My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 560: Starter in the Jarter
Episode Date: May 17, 2021We’re gonna hit you with the shrink ray, put you in our pocket, and take you on a journey with us. It’s not going to be a very exciting journey, since you’ll be in a pocket and everything. And w...e’re not sure where we’re going exactly. But it’s a journey.Suggested talking points: ROI On Oranges, My name is Dr Cheese, Pep’eps Place Conspiracy, Tell Me All Your Fruit Thoughts, Yahoo That’s not a Yahoo, Parakeet Parrot PeteSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate Support the AAPI Civic Engagement Fund: https://aapifund.org/
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The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed
Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it
Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening
What's up, you cool, baby
Precious friendship
I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life
It feels
It's better it's better
It's better it's better
It's better it's better
Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me and advice show for the Roger our brothers for just a minute
I'm your middle-est brother big dog wolf wolf Travis bark bark mackerel
This is griffin Mac the problem travel with your dog thing is that sometimes I feel like just in his set at the
Delicious little plate of food a delicious morsel ahead of us, and then you have to you you are beholden to the dog
Okay, I'm your middle-est brother
No, it's fucking done. I'm griffin mackerel. No, it looks like
busted sprocket
It's you know, there was a moment in time and it has passed. This is my brother my brother means advice show
Where we help people would take your questions and turn them out to me like in the wisdom
We just wrapped up a maximum fun drive if you supported us. Thank you so much for your
Support it means the world what I love about the first post max fun drive episode is I feel like if any episodes are gonna turn
You off like this is it for me. It's those so now we're just talking to the fucking die-hard. Oh, yeah
Yeah, we've shaken away the wheat and it's all chef all the way down
Chap is this is where the wheat and that audience is the
Oh, there's no way
Remember who's hosting this show? That's me with my co-hosts griffin and trust cool energy bad boys of radio
Yeah, it's awesome. We did a lot of hard work those last two weeks trying to
You sort of
Lean upon the kindness of our listenership to support us
Fidgety little Lee speaking and then you know the last three minutes
You've really opened it up and let a huge do me fall right and Peterson ripping off the bass to find out that I was a real
Creep is the way
Nothing but disdain inside these Ricky Ricky boats. Hey guys, sorry. I'm late to the recording
What did I miss so far like what energy are we bringing to the podcast this week?
Yeah, well
You tell me
Are we doing like enthusiasm and gratitude and that was last time now?
We heard on I'm on a juice cleanse of enthusiasm. I don't think juice cleanses are supposed to like
Make the decency come spraying out of your body. Yeah, I don't my friend. I'll think you've ever done a juice
It ain't a mood lifter. Yes, my friend. Yes
The juice cleans isn't like to get all the juice out of your body, right?
Like I got cleans all this juice out of here
That's what I call it every morning when I squeeze my oranges. Hey, let's talk about squeezing oranges for juice
Just talking about this the other day we I've had we had some
Some oranges from a recipe. I didn't end up making a sick meat stuff. Yeah, and I was like
I think I'm gonna treat my wife for Mother's Day. Yeah to a nice
What's the thing with the champagne and the mimosa a mimosa, right?
I'm like, oh my dear nothing, but the best for you fresh squeeze orange juice flash forward
I got 60s motherfuckers littered in the counter. I'm up to maybe a half cup. Yeah, where are we getting all this?
From people the return on investment the ROI of fresh squeeze orange juice is oh very low. It's ridiculous
I mean we're using some kind of utensil Jamie. I was gonna be my question. Yeah, I mean, I'm using a juicer
No, no, no listen guys
There's a reason God made our armpits perfectly orange shaped and it's because he wanted us to use that to perfectly
Just you plop of any any size orange really any size orange. It's perfectly a little baby clementine one of those little halo guys
Or it's just a big you could grapefruit it even depending on your so you just the size of a boy
Here's the problem Griffin. I've tried that. Yeah, but when I do it and maybe there's something wrong with me
But when I do it my whole body concaves around the orange. I lifted my arm the orange is still
Yeah, your armpit ate it like a Pac-Man did yeah, is that weird it's not great
But I guess any way you can get vitamins in your system is good
Throw the whole orange into a food processor. Okay
Grind it all up all of it. Yeah, the whole ride at all a ride at all. And then I just eat that with one raw egg
Hold one whole egg like a viper
Why can't you just cook the egg?
