they just call it tostadas people aren't going to know that

They're instantly instantly there are certain people I should say that aren't going to know they're talking about taco bell's amazing Mexican pizzas And so this is their way of kind of having their mexican pizza and calling it a tostada and then also eating it too And I you got to do something I and also not calling a tostada still The belligerence on display here is like no one would ever know what a tostada is We have to call the crunch tata so they want to eat it now Have you called the number yet? Because I haven't loaded up on my phone. I just want to know it's definitely wait. Wait, can you

You know me though, I can yeah, that's what I was thinking we can get a call going right here I mean, I know for sure it's going to be a robot area answering. I better be oh god Yeah, but I don't think I could actually handle if it's a real if nothing else Just the idea of a human being have to be on call 24 7 for that number 24 7 Yeah, the 24 7 thing it does make me think that it'll be recording, but hey, we can treat ourselves Give me one second. Okay Okay, so we called and it was a real human being and that I don't they it was not a conversation um

It was just someone telling us about a del taco promotion So I we spared you the the very lengthy script that was read to me Hey, and and let's spare them too because we said like what the number is the numbers there in the press release You can find it even if you didn't catch when we say don't call it a human being will have to talk to you But what if you're creating what if by calling you're being a job creator? I don't actually know Oh, no I'm moving on Um, do you guys want to quick yahoo real quick?

Yes, we're in there. All right. It's a fact. Lay it on me. Yeah, it's another gram robot joint. Thanks, gram It's a question mark yahoo answers use your question mark. Um, uh, call I'll call them del asks canned blt Hi, y'all. Hi y'all I gave recently started reading a book about the ways of preservation through canon It seems like you can meet and cheeses and veg And vegetables but almost everything it is possible then for me to try and can a blt Just a thought here's my idea toast the bread add the mayo add the tomato But add lots of salt to help with preserving add the bacon then the lettuce then put it all on the bread

Then I can put it in a can and vacuum all the air out so the bacteria can't breathe Then I put the lid on and boil the jar. Will this work or will the mayo make the bread soggy over time? Thanks I'm new to canning, but I want to become a master I think Boy if you put it in a Jaw a can a jar And you vacuum and you vacuum all the air out so the bacteria can't breathe Does that kind of stasis lock?

There's a there's a sort of osmosis. I'm worried about of mayo encroaching into the breadlands mayo and tomato Let's be honest tomatoes very a very wet customer. Yeah um Could you dehydrate both the tomato and the mayo and a's? Oh, that's fun And then rehydrate them with some sort of eyedropper later in the process I mean there are canned hamburgers. Yeah. Yeah, this is known hamburgers Can we make those with the technology of our homes?

Do you know what I mean like here's what here's the and they specifically asked about a blt. Yeah, right Here would be my issue. Okay When mcdonald's launched the mcdlt Yeah They were so flummoxed By the tech like that the prime the like uh, perfect blt experienced that they created a two prong Uh styrofoam container in a real fuck you to mama nature, right? Which kept the hot side as jason alexander told us in um

In that famous ad it kept the hot side hot kept the cool side cool Yeah, so mcdonald's in their infinite wisdom could not master this technology Certainly Certainly us at home. It's well beyond our camp. No, thanks. Well, we're gonna be able to preserve it I think the problem is is that it gives you too much time to think about the blt itself Which as a functional sandwich is great Okay No, but I I mean like you there's quick quick, right bacon. Let us to me. It's quick quick and easy, right?

It is a functional sandwich But as far as like there's no bells and whistles in a blt. There's nothing it's not It's not going to change the world of blt. It's not revolutionary So I'm saying you're going to a lot of work To preserve a blt. I'm just saying I think that there are better More interesting options that one could do and be excited later in the in the apocalypse to find, you know Your canned croque monsieur right like lt is a bullshit

Sandwich you can't take a club sam You can't take a club sandwich and take one of the components off of it and then call it a different Even more desirable sandwich. It's it can't happen like that the blt It's disgusting those three. I was trying to dance around that griffin. I didn't want the blt I've been dancing around it for too fucking long like it's You can't just give something a name and then it's this it's a real sandwich Bacon isn't enough to be the star of a sandwich show like it just isn't it's a friend that helps Sorry griffin. Can you say that very pleasing sentence again bacon isn't enough to be the star of the sandwich show

Thank you Now let's talk but here's the thing I you can can a blt, right because you can't can't can't can't can I really don't like doing the show some days I forget I even forget what I was gonna. Oh, yeah If we if we tweak a little bit our definition of the word preservation I think that the answer to this can be a firm. Yes Can you can you can a blt? Yes, you sure? Yes, absolutely

And it will be in there and stuff's gonna happen to it when you open it later It something will be there Do you know what I mean? Maybe not in the original So they're talking more of like a time capsule scenario Yeah, the matter itself is preserved the flavor and texture maybe not It'll be different texturally and flavor lately and not in a great way. I bet But no, you might have been on a new society in there, right? Yeah

Yeah, there might be a little fucking whoville down there a little a little tiny mayor talking to you. Who knows the mayo Oh travis you're on fire, baby. Yeah, baby But you know what that means. It's time to wrap up. Yep Once Travis gets too hot. We got to go out so he's on top Yeah, can't use it all up. Leave him wanting more. Let's go All right That is gonna do it for us. Thank you so much again one last time maximumfund.org forward slash join Please please please we really could use the help

Oh boy Wow, please help us out. We really appreciate it. We really appreciate you. Thank you for all your support over the years You're the absolute best Um, thank you to montane for the use of our theme song. My life is better with you Uh, and it's a good it's a good track and uh coming to sam goodies this summer Good, he's got it. He's got it, baby Suncos does not which is no no just real quick. Uh, we talk a lot about the bonus content I think we mentioned that already but in case you didn't uh the bonus my brother my brother and me this year is us

trading different bits and doing each other's segments Uh, and I just want to talk real quick about the adventure zone bonus episode if you like the adventure zone It is Justin DMing a world of his six-year-old daughter charlie's creation. It is horrifying It's horrifying and it is also I don't know. It's I've been ruminating on it It feels to me like a pilot for a bigger thing like the charlie verse Like kids weave the darndest like tails. Yes But yeah, that's it

Hey, I have a final yahoo here and it may actually because this website will become unavailable Before we record again. This may be the final final yahoo Um, the I I don't hate it. I don't hate that. This is it Uh, because it is another gram robot. Thank you gram closing it out with a hat trick It's an anonymous yahoo answers user who I'm going to call Griffin it was me the whole time asks Milk in soda stream. Does it work or is it a fairy tale?

My name is Justin McElroy I'm Griffin McElroy. So long you beautiful beautiful beast off. It's been my brother. My brother made kiss your dad's screw on the lips It's better It's better. It's better with you because it's true It's better. It's better with two It's better with you Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported