My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 559: The Moon Sent Me

Episode Date: May 10, 2021

Nosy neighbors be damned, we’re about to fire up the grill and make some delicious gipino. Gapino? Cioppino. Shrimp.Suggested talking points: Bone Fleas, Riddle Prison, Joey Bloobs, Rugged Spicy Boys, the Peters Parker, a case of Pepsi Lungs, What Do Babies Care About?Consider becoming a supporter of our show: www.maximumfun.org/join/ Support AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate For resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ 

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby Precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me and advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother wolf wolf big dog No fleas on me Travis McElroy. He does got something fleas ain't no fleet. Hey, fuck you you take that back I seen him. I seen him and this is Griffin McElroy the little brother. I'm always sort of doing slams Yeah, and I'll say this about Travis It's been a minute, but I have seen those fleas you dirty dog

No, I actually shaved my whole body to get rid of them. So they're inside fleas. Oh, no, the blood Bone fleas. I've got the bone fleas. Listen, we need you to become a max fun drive member So I can afford my bone flea medication. It's so expensive. I have to I have to every day I have to fly to Canada and get one big pill that I take and then I fly home Right, right. Oh Lee and then the next day. I have to do it all over again. I've been doing this for the last six years And I wonder did he stop the pandemic and the answer is no, you know, I had to have I had a charter by private jet at that point I can go so I can go to Canada

Higher private jet he did that like Indiana Jones movie thing where it's like a bunch of chickens It was me and a bunch of chickens in a cargo plane and Gonzo from the Muppet babies was flying not even grown up Muppets Big Bird was being shipped to a circus. So I'm all in one plane together I need your help. You can help me shove a big pill up my butt to get rid of my bone fleas if Just to be clear. It doesn't get rid of the bone fleas. It just keeps him a bay Sorry, Trevor real quick I'm looking at the like notes for like how to do a good pledge break that max maximum funds sent over and it says that you

Should explicitly say the line give me money so I can get the pill in my butt for my bone fleas Yeah, that's actually for next. Yeah, you've got a heavy messaging You know how you know how Tony Stark aka Iron Man has to have an arc reactor in his chest to keep the metal pieces out of His heart. That's what I mean. I need a pill to keep the bone fleas the bone fleas I'll tell then that's all there is to it. It's the maximum. I will have this sentence. I will have it Drive is happening right now. We need you to to get on board if you're a fan of what we do This is the time of year. We come to you for a brief 10-day period and say hey, please please

Help us out, please the worst part the worst part is the pill is the pill is spiky and I don't know If I get a little bit extra money, I can afford the smooth pill It's twice as much the fucking American by which I mean Canadian also I may be health care systems fucked up if it if you can give $5 a month Not only we'd be supporting this great content, but you're also gonna be getting over 200 hours of bonus content That you are just gonna love we've got so many old episodes if you've never heard them There's a lot of real silly ones in there a lot of great Goofs and and

I was gonna say goofs and gapes, but that's not Please don't say gapes the pill is so big and spiky Wow That's a goofs and gapes. No Chelsea, please Five dollars a month. What does that mean? Well? All right, I'll let you all in and cuz you guys are friends No, but the number at the top of the screen that you see it max fun That is absolutely just a computer projection

They're guessing about where they thought we would be no one has donated yet and you could be the I feel like we're We're trending toward fraud right now I feel like we're because people definitely are donating so I worry saying what yours We're kind of looking at fraud in the store window and saying I don't know maybe I could pull it Well, you threw a brick through the store window and grabbed fraud and put it in front of the microphone and like listen We don't have no donors. We're doing good But we can still use your help go to maximumfund.org slash join and and think about supporting our stuff It's five bucks or if you up it to ten dollars

You're gonna get an exclusive pin and Travis can get the smooth pill Which is massive five dollars a month is just the bonus content Travis can't get the smooth pill for five It's a it's a spiky. It's the bad spiky one. Yeah. Yeah, sure This is the one this is your moment to step up if you're already at five you care about my anus If you have five dollars a month and you're already at that level first off Thank you. We so appreciate your support But maybe bump it up to ten dollars a month so Travis can get the smooth pill, please everybody somebody think of my butt It hurts him really bad. We're

Maximumfund.org for its last joint. Don't wait. Don't hesitate Donate last week. Yeah, it or else. It'll be late Just listen just go right now so you can enjoy the rest of the episode as a as a member of the of the network We really appreciate it. We're real me piss boys really Seriously, I'm not about my anus. It's the max fun drive. Yeah, and this is the it was supposed to be putting out our Best foot forward and you want to kick things off? by Jaylin Oh, thank you Jaylin. Oh

He actually liked this bit. It's the voice. It's the voice that I wish Travis. It's riddled me Just do your north. Just do your regular voice and I feel like it would be really good I Okay, this is from Jaylin. Thank you, Jaylin. I exist but have no material form I am made of numbers but up here square. I Build upon other of my own but do not tuffle down. I sit still and do nothing, but I'm still useful. What am I? Is it a computer monitor? No or a computer no a

Phone no one more time. I pass I exist but have no material form I am made of numbers, but a pierce square. I build upon other of my own But do not tuffle down. I sit still and do nothing, but I'm still useful. What am I? Minecraft oh my god griffins Minecraft blocks I Said the right answer to a riddle me piss. That's fantastic. Congratulations griffin. That's huge I don't even know ten years. Yeah, ten years off my sentence in the riddle prison and we're getting closer closer every day To that sunshine outside

No, that one actually makes sense trap. I put the pieces together Yeah, sure this squid squares that you build on as Minecraft kids love it learn about it learn about it Learn about Roblox too. I think that's the sequel to Minecraft is it my my kids won't tell me It's a real it's a real tricks situation Did you have another one Travis or is it just no just that one? I didn't expect griffin's brain to be so I don't know young Here's what's wild and people have pointed this out I am always quick to do a slam on Travis's bits

Which is part of the dynamic and he loves it, but also I'm really good at them Yeah, I'm like wicked good at Travis's bits like I'm so totally picking up what he's putting down Something is broken inside you. Yeah, maybe that's what you're rejecting when you reject Travis's bits, right? And it makes me think that Travis broke it. Yeah Let's do a question. Yeah, please oh We should mention by the way This is kind of a special Recording because this is the first one and not to continue to utilize it forever

This is the first one that we have recorded since the shutdown of Yahoo answers on May 4th. Yes Yeah, I can without a net at this point. Well, the net's still there It's a ghost net because there are some archived ones That I'm gonna bring to the bring to the table today just because I haven't found a replacement for it yet I I would like to do a little business news here. Okay as someone who follows business news. Yeah, I Don't know if y'all saw this but this week it was announced or maybe the tail in the last week It was very recent within the last week It was announced that Verizon which had bought

Yahoo and AOL remember this yeah, I called him oath and then changed that to Verizon Media Group I think because oath is stupid. Yeah, well, so is so is buying AOL and Yahoo. Yeah, but they just had a massive loss I mean Really poor leadership just sold Yahoo and AOL To Apollo management, I think is the name of the company, but I cannot I Cannot accept the fact that these two are not related there is it is 100% correlation to me that this Apollo management group didn't have the Fucking guts to own Yahoo answer. They don't they wouldn't do it. There's not a price high enough Right Yahoo could be like well, we do have this one other. No close it down shut it down. We won't be owning that. Thank you

What does Yahoo have? Other than Yahoo answers that is worth. I think it was five billies. Well, it's not fun that y'all Right, I like it you pay for the rights to Brand it's also one of the most I mean juice a juice you do one Hey, let's see who can do the highest one Travis your turn Oh, no, my dogs are going nuts The show kicks ass Apollo shut it. I think Apollo wouldn't close the deal

I think it was one of the parts of the deal is like we won't buy this. Yeah, you have to kill it Most visited home pages This is like there's a bunch of boomers that set their home page to yahoo with internet first came out And they thought all this I won't need anything other than this, right? It's still that's still the front page. That's still where they're going. Yeah, so I don't know you tell me They got a lot of news stories up there Looks like the good doctor may have been canceled. I don't know no page for new new information Okay, so help help help I recently became aware through a mutual friend that my roommate's girlfriend was planning to break up with

That's slow down all these people knowing people and having relationships with people gets very confusing to me Yeah, that was a very lovable sentence though Justin I recently became aware through a mutual friend that my roommates girlfriend was planning to break up with him Okay, it is clear that my roommate has no idea this is coming and will take it hard I am not the best at helping someone pick up the pieces after one of these things But I wanted to offer some support. So I decided to purchase I mean, there's a there's a price tag price just like right in the middle here purchase $190.99

$190.99 from a roommate who's a lifelong Texas Longhorns fan a cameo pep top from UT football legend Colt McCoy My question is how long must I wait after the breakup to share Mr. McCoy's rousing speech to avoid suspicion That I knew about the break up ahead of time I don't want to wait too long and I've not had the desired effect But also don't want to move too quick and out myself as an accessory to this breakup plan It's from cameo countdown in the Pacific north Let's let's take our time with this one because I'm jittery because it's the best question We've gotten I think in years

It is so to to to explore a new wrinkle in the sort of this human web of Flesh and love that we have between us. I thought we'd seen it all. This is a new one What do you do with your pre-cog breakup colt mccoy cameo because it can't be like, uh, yeah Doug like my partner broke up with me. Ah, that's a bummer, but I know what's gonna help Yeah, you can't know. It's like this is true. You can't have it ready to go for sure But you also like It was smart of you to not wait Because what if you had

Like sent the request to colt mccoy after the you know, the word came down Right home office, you know, right sure. What if and it had taken a lot sometimes on cameo? You know, I've got a couple cameos and sometimes it takes a long time sometimes jojo see what just declines the The request Nothing against jojo. I know she's extremely busy more like no, no seawall Yeah, that's well. No. Well because she said no. No, it's well I mean jojo's got a lot of different business opportunities She's a leader and i'm just saying that like you can't be counting on it

You can't be like well mother's day is taking care of jojo seawall is gonna I mean that wasn't what is sure you get the idea You also need to be very careful that mr. McCoy the football legend Doesn't say anything during the message that will give it away for instance if he's like i heard you're having a rough time Just want you to hang in there go long horns hook them horns and happy easter Right, and then it's like oh, he's reading today's newspaper very prominently. Yes, exactly Also, um when when you go to cameo And you're looking at

I'll say it an artist and and and wondering whether or not you're gonna make a purchase from them One of the things that's on their page is a bunch of other cameos that they've done for people And I want you question ask her and everybody listening at home to sort of process the fact that there is a non zero chance That this video is just sitting on a boy A home page right now lousers that this this could just be On there especially if your roommate is a colt mccoy fan and might be like oh, yeah Oh, I wonder if colt mccoy has a cameo pit

What? Worst case worst case scenario is that they're a colt mccoy fan and of my brother my brother and me fans Oh, no Because now they we left you all the clues you need a detective Hey to put it together question ask her you need to get a hold of your roommate's girlfriend and get her to do it Right No, this is what you have to travis has a great point. I'm sorry But you have to encourage the girlfriend to just pull the trigger. Hey susan. I fucked up

I need you to be a listen. You you got to pull put a bullet right between his eyes But just give him that old uh anton chagrin a bolt right there and put him down because uh I done fucked up. You could also I fucked up and colt fucked up to colt complicit Let me loop cold in here. Hey, cope. You're you're on with susan. Yeah. Hey, it's me football legend colt mccoy You got to do this. You got a you got a breakup with this, dude Gotta in it. Can you get a cameo begging? Of colt mccoy begging the girlfriend to dump while you need to get it now

Please you're gonna need to get a cameo of someone colt mccoy respects to tell colt mccoy to do it Damn, I'm hoping that there's not a lot of colt mccoy slash my brother my brother and me fans out there Who now think that their girlfriend is about to dump them and now they're calling their girlfriends like I Heard the good word from the macroys. We're done some anthem It's over. Hey, and also I gotta call colt mccoy and tell him to fuck off too Um, hey, do you guys want? Uh A ghost a ghost of a yahoo a ghost of yahoo's past this feels a little bit like in sand by me

Where they're gonna go poke a dead body. Well, I had to I had to come back to it because we did get an email from the druid himself the level 9000 yah drew druid drew dav import and this is yahoo answers user josh who asks Baby cast a spell at slash on me My cousin's new baby pointed at me and said something that sounded like a spell I know babies have a stronger connection to the magical source and I don't remember the exact incantation. Am I gonna be okay? Well, it depends. Why would you assume it's a negative spell? Could be a positive baby blessing

Oh that do they do those? Do babies are babies concerned enough with other living beings that they Would would bless them or are they really really? Really just kind of about their own shit in a very rude way It depends on if you get yourself an angelic or a tommy pickles, right? You got a tommy pickles a tommy pickles out there doing good. Let's just say I got myself O-reptar Oh, man

Uh-huh babies don't talk words Unless we use it. There's some people who use the word baby liberally. I think you stop being baby at like two I believe when the baby can tattle around griffin there is now a new term for them Usually refer to tattle babies tattle babies Tattle babies tattle bees could be one of them tattle bees What kind of magic would a baby even be interested

In in doing because it's not as fun as it seems like in movies and tv where it's like, you know hamburgers falling from the sky Oh, you're talking about magic isn't it's fun? Yeah, no. Yeah, it's you know, it's a bit more tame than You know make make my pacifier bigger or whatever I think um, I mean, let's see. What do babies care about babies care about pacifier? Yeah, babies care about uh

Pulling naked on my beard. What? Babies care about naked. They do care about naked love that love that. I love the naked Maybe that's it. Maybe the baby is just saying like I'm gonna cast a spell on you That makes you do stuff for me Right because that's what babies are about. Maybe doesn't have to do that That's what babies. That's what baby is baby. All baby is is a box you put food in And you lay them down when they need it and if you do either of those two things bad They make a sound that sucks shit so that you will fix it. It's all that they are

I love my new one. So dope. It's great. I've created life But he pissed on me twice yesterday a lot of people have baby Yeah, because they want to have a child But baby is a bridge. Yep, and it's a rickety one. Oh boy I almost fell. Oh, you did fall now. You're burning the lava. Yes. The bridge was over lava Do you still want child this decision that no longer affects you? You have baby. Yeah, baby. This is all you've ever had This is all you will ever have and here's the best thing too is to to follow up. Justin's analogy

Sometimes you don't fall off the bridge, but the bridge has decided you fell off the bridge and it's still mad The bridge is still mad at you I don't think there's anything people want to hear less than adults complaining about their babies So I will say this what you should have done and you got to be on your toes user of this now defunct and disgraced website You got to do a counter-curse right then and there like don't skip a beat like, you know, pull out your uh Salts or whatever and do a little do a little counter charm and and when everybody asks what you're doing You can say like, oh, it's a it's a trick for babies. I learned about it. It's a baby game

It's a baby trick This is a rattle because it looks like sage. No, it's a rattle. No, I learned it from David Blaine It's a baby. That's that's actually the the proper procedure is you like the sage Hand the sage to the baby. Yeah, then leave you start a new life. Yep Somewhere else where the baby did burn out of the house. Yeah new life for you. Yeah. Uh, how about another question? How about a yeah, uh, yeah another question I'm currently living in a house that's directly connected to the other houses on either side. Is that a row home? Does that take you to what a row home is? Yeah

Yeah Is a rope row home a house boat? No What it can be a big cramp sometimes, but it's actually a really nice house with a back deck that has a great view of distant mountains And I would guess a really really great view of your neighbors because they're right there Uh, a community of cramps at times. I've realized there's a nice old couple that lives next door to us That are great neighbors and I have a mold that I'm worried about because they're just right there I just see see their whole business, but they're all they're out of their deck all the time

This is a problem because our decks are directly connected And we're only separated by a thin wooden lattice Which means whenever my roommate and I sit outside we either have to ignore them or talk to them the whole time How could I enjoy the deck with my neighbors out there all the time? So I wake up it could indirectly discourage them from being outside without being a bad neighbor That's from I don't want to be a deckhead Now here's the thing about this right that I I didn't consider But now here and you say it out loud clicks for me if you have the option to ignore them

Yeah, that must mean They are not initiating The discussion with you right the question isn't every time we go out there. They tried to talk to us Right, so it seems like they've already made this decision For you and you keep interrupting them being intimidated by Sorry, what and being intimidated by

Maybe having a conversation with your neighbors has such big 2020 energy that I don't really it's it's but it's also it's not a judgment on you don't want to be a deckhead because There but for the grace of god I actually did I have gone I have been in this exact situation It is it is a comfy one and the solution I found was do the front porch And that's it's essentially like when you share a room with somebody and you draw a line down the middle The front porch is yours and back porch is theirs and you don't have to send them a letter or anything. They'll figure it out But here's the thing what I'm saying is sitting here thinking about it

Can you guys like I think it's like, you know what something in 2021? I want to do a better job of okay is before we start just fucking Blovating I want to try to get into the mind's eye a little bit of these question askers Yeah, I want you to try to crawl inside for a second. It's like seriously like john malkovich kind of thing Yeah, imagine you just fired up the grill-in-time playing list. Okay, that's your jim crotch. He just blasted it right. Yeah A nice a nice plate of shrimp They should just I don't travel don't I charge you crazy. I was sorry. I was trying to set I thought we were doing like any it's a mindsets imagine. Yeah, but my my mind is very visceral

Actually with Travis imagine so hard that you can fucking yeah, that was not me You got a big plate of shrimp. Okay. What kind sorry, what kind? grilled Well, they're already grilled ramp. Wait, wait. Hold on. Why did I turn on the grill if the shrimp are already grilled? You didn't turn on the grill you just the grill-in-time. No, I said so I grilled in silence We got a marinade on those bad boys No, it's already grilled We're gonna. Yeah, I actually did do a nice little like olive oil lime juice

Mmm But I'm still confused. Did I did I grill in silence before I turned sitting to the grilling time Playlist the shrimp you saw Tade because the weather wasn't nice enough for me. You said they were grilled Why am I lying to myself using a grill pan? I used a grill pan inside Then I came outside because the weather got better It warmed up and the client the sun started peeking out Got it. We can only taste like two minutes to grill shrimp The shrimp are getting cooked. The more you guys argue the longer it is before we can eat these amazing shrimp

Okay, we're starting over. What kind of sides Justin? We're starting over with with the chapino, okay? It's a peasant's dish. You made it on this stove and you take your warm What am I drinking? A malbec. Oh with chapino? I guess I don't even know what a malbec is, but you're drinking a malbec. Well, it's nothing a malbec is something just Hear each other guys. I want to be honest. Can I have a divert semina? Can I be honest with you guys? Yeah, ever since Justin made the imaginary shrimp go away. I've really been tuned out of the fucking podcast There's shrimp in the chapino. Well, then Justin you would put a red wine with seafood. You simpleton. What's wrong with you?

What's the okay now? All right. Now I'm angry now. I'm angry now. I'm googling. What's the best? wine pairing with a nice with a Michael jacquino no real nice. Yeah Chappie to pino to pito jacquino Jaki, you know, it's a peasant's dish. Okay. Yeah, you can say it as many times as you want But it's not going to help me spell it and type it into a search browser It's not g.i.p.i.n. Oh c.i Oh pp.i.n.l. You said pp. That's fucking awesome, man

Uh a californian Charbonneau or an italian barbara d'oste. Yeah So you can like maybe like either one of those those are red wines This is okay like super smart and a nice fruity zenfid bell for your oh, yeah Deck. Yeah, you're eating chapino. Yeah, and then you're just like sitting there and Also your elderly neighbor who I I want to give a little bit more character. Yeah, please We're gonna call him Peter Parker