Huh, I guess time I guess Rocky's really lazy or really busy. I suppose
The peel is like the bones of the orange
Wow
Damn
No, no no no no the peel is the bones of the orange. I'm gonna hit you with this
I'm gonna you're thinking it's the skin, right? Yeah
There's a lot of things in orange that could pass for skin
And I don't feel like anything else even comes close to both
But it's the outside the seeds of the bones, you know, it's exoskeleton
You know, it's seeds are the eyes that we have a whole fucking word for it
So rare. Yeah, is the phenomenon that it is identified as an exoskeleton
But it is common enough though. We do have nomenclature and it is exoskeleton. I
I've peeled up an orange from my lab to eat
And he I put it on his plate and he picked it up and he said what's this stuff in that tone of voice
What's this stuff? And he pointed at it and he pointed the sort of white
Webbing the veins of it and he said what is this this looks gross and I was like, oh, well, that's just the
That's just the
That's just the I didn't know what to tell him inside skin the inside the it's not he was like can I eat this and I was like
I don't know like I've been doing it my whole life
And I don't know if you're supposed to do it or if I've been doing a bad job with it
That stuff is kind of like the central nervous system of the orange if we're still breaking it down in comparison to the human body
Yeah, the little the little strands that happen like as you break it apart the little segments, which are like the muscles
Yeah, it's like the central nervous and that's how that's how the orange feels
My I had a I had a I had a glass of grapefruit juice. Yeah, it's more about fruit
Let's keep talking about fruit juice. I had a glass of grapefruit juice. I got a bottle of this stuff not where we read
I'm talking about like original
Gj. Oh
That's people call it the bitter bad stuff that I was drinking for my health. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Punishment juice my wife
Who's a physician? What I'm drinking. Yeah, I'm drinking this juice and she's like be careful cuz
Grapefruit juice can mess with your antidepressants and I was thinking it about it. It's like
damn grapefruit
It's not bad enough that you taste like you do I already feel not great
Then you're gonna get into my brain and fuck with my pills. Really? You have to taste a bit better
Then you do. Yeah, you're gonna fuck with my brain shit
Grapefruit's the one that can also mess with birth control, right?
Whatever
Nature's in here's all the signals that this is not for you
Stop it. Don't do it. I think it's like sour patch kids
Destroyed the antidepressants in my bloodstream
I would have to there would be a reckoning there that I would have it would take us some real soul searching with grapefruit easy pass
easy
No, thank you. I don't need this anymore. This isn't a good blend
I think if fried chicken canceled out my antidepressants
I think there would just be a day that I just call like Travis's sad day
Yeah, I get to eat a bunch of fried chicken
I don't know but this is a thing right?
At least that you'd be like, huh. It was pretty cool earlier when I was eating
This depressive episode right on the floor staring at the ceiling what and what all means all I can think is like the back of my
Thread tastes like bar from the
That I had and nothing is good
It's all bad all the way down
They don't give you much to hang your hat on with the great no
Except for the growth of it the size of it you could hang a hat on it
It's rare that there is a vegetable or fruit either one. Well, that's free where nature said yeah
You can eat this but minus it just setting it on fire first perhaps if you set it on fire first it would taste better
That's reserved for like meat
Yeah, that's reserved for like whole grain fruit is better when you set it on fire
Yeah, you toast a grapefruit take a little blowtorch to it. You put a little salt on there
We never listen to nature though. You look at a you look at a that's so would you say that again? That sounded so
The first time we saw a coconut
What's up? This thing is hard as fuck and it's covered in hair and we're like, I think I'm gonna have me some
Gonna get in there somebody grab one of those hard nuts those hard hairy nuts off the ground
They're like, I'll drink this and the person with them was like you'll
Yeah, no, no, no whatever is in it
I'm gonna do it and then I'm gonna pretend like it's good for me and selling a little cardboard bottles
Yeah, I've tried to drink every nut on this fucking island. It hasn't landed yet
I am gonna drink this one guys this huge hearing one is gonna be the one I drink that person's having a wild day
They walked up to like a banana and they're like, I'll sing to this and did it and nothing
That wasn't it. I'll drink this nut. I'm gonna argue with this potato
Not that either no, no, so this is an advice show. Yeah advice stay away from fruit. Yep. Yeah
So so so thank but but thank you for joining us. Thank you for your support in the maximum fun drive
I'm sure it went swimming like we really do appreciate you
I feel bad any time we even goof about not being grateful. We're we're so deeply grateful
We've done this so many times and y'all have been so supportive of us and
Just just but thank you. Thank you all and here's to another year of us
Just doing that good stuff that you crave like 12 minutes about how gross grapefruits are. It's not about
It's not that
Okay, they're also vindictive. I think that's what Justin say is the grapefruit is both gross and punishing us for eating it
Yeah, I just feel like and don't hey guys. I listen. I'm gonna cut you off right here. Delete the tweet taste is subjective
I'm so glad you like grapefruit. That's wonderful. I'm happy to hear it good for you
Please don't tweet at me about how good grapefruit is good. I don't need it. You can tweet at Griffin. He doesn't check Twitter
Yeah, tell me all your fruit thoughts
Tell me all your thoughts on fruit a co-worker of mine recently expressed interest in trying sourdough recipes
So I said I would bring her some of my extra starter to use
I put some starter in a really cute jarter and let her know that I put it in the break room fridge for her
She seemed really excited and she said she would take it home with her that day
But here's the thing. It's been a week and the jar of starter is still in the fridge and here's the other thing
It's a really really cute jar the kind that is the perfect travel size for salad dressings and other condiments
The one this jar back do I awkwardly nudge my co-worker to use my starter so I so lovingly prepared or at what point can I take my sourdough and more importantly my jar
Back home. That's from sour in Southern, California
We made a sourdough starter in some home at class in like high school
I think maybe and they made us do that shit in a ziplock bag like we were making like we were making prison sourdough
That's not this is an adorable jar and the fact that it is not being utilized like this is
A fucking crime
I'm angry sourdough. That's a living thing right there. Why yes
And you brought a sourdough starter strap. What's that for? What?
