My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 560: Starter in the Jarter

Episode Date: May 17, 2021

We’re gonna hit you with the shrink ray, put you in our pocket, and take you on a journey with us. It’s not going to be a very exciting journey, since you’ll be in a pocket and everything. And w...e’re not sure where we’re going exactly. But it’s a journey.Suggested talking points: ROI On Oranges, My name is Dr Cheese, Pep’eps Place Conspiracy, Tell Me All Your Fruit Thoughts, Yahoo That’s not a Yahoo, Parakeet Parrot PeteSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate Support the AAPI Civic Engagement Fund: https://aapifund.org/

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby Precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better
Starting point is 00:00:53 It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me and advice show for the Roger our brothers for just a minute I'm your middle-est brother big dog wolf wolf Travis bark bark mackerel This is griffin Mac the problem travel with your dog thing is that sometimes I feel like just in his set at the Delicious little plate of food a delicious morsel ahead of us, and then you have to you you are beholden to the dog Okay, I'm your middle-est brother No, it's fucking done. I'm griffin mackerel. No, it looks like
Starting point is 00:01:50 busted sprocket It's you know, there was a moment in time and it has passed. This is my brother my brother means advice show Where we help people would take your questions and turn them out to me like in the wisdom We just wrapped up a maximum fun drive if you supported us. Thank you so much for your Support it means the world what I love about the first post max fun drive episode is I feel like if any episodes are gonna turn You off like this is it for me. It's those so now we're just talking to the fucking die-hard. Oh, yeah Yeah, we've shaken away the wheat and it's all chef all the way down Chap is this is where the wheat and that audience is the
Starting point is 00:02:35 Oh, there's no way Remember who's hosting this show? That's me with my co-hosts griffin and trust cool energy bad boys of radio Yeah, it's awesome. We did a lot of hard work those last two weeks trying to You sort of Lean upon the kindness of our listenership to support us Fidgety little Lee speaking and then you know the last three minutes You've really opened it up and let a huge do me fall right and Peterson ripping off the bass to find out that I was a real Creep is the way
Starting point is 00:03:08 Nothing but disdain inside these Ricky Ricky boats. Hey guys, sorry. I'm late to the recording What did I miss so far like what energy are we bringing to the podcast this week? Yeah, well You tell me Are we doing like enthusiasm and gratitude and that was last time now? We heard on I'm on a juice cleanse of enthusiasm. I don't think juice cleanses are supposed to like Make the decency come spraying out of your body. Yeah, I don't my friend. I'll think you've ever done a juice It ain't a mood lifter. Yes, my friend. Yes
Starting point is 00:03:45 The juice cleans isn't like to get all the juice out of your body, right? Like I got cleans all this juice out of here That's what I call it every morning when I squeeze my oranges. Hey, let's talk about squeezing oranges for juice Just talking about this the other day we I've had we had some Some oranges from a recipe. I didn't end up making a sick meat stuff. Yeah, and I was like I think I'm gonna treat my wife for Mother's Day. Yeah to a nice What's the thing with the champagne and the mimosa a mimosa, right? I'm like, oh my dear nothing, but the best for you fresh squeeze orange juice flash forward
Starting point is 00:04:27 I got 60s motherfuckers littered in the counter. I'm up to maybe a half cup. Yeah, where are we getting all this? From people the return on investment the ROI of fresh squeeze orange juice is oh very low. It's ridiculous I mean we're using some kind of utensil Jamie. I was gonna be my question. Yeah, I mean, I'm using a juicer No, no, no listen guys There's a reason God made our armpits perfectly orange shaped and it's because he wanted us to use that to perfectly Just you plop of any any size orange really any size orange. It's perfectly a little baby clementine one of those little halo guys Or it's just a big you could grapefruit it even depending on your so you just the size of a boy Here's the problem Griffin. I've tried that. Yeah, but when I do it and maybe there's something wrong with me
Starting point is 00:05:19 But when I do it my whole body concaves around the orange. I lifted my arm the orange is still Yeah, your armpit ate it like a Pac-Man did yeah, is that weird it's not great But I guess any way you can get vitamins in your system is good Throw the whole orange into a food processor. Okay Grind it all up all of it. Yeah, the whole ride at all a ride at all. And then I just eat that with one raw egg Hold one whole egg like a viper Why can't you just cook the egg? Huh, I guess time I guess Rocky's really lazy or really busy. I suppose
Starting point is 00:06:03 The peel is like the bones of the orange Wow Damn No, no no no no the peel is the bones of the orange. I'm gonna hit you with this I'm gonna you're thinking it's the skin, right? Yeah There's a lot of things in orange that could pass for skin And I don't feel like anything else even comes close to both But it's the outside the seeds of the bones, you know, it's exoskeleton
Starting point is 00:06:27 You know, it's seeds are the eyes that we have a whole fucking word for it So rare. Yeah, is the phenomenon that it is identified as an exoskeleton But it is common enough though. We do have nomenclature and it is exoskeleton. I I've peeled up an orange from my lab to eat And he I put it on his plate and he picked it up and he said what's this stuff in that tone of voice What's this stuff? And he pointed at it and he pointed the sort of white Webbing the veins of it and he said what is this this looks gross and I was like, oh, well, that's just the That's just the
Starting point is 00:07:08 That's just the I didn't know what to tell him inside skin the inside the it's not he was like can I eat this and I was like I don't know like I've been doing it my whole life And I don't know if you're supposed to do it or if I've been doing a bad job with it That stuff is kind of like the central nervous system of the orange if we're still breaking it down in comparison to the human body Yeah, the little the little strands that happen like as you break it apart the little segments, which are like the muscles Yeah, it's like the central nervous and that's how that's how the orange feels My I had a I had a I had a glass of grapefruit juice. Yeah, it's more about fruit Let's keep talking about fruit juice. I had a glass of grapefruit juice. I got a bottle of this stuff not where we read
Starting point is 00:07:52 I'm talking about like original Gj. Oh That's people call it the bitter bad stuff that I was drinking for my health. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Punishment juice my wife Who's a physician? What I'm drinking. Yeah, I'm drinking this juice and she's like be careful cuz Grapefruit juice can mess with your antidepressants and I was thinking it about it. It's like damn grapefruit It's not bad enough that you taste like you do I already feel not great Then you're gonna get into my brain and fuck with my pills. Really? You have to taste a bit better
Starting point is 00:08:35 Then you do. Yeah, you're gonna fuck with my brain shit Grapefruit's the one that can also mess with birth control, right? Whatever Nature's in here's all the signals that this is not for you Stop it. Don't do it. I think it's like sour patch kids Destroyed the antidepressants in my bloodstream I would have to there would be a reckoning there that I would have it would take us some real soul searching with grapefruit easy pass easy
Starting point is 00:09:06 No, thank you. I don't need this anymore. This isn't a good blend I think if fried chicken canceled out my antidepressants I think there would just be a day that I just call like Travis's sad day Yeah, I get to eat a bunch of fried chicken I don't know but this is a thing right? At least that you'd be like, huh. It was pretty cool earlier when I was eating This depressive episode right on the floor staring at the ceiling what and what all means all I can think is like the back of my Thread tastes like bar from the
Starting point is 00:09:39 That I had and nothing is good It's all bad all the way down They don't give you much to hang your hat on with the great no Except for the growth of it the size of it you could hang a hat on it It's rare that there is a vegetable or fruit either one. Well, that's free where nature said yeah You can eat this but minus it just setting it on fire first perhaps if you set it on fire first it would taste better That's reserved for like meat Yeah, that's reserved for like whole grain fruit is better when you set it on fire
Starting point is 00:10:10 Yeah, you toast a grapefruit take a little blowtorch to it. You put a little salt on there We never listen to nature though. You look at a you look at a that's so would you say that again? That sounded so The first time we saw a coconut What's up? This thing is hard as fuck and it's covered in hair and we're like, I think I'm gonna have me some Gonna get in there somebody grab one of those hard nuts those hard hairy nuts off the ground They're like, I'll drink this and the person with them was like you'll Yeah, no, no, no whatever is in it I'm gonna do it and then I'm gonna pretend like it's good for me and selling a little cardboard bottles
Starting point is 00:10:49 Yeah, I've tried to drink every nut on this fucking island. It hasn't landed yet I am gonna drink this one guys this huge hearing one is gonna be the one I drink that person's having a wild day They walked up to like a banana and they're like, I'll sing to this and did it and nothing That wasn't it. I'll drink this nut. I'm gonna argue with this potato Not that either no, no, so this is an advice show. Yeah advice stay away from fruit. Yep. Yeah So so so thank but but thank you for joining us. Thank you for your support in the maximum fun drive I'm sure it went swimming like we really do appreciate you I feel bad any time we even goof about not being grateful. We're we're so deeply grateful
Starting point is 00:11:30 We've done this so many times and y'all have been so supportive of us and Just just but thank you. Thank you all and here's to another year of us Just doing that good stuff that you crave like 12 minutes about how gross grapefruits are. It's not about It's not that Okay, they're also vindictive. I think that's what Justin say is the grapefruit is both gross and punishing us for eating it Yeah, I just feel like and don't hey guys. I listen. I'm gonna cut you off right here. Delete the tweet taste is subjective I'm so glad you like grapefruit. That's wonderful. I'm happy to hear it good for you Please don't tweet at me about how good grapefruit is good. I don't need it. You can tweet at Griffin. He doesn't check Twitter
Starting point is 00:12:11 Yeah, tell me all your fruit thoughts Tell me all your thoughts on fruit a co-worker of mine recently expressed interest in trying sourdough recipes So I said I would bring her some of my extra starter to use I put some starter in a really cute jarter and let her know that I put it in the break room fridge for her She seemed really excited and she said she would take it home with her that day But here's the thing. It's been a week and the jar of starter is still in the fridge and here's the other thing It's a really really cute jar the kind that is the perfect travel size for salad dressings and other condiments The one this jar back do I awkwardly nudge my co-worker to use my starter so I so lovingly prepared or at what point can I take my sourdough and more importantly my jar
Starting point is 00:12:56 Back home. That's from sour in Southern, California We made a sourdough starter in some home at class in like high school I think maybe and they made us do that shit in a ziplock bag like we were making like we were making prison sourdough That's not this is an adorable jar and the fact that it is not being utilized like this is A fucking crime I'm angry sourdough. That's a living thing right there. Why yes And you brought a sourdough starter strap. What's that for? What? What's the deal with the sourdough starter is what cultivates wild yeast so you can use that in your bread in place of like dried yeast
Starting point is 00:13:42 Mmm And because it is cultivated in such a way that it then will give the bread the flavor the sour flavor that we associate with sourdough And so each starter is different Because you know it grows and changes over time as the east Consumes the food and you keep feeding it and you take care of it like a pet Right, and this would be like if someone asked me to cut my dog in half so they could share some of my dog And I did that and I brought half a dog into work
Starting point is 00:14:13 And then they just left that half a dog there and didn't take it home to feed it And you put your dog half in a really cute, you know box such a cute jar Um Is it I wonder if this person always planned to get the jar back 100 or if this is a recent slight that has prompted the thought of like maybe they don't deserve the jar Oh, this is good. Yeah, I you know a good fixture. This is just come come friday five o'clock everybody's punching out And the jar's still there. I think you go grab that jar you'll unscrew the lid pop it off Go up to your co-worker take out their extended hands and just dump
Starting point is 00:14:49 The gooey mess right into their open palms and then you take the jar and say that you now we both got what we need What if what if 2021 maybe part of big dog run? Now what's that big dog run? Yeah, that's our year. That's our year Griffin Perhaps the the part of big dog run right is when you have these impulse like I did this thing And they didn't do it like like you're having now, right? I brought it in it sat there for a week. They didn't take it You just take it home Right. Hmm. You don't get it. Yeah, they're not gonna ask about it. Hey, where was that sourdough starter that you put in the cute jar Now let's sit there and die
Starting point is 00:15:27 Die on the vine for one whole entire week It's taking up space in your mind It's got like it's taking up a whole corner of your brain right now that it does not need to be taking up Declutter your brain. Just do the damn thing and take your fucking cute jar back my friend Yes, you have my full permission to do that. You have done nothing wrong Except to care too much you care way too much Is it possible that they don't know what a sourdough starter is and so you say And you say I left you sourdough starter in the fridge and they said awesome
Starting point is 00:16:00 And they raced to the fridge and they threw it open and they saw a few things in there They saw well that yellow curvy friend is a banana. I know him That is a sandwich Which is bread adjacent But that seems like a bread finisher and not a starter We have what I'm I believe may be a cup of miso soup And there is a half drinking diet Coca-Cola There's a jar with some sort of blob in it that doesn't look particularly appetizing so that can't possibly be it
Starting point is 00:16:30 And a and a cold baby Ruth who freezes their baby Ruth? They see all this stuff. They don't know They don't want to walk out with with the Half canada diet coke and be like is this sourdough starter and seem like a real dipshit And be the office dipshit all of a sudden you can't leave me hanging Griffin. Who did freeze their baby Ruth? Oh, it was Mike Mike Classic Mike ever since he got promoted to night manager. He thinks he could freeze whatever he wants
Starting point is 00:16:58 I think the weirdest part it's half a baby Ruth So it's like did he freeze it at some point and then eat half and then put it back in the freezer? Sorry, no, he boils hot the other half and he squishes them together back to make one normal Baby Ruth and that's how he feels. Yeah Do you guys want to a um Do you guys want a um a quora? Oh Sorry, what do you guys want a yahoo, but it's not from yahoo. It's from the website quora
Starting point is 00:17:27 I thought for a second you were about to ask if we wanted a quibi Do you guys want to I would actually I would maybe would go down so fucking smooth right now But no i'm gonna ask about do you want to I'm I i'm out here on the edge. I'm just a man on the edge out in the rain Asking his two brothers if they wanted a quora you have been okay. I know a take to people inside You know what i'm gonna say you've been in fucking skunk works r and Scenes for weeks now you've had months to prepare And you'd be like i'm still looking for the next big thing and what you come to us with is off brand y'all
Starting point is 00:18:05 And and you didn't even rebrand your question like do you want a quora does it that's not right? You know that doesn't sound right Do you want a dr. Pop Do you guys want a sam's club yahoo Here's the thing about here's the thing about quora, okay Let me tell you because this this this is in many ways better than the avatar. Yeah, this uh, this has Open my eyes this one particular quora that was uh sent into us. Hold on. I will get this this information Who sent this into us? I'm just gonna
Starting point is 00:18:45 Type in our gmail bar quora urinal and that's from nicky sent this in thank you nicky for this flagship Quora thing about quora. I didn't realize is that they called the yahoo answers website yahoo answers But very rarely were answers provided on yahoo answers. The question was the star of the show, right? Here is a quora I guess is what they I don't know if they call them quoras or not This is the question that was posted on quora When you spit in the urinal and there's a string of saliva. Do the bacteria have time to go inside your mouth? So you read that and if that was yahoo answers
Starting point is 00:19:21 The very next one would be first of all a wild 12 paragraph Screed about how electricity has the devil in it And that the only way to save yourself is to pray to some saint or whatever, right? Then the next one would be like shut up idiot. That's not how quora does it how quora does it is that they have Anup sinha who taught microbiology to medical undergrads for over 10 years That's what his profile says And he provides an extensive answer
Starting point is 00:19:52 And to me that is the joy of quora and I'd love to read some of it if I can Yes Sure To remind you the question is when you spit in the urinal and there's a string of saliva Do the bacteria have time to go in your mouth? Anup sinha says Vibrio is one of the fastest bacteria around if not the fastest if you live If you see live vibrio under a microscope
Starting point is 00:20:11 They seem to zip around like barry allen navigating through central city and then there's a badass picture of the flash So already we got micro multimedia on this website. We've got all kinds of great stuff And how fast is this bacteria move 75 micrometers per second? Uh, is it that fast or slow? That's pretty fast And the the macraw hill encyclopedia of science and technology sites at 200 micrometers per second. That's pretty fast. Yeah And then it's an organism that's barely two micrometers in length. That's incredible speed That'd be like if we ran 75 to 200 meters per second or 447 miles an hour That's a fast little germ, huh?
Starting point is 00:20:48 Yeah, so griffin, uh, I had to ask where's the funny part Well, how quickly can this organism traverse through a string of saliva bridging your mouth in the urinal? Well, let's assume the length of the salivary bridge is 50 centimeters That seems like a reasonable estimate considering the average heart height of the adult male in placement of the average urinal I'm not being sexist here. I just think it is logical to assume that urinals are mostly used by people who pee standing up And then there's a picture of a bridge Okay, 50 centimeters is 500,000 micrometers. That's a long bridge And so to to go
Starting point is 00:21:20 500,000 micrometers moving at 200 micrometers a second that would take 2,500 seconds so if you stood still with your spit dangling out of your mouth into the urinal I like hearing that all of these words so far for 42 uninterrupted minutes That little nasty germ could maybe make it up there And you're but you would have to maintain the salivary bridge for 42 minutes and the bacteria would have to move at top speed
Starting point is 00:21:46 And I don't know how long every other thing keep it up The problem I the problem I have with this is like Even if you did it if I'm a bacteria and I see someone spit in the toilet I want to be like a you see a young buck who's like I'm going for it And every other bacteria is like I've seen so many dudes fucking try. You're never trust no way They're gonna there's they will not maintain that salivary bridge. No chance bud I mean by the time you get to five minutes, which is definitely a world record I think that is the first moment where the bacteria would be like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:22:18 I think we were all gonna fucking go for this guys. This may be the one we've always wanted to try this stuff But but my dad is too late Joseph. They'd have to go right away, right? It would have to be as soon as it like boom there Yeah off off to the races Yeah, the bacteria would have to be sort of poised on the edge of the urinal waiting for your your not your piss Your spit. Hey, if I see you standing over urinal with a dangly dangle of spit hanging out of your mouth for almost Let's round it up to an hour. Let's round it up. Let's say an episode of television sans commercials Um, I'm gonna say to something to somebody
Starting point is 00:22:54 I'll find a teacher or an adult and I will get them to I don't know put you in trouble somehow because you shouldn't be you definitely shouldn't be doing that or Or because at that point I think I might be impressed by the focus because I think you would see this that you'd walk in Hey, oh And then there would be an amount of time that you would definitely be frozen in place watching this happen Right what where you think like I need to go tell some of what is happening. I need to do something and I think in that time The curiosity would overtake you and you keep thinking well, I do want to go get someone
Starting point is 00:23:32 But I also want to see how long they can dangle this big lugious spit into the urinal Now this is getting a little gross So I just want to say that there are also bad answers on here Like somebody's saying, uh, what bacteria under normal conditions human urine is sterile In a pinch you can even use it to clean a wound. So they're saying like there's no germs in a toilet in which case Stop fucking stop it. Of course there is I'm so sick of people saying that you can pee on a jellyfish sting So you may as well drink toilet water. Stop it. That's not what that means even a little bit at all somebody did question the the um, dr. Anup sent us
Starting point is 00:24:10 Answer here and they did say wouldn't the bacteria have a shorter route going up your penis And then chris wilson who has nothing to do with anybody comes in and he's like It would have to overcome the speed of the stream and urine streams are not continuous If you were to watch it in slow motion, it's broken up into drops It would be like trying to run up a treadmill going the same speed as a fighter jet Not nearly as scientific. I could do that You could do that. First of all, you would have to keep this pee stream going for 42 minutes
Starting point is 00:24:36 Yeah, I know I can do that I can do that. I've been practicing. I only pee once every four days. Yeah Oh, it's wicked uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong. But uh, it's how I do it And I've been able to perfect and it just comes out one set is steady. There's no arc to it. Yeah It's like a lightsaber pretty wild Steady for 42 minutes. Yeah, that's a good way to do it. Yeah It doesn't save a lot of time I've been keeping track of how much time I save
Starting point is 00:25:08 Is I haven't figured out how to utilize it at all either. I don't know why I've been doing this and my doctor's really worried I'm just saying that's what core does That's how core that's core and it's a little they have that they have what we like to call a joke killer Right at the beginning where some fucking poindexter Hops up all on your biz and it's like actually I have a good answer But what's great is then you get a bunch of that's how it exactly like doofen schmerz. Justin Yeah, that was wild. Didn't know I had a different schmerz in me. Here it is What I love though is that then you get a bunch of hop-ons from people who get on the answer and they're like
Starting point is 00:25:42 That's really smart. Here's what I think when you suck some of this middle back up into your mouth And it's like stop it. The good doctor already answered this one You don't have to try and put some extra doctor juice on it. Yeah, but at that point Griffin core sounds a lot like twitter How about a question? My girlfriend recently tagged along while I went grocery shopping When we passed by the cheese aisle she stopped surprised and said hold on a sec You're not gonna buy yourself any cheese I didn't really think of anything of it until my sister came to visit the next day and opened my fridge
Starting point is 00:26:19 She get a drink. She laughed herself and said, oh I see you have a few cheese blocks in here. I know how much you love your cheese The thing is I do love cheese But I don't think I like it any more than the average person And I have no idea what I did to earn this reputation Brothers, how do I shake this and assert myself as an average cheese loving joe? That's from elizabeth and maryland Elizabeth let's first take one stop. Let's step back a little bit elizabeth
Starting point is 00:26:47 I want to talk about your sister Your sister opened the fridge and set out loud and I hope to god you are quoting them like exactly or else. It's liable Oh, I see you have a few cheese blocks in here I know how much you love your cheese. That's a really old observation elizabeth's sister It's a lot a lot Justin. I would imagine that that was not quite the delivery I would think it would make a lot probably sounded a bit more human but for sure But like I think it would go like this Oh
Starting point is 00:27:19 Is that like a little something like this? Oh I see you have a few cheese blocks in here. I know how much you love your cheese Yeah, that didn't sound more natural shrap. I don't know From what Justin did, but it was nearly identical to my ears Here's the thing I'm starting to suspect just hearing Justin say it out loud and then me say it out loud in a better way Then perhaps Your girlfriend and your sister Have have been in contact with one another like hey, do we want to do a thing with cheese?
Starting point is 00:27:52 Because I also don't know how I feel about your girlfriend saying hold on a sec You're not going to buy yourself any cheese. Like yeah, like it's a special occasion that one might do on their birthday You're not gonna have cake No, the only the only reason that somebody should be allowed to say that to you at a grocery store With a like shock in their voice should be if your name is dr. Cheese and you Sell cheese on the internet that you buy at the grocery store and it's a weird business that doesn't make any sense, but You're not getting cheap
Starting point is 00:28:24 I feel like if you have blocks of cheese in your fridge, you like cheese more than the avoridge bear Okay, that's what are you based at? What are you basing that on though that a normal a normal person doesn't have just blocks of Of cheese I do Yeah, I do you have blocks of what do you do with them? I slice them off and I fucking eat them. Yeah different cheese for different modes, you know, just you don't like raw cheese No, no, no, no, she's just just and you don't like raw cheese My wife can get nasty all she wants. I don't hold her back Okay, she's a strong beautiful bisexual woman. I let her live her own life
Starting point is 00:29:00 And if that includes eating cheese, okay, then fucking god bless unmelted justin Doesn't hurt. Do you have to leave the room or yeah, I excuse myself to our second home Excuse myself to our rear home where there is the dairy which is a cheese-free Your panic room Yeah, that's another way of that's all sort of less extravagant way of putting it but yes my cheese-free panic room Sometimes she you know what on my birthday she goes to the panic room to eat the cheese. Wow. That's not I appreciate She lets me have free reign Yeah, she you see her reaching the fridge and pull out a big block of gouda
Starting point is 00:29:38 And you're like any chance you're about to melt those on some nachos. Nope. I'm out of here No, thank you. Goodbye Uh, let's uh, let's take a quick uh break wait. Yeah, have we answered this to its fullest extent at all? No, I don't think there's an answer for I think we just say sorry that you were put in that position Just sorry, you know, it's nice to have a Fucking, you know, there are worse things you could be associated with worse stuff And if you will know you love cheese it makes Christmas a lot easier. Yeah, nothing like getting some boxes of room temperature cheddar I'm really sorry by the way if your friends and family are all huge mabimbam heads and they're gonna start calling you dr. Cheese
Starting point is 00:30:19 Yeah, that one's just too catchy Uh Our first sponsor this week. Yeah, that's right sponsors are back, baby in a big way in a big way Um, and the first one is bombas, which I this is so wild. I'm wearing bombas right now get out. Yep I'm working out when I'm working out Uh, I I slip on my bombas Sometimes I have a different pair just for working out. They're the bad the bad pair I don't like to
Starting point is 00:30:57 wear those in public because I do some profane things in them vis a vis sweat But they always are so comfortable They're stitched with this uh moisture wicking yard And they got vents that let the cool air in and prevent overheating And there's a little pillow like tab to save you from blisters They they have stay up technology. This is what it says here stay up. I know what they mean though It's like a nice perfect snug fit without being like restricted. Yeah, dude. Your foot can just like Live in these socks. It's fantastic. There's like a bit of cushiony comfort on the bottom
Starting point is 00:31:31 Uh, I wear them whenever I'm doing all my charity walk-a-thons that I did at least three a day Yeah jump rope for heart. You know traps is in this bomb. Yeah my bomb is because otherwise my feet They'll get all blistery and uncomfortable and all those things but I'll wear my bomb isn't it lets me do more charitable power walking sometimes It's a Triathlon and I'll do the power walking into a crab crawl and finish up With some skipping don't get me wrong though. I'll wear these guys in business. Absolutely. Yeah, I mean they go day to evening for sure What about all kinds of day?
Starting point is 00:32:08 Yeah, I haven't experienced that for a very long time But I do know that evening can become day. Yeah and I the socks are perfect for that too Go to bombas.com slash my brother today and you'll get 20% off your first order. That's bombas b o m b a s dot com Slash my brother for 20 off bombas.com slash my brother you know Here we are post max fun drive and I've been thinking about what to do with the sport and I'm thinking I'm gonna hire myself a bodyguard
Starting point is 00:32:38 Okay, I've seen them in movies The same really cool and they seem like you know, it's nice to have the protection But also you could become friends with them like in first kid, but the question is That's the dream. That's the dream. How would I even go about hiring someone for something like that? Yeah, I don't know. I did the last ad. I think you go to bodyguard the bodyguard store And I can't possibly be a business. Well, you know, I could try zippercruder Oh, okay Yeah, because zippercruder knows the general experience of looking for a job is pretty sucky
Starting point is 00:33:10 That's why they figured out how to make it unsucky. Okay So if you're a bodyguard and you're looking for a job, good news I'm looking for a bodyguard. Yeah, so when you sign up on zippercruder.com You can create a free profile and get matched to great jobs Plus zippercruder will proactively pitch your profile to employees and employers whose jobs match your experience Unlike with other job sites if an actual person from the company really likes what they see Yeah, they can personally Invite you to apply for their job
Starting point is 00:33:43 And if you like the job you could apply for it with just one click. It's just that easy So sign up for free on zippercruder.com today and put zippercruder to work for you One time I got on craigslist. I found a drill bit taylor on there But it ended up being a novel teorotic dancer who just based on drill bit taylor Oh Sexy. How are they? Yeah, that's really good We have wasted this world Our magic put a storm in the sky that has rendered the surface of our planet uninhabitable
Starting point is 00:34:18 But beneath the surface. Well, that's another story entirely In a city built leagues below the apocalypse Survivors of the storm forge paths through a strange new world Some seek salvation for their homeland above Others seek to chart the vast undersea expanse outside the city's walls And others still seek what else? Fortune and glory Dive into the aether sea the latest campaign from the adventure zone every other thursday on maximumfund.org
Starting point is 00:34:50 Or wherever you listen to podcasts It's almost getting I feel like it's getting too predictable at this point I do you mean in that you've done it every episode for the last 50 song I need to sunset this bed. Well, you can't say you actually can't say we made promises I Want a month squad You could start doing it at different times in the podcast instead of right after I need this though because it helps me cut
Starting point is 00:35:33 You know what I mean? This is like a I can't puts me on its back and it helps me carry me through What do you want from me? Pilot I just this isn't funny. I just want to let you know how desperate things things have gotten in this in the chicken sandwich whores I just wanted to update everybody pilot flying j Is getting into the fucking the gas station chain the gas station chain for truckers flying j Is getting into you're entering the chicken sandwich game gearing up for increased summer travel by introducing several new innovative food options
Starting point is 00:36:08 They're gonna surprise and delight our guests says a person that works at flying j our awesome menu Including our newest southern and spicy chicken sandwiches make pilot flying j the ultimate stop to fill up a great food Here's the reason you go to eat at a flying j because you get off at An exit and the windy says 0.5 miles and you're like, ah, fuck it That's too far. I'll probably get lost. I'm going to fly j you're not lured in by a menu item But that's not what we're here to talk about today Um pepsi has created peps place wait a fast bad say that one. Say it again. Say it again slower pepsi creates peps place
Starting point is 00:36:51 Pepsi creates peps place just he's stop stop I need you to keep saying those three words over and over to me again until I fall asleep Can you say him gently like ASMR him and then I'll get a quick little bit of sleep pepsi Pepsi creates pepsi creates peps place peps peps place pepsi creates peps place epi apostrophe s place PEP apostrophe eps pep eps
Starting point is 00:37:21 Do you guys do you guys Do you guys know Do you guys know the original name of pepsi? I just think it's fun. We talked about it on saw bones once the original name of pepsi is brad's drink But I bet they're kicking themselves now because brad's place is a better name. Yeah 1890. Yeah, if it was called brad's drink still God, it's so funny brad's drink. Hey, who made this? I'm renaming it to pepsi Me I made it. My name's brad. It's my drink. Okay. So pep pep pep pep
Starting point is 00:37:58 pepsi creates peps place a fast beverage restaurant I think you said bad Bad fridge, which is also strong This one is like among the more orwellium Encountered in the segment Few things are more agreed upon than our collective unabologetic love of food cheesy
Starting point is 00:38:21 juicy Ah Here's different ways food could be taken from us pepsi. Trust us. We know about foods So it's um So many of our favorite eats are enhanced with pair with an ice cold pepsi cola To reinforce this the pepsi brand is upending What we expect of the food delivery world with today's launch of peps place Where the cola comes first? Oh
Starting point is 00:38:53 This inventive fast beverage restaurant turns the traditional ordering process on its head. Okay. Consumers are invited to first Pick their pepsi beverage of choice. Do they have coke products? I assume they don't They don't okay, which then prompts curated food items based on that The fuck out to enhance the overall meal experience peps place Opens today and select locations around the country For delivery only through peps place restaurant.com and major food aggregators like uh, Well, none of them paid to be mentioned on this episode. So I won't so what you're saying is the process is
Starting point is 00:39:39 I would get on peps place.com and pick pepsi I guess pepsi and it would be like based on the fact that you ordered a pepsi Here's some food. Hey, there's no reason for you to get ahead of me, but I'll walk you through the entire process Come with me. Thank you here. Let me hit you with my shrink grandkids in my pocket. We're going to peps place You're looking for a bold cola profile and lemony citrus notes of pepsi zero sugar Well, that pairs gracefully with our crisp and tangy season chicken Caesar salad Craving a tropical splash of pepsi mango the fruity and floral notes compliment the perfect blend of my own chilies Found in our buffaloing sauce. Here's how you order
Starting point is 00:40:17 First step one you select from a bevy of pepsi beverages and then it lists I shit you not nine of them pepsi diet pepsi pepsi zero sugar pepsi real sugar pepsi wild cherry pepsi zero sugar Wild cherry pepsi mango and pepsi mango flavor sugar plate flavor diet pepsi pepsi pepsi mango cherry mango mango soda pepsi soda There's quiet dept. Yeah, right dept. He's sweet sweet cold pepsi and pepsi. Patrick Dempsey There's Dempsey's and peepsies and puppies and chocolate chocolate cherry mango mango sugar zero Choose from and then you'll choose from a menu curated from with mouthwatering food pairings from your cola choice And then it lists food
Starting point is 00:41:02 Cheeseburgers buffalo wings Cajun chicken sandwiches you get the idea chicken sandwich wars raging on even at pep pep pep pep pep pep pep peps place Then you fill out the meal with delectable sides including mac and cheese broccoli and lays chips. Huh, all right He's Pepp's place will be opened every day for the next 30 days I This is can I I rarely do this because I want I always want it to be a special surprise But I did load up the menu and I I do
Starting point is 00:41:59 I am confused about If I do you have access to peps place and awesome No, there's one in el paso, which I'm pretty sure the pepsi would have gone quite flat by the time it reached my house from el paso but like you can get Any it doesn't suggest a food. I they have six items and then they have nine pepsis And no matter which pepsi you choose you can get one of the six. I want it to be restrictive
Starting point is 00:42:27 Like I want it to be like I would like the pepsi mango zero sugar with the louisiana style chicken sandwich and have the website be like No, because those two don't go together You can't have that. I mean, I know it seems like a small complaint But like it is the entire point of the entire fucking thing. It's like if that doesn't right um Now this press release didn't tell me about this but I Started thinking about it and like there is no way that pepsi is springing up
Starting point is 00:43:01 um Like restaurants, right? No, because they're pepsi Right, so I because you've you've seen this uh phenomenon on like, uh, uh all the the different food delivery apps I don't know if you guys have seen these all of a sudden a restaurant opens up And you're like, well, I've never heard of of this place and it's like well, that's because it's just yeah Oh, yeah, it's just chilies pretending to be a ghost restaurant Yeah, ghost restaurant, right? We've discussed this this subject. So I was like, this can't this can't be just like me
Starting point is 00:43:32 So if you guys heard of a chain called famous daves, yeah, yeah Okay, wait, wait, you say famous daves or did you say peps place? My internet broke up and it's the distinction is basically Is is what I'm saying is it is a um Um There's no distinction peps place is a flat circle peps place is a different way to order from famous days, which would have been a better Headline for
Starting point is 00:44:01 But famous daves has a way bigger menu than peps place This is well, yeah, but peps place is a smaller restaurant that is in the corner of famous daves is what we're Supposed to imagine they don't mention by the way in the press release They do not say this is the food from famous. Yeah, that's how that's how famous dave is they won't even give him a shout out No, no, no, it's from peps place a real restaurant Hey, tell me what you think of this idea boys business idea because you guys love this shit You watch shark tank and all that shit I'll go buy an aquarium and I'm gonna fill it with country time lemonade powder
Starting point is 00:44:36 And I'm gonna put a hose in there and make that good yellow drink And then I'm gonna throw that in the trunk of my car Which I will then crash into the foyer of a burger king and then open the trunk and hang a sign out This says griffin's place and then you can come there and get this lemonade forward experience at griffin's place Catered by the burger king that I crashed my car into okay. Here's my question. I'm looking at two different menus peps place is offering a brownie dessert If I Shouldn't have that it is very clearly a brownie dessert. They are under dessert
Starting point is 00:45:12 There's one option and it looks like a brownie with some whipped cream on top of it if I Order from that pest place and I call them And I say I would like the apple the apple crisp and they're like that's not on the menu you call famous daves and say hi I'm recalling for peps place. They will think you are an absolute maniac There is no way they will know about this. I'm just saying if peps place is at famous daves And famous daves has peach cobbler and apple crisp and a daves award-winning bread pudding I'm looking at the menu now in el paso. I should be able to get those things from peps place
Starting point is 00:45:46 Why is peps place limiting the things I can order when I know they have access if you eat peach cobbler with peps You'll fuck you'll die. You'll fucking die dude. I wish I said that on the peps place menu like we know that This isn't the only food on earth, but it is the only food you can eat safely with peps We're going to restrict you're not ready for the entire famous daves menu. You can't handle it A lot of people talk about diacocomintose. It makes a big explosion. A lot of people talk about peps does that with most foods For years, we've known that pepsi is the perfect complement to a variety of foods But even though consumers know that food tastes better with pepsi
Starting point is 00:46:25 That's how I talk when I'm saying all caps better with pepsi They often still forget to order a beverage with their favorite meals says Todd Kaplan Vice president of marketing of pepsi inventing an absolute fucking fabrication. That doesn't happen for the for the convenience of his absolute Unhinged ghost restaurant with the launch of peps place. We've designed a new fast beverage restaurant delivery concept that features a menu and experience literally built around the idea Of what foods go best with pepsi allowing consumers at home to fully optimize their meals We are confident that by doing this everyone will agree and taste firsthand
Starting point is 00:47:07 How well pepsi goes with their favorite foods. Cool. Uh, so that's the news Um for for this week. Cool Um, we can blast back to the past with the final yahoo Yeah, let's take a trip back. I need a name for this segment also. I'm so couldn't even be troubled to come up with the name of this segment griff. Wow. Well, all right Yeah, you know what never mind We do have more show so you do have to say something so this final yahoo is from episode five and um Yeah, so it's a very old one and the archive.org of yahoo has been
Starting point is 00:47:43 Really fucking up today, which is a shame. I think the wayback machine is not putting a lot of their juice behind keeping the yahoo Answer service in its uh in its heart. Okay. No, but matt Matt asked this and asked back in episode five so many years ago Can you take parakeets in the shower with you? Hey, I'm thinking of getting a parakeet and I was wondering if it's possible to take them in the shower with you by using Some kind of special purge. Thanks. See you don't get those extra details in the final yahoo Because I just get I get in there with the way and bam. Thank you, ma'am. I get you with a good joke Here's whoa
Starting point is 00:48:18 Um, we don't know much about birds or bird uh biology. You don't oh, okay Yeah, go ahead. No, I don't either. Okay Yeah, I mean, there's water birds. I've seen penguins swim and uh flamingo stand in the water I don't know if they like to actually get down in it ducks It rains outside, right? It rains outside and that's where birds usually do except for parakeets aren't really outside They live in the junk. Wait, I mean they were originally outside. Were they just You have no way of proving that Because here's the thing think about Justin think about this because this is what just happened to me, right?
Starting point is 00:48:54 I thought well parakeets must originally come from the jungle. They're brightly covered bird colored bird, right like I can picture a parrot in the jungle Right, but when I try to picture like a parakeet in the wild My brain won't do it and I and also not to keep poking holes in this thing But I'm trying to imagine a wet parrot and I just can't get there guys. I bet it looks weird I yeah, I bet it's not a happy camper for sure I just assume most birds if they get the least bit wet they die instantly Because they can't fly anymore because of the extra weight
Starting point is 00:49:26 um, I think for this new um For this new segment what I love is the idea of actually trying to get some answers here So I want to take you guys inside with uh, the nest Uh, and the their article how to bathe parakeet. Okay. Now step one is Spritz your parakeet gently with lukewarm water from a spray well, that's how I shower These stars have aligned quite perfectly so far Why isn't step one prepare your parakeet mentally for what's about to happen? Yeah, yeah, just absolutely not
Starting point is 00:49:59 Just just eat a bunch of water onto your body out of fucking nowhere. What the fuck was that? Well, I mean step one should be buy or hatch a parakeet. Yeah Right. I can't wonder into this article fucking parakeetless and just lost from the jump If the if it likes it, um, how to and how she enjoys this she will hold her wings away from her body and ruffle her feathers She may also make A budgie play face at you by gaping her beak and trying to drink the water Except for very specific. Sure. We can't do that now. What kind of spray bottle we're talking here. What's the max pressure? I want what kind of psi are we doing? No, you'll want to actually absolutely just blaze your parakeet. You want to blow it
Starting point is 00:50:44 We can blow it off the perch, but here's the thing, right? If it if it likes it You can go for you could jump to step three And step three right here is the shower method where it says I shit you not Bring your parakeet into the bathtub or shower with you Spray her gently with the handheld shower nozzle and lukewarm or mildly warm water This option is for parakeets that love water and absolutely adore the spray bottle It adds extra excitement for your pet and turns bath time into a social event with her favorite person Hey, Justin, does it specify whether or not I can wear my swim trunks?
Starting point is 00:51:26 Out will the parakeet see it and be I don't want the parakeet to see me naked Even worse though is if it does attack it and I have to fight it off in a sort of panic response You get the question so you die. What do I grow one of those? Like I just don't want to have to just and I don't want to have to go to the doctor And when the doctor's like what happened to your penis? I don't want to be like well my parakeet panicked And it attacked right so I'm thinking maybe like I could wear my swim trunks And I'm gonna protect I want to protect my nipples too if I'm being honest. I was having a non-sexual bath with my parrot
Starting point is 00:51:59 Keat Parrot Keat His names my parrot keep parrot Pete is his name. Yeah My parrot keeps name parrot isn't there with my parrot my parrot keep parrot Pete my parrot parrot Keith And it was on the parrot pet and I got got a shower going and it went right for it and gosh darn it I should have seen it coming. This is your third visit this week. Yeah, doc. I got a lot of pretty bad A lot of birds got even more showers. How's the but how's the parakeet? Oh dead Yeah, no he attacked my wiener in the shower and that's a private place and you understand
Starting point is 00:52:35 It's all in yeah, it was all in Right now. I didn't want to but I had to it's survival. I just caveman shit doc. I mean back our old ancestors wasn't it between friends Hey, that's so cool. Hey everybody don't we have the coolest veterinarian in town and everybody's like No questions. Yes, this guy never knocks It doesn't matter how many birds you kill this guy's a fucking so cool God you're a cool man. Thank you. I'm gonna go smoke some weed It reminds me. These parakeets are the one that talks. Uh, no, I don't think so been fucking fine, baby
Starting point is 00:53:18 This guy he either tells me it's okay that I killed my birds or tries to buy him off of me at less than market rates What a cool vet you are That's the coolest man. He keeps saying he says so much funny shit like I'm not a vet and things like that I hope he dates my mom Oh my god. Yeah, Justin. Do you guys want to something absolutely wild? This is unrelated before we close the show As we are have been sitting here in the past seven minutes I got a notification that roku is going to be launching original programming fueled by
Starting point is 00:53:52 quibi quibi's content That's right They're in the and we would demand quibi And quibi's there for us. Um some good stuff ron had a show We need to call ron make sure ron knows about ron good. I'm sure ron probably ron probably knows Um, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. My brother. My brother made this this one Um, and thank you again. We we judge about it, but thank you so much for your support in the drive Uh, it it means the world to us. Um, we got a lot of cool merch for you
Starting point is 00:54:21 If you head on over to mackleroymerch.com our pen of the month is the tub pumpkin Which proceeds from that pen are going to the equal justice initiative Which is committed to ending mass incarceration and excessive punishment in the united states To challenging racial and economic injustice and to protecting basic human rights from those vulnerable people in american society That's at mackleroymerch.com. Um, you can pre-order that All right Now we also have a save the new Appalachian workshop sticker Uh-huh stupid hammer griffin on there
Starting point is 00:54:54 What a delight and uh, some of that proceeds from that will go to habitat for humanity of the tri-state So you'll help build homes for people here in huntington west virginia. Um, okay. Thanks to montane for the use of our theme song Uh, my life is better with you Uh, great track. Can't wait for that one to drop and uh, so stoked for eurovision can't wait to see There's the new music video is out for uh, montanes eurovision song technicolor now on I don't know youtube and um Hey, we just started a new season of the adventure zone if uh, if that's something that you're interested in it's called ether See it's an underwater
Starting point is 00:55:30 Adventure and we're playing a world building game called the quiet year in a little uh setup session That's happening right now. It's a lot of fun. And I think you'll like it a lot There's probably I think two episodes out by the time you hear this and more comments So check that totally out too. I don't have a final This is with my brother my brother make this your dad's This has been oh no, I dropped so oh here's one. This is the final. Oh, I hold on. No, I just got it to load a refresh It enough time. You're embarrassing. No, I load it. I refresh it enough times and it's when I send him by dot And it is asked by yahoo answers user jesson
Starting point is 00:56:07 Who asks I dropped a spaghetti on my grandpa's But And he died. How do I do it? Is it real one guys? I got a torque You're killing me. You found that one. You're sitting on it. I'm looking I'm griffin rocker, right? This is with my brother my brother make kiss your dad's screw on the lips Oh It's better with you
Starting point is 00:57:16 Maximum fund org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported The 2021 pin sale has begun. Thank you so much to everyone who participated in the max fund drive This is the last year for a while that we'll be doing pins for max fund drive And the fifth year that we'll be selling pins and donating all proceeds to charity The past year proved what we already knew that having access to the internet at home is a necessity for work school healthcare and Keeping in touch with family and friends So the proceeds from this year's pin sale will go towards everyone on a non-profit working to bridge the digital divide
Starting point is 00:57:55 We're grateful that with your support we'll be able to help low-income folks gain access to affordable computers internet services and digital literacy programs the sale will run until may 28th Folks at the $10 monthly level and above will have access to all of the pins from the drive That's 38 pins one from every show on the network. We also have a special 2021 max fund drive pin that all members can purchase Go to maximum fund org slash pin sale for more info and to learn more about everyone on and support them directly You can go to everyone on dot org You

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