He's sitting out there on his porch the peter parker are no relations for one a different one I absolutely would have mentioned if he was spider-man and also the neighbor in this context would not have Access to the information the spider-man. So it still could be spider-man Anyone anyway? Yeah, no not every These days. Are you kidding me all these? Yeah So you look and you're just like I want you guys to seriously stop goofing for a second And imagine trying to eat your chapino and just like locking eyes

Wait, what are locking eyes with peter parker? What are peter what's peter parker? And I guess their partner other peter parker doing here's what's so frustrating is they're eating chapino Is it the same chapino? It's a different chapino. And so the conversation is even more rich There's tons to talk about. Well now it seems like we have a lot in common. Why wouldn't we want to talk to the peter? It's it's not about not having anything in common. They like the neighbors Yeah, but they have too much in common and they feel like I'm sorry, but if I'm sitting six feet from you and we're both enjoying a nice Right, like I'm sorry experience that a really nice. Thank you. Right. Do you think maybe also they're trying to You know, sweet they're trying to maybe they're trying to huff a dougie back in the backyard

I thought you meant the elderly couple was trying to hook up with you and your roommate You're they always are no I'm saying you're in the backyard and you're trying this is your fucking house You live here You should be allowed to huff a dougie in the backyard if you want to but you don't know if they're cool or not And it's a thin lattice and there's holes in it So they'll be able to smell it and see it and know it well at this point if you're both having a really good Chapino then chances are they also want to huff a dougie and they're waiting for you to leave How do you how do you think chapino is

Man, I don't even know because I said everybody try to spell I said giakino earlier talking about And now I can't stop thinking about giakino and I fuck it. I'm so lost in the spelling Thanks to sunbasket, by the way. Yeah, former pastor former, uh, my brother my brother me sponsored for Yeah, why do I pay for it at this point? I'm still paying for it. But hey, thanks for sending such a nice chapino If we're going to keep justin in chapito, then we are going to need your help with the maximum fun drive Thank you. Okay. We're finally getting to the meat of it. Why don't we talk a little bit more about these, uh, these Can I say one thing? I'll tell you one more thing. Yes, please

I think that may have been if you if you do like inverse um like That most be the that might be the most we've ever talked about something in the hardest we've ever worked With the least amount of advice that came out of it. Yeah offered I just wanted I wanted to mark that occasion. I wouldn't but I wouldn't have done that juice I would have let that sail by I hope they didn't notice that we did such a dog shit job

Yeah, because basically we're saying it's like, hey, we did a shitty job And if you want us to keep doing a shitty job, maybe consider going to maximumfun.org Uh slash join in supporting the art and artists that you pity and wish were better We've told you at five bucks a month the max fun high fiverr level you get access to all the bonus content for Every show on the network for every year that that show has been on the network You could it's over 200 hours of bonus content We're trying a new thing this year where our regular episodes are dog shit So we can say like if you want that good stuff

You need to go to that bonus. Well, I don't know the the Special episode we did this year was a lot of fun where we switched around and did each other's bits And it was it gave me a real anxiety attack But it was it's still a fun time for the family If you want to step that up to 10 bucks a month, you're going to get the bonus content But you're also going to get a letterpress max fun membership card to let people know You're you're bonafides And also you get to pick one of 38 enamel pens

Each has a specific design for all the shows on the network and they are designed by megan lin cut Coming back to crush it once again For mbam-bam this year is whoa weirdly enough some shrimp Yeah, and it says but it says boat beauties on it. Well, we do talk about shrimp a lot though We love those boys shrimp a lot They're really they're fin they're phenomenal phenomenal. They take so little time to cook And look at them They're fun

It's a little skewer if you want to wash if you want to wash those shrimp down with some hot tea That's you do you man? You do you I am not going to yuck your yum But if you want to join the diamond friendship circle at 20 a month you get one of the pens you get the membership card You get the bonus content. You also get a take a minute tea kit Which uh has all that you need to have a special tea experience like a five and a half inch tall t10 and uh some loose leaf tea and uh for the loose leaf tea is orange tea Interstellar orange tea. I'm not doing a great job talking about this tea

But that's just because I don't know much about tea But you also get a rocket strainer and a tray for you to use and enjoy and just like Just have just take a fucking break for like a minute um And one other thing I wanted to mention about this is that I grilled shrimp on monday And then had red lobster on tuesday and then made a nice chipina with shrimp in it last night I'm just sitting here like I've had shrimp three nights in a row and I probably need to calm down a little bit Anything in excess like that can't be okay. Listen. I don't know what that has to do with the max fun drive

But thank you for sharing Justin. I also want to let you guys know about a couple special features That you can do this year one We always have the upgrade right if you've been a member for a while upgrade your membership to the next level get those rewards But you can also boost your membership if you're not quite ready to move up to that next support level We totally get it But if you find yourself, you know counting on max fun shows a little bit more and you want to give a little bit more You can do so by boosting it won't move you up to a new reward level, but it's a great way to give back Also, you can gift a membership

There's lots of people out there who want to get access to the bonus content and things like that You know, it's been a rough year and they may not be able to become a member Well, if you feel like giving back you can go to maximumfund.org slash join click on gift And you can gift a membership. You can donate a membership. You can do all kinds of things Uh, so check that out Uh, we really appreciate the support that y'all have shown us over the years. This is what our 12 this is our 12th max fund driver It's wild