What's the deal with the sourdough starter is what cultivates wild yeast so you can use that in your bread in place of like dried yeast
Mmm
And because it is cultivated in such a way that it then will give the bread the flavor the sour flavor that we associate with sourdough
And so each
starter is different
Because you know it grows and changes over time as the east
Consumes the food and you keep feeding it and you take care of it like a pet
Right, and this would be like if someone asked me to cut my dog in half so they could share some of my dog
And I did that and I brought half a dog into work
And then they just left that half a dog there and didn't take it home to feed it
And you put your dog half in a really cute, you know box such a cute jar
Um
Is it I wonder if this person always planned to get the jar back
100 or if this is a recent slight that has prompted the thought of like maybe they don't deserve the jar
Oh, this is good. Yeah, I you know a good fixture. This is just come come friday five o'clock everybody's punching out
And the jar's still there. I think you go grab that jar you'll unscrew the lid pop it off
Go up to your co-worker take out their extended hands and just dump
The gooey mess right into their open palms and then you take the jar and say that you now we both got what we need
What if what if 2021 maybe part of big dog run?
Now what's that big dog run? Yeah, that's our year. That's our year Griffin
Perhaps the the part of big dog run right is when you have these impulse like I did this thing
And they didn't do it like like you're having now, right? I brought it in it sat there for a week. They didn't take it
You just take it home
Right. Hmm. You don't get it. Yeah, they're not gonna ask about it. Hey, where was that sourdough starter that you put in the cute jar
Now let's sit there and die
Die on the vine for one whole entire week
It's taking up space in your mind
It's got like it's taking up a whole corner of your brain right now that it does not need to be taking up
Declutter your brain. Just do the damn thing and take your fucking cute jar back my friend
Yes, you have my full permission to do that. You have done nothing wrong
Except to care too much you care way too much
Is it possible that they don't know what a sourdough starter is and so you say
And you say I left you sourdough starter in the fridge and they said awesome
And they raced to the fridge and they threw it open and they saw a few things in there
They saw well that yellow curvy friend is a banana. I know him
That is a sandwich
Which is bread adjacent
But that seems like a bread finisher and not a starter
We have what I'm I believe may be a cup of miso soup
And there is a half drinking diet Coca-Cola
There's a jar with some sort of blob in it that doesn't look particularly appetizing so that can't possibly be it
And a and a cold baby Ruth who freezes their baby Ruth?
They see all this stuff. They don't know
They don't want to walk out with with the
Half canada diet coke and be like is this sourdough starter and seem like a real dipshit
And be the office dipshit all of a sudden you can't leave me hanging Griffin. Who did freeze their baby Ruth?
Oh, it was Mike
Mike
Classic Mike ever since he got promoted to night manager. He thinks he could freeze whatever he wants
I think the weirdest part it's half a baby Ruth
So it's like did he freeze it at some point and then eat half and then put it back in the freezer?
Sorry, no, he boils hot the other half and he squishes them together back to make one normal
Baby Ruth and that's how he feels. Yeah
Do you guys want to a um
Do you guys want a um a quora?
Oh
Sorry, what do you guys want a yahoo, but it's not from yahoo. It's from the website quora
I thought for a second you were about to ask if we wanted a quibi
Do you guys want to I would actually I would maybe would go down so fucking smooth right now
But no i'm gonna ask about do you want to
I'm I i'm out here on the edge. I'm just a man on the edge out in the rain
Asking his two brothers if they wanted a quora you have been okay. I know a take to people inside
You know what i'm gonna say you've been in fucking skunk works r and
Scenes for weeks now you've had months to prepare
And you'd be like i'm still looking for the next big thing and what you come to us with is off brand y'all
And and you didn't even rebrand your question like do you want a quora does it that's not right?
You know that doesn't sound right
Do you want a dr. Pop
Do you guys want a sam's club yahoo
Here's the thing about here's the thing about quora, okay
Let me tell you because this this this is in many ways better than the avatar. Yeah, this uh, this has
Open my eyes this one particular quora that was uh sent into us. Hold on. I will get this this information
Who sent this into us? I'm just gonna
Type in our gmail bar quora urinal and that's from nicky sent this in thank you nicky for this flagship
Quora thing about quora. I didn't realize is that they called the yahoo answers website yahoo answers
But very rarely were answers provided on yahoo answers. The question was the star of the show, right?
Here is a quora
I guess is what they I don't know if they call them quoras or not
This is the question that was posted on quora
When you spit in the urinal and there's a string of saliva. Do the bacteria have time to go inside your mouth?
So you read that and if that was yahoo answers
The very next one would be first of all a wild 12 paragraph
Screed about how electricity has the devil in it
And that the only way to save yourself is to pray to some saint or whatever, right?
Then the next one would be like shut up idiot. That's not how quora does it how quora does it is that they have
Anup sinha who taught microbiology to medical undergrads for over 10 years
That's what his profile says
And he provides
an extensive answer
And to me that is the joy of quora and I'd love to read some of it if I can
Yes
Sure
To remind you the question is when you spit in the urinal and there's a string of saliva
Do the bacteria have time to go in your mouth?
Anup sinha says
Vibrio is one of the fastest bacteria around if not the fastest if you live
If you see live vibrio under a microscope
They seem to zip around like barry allen navigating through central city and then there's a badass picture of the flash
So already we got micro multimedia on this website. We've got all kinds of great stuff
And how fast is this bacteria move 75 micrometers per second?
Uh, is it that fast or slow? That's pretty fast
And the the macraw hill encyclopedia of science and technology sites at 200 micrometers per second. That's pretty fast. Yeah
And then it's an organism that's barely two micrometers in length. That's incredible speed
That'd be like if we ran 75 to 200 meters per second or 447 miles an hour
That's a fast little germ, huh?
Yeah, so griffin, uh, I had to ask where's the funny part
Well, how quickly can this organism traverse through a string of saliva bridging your mouth in the urinal?
Well, let's assume the length of the salivary bridge is 50 centimeters
That seems like a reasonable estimate considering the average heart height of the adult male in placement of the average urinal
I'm not being sexist here. I just think it is logical to assume that urinals are mostly used by people who pee standing up
And then there's a picture of a bridge
Okay, 50 centimeters is 500,000 micrometers. That's a long bridge
And so to to go
500,000 micrometers moving at 200 micrometers a second that would take 2,500 seconds
so
if you stood still
with your spit dangling out of your mouth
into the urinal
I like hearing that all of these words so far for 42 uninterrupted minutes
That little nasty germ could maybe make it up there
And you're but you would have to maintain the salivary bridge for 42 minutes and the bacteria would have to move at top speed
And I don't know how long every other thing keep it up
The problem I the problem I have with this is like
Even if you did it if I'm a bacteria and I see someone spit in the toilet
I want to be like a you see a young buck who's like I'm going for it
And every other bacteria is like I've seen so many dudes fucking try. You're never trust no way
They're gonna there's they will not maintain that salivary bridge. No chance bud
I mean by the time you get to five minutes, which is definitely a world record
I think that is the first moment where the bacteria would be like, you know what?
I think we were all gonna fucking go for this guys. This may be the one we've always wanted to try this stuff
But but my dad is too late Joseph. They'd have to go right away, right?
It would have to be as soon as it like boom there
Yeah off off to the races
Yeah, the bacteria would have to be sort of poised on the edge of the urinal waiting for your your not your piss
Your spit. Hey, if I see you standing over urinal with a dangly dangle of spit hanging out of your mouth for almost
Let's round it up to an hour. Let's round it up. Let's say an episode of television sans commercials
Um, I'm gonna say to something to somebody
I'll find a teacher or an adult and I will get them to
I don't know put you in trouble somehow because you shouldn't be you definitely shouldn't be doing that or
Or because at that point I think I might be impressed by the focus because I think you would see this that you'd walk in
Hey, oh
And then there would be an amount of time that you would definitely be frozen in place watching this happen
Right what where you think like I need to go tell some of what is happening. I need to do something
and I think in that time
The curiosity would overtake you and you keep thinking well, I do want to go get someone
But I also want to see how long they can dangle this big lugious spit into the urinal
Now this is getting a little gross
So I just want to say that there are also bad answers on here
Like somebody's saying, uh, what bacteria under normal conditions human urine is sterile
In a pinch you can even use it to clean a wound. So they're saying like there's no germs in a toilet in which case
Stop fucking stop it. Of course there is I'm so sick of people saying that you can pee on a jellyfish sting
So you may as well drink toilet water. Stop it. That's not what that means even a little bit at all
somebody did question the the um, dr. Anup sent us
Answer here and they did say wouldn't the bacteria have a shorter route going up your penis
And then chris wilson who has nothing to do with anybody comes in and he's like
It would have to overcome the speed of the stream and urine streams are not continuous
If you were to watch it in slow motion, it's broken up into drops
It would be like trying to run up a treadmill going the same speed as a fighter jet
Not nearly as scientific. I could do that
You could do that. First of all, you would have to keep this pee stream going
for 42 minutes
Yeah, I know I can do that
I can do that. I've been practicing. I only pee once every four days. Yeah
Oh, it's wicked uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong. But uh, it's how I do it
And I've been able to perfect and it just comes out one set is steady. There's no arc to it. Yeah
It's like a lightsaber pretty wild
Steady for 42 minutes. Yeah, that's a good way to do it. Yeah
It doesn't save a lot of time
I've been keeping track of how much time I save
Is I haven't figured out how to utilize it at all either. I don't know why I've been doing this and my doctor's really worried
I'm just saying that's what core does
That's how core that's core and it's a little they have that they have what we like to call a joke killer
Right at the beginning where some fucking poindexter
Hops up all on your biz and it's like actually I have a good answer
But what's great is then you get a bunch of that's how it exactly like doofen schmerz. Justin
Yeah, that was wild. Didn't know I had a different schmerz in me. Here it is
What I love though is that then you get a bunch of hop-ons from people who get on the answer and they're like
That's really smart. Here's what I think when you suck some of this middle back up into your mouth
And it's like stop it. The good doctor already answered this one
You don't have to try and put some extra doctor juice on it. Yeah, but at that point Griffin core sounds a lot like twitter
How about a question?
My girlfriend recently tagged along while I went grocery shopping
When we passed by the cheese aisle she stopped surprised and said hold on a sec
You're not gonna buy yourself any cheese
I didn't really think of anything of it until my sister came to visit the next day and opened my fridge
She get a drink. She laughed herself and said, oh
I see you have a few cheese blocks in here. I know how much you love your cheese
The thing is
I do love cheese
But I don't think I like it any more than the average person
And I have no idea what I did to earn this reputation
Brothers, how do I shake this and assert myself as an average cheese loving joe? That's from elizabeth and maryland
Elizabeth let's first take one stop. Let's step back a little bit elizabeth
I want to talk about your sister
Your sister opened the fridge and set out loud and I hope to god you are quoting them like exactly or else. It's liable
Oh, I see you have a few cheese blocks in here
I know how much you love your cheese. That's a really old observation elizabeth's sister
It's a lot a lot Justin. I would imagine that that was not quite the delivery
I would think it would make a lot probably sounded a bit more human but for sure
But like I think it would go like this
Oh
Is that like a little something like this? Oh
I see you have a few cheese blocks in here. I know how much you love your cheese
Yeah, that didn't sound more natural shrap. I don't know
From what Justin did, but it was nearly identical to my ears
Here's the thing I'm starting to suspect just hearing Justin say it out loud and then me say it out loud in a better way
Then perhaps
Your girlfriend and your sister
Have have been in contact with one another like hey, do we want to do a thing with cheese?
Because I also don't know how I feel about your girlfriend saying hold on a sec
You're not going to buy yourself any cheese. Like yeah, like it's a special occasion that one might do on their birthday
You're not gonna have cake
No, the only the only reason that somebody should be allowed to say that to you at a grocery store
With a like shock in their voice should be if your name is dr. Cheese
and you
Sell cheese on the internet that you buy at the grocery store and it's a weird business that doesn't make any sense, but
You're not getting cheap
I feel like if you have blocks of cheese in your fridge, you like cheese more than the avoridge bear
Okay, that's what are you based at? What are you basing that on though that a normal a normal person doesn't have just blocks of
Of cheese I do
Yeah, I do you have blocks of what do you do with them?
I slice them off and I fucking eat them. Yeah different cheese for different modes, you know, just you don't like raw cheese
No, no, no, no, she's just just and you don't like raw cheese
My wife can get nasty all she wants. I don't hold her back
Okay, she's a strong beautiful bisexual woman. I let her live her own life
And if that includes eating cheese, okay, then fucking god bless unmelted justin
Doesn't hurt. Do you have to leave the room or yeah, I excuse myself to our second home
Excuse myself to our rear home where there is the dairy which is a cheese-free
Your panic room
Yeah, that's another way of that's all sort of less extravagant way of putting it but yes my cheese-free panic room
Sometimes she you know what on my birthday she goes to the panic room to eat the cheese. Wow. That's not I appreciate
She lets me have free reign
Yeah, she you see her reaching the fridge and pull out a big block of gouda
And you're like any chance you're about to melt those on some nachos. Nope. I'm out of here
No, thank you. Goodbye
Uh, let's uh, let's take a quick uh break wait. Yeah, have we answered this to its fullest extent at all?
No, I don't think there's an answer for I think we just say sorry that you were put in that position
Just sorry, you know, it's nice to have a
Fucking, you know, there are worse things you could be associated with worse stuff
And if you will know you love cheese it makes Christmas a lot easier. Yeah, nothing like getting some boxes of room temperature cheddar
I'm really sorry by the way if your friends and family are all huge mabimbam heads and they're gonna start calling you dr. Cheese
Yeah, that one's just too catchy
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you know
Here we are post max fun drive and
I've been thinking about what to do with the sport and I'm thinking I'm gonna hire myself a bodyguard
Okay, I've seen them in movies
The same really cool and they seem like you know, it's nice to have the protection
But also you could become friends with them like in first kid, but the question is
That's the dream. That's the dream. How would I even go about hiring someone for something like that?
Yeah, I don't know. I did the last ad. I think you go to bodyguard the bodyguard store
And I can't possibly be a business. Well, you know, I could try zippercruder
Oh, okay
Yeah, because zippercruder knows the general experience of looking for a job is pretty sucky
That's why they figured out how to make it unsucky. Okay
So if you're a bodyguard and you're looking for a job, good news
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One time I got on craigslist. I found a drill bit taylor on there
But it ended up being a novel teorotic dancer who just based on drill bit taylor
Oh
Sexy. How are they? Yeah, that's really good
We have wasted this world
Our magic put a storm in the sky that has rendered the surface of our planet uninhabitable
But beneath the surface. Well, that's another story entirely
In a city built leagues below the apocalypse
Survivors of the storm forge paths through a strange new world
Some seek salvation for their homeland above
Others seek to chart the vast undersea expanse outside the city's walls
And others still seek what else?
Fortune and glory
Dive into the aether sea the latest campaign from the adventure zone every other thursday on maximumfund.org
Or wherever you listen to podcasts
It's almost getting I feel like it's getting too predictable at this point
I do you mean in that you've done it every episode for the last 50 song
I need to sunset this bed. Well, you can't say you actually can't say we made promises
I
Want a month squad
You could start doing it at different times in the podcast instead of right after
I need this though because it helps me cut
You know what I mean? This is like a I can't puts me on its back and it helps me carry me through
What do you want from me?