Um, I mean, obviously like the max fund drive is is how our listeners support us directly And it is why we have been able to make this our our jobs and You know launch launch new projects like the adventure zone and You know tour back when that was a thing we used to be able to do and it's also another reason why it would be great To have your support this year because we didn't tour At all in the last 12 months 15 months. Actually, it's rough. Um, but yeah maximumfund.org slash join is the link think about

You know supporting us if you enjoy our work and you have the means and We we we really do appreciate it Please please Um, please Hey, can I do a final yahoo from the past of uh, and I'm still workshopping a name for this segment also Okay, sure. Uh, this one is uh asked by an anonymous yahoo answers user, uh, who i'm gonna call, uh Bail asks I'm glad that you're running out of gas exactly you're running out of fake

Let's have like bail like the ancient Like the craven god that moses snatched up. Is that it this one was sent in by No, this is this one was sent in by an unpronounceable series of characters Um, no, this is actually the final yahoo from episode seven, which is actually titled bill and ted's most tender engagement and um Let's and it's been it has been 10 years since we have first floated this we have a decade Of experience to come back to and the question is I think I have pepsi stuck in my lungs

What should I what should I do? Huh? Go to the hospital That's a great starting point travis. Um Oh, I know inhale some mentos Get it that seems like you've run the gamut on bad and good. Well somewhere between those two Yeah, um you I mean You probably didn't because you got two different tubes, right?

So if you try to put any liquid down you guys know about this Yeah, but if you try to put liquid down the air tube the air tubes like I wish you would fuck this Don't you hate that choke? That cough that you get when a little bit goes down the wrong pipe and your body just like flips its entire shit Yeah, that without fail, right? Everyone at the table like is on their feet like oh fuck No, no, no somebody do something and there's always this moment where you're like no I'm a fucking asshole. I just the liquid went down the wrong pipe and there's still this moment where everybody's like

Listen, we can't live with his death on our hands We've got to do somebody somebody's got to do something listen to him choke and then even after they've accepted Yeah, okay, maybe they're right. Maybe they are just an idiot that was gulping down their code red too quickly You'll have like one more follow-up choke and there's still an aftershock of everybody like oh god It's back everyone quick do something the problem is justin is that you're esophagus in that scenario is like that friend To have like maybe like a minor car like you know accident But like nothing major but then they keep telling the story for weeks because you'll keep having those little aftershock Oh, sorry, it's just

Sorry, sorry, just getting it all out speed at which friend concern becomes like all right. We fucking get it. All right Yeah, and what is everybody? What's the advice everybody give you should have a listen have a have a drink to Have a drink. I'm sorry. Justin wait. Sorry Could you do that just a quick delivery note if you could do that a little more dynamically? I think it would feel more like a segment from your stand-up comedy type five and what's everybody's a fight You know what? I mean like if you could hit that Let's take another right on. Yeah, that's that's super shitty tone. You do You know that one comedy that one when you're doing your really transgressive comedy go. Okay. Go give it another shot

Momentum is dead. No Justin Justin, please just no. Hey, it was a quick note. We'll fix it Hey, you've made me extremely self-conscious. No, we'll re-inject the momentum in post You know, it's bad enough travel that here in my 40s I feel like maybe I don't have the edge anymore that I used to as a younger performer and for you to just be like Like trying to act like um, you know Insert a stand-up comedian that I would have no way of ever meeting and do not already respect and also wouldn't get me in Trouble for making fun of but you get the idea. Joey blue. Yeah Joey bloops, I just made him up, but at the speed that that shit turns around

Haven't you done enough? I just googled actually Joey bloops is hugely problematic. Fuck Yeah, it was the quickest turnaround from his inception in your mind's eye to Making some tasteless jokes He just loves Rudy Giuliani always I thought I made up Rudy Giuliani But

Is Rudy Giuliani like a drop dead Fred character that someone created and I wish I want a munch I want too much Did we talk about pepsi lung at all? It was really hard Hey, pepsi lung I think we used it as a great jumping off point for doing some really edgy material and really transgressive. Yeah, okay I have two

quick updates from the uh, the house to talk about Um, the first is great They're the first in the industry to team up with terra cycle to recycle hot sauce packets. Oh boy That's good news, right just unused or the container. Yeah the container or the sauce contained within Sorry, sorry. So it's this the container itself these flexible film packets. There's currently No way to recycle them. In fact as Liz Matthews talk about global chief food innovation officer says in the food industry today There is no widely available solution for recycling the flexible film packets that are so commonly used for condiments So we're thrilled to leverage the expertise of terra cycle to recycle our conic sauce packet packaging in a way that's as bold and innovative as our menu

Okay, so this is good. I mean, I'm yeah, sure. I love it. I'm happy about this There's one little there's one little thing here. Oh, no, it's kind of that that I'm I'm sort of like I think it's kind of strange. Okay. All right While the companies will announce details of a national u.s. Recycling pilot program later this year Customer participation will be easy And will incorporate free shipping wait Oh, hold on. I am to send my empty packets So I guess