Pilot I just this isn't funny. I just want to let you know how desperate things things have gotten in this in the chicken sandwich whores
I just wanted to update everybody
pilot
flying j
Is getting into the fucking the gas station chain the gas station chain for truckers flying j
Is getting into you're entering the chicken sandwich game gearing up for increased summer travel by introducing several new innovative food options
They're gonna surprise and delight our guests says a person that works at flying j our awesome menu
Including our newest southern and spicy chicken sandwiches make pilot flying j the ultimate stop to fill up a great food
Here's the reason you go to eat at a flying j because you get off at
An exit and the windy says 0.5 miles and you're like, ah, fuck it
That's too far. I'll probably get lost. I'm going to fly j you're not lured in by a menu item
But that's not what we're here to talk about today
Um pepsi has created peps place wait a fast bad say that one. Say it again. Say it again slower
pepsi creates peps place
Pepsi creates peps place just he's stop stop
I need you to keep saying those three words over and over to me again until I fall asleep
Can you say him gently like ASMR him and then I'll get a quick little bit of sleep
pepsi
Pepsi creates pepsi creates peps place
peps peps place pepsi creates peps place epi apostrophe s place
PEP apostrophe eps
pep eps
Do you guys do you guys
Do you guys know
Do you guys know the original name of pepsi?
I just think it's fun. We talked about it on saw bones once the original name of pepsi is
brad's drink
But I bet they're kicking themselves now because brad's place is a better name. Yeah 1890. Yeah, if it was called brad's drink still
God, it's so funny brad's drink. Hey, who made this? I'm renaming it to pepsi
Me I made it. My name's brad. It's my drink. Okay. So pep pep pep pep
pepsi creates peps place a fast beverage restaurant
I think you said bad
Bad fridge, which is also strong
This one is like among the more orwellium
Encountered in the segment
Few things are more agreed upon than our collective
unabologetic love of food
cheesy
juicy
Ah
Here's different ways food could be taken from us pepsi. Trust us. We know about foods
So it's um
So many of our favorite eats are enhanced with pair with an ice cold pepsi cola
To reinforce this the pepsi brand is upending
What we expect of the food delivery world with today's launch of peps place
Where the cola comes first? Oh
This inventive fast beverage restaurant turns the traditional ordering process on its head. Okay. Consumers are invited to first
Pick their pepsi beverage of choice. Do they have coke products?
I assume they don't
They don't okay, which then prompts curated food items based on that
The fuck out to enhance the overall meal experience peps place
Opens today and select locations around the country
For delivery only through peps place restaurant.com and major food aggregators like uh,
Well, none of them paid to be mentioned on this episode. So I won't so what you're saying is the process is
I would get on peps place.com and pick pepsi
I guess pepsi and it would be like based on the fact that you ordered a pepsi
Here's some food. Hey, there's no reason for you to get ahead of me, but I'll walk you through the entire process
Come with me. Thank you here. Let me hit you with my shrink grandkids in my pocket. We're going to peps place
You're looking for a bold cola profile and lemony citrus notes of pepsi zero sugar
Well, that pairs gracefully with our crisp and tangy season chicken Caesar salad
Craving a tropical splash of pepsi mango the fruity and floral notes compliment the perfect blend of my own chilies
Found in our buffaloing sauce. Here's how you order
First step one you select from a bevy of pepsi beverages and then it lists
I shit you not nine of them pepsi diet pepsi pepsi zero sugar pepsi real sugar pepsi wild cherry pepsi zero sugar
Wild cherry pepsi mango and pepsi mango flavor sugar plate flavor diet pepsi pepsi
pepsi mango cherry mango mango soda pepsi soda
There's quiet dept. Yeah, right dept. He's sweet sweet cold pepsi and pepsi. Patrick Dempsey
There's Dempsey's and peepsies and puppies and chocolate chocolate cherry mango mango sugar zero
Choose from and then you'll choose from a menu curated from with mouthwatering food pairings from your cola choice
And then it lists food
Cheeseburgers buffalo wings Cajun chicken sandwiches you get the idea chicken sandwich wars raging on even at pep pep pep pep pep pep pep
peps place
Then you fill out the meal with delectable sides including mac and cheese broccoli and lays chips. Huh, all right
He's
Pepp's place will be opened every day for the next 30 days
I
This is can I I rarely do this because I want I always want it to be a special surprise
But I did load up the menu and I I do
I am confused about
If I do you have access to peps place and awesome
No, there's one in el paso, which I'm pretty sure the pepsi would have gone quite flat by the time it reached my house from el paso
but like
you can get
Any it doesn't suggest a food. I they have six items and then they have
nine pepsis
And no matter which pepsi you choose you can get one of the six. I want it to be restrictive
Like I want it to be like I would like the pepsi mango zero sugar
with the louisiana style chicken sandwich and have the website be like
No, because those two don't go together
You can't have that. I mean, I know it seems like a small complaint
But like it is the entire point of the entire fucking thing. It's like if that doesn't right
um
Now this press release didn't tell me about this but I
Started thinking about it and like there is no way that pepsi is springing up
um
Like restaurants, right? No, because they're pepsi
Right, so I because you've you've seen this uh phenomenon on like, uh, uh all the the different food delivery apps
I don't know if you guys have seen these all of a sudden a restaurant opens up
And you're like, well, I've never heard of of this place and it's like well, that's because it's just yeah
Oh, yeah, it's just chilies pretending to be a ghost restaurant
Yeah, ghost restaurant, right? We've discussed this this subject. So I was like, this can't this can't be
just like me
So if you guys heard of a chain called famous daves, yeah, yeah
Okay, wait, wait, you say famous daves or did you say peps place?
My internet broke up and it's the distinction is basically
Is is what I'm saying is it is a um
Um
There's no distinction peps place is a flat circle
peps place is a different way to order from famous days, which would have been a better
Headline for
But famous daves has a way bigger menu than peps place
This is well, yeah, but peps place is a smaller restaurant that is in the corner of famous daves is what we're
Supposed to imagine they don't mention by the way in the press release
They do not say this is the food from famous. Yeah, that's how that's how famous dave is they won't even give him a shout out
No, no, no, it's from peps place a real restaurant
Hey, tell me what you think of this idea boys business idea because you guys love this shit
You watch shark tank and all that shit
I'll go buy an aquarium and I'm gonna fill it with country time lemonade powder
And I'm gonna put a hose in there and make that good yellow drink
And then I'm gonna throw that in the trunk of my car
Which I will then crash into the foyer of a burger king and then open the trunk and hang a sign out
This says griffin's place and then you can come there and get this lemonade forward experience at griffin's place
Catered by the burger king that I crashed my car into okay. Here's my question. I'm looking at two different menus
peps place is offering a brownie dessert
If I
Shouldn't have that it is very clearly a brownie dessert. They are under dessert
There's one option and it looks like a brownie with some whipped cream on top of it
if I
Order from that pest place and I call them
And I say I would like the apple the apple crisp and they're like that's not on the menu you call famous daves and say hi
I'm recalling for peps place. They will think you are an absolute maniac
There is no way they will know about this. I'm just saying if peps place is at famous daves
And famous daves has peach cobbler and apple crisp and a daves award-winning bread pudding
I'm looking at the menu now in el paso. I should be able to get those things from peps place
Why is peps place limiting the things I can order when I know they have access if you eat peach cobbler with peps
You'll fuck you'll die. You'll fucking die dude. I wish I said that on the peps place menu like we know that
This isn't the only food on earth, but it is the only food you can eat safely with peps
We're going to restrict you're not ready for the entire famous daves menu. You can't handle it
A lot of people talk about diacocomintose. It makes a big explosion. A lot of people talk about
peps does that with most foods
For years, we've known that pepsi is the perfect complement to a variety of foods
But even though consumers know that food tastes better with pepsi
That's how I talk when I'm saying all caps better with pepsi
They often still forget to order a beverage with their favorite meals says Todd Kaplan
Vice president of marketing of pepsi inventing an absolute fucking fabrication. That doesn't happen
for the for the convenience of his absolute
Unhinged ghost restaurant with the launch of peps place. We've designed a new fast beverage restaurant
delivery concept that features a menu and experience literally built around the idea
Of what foods go best with pepsi allowing consumers at home to fully optimize their meals
We are confident that by doing this everyone will agree and taste firsthand
How well pepsi goes with their favorite foods. Cool. Uh, so that's the news
Um for for this week. Cool
Um, we can blast back to the past with the final yahoo
Yeah, let's take a trip back. I need a name for this segment also. I'm so couldn't even be troubled to come up with the name
of this segment griff. Wow. Well, all right
Yeah, you know what never mind
We do have more show so you do have to say something so this final yahoo is from episode five and um
Yeah, so it's a very old one and the archive.org of yahoo has been
Really fucking up today, which is a shame. I think the wayback machine is not putting a lot of their juice behind keeping the yahoo
Answer service in its uh in its heart. Okay. No, but matt
Matt asked this and asked back in episode five so many years ago
Can you take parakeets in the shower with you?
Hey, I'm thinking of getting a parakeet and I was wondering if it's possible to take them in the shower with you by using
Some kind of special purge. Thanks. See you don't get those extra details in the final yahoo
Because I just get I get in there with the way and bam. Thank you, ma'am. I get you with a good joke
Here's whoa
Um, we don't know much about birds or bird uh biology. You don't oh, okay
Yeah, go ahead. No, I don't either. Okay
Yeah, I mean, there's water birds. I've seen penguins swim and uh flamingo stand in the water
I don't know if they like to actually get down in it ducks
It rains outside, right? It rains outside and that's where birds usually do except for parakeets aren't really outside
They live in the junk. Wait, I mean they were originally outside. Were they just
You have no way of proving that
Because here's the thing think about Justin think about this because this is what just happened to me, right?
I thought well parakeets must originally come from the jungle. They're brightly covered bird colored bird, right like
I can picture a parrot in the jungle
Right, but when I try to picture like a parakeet in the wild
My brain won't do it and I and also not to keep poking holes in this thing
But I'm trying to imagine a wet parrot and I just can't get there guys. I bet it looks weird
I yeah, I bet it's not a happy camper for sure
I just assume most birds if they get the least bit wet they die instantly
Because they can't fly anymore because of the extra weight
um, I think for this new um
For this new segment what I love is the idea of actually trying to get some answers here
So I want to take you guys inside with uh, the nest
Uh, and the their article how to bathe parakeet. Okay. Now step one is
Spritz your parakeet gently with lukewarm water from a spray well, that's how I shower
These stars have aligned quite perfectly so far
Why isn't step one prepare your parakeet mentally for what's about to happen?