What they're hinting at is that one of two things will happen either You will take home a pre-stamped envelope from Taco Bell That you use to save all of your rugged sprucy boys After they've done their duty and once it is literally Balging at the seams You will put it in a truck and they'll take it to the recycling place So everyone can see the extent of your depravity. Yeah option two

You will walk into Taco Bell with an ant covered Walmart bag full of rotten Sauce packet wrappers Absolutely both are untenable. I'm thrilled about this future and big Big credit to anybody that's willing to put the legwork in on this one for me. I'd rather just skip the sauce another Thing that could be is just every sauce packet is Like a postcard. It has every packet has a sauce Has a stamp on it. God. Holy shit. I'm so tired

But the joke was the joke was if you just you could mail the the packets, right? You put the packets in a mailbox, but then the joke thing I was going to say is I was going to say So everybody go ahead and just start doing that Taco Bell you Have done nothing over the past 10 years But convince us that things can be food There's a lot of things where everybody at first is like this maybe isn't food And then you're like we just sold 2 billion of them. So what do you know?

This is a prime example. You've been training for this moment. Make the food packets food if you call them Crunch helpers or whatever, you know, I mean like you could sell a but I bet you could get a bunch of them going Wait, Justin. Are you saying that you think it's time for Taco Bell to see If they can convince the public to to eat Sauce packets they could do that one of two ways one is edible sauce packet and the other is a lot darker Yeah, if they say if they pair this they say Hey gang good news. We're bringing back Mexican pizza. We know you missed it and you sneak into the press release also

the sauce packets are now called uh They're called tongue herders and they are so delicious and you got a lot of different flavors They come in three well three different flavors and um, you just go ahead and you do eat those now You don't throw them away. You do eat those now. This is a new thing. It's not a new product Are you changing the formula of the packet? Is it now a torture? No, it's not a tortilla You we just want you to start eating those now and your napkins. That would be good for everybody If you're done with your napkin and your drinking cup go ahead and eat those that's now called a um

Tortilla fin and the drinking cup is called a Styrofoam poblano enjoy So that that's all great and then Taco Bell's like I know that that we have that one for you and I said listen tb Uh jm here. We got the mfd. That's the max fun drive Um, I'm gonna need you to come out with something real big. Okay. Like yeah, we got you bud Because here's the headline I'm about to say to you Maximum fund. Or first I join please. I just want to slip one in here subliminally because you're about to be so Delighted and thrilled that you'll be just throwing money at your podcast player

Taco Bell enlists the moon to introduce the whole world to taco. No Here it goes on here's the subhead the or the deck if you like When the moon looks like a taco on may 4th and Taco Bell fans in select locations around the globe can score a free taco as part of its first ever global campaign When the moon looks like a taco On may 4th in the 7th house The moon is known for some powerful influences from controlling Earth's tide to even affecting one's cravings

I thought for sure they were gonna say monthly there and not crazy Now to launch its first ever global campaign taco bell is using a billboard that the whole world can see that's not a moon That's a taco bell billboard now. It's claimed it. It's claimed it on may 4th Sorry, I missed it the may 4th the world's largest and brightest object in the night sky will Will visit that sentence does not hold up to scrutiny, but I'm not getting Neil back on the show to help us explain it It will resemble a favorite indulgence the taco A new lunar phase. We are affectionately calling the taco moon. No

Taco moon is the only No, I'm angry No, trap It's the only side that fans need to score a taco bell taco when the taco moon arrives on may 4th Fans in the u.s. Can score its number one best-selling menu item a free crunchy taco I get you know, I guess if you have a menu item called a free crunchy taco, it probably is a pretty good seller Can I tell you why I'm angry? Yes

And then I'll tell you why I'm delighted the headline makes it seem like the moon is complicit in this And just seems completely on the moon did not have a say in its participation Yes, this And it makes it seem like the moon is like, you know what? It's the latest celebrity endorsement of taco, but instead this would be like if they said hey whenever your friend Jerry Says, I don't know. It says Poughkeepsie. You get a free taco like your friend Jerry didn't sign up for this This is a complete happenstance. It should say taco bell dragoons the moon in order to Um, the what makes me happy is I don't think they realize these damn moons come back every month

So on my next taco moon You know that when the taco moon comes back or a half moon as the rest of us have called it for all of time The taco moon comes back. Do I get another pass? I think I should well, they can't say there's no rule book It says they can't Justin more than 20 markets are going to celebrate the taco moon Not really the u.s Not really earth wide then, huh? Well travis, I don't know what you want not everybody likes tacos So there's like all the different countries are going to do it

But they're all giving it their own spin Okay, for instance a free crunchy taco with the purchase of beverage and Guatemala and a free vegetarian crunchy taco available through delivery in india All of which combine local flavors with a taco bell twist And the moon Taco bell has been an established brand in the u.s for nearly 60 years and we are thrilled by the accelerating fandom We're seeing globally This is from the president of taco bell international as we're opening more and more restaurants internationally

We know the may 4th moon will take us to new heights Because the moon is high because the moon is high it says here heights Julie uh, oh then paused for 30 seconds as she stared at the interior heights Um, so this is uh The bell plans to give away the most tacos it has ever Has on a single day on may 4th when the saga of lunar phases ultimately displays its perfect half moon shape This is truly unhinged Um to announce the taco moon

There's a bunch of ads where the slogan is I see a taco And the taco cravings commence on may 4th and select markets as consumers recognize the power of the glowing taco moon This is literally the words on the page. It's so good words. I love words That taco bell is certain consumers were start seeing tacos everywhere Which is really just the beginning of reaching ultimate brand fandom So they're hoping that the moon will burn the idea of tacos into consumers retinas. You will start Yes, that you will start seeing More than 20 markets. I just want to return to this sentence because I cut the best part off

More than 20 markets will celebrate the taco moon as the us US based brand gives them a reason to try a taco And ultimately experience what taco bell fandom is holy shit First of all, can we all just say thank you to taco bell an american-based company for just spreading tacos throughout the world Thank you. I bet all the other countries that aren't america are so fucking jazzed to hear about um that they took the moon that they got the moon And also that they got the moon. Does moon have significance in your culture? Well, we're overwriting that with a free crunchy taco. We call this a taco

Basically what it is So we take uh this flimsy thing and we make it hard and then we fill it with mediocre Ingredients ever heard of it. You're welcome Sometimes we blast it and ranch. Hold on. What's ranch? Let me start We're gonna need some something sprinkled in the sky to show. Oh wait The stars are now ranch blasted flavor Okay, the comments are sauce packets The sun is uh the oven that we use to cook the taco moon and uh, if you see birds

Well, those are nature's waiters bringing the taco moon straight to your table Oh Pluto that's the mexican pizza. It's going now. It's gone in the airplanes. Those are Plates For your taco. They said they're gonna give away the most tacos they've ever done in a single day. All right and which means that all across this planet on may 4th if you sense a Disturbance in the force. It wasn't with that star wars day. It was Literally hundreds of thousands if not millions of people globally

Walking into a restaurant and saying to the face of another human being the masked face Let's hope of another human being. Hi. I'm here for a free taco because of the because the moon sent me The moon told me to come in here and I knew it's time for free tacos. So that's why I'm here or alternately a bunch of uh employees Staring into the face of an unwitting customer and saying the phrase So would you like to add a free taco because of how the moon looks right now? Justin you're also assuming a certain level of confidence from the customer that I do not think is a lock for most folks Including myself where I would walk into the restaurant and my heat would be excuse me

Is the moon right for a free taco? Is this the is the moon in the right way for me to get the free taco now, please Is this the appropriate time for A free taco judging by the moon. Can I have a taco please? I think is all I would say May I please have a taco now for zero money? I'd like a taco and if the moon says it's free, I will take you for sure I would love the moon and see if I can have a taco

Can you open the porthole and look out? And let me know what the moon says. I took a picture of the moon on my phone Is this any I know I'm two days late but is this anything So, uh, that is that is the uh, uh, the the munch squad for this week Um, that was that was a lot for taco bell to give us. Thank you. Talk. Thank you taco bell So jen at first free taco is now this Um, so thank you so much for listening to our show and one more time. We just want to give you the big

Pitch, uh, please please please if you can Uh head on over to uh maximum funda or forward slash join Kick in even if it's five bucks a month that makes a huge difference Um to us because it really adds up with with everybody else's donations and it's the only way we're able to like Uh pay our bills and feed our families and and you know houses and stuff like that And it it means So much to me And to the rest of our family. So thank you and maximum funda or forward slash join

Please please please please please don't wait because this is our last chance to to to ask, uh, please Lynn this your support. Thank you so much and thank yeah once again if you do make sure you tweet it as soon as they thank you Uh, yeah, and hey, thanks to montane for the use of our new theme song uh, and that that theme song is called my life is better with you and um, it's out exclusively on title Montane our friend montane just released, uh, a music video for her your vision Entry, uh, it is called technicolor if you search montane technicolor on youtube You will find the music video and it web sass his title I said the jokes because I thought title was not available anymore

I think it's still I don't know right okay scratch that about title. I do think it's still going I thought it was like a zoom thing What's the one that real player had do you remember that one that we used to try to sell it, uh, uh best buy Rhapsody, oh Rhapsody that's the paul. Um, no that track is going to drop eventually and it's going to really set the world on fire Um, do you all want to final yahoo? Yes, please. I'm waiting on justine. It's a submarine need two keys Okay, yes This one was also sent in by the level 9000 yah drew drew drew davenport

It's an anonymous yahoo answers user who i'm gonna call level 9000 Yah drew drew drew davenport Is it appropriate to wear a bathing suit underneath clothes at a funeral? My name is just i'm griffin mackleroy. This has been my brother my brother mean kiss your dad square out the lips My life ah It's better. It's better with you My life, ah It's better. It's better with you

This is true It's better it's better with two My life ah It's better with you MaximumFun.org Comedy and Culture. Artist-owned. Audience-supported.