Yeah, yeah, just absolutely not
Just just eat a bunch of water onto your body out of fucking nowhere. What the fuck was that?
Well, I mean step one should be buy or hatch a parakeet. Yeah
Right. I can't wonder into this article fucking parakeetless and just lost from the jump
If the if it likes it, um, how to and how she enjoys this she will hold her wings away from her body and ruffle her feathers
She may also make
A budgie play face at you by gaping her beak and trying to drink the water
Except for very specific. Sure. We can't do that now. What kind of spray bottle we're talking here. What's the max pressure?
I want what kind of psi are we doing? No, you'll want to actually absolutely just blaze your parakeet. You want to blow it
We can blow it off the perch, but here's the thing, right? If it if it likes it
You can go for you could jump to step three
And step three right here is the shower method where it says I shit you not
Bring your parakeet into the bathtub or shower with you
Spray her gently with the handheld shower nozzle and lukewarm or mildly warm water
This option is for parakeets that love water and absolutely adore the spray bottle
It adds extra excitement for your pet and turns bath time into a social event with her favorite person
Hey, Justin, does it specify whether or not I can wear my swim trunks?
Out will the parakeet see it and be I don't want the parakeet to see me naked
Even worse though is if it does attack it and I have to fight it off in a sort of panic response
You get the question so you die. What do I grow one of those?
Like I just don't want to have to just and I don't want to have to go to the doctor
And when the doctor's like what happened to your penis? I don't want to be like well my parakeet panicked
And it attacked right so I'm thinking maybe like I could wear my swim trunks
And I'm gonna protect I want to protect my nipples too if I'm being honest. I was having a non-sexual bath
with my parrot
Keat
Parrot Keat
His names my parrot keep parrot Pete is his name. Yeah
My parrot keeps name parrot isn't there with my parrot my parrot keep parrot Pete my parrot parrot Keith
And it was on the parrot pet and I got got a shower going and it went right for it and gosh darn it
I should have seen it coming. This is your third visit this week. Yeah, doc. I got a lot of pretty bad
A lot of birds got even more showers. How's the but how's the parakeet? Oh dead
Yeah, no he attacked my wiener in the shower and that's a private place and you understand
It's all in yeah, it was all in
Right now. I didn't want to but I had to it's survival. I just caveman shit doc. I mean back our old ancestors
wasn't it between friends
Hey, that's so cool. Hey everybody don't we have the coolest veterinarian in town and everybody's like
No questions. Yes, this guy never knocks
It doesn't matter how many birds you kill this guy's a fucking so cool
God you're a cool man. Thank you. I'm gonna go smoke some weed
It reminds me. These parakeets are the one that talks. Uh, no, I don't think so been fucking fine, baby
This guy he either tells me it's okay that I killed my birds or tries to buy him off of me at less than market rates
What a cool vet you are
That's the coolest man. He keeps saying he says so much funny shit like I'm not a vet and things like that
I hope he dates my mom
Oh my god. Yeah, Justin. Do you guys want to something absolutely wild?
This is unrelated before we close the show
As we are have been sitting here in the past seven minutes
I got a notification that roku is going to be launching original programming fueled by
quibi quibi's content
That's right
They're in the and we would demand quibi
And quibi's there for us. Um some good stuff ron had a show
We need to call ron make sure ron knows about ron good. I'm sure ron probably ron probably knows
Um, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. My brother. My brother made this this one
Um, and thank you again. We we judge about it, but thank you so much for your support in the drive
Uh, it it means the world to us. Um, we got a lot of cool merch for you
If you head on over to mackleroymerch.com our pen of the month is the tub pumpkin
Which proceeds from that pen are going to the equal justice initiative
Which is committed to ending mass incarceration and excessive punishment in the united states
To challenging racial and economic injustice and to protecting basic human rights from those vulnerable people in american society
That's at mackleroymerch.com. Um, you can pre-order that
All right
Now we also have a save the new Appalachian workshop sticker
Uh-huh stupid hammer griffin on there
What a delight and uh, some of that proceeds from that will go to habitat for humanity of the tri-state
So you'll help build homes for people here in huntington west virginia. Um, okay. Thanks to montane for the use of our theme song
Uh, my life is better with you
Uh, great track. Can't wait for that one to drop and uh, so stoked for eurovision can't wait to see
There's the new music video is out for uh, montanes eurovision song technicolor now on
I don't know youtube and um
Hey, we just started a new season of the adventure zone if uh, if that's something that you're interested in it's called ether
See it's an underwater
Adventure and we're playing a world building game called the quiet year in a little uh setup session
That's happening right now. It's a lot of fun. And I think you'll like it a lot
There's probably I think two episodes out by the time you hear this and more comments
So check that totally out too. I don't have a final
This is with my brother my brother make this your dad's
This has been oh no, I dropped so oh here's one. This is the final. Oh, I hold on. No, I just got it to load a refresh
It enough time. You're embarrassing. No, I load it. I refresh it enough times and it's when I send him by dot
And it is asked by yahoo answers user jesson
Who asks I dropped a spaghetti on my grandpa's
But
And he died. How do I do it?
Is it real one guys? I got a torque
You're killing me. You found that one. You're sitting on it. I'm looking
I'm griffin rocker, right? This is with my brother my brother make kiss your dad's screw on the lips
Oh
It's better with you
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